Jessica talked eagerly every second she could that week about the upcoming movie date, while I tried and failed to keep it out of my mind, reminding myself over and over that Jacob was my best friend and I wouldn't- couldn't lose him.
The group debated between a few movies and finally landed on a comedy: The Pink Panther .
Thank god , I thought feverishly. There was nothing better than a mindless funny movie to ease tensions in a group setting.
School work picked up for both Jake and I, so we only managed to fit in a few bike rides among our study nights. I was getting better at the bike, which meant less bandages to worry Charlie, and more fun for Jacob and I- although the voice continued to berate me every time we rode. That was a problem. We decided to put off our next hike until Sunday after the movie night, when we'd have the full day to do it, and promised each other to have our homework finished before Saturday night so we didn't have to worry about it all weekend.
I woke up before my alarm Saturday morning in a practical frenzy. I had to repeatedly remind myself to breathe and modulate my heart rate as I showered and completed my morning ablutions. Charlie threw me a few skeptical looks before he left for his shift that he'd taken on due to the multiple missing hiker cases, but I must have convinced him I was fine as he left with little more than a grunt and an eyebrow raise.
I busied myself, or at least tried to busy myself with the laundry and finishing up some chores around the house, but the hours seemed to drag on and on. I even tried to sit and busy myself with a book but the words blurred together in front of my eyes and I kept getting up to pace nervously. I'd finished all my homework on Friday night in anticipation of the weekend but now I was itching for anything to do to make the time pass quicker.
Against all odds, dramatic, much?, five o' clock finally rolled around and I pretended not to be looking out the blinds every two seconds until suddenly there was a very familiar car parked in my driveway.
"No way!" I shouted, bounding out of the house. "You're done! I can't believe it! You finished the Rabbit!"
He beamed. "Just last night! This is the maiden voyage."
"Incredible! Jake I'm so proud of you!" I held my hand up for a high five.
He smacked his hand against mine, but left it there, intertwining his fingers with mine. "So do I get to drive tonight?"
"Unfortunately not, I already told Jess to pick us up. Carpooling is good for the environment, you know," I reminded him, then stepped back, giving him a quick up-down.
Jesus, has he gotten bigger?! I thought in disbelief, my jaw dropping slightly.
"Jacob, what on earth are you eating ?" I exclaimed, looking him up and down. His muscles looked like they'd filled out even further since I'd last seen him Thursday, but that was impossible… right?
"Oh come on, Bells, stop! You're making me blush!" he teased, and pulled me towards the house. He seemed to loom over me as we stepped into the foyer, filling up the space so there was nowhere else to look but him. I shook my head, at a loss for words.
"I must be losing it. Every time I see you I swear you look more and more like a bear!"
That earned a deep belly laugh from him, and I scrunched up my nose. Was his voice even deeper now?
"That's it, I give up," I sighed heavily, and he looked at me curiously.
"What?"
"I can't top this one. I'm giving up. You're the oldest."
He shrugged, unsurprised at my capitulation. "Of course I am." He sniffed conspicuously, and I followed his not-so-subtle glances towards the kitchen.
"Yes, we have leftovers, though I'm shocked you can even smell them." He grinned, unrepentant. I threw him a sardonic smile. "Maybe I shouldn't be so shocked anymore. Would you like me to heat some up?"
Jacob was running at the kitchen table faster than I could say food , and sat quickly, looking up at me with an eager expression. I barked out a laugh, ruffling his hair as I walked by towards the fridge.
"I love you, Bells."
My hand froze on the refrigerator handle as my heart made a break for it out of my chest. I forced out a scratchy chuckle, hoping he hadn't noticed my freeze-up, and got out the lemon garlic chicken I'd made for Friday's dinner.
"My cooking is legendary for sure," I tried to say casually, ignoring the maelstrom currently happening in my insides. "You gotta eat quick though, Jess is picking us up at 5:30."
True to expectations, Jacob wolfed down the chicken I sat in front of him while I munched on leftover roasted potatoes for dinner since I wasn't in the mood for much else. Why yes, I am indeed a paragon of health, why do you ask?
