A/N: I had a little time to write, and while I am still going to do my best to update weekly, the days of my updates may not always be consistent. Anyway, here we have the team Christmas party, and Jenny makes a very important decision. Hope you enjoy!

On the day of the Christmas party, the snow fell so heavily and the wind whipped around them so strongly that the power was knocked out at almost 3 in the afternoon. Jenny sighed as her office was plunged into darkness, rolling her eyes as she reached for her cell phone only to hear a soft knock on the door moments later.

"Excuse me, Director. I know you're aware, but since the power is out, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

The redhead smiled, giving her assistant a nod.

"I'm fine. Thank you, Cynthia. Feel free to take a break and get some coffee or anything you want."

"Thank you, ma'am."

Cynthia backed out of the office, and less than a minute later, the door was opened again, causing Jenny to shake her head in amusement.

"Yes, Jethro?"

"Power's out."

She rolled her eyes, staring at him as though he were the dumbest person she'd ever encountered.

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

He nodded, not phased by her sarcasm.

"Yep. Thought maybe the darkness would be a clue."

"It might have given me a vague idea, yes."

Laughing quietly, he made his way to her desk, placing his hands in her hair, using the pads of his fingers to massage her scalp gently. She smiled, tipping her head back slowly, and her voice was low when she spoke.

"How much money do I have to pay you so that you'll do that for the rest of my life?"

He smirked, leaning down to kiss her cheek, combing his fingers through her hair.

"You couldn't afford it. Lucky for you, I'm feeling generous today."

Jenny laughed quietly, turning her chair so that she was facing him, and as she stood up, her eyes met his, bright in the darkness.

"So you're saying there's no charge?"

He shook his head.

"I'm saying the price has been renegotiated. It's something much more valuable than money."

She frowned, but as soon as his lips met hers, Jenny understood. Pulling him closer using his jacket as leverage, she smiled as his hands found her waist, holding her as close as he possibly could. His tongue swept into her mouth as he deepened the kiss, and her own hands tangled in his hair. She could feel her body growing warmer in his embrace, a welcome change from the cold that had begun to set in once the electricity had gone out, and when his hand trailed down her side, she shivered.

Her body was screaming to be touched, and when Gibbs brought his lips to her throat, she fought to stay quiet, biting down on her bottom lip to stifle a moan. He turned her so that she was facing the door, backing her into the wall, and when his hands slipped under her shirt, she gasped, her head falling back slowly.

"Jethro?"

He glanced at her just long enough to show that he was listening, running his tongue over her skin slowly. A soft moan fell from her lips as she gripped his arm, and he fought the urge to smile, focusing instead on thinking of ways he could make sure he heard it again. She took a shaking breath, trying to remember what she'd been going to say.

"Touch me," she whispered, her hands sliding under his jacket.

Though he wanted nothing more than to do as she asked, Gibbs also knew how Jenny's mind worked, and he frowned as he pulled back to look at her.

"You're sure? We are in your office, in the middle of a work day."

"And the power is out, your team is downstairs, and Cynthia's on her break," she countered, kissing him again, "Please, Jethro...I need to feel your hands on me."

Searching her eyes for any sign of hesitation, he slowly nodded as he found nothing, and kissed her again, harder than before. Her eyes closed tightly as he moved his right hand past the waistband of her slacks, easily bypassing her underwear, and as soon as his fingers touched her, Jenny bit down on her lip. His erection pressed into her thigh as he pulled her closer, turning her on even more, and when his fingers slid into her, Jenny moaned quietly.

His left hand was braced on the wall behind her as he touched her with his right, supporting his weight, and when her hands gripped his shoulders, he smiled. His fingers moved faster, bringing her to the edge so easily that it made her head spin, and she kissed him hard, her tongue finding his without hesitation. Gibbs flattened his hand against her, applying a pressure that made her moan as her hips moved, and just as she felt herself about to fall over the edge, she looked at him, her eyes locking onto his.

"Jethro, wait."

