Chapter 8: A hopeless place

Sabrina Morningstar looked at herself in the mirror. A sad smile crossed her red lips, but she held it back and it only lasted less than second.

That night, before dinner, she would make an announcement that would surely shock many.

Especially her dear old dad.

Now her smile grew wider as she thought about what his reaction would be. A kind of sordid pleasure filled her.

She was sure no one was expecting this move from her. They all thought she was ignorant of their plans. But they were wrong.

She smoothed the skirt of her black dress and took a deep breath before leaving her room.

Her footsteps echoed down the empty hall as she made her way to the antechamber where her guests were waiting for her arrival.

She hated them all.

She waited behind the double door until one of the palace's minions announced her presence to her guests. When the doors opened, everyone bowed their heads towards her as a sign of respect. Everyone, except for Lucifer who was staring at her as if he knew she had a plan and he didn't like it. She entered in the room with regal steps, the others raised their heads only when she stopped walking. Sabrina cleared her throat to get their attention.

It was time.

"Before we got to the dining room," she started to say, her eyes surveying the room. Looking at all the faces, looking at all the fake smiles "I have an announcement to make."

The courtiers looked at her expectantly, some muttered under their breath, wondering what their queen wanted to tell them. Others waited in respectful silence.

"I'm getting married." Sabrina said, she could see confusion on some faces, surprise on others, and barely contained anger on Lucifer's.

"And who is the lucky groom, Your Highness?" Beelzebub asked, although, from the arrogant smile on his lips she suspected he already knew the answer.

"Prince Caliban."

The murmurs grew louder, some seemed outraged, others pleased with the news.

Caliban walked over her but he was passed by Lucifer. He glared at his future father-in-law.

"Let me congratulate you, daughter." He said placing his hands on Sabrina's bare shoulders, his fingers digging into her pale skin painfully but she didn't change her serene facial expression. He leaned closer, as if he was hugging her, only to whisper in her ear "Have you gone mad, child?"

She kept her smile facing the crowd.

"None of that, father. I only do what is necessary to protect my crown."

He pulled away from her, defiance shone in Sabrina's eyes. Anger in his.

"You and I are going to talk later." Lucifer said under his breath.

Her smile only grew.

"I can't wait." She answered sarcastically.

Caliban continued walking towards her, he put one of his hands around her waist. He seemed extremely pleased because he was getting what he wanted. Some of the courtiers approached to the couple to extend their congratulations on their imminent wedding, she replied to their well wishes with a false smile.

"Why don't we have dinner?" Sabrina asked to her guests some minutes later, tired of all the fake smiles and compliments. She returned her attention to Lucifer "I think it's up to you to escort me to the dining room, father."

He reluctantly offered his arm to her.

Dinner was as boring as they always were, the hours in which plate after plate was brought from the kitchen to delight the palates of those presents seemed eternal to her. She barely touched her food.

But the wine flowed freely. And there were not a few aristocrats who dedicated their toasts to the future bride and groom. She suspected that more than one of the demons present was frankly drunk. Even she felt a bit dizzy, because of the improvised speeches and compliments or because of the wine, she was not sure.

When it was finally time for her to retire to her chambers Sabrina sighed in relief.

She needed to be alone. At least for a few hours.

She let her maids help her out of her elaborate dress and corset, the delicacy of her silk camisole against her skin make her sigh.

Now that the aristocracy knew about her marriage she was sure the news was traveling fast throughout Pandemonium, reaching even the farthest circles of Hell, by the time she woke up the next morning everyone, demon or soul, would know of her impeding wedding.

She didn't feel a quota of enthusiasm about it.

When she was a little girl and Roz and her thought about their dream wedding day, it was nothing like what would happen now. She would not have her aunts or her cousin or her best friends by her side… She barely tolerated the groom.

She wished he was someone else.

She wasn't getting married for love as she always wished. She was marrying for power.

She had done so many things for power.

Sabrina was about to climb onto her bed when her bedroom door was slammed open.

She must have suspected this would happen, what's more, she was surprised that he had taken so long to go there to demand explanations from her.

"Have you lost your mind, child?!"

Sabrina looked at Lucifer with a raised eyebrow, she crossed her arms over her chest in a clearly defensive attitude.

"No. I haven't."

"So what explanation do you have for wanting to marry? And with that piece of clay no less!"