"Maybe if I keep eating I'll turn into the super bear," Jacob joked around a mouthful, and I threw back my head and laughed at the absurdity.
We chatted easily for the next few minutes, then Jacob surprised me by standing up a few seconds before a car honked from the driveway.
I shrugged it off, glancing at my watch. "Good timing! That must be Jess. You ready?" Jacob grinned at me, gathering up my hand and I half-followed, half-ran behind him as he pulled me towards the door. I managed to snag my rain jacket before we stepped out, and I locked up, feeling the excitement building higher and higher at the prospect of a night out with Jacob and my friends.
To my surprise it wasn't Jessica's Rav-4 but Mikes' suburban in my driveway. Jacob made a face.
"Oh, ew."
"What?" I laughed, looking at him as we walked down the pathway from my front door.
"I remember this guy," he said in a low voice. "The one who thought you were his girlfriend. Is he still confused?"
I couldn't help but snort at that, and Jacob grinned at me. I headed towards the back of the car but the passenger door swung out before I could get there.
"Jump in, Bella!" Mike called, and I stifled an eye roll. Of course. I smiled apologetically at Jacob but he just grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh, thanks, dude! My legs would have been cramped as hell sitting in the back," Jacob said enthusiastically, jumping into the passenger seat as if he hadn't heard what Mike said. I turned my head to hide my smirk and got into the back seat next to Jessica. Angela and to my great surprise, Lauren and Tyler were in the farthest back seat. Guess Lauren wouldn't have been caught dead missing a movie night with the crew even if it did involve me, and it seemed that she'd dragged Tyler along for the ride as well.
"Hey everybody!" I said cheerfully as we buckled up. "Do you guys remember Jacob Black? I think you all met him at the beach party last year."
A chorus of hello's echoed from the car and Jake beamed his one-hundred watt smile at everybody, happy as a clam.
I pointedly avoided Mike's sour pout in the rear view mirror while Jacob chatted animatedly at him about some sports team they both liked. Even Mike couldn't resist Jacob's sunny disposition for long. By five minutes into the drive to Port Angeles they were deep in the world of stats and trading.
"Where is Ben today?" Lauren was asking Angela as I tuned back in to the conversation.
"He has the stomach flu," she replied sadly, and I hummed in sympathy. "Hopefully it's just one of those twenty-four hour things. He was really sick last night," she frowned worriedly.
"Damn, that really sucks. Guess the flu is making its rounds again, I think Austin and Connor were out with it today." She thought for a moment. "Weren't you guys supposed to go on a picnic or hike yesterday?" Jessica asked, acting as sympathetic as she could while making sure her nail polish wasn't chipped in too many places.
"Yeah, we were going to go hiking but we changed our minds," Angela seemed more hesitant than usual, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. "We drove up north, almost to the hot springs. There's a really good spot about a mile up the trail… but when we were halfway there we saw something."
"Saw something? What?" Lauren asked, frowning incredulously.
"I… I don't know," Angela said. "We think it was a bear. It was black, anyway… but it was huge ."
Lauren snorted. "Oh, not you too! Tyler tried to sell that crap to me last week." Her voice was a touch too mocking to be polite, and I couldn't help but shoot her a scowl for being so rude to Angela. Tyler scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief that Lauren was throwing him under the rug.
"Yeah, I doubt you'd see any bears that close to the resort," Jessica sided with Lauren, and I felt my annoyance grow.
"Really, we did see it!" Angela protested in a low voice, looking down at her hands in her lap. Lauren snickered, shaking out her hair.
"No, she's right," I cut in impatiently. "We just had a hiker last night in the store saying he saw something just like that. He said it was huge, and pitch black right outside of town, didn't he, Mike?"
Mike glanced at me in the rearview mirror in surprise. "Uh… s-sure. Yeah, that's right, he did." He thought for a moment. "Yesterday the guy was saying he saw a huge black bear right at the trailhead- was it Bogachiel? Yeah, I think it was. He said it was bigger than a grizzly, which just seems crazy but… He was convinced," Mike shrugged, musing over it as if he hadn't given it any thought yesterday.
