Nice to know I had an extra hour to finish this given this was a very busy week! I've really been enjoying writing this story, and we're FINALLY back to seeing what this group is up to!
Please Remember Me Like This
Chapter 8: "I'm Unapologetically Free"
Was it just him, or was Aeric acting a little... weird? There seemed to be an invisible wall, a slight distance growing, an itch he couldn't scratch. When it came to magic , his responses were quick, aloof, distant, even, and then he'd quickly try to change the subject to something else, like prom campaigning and acceptance letters.
Ian didn't get it. Aeric usually loved seeing all the new spells he learned. So what was with him now? Didn't they promise each other that they would communicate more? He couldn't be... jealous, could he? Ian still went to home games, still went to Aeric's house most weekends so they could study—so what if he dropped his extracurricular clubs? It wasn't like he ditched class for magic, when there was a whole semester they still had to get through!
"What's up with you?" he dared to ask, a few weeks after he learned how to astral project once they had some alone time at his place. Aeric really didn't act as excited about that as he should have, and that bugged Ian, just a bit. Sure, it was on him for not saying anything about dropping out, but he thought he'd sent a text! He didn't mean to space out; surely his boyfriend knew this.
"What's up with what?" Aeric shrugged, putting his arm behind his head with a sigh.
"You know... stuff." Ian sighed, too, resting a hand on Aeric's bare chest before cuddling up a little closer. Empty house, studying done... Sure, they could have some fun, but even then, Aeric looked somewhat out of it. "Magic? You don't seem to like it anymore."
"I do like it," Aeric assured, pulling him in closer. "I love seeing all the new things you can do, and it's so impressive. But now it seems like you've been advancing so much and I'm just... here. I'm just supporting when you do something new and not learning with you, when now you have this group to fall back on."
So that was it. It was a slight bout of jealousy. Ian had this new group to learn magic with, and Aeric felt like he was being left out to the wayside. "Trust me, babe, I want to tell you everything," he said, because he did. He wanted to bring Aeric in on meetings and let him know that this amazing group taught him things about magic not even he or Barley ever considered. "I wish I could tell you how great everyone is, how there's this one awesome girl who just graduated Willowdale and is giving me loads of advice, or just how much Victoriana knows, or how I'm pretty much one of the best wizards there!"
Well, it wasn't like he signed a confidentiality agreement or anything, but something about a group called the Order of the Gifted kind of screamed exclusivity. Not to mention, Victoriana didn't take too kindly to those who were "Giftless," as she liked to call them. Ian thought that term might be too extreme, given how few wizards were actually out there, but given the Gift was hereditary... he could understand why she believed it. He wondered if she'd ever been persecuted for magic, and that was why they had to be so secretive, with new locations every week, and no real way to contact her outside of magic.
"Then why don't you?" Aeric asked, reaching up with his free hand to brush Ian's hair back. "Obviously you want to tell me about it—not like I have anyone else to tell."
Ian bit his lip, contemplating. Oh, did he want to tell Aeric, completely. He wanted to recount every meeting, wanted him to see what he did, to experience it all. But Aeric unfortunately wouldn't get it. He'd appreciate all the magic, sure, but he wouldn't feel the surge of pride whenever anyone performed a new, complicated spell, knowing how much work and Heart's Fire that went into it. He wouldn't know what he felt (though, to be fair, an empathy spell might be something to think about writing in the near future, and he hoped to not forget this thought so he could write it down somewhere). "You're right—I really want to," he said, nuzzling his cheek into Aeric's palm. "But that wouldn't be fair to the rest of the group. You can trust that what we're doing is good, though, right? That we're learning so much to better the world we inhabit?"
"I trust you," said Aeric. Which was another way of saying that he didn't trust Victoriana, who had been so kind to him when he started! What about her threatened Aeric so much? Her height? Her calm voice? The fact that she could do the one thing he couldn't?
Was she what was causing his jealousy?
"I know what you do with magic isn't just for selfish reasons," he continued. "You really do want to teach everyone how great magic can be. And I know lately that hasn't been as easy as before."
Referring to Hallow's Eve, to the potential peers Ian might have at Willowdale who had judged him just based on the easiest of spells. When Ian asked Morgana later if she'd ever had such trouble during college dealing with magic, all she'd replied with was, "I never cared."
And the problem was: Ian did. He did care what people thought, because he didn't want to be the freak. He wanted to be like Dad—he still kept that original list he'd made on his 16th birthday close to his heart. Be like Dad. Be the guy people remembered for all the right reasons.