He frowned, her words enough to stop his movements, and she reached for the button on his jeans. Her hand wrapped around him slowly, increasing her speed as his eyes closed of their own accord.

"Jen..." he whispered, his voice shaking slightly, "What are you—"

"I want you to come with me," she murmured, "Don't fight it."

Touching Jenny had made him impossibly hard, and as she touched him in the expert way that only she could, he found himself hurtling toward the edge faster than he'd thought he ever could. He moved his own fingers again, loving her sharp intake of breath, and his hips moved against her hand. Her low moan made him move faster, his fingers rough in a way that left her desperate for more, and her hips ground into his hand harder.

"God, Jethro," she moaned, "You feel so good."

Her hand squeezed him just enough that he moaned softly, and when she twisted her palm over his head, he kissed her again, his tongue exploring every inch of her mouth. They were both so close that they could almost physically see their release, and as Jenny moved her hand more urgently, Gibbs struggled to form a coherent thought.

"Don't stop," she whispered, "Fuck, Jethro, don't stop."

His mouth on hers muffled the moan that tore from her throat as she shattered in his arms, and when his own climax hit moments later, his free hand tangled in her hair, pulling her head back in a way that made her orgasm more intense.

"Jen..." his voice was hoarse, possibly the best sound she'd ever heard, "I love you, Jen."

She smiled, raising her eyes to his, and as they slowly began to fix their disheveled clothing, she gave him a breathless kiss.

"I love you, too. So much."

Stepping away from him carefully, Jenny ran her hand through her hair, trying to straighten out some of the mess that Gibbs' hands had caused. He smirked at her attempt to tame the flaming tresses, and as she made her way back to her desk, she sank into the chair, her body still shaking slightly. Gibbs walked closer, leaning on the smooth wood carefully, and she shook her head slowly.

"Don't you have a team of agents to check on?"

"Director is always top priority. Agency protocol."

She laughed quietly, looking pointedly towards the door, and gave him a chaste kiss.

"You've done more than enough, Agent Gibbs. I'm going to attempt to sign off on a few reports while I still have a bit of light to see."

He nodded, heading to the door, and just before he opened it, he turned, looking at her seriously.

"Don't forget to change your clothes before you leave today."

She frowned.

"Why?"

"Christmas party, remember?"

Shit. She'd completely forgotten about the party. Luckily, she always kept a few spare changes of clothes in her office for various occasions, but she still wasn't sure if she had it in her to fake a smile the entire night.

McGee smiled to himself as he hung up his cell phone, more than a little excited about the swiftly-approaching Christmas party that night, and as he passed his friend's desk, Tony frowned, unused to the younger man's happiness.

"What's with the smile McNugget? You win a lifetime supply of typewriter ink?"

McGee rolled his eyes, shaking his head in amusement.

"For your information, I just asked a girl to be my date to the Christmas party tonight, and she said yes."

Tony stared at him, his eyes searching for any sign that he was joking.

"Your sister doesn't count."

"Believe it or not, I do know other women besides my sister."

"Abby, Ziva, and Director Shepard don't count."

Sighing, McGee returned to his phone, scrolling through it to pass the time, unwilling to let anything ruin his good mood. Though he knew Tony was just messing with him, sometimes the constant jibes were stale and annoying. It was no secret to him that he'd never been the most popular of people, and having his sometimes-awkward personality consistently being brought up often made him feel less than adequate.

But none of that mattered now. He had a date with a beautiful woman, that he was extremely attracted to, and nothing was going to distract him from that bright light. Not even Tony DiNozzo.

She was uncomfortable. Even as he led her to the table, his hand protectively on her lower back, Gibbs could feel Jenny's unease as though it were written across her forehead. She looked absolutely stunning, in a dress of royal blue that highlighted the undertones in her skin, her makeup impeccable, and her hair curling just below her shoulders, but her eyes spoke volumes. He knew she'd been apprehensive about returning to a bar given the last time she'd been in one had ended disastrously, but somehow he didn't think that was the reason she looked ready to bolt.

