And now, a mere six months in the making, it's time for my boredom-fueled drug trip of a story to continue!
Once they got all of the uncontrollable passion out of their systems a mere seventeen hours later, Demencia and Cherri Bomb walked out of their impromptu love shack and set it on fire for good measure. They both knew there was no greater purpose for any building so why not let it die after hitting the peak of its purpose?
It did not take them long to fly back into the thick of the action as they found a convoy of soldiers driving along a road. One rain of fire and lightning later and the duo had a fun chase on their hands as reinforcements were called in over and over again. In order to spice things up, though, they continually alternated between running away and fighting back to make their pursuers especially confused. This also meant a smattering of civilian casualties with so many cars wrecked, shots fired and bodies being used as blunt instruments.
The duo took solace in how they gave the accidental victims one fantastic show before dying.
Their latest excursion lasted nearly an hour with the back-and-forth finally stopping when they had a literal pile of bodies from all the slaughtered soldiers. The pair admired their handiwork for a few moments before a ring on their PDA brought them out of it.
"Howdy there, bambinas!" greeted Tom once he was onscreen, "I've got a really important job for ya today! Meet me at these coordinates and I'll give y'all the details." He quickly signed off and the two wasted no time following their mark to a pontoon boat floating along a small river through the tropical forests of southeast Panau.
Much to their shock, Jade Tan was also there. "Holy crap, you're still here?" asked Demencia.
"Shouldn't you have amscrayed from this madhouse? I know why Yankee Doodle's still around, but why you?" said a confused Cherri.
Tom laughed at the nickname as he came up with a platter of mojitos for everyone on board. "Don't you get yer panties in a bunch, ladies, Jade here's an informant o' the highest caliber! The whole reason Panay nabbed her like the last slice o' BBQ chicken pizza was because of the juicy intel she's got!"
"Indeed," said the Asian woman, "And my information pertains to the three factions you girls have allied yourselves with."
"Is it finally time to send those fuckers packing?" asked Cherri, guzzling her adult beverage down in two seconds flat, even the ice.
"Not quite. With that latest round of strongholds you captured, all three of the factions are now comfortable to bring in their support."
"'Support?'" wondered Demencia, "Does this mean we get to finally fight aliens?!"
"Afraid not, compadre," said Tom with a chuckle, "But y'all do get to wallop some wanted buckaroos VERY high up the food chain."
Jade nodded as she pulled out three folders, each one marked with both an emblem for one of the three Panauan factions and the flag of a foreign country. The first file showed a Russian flag, the blue symbol of the Roaches and a picture of an immensely muscled bald man with heavy scars on one side of his face.
"Alexander Mirkov," she explained, "Is a former KGB agent who found a home as a mob boss once the Soviet Union went under. He's been bankrolling the Roaches and wants Razman to be a business partner in making Panau into Asia's one-stop shop for all manners of drug production on the side of the lucrative petrol business."
"You're especially looking forward to us killing him, aren't you?" said Cherri humorlessly to Tom.
"Perish the thought!"
"Bullshit," said Demencia with as much snark, "You might be a decent guy with great barbecuing skills, but you're still an old fart with a massive Cold War grudge to solve."
"Touché…"
"So…" said Jade, "You won't do it?"
The demonesses stared at each other before bursting into hysterics at the thought. After literally busting a gut, and it being healed from regeneration, they got their composure back.
"Oh no, we'll end whatever ex-Communist you throw at us!" cheered Demencia, "I just love trolling people."
"And that's one of the reasons I love you, bitch!" said Cherri giving her a snuggle. Remarkably, neither agent commented on this and simply moved onto the second folder with a Chinese flag, the red insignia of the Reapers and a photo of a balding Asian man with a glass eye.
"Zhang Sun," explained Jade, "Is a Chinese military strategist looking to turn Panau into a commonwealth for his country. He was a valued member of the Maoist regime and was connected with the innermost circles. He's quickly won over Bolo Santosi with his philosophy about public power."
The demons both silently arrived at the same conclusion: they banged and that's why Bolo was so eager to have him on board. They both promptly took out an SMG and shot each other in the head to get the mental picture of those two porking out of their heads before Jade handed out the third dossier with a Japanese flag, the yellow banner of the Ular Boys and an image of a stern looking male senior glaring right at the camera.