"I told you," Tyler whispered pettily to Lauren, who humphed and shrugged.
Jacob laughed. "Dude, can you imagine a black bear bigger than a grizzly?! That'd be insane! I bet it could fight Mothra."
"Oh, come on! No way!" Mike protested in spite of himself, and they proceeded to launch into another detailed debate on comic book characters and their various strengths and weaknesses.
Lauren scoffed. "Well ,whatever. Jess, did you hear back from USC?" Jessica was immediately caught up in a discussion about her early application decisions from the various colleges she applied to, and I listened with a vague sense of trepidation that made the old wound in my chest slightly ache. I would have to apply to colleges soon, leave Forks…
What if he can't find me again?
The intrusive thought came before I could stop it, and I clenched my jaw, shoving it out of my mind. It didn't matter if Edward could find me. He didn't care about me anymore. He wanted to live a life free from worrying about me and that was just fine by me. No skin off my back.
I ignored the aches of sadness in my chest, and chimed in a few times about different colleges and their pros and cons. I found myself unwittingly shying away from colleges that were too far, some secret part of me not wanting to be too far… just in case…
Stop it. He doesn't miss you. I scolded myself again, sighing internally. It seemed I still had quite some healing to do.
Maybe I needed to face it once and for all? Maybe I needed to truly rip off the band aid and then I'd be able to fully move on? Why had it been months and I was still relapsing back into my sadness?
My more morose train of thoughts were interrupted as we finally arrived at the movie theater and piled out of the car, stretching our limbs briefly before heading inside. Angela stepped quicker so she was next to me.
"Thank you," she said quietly, and I looked at her curiously.
"What for?"
"For sticking up for me back there."
I smiled, linking my arm with hers. "No problem, girl. I got you."
She returned the smile and I squeezed her arm, looking up in time to meet Jacob's warm gaze. I grinned back at him, excited to have this time out with my friends.
We picked our concessions, and Jacob and I debated popcorn sizes. I finally let him get the biggest size, admitting he did eat way more than me. I picked a buncha crunch while Jacob laughed and called me an addict. I glared at him, munching purposefully on them out of spite and rattling the box in his face, causing him to spit out a few popcorn he'd just shoved in his mouth.
I somehow managed to maneuver myself so I was sitting between Angela and Jacob. I tried not to notice Mike's sulking look as he was forced to sit between Jessica and Tyler, with Lauren as far from me as possible. Win! As the lights finally turned down for the movie, I felt Jacob shift so his arm was around me, and I caught Angela's smug grin and wink from the corner of my eye. I scowled back at her, feeling my face heat up in its typical blush.
Best friend! Best friend! Best friend!
The movie was raucously funny, and even had us wiping tears from our eyes at parts. Jacob had to shove his face in his jacket a few times so he wouldn't disrupt the theatre with his laughter. Even Lauren was laughing, that's how funny the movie was.
Just as the credits started rolling I heard a groan and looked over to see Mike leaning forward with his head in his hands. He moaned again and a couple sitting in front of us turned around to look at him in annoyance. I could see a sheen of sweat on his face. He got up with a muttered excuse and practically ran out, and I turned and asked Jessica across from Jacob in a whisper what was going on with him. She shrugged, and I sighed, getting up to follow him.
"Where you going Bells?" Jacob whispered, and I explained what was going on. Jacob started to stand up, too.
"I'm just gonna go see if he's okay, you don't have to come," I said. Angela stood up, too.
"I'll come, too," she said softly.
Once Jess saw that we were getting up to leave she sighed, and asked Lauren and Tyler if they were coming. We all filed out of the movie theatre, and I glanced around trying to find Mike.
"God, that movie was so funny!" Jacob chuckled, and Angela agreed heartily with him.
"It was alright," I heard Lauren sigh to Jess, who looked like she wanted to agree with Angela but kept her mouth shut.
There was no sign of Mike in the hallway, and I was glad Jacob and everyone had decided to join me when he ducked into the men's bathroom to check for him there.