And he had to educate, the way Dad would, and show them that magic wasn't something to fear, and to embrace. It wasn't like he used it to cheat on tests or skip school! And he never would!
Ian took Aeric's hand in his own, playing with his fingers. "I'll ask Victoriana about what I'm allowed to tell you, okay?" he suggested, hoping that would sate his boyfriend for now. "Because I want us to be as open as we were before. It's senior year, I feel amazing, and all I want to do is teach you just how much magic I've learned in such a short amount of time! And I want you to meet the group—heck, maybe we could all do a meetup outside of a meeting, you know?"
"I'd love that, but you don't have to go that far out of your way if you think it might cause some trouble," Aeric replied, backing off the subject a little. Did he really want to keep all magic conversations just between the two of them. "I just don't like feeling out of the loop when it comes to how close we are, you know?"
"I do." Nodding, Ian brought Aeric's hand to his lips and kissed his palm. "But when it comes to you, you're no trouble at all, and you're totally worth it." Aeric did deserve to know all of this, to show he was a supporter of magic in all its wonderful forms.
Victoriana would surely understand that, right?
Their next meeting, that Monday afternoon (this time in a ballroom at the rather swanky Boneaventure Hotel downtown), Ian came in completely prepared to ask Victoriana all about Aeric and what he could disclose about their meetings. Maybe he could just show Aeric his notes? How he'd advanced so quickly? But he ran a little late, forgetting to fill up his tank before school, and had to do so on the way to the meeting. By the time he arrived, everyone had their staffs in hand, chairs made into the usual circle in the middle of the room. Ian barely had time to eye the goodies Rose had made this week before Ferry escorted him to the only empty chair, beside him and Parker, shooting them both friendly nods.
Victoriana led them through affirmations, sayings that boosted up their confidence in using magic, and then each person shared a way in which they used a new spell outside the group. Ian's personal favorite was how Carls actually used magic to assist one of her patients, who was having trouble breathing. Seeing magic used in such innovative, helpful ways always gave Ian hope that there was a future where magic coincided with all the amazing technology their world had now. Though Parker, who used magic to create an algorithm to get their accounting spreadsheets done in a more efficient amount of time, was pretty impressive, too.
By the time the group got around to Ian, all he could say was, "I really like the astral projection spell. Sometimes I use it to project into my boyfriend's room so we can study together—while not actually being together. It's better than FaceTime!"
Victoriana just raised an arched, navy brow, clearly unimpressed, and Ian wanted to immediately shrink back.
"It's so nice you have someone to share all this with," Lili sighed. "Someone who knows all about your Gift and still loves you."
"Y-yeah!" Well, nice to see the rest of the group nodding in agreement. "Magic honestly brought us together in the first place, so he's always curious to see what I'm learning, and he's a great help."
"All right, all right," said Victoriana, standing and immediately shutting Ian up. So much for trying to bring Aeric up in front of her. It wasn't like she didn't know what he looked like! "I believe we're ready to move on.
"I've actually a confession to make: while you are, indeed, rather Gifted, I must admit, my bringing this group together is for a different reason altogether."
Ian's brow furrowed, confused. Then what were they all brought together for?
Victoriana continued, "I'm sure your studies with magic, particularly those of you familiar with Quests of Yore, surely have heard of Vesshydar's Diamond."
At that, everyone's eyes (or, in Cord's case, eye) widened. Vesshydar's Diamond was the rarest item in the game, according to Barley. In all his Quests, apparently no one had been able to find it, much less learn how to wield it. A twenty sided, brilliant diamond lost to history.
"Isn't that the diamond that grants whoever finds it any wish, including raising the dead and immortality?" Morgana piped up. "Isn't it just a myth?"
"All Quests of Yore myths are rooted in some sort of history. Surely you all know that with how the most basic of spells exist in the book," Victoriana explained. "I assure you, Vesshydar's Diamond does indeed exist. After the wielder harnesses its power, it's hidden again, and can only be brought out in the presence of extremely powerful magic. And I believe it's somewhere here in New Mushroomton. I believe that, bringing all of you together, to practice and perfect your Gifts, we can find the Diamond. We can bring it out of the shadows and use it as a vessel to show the world just how wonderful magic can be."
At that, they all turned to each other, twittering quietly. Ian stayed stark silent, gripping his staff tighter, unsure what to think. Vesshydar's Diamond... real? He'd have to go through the books Barley gave him to get a better understanding of it.
"So we use the Diamond as a way to bring tolerance?" asked Rose. "That's the wish you want?"
