a/n: hiiii everyone! i think i've caught up on replies, at least on ffn lol, but i also know that ffn's PMing system is messed up so i'm sorry if you didn't get notifcations! i promise i replied to as much of you as i could! to the Guests who have reviewed, i'm sorry i couldn't message you guys privately, but i definitely saw your comments and i loved reading them! please enjoy this chapter!

Ch 08 || Bone Deep

Hikari didn't know what it was that Yamato's group had found, but she could feel it deep in her bones that it wasn't going to be good.

Everything about this trip wasn't good. It wasn't good at all.

They hadn't heard back from Yamato since he sent the coordinates, so it was decided that they didn't have much time to waste. They needed to reach Yamato's location and see what was wrong.

It was also decided (although silently) not to travel too high off the ground. Her brother and Sora climbed aboard Birdramon's talons but they didn't go nearly as high up as before, and Nefertimon traveled by land. Angemon stayed close to her, but Takeru joined Hikari on Nefertimon, and—aside from vocally fretting about his older brother—he was so casual and normal that it filled her with dread.

Someone didn't act normal after falling from the sky.

He'd plummeted for at least thirty or so feet before Angemon caught him, and the sound of his horrified screams was permanently engraved in her brain. She'd never heard him scream like that—all primal, vulnerable terror—and when they all reached Angemon, he was near-inconsolable. Takeru hadn't even acknowledged her when she begged for him to listen to her.

His arms were hooked around her waist now as Nefertimon ran, but the chills snaking up and down her spine would not fade.

None of them spoke as they rushed to Yamato's location. The silence was louder than she thought possible.

That meant, unfortunately, that Hikari was forced to listen to her thoughts.

She tried to focus on anything else. The sway of her body as Nefertimon propelled them across the field like a majestic lioness pursuing her meal. The song of the wind as it whirled in her ears. The erratic rhythm of her heart, pulsing hot, hot blood through her veins. Takeru's arms on her waist, holding on tight but not uncomfortably so.

Not like… not like the death grip he'd had on her before going catatonic. That had scared her so deeply that the physical sensations of her fear still lingered in her body.

"Do you know how much farther do you think Nii-san is?" Takeru asked her suddenly.

"No, I don't," Hikari said regretfully. "But Sora said just to follow her."

"It should be close," Nefertimon said. "Our designated areas weren't too far apart from each other."

"That's a good thing, though, right?" Takeru said. "We can get to them faster."

"I think it's a good thing," Hikari told him, trying to keep her voice light. "Maybe they found something… positive?"

It was wishful thinking, and Hikari knew that. The uncertain, grave expressions on Taichi's and Sora's faces proved that, and although she'd tried not to draw attention to it for Takeru's sake, it bothered her immensely.

"Let's just hope it's a positive thing, then," Takeru said, almost reassuringly. "What's wrong with thinking optimistically?"

Usually, his optimism was refreshing. Takeru, like she had told Taichi in the past, was a gentle soul, and his hopefulness was contagious. Now, it only confused her despite the fact that she so desperately wanted to believe him.

"Yeah," she murmured, digging her fingers into Nefertimon's fur without looking at him. "Let's hope for the best."

It was hard when she was so incredibly worried. Not just for her best friend, but for the digital world as well. Who knew what they were going to see once they arrived? And… and they'd been so close to the forest when Takeru started acting strangely. Did that have anything to do with his behavior, or was it a simple coincidence?

"Are you cold?" Takeru asked her in a quiet voice. "You're… you're shaking."

Shaking. He'd been shaking so hard earlier, like something deep inside him had come unhinged and made his entire body dangerously unstable. Like nothing existed to keep him together.

"I'm ok," Hikari said.

"You won't look at me."

It was gentle. Not quite an accusation, but laced with hurt nonetheless. Finally, Hikari craned her neck over her shoulder to read his expression, and her heart throbbed when she saw the aching confusion woven into his expression.

"Nii-san's been doing the same thing," Takeru went on in that same quiet voice, and the only reason she heard him at all was because of their close proximity. "And… and Taichi and Sora… they looked at me the same. It's… it's weird. I just… if I did something wrong, can I at least know what it is so I can apologize?"

"Takeru…" She trailed off, not sure what to say. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Her mind was whirling. She ached to tell him the truth, to be completely honest with him, because he deserved that. But… but her brother had told her how conflicted Yamato had been, and that was why she'd had him wait outside.

"I wonder if Nii-san's changed his mind," Takeru whispered. "He says he won't, but… everyone's acting so weird around me. I don't get it."

"We're just worried about you," Hikari blurted. "Yamato's worried. You've… you've been through a lot recently, and… he's worried about you."

She had to stop herself from spilling too much, even though she hated herself for keeping secrets from him. It was obvious by his fearful, vulnerable tone that he was confused and hurting, and that told her he couldn't be lying to her.

