The appointment ends there after.

As calm as Dr. Amalee helped him feel after his near collapse, Katsuki wants more than anything to go home. He needs to go home because everything feels too normal once again. The receptionist bids him a farewell like every time, the doors still wheeze as they open and close for him, and the same cars that were parked when he arrived haven't been touched. As far as he can tell, he is the only difference in the scene. His mood is better compared to before he walked in but it's still downcast. His eyes still feel puffy from his moment of weakness and his nose is still runny not just from the cold anymore. A good snack, a good nap, maybe a shot of the good stuff and the last of his nerves will be gone.

As he climbs on his bike and puts on his helmet, he knows he's lying to himself at this point.

The rumble of his motorcycle's engine between his thighs makes him think of crashing. How easy it would be to turn the wheel down the wrong way on a one way street and risk it all - but he knows that's just the post appointment depression talking.

He thinks back to what he did this time last week. He could go to his old stomping grounds again. Relive some of the most seemingly insignificant times in his life again, but what are the chances Fatty will be there? With the break in last week, there has to be at least one officer on stand by. Can't have another hooligan sneaking in thinking: If they could do it so could I. It'd be just his luck, too, if he was spotted by Fatty. The ass must know what kind of model Katsuki rides by now just so he can pull him over the next time they cross paths.

Pathetic, he tisks as he spreads off.

Dr. Amalee and himself have been through this before. He's been through too much bullshit to burn out in a jail cell for a misterminor, or go lights out other than in a blaze of glory if not in old age. Besides, he has things to do, shit to finish and make amends with before he goes anywhere other than home. The letter weighing down his backpack is his most recently predominant drive. Finishing Midoriya Izuku's story and telling the world to treat your pears with kindness instead of raised fists comes first and foremost.

Because after all, finishing what he's started when he was younger will be the only way to make amends with his current self. And after he's finished with that, he'll find a new reason to carry on. Getting grossly attached to something has been his way of living since he was younger. First becoming a hero when he was five, then becoming number one when he was in high school, then living for finishing his first book, then living for entering schools and talking about the importance of caring for one another, then living for repentance through his newest work of art(?). And then he'll live for…

To be determined.

Shit, he needs to get out of these thoughts. He's never spiraled so fast - at least not in a few years.

The light turns red and he eases on the brakes too soon, but given his current state of mind, he doesn't mind when the car behind him trails impatiently too close for comfort. He's the first in line, no choking exhaust from a car in front of him and he takes this brief moment to take a deep breath and close his eyes. There were plenty of pedestrians, he saw them on the corners when he was cruising to a stop, so he has time to relax in this moment. Let the tension drain out of his tender shoulders from carrying the letter around all day. As he opens his eyes, slowly exhaling, the air catches in his throat and every calming or alarming thought flies away.

The light hasn't turned yet, there are still pedestrians crossing, but that's the thing. In the crossway directly in front of him is a small figure wearing an elementary school girl's uniform with an all too familiar pink beanie and blue zip up. From the oversized backpack hanging from her shoulders, he can make out the floppy ears of Yogo-sha, the stuffed bunny.

"Maimie." The name escapes him as he watches her go, the last of the sheep of the herd trying to rush through the crosswalk and beat the light.

Katsuki watches her as she safely steps on the sidewalk and walks with her back to him. It is like Yogo-sha's waving at him, beckoning him over to say hello. He almost doesn't catch the light if it wasn't for the car beside him starting to role, and he speeds off past her.

Now, his thoughts are spiraling about her.

What is she doing out all by herself?

Where is she going?

What is she doing so far from home?

At the next light he checks his watch and supposed it's late enough for school to be getting out. There is one nearby, after all. But still, there are other elementary schools closer to their apartment. Could she not get in? She just moved here, maybe it was too late to register.

Katsuki thought about turning around and tailing her, following at an inconspicuous distance to make sure she gets back safely because the damn girl stuck out like a sore thumb against a crowd of black and grey suits. Just the thought of some shitty bastard rolling up behind her and pulling her in a windowless van is enough to heat his palms. Driving faster than the speed limit is the only way to keep him from turning around and punching whoever looks at her funny while she passes.

Don't turn around. Don't turn around - he repeats to himself like a mantra. If her father trusted her with walking home from school, then that meant she must've earned that trust wherever they lived before.