"I have my reasons, not that they are any of your business, father."

The door slammed shut behind Lucifer, he didn't want or was going to tolerate interruptions. His nostrils flared and his fists were clenched tightly. He was furious.

"If you have so little appreciation for your crown, why don't you give it back to me?"

"It's precisely because I appreciate my crown that I am doing this. I'm well aware of your plans, father. You should be more discreet about your ambitions."

"If you just stop making stupid decisions…"

"Stupid decisions? Really? Wanting to reform this place is a stupid decision?"

"You were supposed to rule alongside me. But all you do is not listen to me!"

"I am my own person, I'm not a puppet you can be moving around at your will." She replied, her voice also rising "You wanted me to be queen, now you can't expect me not to act like one."

"If I wanted to… I could kill you as easily as you kill a fly." Lucifer threatened her, fury shinning in his eyes.

She laughed sardonically.

"Try it, father." She answered with scathing voice. Something inside of her told her he wouldn't be able to kill her so easily. Not anymore.

He glared at her. That girl was going to be the ruin of the Morningstar.

"You, shameless girl. You are going to ruin yourself. You are going to ruin us."

"If it is going to be like that, it will be because I decided so."

"He is going to try to take your power away. He could try to kill you in your sleep for all I know."

"He can try, yes, but you underestimate me, father."

"Stupid girl. I'm ashamed to be your father" he said before leaving the room in the same hasty manner in which he had entered.

Sabrina snorted, fury coursing through her veins with the intensity of burning lava.

"And I'm ashamed to be your daughter." She told to the empty room.

She rang the bell that was on her nightstand and she rarely used. One of her maids appeared almost immediately, her head bowed towards the queen.

"Tell Prince Caliban that his presence is required in my chambers. Immediately."

The maid nodded her head still bowed when she left the room to fulfill her mistress's request.

Sabrina's temper didn't improve as she waited for him to appear.

How dare Lucifer to question her actions? Especially when he knew she was doing it just because he was trying to overthrow her.

She needed to find a way to get rid of him.

Sabrina smiled, an idea started to form in her mind.

"Did you call for me, my queen?" Caliban asked her entering in the room without knocking, he didn't have time to ask anything else before Sabrina's lips were on his.

The way she kissed him was almost violent but he didn't seem to care. What's more, the way he tightened her waist told her that he was actually enjoying it.

She felt his lips slide down her neck and a brief moan escaped from her lips as she straddled him in the bed.

When she opened her eyes, it wasn't Caliban's eyes the ones she saw. Her hands were no longer in his blond hair but instead were running through some dark curls she knew very well.

It wasn't his lips the ones she was kissing. It wasn't his lips the ones she longed for.

Nick.

She felt Caliban's hand slide down the curve of her thigh.

Sabrina pulled away. She couldn't do that.

"Stop!" she said when he tried to bring her closer to him.

She couldn't do that. She couldn't do it when it was someone else her heart and body yearned for.

Nick.

"What happens?"

"Leave." She ordered him getting off from his lap. She put some distance between them.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Leave." Sabrina demanded with a slow cold tone "Now."

"What's wrong? Virgin's nerves?" he asked, a smug smile on his lips.

"Shut up." She replied crossing her arms but that was a mistake because that only drew his lusty gaze to her cleavage "Just go. Now. This was a mistake; I should never have called you."

He brought his hand up to her chin.

"You know you can't keep denying me forever." Caliban told her "You cannot keep denying what is between us."

"There is nothing between us." She replied avoiding his gaze.

"And still you called me."

"It was a mistake that I'm rectifying." Sabrina insisted "Go away, Caliban, go before I take you out of here by force."

"You wouldn't do that to your future husband."

She looked at him with a frown. She was being serious.

"Leave. Now!" her voice was cold as ice.

He stroked her bare arm as he walked toward the door unaffected by her words.

Sabrina hid her face in her hands. What was wrong with her?

She knew she had been about to do something stupid, very stupid. Getting carried away by anger wasn't a good decision. It never was.

And now, her heart ached more than her pride.

For the first time in a long time she allowed herself to cry.

Nick. She missed him so much. Even when she tried not to she couldn't help but continue loving him.

Prudence was sitting on the edge of Agatha's bed absently brushing her sister's hair before braiding it in her usual braids.