"Masayo Washio, a Japanese ex-general infamous even among his own ranks for his brutality and ruthlessness. He sees himself as a guardian of the island nation against any imperialistic threats such as China and plans to use Panau as his personal oil mine to fuel a hostile takeover of smaller nations. This ideology about protecting his homeland made him best friends with the Ulars."
"So, three targets to assassinate," said Cherri, "Any game plan in mind?"
"Well now, there's the rub!" said Tom, "All three o' these yahoos are staying at the exact same place: The Three Kings Hotel. Biggest and best tourist attraction on the island with the finest drink selection this side o' the Pacific!"
"Ahh, got to love contrived coincidences!" relished Demencia, "And if I had to guess, they're all clueless that they're all at the same place?"
"Bingo!"
"Ladies, your mission is very simple," said Jade, "The Three Kings is made up of three separate spires with each of the secret ambassadors staying in one of them. You must eliminate all three of them to deprive the factions of their backing. Be warned that all of them have major power at their disposal from their respective countries' militaries."
Hearing her doubts, Tom just chuckled as he went below deck to pour another round for everyone and spoke to her. "Trust me, Tan, the only ones who need any help are those three dirty communist motherfuckers that these ladies are gonna put down. They'll get stomped harder than a scorpion under a steel-toed boot!"
After another round of drinks to get them in the proper mood, the demonesses flew away with the coordinates Jade gave them on their PDA. While it was tempting to storm the hotel at night and surprise the three foes in their bed, they both decided to wait until morning. After all, since when did two invincible creatures from the underworld need stealth for?
Unlike their last big mission, they also decided to kill the time in their usual destructive fashion. Calling it a warm-up for the main event, they went on a bender of bloodlust that lasted until the sun came up. They stormed military bases, obliterated convoys, managed to only kill half as many civilians as usual and spread out some all-important canoodling between the gunfights and hijacking cars for some impromptu street races. Alas, the eight hours until dawn passed by in the blink of an eye and soon the pair saddled up for their big job.
One quick flight after crashing a fighter jet later, the Three Kings stood before the duo. Unlike the gaudy Panau Falls resort, this was a much more tasteful hotel with three pillars of metal and glass standing over three-hundred feet high apiece arranged in a triangle around a central courtyard where cars were driving in and out constantly. From the outside, they could also just make out the base of one of Panay's beloved statues smack dab in the center.
"Well… Ready for a super-fun day?" asked Demencia.
"As long as it's with a psycho-bitch who gives great tail-jobs like you, any day is fun," Cherri said in a rare moment of sincerity.
"Awwww!"
"Now come on," the cyclops said pulling out a pair of needles, "Let's get some mushroom samba in and get ready to fuck up some crime rings!"
Once they were both high as kites, they began their operation with a bit of espionage. Cherri tethered herself onto a passing truck and quickly threw the driver out. Once in the driver's seat, the demoness brought the vehicle to a stop in front of the shortest of the three towers. A common soldier and a valet walked over to her with the former claiming he needed to do a routine check before she could check-in. Cherri answered by pulling a machete out of her body and stabbing the nosy nuss through the face. The valet backed up in shock as she opened the door and tossed him the keys.
"You might wanna clock off early," she said, "My girlfriend's gonna arrive any minute now…"
As if on cue, another guard coming up to them was shot dead by a sniper round to the head. The valet wisely took Cherri's advice and drove away from the hotel as more guards stormed out into the courtyard. The civilians scrambled for safety as Demencia flew down and sniped more soldiers while Cherri pulled out twin katanas and went nuts slicing and dicing anyone in sight. Once the yard was relatively clear, Demencia used all the blood to form a massive hand and smack the ugly statue of Panay right off its pedestal and into the front entrance of the shortest tower.
"After you!" said Demencia, bowing to Cherri as if holding the door open.
"Who said chivalry's dead?" her girlfriend replied as she plucked the weapons off of more dead soldiers with her powers and started moving the rubble aside to let them in. Once they set foot in the luxurious lobby, they were met both by the standard Panauan military grunts and several men in jet black suits and sunglasses.