Maimie's witty, he reminds himself, thinking back on their past conversations. And she knows better than to get into a stranger's car. All though, the damn girl did agree to going into a strangers apartment.

Fuck.

Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

Katsuki pulls into the apartment parking lot, eases down the tenant parking garage and kills the engine. He sits and breathes and thinks for a moment. He thinks about turning the engine on, going back just to check, then riding home once again - then thinks about how absolutely stalkerish that is. God, if he did and she found out, or catches him tailing and somehow recognizes him, whatever trust she has (or at least had that one night) in him would surely disappear.

Before he can do anything he's sure to regret later, he gets off the bike and punches the elevator button. It opens a moment later and he climbs in with his eyes down cast to his shoes. When the doors open again, Katsuki pushes against the people thoughtlessly trying to step in and marches through the lobby. There is one that didn't appreciate being pushed out of the way, but it's their own damn fault for not moving fast enough. Now that he's on the last stretch to being completely alone, his backpack feels heavier and he subconsciously tightens the straps to keep it in place. He feels stupid doing it, but the last thing he needs is his backpack slipping off and spilling every page across the polished tile floor.

How many people would try to help him? How many of them would let their eyes wander to the handwritten pages and read, and read, and realize, and become mortified with what Katsuki's done?

His straps are uncomfortably tight now, but as he pushes the door to the side emergency stairwell, he doesn't climb. Instead, he pauses. Katsuki takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he takes a seat on the third step. Running his hand through his hair and breathing through his troubles stops most of the shaking.

It's just the post appointment depression - he reminds himself. Those people were only looking at him weird because he ran into them. They don't recognize him, their thoughts won't dwell on him - at least not for long - and the letter will certainly not reach anyone else's eyes until it's polished and he's damn well ready.

Today was long and hard and he wants to go home so desperately - but Maimie still isn't here yet. As his thoughts fade from the looks of the strangers to the ones surrounding the young girl as she walked, he finds himself becoming more and more frustrated. He didn't think he was driving so fast that she'd be lagging so far behind. From his perch on the steps, he can see into the lobby through a skinny window on the door and be a witness to whoever crosses in front of the front desk. It wouldn't matter if Maimie chose to take the elevators or stairs or simply sit in the lobby because no matter what, she'd have to cross the front desk to get there at some point. He checks his phone regularly, his knee anxiously bouncing, but only a few minutes have passed since he arrived.

Maybe she wasn't on her way home.

Maybe she had to meet someone somewhere.

Maybe her dad picked her up along the way.

As the minutes pass, Katsuki starts to feel like a fool. Actually, why did he even care? Maimie Hana is just a little kid he met the other day. Sure, she was abandoned by her father for a few hours, and the bruise around her eye made him worry, but why was he being so… so… He doesn't even know what he is anymore.

With a sigh, he realizes this is exactly what Dr. Amalee was talking about. It's alright to be aware, but to go out of his way to the point of being a stalker isn't healthy. Whatever has Katsuki so attached to the young girl isn't healthy. He needs to let it go. She'll be fine, he convinces himself.

He stands, feeling like a dumb ass, and is adjusting his backpack when he hears it. It's muffled through the door, but all of a sudden, he can hear Maimie Hana return a greeting to the staff at the front desk.

Katsuki skips the first step down and stays a foot back from the door. Peeking out the window, he can see her. Maimie is standing in front of the elevator waiting for it to open. Nothing's changed since he saw her in the crosswalk.

See, nothing to be such a bitch about, he thinks to himself. Now he can go home and do exactly nothing for the rest of the day. Except, he doesn't move until she steps into the elevator and the doors close behind her, and when he's on his floor trying to beat her elevator ride to their level, he doesn't leave the stairwell. From the skinny window in the door, he watches with intense anticipation for the silver steel doors to glide open.

He doesn't know what the fuck's wrong with him, but while every fiber of his being is screaming at him to just going to bed, there's this one annoying piece of himself that's making him stay. It's stupid - so stupid that he can feel it radiating off of him - but he has to make sure she gets inside okay.

The doors are a few feet from the stairwell, so when they open, Katsuki ducks to make sure he isn't spotted. He waits a moment before peeking over the edge. To his relief, Maimie doesn't suspect anything and he watches as she walks further away from him down the hall towards her apartment door.

