Chapter Eighteen
/ Long chapter, some violence.
The next morning there was a discreet knock on the door. James looked up as Lily stumbled blearily into the common room of the Lords' Quarters.
"Are you okay?" he murmured.
She nodded and waved to the door. He got up as she flopped down on the couch and tilted over on the overstuffed arm. At the door stood Professor McGonagall.
"Minnie! What a pleasure! You look the same as the last time I saw you!"
She rolled her eyes.
"You scamp. You saw me less than eight hours ago."
"Like I said, the last time I saw you."
"May I come in?"
"Of course, of course!"
He bowed her into the room. Lily had straightened up at the sound of McGonagall's voice and was glaring daggers at James. The professor was hiding her amusement at the byplay with difficulty.
"Mister Potter…"
James held up his hand to stop her. His voice was serious.
"Minerva, you've known us long enough to call us by our first names. With the few things that we've learned about Harry last night, there's only time for the barest of jokes."
An eyebrow raised.
"A Marauder being sober?"
His lips twitched at the play on words, but he nodded.
"Where it concerns my son and his well-being, I can't bring myself to be anything other than sincere. I know Lily is the same way. I don't think you came here this morning just to check on us. Please, sit down. Tell us what we need to know."
She looked him in the eye and saw not James the prankster, but Lord Potter. The look in his eye was a different kind of fire than what others had seen in Lily's eyes, but it was no less deadly. Professor McGonagall looked deep into his eyes, then drew herself up and nodded in approval.
"Very well, James. As the days to come approach us, there will be problems to solve stemming from your return. I trust that you will not forget your first duty?"
"Definitely not."
"Now, aside from that I have been asked if you will be taking breakfast in the Great Hall."
James raised an eyebrow.
"What about our return? How will Professor Dumbledore explain it?"
Minerva rolled her eyes.
"The same way he does everything else. That damnable twinkle and talking around everything."
"Oh. How silly of me to forget that. I've had some other things distracting me."
She speared him with a patented McGonagall stare, number three. James couldn't help but shuffle his feet a bit.
"Um, I mean, I see. We'll have to work around that."
"Very good… Mister Potter."
James was astounded to see a slight smirk on his former professor's face. He didn't think it was even possible. He started to say something, but was interrupted by a light snore. They looked at the couch to see Lily flopped down on the cushions from the mostly seated position she'd taken when McGonagall arrived.
"I see that you have a rather dangerous job ahead of you. We have too much to do today to sleep. Young Mister Potter will quite possibly be here soon to see his parents without regard to sleep state. I wish you luck."
James started to say something about having a lie-in, but she gave him a speaking glance and nodded to Lily before stepping toward the door. He hurriedly caught up and walked her to the door, thanking her for visiting. When the door closed, he turned to look at his beloved.
"Well, 'faint heart ne'er won fair lady.' Or maybe it should be that 'abandon all hope' quote. Or 'into the valley of death rode the six hundred.' Wait, why am I trying to find a quote when I know good and well she's going to hex me for waking her up?"
He took a deep breath, metaphorically girding his loins, and tried not to think about actually girding his loins. James didn't think she would rip his family jewels off, but best to be prepared. He put the best loving, sweet, gentle and coaxing note that he could into his voice. Maybe it would protect him.
If not, then maybe Poppy Pomfrey could put him back together again.
"Lily? Sweetheart, we need to get up. Breakfast time."
-===(| - |)===-
Harry woke up on the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room. He didn't remember getting here or even going to sleep. There was an arrow propped up on the side table. He regarded that blearily, wondering what an arrow was doing in the Common Room but after a few minutes he remembered the note from one of the Centaurs. It took him a few more minutes of woolgathering but he managed to remember everything else that happened last night.
He looked around, nose full of Hermione's scent and wondered where she was. They had tumbled down on the couch when they got to the Common Room and swore that it would just be a few minutes. It seemed to him that they must not have spent 'just a few minutes' on that couch. Harry's side was still warm from being cuddled so Hermione must not have slept in her bed.
"Where is she, anyway?" he murmured to himself. His glasses was crooked on his face, so he straightened and struggled to his feet. The Ravenclaw blanket confused him more. He looked around for Hermione.
"Hello, sleepyhead!"
"Mphhh." He took a breath and tried again. "Morning. Why is there a Ravenclaw blanket here?"
"Don't know. It just showed up."