When the waiter arrived to take their drink orders, she answered him softly, as though she were trying to avoid drawing attention, and his eyes roamed over her slowly. He leaned closer, his voice low in her ear, and she jumped slightly when his hand touched her knee under the table.

"What's wrong?"

She shrugged, and gave him a weak smile.

"I'm fine," she lied.

He stared at her as though asking her how stupid she thought he was, and she sighed.

"I feel like an outcast. Like I'm ruining the fun for everyone. They don't know how to act around me, and it shows."

It was true. Tony and Ziva were currently arguing about something that had taken place one the drive over, Palmer and Abby were both sitting silently sipping their drinks, Ducky was still at the bar speaking with the bartender about variations of alcohol, and McGee had yet to arrive. It was clear that the members of his team were unsure of how to react to Jenny in a social setting, and Gibbs gave her a reassuring smile as their own drinks arrived.

"Don't worry. Once they've had a bit of liquor, they'll open up. Especially Abby."

The door opened again, a rush of freezing air sweeping into the door, but Jenny paid it little attention. She was staring into her drink as though it would give her the strength she needed, and when she heard someone say her name, it took a few moments for her to comprehend it. She turned, her eyes lighting up when they landed on the younger woman, immediately standing up to give her a gentle hug.

"Beth! What are you doing here?"

"I'm Tim's date. He asked me this afternoon if I would like to come."

Jenny smiled, but when she looked at McGee, her expression changed suddenly.

"I don't have to tell you that this could be considered a conflict of interest, Agent McGee. Dating a witness and survivor of a crime that we're currently handling. It's highly unprofessional."

"I—I um...well, Director, I—" McGee's voice faltered as he cowered under Jenny's gaze, and when she smiled, he frowned.

"Relax, McGee. I'm just messing with you. All of what I said is true, but I'm not going to turn you in."

"Y-you're not?"

She shook her head, still smiling.

"No. I'm happy for you."

Turning to Beth, her eyes roamed over the girl's crimson dress, accented by deep red lipstick, and nodded slowly.

"You look beautiful, Beth. And if McGee does anything to make you uncomfortable, you just remind him that he'll have to answer to both myself and Agent Gibbs for it."

Beth laughed, hugging Jenny again.

"Me? Jenny, you look incredible! I absolutely love your dress! You look like a model!"

Jenny smiled, sitting back down next to Gibbs, and as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, he leaned closer.

"Told you that you looked gorgeous."

Smiling again, Jenny moved her chair closer to his to make room for Beth to sit next to her, and when he reached for her hand, she entwined their fingers together. They began a light conversation about their respective days, each profoundly grateful that the snow had stopped, and when Ziva had emptied her second drink, Abby clapped her hands excitedly.

"It's "Secret Santa" time! Everyone, get your gifts ready!"

McGee frowned, turning to Beth with an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even think to get—"

"You don't have to buy me anything, Tim. Being invited was enough of a gift. Thank you."

Jenny smiled, remembering the early days of her relationship with Gibbs, back when even the smallest glance could send her heart racing, and laid her head on his shoulder. If she were being completely honest with herself, she still experienced that same feeling each time he looked at her, and he kissed her hair gently. She knew he was thinking the same thing, and when he nudged her knee with his own, their eyes met in understanding.

Abby's gift was first, passed to Tony with a hopeful smile, and as he opened the medium-sized box, she began to bounce excitedly in her chair.

"Woah..." he said loudly, his eyes widening as he examined the box, "Abby, is this what I think it is?"

She nodded, black pigtails swinging.

"It's a car detailing kit. I know you've been wanting to remodel your Mustang, and I thought this would be a good place to start."

"That's awesome! Thanks, Abs! I love it."

When Ziva handed Abby her present, McGee sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"Now I know why she was so happy when she saw who she'd picked. Abby is the easiest person to shop for in the world," he muttered.

"Save it, Probie. It's not Ziva's fault you suck at this."

"Shut up, Tony."

