**BPOV**
Edward and I were enjoying a sunny afternoon in our meadow. He was laying on the ground on a blanket of violet-hued aster blossoms. His face, otherworldly in its beauty, glittered like diamonds in the sunlight, and his eyes were closed. I laid beside him, my head resting on his silent chest. He had one arm wrapped around me, and his other hand was resting on his stomach. My fingers idly traced little swirls on the back of his hand.
"I was thinking," Edward's velvet voice broke the comfortable silence, "I want to try a little experiment."
"What kind of experiment?" I had asked him warily.
"Remember when you asked me for a human weekend?"
Not liking where this was heading, I said, "I remember what a horrible idea that was. Go on."
He chuckled, and sat up slightly and rubbed my back in request for me to do the same. I begrudgingly sat up and crossed my legs under me so I could look at him properly.
"I don't want you to take this as me not wanting to spend as much time with you…," he began, and my heart started thundering. He heard the difference.
"Hey," he crooned, tilting my chin up with his finger so he could see my panicking face. "Please don't be upset. Just let me finish what I was saying before you jump to conclusions. This is nothing bad. I promise."
I looked at him doubtfully and chewed my lip. How could anything that resulted in us spending less time together be anything other than bad?
He read the skepticism in my face and in my silence; I heard him sigh.
"Bella, you are the center of my universe." After a short pause he said softly, slowly, and in his most emphatic voice, "I am never leaving you again." It was impossible to doubt the sincerity I heard there, but I'd thought that same thing once before.
"What is your experiment?" I snapped.
"Well, I was just thinking about what you said the other night. About how you're never alone."
I flushed instantly, remembering the context of that particular conversation. He chuckled at my traitorous skin and ever so slightly stroked my cheekbone with the back of his hand.
"That wasn't a complaint, you know!" I scowled, still not liking where this was going.
"I know, I know," he laughed, but continued. "But I couldn't help but think about how true that is, and about all the things you're missing out on because you spend all of your time with me. And that's not a complaint, either," he hastily qualified.
"I'm not missing out on anything," I argued stubbornly. "The outside world holds no interest for me without you," I quoted him.
"Bella," he said more sternly now, probably annoyed that I'd thrown his own words back in his face. "When was the last time you read a new book? Or tried out a new recipe? Or went out with your friends?"
"You sound like Charlie," I said in mild disgust.
"And he's not wrong!" Edward countered just a bit louder. He seemed to realize that and said in a softer tone, "I don't want to spend less time with you. That's not what this is about. I want you to spend more time doing the things you love, the things that make you Bella, " he reached out and cupped the side of my face. I leaned into his hand, then turned my head and kissed the smooth stone of his palm.
I looked at him, unmoved, and said nothing. He laughed again, this time there was a hard edge to it.
"How about this, since you brought up Charlie. You know how much he hates how much time we spend together. He thinks I monopolize all your time to the detriment of your other relationships, and he's not wrong about that either. He was recently thinking about staging an intervention where he talked to you about how to know when you're in an abusive relationship."
My eyes widened in surprise. "He wouldn't dare!" I gasped, infuriated at the very idea.
"Oh, he would," Edward disagreed. "He's seen it all too many times before where a poor young girl is controlled and manipulated by some guy. He isolates her, gets her to break away from family and friends, and that's when the violence usually starts," Edward's face was downcast, his eyes doleful.
"He'd never forgive himself if something like that happened to you and he did nothing to prevent it. And if that's not enough of a reason for you...I would really like it if Charlie didn't hate me. He's about to be my father-in-law after all, and this is one small thing you could do that would boost his opinion of me." He unleashed the full power of his eyes on me.
I sighed in capitulation. Edward asked so little of me. I could do this for him.
"You should have led with that instead of trying to make it about me! Did you really think a new book would be enough to keep me away from you?" I snorted at him incredulously.
"I sure hoped it would," he half-smiled. "The whole abusive boyfriend narrative isn't exactly a flattering comparison. Particularly when you are as clumsy as you are, and you bruise like a peach," he glared at me accusingly.
I cringed. I couldn't argue with him there.
"Ok, I will make more of an appreciable effort to spend more time pursuing other activities, on one condition," I put my poker face on.
"What's your condition?" Edward raised an eyebrow and wore an amused smirk on his perfect face.
"That you still spend nights in my room, since Charlie doesn't even know you're there to begin with," I reasoned.