"Well, I believe it's the one we can all agree upon," Victoriana pointed out. "There are infinite wishes the Diamond can grant, but only one before it's hidden again. And, if we all find it, that seems to be the most reasonable wish, wouldn't you say?"
Everyone grumbled in agreement, really not sure what else to say. Really, it's all Ian wanted, especially after the Hallow's Eve party, and the prospect of going to class with some of them. If they could change the mindset... they could change their futures for the better.
"So... what kind of magic should we be doing to bring out the Diamond?" Ferry asked, going as far as to raise his hand to speak. Usually everyone quieted down during their discussions, but he still had a couple of high school tendencies.
"That, I'm not sure." Victoriana stroked her chin a moment, before setting her staff down. "It's why we're trying such drastic new techniques—whatever magic might help make its location known."
"And how will we know?" Ian piped up, finally with a question.
"Again, unsure." Given the Diamond was a mystical artifact, maybe the answer wasn't concrete. "Legend has it, the Diamond will make itself known to the worthiest wizard. And that could be any of you." Was it just him, or did her steel gaze square solely on him when she said that?
"In the meantime, though, please refrain from letting anyone know about the Diamond's presence, until we're more sure about it's location." The group nodded in agreement. "And for now, practice is in order, yes?" Victoriana walked to the center of the room, her heels always echoing under the hard floor beneath her to command attention. "Now, we all know that the staff is the anchor that helps ground your magic. But you are the vessels that hold your Gifts. You control the direction and flow of magic, through concentration, through Heart's Fire, through belief in yourselves. And while the staff helps harness external elements and helps amplify complicated spells, you, as the vessels, can perform magic, even without your staffs."
That's what Ian really liked about Victoriana. She always had this control to her voice, and had such radical ways of looking at magic that he never would have thought of, elements to use that weren't in the Quests of Yore book, tips and tricks to help write their own spells. Ian never would have thought of ever even attempting magic without a staff. It seemed almost ludicrous!
"Everything has to be in order, of course: your goals, your confidence, your Heart's Fire, your concentration. But once you get it down..." She aimed her hands at the snack table behind them. "You can do anything. Aloft Elevar!"
Her hands glowed blue, and the snack table rose effortlessly a few feet in the air. Again, this shocked everyone in group, almost as much as the announcement that the diamond existed. Two sucker punches at once! Did this mean he could do it as well? Or anyone else here? The group applauded politely as she set the table back down, impressed.
"Unfortunately, that might be a lesson for another time," she sighed. "But that doesn't mean you all shouldn't try, of course. For now, pair up—we'll continue working on projecting ourselves, this time to places of comfort, as opposed to close proximity. Is it home? Dragonland? A cliff side by the ocean? Once you can project there, to a comfort zone, it feels as if the world cannot harm you."
Just as Ian turned to Parker to ask if he could pair with them, Victoriana tapped his shoulder. "Actually, Iandore, I hope you'll join me for a one-on-one lesson instead."
Sometimes she did this, took a student aside for some extra time in learning magic. Last week it was Lili, who had confidence issues in projecting, and last week it was Rose, who needed help shrinking assist items to use in her staff.
But Ian noticed this fondness Victoriana held for him whenever it was just the two of them, and in secrecy she admitted to finding him more advanced than the others, taking up magic so easily (though he'd argue in opposition of that—but then again, no one in the group had ever conjured arcane lightning before). He liked knowing that after a year, he'd really been improving with magic, to the point where it could really be integrated in his life, and Victoriana helped give him the tools to harness that.
"Yeah, sure." Ian nodded, following her to a private corner of the ballroom, near the snack table. Maybe he could take this time to ask about what Aeric could know. In fact, he should take advantage of that now, since he couldn't earlier... "Victoriana, can I ask you something?"
"Yes, of course, Iandore." She always insisted on calling him by his full name, but the others in the group were good about just calling him "Ian." "What's plaguing your mind?"
"Um... my boyfriend, actually," he said, starting out slowly. "I know he really loves what I can do with magic, but it's hard to not say anything about what we've been learning. And now it's like anything I show off to him, he seems a little... turned off by it because I'm not as open as I could be. And I want to be open—but I'm not sure what I can tell him about the group."
"Ah, yes—the jock. He is Giftless, yes?"
Ian always hated that term, like people like Aeric were less than. But he knew better than to speak out against her. "He is... but before I found everyone here, he used to help me practice spells, and now we're doing that less often. Maybe it'd be okay if I brought him to a meeting sometime—"
"No," she shut down immediately, then regained her composure once Ian shrunk back. "I apologize, Iandore, but there's only so much that someone who is Giftless can get out of our meetings."