Abby tore open the gift bag with the enthusiasm of a child, her bright green eyes lighting up when she saw the large stuffed bear with bat wings holding a coffin-shaped box of chocolates, and she immediately stood up to hug the Israeli as hard as she could.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the best! I'm going to put him right next to my actual coffin."

Beth frowned.

"You have a coffin?"

"Don't ask," Tony laughed.

Jenny handed Ducky the gift she'd bought, and he stared at her as he pulled out the bottle of Napoleon brandy, setting it on the table slowly.

"Jennifer...where did you find this?"

She shrugged, giving him a genuine smile.

"I have my ways, Ducky. I know how much you like it, and no one deserves it more than you, especially after everything you've done for us all these years."

"This is exquisite, my dear. Thank you. I am honoured."

He leaned over the table to kiss her cheek, and when he ran his fingers over the smooth glass of the bottle, Tony laughed.

"Forget a girlfriend, Ducky's in love with that bottle."

Jenny laughed, shaking her head in amusement, and as he sipped his bourbon, Gibbs reached for her hand again.

"Hell of an idea, Jen."

As each of their gifts were exchanged, McGee could feel himself growing more and more nervous. He hoped his idea wouldn't fail miserably, and as he handed Jenny the small bag, he gave her a worried look.

"If you don't like it, feel free to exchange it."

She pulled a box from the bag, opening it slowly, and her eyes widened when she realised what it was that she was looking at. It was a taser, but the design was unlike any other she'd seen.

"A taser?"

"Yes, but it's a specific design. It has a wrist band that is connected to a pin on the end so that it stays hooked around your wrist. If someone pulls it from your hand and the pin comes out, it deactivates the taser, so that it can't be used against you. I just thought...with everything that's happened this year, you would feel safer being alone if we get called out on a case, or—"

"This is wonderful, Tim. Really. You don't know how much I love it," Jenny interrupted him gently, giving him a warm smile, "Thank you so much."

She was touched that he'd put such thought into the gift, and when he nodded at the bag, she frowned.

"There's more. It's a two-part gift."

She reached into the bag, pulling out the CD case, and looked at him in confusion.

"A CD?"

"Not exactly. It's a DVD. You can watch it when you get home. I hope you like it."

"It's porn, isn't it?" Jenny deadpanned.

Gibbs smirked.

"No, that would be my gift to you."

Abby laughed so hard she nearly choked on her drink, and as Ziva patted her on the back, Jenny rolled her eyes.

"It wouldn't surprise me," she said seriously, "But in all seriousness, thank you, Tim. This was the best gift I've gotten in days."

McGee smiled, more than a little relieved that she was pleased with the gift, and nodded. He didn't think she'd ever used his first name more than once before, and he couldn't have explained why, but it made him feel more welcome than he had in years.

"You're welcome, Director Shepard."

"Jenny," she corrected softly, "We're here as friends, not colleagues."

He nodded, and as Tony stood up to go examine the vintage jukebox in the corner, Jenny pretended she didn't see the light kiss that Beth placed on McGee's cheek. The redhead reached for her drink, tipping it back slowly, and when Beth noticed the thick chain around her neck, she nodded at her.

"What's your necklace, Jenny? It's a really thick chain. Is it heavy?"

Jenny shook her head, pulling the dog tags from underneath her dress, and Beth smiled as she read the name engraved on the small piece of metal.

"That's so sweet. I love that idea."

Ducky glanced at Gibbs, the pride in his eyes so strong that Jenny was suddenly reminded of the way her father had looked at her when she'd graduated high school.

"That's a very lovely gesture, Jethro."

Gibbs merely nodded once, taking a long drink from his bourbon, and as soft music began to fill the room, Ducky smiled.

"I never would have guessed Anthony was a fan of Sinatra."

"Come on, Duck man! Sinatra is classic. Abby, dance with me?"

Taking Tony's hand, the Goth allowed him to lead her to the middle of the room, and when Gibbs glanced at Jenny, he frowned at the sadness he could see lingering in her eyes. He held out his hand, nearly laughing at the look of shock on her face, and as he pulled her into his arms on the dance floor, he brought his lips close to her ear.

