Chapter 9.

Wendyleaf: You just might be right in your assuming! Or… will he be too proud to let his feelings show? And why exactly is she so very nervous whenever he is around?

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I already felt the tension in the air rise to a very uncomfortable level. The captain himself seemed undisturbed and completely at ease, maybe even a little smug with himself. I once again noticed his immaculate appearance. He obviously knew how to carry himself and his uniform only added to him seeming unfairly well put together.

I, on the other hand, was making myself more and more distressed and nervous. My hands felt so clammy and my head started to hurt. Eating anything from the delicious foods displayed on the table before me seemed impossible as I felt more sick by the minute. I was wondering why he would want to spend more time with me and what more questions he could possibly have for me. Was he trying to find out if I was some sort of criminal still? I looked at my hands before me on the edge of the table, not sure how I would survive this evening.

'You seem troubled, señorita. Is there something wrong, tal vez?' His deep voice and thick accent made me quickly look up again. He looked so controlled and strict. He raised his eyebrows a bit, obviously waiting for my answer. I swallowed and fidgeted with my hands.

'No, sir. Everything is all right. You have been more than generous towards me.' He was not responding to my words, while I was quite sure they should have been more than enough to answer him. Instead of being satisfied, he cocked his head to the side and kept staring at me.

I could not bring myself to look away either. Those full lips seemed so soft and made him look just a little more approachable with all his other firm and stern features. He had such dark eyes. When he was irritated, they seemed to get even darker. But when he was completely at ease, they seemed some sort of amber. But right now, now he was studying me, they seemed a deep, beautiful brown colour.

'What thought is making you frown like that, miss Gray.' While he gestured to the food, he was not eating himself yet. I was not touching anything either. I was feeling way too nervous. My neck and shoulders hurt from the tension that was building up inside of me. Even if I wanted to feel more at ease and without nerves, I just had no clue how to relax in the same room he was in, with his intensive stares and intimidating presence.

And when he suddenly stood from his chair, I was not feeling any better. I froze and tensed in my chair, watching him walk closer, until he stood beside my chair, his eyes not once looking away from mine.

'¿Qué te preocupa tanto, hmm?' I had no clue what he had just said, but when he kneeled down on one knee, I moved back and sat up as straight as I could in my chair.

I saw he noticed that too and slowly placed his hands on the arms of my chair, effectively locking me on the chair with nowhere to run or hide.

'Am I the reason for that troubled glance in your eyes, miss Gray?' I swallowed painfully and closed my eyes for a minute to escape from the intensity of his gaze. But when I opened my eyes again, he was still there, his eyes boring right into mine.

'Or are you worried about your fate, perhaps?' he added, his accent making the words roll of his tong in a very pleasurable manner. I bit my lip and saw his eyes finally released their hold on mine, to watch my nervous chewing on my bottom lip.

He cocked his head to the side when I remained silent, his eyes finding mine once more, like he was not going to move away until I would say something.

'Both.' He seemed surprised when I finally did answer, but he recovered swiftly. He licked his full lips, before he reached out to take one of my hands in his larger one. It was like he had known I would not have answered anything before he had cornered me and invaded my personal space, nothing left to hide under.

'That must be a heavy burden, miss Gray. Let's see if we can lighten your fears.' He lifted my hand with his to press a gentle kiss on my hand. And if that act alone was not confusing enough, he kept looking me in my eyes the entire time. I felt my heart racing and felt utterly relieved as he released my hand and stood. He walked around the room in a slow pace, not yet speaking, but he seemed to think about his next step.

'Have you, anywhere in your answers, lied to me, miss Gray?' I felt my heart sink. Were we back to square one? Was he going to ask me all kinds of questions again because he still didn't believe me?

I swallowed hard and shifted a bit on my chair, hoping he was not questioning me again.

'No sir, I haven't lied about anything.' He stopped walking around and turned to me. It was shocking how quickly his eyes found mine.

'Then you have nothing to fear from me, miss Gray. I can promise you I will not harm or hurt you.' I stared at him carefully. Did he mean what he said? He nodded encouragingly.

'Then there is the matter of your fate. I'm not completely sure what your exact fear is, but I've told you before that we'll be on the sea for some time. But when we dock in a decent harbor, you are free to disembark. Port Royal is not one of our regular stops, but we might even be able to see in what time frame we can get there or close to it.