Maimie stops in front of her door, swings around her backpack and fishes for her key. When she finds them, Katsuki grows confused. Maimie's hand is extended, ready to insert the key but it's like she's stopped working. At this moment, he wishes he wasn't so far away. He wishes he could see her face and try to understand what she is thinking. It's almost startling when she starts up again, whirling around, facing Katsuki's door now, and tentatively walks up to it. Slowly raising her hand, Katsuki can't believe what he's seeing. Maimie's inches away from knocking on his door, only to stop. She hesitates before turning back around, shoving her home key in the proper lock and shutting the door behind her.

What the hell was that about?

When Katsuki finally leaves the stairwell, he has half the mind to knock on her door and ask for an explanation but decides against it. If he asks, that'll only prove that he was watching her like a creep. Not to mention, what if her father is home. Katsuki's sure her father will react worse than Maimie if he finds out what he was up to.

Entering his apartment, he comes to a simple conclusion. If it is truly so important, Maimie will try knocking again. Right?

A few hours pass without a knock.

Katsuki busies himself to keep him mind off of what she could've possibly needed from him. When he first stepped in, he scoured his apartment looking for anything that she could have felt behind, except she never stepped past the living room and all of their things were kept by the open door for easy escape (he shouldn't phrase it that way but for all he knew, maybe that's how she saw it).

It was when he was finishing his peanut butter and banana sandwich that his editor called. Katsuki hates it whenever she calls. The conversations almost always involved yelling - he wouldn't be surprised if his neighbors tracked a pattern for when she would call - and always involved the worst topic of his life. The conversation would start off as every time she contacted him: She'd greet him, maybe he would back, she'd ask him a question regarding his progress, and he'd snap. Unfortunately, she quickly learned that there is mostly never a bite to his bark and she started arguing back. It's like getting a call from his mother, except he's always feeling more stressed after. At least his mother's harsh words are familiar, and in some twisted sense, comforting.

"Hello Bakugou, this is Cece," she greeted.

"I know who you are, idiot."

Annoyingly, Cece had gracefully ignored the insult without pause. "Do you know you missed last week's deadline?"

"Huh?! The fuck you talking about?"

She sighed through the phone and Katsuki's palms had sizzled at the visual of her heavily leaning on her chair's armrest and rubbing her fingers over her forehead like she always does when she's disappointed in him. He had to remind himself not to blow up his phone.

"How did someone so incompetent graduate from UA at the top of his class?"

And things escalated from there. Names were called, half-assed insults were made and by the end of it, Katsuki promised to fax her "...the best fucking chapters you've ever read in your whole Goddamn life, you walking definition of incompetent!" before her shift at the publishing office was over.

As soon as the call ended at 3:30, Katsuki sat at his desk furiously adding narrative to the chapter Midoriya's letter makes its debut. He even has enough time - and enough of a fire under his ass - to type out the section of letter that him and Dr. Amalee read today. Those pages were harder to write than the first, specifically, Tiega Kai's death. For his part of the narrative, he had to do extensive research on Tiega and his family. What he found brought him to the edge of tears. The poor boy's mother vanished the same day he died. It was reported that she was a single mother and never answered her phone when police tried to notify her of her son's passing. There was never a body, no trace of where she might've gone if she was alive. Every online article Katsuki found on the family ended with Midoriya's confession to killing her and her son.

The sick-fuck had called Tiega Kai a popper then, too.

Katsuki didn't give Midoriya the satisfaction of ending his chapter of the poor boy the same way. Instead, he wrote:

Such a beautiful existence didn't deserve to end so short. Tiega Kai wasn't dealt the best hand, but he had love. He had his mother, he had his friends, and now he has all of us to keep his memory alive and to keep showing him that same love, wherever he might be.

This next part he's sure Cece will delete, but it felt right.

I've never thought too hard about an afterlife, but when I'm sent to Hell, I can't wait to look up to Heaven and see him enjoying his paradise.

At 7:58 (two minutes before Cece's office locks up for the night) he pushes send with the weight of his soul on his shoulders.

After making sure it successfully delivered, Katsuki stretches his arms high over his head and arches his back. As he straightens, his spine feels brittle as it cracks and creaks. His shoulders pop and when he stands, so do his knees and ankles. He's been sitting in the same position for the better part of four hours and he knows he should stretch so he's not so stiff when he goes to bed, but all he does is lay across the couch.