"Private security detail for our target," said Demencia, sounding completely bored, "Oh well, a little variety can't hurt."
The two pressed on into a hail of bullets as the line of guards and soldiers all opened fire. Once they were up close and personal, they both began shooting and beating the opposition several new orifices. Thanks to their guns, punches and a pair of sledgehammers from Cherri all of the guards were slaughtered, and the elegant marble flooring and walls of the lobby were stained red.
"Hmph," pouted the cyclops, "I wanted something different."
"You mean more challenging?" asked Demencia as she charbroiled a fallen goon for a light snack.
"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, this is still fun but…"
"That's the folly of being invincible. All the power and the world and yet it feels like knocking over blocks…" Demencia then handed Cherri a roasted leg of man as she mused on her poetry while eating the man's crispy kidney.
"And it's that depression that turned me to drugs and the occasional bout of prostitution."
They finished their snack in relative silence, interrupted only by the occasional guard bursting through the door only to get his neck telekinetically snapped or impaled by a blood sword, and then stared at each other.
"Alright, break's over. Now let's go smash up this whole joint and send some cartel head to Hell!" said Cherri cheerfully.
"What happened to all that depressing stuff?" asked her lover.
"Yeah, that all started me on it, but the reason I stayed with it? I fucking love being a coked-up slut who fights and shoots up all day!"
"And now you've got the perfect partner in crime!" Demencia then pulled out two medicine bottles from her hair. Neither of them bothered to read the labels before chugging the contents and enjoying the electric buzz that washed over them as they ran for the stairs and truly began their ascent to their first boss.
The girls figured to take a bottom-to-top approach to searching for their target. As they ran up the stairs, they quickly found many guests running for their lives through the halls while both the regular military and the same black suits that tried valiantly to stop their climb. Alas, they joined the red-vested goons in being demolished along with the building.
After about sixty floors of guzzling any liquor bottle they came across in the rooms along with sending hundreds of hired hands and minutemen to permanent retirement, they reached the rooftop where they saw another lineup of security guards rush to meet them at the stairwell. One big telekinetic push from Cherri sent them all flying and soon Demencia was shooting them out of the air with fireballs from one hand and sawed-off shotgun blasts from the other.
They stepped out onto the roof to find it was once a tasteful open-air bar that was now filled with more security and the elderly Zhang Sun looking down on them from a wooden stage.
"So, the capitalist servants finally arrived," he drawled as he stared down at them.
"That's right and we're here to start a free market of whooping your ass!" retorted Demencia, surprised to hear that the elderly Communist had no idea she and Cherri were actually working with the Reapers. More helpful contrivances thanks to a lazy author!
"I will topple your corrupt regime myself if I have to…" Zhang then pulled out what looked to be an ornate explosive and then chucked it right at the demonesses. Cherri just raised her single eyebrow in doubt as she shot it out of the sky with a revolver causing it to explode prematurely.
"You can't be fucking serious…" she lampooned, "Chinese fireworks? THAT'S the best you've got?!"
"Hardly…" He then, much to their surprise, pulled out a vial from under his sleeve and injected it straight into his neck. And then, much to both demons' surprise, his body began rapidly aging backwards. His wrinkled form became youthful and rippled with muscle and soon even his glass eye was launched out of his skull as a new organic one took its place.
"Ah, much better," said the infinitely younger Zhang, "Behold the secret project our scientists have been working on!"
"Cherri…" said Demencia, literally drooling, "We need some of that. It's looks like the best high EVER…"
"Yeah… It's alright, but I've seen better," shrugged the cyclops, "Half of the boys in Hell have some kind of super form."
"I'll send you straight back to that home of yours, capitalist demon!" Zhang yelled as he leapt over thirty feet with a single jump before landing straight on Cherri. He grinned in delight until the red stain under him recollected into the same demoness. The only difference was the now impressed look on her face.
"Okay, Demencia, honey? I'm with you now. We definitely need a shot of that shit! Can you imagine all the bitches we could break in half with that?"
"Hand over the steroids and no one gets hurt!" Demencia yelled as she summoned a fireball bigger than her whole body, clearly hungry to get her claws on the miracle substance Zhang possessed.
