Zephyr, already in a very grumpy mood, marched his minions to castle spree. By the time he got there, the sun had already set, but it was far from dark out. Soon he found the source of the yellowish-red glow filling the air. The castle was in flames, and whatever force had besieged it was already inside.
"A thousand halflings couldn't do this much damage. I smell magic in the air. That's never a good smell. Sire, I think you should investigate further."
"No shit Gnarl, I think I'll start with the area around the castle before charging straight in." Zephyr saw two paths, one blocked by fire, leading to the castle gates, the other leading downhill and crawling with Beatles. One of them was about the size of a minion and took the whole horde to take down quickly. When it died, it did not give just one lifeforce, but three.
"Holy shit! Gnarl, the Beatles around here give extra lifeforce, are there ones like this for every kind of lifeforce?"
"I do believe there are master, quite useful, and delicious, creatures to have around, if we could wrangle some in the dungeon."
"See that it's done at once. I want to have a steady supply of minions, and a good way to feed them as well." Zephyr continued to search the grounds around the castle. All he ended up finding was more bugs, ones that produced brown lifeforce. He doubled back to the path blocked by fire, clearing the way he started up the path to the castle. From the bushes jumped a warrior in dark forboding armor, wielding two swords. The stranger was not nearly as tough as he looked, falling in one barrage of fire from the reds.
"He was most definitely not local! I wonder if the lady the gibbering peasant spoke of is behind all this?"
"If she is, I know just where I'm going to shove a fireball." Zephyr said a little too casually. He looked around the castle gate. The drawbridge was pulled up, showing no singe of being broken or forced down.
"Better find another way in, oh master of the shadows."
"Master of the shadows? Garl, is this your best attempt at kissing ass? Do try harder next time." Looking over to the side, he could see a hole made in the wall by the raiders. Moving over to investigate, he could see the wheel to the drawbridge, willing his minions to turn it. One of the raiders tried to stop the minions, but Zephyr had them covered, taking the stupid fucks head clean off with one blast of fire. The moment the bridge was lowered, he rushed into the castle, a dozen raiders waiting for him. Willing his reds to stay back and fire, he charged with his browns at the enemy. They were more formidable worriers than the halflings he was used to putting down; more than half of his browns were dead by the time the last raider was slain. He found a waypoint and minion gate in a field next to the castle, along with a tower object, this one glowing red. The moment he had it moved to the waypoint gate, Zephyr felt a rush of power move through every inch of his body.
"Your health has increased! I wish mine had!"
"And what does that mean exactly?"
"It means that your now more hardy than most humans and that it will take more damage to kill you, sire."
"Oh... Neat." Zephyr looked around the burning rubble, and the only entrance he could find was what looked like the one to the dungeon. Having his reds clear the fire in his way, Zephyr and his merry band of minions moved into the depths of castle spree. Only passing two flights of stairs before another waypoint gate and set of minion gates popped up; he heard some voices when he passed them.
"My lady, please hurry, they're coming."
"Stay back. These people are no threat to you! Put that down!" The secant voice sounded feminine, and as fare as Zephyr was concerned, had to have come from the mystery lady. Whoever she was talking to responded in a most uncivilized way, setting a peasant on fire.
"Ok... Lets... Just... Run! Quick, the storeroom!" Rushing from the other room was the said on fire peasant, along with a noblewoman wearing a red and gold dress. Along a few not on fire peasants running into a little side room that looked more like a cell than a storeroom.
"That was... Horrible..."
"Unless you want the horrible to fallow us in here, I suggest you shut the door!" When they managed to get the bars closed, two raiders ran out, spotting Zephyr first attacking him. As he engaged the raiders, the noblewoman yelled out her critics of how he was doing.
"Keep those reds in the back! No, no, you're going to get your browns killed doing that! Good god, man, is this your first time fighting!?" Zephyr was more than a bit ticked off by the presumption of that woman telling him how to command his forces. Making his mounting anger the raider's problem, killing them ruthlessly.
"Your little creaturs are just darlings, aren't they!? I'm Rose. Well, it seems you can handle yourself. Interested in a job?"
"Give me the details, and I'll consider it." Zephyr responded as he walked up to the cell and looked Rose over. She was a rather attractive woman, her red hair was short and helped to show off her pretty face.
"Have you heard about the Heavens Peek plague? It's nasty, very nasty. I came here to see if this place could shelter the poor lumps who are not infected... Yet. I need to get out of here, but I can't leave with these raiders everywhere, and I need my luggage. Could you deal with them and retrieve it for me? Oh, you should probably know, those raiders had a strange creature with them. It's bound to be magical... Must have helped them get in here!"
"I was already going to clear the scum from my castle, but I don't see what I gain from retrieving your luggage. Do you have any gold or something else of value?"
"Knowledge, you seem to be the new overlord, correct?"
"Indeed, I am."
"Well, my father studied the last overlord in great detail. Tactics, minion biology, magical capability, you name it. I have all his books on the subject; that is how I could tell you're still new to controlling your minions. You can have them when this is done."
"And your father's journals have zero sentimental value to you at all?"