Jacob was back in a few seconds.
"Oh he's in there alright," he smirked, rolling his eyes. "The movie wasn't even gory."
"Oh shush, Jake, he's probably sick," I admonished him gently. He went to sit on the velveteen upholstered bench against the wall, patting the space beside him. The others were content to chat amongst themselves for a while, so I gave in and joined him. I caught Jessica giving me a sly, knowing smile when I sat down with him, and I narrowed my eyes at her in mock outrage.
"He sounded like he was going to be in there for a while," he said, stretching his long legs out in front of him while he settled in to wait. He shifted to put an arm around me, and I felt a blush steal over my cheeks. I wasn't sure if I should pull away and set boundaries, or just enjoy the warm contact of his arm around me.
"Now, Bella," Jacob began, and instantly his tone had my guard up. "Tell me something."
I felt my heart trip and land somewhere in my throat. "Yeah?"
"You like me, right?"
"You know I do." Thump thump thump . My heart began beating faster and faster.
"Better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" He gestured towards the bathroom.
I scolded him with my eyes, but still said, "Yes."
"Better than any of the other guys you know?" He was calm, serene, as if my answer didn't matter, or he already knew what it was.
"I mean… yeah. Better than the girls, too," I added with a wry smile.
"But that's all," he said, and it wasn't a question.
My heart was beating a frantic tattoo, trying to leap out of my chest. I swallowed, feeling my face flush, and I glanced surreptitiously at the group. Jess gave me a sneaky thumbs up, and Angela winked at me.
"I… Jacob… you're my best friend," I murmured, my voice cracking.
I was surprised when he grinned down at me. "So 'yes'. That's okay, you know. As long as you like me the best; and you think I'm good looking, sort of." He chuckled. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent."
"Jake… I'm not going to change," I said, trying to keep the sadness from my voice but failing.
His face was thoughtful, no longer teasing. "It's still the other one, isn't it?"
His blunt words shocked me, briefly. I watched as Tyler moseyed into the men's restroom to check on Mike, trying to find my words.
"It's… it's more complicated, Jake. I… you're my best friend. I can't lose you," my lips pursed in a moue of displeasure at the thought.
"That's alright, you don't have to talk about it," he said kindly. "But don't get mad at me for hanging around, okay? Cause I'm not giving up. I've got loads of time, and you're going to feel better one day."
My hands trembled with the emotions coursing through me, so I shoved them between my knees to trap them and keep them still. Jacob was laying out exactly what the darker part of me had been daydreaming about for weeks now. I knew it was foolish to indulge the fantasy, and I worked the words I didn't want to say onto my tongue.
"You shouldn't waste it on me," I said, while inside my mind was screaming. Say yes!
"It's what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me." The words were an echo of what I'd heard last year. The lie. So long as you need me here.
"I can't imagine how I could not like being with you," I admitted, allowing myself this one weakness. I needed Jacob. That was a truth I couldn't hide.
Jacob beamed. "I can live with that."
I chewed on my next words, trying to find a way to get myself out of the corner I'd unwittingly backed myself into. Needing Jacob, not wanting to ruin what we had.
Not being over him, yet.
The bitter truth swirled inside of my chest, causing it to ache again. That ugly fact was still a major problem, and I wouldn't be selfish and ignore it. If I didn't have Jacob, god only knows how I would have survived these last months.
"Hmm, that's a funny scar you have there," Jacob interrupted my stream of thought, with unfortunately the only other topic in existence I couldn't talk to him about. "How did that happen?" I glanced down as he swiped his thumb over the pale crescent shaped scar on my hand and grimaced.
"Damn kitchen knives," I tried to play it off, the memory of my screams replaying in my head.
"It's cold," he murmured, pressing his hand into the scar to warm it up. The heat felt wonderful.
At that moment, Mike stumbled out of the bathroom ashen faced and covered in sweat, supported by Tyler who looked less than pleased to have earned the privilege.
"Oh, Mike," I gasped, standing up quickly. Angela and Jess echoed me, and Lauren scrunched up her nose in distaste.