"You'll have to beat it out of me!" the Communist boasted as he charged at the pyromaniac demon. Demencia launched her fireball, but he simply batted it aside and punched through her stomach. Zhang smirked until Demencia's tail smacked him in the crotch by going between her legs and Cherri used a grappling hook to fling him away while he was distracted.
"Oh god, YES!" said the cyclops, "I can finally cut loose against someone!"
"I know, right?!" agreed Demencia as the gaping hole in her stomach healed, "Power fantasies are cool, but I've been itching for a real fight!"
"You abominable dogs!" Zhang said as climbed up from the edge of the roof, "This is no fight! This is a war!"
"You want a war?" taunted Cherri, "Well let's go, you roided-up fossil!"
The gauntlet was officially thrown down as Demencia and Cherri both rushed at Zhang. The demonic duo sent fire and lightning at Zhang, but he simply plowed through it with only minor burns. He smashed his fist into Demencia's face and took the lizard-girl's head off. Cherri quickly pulled a chainsaw out from her body and forced him back as her partner's head regenerated.
"So, you're bodies can fix themselves," the Chinese berserker said, stopping Cherri's weapon with his hand, "Let's see how much damage you can take!"
Zhang then grabbed her by the arms and flung her into the air like a doll before smashing down through the roof and several floors of the hotel. He was about to jump down after her, but Demencia flew up with hundreds of blood needles from all of the dead goons.
"Nobody trashes a hotel with her except me!" She flung her wave of red projectiles, but her foe powered through them in all in a spinning dive that ended with his foot kicking straight through her gut. Even still, Demencia clutched a claw around his throat and tried ripping his head off. She did make him let her go, but there was no injury from her talons.
Five floors beneath them, Cherri was fighting off a wave of new security that heard the disturbance from her room. A mix of black suits and red vests blurred together as she pulled out a machine gun and mowed everyone down. As if that was not enough, she used her telekinesis on the bullets and gave them a sort of push as they flew through the air. The result was each shot now ripping through torsos like cannon shells and many limbs being chopped off from the sheer velocity the bullets had.
When she heard a crash from back up on the roof, the cyclops wasted no time flying back up to see Demencia wrestling with Zhang. The other demon had her tail ablaze and wrapped around the super soldier's waste while he was trying to rip her arms clean out of her socket even as they were also on fire.
"No one gets to be rough with that psycho but me, homewrecker!" Cherri screamed as she opened fire on them. While Demencia regenerated from any bullets that hit her, Zhang was forced to move out of the way even as they bounced off his skin.
"Wait a minute…" Demencia said, realizing something was wrong. She pulled out a shotgun from her hair and fired at Zhang while his back was to her. The shot hit him dead on, making him flinch briefly. "Cherri, guns are his weakness! Fill him with holes!"
"Got it!" The girlfriends charged in with their firearms blazing and it seemed to work as Zhang was far less willing to attack them now. He resorted to jumping through the hole down into the hotel room below and crashed through several more levels with his super strength. Barely fazed by the change in tactic, the two jumped right along with him. Demencia, though, took the time to gather all of the blood from Cherri's last rampage and bring it with her as they chased after Zhang. Any hired hands that tried stopping them were swiftly cut down either by Cherri swinging a lightning-charged tanto or Demencia making crimson buzzsaws that grew bigger with each victim.
The downside to this strategy, though, was that they got so caught up in slicing and dicing random grunts that they lost track of Zhang and were just massacring willy-nilly.
"Huh," Demencia shrugged, "Guess we got carried away…"
"Yeah, but he'll be back. Bad guys like him tend to finish whatever bullshit they start." She then pulled out a bottle of tequila from her hammerspace and started gulping it down while Demencia started gnawing on the arm of one of her many victims. It was only when Zhang burst through the wall of the room they were lounging in ten minutes later that the fight resumed. Or at least tried to resume since the Chinese fanatic walked in on the two in bed.
"Um, do you mind holding up?" asked Demencia, pulling her head out from under the covers, "We're a little BUSYYYYY!" The draconic woman ducked her head back under to resume her hanky-panky and left a very unamused Zhang alone. The commie answered her request by picking up the bed with the two still in them and chucking it through the outside wall of the hotel.
