Chapter 18

Hello everyone,

Okay so, in the last chapter Edward confessed. This chapter was extremely difficult for me to write because my process for writing anything is to place myself into the characters shoes. I did that here as well, yet it made writing exceedingly difficult. I am hoping that you like the direction of this story and hope you continue to come and read.

*** On another note: In reference to a review, I received on The Favor- I have every intention of finishing this story. I have been delayed to a few projects I am working on. I will get back to that as soon as I am done with DarkStrip. I will have this story written to completion in a matter of a week maybe two at the most. Please be patient … I haven't abandoned any story. Sometimes I do get sidetracked and that is why I have taken most of my stories down until I can get back to them.

*** I want to thank those who come to read this story. I do hope you continue to enjoy it. Love hearing what everyone thinks, but I do try to stay true to the characters as well. Thanks for reading ….

Please review …

Edward's lungs were on fire as he returned Bella's stare. The shock pinching her features pulled at his heart, and she looked on the brink of bolting. Emotion gripped him so hard his nostrils flared, and the muscle near his temple jumped with anticipation. When she didn't speak, he moved a few paces closer yet paused when she abruptly held her hand out and backed away. "Bella, please, let me explain. Shit happened th-that was out of my control …"

Bella shifted nervously as everything she'd come to know crumbled at her feet. This wonderful guy … the person responsible for making her feel as though she were on top of the world … was not the person she'd believed him to be. For the second time in her life, she felt completely duped, and she went utterly numb; her thoughts fuzzy.

Holy shit … From the frying pan right into the fire. How did she keep getting herself into these fucked up situations? She left James because he'd been manipulative, emotionally abusive to herself and Luke, and cheated. When she'd moved into the house across the street from Edward, she'd thought her luck was changing … he'd been so diligent, sweet, and welcoming. Now, he was standing here telling her everything she'd believed was a lie.

Backing toward the door, she shook her head when he strode toward her. Licking dry lips, still flavored by his kiss, her stomach rolled with nausea. Perhaps, she was being unfair … maybe she needed to hear his side of the equation. Her throat felt almost raw as she cleared it, bumping into the screen door, she lifted her head, and a hard glint entered her eye as she studied him. "Tell me it was an accident … Ju-just tell me I'm overreacting … tell me you didn't mean it …"

Edward inched forward, noticing the way her complexion paled as she stared wide-eyed at him. She was begging him to tell her he hadn't meant to kill Jason. Unfortunately, without lying to her once again, he couldn't. "It … it wasn't …"

He broke off and took a deep breath. Having to explain this to anyone was hard, but having to admit it to Bella … fuck.

It turned into an excruciating endeavor. Edward knew—knew before he finished speaking she'd be out that door and across his porch in the blink of an eye. There was no way to prevent that from happening without physically restraining her, and he wasn't a psycho. Inhaling deeply, he pushed forward as he started again, "It wasn't an … a … an accident. B-but …"

"There is no explanation you could ever give that would justify taking someone's life," Bella told him, pushing out the door. When he made to followed, she held a hand up to stop him. "Stop … don't come any closer to me …"

Sharply, she turned and flew across the street so fast Edward didn't think her feet even touched the fucking pavement. He wasn't even sure how long he stood there in the doorway—yet it was long after she entered the house and slammed the door in her wake. The fire in his lungs turned into an inferno, and he felt so fucking lost …

There was no way to fix this. There was no way to explain when a person gave you that look of contempt. He'd known Bella was different from anyone he'd ever met upon their introduction, but the full weight of how much she meant to him didn't even register until her expression twisted.

Suddenly, Edward felt as though he were buried alive, and he was left sifting through the rubble. No matter what he tried to do, he couldn't lift the massive boulder sitting atop his chest and the rock crushing all the air from his body. Everything within him seemed devoid of emotion as he took one last look toward her closed door and slipped back into the house. Hopelessly, he shuffled into the living room, his gaze darting around the empty space.

Moments ago, her warmth had been in his arms, pressed against his length, and he'd been feasting on her perfect lips. Now, he stood there blankly staring at the wall where they'd been. Before he knew what was happening, tears welled in his eyes, as his world came crashing down at his feet.

For the first time since pulling that trigger, Edward had regret, and the longer he contemplated it, the deeper the hole felt. As he'd sought to protect Alice from the terror Jason had put her through, he'd unwittingly destroyed any hope for a future. This was something he'd come to know since receiving that fucking sentence that tainted him.

Since pulling that trigger …

Jesus.

Why had he thought there would've been a possibility for redemption? How long had he been waiting for a chance—a chance to make a new life out of the destruction of his past? Too fucking long, and when he'd finally saw a little tiny hope—just a breath of light at the end of that dark tunnel—it had gone out as if it'd never existed.

As a tear slid down his cheek and dripped off his lip, deflation crushed his inner being. Whatever had been on the verge of rebirth was smothered with that fucking confession. A wealth of emotion welled up within him, and he felt close to bursting. That look in Bella's eye … the unspoken accusations … the horror stealing the passion in one fell swoop.