"But…" Takeru hesitated, resting his chin on her other shoulder so she could no longer see his expression. "...but why? He dodges the question every time I try to talk about it."

"I don't know, Takeru," she told him, and it was true. "Maybe it's best you hear from him, but I promise you that he hasn't changed his mind. At least believe in that, please? Nii-san literally told me that they talk about it a lot. He wants you where you are." She blinked back tears. "We all do."

She wasn't the only one shaking. Or maybe it was the adrenaline from earlier, coming back with a vengeance and stealing her rationality. Maybe she was mistaken, and her own unsteady heartbeat and thrumming blood were clouding her sense of reality—telling her that he was the unsteady one, but maybe there was something unhinged in her body that threatened to cause everything to come apart.

"I want to be here, too," Takeru said, breath ghosting against her shirt. "Thanks, Hikari."

She wasn't sure she did anything to help—was certain, actually, that she was only able to make things worse without coming clean to him—but his voice was sincere now. Like his anxieties had been put at ease.

So she smiled, even if he didn't look to see, and tried to locate the broken thing inside her. Wanted to fix it, to keep herself together, just so Takeru didn't feel so inadequate or unwanted ever again.

"There they are," Taichi called. "I see them!"

"I see them, too," Nefertimon responded.

Angemon had been mysteriously quiet—perhaps in his own little world, worried about Takeru just like the rest of them or simply allowing them privacy to have a conversation—but when he finally did say something he spoke so easily and effortlessly: "Something isn't right here."

The implication of those words was anything but easy and effortless. It was enough to freeze Hikari in place, disabling her ability to think rationally. It was enough to make her wonder if she could fix what was wrong with her—if the brokenness was bone-deep. Irremediable. Like a parasite that had done so much damage that recovery was now impossible.

"I agree," Nefertimon said, slowing her pace even though they were still a good distance behind Birdramon. "Something… something is in the air. Like… it's tainted with something."

"That's not good," Takeru said.

"No," Hikari said wobbly, reaching for her midsection to place a hand on his arm. She was hopelessly confused about the incident earlier, but his presence was comforting all the same. "It's not."

Soon, they arrived at their destination—a once-thriving, peaceful village that had been decimated by Mirrormon's untamed power. It used to house many beautiful gardens and was home to countless Floramon.

Hikari hadn't been around to marvel in its beauty before Mirrormon appeared to steal it. She remembered running up and wondering how long it had taken the Floramon to create such a lovely garden, and how much work it had taken to weave houses in its depths. The garden, after all, had been much larger than anything she'd ever seen—like something straight out of a storybook.

It had been so colorful. Whimsical. Mythical.

Now, well… now it was in ruins, and the Floramon had to be evacuated, forced to start all over again in an area their partners had deemed safe, far from Mirrormon's destructive grasp.

Just as she hadn't able to appreciate its elegance, she hadn't been able to stay after it was burned to the ground. They couldn't even stay long enough to save it—the only way to draw Mirrormon's attention away from the Floramon was to replace them as targets.

Even weeks after the destruction, it smelled of ash and charred plantlife. A tiny part of Hikari wondered how such a scent would linger for so long, but the wave of devastating despair that swept through her scattered those thoughts.

For a magical, otherworldly place to turn into this… it was heart-wrenching.

"This is awful," Hikari murmured, tears gathering in her eyes. "I… how could he have done this and felt nothing?"

"We were hoping to safe you from the grief of seeing the damage," Nefertimon said gently. "That's why we agreed to do all of the patrols all by ourselves."

"We were, however, unable to find a way to restore this area," Angemon said, sounding equally remorseful. "This is where he spawned, after all. If we'd just been able to stop him before he digivolved and caused this much damage…"

"At least we got him away to save the Floramon," Takeru said, though his voice was odd. Choked. Hikari didn't blame him in the slightest for being upset.

"Yeah, but then he went after another village," Hikari said. "And then he scattered us and toyed with us like prey animals."

"He enjoyed seeing everyone afraid." Takeru's voice was quieter now. Almost robotic. "He liked seeing people squirm, seeing them run… maybe he only went after us because he grew tired of the weaker digimon."

"What a horrible digimon."

She didn't like to insult the creatures whom she grew up protecting. Especially because of the bond she shared with the digimon beneath her, and because this world was how she became close to the people around her.

But… but as much as she hated to admit it, some digimon were cruel. Some were born with malevolent desires and the raw, instinctive urge to destroy. It was a harsh truth, but it was the truth all the same.

"I wish we knew more about him," Angemon said. "But I've seen no other digimon like him."

"Same here," Nefertimon murmured.

"Hikari," Taichi's voice called countless meters ahead of her. "Takeru! Is everything ok?!"