He watched as it crashed to the ground hundreds of feet below, now confident that the free-market flunkies were dead. This, of course, was right when Cherri and Demencia both flew up the side of building looking royally pissed holding hands.
"Oh, now you've gone and done it!" Cherri roared, "All the bitches in Hell knew better than to interrupt me when I'm having sex!"
"And now you've ruined the mood!" Demencia shouted as both of threw out their free hands. A fireball and a lightning bolt hit Zhang at the same time, making him stumble backwards.
"That means you've gotten a one-way ticket to my turf!" The ladies then flew into the room. Cherri released her grappling hooks and implanted them into Zhang's shoulders while Demencia revealed her wings. The strategist had no time to free himself as the scaled villain flew up behind him and made more blood rush in from outside the room. She then took the leftovers from their latest killing spree and formed grappling hooks of her own which she implanted into Zhang's legs.
With no way to break either restraint, the girls put their unspoken plan into action by having Demencia fly towards the roof, using her fire breath to burn a path up to the night sky, while Cherri used telekinesis to fly behind them. Once they were back into the open, the demonesses started pulled their respective lines in opposite directions with all their might as even Zhang's enhanced body started to audibly strain from the forces.
"You… savage… bitches…" he struggled, now sounding like the old man he once was, "Your… freedom will… destroy you…"
"In case you haven't noticed," Cherri rebutted, "We're fucking invincible! You're the old fogey trying to pretend you are!"
"And we don't give two shits about the economy!" Demencia added, "All we care about is murdering assholes like you, fucking each other senseless and having enough drugs and booze to get as high as Mars!"
With one more pull, a shattering crack rang out and Zhang screamed as his spine gave out but the two were not done. Even as he feebly begged them to stop, though still calling them "capitalist hogs" all the while, they put all their unholy strength into their arms and Zhang was messily ripped in half. As they watched his innards fall down into the trashed hotel, both ladies landed on the roof and hugged each other.
"Good job with the hooks," complimented Demencia, "But I'm surprised you didn't electrocute him."
"Didn't need to. I knew you'd catch on and figure out a way to stop the roided-out twat." As vulgar as their language was, they were smiling tenderly and happy that the other was safe. Even if there was no way for them to be conventionally harmed, it was still refreshing to dote on each other like a real couple.
The tender moment died a batch of helicopters showed up, only now responding to half of a massive hotel tower being blown up. Their loving expressions were replaced with the fearsome scowls that many a member of the Panauan armed forces saw before they met a horrible end. Once they finished making the latest dent in the island's air force, they flew off to reach the middle tower where the Roaches' contact was staying.
They decided to pull the top-down approach this time and crash landed onto the roof where the open-air bar being completely abandoned save for some more suits. They were quickly dealt with thanks to Demencia's claws and Cherri's telekinesis but soon another round of choppers flying in with something new. The four whirlybirds were carrying an armored car between them.
Cherri tried shooting at the copters, but they actually found them and their cargo protected with a forcefield. Rather than be worried, she and her girlfriend smirked at the fact that someone was finally acting with basic intelligence. They each took a handful of pulls to properly get in the fighting spirit before the tank landed with Alexander Mirkov himself sitting on the top turret.
"Hahahahahaha!" he cackled, "I've come prepared for you, ladies! I'm not dumb enough to underestimate two dynamos who can down morphine like it's water!"
While the two appreciated not getting another speech about how feeble and helpless they were, they were also still itching for more blood. Cherri immediately used her telekinesis to start lifting the armored car and chuck it over the roof but Mirkov truly did come prepared. A new wave of dozens of goons stormed in from the stairwell into the hotel and opened fire on them. While the bullets only annoyed them, it did serve as a distraction that kept them from hurting the Russian kingpin.
Or at least, that's what he thought he was accomplishing. He was shocked to see the two looked happy to have more company and soon saw why as they started massacring them in record time. When he saw Demencia literally rip a man's head off with her tail and use that as a blunt weapon while Cherri pulled out an assault rifle and used telekinesis to have it shoot behind her while she had a sawed-off shotgun in one hand and shot lightning from the other. Even when they accidentally hit each other, which only happened on the rare occasion despite both of them being immune to injury, they just healed it off and went about slaughtering his men.