Agatha's mind was still a tangled mess she couldn't quite reach. She suspected that she was even worse after all those weeks with Blackwood but there was no way they would know until the next morning, for now her sister needed to rest.

Her sister. Her only sister.

The weird sisters had always been more powerful together, if Dorcas were there maybe the two of them would be able to bring Agatha back but Dorcas was no longer with them. She was gone forever… dead. And despite having one of her sisters back, Prudence could still feel an emptiness in her chest she knew nothing could ever fill.

She looked at her sister, she hadn't said a word while Prudence bathed and dressed her, Agatha looked like a broken doll. Lifeless. And it hurt her to see her like that.

It hurt a lot.

If only she could do something. She was willing to do anything for her, to sacrifice everything if it meant having Agatha, the real Agatha, back.

Prudence's hands stroked her sister's hair one last time before helping her into bed, she arranged the covers around her before sitting again in the edge of the bed. She continued looking at her as she fell asleep.

She couldn't help but think about what kind of demons populated her sister's dreams.

"You should go to bed too, love."

Her back stiffened when she heard the affectionate word. She had never been someone's love.

It never ceased to amaze her how openly loving Hilda Spellman was to everyone. Although she knew she was also deadly when she wanted to be, after all, it was Hilda who killed sister Jackson after she didn't stop bothering Zelda.

The Spellmans were fiercely loyal to those they loved. Of that she had no doubts.

"I think I'm going to stay here tonight, sister Spellman."

"None of that, miss. You need to take a warm bath and rest." The older woman insisted. Prudence had been there helping her since they returned from the mines "go to rest, I'll take care of these little lambs for the rest of the night."

She opened her mouth to protest but Hilda stopped her.

"Go to rest, Prudence." Hilda insisted in a soft but firm tone that left her no choice but to obey her.

She had never had a mother but she thought that that was how they should sound. Without being truly aware of it, she nodded.

"You can relieve me tomorrow morning if you want."

She nodded again, she would like that, she looked at her sister one last time before leaving the room.

She decided to take the bath Hilda had suggested. The water was warm and helped to relieve the tension that still remained in the muscles of her body.

But she couldn't stop thinking.

Now that it was all over and her father was imprisoned in a cell deep within the dungeons of the Academy all she had to do was worry about finding a cure for Agatha's state. She was sure there must be one somewhere and she didn't care if she had to travel the world again in order to find it.

She was going to. She was going to cure her sister.

She was walking towards her bedroom without really paying attention to her surroundings, tired now that events of the night had finally caught her, so she didn't notice him until it was too late to try to avoid him.

"Prudence."

"Ambrose." She replied in a neutral tone of voice when she looked up.

He didn't really know what to say to her, he put his hands in the pockets of his pants. And waited for her to talk but she didn't.

"How is Agatha?" he finally asked when the silent was to uncomfortable to continue bearing it.

"The same."

Ambrose nodded.

"I don't know if there is a way for her to go back to who she was." Prudence admitted in a rare moment of vulnerability, she didn't look at him, now her eyes were fixed in the floor. Ambrose wanted nothing more than to lift her chin and get a look of her dark eyes.

"We can try." He offered and she finally looked at him "I could help you, to find a cure for your sister."

"You would do that… for me?"

He wanted to tell her that he would be willing to do anything for her. The feeling was strange, so sudden and at the same time so true.

But he said nothing of this and simply nodded.

"I will help you." He reaffirmed his first statement.

"Thanks, Ambrose. Truly."

"It's the least I can do." He replied with a shrug. She knew what he was talking about. She didn't want to think about that.

They fell in silence again. There were so many things they wanted to say to the other but neither of them dared to take the first step. Not yet.

Not until Agatha was back to her normal self, Prudence told herself.

"I better go." She told him. "It's late."

Ambrose nodded.

"Good night, Prudence."

"Good night, Ambrose."

He watched her disappear down the hall with longing in his gaze and a lot of unsaid feelings burning in his chest.

Nick didn't know what had prompted him to make that decision.

He was tired, mentally exhausted from the events of the night, but he knew that he would be unable to sleep. After all he saw he was sure he won't be able to close his eyes.

He felt on edge after everything that had happened in the mines.

And most of all, he needed to see Sabrina and know that she was well.