"You okay?"

She nodded, but there was still something in her eyes that he didn't quite like. He could feel the eyes of his team following their every move, and as she laid her head on his chest, he could tell her was fighting the urge to cry.

"Jen...talk to me."

"I just...I don't feel like anyone wants me to be here. Maybe I should just go wait in the car."

"Nah. The team loves you. You just need to let them see that you're just as capable of relaxing as they are. Show them Jenny, not Director Shepard."

She smiled sadly, raising her head up to look at him as the song ended.

"You think?"

"I know. Have another drink, let loose a bit, and they'll come around."

What the hell? Jenny thought as he led her back to the table, What do I have to lose?

An hour later, though she would have never thought it possible, Jenny found herself genuinely enjoying herself as she laughed at one of Tony's jokes, leaning back against Gibbs as he sat next to her, smiling when his fingers combed through her hair lightly. It didn't escape her notice that Beth had laid her head on McGee's arm as she listened to the other agent speak, and Jenny tapped Gibbs discreetly on the shoulder, nodding in their direction.

"McGee seems to be good for her."

Gibbs nodded.

"He's a good kid."

Jenny frowned, rolling her eyes slightly.

"He's a grown man, Jethro. He's not much younger than I am. Are you implying that I'm a kid?"

Gibbs snorted into his bourbon, shaking his head.

"If kids act like you, then the world is in trouble."

"Excuse me? I'm very mature."

"Never claimed you weren't. But if what we did in your office is typical—"

"Okay," Jenny interrupted him softly, "shut up."

He laughed, the low vibration of his voice making her shiver, and when Beth stood up to make her way to the restroom, Jenny looked at her in concern.

"You okay?"

She nodded, giving the redhead a smile and as she disappeared, McGee looked at Jenny seriously, his eyes troubled.

"Dire—I mean, Jenny? Can I talk to you?"

Jenny smiled, nodding, and when he asked her to follow him outside, she gave Gibbs a quick kiss on the cheek before standing, and Tony's voice floated after them as they walked away.

"Isn't one date enough for you in one night, McSkank?"

"Watch it, DiNozzo, or I'll ship you overseas," Jenny threatened, laughing as she pushed open the door.

He looked appropriately terrified, and as they stepped out into the cold air of the night, Jenny turned to face the younger man, wondering what he could need to speak to her about.

"Do you think I'm making a mistake? Being with Beth? I mean, with everything she's been through, I—would you be with someone so soon after that?"

Jenny was silent as she considered his question, and when she spoke her voice was soft but firm.

"No, I wouldn't. But, I'm not Beth. You have to remember, no one reacts to the same situation in the same way. What might help one person isn't guaranteed to help another. I haven't known Beth long, but let me tell you this: I've seen her smile more with you than I ever have before. She's comfortable with you, and that means that she feels safe. Security is a major priority in situations like this, so you must be doing something right."

He frowned, still not convinced, and Jenny took a step closer, placing her hand on his arm.

"Do you care about her? About more than just how pretty she is? Do you want to be there for her and help her?"

He nodded, and she continued.

"Then keep doing what you're doing. But remember this: she's going to have bad days. She might get scared, might try to run. If she does, talk to her, give her space if she asks for it. Just follow your heart, Tim. You've got a good one."

He smiled under her praise, and she returned it, looking at him warmly.

"You're doing fine."

"Thanks, Jenny. For everything."

He held the door open for her, noticing how she was shivering in the freezing air, and when they walked back into the bar, Jenny frowned when she realised that Beth still hadn't returned. She made her way to the women's restroom, pushing open the door slowly, and when she called Beth's name, she was surprised to find her leaning on the sink, tears falling from her eyes.

"Beth? What's wrong?"

She sniffed, glancing at Jenny in the mirror, and when she met her eyes, she shook her head.