He hadn't realized before, but while he was writing, a storm had started outside. As he lays there, he can hear the wind howling, hissing through the holes in the plaster of the windows over the soft radio. There's a moment of rolling thunder from somewhere above, and if the front room lights were out, he's sure he would've seen the flash of lightning right before.

The storm is but a brief, distant afterthought as he drifts into the deep sleep he'd been yearning for since he got home. He finally slips away with an announcement from the radio the last thing on his mind:

"Alright, Listeners, it's time for our last amber alert of the night. Seven year old Evie Fujioka from Jaku City is still missing. Be on the lookout for someone fitting this description: Long brown hair to waist, green eyes, and 121 centimeters tall. Evie was last seen wearing her school uniform from Sumato Elementary, it has a yellow and blue phoenix crest. If you or anyone you know might've saw someone fitting this description, please contact…"

Katsuki succumbs to sleep, and in moments, he's dead to the world.

A knife in pale hands

An unkind smile bares its teeth

Green eyes glow, hungry

One more step, Kacchan,

And she'll be deader than me.

Just try it. You'll see.

Fire eats the city

On this rooftop he can hear

Screams of the people

Let her go, Deku!

You've done enough already.

I don't want to fight-

NO!

A knife in pale hands

Slits ear to ear, gunshing red

Uravity falls

Katsuki startles awake, rising upright and gasping for air. Each breath is suffocating as his hand clutches his shirt over his racing heart. The adrenaline is chilling, running purely on fear, and he can't stop the shaking. His whole being is vibrating from his nightmare, and it feels like there are scurrying ants under his skin.

Instinctually, Katsuki's eyes dart around his living room and kitchen. Looking for the fire. Looking for his mop of green hair and lopsided creepy grin and crazed dead eyes. His ears strain for his laughter over the screams, for Uraraka's choking gurgles at their feet.

However, much to his greatest relief, there's nothing but the rumble of distant thunder and fading radio music as the song ends. Katsuki takes a deep breath, still shaking, and releases it nice and slow, again and again until his heart no longer threatens to burst.

A hand rakes through his hair and pulls at the roots.

Nightmares aren't anything new to Katsuki. He's been having them ever since his battle with Midoriya and they're always about that horrid night. Until that night, Katsuki had believed that the Quirkless kid he grew up with and bullied in middle school was dead. It was his first time seeing him in four years and everything was different about him - everything was twisted and wrong and terrifying.

Ringing and buzzing in his pants pocket startles him, and Katsuki hurries to fish it from his pocket and shut it up. How loud it was ringing makes him feel like his position was given away, that everyone on his floor knew he was awake and panicking. That feeling alone makes him more awake and more panicked - enough to also make him misclick and accidentally accept the call.

The other end immediately comes through, "Bakugo? Bakugo? Are you there?"

Mina's voice comes through nothing short of anxious and it makes him feel worse. Did something happen while she was out on patrol?

Where's Uraraka?

He ignores Mina, opens his phone with the call on speaker and goes to his Nationwide News app and obsessively refreshes the page. He scrolls, but finds no new articles on the gravity hero.

"Bakugo?! Answer me!"

"What?!" he snaps. He switches from the news app to Twitter and searches Uraraka's official handle. He scrolls to the most recent post and sags at the time stamp: posted three hours ago. It was a downward picture of her holding up a peace sign and giving a cheesy smile next to what looks to be a stir fry still on the stove. Katsuki's eyes immediately latch on to the long, jagged, dark scar running across her neck.

Katsuki sighs, interrupting Mina's rant. "What the hell do you want, Pinky, it's" - he checks the time on the corner of the screen - "it's three in the fucking morning. This better not be another stupid prank-"

"Are you okay?"

That catches him off guard.

He sputters before answering, "You called me, remember."

"You don't sound okay."

The inch of patients he woke up with is immediately blown to a crisp. "I just woke up, what the hell do you expect?!"

"Come to the bar."

Mina's voice is much calmer than before, but Katsuki can tell something else is wrong. He's had the displeasure of knowing his friends long enough to know when something really shitty is on their mind and they need to meet in person. This doesn't feel like one of those times, however.

Katsuki calms himself. "Why the hell would I do that? It's still fucking pitch black outside."