The back of his hand swiped the tears from his cheek as his jaw clenched. Squaring his shoulders, he shook the deaden weight loose in his chest and turned toward his room. Edward couldn't stand the idea of looking in the direction of her house and knowing he'd destroyed what the hell ever had been brewing between them.

Shoulders slumped in defeat, he hurried to his closet and ripped the door open. He couldn't even see into the space as the light waned as the hour grew late. Yanking several pairs of jeans from hangers, he collected a handful of shirts and boxers from his drawer as he grabbed the bag next to his door. Throwing the clothes into the duffle bag, he zipped it up on his way to the garage, pulling his keys from the hook before jogging out the door to his bike.

Edward threw the strap over his shoulder, pulling his helmet down over his head. He lifted the door and backed out into the drive. He didn't bother to look in the direction of Bella's house, keeping his attention averted as the bike roared to life, and he turned out onto the street.

When he came to the stop sign at the end of the road, he pulled his cell from his pocket and called his dad.

"Dad," he started, clearing his throat. "I'm going to head out to the cabin for a few days or so …"

"Is everything all right, son?" Carlisle's concern for Edward's well-being spiked instantly at the raw sound of his voice. Edward never called for help, usually pushing everything deep down inside until he exploded. Having Edward call him out of the blue like this was a strange occurrence. Sitting up straight in his chair, he pinched the bridge of his nose as he contemplated what could cause this tone. "Edward, tell me what happened …"

Edward shifted on the back of his bike. "The inevitable … What always happens the second I mention …"

Understanding dawned on Carlisle as he pushed free from his desk. Pacing around his office, he asked, "Bella?"

Edward gave a humorless chuckle as his father's speculations hit home. He glared up at the bright blue sky, and his lips pinched against his teeth as he fought the need to scream. "Pfft. Yeah, how the fuck did you guess? I was so stupid … how the fuck did I think she was going to understand … or even let me explain? Same fucked up story … Fuck!"

"Edward, try to calm down. Go out to the cabin and clear your head. I will be there after work, and we'll talk this out. She was just probably stunned," Carlisle reasoned, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack and slipping it on. "We can't blame her for that—she doesn't know the full story, however, and with any luck, she'll give us a chance to explain."

He scoffed as he listened to his dad's sanity. "Dad, I'm not sure I want to explain. You didn't see the look on her face. Something between disgust and bewilderment … Hell, I don't even think there is a name for her expression. I wish … I wish … I hadn't even tried. I feel like someone kicked me right in the mouth."

Carlisle chewed his lip as he listened to the pain in Edward's voice. It was the hardest thing in the world to hear pain coming from your child and having no way to fix it. "Edward, don't think that way … just give it a few days and maybe … maybe …"

"Maybe, what? She'll forget that I confessed I'm a murderer. Or that I spent the last decade in prison." Edward laughed with disbelief. His attention darted to the mirror on his bike as a car braked behind him. "I'll talk to you later. I just wanted to let you know I'm going up to the lake."

X

Bella ran into her house and slammed the door. Breathlessly, she whipped around to stare at it like a monster was chasing her. When shit hit the fan in her life, it hit hard. There was no warning to prevent these catastrophic moments, just fucking BAM, right in her face. Her fingers dove into her hair as she sought to figure out what the fuck just happened.

An hour ago, she'd been optimistic about turning a corner—a great corner … and having someone worth sharing those precious moments with. Now, here she stood as alone as ever, facing the most significant setback she'd ever encountered. On the one hand, her chest constricted with this irrational fear, and on the other, her brain argued she had nothing to fear. She went over the events in her mind, searching for something, anything that could've warned her.

Nothing—she came up with nothing.

Even as she knew this to be true, another wave of nausea seized her. Feeling as if she were going to be sick, her hand settled over her abdomen, trying to quell the urge.

He'd seemed so normal. Maybe detached in some ways, but normal … Just a typical person with ordinary problems—well, she guessed the fuck not.

Bella was still staring at the door when the sounds of his motorcycle penetrated the thick walls. As she listened to the roar of his motor move further away, she nervously shifted on her feet. Disbelieving tears welled up in her eyes, and she sniffed, attempting to fight this intense urge to cry, the need to vomit gripping her again. Her nostrils flared as she beat the sick feeling away.

Charlie's voice behind her caused her shoulders to stiffen as he came out of the kitchen. "Luke and I cleaned the crayon … Bella? What the hell happened?"

Charlie hesitantly moved closer to Bella. As he came into the living room, his daughter turned toward him, and instantly, he became aware of that blank stare in her eyes. It was the look most people got when they heard or saw something they hadn't anticipated. He knew that look better than anyone. He'd spent years being the one to deliver news that inspired the expression that now caused the ashy gray color to tint her cheeks.