"Everyone is being so nice to me. You, Tim, Tony, Ziva Abby, even Agent Gibbs...you've all made me feel so...I feel wanted for the first time in my life. Do you know how special that is?"

Jenny nodded, walking closer and wrapping her arms around her in a gentle hug, giving her a smile.

"Of course I do. And we're so happy to have you here. But don't cry."

"I just feel like I don't deserve this. After what he did to me...why would anyone else want me?"

Shaking her head, Jenny brushed her thumb under Beth's eyes, wiping away her tears.

"You silly, beautiful girl...you're worth so much more than you realise. Don't ever let anyone make you feel less than perfect. You don't have to change a thing about yourself, unless you want to."

Beth half-laughed, half-sobbed, throwing her arms around Jenny, and when the younger girl kissed her lightly on the lips, Jenny didn't move, the shock freezing her in place.

"Thank you, Jenny. I can never repay you for everything you've done for me."

Relaxing now, the redhead smiled, realising that there hadn't been anything sexual in the action, and when Beth stepped back, her eyes widened, and she threw her hand over her mouth in shock.

"Oh, fuck...Jenny, I didn't mean—"

Jenny stopped her words with a wave of her hand, shaking her head as she laughed.

"It's okay."

"Don't get me wrong, you're beyond gorgeous, and yeah, I'm bisexual, but...I mean...and you're with Jethro anyway, so..."

Still laughing, Jenny placed her hand on Beth's shoulder, forcing her to stop speaking.

"Beth! It's okay, don't worry. I know you didn't mean anything by it. I'm not upset. But, we'd better get back before everyone starts worrying and Jethro breaks the door down."

As they walked back to the main floor of the bar, Tony looked at them with a glint in his eyes that Jenny recognised immediately and she braced herself for the inevitable comment.

"You guys have a hot makeout session or something?"

Jenny rolled her eyes, and Beth laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she sat down, picking up her drink.

"Sure did, Tony. See, Jenny and I have decided that men are just too much trouble, so we're going to run away together."

Tony looked between them, and reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet.

"I'll give you fifty bucks right now for just one kiss. Fifty each."

"Shut up, DiNozzo," Gibbs said as he downed his bourbon.

"Wait, Jethro," Jenny said with mock seriousness, "I could use fifty extra bucks right now. Think of all the bourbon that could buy. Besides, it's just a kiss."

Gibbs shrugged, and Jenny glanced at Beth in amusement.

"Should we ask to see the money first?"

Beth nodded.

"Definitely."

Tony opened the wallet, grabbing two fifty dollar bills, slamming them down on the table, and Jenny fought the urge to burst into laughter. She leaned closer to Gibbs, her voice just loud enough that he could hear her over the music playing, and he reached for her hand under the table.

"You going to be pissed if I do this?"

His eyes met hers, and she could clearly see his answer in the bright blue irises. His breath was warm on her skin as he answered, and she fought to keep from shivering.

"Give him hell, Jen."

Nodding once, Jenny downed the last of her drink in one, and beckoned Beth closer. Gibbs fought the urge to smirk as he looked at the two, and as soon as their lips met, the sound of a glass being knocked over made Abby laugh. They broke apart just as Ducky returned with his drink, and he frowned at the shocked expression on Tony's face.

"What did I miss?"

"You...she...I can't believe you really did that..."

"Pay up, Tony," Jenny replied, holding out her hand.

He handed her the money silently, and Ziva leaned across the table, giving both Jenny and Beth a high-five, her eyes shining with amusement.

"Jenny just kissed Beth for fifty bucks," Gibbs said, answering Ducky's question.

"Well done, Jennifer. Though I must say, surely you could have thought of a better use for fifty dollars, Anthony."

Tony shook his head, his expression serious.

"No way, Ducky. That was definitely worth the hundred. Money well spent."

As Beth and Jenny exchanged an amused glance, Gibbs didn't think he'd ever seen Abby laugh so hard in her life.