"Can one of you drive?" he whispered, voice scratchy.
"Yeah, I got you, bro," Tyler sighed.
"What's wrong, Mike?" Jessica fluttered over him, concern making her voice higher in pitch than normal.
"I was feeling a little nauseous before the movie, but I was hoping it'd pass," Mike groaned, not looking too displeased at the attention.
"Hold on," Jacob released my hand and jogged back to the concession stand. I heard him ask for the girl working for an extra large popcorn bucket, and she fluttered her eyelashes at him prettily before jumping to fulfill his request. I scowled at her.
Tyler towed Mike out into the cool air while all of us filed after them. Mike got the passenger seat this time, and Jacob sat in the way back between Angela and I. He stretched his feet out between the first two back seats to Lauren's annoyance.
We drove with the windows rolled down so the icy cold air would help Mike. I huddled up to Jacob, and couldn't even blame Angela for leaning towards him slightly. He had more than enough warmth to go around.
"Cold again?" He asked me, squeezing his arm around me.
"You're not?"
He shook his head.
"You must have a fever or something," I grumbled, shivering again. I watched Angela subtly move her leg closer to Jake's. She was shivering, too.
"Oh alright, c'mere little sister," Jacob laughed, wrapping his other arm around Angela and we both laughed. "You poor things!"
I watched Lauren glare daggers at us subtly, and I was glad Mike was too busy being sick or he probably would have said something rude.
"Jake you do feel like you're burning up," I said with worry, touching the backs of my fingers to his forehead. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"I feel fine," he chirped. "Fit as a fiddle." I frowned, touching his forehead again. "Your hands are like ice," he complained.
"Yeah, maybe it's me," I allowed. "My circulation sucks."
"Mine too!" Angela agreed, pressing her cheek against Jake's chest. I tried not to feel too jealous. It'd mollified me when Jacob called her little sister .
Mike groaned in the passenger seat, and threw up in the bucket. We all tried to hide the disgusted faces we were making, though Lauren made a show of fanning herself and leaning towards the window.
The drive somehow felt longer on the way back.
Jacob was quiet and thoughtful for the rest of the ride, and his warmth was so effective that the cold wind started to feel good.
I stared out of the window, consumed with guilt.
It was so wrong to encourage Jacob, to follow my own selfish wants and desires when the truth was I was broken. He had helped me so much, but the fact of the matter was I wasn't over Edward, and hearing his voice only proved that. Jacob deserved better than someone who was broken.
But how could I explain it to him in a way that made sense? So he would understand? I felt like an empty shell, sometimes. No amount of investment on his part in either time or effort would put me back together, it felt.
Yet, I was lying to myself if I said I would ever push him away. I needed him too much, and I was selfish. Maybe I could make my state of being more clear to him, and he would leave me. That thought made me shudder in horror, and Jacob tightened his arm around me. I felt my heart swell at the gesture, and tears pricked at the backs of my eyes. I didn't deserve him.
Tyler dropped Jessica off first, then Angela. When it was our turn, I thanked him and told Mike I hoped he felt better soon. We climbed out of the car and watched them pull away.
"I would invite myself in since it's kinda early, but I think you might be right about that fever, actually," Jacob said. "I'm starting to feel a little strange."
"Oh, no, Jacob. Not you too!" I fussed, reaching up to touch his forehead again. "Do you want me to drive you home?"
"No," he shook his head, a deep frown on his face. "I don't feel sick yet just… wrong. Like, kinda weird. I dunno. If I have to I'll pull over."
"Will you call me as soon as you get in?" I asked anxiously, a pit forming in my stomach.
"Sure, sure." He stared ahead at the formless darkness of the woods, biting his lip. I went to grab my bag at my feet to head inside but he grabbed my wrist lightly and held me there. I noticed again how hot his skin felt on mine.
"What is it, Jake?" I asked, my heart suddenly tripping in my chest again.
"There's something I want to tell you, Bella, but I'm afraid it'll sound kind of corny."
Surprised at the turn of the conversation, I looked at him curiously. "Okay, go ahead."