I kept watching him, wondering why a captain of a ship like this would go to such lengths to rid me of my fears. To help me get home safely. What was in it for him? Why was he so eager to make me feel less scared?

I swallowed and spoke to myself sternly. Until now the captain had been nothing but kind and helpful. He probably couldn't help it that he appeared so firm and strict, he had to be in his role as captain. He was the leader on a warship, hunting pirates.

'Thank you, Captain, for all the effort you are putting in trying to help me. I do feel a lot better already. 'He looked at me with suspicion, and for a moment I was afraid that he would see right through me again.

'Not quite yet, I see. But we have made a start.'

It was then knocking came to the cabin door and Salazar answered stiffly, apparently irritated that he was being disturbed.

An officer walked in and nodded once.

'Capitán, can I have a quick word, Por favor?' Captain Salazar watched me for a moment, before he nodded.

'I'll be back in a moment, please eat.' He motioned in the direction of all the food on the table and then left me alone, walking out with the officer.

For a moment I simply stared at the door the captain and his officer had just walked out from. I had seen on the captains face he was not someone that often let himself be disturbed. He had looked irritated. But if he had accepted to step outside the reason of being disturbed had to be serious, I knew.

I was feeling a little more relieved than before and the food stared to look and smell even better than before. But I decided to wait for the captain to return. I would feel embarrassed when he would enter, and I had finished eating and he would have to eat the cold remains of the once warm food.

Without knocking, the door was opened firmly, and the captain walked back into the cabin, alone. He closed the door behind him and let his eyes land on me, before he walked towards his chair and sat down.

'Perdóneme, for leaving you unattended, señorita. Let us eat.' He placed some food onto his plate and nodded in the direction of the food to try and get me to do the same.

'Is everything alright?' I asked him, seeing his tight jaw. What news had his officer brought him? The captain looked up from his food and instantly his eyes bore down in mine. I regretted asking him about it the moment I saw the fire behind his eyes.

'Of course, miss Gray. There is nothing for you to be worried about.' He gave me one more stern look, before he started eating and I, hesitantly, followed his example. I knew this would be a long night and was surprised when the captain seemed less talkative than before and told me it was time to rest, right after we finished eating.

I suspected he was somewhere else with his thoughts, but if he was, he wouldn't let me know. He took me back to my cabin and said goodnight before I was left alone with my thoughts again.

It was crazy to think that at the start of our evening the captain had done everything he could to rid me of my fears, but now he seemed so distant and cold. Was I imagining things? Or was I just expecting too much? I did not know...

I changed my clothes and got into bed, glad I had a whole night ahead of me and didn't have to face the captain for a moment. If he had heard about a serious matter that required his attention, he might even forget to pick me up for the walk on the deck tomorrow. I swallowed. I wasn't sure if I liked that idea or was bothered by it, but I knew I didn't mind taking some distance from his stern and cold looks.

I had heard the stories about El Matador Del Mar and was definitely not disappointed with the real deal. But before, the stories had already scared me. And now I wasn't sure what attitude to give myself. I just knew I would rather be at home. How poor and boring my life was, it was safe and there was no one to judge my life.

I closed my eyes and listened to the water hitting the boat and enjoyed being rocked to sleep by the powerful Silent Mary.

The next morning, I felt unsure and not like myself. I had been dreaming about my little room and madame Cherrie. I felt a burning in my chest and could not bring myself to think about anything other than being home. Sleeping in my own bed. The view of the harbor from my small window. I actually missed everything, and the feeling took my breath away so painfully, that I couldn't ignore it. I got up from the bed and changed into a dress before walking to the window and looking out.

I saw that the sun had just risen. The waves were calm, and the Mary moved graciously through the water.

I made myself small in the windowsill and closed my eyes. It didn't matter how badly I wanted to be at home or how much I longed for past times. The reality was that I was stuck here and wouldn't be coming home anytime soon. Not even if the captain would do as he said. We were dealing with the tide and the planning of a warship here.

I sighed deeply and rested my head against the wall. I hadn't known until now how much homesickness could hurt.

English translations:

tal vez – maybe

¿Qué te preocupa tanto, hmm? – What is troubling you so, hhm?

Have a wonderful weekend!