After Jenny had given Aries so many kisses and held him for so long that he began trying to get away from her, Gibbs ventured into her bedroom, frowning when he saw her sitting on the bed, holding the DVD that McGee had given her, a look of confusion on her face.

"Jen?"

"Do you know what this is?"

"It's McGee's second part of his present," he answered vaguely, deliberately not answering her entirely.

"I know, but what's on it?"

"Why don't you watch it and find out?"

Sighing, she ran her hand through her hair and nodded, placing the disc in the player, and when Gibbs gave her a gentle kiss and began walking away, she frowned.

"You're not staying?"

"Going to get a drink. Besides, this is your gift, not mine. You should watch it alone."

She nodded, pressing the appropriate button on the remote, and as he walked down the steps, Gibbs took a deep breath. He knew McGee's intentions had been honourable, he just hoped that Jenny would be able to handle it.

The screen was black for a moment, and then when McGee appeared on the camera, Jenny frowned, more than a little confused, and in her inebriated state, she was struggling to figure out what he'd given her.

"Director Shepard, I know this has been a difficult few years for you, but this one has been especially difficult. So, we wanted to make sure you remembered just how much we all love you, and how much you mean to us. My favourite memory of you, though it wasn't a good one at the time, was when my sister Sarah was attacked, and I broke protocol to help her. You busted my ass over that, and though I didn't know it at the time, you were trying to make me angry enough to stand up to you and fight for what I believed was right. You gave me what I needed to prove to myself that I could stand up to anyone and anything to protect the people I love, even if I had to stand up to my friends. I've never been the most confident person in the world, but you showed me what I had inside of myself all along.

If you ever feel lost, just remember that you have that strength, too. You might not always feel like you do, but you are so strong, such a badass, and we would all be lost without you. We love you. So much more than you know. You're amazing, and nothing will ever change that."

Jenny stared at the screen in silence, her eyes unable to look away, and as each member of the MCRT recounted their favourite memories of their time with her, she had never felt as happy and conflicted as she did then. Ziva made her smile, Abby made her cry, Tony made her laugh, Ducky made her eyes fill with tears again, and just as she thought the recording had ended, she found herself looking into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen.

"Jen...I know how scared you've been. The accident, your illness, everything that has happened, it's been a rough year. But never forget how much you mean to me. I never thought I would love anyone after I lost Shannon and Kelly, but you proved me wrong. You see the parts of me that no one else does, you know me better than anyone in the world, and you showed me that I can love and be loved again. Don't run from the past, don't forget it, learn from it. I thought there was nothing left to bring me happiness, I thought that my hope was dead, but you mean everything to me.

There is nothing in the world that I wouldn't do for you, and when you feel lost in the darkness, just remember that I'll always find you and bring you back to the light. Don't let your fear define you. When you feel like giving up, when you don't think you can make it through one more day, prove your pain wrong. After all, you proved me wrong, in the best possible way. You're the strongest person I know, and you can break free from the nightmare. I love you, Jen. More than anything in the world. No matter what. Don't ever forget that."

The screen went black, not that Jenny could see it through her tears, and as she turned off the television, she took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. She knew the alcohol she had consumed was making her more emotional, but she also knew that this particular gift would have made her cry no matter the circumstances. Standing slowly, she made her way down the steps, and when she found Gibbs sitting on her couch, slowly drinking a glass of bourbon, she forced herself to not run to him.

"Jethro?"

He glanced up, setting his glass on the table, and frowned when he saw the tears falling from her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, still standing at the bottom of the stairs, and she sighed.

"When did you do that?"

He shrugged.

"Few weeks ago. McGee asked, and I couldn't say no. Not if it helped you."

"You meant it?"

He nodded, looking at her seriously.

"Every word."

"And...and the team, they—"

"I told you that they loved you. Now you know just how much."

She was still crying, her tears slipping down her face rapidly, and Gibbs stood from his place on the couch, looking at her slowly.

"Jen?"

Her eyes met his, and he continued.