He squinted at it, trying to wake up enough to figure this out.
"It's got L-U-something on the edge."
"Maybe it's Luna's. Although that doesn't explain what it's doing here." She looked at him. "Better take a shower and wake up. Breakfast is soon. Hurry – Professor McGonagall wants us to meet her in her office before then."
Harry looked at his girlfriend. She was indecently chipper and he felt like a rotted moss-covered log. How she managed to look so alive this early in the morning was something that he never understood. She was almost always ready to beat the morning into wailing submission and he… was not. Maybe it was a girl thing.
He walked up the stairs to his bed with the blanket draped over his shoulders, uncaring about what others might think. If this really was Luna's blanket, he would get it back to her. Until then, it would stay folded up on his bed. Considering how warm it was, it might take a day or two.
It didn't take long to select his clothing for the day. Those were laid out on top of the folded blanket and he managed to get a short shower. Thankfully, Dean and Seamus hadn't used up the hot water. Ron and Neville was still out in noisy dreamland, so he didn't get interrupted. The water felt good. Thinking about Hermione during that ritual felt better.
When he turned the water off, he realized that he didn't hear any snoring, so maybe Ron and Neville was awake. Harry shrugged. Neville probably woke up when Harry started making noise in the shower, banging around. Ron could sleep through anything, it seemed. Whatever made noise, it didn't bother a sleeping Ron Weasley.
Mostly dried off and with his towel wrapped around him, Harry walked out to find Hermione sitting on his bed staring at him. He jumped and grabbed at the towel that almost fell off.
"Hermione? What are you doing up here?" he squeaked.
A sly grin answered him.
"Oh, relax, Harry. I've seen it all now, remember? I was hoping to see it again."
His eyes grew wide and he stammered out, "B-but I thought w-we had to go see McGonagall…"
Hermione sighed.
"True."
Harry looked over to Ron's bed and saw that he was not there.
"Where's Ron?"
"I threw him out. I told him he was a half-hour late for breakfast and most of it was gone already. He decided not to argue and left."
Despite himself, Harry snickered.
"That would do it."
Before Harry could say anything else, Hermione jumped up and threw her arms around him. Her arms trapped his at his sides, and she laid the biggest, wettest kiss on him that she could. He tensed up but soon relaxed into the kiss.
"You felt so good out there with me last night. Sooooo good," she moaned into his ear.
His eyes widened even more when he heard the huskiness in her voice. His arms came up to hold her closer, but the moment he started moving, Hermione pounced.
The towel was snatched off with one hand and the other hand zoomed unerringly to firmly grip Little Harry, who'd expressed great interest in the Hermione thoughts from earlier. She gave him three quick strokes as she broke off the kiss and took off out of the room with Harry's towel in an iron grip. She was out of range before he could react.
"Hurry and get dressed! McGonagall's already waiting for us!" she caroled over her shoulder.
He stood there stark naked, mouth agape and groin aching, staring at the doorway she'd just disappeared through with the towel fluttering after her. She was going to be the death of him soon. He just knew it. How was he going to get dressed now?
Her voice came up to his ears from the Common Room.
"Haaaaaar-ryyyyy! Need help? It's not that hard to get dressed is it?"
"Something's hard, but it's not the 'getting dressed' part. This means war," he mumbled to himself as he struggled into his pants.
-===(| - |)===-
Fifteen minutes later, Harry and Hermione was walking hand-in-hand toward McGonagall's office.
"So, Harry… you look a bit rumpled. Have any problems getting dressed? I was sure you'd enjoy seeing me."
She pouted at him as she spoke. He tried not to betray that there was a distinct twitch in certain parts as she spoke. It didn't help as she stopped and sweetly kissed his cheek.
"I thought about you holding me in your lap all night last night. It was a good thing I had silencing charms on my bed. Allllll night."
He stumbled when she blinked at him coquettishly, but Hermione pulled him along.
"Careful there, Harry. I don't want my boyfriend in the Hospital Wing more than necessary. Of course, I could visit and give you some personal attention," she purred. The look in his eyes triggered a loud laugh from her, and she squeezed his hand in hers.
Where did this Hermione come from?! The thought trampled all the other thoughts in his mind.
"Ummm, Hermione…"
She stopped and turned him to face her.
"Relax, Harry." She glanced down and smirked. "If you can. I'm yours and you're mine. I need to ask the Sorting Hat about that 'bonded mate' bit. Remember that?"