"We're fine," Hikari answered. And then, to Nefertimon: "They're waiting on us."

"Right," her partner said, picking up her pace again.

The first thing she noticed upon getting closer to the group of Chosen was that Koushiro's group had beat them here. That shouldn't have been a surprise—all three areas weren't too far from each other, but the forest was the farthest from Mirrormon's point of origin. Of course they'd arrived first.

The second thing she noticed was that Jou and Ken were struggling to hold Yamato back. Taichi and Sora had quickly rushed to help, although Yamato didn't seem to notice in the slightest.

Yamato, whose expression was absolutely murderous.

"I can't believe you wouldn't let me go after him," Yamato was hissing, struggling against their hold like an animal trying to free itself from a cage. "I can't believe you wouldn't let me leave."

"I-it wasn't that we wanted to prevent you, Yamato," Jou stammered. "It just… it wouldn't have been wise to go alone when we agreed to stay in groups—"

"You know damn well I wasn't alone," Yamato snapped. "Gabumon's right here—don't you freaking touch me, Yagami. I'm pretty pissed at you right now. You're lucky you're still standing."

"Yamato—" Sora began.

"You swore you'd take care of him," Yamato went on, venom dripping from every word. "You swore and you still let him fall—"

Hikari went still with paralytic terror. Very rarely had she seen Yamato like this, and very rarely had she seen her brother on the receiving end of his wrath. She was frozen in her place on Nefertimon, legs locked, fingers coiled tightly into her partner's fur.

Takeru, however, seemed to feel no such limitations. He slid off Nefertimon and bolted toward Yamato like he was saving him from being hit by a moving vehicle, and as he moved, he cried out, "Nii-san, stop!"

A hush fell among the group, and when Takeru's arms went around Yamato, everyone else released him and backed up to give them space.

Nefertimon was inching closer still, slow and silent, and Hikari could not bring herself to move. Her senses felt sharper than they'd ever been before, and yet way too dull. It was as though she couldn't see Takeru even though he was right in front of her, and yet her eyes were able to trace every shudder that claimed his body.

She felt like she was on the other end of a television screen, watching a dramatic scene unfold. The line between real and fiction suddenly seemed so, so thin.

"Stop," Takeru repeated. "Please…"

Yamato went boneless, but with relief or shock, Hikari wasn't certain. The rage seeped out of him like a pus-filled wound finally being drained and cleansed of all impurities.

"They said you fell," Yamato murmured, like it was just the two of them present. Like the rest of them weren't even there. "But… but you're… you're fine, right? I mean, you're moving… breathing…"

Takeru remained silent, but he didn't let go of Yamato. Sora's voice drifted through the group: "He doesn't remember, Yamato."

"Oh."

"I… I think I do, now," Takeru said shakily. "It's—it's really fuzzy."

Hikari's body had been torn apart by indecision. She wanted to know what Takeru meant by that statement, but they'd come here for a reason—and though she could argue with herself all day, it seemed Takeru knew it, too.

"...but that's not why we're here," Takeru said, pulling away to look at him. Nefertimon finally came to a stop and Hikari watched as he hovered next to Yamato, ready to jump in again if he teetered again toward violence. "They… they said you found something?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," Yamato said. "I knew it wasn't safe here. I knew it—"

"Yamato—" Sora started again.

"Nii-san, it does matter," Takeru interrupted firmly. "I'm a part of this team, too, and I wanted to come. We have to see what you guys found."

"Takeru," Yamato said, gentle but in warning. "I don't think it's a good idea."

Takeru backed up like he'd been struck. Hikari's heart throbbed again like it'd been thrown into the fissure that divided her emotions and had finally reached the bottom.

"You don't think it's a good idea," Takeru repeated, quiet but suddenly stoic and very unlike Takeru. "You… you don't think it's a good idea. Don't you trust me to make my own decisions? Or are you deciding everything for me? Just like Mom?"

People were starting to back away, and Hikari saw out of the corner of her eye that Jou was gesturing the rest of them off to one side. It was obvious these two needed to be alone, and yet…

Yet Hikari was frozen still. Warmth trickled down her cheeks and she still couldn't move. Couldn't look away. It wasn't until Miyako and Taichi came over to her and her brother murmured, "Jou's gonna show us what they found. We have to let them work this out…"

She'd never seen, in all of her years as Takeru's best friend, Takeru talk back to Yamato like this. She'd never witnessed them fight. She thought they'd never fight—despite the fact that she knew all siblings did, even her and Taichi.

"C'mon," Miyako said, tugging on her hand. "If you don't let Nefertimon move, you'll fall off…"

Fall off. Just like Takeru had. Just like Takeru, she felt like she was plummeting. Taichi and Miyako led her away but even though her body was getting far and far away from the two brothers, her mind lingered where she had been frozen.

"Will they be ok?" she whispered, choking on a sob.