Jacob seemed to steel himself, then the words started flowing out.
"I know these last few months have been tough for you, Bella, and I know you're still unhappy a lot, but I want you to know that I'm always here for you, okay? I won't ever let you down—I promise that you can always count on me." He frowned. "Wow... that sounds really corny… but you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?" his eyes blazed into mine when I glanced up at him, and I nodded, chewing the inside of my cheek. I wasn't sure where this was coming from, but his words had my insides flip flopping in an uproar.
"Of course, Jake, I know that. And I already do count on you… probably more than you know," I admitted quietly.
A smile broke across his face the way the sunrise set the clouds on fire, and I wanted to cut my tongue out. I hadn't said one word that was a lie, but I should have lied. The truth was wrong; it would only hurt him. I would let him down. I couldn't promise that I'd be whole enough to give him any piece of me besides the friendship we already shared. I found myself wishing that he was my brother, my flesh-and-blood brother so that I would have some sort of claim on him, rather than this selfish need. I'd used him as a crutch throughout my recovery, and I was in deeper than I'd ever planned on going with anyone for a long time, if ever. Now I couldn't bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn't keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was most likely wrong, I also knew I would let him try. I scowled at my own selfishness, glaring away into the darkness at the unfairness of the situation.
A strange look crossed his face. "I really think I'd better go home now." His voice sounded strained slightly.
"Call me tomorrow?" I asked nervously, and Jake nodded in answer.
"Bye honey," he sighed, giving me one last searching look, his face so close to mine that my breath hitched, before finally getting into his car. I watched him drive away until I couldn't see him anymore, my mind swirling in turmoil and worry.
I trudged inside, my heart heavy with unnamed emotions. Jacob was my best friend, and I would always love him, but I felt I would never be whole enough for him.
I went inside to sit by the phone and chew my nails.
"You're home early," Charlie remarked in surprise when I walked in. He was on the floor barely a foot away from the TV. Must be an exciting game.
"Mike got sick," I sighed. "Some kind of stomach flu."
"You okay?"
"I feel fine now," I said, but frowned. Clearly I'd been exposed.
With that happy thought, I leaned against the kitchen counter, my hand twitching inches from the phone, and tried to wait patiently. Jacob's strange expression as he drove away played over in my mind, and I wondered what could be wrong with him. My fingers drummed on the countertop, full of anxiety. I should have offered to drive him home.
I watched the clock as the minutes ticked by. Ten, fifteen. Even when I was driving it only took fifteen minutes, and Jacob drove way faster than I did. Eighteen minutes. My impatience bubbled over. I picked up the phone and dialed.
It rang and rang. And rang. Maybe Billy was asleep? Maybe I'd dialed wrong? I tried again.
On the eighth ring, just as I was about to hand up, Billy answered.
"Hello?" he asked, his voice was wary, like he was expecting bad news.
"Billy, it's me, Bella. Did Jake make it home yet? He left here almost twenty minutes ago."
"He's here," Billy said tonelessly.
"Well, he was supposed to call me," I said, a little irritated. "He was getting sick when he left and I was really worried."
"He was too sick to call. He's not feeling well right now," Billy sounded distant. I realized he must want to be with Jacob.
"Okay, let me know if you need any help," I offered. "I could come down tomorrow?" I thought of Billy, stuck in his chair, and Jacob fending for himself.
"No, no," Billy said quickly. "We're fine. Stay at your place."
The way he said it was almost rude.
"Oh… okay… Well, tell him I hope he feels better soon. Please let me know if I can do anything to help," I bit my lip, consumed with anxiety for Jacob.
"Bye, Bella."
The line disconnected.
"Bye," I muttered to no one, officially peeved at Billy. Even if Jake was sick there was no reason for him to be so rude and short with me.
Unsurprisingly, I didn't feel any less worried as I trudged upstairs, my mind racing through the different possibilities. Was it even possible to get sick that quickly after being exposed to someone with the stomach flu?
Well, at least Jacob had made it home. Maybe I would go down tomorrow with some soup or a casserole so they didn't have to cook for themselves.