"Yes."
"One reason I didn't sleep much last night was thinking about that. I thought about it a lot, in between… other stuff… and know what?"
"What?"
"Harry, it wouldn't bother me one bit if we were bonded. I could grow old with you. I hope I do, actually."
He smiled at her.
"And what was that 'other stuff' you mentioned?"
She blushed a bit. A slightly lascivious smile framed her answer.
"Oh, you'll find out sooner or later. It was a lot of very filling thoughts. Oh, look! We're here now."
He had his mouth open to inquire more when Hermione rapped on the door to the office occupied by the Deputy Headmistress. The door swung open and a familiar voice called for them to enter. Having been bidden, they did so.
"I'm surprised you two got here this soon." McGonagall noted. "Usually, it's hard to get Harry moving more or less smoothly this early. Even Quidditch practice takes a lot of effort. He really has to push through and it seems that you, Miss Granger, are motivating him better than anyone else has managed. What's your secret?"
Everyone in the office could see her blush. Now that the duo was inside, they could see James and Lily seated there with McGonagall behind her desk. Lily looked like she would fall asleep again and James was rubbing her back and smirking at Hermione. He quirked a speculative eyebrow at Harry, who tried his best to look angelic. The professor rolled her eyes at this.
"That look never worked when your father did it, Mister Potter. It still doesn't work for him. Don't think it's going to work for you, either." McGonagall snorted.
"Yes, Professor," Harry lamented, to everyone's general amusement. He looked at his mother. "I guess I know where I get it from when it comes to dragging in the morning."
James sighed. "This is a special case, Harry. We stayed awake last night longer than we thought we were going to."
Everyone looked at him. Speculation was written on faces, one of those rather queasily.
"Not that! Not that!"
Eyebrows raised around the room.
"I'm serious! You try coming back from the dead and see what your first reaction is! What's the first thing you'd want to do?"
Harry looked at Hermione and his face went red. James saw this and snickered, since Hermione seemed to be considering his aggrieved question and hadn't noticed.
"So, James, how do you motivate Lily?"
"I don't think I should say in mixed company. You see..."
Professor McGonagall cut off whatever he was about to say quite without mercy. The look she gave James shut him up.
"Debates about postmortem awakenings aside, I want to move on before we get sidetracked." James sat back on the couch with Lily, who snuggled in. "Some of us in this gathering are not the best at preventing that," she asserted, daring anyone to gainsay that.
No one did. Harry felt his face get warm. The fixed stare Hermione and the light sigh from her really didn't help.
"So, the Headmaster and I believe all of us should make an appearance in the Great Hall for breakfast in about thirty minutes. We should put the Hogwarts rumor mill to work for us this time."
"What?"
The surprise was very apparent in Harry's voice, but looking around he could see that Hermione was considering it.
"We have to appear sometime, Mister Potter. Best that it be done now and get it over with."
James grinned.
"I'll do it. Harry and I look so much alike that the confusion factor alone is so worth it."
Harry regarded his father. James and Lily were still dressed in the clothes that they had appeared in, meaning the height of early eighties fashion. It was painful to him, at least. James looked at him, divining what he was thinking.
"Well, okay, we needed to change clothes, too. Lils, you awake yet?"
"I don't wanna beeee…" she whined. James stood up and pulled her up with him.
"Come on, sweetheart, you'll feel better after we eat."
"No, wanna go back to bed."
"Food, time with Harry, seeing Snape go pale… wait is that last possible?"
"Sev's here?"
"You don't remember Minnie here telling us that?"
"No. Wanna sleep."
Hermione leaned into Harry, her eyes dancing with amusement.
"I can see that I've got this to look forward to. No worries, I know what to do to get you up."
Harry turned to look at her so fast, his eyes squeezed shut for a moment. She just smiled up at him and said nothing more other than blowing him a small kiss. Harry was beset with a few mental considerations of what she could have been meaning or referring to or plain outright implying, but Hermione wasn't confirming or denying anything. It felt a bit frustrating to Harry. Meanwhile, James had gotten Lily to wake up enough to stand and dragged her over to Harry. He grabbed her hand as he stood himself. Harry couldn't get enough of his mother's hugs.
Behind them, the professor called for a house elf and murmured some instructions. The elf nodded and regarded the elder Potters for a moment. He disappeared with a muted pop that hardly anyone noticed. Harry and Lily had finished their hug and now she was hugging Hermione.