Alexander now understood how these two were singlehandedly dismantling this island's tyranny and proceeded to skip straight to his coup de grace. He lowered himself down into his vehicle's driver seat and hit a special button just as the demonic duo finished their warm-up.
"His car is transforming," observed Demencia curiously while gobbling a handful of morphine pills for kicks.
"Give these fuckers credit," said Cherri while looting every weapon in sight, "They're finally getting creative! Now we can find new ways to rip twats up and desecrate their corpses!"
"Really? More ways? You're already a champion!"
"Seven-year reigning champ in Hell's Annual Disrespecting Dead Dicks competition, in fact! We'll have to sign up for the next one as a team act!"
"Oh, that sounds amazing! I taught AP courses on that subject for a semester until some shit decided to try demonstrating on me, but I showed him! He still has a panic attack if he sees whipped cream!"
Their plans were cut short, however, when a rocket-propelled fist punched Demencia's head clean off her scaly shoulders. Cherri, while bummed someone interrupted them, barely reacted as she turned to see that Mirkov's armored car was now a ten-foot tall robot suit with the drug lord smirking in his seat behind a glass cockpit.
"Now you little tarts are in trouble!" he boasted, "This is state-of-the-art technology that will render even your amazing abilities useless!"
"We'll see about that!" both lovers cried as they combined their elements into the same glowing ball of energy from before and fired it right at the robot only for it to plow through with minor scorch marks. Its hydraulic legs rocked the ground with every step and deployed a chain gun from its right arm that started firing wildly at the demonesses.
Many shots found their mark, but any injuries the two had were healed over as Cherri fired back with a machine gun and Demencia gathered the blood pooling around Mirkov's dead soldiers and fired them as cannonballs. Seeing that neither group's artillery was hurting the other, the two sides leapt back towards the edge of the rooftop. Cherri again tried to push Mirkov's mech off of the roof with her mind, but now he revealed a pair of jet boosters that suddenly made him fly forward and flung Cherri over the edge.
While this would be cause for alarm in most situations, the demoness just rolled her eye and sent a grappling hook into the side of the building and reeled herself in. As she watched Mirkov's mech turn its boosters upwards to start flying back, she flung herself off her perch pulling a six-foot long katan out of her body and charged it with lightning.
"Eat anime logic, fuckface!" Cherri shouted as she swung her blade straight down the middle of the suit and sliced it clean in half. She would have sliced the kingpin inside if he did not eject at the last minute.
"You win this round, matryoshka! But I have many more resources to destroy you with!"
"Yeah… We're not waiting for that sequel," Demencia said as flew up to him. Her left hand was on fire and a shotgun was in her right. With one swift punch, she made a smoking hole in his chest cavity. He yelled in pain but not before Demencia jammed the shotgun in the gaping wound and aimed the weapon up. One click of the trigger later and Mirkov's head exploded into a bloody mess with the smoking barrel of the weapon poked out through his neck.
"Well, that was fun," Cherri said while casually looting more fallen goons.
"Yeah, nothing worse in a good game than a shitty boss fight," Demencia said, ripping off the cartel leader's arm and devouring the meat.
"What? No Mortal Kombat joke?"
"I would, but I think the author's just about to go on a rant about the game only he's ever played. Go ahead and get high, this is going to take a while…"
Twenty minutes later, Demencia finished her well-worded and completely justified rant about an obscure open-world game while Cherri had a nice high from a vodka-speed mixer and soon the couple flew to the final tower. In contrast to the last two, the rooftop was already abuzz with activity as dozens of soldiers waited and immediately started firing at them once they were in range.
"Oh goodie!" Demencia said, "They finally learned basic pattern recognition!"
"Then let's reward the little boys and girls with something special!" Cherri said pulling out a rocket launcher from her breast's secret compartment and firing off dozens of high explosives at the roof. The forces quickly scattered and took for cover rather than exploding into a gory mess but that did not save them for long. Demencia flew down and went on the rampage clawing and biting the remaining soldiers to shreds even as her lover continued her barrage.
"So, you've arrived," said a raspy accented voice from the staircase, "It seems the Ulars made the mistake of allying with foreigners."
"Um, Earth to dipshit?" Cherri said back, "You're not from this podunk oil drum of an island either!"