All such plans went fabulously out the window when I woke in a cold sweat at 4:30 am the following night. I sprinted to the bathroom as I felt the metallic taste hit my mouth, and promptly emptied my guts into the toilet.
Charlie found me there a half hour later, lying on the floor with my cheek pressed against the cold edge of the bathtub.
He looked at me for a long moment.
"Stomach flu?" he finally said.
"Yes," I moaned.
"You need anything?"
"Call the Newtons for me, please," I instructed hoarsely. "Tell them I have what Mike has, and ask them if he's feeling any better at all."
"Sure. You got it," Charlie assured me.
I spend the rest of the day on the bathroom floor, sleeping for a few hours with my head ona crumpled up towel. Charlie claimed he was called into work, but I suspected that he just wanted access to a bathroom. He left a glass of water on the floor beside me to help me keep hydrated.
The door slamming shut when he came home woke me up, and I could see that it was dark outside of the bathroom window. He clumped up the stairs to come check on me.
"Still alive?"
"Marginally," I sighed.
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm alright, thank you."
He hesitated, clearly out of his element. "O-okay then." He went back down to the kitchen.
I heard the phone ring a few minutes later, and my heart rose a bit. Maybe it was Jacob feeling better? Charlie spoke to someone in a low voice for a few moments, then hung up.
"Mike feels better," he called up to me, and I tried to quash my disappointment.
At least that was encouraging. He'd only gotten sick about eight hours before me, so… eight more hours to go.
The thought made my stomach turn, and I pulled myself up to lean over the toilet.
I fell asleep on the towel again, but when I woke up I was in my bed and it was light outside my window. I didn't remember moving; Charlie must have carried me to my room. He'd also put the glass of water on my bedside table. I felt parched. I took tiny sips to prevent upsetting my stomach even though I wanted to gulp it down.
I got up with exaggerated slowness, not wanting to trigger any nausea again. I felt weak, and my mouth tasted foul, but my stomach felt alright, if aching from hunger. I looked at my clock.
My twenty-four hours were up.
I didn't push my luck, though, eating nothing but saltine crackers for breakfast. Charlie looked relieved to see me recovered.
As soon as I was sure that I wasn't going to have to spend the day on the bathroom floor again, I called Jacob.
He was the one who answered, but when I heard his greeting I knew he wasn't over it.
"Hello?" his voice was broken, cracking.
"Oh, Jake," I cooed sympathetically. "You sound horrible."
"I feel horrible," he whispered.
"I'm so, so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."
"Nah, I'm glad I went," he whispered. "Don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault."
"Well, you'll get better soon," I promised. "I woke up this morning and I was a lot better."
"You were sick?" he asked dully, but there was still a note of concern there.
"Yeah, I was making friends with the bathroom floor all day yesterday, but I'm all good now."
"That's good." His voice was dead.
"You'll probably be better in a few hours. Hang in there!" I encouraged.
I could barely hear his answer. "I don't think I have the same thing that you did."
"Don't you have the stomach flu?" I asked, confused.
"No… this is… something else."
"What's wrong?" my voice rose with my worry.
"Everything," he whispered. "Every part of me hurts."
The pain in his voice was nearly tangible.
"Oh, Jake, what can I do? What can I bring you?"
" Nothing . You can't come here," he was abrupt. It reminded me of Billy the other night.
"But I've already been exposed to whatever you have," I pointed out.
"I'll call you when I can. I'll let you know when you can come down again," he insisted.
"Jacob…"
"I've got to go," he croaked with sudden urgency.
"Okay… promise me you'll call me when you feel better."
"Right," he agreed, but his voice had a strange, bitter edge.
He was silent for a moment. I was waiting for him to say goodbye, but he waited too. Both of us seemed balanced on a knife's edge, unsure of which way we were going to fall.
"I'll see you soon," I finally said, my voice small and not a little hurt. I was so worried and I couldn't understand what could possibly be keeping me from seeing him.
"Wait for me to call," he insisted again.
"Okay… bye Jacob."
"Bella…" he whispered my name, his voice pained. Then, the line went dead.