The elf re-appeared, again with that muted pop. He was directing hangers carrying robes of royal blue to pegs that sprouted from the wall. The Potter crest was distinct on the breast panels of the robes. James noticed.
"Well, those look pretty good. I haven't seen this crest in, hell, must be over fifteen years."
Looking around, he could see eyes piercing into his forehead, and he quickly held up his hands in surrender.
"I yield, I yield! Don't beat me!"
"If only I had years ago," McGonagall grumbled to herself. "It might have solved so many problems."
No one heard her except the portrait behind her. The distinguished man in the frame grinned but said nothing. The weekly portrait poker game later tonight was going to be quite interesting.
James transfigured his clothes to a lighter fabric and slipped on the larger robe. It fit perfectly, of course, and absently he wondered if that elf was the school tailor. The way this robe fit, he had to be even if there was no evidence of a measuring tape having been used at all. For an eyeball measuring, this was excellent.
Lily had reluctantly parted from hugging Harry and did the same as James. After she pulled her hair out from the collar of the robe, she bound it in a loose ponytail. When they turned back to face the group, everyone got to their feet.
Lord and Lady Potter stood before them. The robes magnified their appearance. James' hazel eyes and black hair and Lily's vibrant red hair and pale skin stood out against the fabric of the robes.
Harry was looking at them, mouth agape. Hermione giggled at him and used a finger under his chin to close his mouth. Professor McGonagall spoke after a moment.
"Hm. That was a particularly inspired choice, if I say so myself. As I recall, royal blue isn't quite the Potter colors but for now it's fine."
James was looking at the robes with a pleased expression.
"On me, they look good, but on Lily… just wow! Maybe Harry should have a set of robes just like these for breakfast today and maybe Hermione, too. Yes, definitely Hermione too."
"Indeed, Mister Potter – or maybe Lord Potter?" The professor's voice was speculative, looking for information.
"I don't know yet, Professor, so maybe let's not tempt fate. Due to the circumstances of our return, Harry might be Lord Potter and not me. Harry, you did claim your House ring when you turned eleven, right?"
Harry gaped at him.
"Ring? What ring?"
James stared back at him. To Harry's side, Hermione looked just as confused.
"It's in our wills. You did read those, right?"
Harry didn't think he could look more confused but apparently he could.
"What wills? I never knew you had wills."
McGonagall looked upset, and James noticed.
"What don't I know, Minnie?"
He knew it was bad from her non-reaction to the nickname.
"Something just made sense to me from long ago. The Minister's Edict."
"What was that?"
She dropped into a chair and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I do believe we need to look into this more, but the Minister at the time of your… deaths… took the very rare step of using this power of the Office of the Minister for Magic to seal the wills of those known to be enemies of the state. So to speak, that is. I wondered about the reason young Mister Potter didn't have the wills with him when he arrived at Hogwarts and tried to find out. I was blocked at every turn, and so was the Headmaster. Even his station as the Chief Warlock couldn't overturn the Edict."
"Edict?" Harry's voice was befuddled, although from the look on James' face, it was clear that this wasn't a good thing. Professor McGonagall looked at him.
"It's something in the previous charter used before the Wizengamot came into being that carried over. The Minister for Magic can rule on an issue or take preemptive action on something in certain circumstances, and a time of war – civil or otherwise – is one of those."
"Okay, so what does that have to do with my parents' wills? Are you saying that somehow this was used to suppress them?"
"It's very possible."
"So you're saying that the Ministry didn't want me to read those wills? Not that I ever knew they existed, that is."
Lily had apparently awakened enough to hear this and the look on her face suggested that someone was going to pay. However, her stomach growled and she looked up, embarrassed at the grins on the faces of the other Potters. Hermione and Professor McGonagall kept straight faces. The older woman smoothly interrupted whatever James was about to say.
"I do believe that the discussion about wills should be tabled until later today. I came to escort you down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Since word will get out of your return sooner or later, it is of the opinion of both the Headmaster and myself that it should be on our terms and not some reporter. Besides, the elves have already heard of your return, Mrs. Potter," she nodded to Lily, "and having long memories, especially for their favorites, have decided that this morning will feature crepes and strawberries for you."
"What about me?" James was curious to know, since crepes had never been the most satisfying to him.
"I'm sure you'll be able to find something, Mister Potter."