"Heh, the classic Knight-Templar mentality," Demencia laughed, "So blinded by his righteous cause that he can't see his own hypocrisy or the disastrous consequences of his crusade."
Masayo looked confused until Cherri put an arm around the dragon girl's shoulder. "AP Villain Psychology course at Black Hat U. Perfect score on the final, the fucking showoff."
"They never saw me cheat once!"
"Your blathering falls on deaf ears… You may try to stop our approach, but your government will fall! The Reapers shall succumb to our might and the Roaches will either supply us or be snuffed out! We shall-!"
His tirade was cut off as two pistol rounds flew through his skull. As the Japanese warhorse fell to the ground, Cherri and Demencia held their smoking guns and sighed in mutual disappointment.
"Well, mission accomplished, I guess…" Demencia mumbled, "Can't believe that's how it ends. An old fart making the biggest rookie mistake in the book: shut the hell up and do your job!"
"I mean, yeah, I want to have some more action but I could go for downing a pound or two of speed and trashing a casino."
"Eh… Maybe. We didn't get any new powers for this but maybe that'll push us over the edge."
"Don't think you've won yet!" said a voice from around them. The duo, actually caught off-guard for a change, looked around only to find the voice was coming from the dead general they just shot. Cherri quickly searched his body and found a walkie-talkie.
"Well I'll be damned," she said, "You sent a body double."
"Holy shit! Someone with basic intelligence! THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!" Demencia panicked, guzzling a jumbo bottle of vodka and shooting dead bodies in a frenzy.
"I have eyes everywhere!" Masayo bragged, "I've seen you monstrosities running rampant across this island! I know you're triple agents for the cartels of this island! And I will not let even freaks of nature like you destroy my plans! My empire shall rise to greatness once again!"
"Oh, darn, is that so?" Cherri whimpered in the most sarcastic imaginable, "Well, Demencia, you heard him. We should just turn ourselves in to whatever shadow government he's the head of and call it quits."
"Honey, you can't think like that!" Demencia swooned, "We must be strong! We must fight this tyrant! Our love shall see us through!"
"Don't get all sappy like that! You know it makes me horny!"
"Then let me satisfy your urges, even if it is to be our last fucking!"
And then, never being ones to half-ass their trolling, the two did start banging on the roof with their enemy listening to everything. To their credit, he managed to go a whole ten minutes of hearing them make naughty noises before snapping.
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!"
"Aw, what's the matter?" Demencia taunted, "Still can't get a boner?"
"Too bad," Cherri added, "But just for interrupting us, we're trash this whole tower apart to find you and then turn your teeth in anal beads and one of your bones into a double-ended dildo."
"You won't do anything! EAT THIS!" The two got up and looked confused until they saw a huge spotlight shine down from the sky. They both looked up just in time to see a giant laser from an orbiting satellite blast them to kingdom come. Their enemy laughed at the sight, apparently being serious when he said he had eyes everywhere, only for them to reform fifteen seconds later. Then the only thing they heard was a choked scream that nearly made them fall over laughing.
"Hey, twit-twat?" Cherri asked, "If you've been watching us, why'd you think that would work?" We haven't been hurt by anything so far."
"Technological superiority complex," Demencia diagnosed, "Believing that whatever advanced weaponry you have will win out over basic strategy."
"Oh, I know a twat with that problem… But he'll get his new vagina when we go back to Hell. So what should we do about Emperor Wannabe?"
"Well… That whole death laser thing got me thinking about anime and I have an idea of how we can finish him real fast…"
Demencia whispered her idea into Cherri's ear and the cyclops actually felt shocked. She knew they were destructive but that was a whole different level!
"That sounds completely fucking insane! It's over-the-top, ridiculous and would kill hundreds of innocent people!"
"So… is that a yes?"
Cherri answered by grabbing Demencia by the shoulders and French kissing her for a moment before pulling away. "Sorry, that was so fucking hot I needed that… Now LET'S DO IT!"
The pair both soared high into the sky above the hotel. They could almost picture their target smirking thinking they would comb the building apart, blasting through legions of security and giving him plenty of time to escape. And while that would be fun, they decided to really go all-out.