"They'll be ok," Taichi reassured gently, squeezing her other hand. "But we need to let them work it out… c'mon. Let's go."

It hurt to leave them. She felt as if she'd lost something without knowing what it was, and it left her stranded. Hollow.

That unhinged part of her finally broke clean apart. The rest of her was sure to follow.

The words came out so unexpectedly.

Takeru tried, unsuccessfully, not to let his emotions speak for him. He didn't want his emotions to control him. Not here. Not in front of Yamato.

But that was exactly what just happened. Something—hurt, fear, or maybe even anger, though he never thought he could be angry at his own brother—had buried itself inside him, rooted deep in his bones, and though the rush of anger had been small, it was enough to get him to snap.

He hadn't wanted to. He hadn't wanted to yell at his brother. It was like someone else had spoken for him. The unknown something in him was like a puppeteer in the making, learning which threads to pull and when.

Yamato had been the target.

Yamato, who looked so crushed by the words that the blow could have been fatal. Regret flooded through Takeru the moment he saw that awful expression, the very instant he saw the pain in Yamato's eyes.

"I shouldn't have said that," Takeru said, his face crumbling. "Nii-san. Oh my… I'm so sorry, Nii-san. I shouldn't have—"

"I can't imagine insulting the person who opened up their home to me."

His voice broke as the words echoed in his mind. The regret mixed with raw panic as he fought to remember just when he'd said it, but he couldn't

"I'm sorry," Takeru repeated frantically. "I can't believe I said that. I can't—Nii-san, you welcomed me into your house and I said that."

"Kiddo, no," Yamato said, quiet and breathless. "You're right."

"No, I'm not. I'm not right. I'm being an ungrateful brat."

"Takeru, you're the least ungrateful person that I know," Yamato said. "Trust me."

"I can see it all over your face," Takeru said, wiping his eyes to stubbornly keep the tears from falling.

"See what?"

"That I hurt you!"

His knees buckled and he sank to the ground, half relieved that their friends had decided to leave him alone and half guilty that he'd driven them away.

Yamato, however, just sank with him. "Takeru…"

"I'm sorry," he rambled on, like it was all he knew how to say.

"Takeru, you've no reason to be sorry," Yamato said. "Look at me."

He wouldn't. He didn't want to see that devastated expression. He didn't want to see the damage he'd caused.

"I… I'm sorry," Yamato went on when he didn't speak or glance up. "I'm not meaning to suffocate you."

"You're not suffocating me," Takeru mumbled. "You're the only one out of the three of you that cares about me."

"That's not true," Yamato said, resting his chin on Takeru's head like the action was as natural as the act of breathing. "Mom and Dad care about you."

"They sure have a funny way of showing it."

"They sure do, huh?" Yamato said. "I'm sorry, Teek. I didn't mean to imply that you can't speak for yourself. You've got a voice. Of course you do. You're just… you're the only little brother I got, can you blame me for wanting to keep you safe? Especially because…"

Yamato stiffened, and Takeru finally looked up at him. His expression bled now worry and dread, and the emotions were so overwhelming that Takeru couldn't find the words to put Yamato at ease.

"Sora said you don't remember falling," Yamato finished softly.

"It's… it's really weird," Takeru began hesitantly, struggling to find a way to explain the experience. It was still surreal to him. "I… I sort of… think I remember? But it feels… more like a dream, not a real memory. I don't know. It felt like… I was asleep."

Something had Yamato deeply, irreversibly afraid. Maybe it was the same something that had made Takeru blurt those stupid words so impulsively. He had no way to be sure, but fear was contagious. Infectious. It spread and spread like an uncontrolled disease.

"...are we ok now?" Takeru said. "Can we go catch up with the others?"

Yamato was silent. Takeru's heart thumped and thumped, growing faster by the second.

"Nii-san?"

"We're ok, Takeru. I promise."

But he hadn't answered the other question. Takeru waited and waited, but nothing followed those words.

"You're scaring me, Nii-san," Takeru whispered.

Once more, Yamato didn't answer right away. Instead, he just sat there stiffly, radiating all kinds of emotions that, inevitably, spread with the fear.

"...you're scaring me, too," Yamato said eventually, his voice so careful and quiet. Like the confession itself was made of glass that could harm them both if it broke during its delivery.

Takeru inhaled slowly. Tremulously. His heart pounded. Pounded. Tried to break through his ribcage in hopes of destroying the roots of whatever existed in his bones. The something inside him twitched and waited, but did not act. Did not pick up the threads again.

All of a sudden, he felt homesick. He wished he hadn't argued with Yamato at all, but instead followed his wishes to leave. He knew they had to join their friends to see just what his brother's group had discovered, but thinking about it only gave him an eerie, terrifying sense of impending doom.

Takeru swallowed. "I'm scaring me."