-===(| - |)===-
Thirty-five minutes later, the three Potters and Hermione was gathering together down the corridor to the Great Hall. James and Lily had decided to wait for Harry and Hermione to change into matching robes. As Harry put on the House Potter robes, he felt himself standing taller as though there was was some kind of obscure magic imbued in these robes that answered to the Potter blood in his veins. He wondered, since it seemed likely to him.
When he saw Hermione in the same robes, he was blown away.
She stood taller too, it seemed. She was never going to be taller than maybe five and a half feet, if maybe an inch over, but the Potter robes seemed to give her three extra inches. He didn't know what it was, but Harry approved. Her skin was glowing and her hair sparkled. Harry looked again and was debating with himself about whether her hair was sparking or sparkling. Usually 'sparking' meant someone was about to feel the pain.
In any event, he decided to take the safer route. He had offered his arm as Hermione came down the stairs. She took it.
"You look lovely. You fit those robes as though you was meant to wear them."
She beamed at him.
"Maybe I was. Three elves with Potter crests on their little robes were so happy when they brought them to me and got me dressed in them. I thought two of them was going to drown in tears and the third seemed so full of pride to see me wearing them, I thought he was going to vibrate through the floor."
"Wait… what? Potter elves?"
"I think so. They wore the same crest as the ones on these robes. We'll see if we can find them again later. We have a McGonagall prank to pull now."
"A what?"
She grinned at him.
"You know this was her idea. The Headmaster would have been more secretive about it. Imagine the argument they must have had about it."
He shuddered. "I don't think I want to."
"And with one of the original Marauders involved, what else could it be but a prank?"
"Well, okay, you do have a point. But on who?"
She grinned again but didn't answer. They saw James and Lily just ahead. The two younger were greeted by the two elder with hugs. James spoke.
"So, daughter-in-law, are you ready to cast chaos, mayhem and havoc on the good order of Hogwarts?"
The question was punctuated by a slap on the back of his head, but he was laughing too hard at the look on Harry's face to notice. Lily traded long-suffering glances with Hermione, who at least was amused. The younger witch approached James and kissed him on the cheek.
"I think, father-in-law, you need some chaos, mayhem, and havoc of your own. Trust me, I can handle one Potter. Another won't be a problem at all."
Her wand twitched, unseen by James. Lily's eyes went wide. She bit her knuckles trying to hold back a sudden spurt of laughter. James stiffened.
"What did you do?"
She smirked at him – sweetly. Harry didn't know that was even possible, not after years of Malfoy's brand of smirks.
"It's very simple. I'm sowing chaos, mayhem, and havoc of my own, as you suggested. I thought that was some good advice, so I'm doing just that."
"But how?!" James couldn't detect anything wrong or anything that had changed.
"I'm not saying. Any good prankster never reveals her methods. That is unless the revelation is used for misdirection, in which case the mark is directed to somewhere or someone else."
James stewed but couldn't really argue with that. Lily's eyes were watering now from trying to hold back the laughter, since she was fairly sure what Hermione had done. There was something different in the spell chain she observed, but she was sure they would find out.
"Oh, and James?"
He looked at her, wondering what was next. Hermione's eyes sparkled.
"Mischief managed."
There was a burst of laughter from Harry, and James shot a look of betrayal toward him while wondering how they knew that phrase. That question could wait until later since they were about to enter the Great Hall.
"Everyone ready?"
Nods were exchanged all around and the younger of the group went in first. James and Lily followed.
At first, there was no reaction but when Harry and Hermione didn't go to their regular seats, some looked up. They noticed the pair following them but most of the students didn't know who they were. Ron looked up and dropped his fork. This was so unexpected – after all, just about everyone was convinced Ron had a fork grafted onto his hand instead of using the Hogwarts cutlery – that others looked at him. Seeing the surprise on his face, they looked at what he was staring at, but no one really understood what was the matter.
Ron, however, wasn't as stupid as everyone thought. He just acted stupid when he didn't engage his brain. In this case, he was thinking as hard as he possibly could. The pair behind him looked exactly like the picture that Harry had positioned on his nightstand for years now. The man looked like a slightly older version of Harry himself, and the woman with that auburn hair looked like…
"Oh, Merlin."
He shot to his feet, food forgotten, and stared. He watched as the two pairs strolled up to the staff table where Dumbledore was starting to stand. Even from here, Ron could see the massive twinkle in his eyes. What were they all up to? And McGonagall? She looked like a cat that got into the cream.