"Then... what can I tell him? He and my family are such huge parts of my life, and I want them to know and be proud of what we're doing here."
"Well..." She took a moment, pondering his question for a bit. "You could certainly show off the new spells you've been learning—though from my understanding, you've been doing that for some time now. And yet he still feels distant?"
"Well... yeah. We usually tell each other everything, and I want him to be proud of my magic, not afraid of it."
"If he fears it now, it might might be because he has no control over what you're doing anymore," she said calmly, almost as if she was already bored of the conversation. "You're moving on and learning without him."
"'Control'?" Ian repeated, confused. "Aeric doesn't try to control me. He just wants us to communicate more, and I want to know what I'm allowed to say around him."
Victoriana just shrugged at that. "If you insist." Why was her tone so... blasé? This was nothing short of a heavy accusation! "Tell him anything about what you've been learning. Show him your meticulous notes, if you must. Unfortunately without the Gift, he won't understand it as intimately as the others will."
Well... at least it was an answer. Ian would at least try to make Aeric understand, then. And he probably would, given how intuitive and intelligent he was. This thing about control, though? He wasn't sure what to think about that.
"Come now, we're wasting precious time together," said Victoriana, quickly changing the subject. "Hand me your staff, please."
"Hand you my..." Ian's brow furrowed, getting it. "You... you really think I'm ready for staffless magic?"
"I don't think. I know." She held out her manicured hand to emphasize her point. "Now, hand it over, and try to lift the tray of cookies Rosalinda so lovingly baked for us."
Ian took a deep breath, assuming the stance and holding a hand out like it was his staff, thinking hard about what he wanted. "Aloft Elevar!" Nothing.
Victoriana sighed, examining his staff with a critical eye for the first time. "I now notice your staff has no markings from the Ancient Tree," she noted, twirling it slowly in her hands. "Where did you get this?"
"Well..." Ian could bet she wouldn't like this answer. "It's just a splinter I made bigger. The whole staff was my dad's, and then... I lost the rest of it in the ocean during battle. It's all I have. Aeric even offered to get me a new one for Winter Solstice, but... it's one of the only things of his that we actually connected on."
"I see." Her steel gaze, when it got so cold like that, made him feel like a bug under a microscope, always judging, always thinking. "Well, if you can conjure arcane lightning from a mere splinter, you can certainly do staffless magic."
"What am I doing wrong, then?" he asked, sighing.
"That stance, for sure," she scoffed. "Where in the realms did you even learn how to stand like that to conjure magic?"
"My brother," Ian confessed, flushing. "He calls it the 'wizard stance.'"
"Your brother, the Quests of Yore fanatic?" She sounded like she might have scoffed again. "A wizard stance must feel natural, not forced until it becomes muscle memory. Follow my lead. Feet at shoulder width. Now... think of a string, holding you up, going through your spine. Feel that string pull back, and tighten..." Ian thought of it, and immediately his posture straightened itself out. "Good. Chin up slightly...
"And now... feel the flow of magic coursing through you. It's a part of you, after all—do you feel it?"
Concentrating, Ian closed his eyes and tried not to think so hard. He nodded when he felt it at the base of his spine.
"Listen to your heartbeat, the core of it all. Your Heart's Fire. Think about what gives you that confidence and power." Barley's support. Mom's kindness. Aeric's love. The tingling moved up his back, through his legs, his hands, his head. His heartbeat slowed the more he relaxed into it. "Slowly lift your hand up. Be sure of your words. Magic may be shown as an extension through the staff, but only those who are worthy have the Gift flowing through their veins. Now, speak."
"Aloft Elevar!" Ian cried confidently, and his fingers glowed the same as the tip of his staff would, if he were using it. The tray of cookies started to levitate, and Ian knew—he did that! He could feel the magic flowing through him even stronger than it ever had before!
"Perfect." Out of the corner of his eye, Ian watched the corners of her mouth twitch upward the slightest bit. "You really are quite the promising wizard, Iandore."
Once Ian set the tray down, he noticed the whole group had been watching, just as wide eyed as they'd been when Victoriana did her demonstration, before bursting into applause and smiles, shouting words of encouragement.
He actually did it—! He did staffless magic! And he wondered what else he could do with it, now that he had all the tools at his disposal...
And, even more importantly, he couldn't wait to tell Aeric and Barley!
I know a lot of media likes to explore Ian being able to do staffless magic... and I'm joining the fray, too! And I'm having a lot of fun writing Victoriana, mysterious as she is.
As always, comments and kudos are insanely appreciated. Your feedback means the world to me.