"Come here"

Not waiting to be told again, Jenny ran across the room, throwing her arms around his neck, and he kissed her hair, holding her as close to him as he could. She'd been struggling with the dark thoughts in her head for the past few days, though she had done her best to ignore them, and as she stood in Gibbs' embrace, she looked up at him seriously.

"I love you."

He smiled, wiping away her tears, and leaned down to kiss her, his lips warm on hers.

"I love you, too."

Leading her to the stairs, Gibbs turned off the bedroom light as soon as they crossed the threshold, and when she fell onto the bed, he gave her a smile.

"You know, Jen...this snowstorm has the potential to be bad. We might be snowed in tomorrow."

"God willing," she muttered, wrapping herself in the blankets.

He laughed softly, kissing her, and when she didn't return his smile, he tilted his head, sensing that something was bothering her. He didn't ask, but when her voice broke the silence moments later, he wasn't surprised.

"Jethro?"

"Hm?"

"Will you hold me?"

Gibbs gathered her in his arms, running his fingers through her hair, and as he felt her tears dampening his shirt, he frowned.

"What is it?"

"I don't...I don't like feeling this way. I feel like every turn leads me to a new dead end. I know there's no logical reason for the thoughts in my head, and I feel so guilty. So ashamed. There are people in the world that are starving, that have cancer, are homeless, you name it...those are the people who have the right to be depressed. Not me."

"No, Jen," he breathed, kissing her hair, "Just because you have a job, a house...that doesn't make your pain less valid. Your health is important, and that includes all aspects of it: mental, physical, and emotional. You don't have to earn the right to feel pain. It doesn't make you weak, or pathetic."

Jenny was silent for so long that he thought perhaps she'd fallen asleep, and when she spoke again, her shaking voice almost made his heart shatter.

"Help me, Jethro," she whispered, burying her head in his chest, "Save me from the part of me that's begging to die. I'm so scared."

He kissed her hair again, holding her tighter, and shook his head.

"I know, Jen," he said softly, "It's okay to be scared. You're going to make it through this, and when you do, you'll be even more amazing than you already are. I'll always help you if you need it, but you have to meet me halfway, okay? Take your medication, listen to what Ducky tells you, and you have to stop working so much."

She nodded, her fingers curling around his shirt, and as he felt her beginning to fall asleep, he leaned down to kiss her.

"Get some sleep, Jen. I love you."

"I love you, too."

When he was sure she wasn't going to wake up, Gibbs carefully reached for his phone, typing quickly, and as he placed it back on the bedside table, he smirked to himself in the darkness.

She loved it, McGee. Good job.

Staring at the destruction in her living room, Jenny frowned as she realised she couldn't remember what had led to these events. Broken picture frames were on the ground, glass glittering on the floor, there were faint traces of blood on the wall near her study, and if the throbbing pain in her right hand was any indication, she thought she could pinpoint the source. It was still sore after Carrington's last attack, though she knew the current pain likely had nothing to do with that particular injury, and she shook her head slowly.

What had happened?

She picked up her phone from the counter, calling Gibbs quickly, and as his voice came on the line she sighed in relief, At least that hadn't changed.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Jethro, I...I have a question."

"Fire away."

"Would you be willing to keep Aries at your house for a bit? I have something I need to do, and with the weather being so bad, I don't want him left alone."

"Sure, but you're lucky I love you. Wouldn't do it for just anyone."

Her laugh sounded fake even to her, but she forced it out anyway.

"Thanks. I'll call you in a bit."

"Anytime. Love you."

"Love you, too."

As she hung up the phone, she shook her head, still trying to make sense of the situation. Gibbs clearly had no idea about the damage to her house, meaning that it had happened sometime after he'd gotten the call about his case, and she herself had no recollection of anything before feeding Aries at noon. She was beyond scared now, and as she sank down on her couch, she reached for her phone, dialing with shaking fingers.

She had no choice now. This was beyond her control.

So she did the most terrifying thing she could think of and gave in.

She called for help, praying that it wasn't too late.

A/N: Jenny's taser is something you can actually buy. I have one, and it's amazing.