What was going on?
Others apart from the Gryffindor table had noticed his abrupt motion and looked, the noise of the Great Hall at breakfast quickly falling off as the Headmaster rose. Harry gave the Headmaster the quickest wink he could and broke off to stand across from Professor McGonagall with Hermione cuddled into him. Behind him, Harry heard a cut-off strangled noise.
Dumbledore's jovial voice cut into the silence.
"Well then. Mister Potter, Miss Granger, I take it you have something to announce in your own inimitable style?"
"You could say that, Professor." He turned to the other two. "It gives me great and untold pleasure after so long to present Lily and James Potter."
There was another strangled noise, which prompted Harry to peek out of the corner of his eye at Professor Snape. The potions master was white as a brand new bed sheet, making his hair and black robes actually stand out even more. He had to turn his attention back to the Headmaster's amused voice.
"Oh, my. Yes, this is a momentous occasion. Have you performed your due diligence in confirming their identity?"
"Of course, Headmaster. You were there, after all."
"So I was, indeed. The Sorting Hat is still a bit grumpy."
James snorted but didn't say anything since Dumbledore had continued to speak, this time to everyone else.
"I have to confirm Mister… well, young Mister Potter's account. Last night, I was called to his side, and that of Miss Granger, to witness the return of the Potters. I will not go into how that was accomplished, except to say that like many things at Hogwarts it involved Magic. I should specify that it was some of the Lightest Magic that I've ever encountered and was solely due to the power of Love itself."
There was a thump to his left as Professor Flitwick fell off his chair in his excitement. A moment later, he shot back into his chair with one of the largest grins anyone had ever seen on his face.
"I'm okay! Nothing wrong!"
The Headmaster nodded as if he expected this minor interruption.
"Now in the days ahead, there will be a great deal of speculation. Some of that will be mine, of course. I'm quite curious myself. However, do not pester any of the Potters or Miss Granger. If they wish to relate how this came about, they will. If not, don't push them. I trust I make myself clear?"
There was a faint murmur that rolled around the Great Hall. There was a sob from the half-giant at the end of the table. Lily broke from the group to go up to Hagrid and give him a hug.
"Lily, is it really you? And James?"
He meant to whisper, but this was Hagrid. His whisper could be heard at the other end of the Great Hall in the otherwise absolute silence.
"Yes, Hagrid, it's us. We've missed you."
The half-giant's eyes ran over and the tears disappeared into his bushy beard. Lily gave him another hug and a kiss on his brow. She stepped over to Professor Flitwick who flung his arms around her. There was something whispered between them which caused him to laugh and nod. She continued down the line to greet the instructors that she remembered until she got to the other end.
A dark brooding presence awaited her.
"Sev."
He stared at her. Snape raised a hand to her arm and all in the Great Hall could see that it shook. There was no comments at all from anyone at the sight, as everyone wanted to see what happened. She took it and squeezed tightly.
"Lily. I don't know what to believe and I refuse to parrot Hagrid."
A tear fell from his eye and he never noticed. His concentration on Lily was too great. She gently wiped the tear away from his face.
"Sev. I'm here. I'm back. We need to talk later, but I want to tell you now, in public."
"Tell me what?" His expression was bewildered. "Lily, what… How…"
Her words came out measured, if a bit fast.
"Sev, I forgive you for what you said after our argument long ago. There's too much happening, too much to deal with to hold grudges after so long. James and I both feel that way."
Snape looked over the edge as James walked over to stand at the raised platform that the staff table was placed on.
"And I have to apologize to you. I was a right git to you. There's been a lot of things that happened to us," motioning to himself and Lily, "in the afterlife that frankly took a lot of beating of my pride, but I have to take account of my own actions. I can't be Lord Potter and act like I did. In fact, I never should have. I'm sorry. Really."
Snape stared at him, mouth agape. Lily poked him.
"Well? He's being sincere."
"I… I have to think about it. Excuse me."
He looked at Lily again, dark eyes still wide and unbelieving. His hand was gently disengaged from hers, if a bit quickly. No one had ever seen Snape this pale before and everyone could see the tremble in his lower lip. With a swirl and a billow of his robes, he disappeared so quickly most would have been forgiven to think that he had disapparated from the Great Hall.