So he stayed there, leaning against the closed door of her room, his broad shoulders slightly hunched from exhaustion. He closed his eyes for a moment and continued waiting for her.

"Nick?" he opened his eyes to find her in front of him, her brown eyes denoted concern "is something wrong?"

He denied with his head, his eyes fixed on her.

"I just wanted to check on you… After everything that happened."

A sad smile came to Sabrina's lips.

"I'm fine." She answered but his eyes were no longer fixed on hers but in the delicate skin at the base of her neck still a bit reddened even after Hilda's ministrations. That was the place where the monster's tentacle had adhered to her skin, he couldn't help and reached out his hand as if he wanted to touch her "Nick…?" she said in what sounded more like a sigh.

Her eyes were on his when he finally touched the delicate skin of her neck. Sabrina held her breath. She had missed his touch. So, so much.

There was something unreadable in Nick's eyes.

Something dark. Something warm.

"Nick…?" she half asked when his fingers moved up to her jaw, it was as if he was unable to stop touching her now that he had done it again.

"I can't…" he took a deep breath "I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if… if something happened to you." Sincerity shining in his dark eyes.

She closed her eyes when this thumb gently brushed over her parted lips.

"Nick… please…" she said with her eyes closed, her breath was warm against his fingers. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to move away from her or to end the scarce distance between them.

Sabrina opened her eyes, they reflected the longing she had been tried to keep at bay all those weeks.

There was something undeniable between them. A magnetic pulse that invited them to get closer, something that made them orbit around the other.

"Sabrina…" his voice was as silent as a whisper.

She didn't know which one of them was the one who finally ended the distance between them, she only knew that one second they were looking at each other and the next his lips were on hers. She sighed against his lips. She had missed this.

She had missed him.

Her hands clung to his neck as if she never wanted to let him go, not again. He brought her closer to him and turned them until she was pinned between the closed door of her room and his warm body.

There was nothing tender about the way they kissed.

It was a hungry kiss. A desperate kiss.

And she wanted it to last forever.

One of Sabrina's hand groped behind her back until she found the door handle. She opened the door and lead him inside. His lips never leaving hers.

The door closed with a click behind them, they were no longer in the illuminated corridor but in the semi-darkness of her room. She pulled away slightly to look at him, his lips parted, his hair a mess, he was so handsome.

She kissed him again.

"Sabrina?" he asked moments later but he wasn't sure what he was asking for.

"Don't. Please, don't stop." She almost begged him.

He seemed to understand what she meant. His lips slid down her jaw, down her throat, the tip of his tongue traced with delicately her reddened skin.

She let out a small moan that nothing had to do with the pain.

Nick wanted to lose himself in her. He needed to.

Her hands seemed eager to lose themselves in his curls, to press themselves against the hard muscles of his back, to feel the warmth of his skin against her fingertips.

There was urgency, there was despair, there was desire.

He took her face in his hands, he could see the suffering barely contained in her brown eyes, he caressed her cheeks with a delicacy that contrasted with the urgency of his lips. Nick knew the right thing to do was to stop that madness before it was too late, before they went too far, but he couldn't find the strength on him to do so.

He didn't want to stop. She didn't want him to stop.

Nick returned to claim her lips, his hands still on her cheeks, and then on her neck, under her blouse touching the soft skin of her abdomen and her breasts.

She urged him to remove his own shirt after he took off hers, her fingers marveling at all the skin willing to be touched. To be worshiped.

Sabrina gasped in surprise when he grabbed her around the waist and carried her to the bed, almost instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her heart pounding in her ears, her blood rushing on her veins.

"Nick…" she moaned softly "Oh, Nick…"

She was so lost in the feeling of his lips against her skin, in the way his hands ran over her body, but she was also extremely aware of the desperation behind each one of his kisses, each one of his caresses.

"You are so beautiful…" he whispered looking at her, in the darkness of the room only with the pale moonlight as their witness, she looked almost ethereal, her pale skin, her chest rising and falling product of her rapid breathing. Her lips swollen from his kisses, her eyes bright with desire.

So beautiful.

She reached out a hand to touch his cheek and he leaned against the warmth of the palm of her hand, he turned his head slightly to leave a kiss on her skin.

"I love you." She whispered looking into his eyes. She need him to know that she still loved him, that she had never stopped doing so.