"Not really no, we have a deal?" Zephyr thought it over for a moment. That same familiar feeling he had when seeing Melvin filled his mind when she talked about her father studying the last overlord.
"It's a deal." Zephyr didn't wait for Rose to respond and ventured forth into the castle's burning ruins. The path that Rose came from was blocked by bars; he spotted a wheel on an upper level, deciding to find a way to get to it. As he slashed and smashed his way through the dungeon, Zephyr noticed something odd. Most of the burning rubble was boxing in raiders, it all looked so much like they did it on purpose. Maybe they were warned about his approach and put up the burning barricades, he thought, no, there was not enough time for that. One thing was clear; the raiders were expecting someone to break in and try stopping them, but who? Zephyr pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind as he finally carved his way to the wheel, and sure enough, when his minions turned it, the bars lifted and cleared the way. Hopping down from the platform, he passed by Rose's hiding place, and it seemed she had something to say.
"Those raiders don't want me helping the plague victims. They want to create chaos! If that plague gets out of Heavens Peak, then things will get very disorganized! And I hate that!"
"One problem at a time, woman."
"Don't you woman me, you goon!"
"HEY! I'm a petty tyrant, not a goon! There's a difference!" Zephyr moved on before he got into an argument. Marching his horde deeper into the dungeon, he found a place to replenish the ranks before turning the corner. The moment he did, he wished he hadn't. The best he could describe the monster floating before him was a giant testicle with about three or four eyestalks and one enormous eye and tentacles. It truly hurt to look at.
"Hmm... That creature's presence explains how these raiders entered the castle." Before Zephyr could ask how this abomination's existence answered anything except that there is no god, it began to squint like it was taking a shit, teleporting in three raiders.
"Quick Master, position your reds on high ground to attack the beast!" Zephyr willed his reds to move to one of the platforms; the beast then hovered over to the other platform.
"You must keep it surrounded!"
"You know what, Gnarl, I have a better idea." Zephyr then willed his browns to go guard the reds as he charged the raiders, cutting them down on his way to the platform closest to the flying testicle. The moment he was looking the ugly thing in the eye, he grabbed two of the eyestalks in one hand and shoved his spell hand into the fuckers giant eye. Casting fireball inside of the monster over and over again until it fell to the ground dead.
"Well, that was unpleasant. I don't think this hand will feel clean no matter how many times I wash it!"
"Indeed, sire. Now, bring the luggage to that female creature before she moans the place down!"
"Normally, I would threaten to castrate you, but I just want to get the fuck out of this burning shit hole." Zephyr willed his reds to clear the flame barrier and then willed his browns to get the luggage. It took ten minions to carry the pill of crap, twelve to carry it easily. When she spotted her luggage, Rose opened the cell, letting the peasants run free screaming things like.
"Let's head for Spree!" Zephyr let the villagers run for their lives as he presented Rose's possessions to her.
"My luggage! Your little cherubs found it!" Her remark made the minions look visibly ill
"Cherubs? Yuck!" The lead minion in the horde spat out in disgust.
"I thought you were just the usual run-of-the-mill dungeon fodder, but you've surprised me!"
"And you're shockingly good at backhanded compliments, interested in a job as my jester?" Rose gave an annoyed scoff in response to that job offer.
"Against my better judgment, I was thinking about applying for a different position. Do you have a mistress?" Zephyr arched his brow, not quite sure what she meant by that.
"Tell me then, why should I higher you when any whore would do?" Rose gave him a disapproving glare before quickly shifting into the kind of smile people on the verge of murder wore.
"What's your tax policy?"
"My what?"
"Thought so. What are your contingencies in case of a bad crop?"
"I um..." Zephyr was not used to being on the back foot like this. In truth, he was a better conqueror than a ruler, something he was only now beginning to understand.
"My lord, you might be an evil despotic dictator, but I'm a bureaucrat, a level of evil you clearly haven't even come close to!" She moved her hands to her hips and straightened her stance, having felt that she sold herself rather well, and Zephyr agreed.
"Ok, you've convinced me, you start first thing in the morning. Let's get the hell out of here!" Zephyr lead his new mistress to the closest tower gate, and what he found on the other side shocked him. The tower was rebuilt entirely, with no rubble, no debris, not even any dust.
"So this is your tower, hmmm it could use a bit of work."
"Trust me. It was much worse this morning." Gnarl waddled over, smiling in a way that it was clear he was trying to make a good impression.
"Greeting mistress. Sire, we managed to re-open the private quarters. I've instructed the minions to take m'lady's luggage there." Rose seemed to ignore Garl's ass-kissing and turned to address Zephyr.
"If your heading to Heaven's Peak, perhaps you could investigate what's been causing the plague?"
"I'll add it to my to-do list. But first, I'm going to have to prepare my realm for refugees." Zephyr said in a deadpan tone as minions rushed upstairs.
"I'd better get up there, wouldn't' want those little dears eating my things and getting a tummy ache. Give me some time to spruce up a little, then come on up, I'll put the kettle on." Zephyr stumbled over to his throne and dossed off into sleep, ignorant of the comfy bed that he now possessed.