Lily glanced at Professor McGonagall who shrugged. Give him time, her posture seemed to say. She nodded and stepped down to hug her husband. They followed the other two to the Gryffindor table. Harry saw Ron and waved at him, but saw that there wasn't room enough for the four of them except at the end of the table. He shrugged and sat down. When he looked up, Ron had come down to sit with him.
"Harry, mate. Is this really…"
He looked gobsmacked as he spoke. Before Harry could answer, Lily spoke up.
"Yes, Ronald Weasley, it is. You and I have a little discussion coming too. Does dragons, age lines, and Triwizard Tournament ring a bell?"
Ron looked at the blazing green eyes and gulped. James put a calming hand on Lily's arm and shook his head at her.
"Sweets, that's for Harry to do. I'd say they've worked it out by now."
She sniffed and speared Ron with another glance, promising she wasn't done. Ron went as pale as the recently departed Potions Master. Ginny looked on with amusement but decided not to say anything.
"So, Potter, you got somebody to act as your poor excuses as parents? All they'd have to do was act like beggars, anyway. What did it take, whoring Granger out for a month? It wouldn't have been anything new. We would have paid lowest rates."
Harry had been hoping the day would go well, even with the expected complications from the returned pair. The snide voice belonging to Draco Malfoy was unmistakable and very much unwanted. His eyes lit up like Lily's and a hush fell over the hall. James looked at him.
"Well, son, do you want to do the honors, or should I?"
"How about both? He just insulted you, mum, me, and Hermione in the same breath."
"Sounds good to me. Let's go."
They started to stand up, only to see that in the time they took for the short discussion that Hermione had already stood up. Malfoy sneered as she walked up to him.
"Leave, Malfoy. Leave before you get hurt."
He sneered at her, a patented expression that most of the Gryffindor table had long been convinced had frozen on his face.
"Oh, please, Granger. Like you could do anything."
"Oh? Let me demonstrate what I can do."
There wasn't time for anyone to take another breath. A left jab slammed into his right eye. A right hook caught him in the stomach, continued up to meet her left hand behind his suddenly descending head, and jerked his head down on her left knee.
"Oh damn, Harry. Should we stop her?"
Harry stared at James.
"Do you really want to get into the middle of that?"
"Good point. Too bad there's no popcorn."
They watched as Malfoy's hands rushed up to clasp his now bloody nose as he snapped upright. Hermione's hands curled into talons as she grabbed his robes and jerked him into his space. He stumbled forward and a screech was heard as her right knee pistoned into his groin, twice. He curled up again and Hermione helped him to the floor with an elbow slamming into his back. She stomped on one of his ankles for good measure before straightening up and staring at the Slytherins.
"Anyone else have anything else to say?"
Her hair was flying everywhere. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were shining in the heat of battle and her hands were still curled into the talons that had dispatched Malfoy. Hermione's voice rose into an enraged shout.
"loDHom quv, pagh QIchlIj vIlaghchoHtaHvIS, jIQublaHchugh!"
Harry simply couldn't help it. He barked a laugh at Hermione's theatrics and figured he had a golden opportunity. He slammed his fists on the table, ignoring the startled looks of the others there.
"QI'yaH! Qapla'!"
It was the only thing he could remember from the Klingon language dictionary he'd read in Surrey one summer for a laugh. He was was pretty sure no one would get it here, and frankly he had no idea what Hermione had shouted. To his surprise, there was scattered pockets of laughter and maybe ten or twelve pairs of fists impacting the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables. They echoed what he'd spouted off, banging on the tables and rattling dishes. To his shock, Professor Flitwick was doing the same thing at the staff table, shouting in Klingon, and grinning like a pint-sized madman. He seemed fluent, and Harry resolved to ask him about it later.
Dumbledore just twinkled madly, although the other professors looked completely lost and a bit worried at the violence.
Hermione blushed. She had no idea what prompted her to say that, but she had been so mad at the smarmy blond that it just burst out of her. The Slytherin table was still looking at her a bit afraid, while Malfoy groaned at her feet. She kicked him hard in the ribs and turned back to her seat, escorted by guttural shouts.
"So what was that, my lovely Klingon warrior?" Harry murmured.
"Well, I had to say something."
Thankfully, the distraction of Hermione's beatdown of Malfoy and his subsequent dragging off to the Hospital Wing covered their meal and escape from the Great Hall. It was safe to say that the re-introduction of James and Lily Potter would be talked about for a while.