He pretended to think about it. "Oh, alright. You drive a hard bargain," I was rewarded with my favorite crooked smile.
That conversation was the reason I was currently sitting on the couch watching a rerun of NCIS with Charlie.
"So no Edward tonight, huh? You two fighting or something?" Charlie gave me a sideways glance before taking a swig of beer and swallowing it loudly.
"Edward thinks I don't spend enough time with my friends and pursuing my hobbies," I stated, holding up my new book. It was the sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird that I didn't even know existed. Like a soap doll in a tree trunk, the paperback had appeared on my pillow with a note that read:
Thought you could use some new reading material. From someone who has experience being dragged out of the darkness by a curious girl, thank you, always, for sharing the radiance of your light. Love,Your Boo
Charlie had a look of surprise. "Well that's decent of him," he admitted with a small smile. "Nice to know you'll listen to your boyfriend but not your dear ol' dad," Charlie rolled his eyes and then lurched forward to grab an issue of Sports Illustrated off the coffee table, rolled it up, and playfully whacked me on the arm with it.
It was hard for me to stay mad at Charlie when I knew that in his own way, he had been just as traumatized by Edward leaving as I had been, because when Edward left me, I left Charlie. Maybe not in the physical sense, but certainly in a figurative one. Knowing how difficult it still was for me to believe that Edward wouldn't just disappear again, Charlie had to have the same fears.
My heart ached knowing that in the very near future I would have to leave Charlie for good, and I was suddenly glad for my imposed Edward-free time. With Edward around, I was like a moth to a flame. It was hard for me to be aware of anything or anyone else when he was near. Without him, hard as it was for me, it was easier for my eyes to adjust to my other priorities.
"How's Sue doing? Are you two 'a thing,' yet?"
Charlie looked at me and took another swig of his beer. He was about as comfortable talking to me about his love life as I was talking to him about mine.
"It's only been a few months since Harry passed. We're taking things very slow."
It was hard to believe that only such a short time had passed since the turn of events that had precipitated Edward going to the Volturi to end his life. I internally shuddered thinking of what a close call that had been. It felt like a short lifetime had passed since Edward had come back to me.
"Well don't take it too slow. Life is too short, and you two are good for each other. Why don't you ask her over for dinner this week? I'll make something special." I smiled at him encouragingly. I was suddenly desperate to know that he'd be taken care of after I was gone from his life.
"Uh, okay, sure. I'll call her tomorrow. Thanks, kid!" He reached over and ruffled my hair. He wore a tired smile, but there was a spark of something else behind the warm brown eyes that matched mine exactly.
"Anytime, Dad."
**EPOV**
I was in my room, on my laptop researching restaurants to take Bella to on our date night when I heard Alice's footsteps stop outside my door.
Knock Knock, she thought.
"C'mon in Alice." I replied, without looking up from the screen.
"Did you have a nice time with Bella," Alice asked in a neutral tone.
"I always do," I replied mildly.
Navy, cornflower, cerulean, indigo, azure, sapphire, royal, baby, sky, robin's egg...
"Alice, you are reciting the shades of blue in your head. What are you keeping from me?" I said in a flat voice.
Aqua, turquoise, ocean, midnight-
"You came to my door, remember?" I gritted in annoyance.
"I just wanted to ask you if Bella is doing any better?" Alice's mental focus slipped, and for a fraction of a second, a memory of Bella crying in my mother's arms flashed in Alice's head. My whole body tensed.
"What was that, Alice?" My voice was razor-edged.
Cobalt, teal, lapis, slate, Prussian.
"Alice!" I growled.
Jasper appeared by her side in an instant, not at all happy about the aggressive tone I'd used with her.
"It's fine, Jazzy. Edward is always extra cantankerous when he has his nose rubbed in the mess he's made," Alice said in a clipped voice. Jasper nodded in understanding. I felt a wave of calm pass over me before he drifted back out of the room.
In my most persuasive voice, I asked, "What did I just see, Alice?"
"The reason I'm standing here, Edward. She just didn't seem all that great when she was here. I was trying to spare you the visuals so you wouldn't be all miserable with yourself, but if you insist on poking around in my head, don't blame me for what you see."
If I had nickel for every time I'd heard that. I rolled my eyes at her, as if I had any choice but to see and hear the thoughts of other people.