Once they were hundreds of feet above the tower, both of them focused and tried summoning as much of their elements as possible. Having never tried summoning more than what they wanted for a particular attack, they were equally curious to see how far they could go. It turns out they did not have much of a limit as soon Demencia was the center of a massive fireball several times bigger than she was while Cherri generated several storms' worth of lightning into a sphere around her. The size of their attacks kept growing until the eventually put their hands together and suddenly the two came together into a massive sphere of pure energy that soon was wider than the entire tower.
With the two screaming to the sky to really complete the anime feel of it all, their miniature sun bomb of heat death soon rocketed down towards the spire and collided with the massive mass of glass and stone until the entire thing went up in in one deafening, island-shaking kaboom. It was so enormous that it actually disintegrated Cherri and Demencia in the backlash but they were only more concerned with looking at the smoking crater left once they reformed. They stood in silence just awing their own handiwork until they got a call from their PDA.
"Jesus's jumping beans!" exclaimed Tom, "That's fuckin' overkill even for y'all! I didn't think they'd have to change the name of the hotel thanks to you!"
"What can we say?" Demencia offered, "We're professionals! No trace of evidence!"
Cherri just laughed at that claim. "Holy shit, how high are you?! There's a hundred-foot deep hole in the ground where a four-star resort was! How much crack did you huff just now?"
"None yet!"
Before she could get to that, Demencia and her partner felt the same tingle as before and knew they were about to take another spin at the superpower lottery. Once the feeling passed, neither of them looked any different but they did notice a platoon of soldiers coming to investigate the small-scale nuclear explosion.
Cherri ran out to meet them, but ended up discovering her power by accident as she ran forward at several hundred miles per hour and launching two jeeps flying on either side of her. The stupid amount of velocity she had plus her already enhanced strength plus regenerating from any injury she inflicted on herself meant that she was now a human wrecking ball in the most literal sense. She cackled like a maniac as she slashed soldier's throats at hyper speed with just bare hands and knocked away cars with simple punches in kicks. And on top of it all, Cherri Bomb was fully appreciating physics for the first time in her life!
Demencia, meanwhile, discovered her newest ability when an armored car tried running her down. She fly into the air to dodge and prepared to swoop down to hijack it only for her arm to stretch to several times its length and latch onto the barrel of its mounted gun. With one quick yank, her arm held its shape and flung backward like a trebuchet right into a squadron of elite, slicing one of them clean in half.
While being super flexible might not seem like a combat-oriented power to most, the dragon demoness found far too many uses for it. Strengthening her punches and kicks with massive wind-ups, spinning like a deranged top on her elastic tail while firing weapons at random and just elongating her neck and chomping down on them once she was close. Once she had several cars and jets full of soldiers dead at her feet, Demencia flew over to see Cherri was still laughing mad while sending supersonic punches into a man's bloody corpse.
"Hah, I love it when you get consumed with bloodlust…" she swooned, her voice breaking Cherri out of her rage.
"Your damn lucky you're flattery is adorable or I'd slash your throat…"
"Better watch your mouth or I'll tear you to shreds!"
"Bitch, I'd smoke you so fast you're ghost would get whiplash!"
"I'll bury you in blood to the point where they'll think you're type ABO-Posi-Negative!"
They glared at each other and got in each other's faces, pulling a revolved on the other to further intimidate them before they just fell down laughing at their own stupid antics.
"You know…" Cherri remarked, "I actually feel going to bed."
"Well, there's still two hotels here… Want to book a room?"
"I'll bring the Quaaludes!"
"I'll bring arm of some fucker who demands a tip for room service!"
The two then strolled arm in arm into one of the remaining spires of the Three Kings, soon to be renamed Two Kings, and enjoyed acting like a regular couple for the remainder of the evening even if that meant kicking out a prostitute from her room, asphyxiating his client and then getting blitzed on hardcore drugs and human flesh. Either way, they still fell asleep snuggling in each other's arms and enjoying each other's company.
At long last, I have finally made progress! I will promise two things to all of you 10 people watching: There are four chapters left and I will finish it! When... Well, the demonesses aren't the only ones busy... Until we meet again!
But in all seriousness, thank you very much for reading and I hope this brings you a little bit of entertainment in a time where we all need something to laugh about! Happy Thanksgiving!