Without her uttering a word, he knew this had something to do with her 'neighbor.' He wasn't a fucking idiot. He'd noticed the flash of heat between them when Edward had come by upon his arrival. He'd seen how she glanced toward the windows like she wanted to go somewhere on numerous occasions. Then there was the way she'd snuck off to the movies like he didn't know her 'neighbor' had tagged along. About an hour ago, he'd watched her dart across the street with this look of determination and … desire.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Charlie murmured, hoping to offer comfort. When a person carried that expression, they were in desperate need of comfort. He'd leave the lecture sitting on his tongue for a later date. His hand came to rest on her stiff shoulder, and he gave her a reassuring squeeze.

Anger unexpectedly collided with sadness—Mission accomplished, she no longer felt nauseous, she guessed, biting back a humorless smile. Yanking her arm away from Charlie's grasp, she growled, "Nope … No ghost. Just the fucking truth. I don't know why I'm so stupid."

"'ucking,' Luke repeated as he waddled into the living room with a sponge still in hand.

Releasing a frustrated sigh, she turned to her son, saying, "Baby, don't say that."

"Kay … kay," he shrugged. "Sorry, Mommy."

"Bella, what's going on?" Charlie studied her long and hard. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, he took a shot in the dark. Well, he couldn't call it a shot in the dark when he already knew the answer to the stupidest question in the world. "Does this have something to do with your neighbor?"

"Dad," Bella started with a warning. She'd had enough thrown at her in the last hour. She didn't have in her to hear 'I told you so.' Even though those wouldn't be his words, it would be some variation. "I just … I don't know how … this keeps happening."

Bella felt drained mentally and emotionally. The effect of that confession left her weak. Slowly, she made her way to the sofa and sat on the edge. "I just … I just."

Charlie sat next to Bella. "Bella, I can't help if I don't know what is going on."

"Dad, no offense but you can't help with this," she murmured, shaking her head. No one could help with this. She'd meant what she'd said while facing Edward. Nothing justified taking someone's life. How was she supposed to look past that important fact? "H-he …"

Nervously, Bella chewed on the tip of her thumb as she considered telling her father the awful truth. Of course, if she'd let him do the background check he'd wanted to do days ago, she could've saved herself from this mind-numbing fact. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she whispered, "He w-was in prison."

Charlie visibly rocked in his seat. Of all the things he'd expected her to say, that had not even made the list. When he'd met Edward, he'd seen the concern on the other man's face when he'd thought something was wrong with Bella. There had been a genuine worry in his gaze. Charlie felt compelled to ask the question hanging unspoken between them. "Why? Why was he in prison?"

Bella fixated on the coffee table, but she was sure she saw nothing. All she could currently see was the dread in Edward's eyes as he'd uttered that one word. "Murder."

The hairs on Charlie's arms stood on end. Alarmed to know a murderer resided on this block so close to Bella and his grandson filled him with an immediate need to protect his family. "Bella,Bella, I'll look into this. Don't go getting all worked up, I can't imagine them allowing a dangerous criminal to reside in a neighborhood without warning people. Let me make a few calls. … Yeah, I will be looking around first thing in the morning."

Bella heard her father speaking, but for reasons beyond her control, she couldn't respond. In the background, she heard Luke chattering and her dad fuming as he paced the living room. A tear slid down her cheek, and Bella brushed it angrily away. Not only had she developed feelings and a friendship with Edward over the last few weeks, but also his family. Once again, her stomach pitched involuntarily, and her jaw clenched to stifle the urge to be sick.

How could they have put her in this type of position without warning? And to put her son at risk was unacceptable. Where were people's scruples? No sooner than she had the thought, her phone chimed to life. Lost in a daze, she pulled it from her pocket and stared at Carlisle's name flash on the screen.

"Is that him?"

Bella could feel the tension rolling off Charlie in waves. "No … It's my boss. I ju-just …"

Bella wasn't sure what this call pertained to, but she wasn't in the mood to find out. If he were calling her into work, currently, her state of mind wasn't in it, and if his call had to deal with Edward …

Well, she didn't exactly want to hear about that either. With this thought in mind, she pushed the ignore button.

She was about to toss the phone onto the table when it started ringing again. This time Alice's name flashed on the screen. Annoyed and sad, she bit her bottom lip and pushed the ignore button. Disbelief shuddered through her, and she rose, wiping her hands on her jeans as her fingers turned clammy. "Dad, can you just watch Luke for a sec … I just need some fresh air."

Bella hurried toward the backyard and pushed outside. Staring up at the sky, she wrapped her arms around herself and just looked at the night sky. Funny how life worked out, yet it wasn't even funny in the least, she thought. Still floored by Edward's breaking news, she sat on the first step wishing like hell she hadn't stopped smoking a year ago. At this particular moment, she could so use a cigarette.

All of a sudden, her stomach lurched, and she jumped up from the step. Hurrying across the lawn, she lost the fight, dropping to her knees and retching. Breathing heavily, she stayed there staring into the grass as another tear slid down her cheek.

Charlie listened to the backdoor slam when Bella had rushed outside. Staring at the phone Bella left behind, he wasn't surprised when the screen lit up once more with Alice's name. Curiosity getting the better of him as he reached for Bella's cell.

"Hello."

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