Alice sighed impatiently. Don't overreact. She was just letting out some of the poison you filled her head with. It's a good thing, really. If she's talking, she's healing.
The memory of Bella returned. Her shattered voice filled my head.
"...And waiting for Edward to leave me again is like...being cured of cancer, but spending all my time terrified that it will come back."
The words cut me to the core. Jane's sadistic gift felt like a warm hug in comparison to seeing the hurt I'd caused the one person I loved more than anyone or anything else in this world combined. If I hadn't already been sitting, I would've dropped to my knees. I slumped over where I sat, elbows on my knees, head in my heads. I tugged ruthlessly at the ends of my hair.
"What do I do, Alice? How do I fix this?" My voice was a ragged whisper.
"All you can do is what you're already doing, Edward. She's already forgiven you, she just doesn't trust you. There are no magic words or gestures that can erase what's been done. All you can do is keep showing up for her, and eventually you'll gain her trust back," Alice put a comforting hand on my shoulder. It was more than I deserved.
I placed my hand over hers, and met her sympathetic gaze with despairing eyes.
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you, Alice. I know you love her, too. I was a fool for thinking I could bet against you."
"And don't you forget it!" She quipped, giving my shoulder a little squeeze, and then left me to the hellfire of my guilt.
**BPOV**
I had just gotten out of the shower and was standing in front of the mirror wearing nothing but a towel and tugging a hairbrush through my damp hair. I was rushing because I was expecting Edward to appear at my bedroom window at any moment. I looked around the small steamy bathroom for my pajamas, and remembered with a muttered curse that I had left them on my dresser.
I double checked that my towel was secure and that Charlie wasn't in the hallway and darted back to my room. I quickly surveyed the room for Edward in his usual spots, the rocker and the bed, and when I didn't see him, I let myself in the door and closed it quickly behind me.
From somewhere to my right, I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath. My eyes squeezed shut in utter mortification. I'd missed him sitting at my desk near the door. I slowly turned around and Edward was in front me, eyes averted, my forgotten pajamas held out in his extended hand.
I took them from him, my fingers brushing against his. I looked at him then, with his head turned away, his jaw clenched tight. Why was I so embarrassed? This man was going to be my husband, and wasn't I always asking, no begging, for more physical intimacy from him?
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I should have noticed that you forgot to take your clothes with you."
I took a step toward him and placed a hand on his face, trying to turn it in my direction. I might as well have been trying to reposition the Statue of David.
"Hey, Edward, it's ok. You can look," I said in my bravest voice.
His eyes widened, but his gazed stayed locked on some spot on the wall.
"I'm pretty sure that would be the very definition of going 0 to 100, love," Edward's voice was strained.
"They're just shoulders and knees. I wasn't wearing much more than this when you took me to Prom," I shrugged, which is an unwise thing to do when you're wearing a towel. It hadn't fallen, just loosened a bit, but I quickly moved to refasten the towel around my bust.
Ever so slowly, his head turned to face me, but his eyes never dipped below my face. His expression was pained. My brow furrowed not understanding the weird energy in the room or why he looked like that.
"What did I miss?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light.
"Why don't you go put those on," he nodded to the pajamas in my hand, "and then we can talk. It's too hard to form words when you're standing there looking like an Aphrodite incarnate," his onyx eyes blazed.
I blushed at the compliment, and was about to do just that, but then I had an idea. I stepped even closer to him, the front of my towel was pressed up against him now. I kissed him, and he kissed me back quickly, then pulled away.
"Bella," his tone cautioned me.
"First gear," I whispered huskily.
I took his hand and placed it on the exposed skin over my heart, just above where my towel was cinched. Edward's breath hitched in his throat. I know he could hear my heart pounding, and now he could feel it beneath his cool fingers. He stared at his hand on my skin as if mesmerized.
"It's loud, and clumsy, and it too is yours," I breathed. That broke him out of his trance.
Before my eyes could process that he had even moved, Edward's arms were around me. His iron hold kept me from so much as twitching a muscle. His breath came in icy ragged gasps, his body was trembling, and somehow I just knew that if he had been human, he'd be sobbing.
A/N: This one really got away from me! Lovely readers, I would love your feedback on something. I've been keeping it pretty PG-13 because I try to stay true to canon (and I'm a giant coward.) But if you think I should try my hand at making some lemonade, let me know in the comments. Like Edward, I wanna know what you think! Thanks for reading and reviewing!