The line goes quiet for a moment, then, "So you're really fine?"

No, but Mina doesn't need to hear about his nightly terrors - and hopefully she never will. That's Dr. Amalee's job.

Instead of answering, he says, "Jesus. Good night, you stripper."

He hangs up before she can say anything else.

With a brooding sigh, Katsuki lets his head fall into his hands. He is slowly coming to the realization that he should have made himself stay awake a couple more hours after he was done writing because now he was rested - not well rested but enough - and too awake to possibly go back to sleep. Though, he knows he would've been woken up this time by Mina's call, either way. At least he might've had a fighting chance at falling back asleep, then - too late now.

Rubbing his face, he finds he's covered in sweat and slightly embarrassed that he didn't notice the beads of nitroglycerin on his brow and above his lip until now. His shirt sticks to him uncomfortably like a second skin and he is disgusted to find the couch cushions slightly damp where he laid.

Since there's no way he's going back to sleep to finish that nightmare, he shuffles to the bathroom stiffly. He knew he was going to regret sleeping on the couch. At least a hot shower will help loosen the knots in his shoulders and back.

Katsuki spends the early hours of the morning laying in bed messing around on his phone. He numbly scrolls through social media - namely Uraraka's because he still can't get the image of her bleeding out at his feet out of his head. Mina had made an announcement of an up and coming show at the local burlesque bar. Kaminari posted a stupid picture of himself looking over the city on some undisclosed rooftop. Kirishima is always posting his daily workouts and workout challenges for his fans. Sero's upside down Spider Man selfie hanging by his own tape was most amusing. There were a few extras that came up on his feed, but nothing that made him remember what it was about as soon as he scrolled past. After, he moves on to random videos (there were cute cat videos that showed up on his recommended list), and before he knows it, his first wake up alarm goes off.

It's seven in the morning, four hours well spent.

Katsuki gets out of bed, before he can decide another four hours would be perfect, and makes his way into the front room. He turns on the radio to The Morning Crew and finds himself in the kitchen starting a fresh pot of coffee. The cheap machine gurgles and spits and doesn't stop until Katsuki smacks it. Not too long after, hot fresh coffee filters into the pot. While it's filling, he starts making his usual cream cheese bagel.

Katsuki's pouring his first cup of the day when he hears it. He shouldn't have, it was so quiet like a mouse, but he does.

A single knock.

He hurries to the radio and turns it all the way down. The apartment is silent as he stares down the front door, daring whoever is on the other side to knock again. When nothing happens, Katsuki silently makes his way to the door and squints through the peephole. He freezes when he sees Maimie. Much like yesterday, she's standing in front of his door, knuckles raised to rap on the wood but she's hesitant. Unlike yesterday, however, now he can see her face.

Why does the young girl look so… worried?

Her thin eyebrows are pinched until the skin in between wrinkles in a small V and her eyes are glancing around to her raised hand, the door, her shoes, and Yogo-sha tucked in her arm. She's not just worried, there's anxiety, as well; and at second glance, it looks as though she'd gotten little to no sleep last night. The purple hue under her eyes make them look bigger even though she's obviously exhausted.

Come on, he wordlessly coaxes. How badly he wants to be in her presence is weird, this is weird, but there's something about her that he can't get away from.

In this moment, he slowly realizes that if she just knocks again, if she works up the courage to try one more time, he'll open the door and do everything he possibly can to make sure she's alright.

Katsuki patiently waits for the knock, watches her face as the gears turn in her head, then, finds himself extraordinarily disappointed when she lowers her hand and makes for the elevator at the end of the hall.

As her steps echo down the hall then fade into nothing, Katsuki steps from the door and frowns deeply as he takes his first bites of bagel. Something is wrong. Katsuki's never been big on children, for the longest time they were just snot nosed, whiny assholes - and some still are - but while he was interning with Endevor the beginning of his third year, he found that kids were just very emotional. Everything they feel never comes as a middle ground, it's either at its highest high or lowest low, and they make everyone know what mood they're in.

Maimie Hana - about the same age as some of the kids that excitedly idolised him during that glorious time - always looks so anxious and worried. And if she's looking like that - worse than before, actually - trying to knock on his door…

Something is wrong.

Really wrong.

Katsuki's going to find out exactly what that something is.