He kissed her again with a heat that rivaled the sun's.

When his lips found the sensitive tip of her breasts she arched her back, wanting to continue feeling the sensation so unknown, so new his lips were eliciting in her. She dragged him towards her, her legs parting almost involuntarily to make room for him between them. Sabrina moaned again when she felt him against the most sensitive part of her body, she moved her hips out of instinct, seeking for friction.

And he gave it to her.

Open mouth kisses, skin against skin. Love and despair mixed.

His breath was shaky and his eyes were dark with desire, but there was something else about them that Sabrina couldn't quite describe.

Agony.

He kissed her again. And again. And again.

There was no piece of skin that he didn't kiss. He adored her with his hands and his lips.

She felt on the edge of something she had never felt before, something that she now knew, had secretly been saving for him her whole life. Something that she could only share with Nick.

Sabrina clung tightly to Nick's shoulders when he finally entered in her. It was painful and beautiful and it took her breath away.

He rested his forehead on hers as he waited for her to adjust to him. She felt his warm breath against her parted lips.

She heard him whisper I love you against her ear so softly that for a second she thought she had imagined it.

She kissed him because she didn't know what else to do. Everything was so new. So… intense. Still, she could taste the pain on his mouth, feel the desperation in each one of his thrusts.

He was desperate, he was scared. He was so lost.

Her hand ran through his dark curls, she wanted to comfort him, erase all the pain, all the trauma and all the suffering from him but she didn't know how to do it.

So she let her body talk and tell him how much she loved him.

Still, Sabrina could feel how he was slipping through her fingers, something inside her told her that despite being joined in the most intimate way they could, she was going to lose him and she didn't know what to do to stop it. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, as if she wanted to merge with him. Be part of him.

As he was a part of her now.

She wished he could never leave. She wished they could stay like this forever.

The force of her own release caught her by surprise, her hands sought for his face, her lips sought for his lips. She kissed him drowning in his mouth the moans that she could no longer contain.

It was a glorious feeling. It was a dreadful feeling.

Her hand cupped his cheeks and she looked at him in the eyes when she told him again "I love you."

It was as if those words ignited something inside of him, as if they unleashed something that was hidden within him. His movements became less careful, less delicate. More desperate.

His hand reached between their bodies, touching her, even lost in his own pleasure he wanted to make her feel good again.

He hid his face in the curve of her neck when he finally found release.

They stayed like that, still together, him still inside her, for what seemed like an eternity. She ran her fingers absently through his hair, his head on her chest. He sighed and left a kiss on her neck and other, and other.

Reluctantly he pulled away from her, she felt an emptiness she had never felt before, Sabrina thought that he would leave, that he would tell her that everything that had happened had been nothing more than a mistake.

But he didn't do any of that. Nick kissed her slowly before pulling her close to his body, his arms around her, her head cradled against his chest, she could heard the fast beating of his heart.

The tiredness of what they had just done, of what they had lived that night, caught up with her. Her eyelids felt heavier and heavier. She didn't want to fall asleep, she wanted to continue feeling how his fingers traced figures on her back, but sleep finally overcame her.

Nick stayed awake watching her sleep, her small body pressed against his, he could feel her heart beating against his, she snuggled closer to him in her sleep.

He loved her. He loved her so much.

And because he loved her, he had to go.

Nick needed to heal before he could be, if she ever wanted him back, with her again.

Careful not to wake her, he got out of bed and took a blanket and covered her with it. He left a soft kiss in her forehead before he put on his clothes and left the room without making a sound.

When Sabrina woke up the next morning she immediately noticed the absence of his warmth arm around her waist, of his chest under her head.

Nick was nowhere to be found.

"Nick…?" she called even if she knew he was no longer there.

She felt her heart contracting in a painful way. Even before looking at her hand she knew.

Sabrina could feel the palm of her hand burning, when she looked at it, she saw his handwriting.

I'm sorry, was what he wrote.

A tear fell from her eyes and then another and another.

He was gone.

And he had taken her heart with him, she could feel an emptiness in her chest. Something told her that he was gone forever.

He had left her behind, but instead of anger all she could feel was sadness. Deep down, she knew why he had done it. And she had to respect his decision.

Even when it hurt like nothing she had felt before.

The prospect of living her life without him made more tears fall from her eyes.