Chapter 8: John Sheppard Visits Carson Beckett

Rodney McKay may be the smartest man in two galaxies but this did not mean that John Sheppard was stupid. He was the quiet kind of smart, and it was that quiet intelligence that allowed him to draw certain conclusions about the city. The first one being that she listened to him, even when he didn't actually say anything. This had occurred to him after a conversation that he had with Ronon while attempting to get his boyfriend to go to sleep.

It had been about a week after their initial visit with the doctor. He had known about Rodney's theory and while it was a sound theory John highly doubted that the pregnancies had anything to do with chemicals in the drinking water. As he made his way to the infirmary he just hoped that Beckett would believe him, although seeing as they were dealing with pregnant males it was quite obvious that out here anything could happen.

"Doctor Beckett?" John called as he opened the door. The infirmary for the most part was empty. They hadn't had any medical emergencies or anything like that in a while so Beckett was able to concentrate on some of the more important tasks at hand.

Beckett poked his head out of his office, his blue eyes full of concern. He would have liked to think that if there had been some sort of medical emergency that John would have radioed him and not wasted valuable time walking to the infirmary. "What is it? Is Ronon okay?"

John gave his best lazy slouch against the door frame. "He's fine. I finally got him to go to sleep. But.." He looked at the floor, and in a very uncharacteristic John Sheppard way he mumbled something.

Carson's brow furrowed. This behaviour was very unlike Sheppard. John had never been one to shy away from his own mistakes, he would rather own up to them and take the consequences then have them found out later, after the damage was probably too severe to fix. Beckett fixed John with a stare of concern. "Okay, why don't you come in here Sheppard and we can discuss whatever it was that you didn't want to say out loud."

John could feel the heat climbing into his cheeks as he walked into the office, closing the door behind him and sitting in the stool that Carson directed him to. He sat with his feet on the rungs of the stool as he stared down at his hands. He knew that Carson was expecting him to start, he took a deep breath. "It's my fault." He tried to keep the quiver out of his voice. He wanted to leave, but he knew that every one that was unexpectedly pregnant, his boyfriend included deserved to know why.

Carson shook his head, being in the Pegasus galaxy he was willing to believe anything but he still failed to see how the colonel had anything to do with the pregnant men. "Do you care to explain?" He kept his tone gentle, he knew that for one reason or another, John actual believed that he had anything to do with what had been going on.

John was still staring at his hands. "A little while ago, I got thinking of all the things that I had given up. It wasn't that long into my marriage that Nancy and I had talked about starting a family, then I go t deployed. When I came home haunted by the things that I had seen, the things that I had been made to do, to endure, I chose to get deployed again. We never started the family that we were going to. Mostly my fault, I guess Atlantis felt my pain and felt that she could rectify my unhappiness. Run all the tests you want on the water being supplied to the rooms, but I am telling you Ronon, Rodney and Evan are pregnant because I wanted a family and this was the only way that Atlantis could give me one."

John let out a miserable breath and Carson ignored the moisture that had gathered John's eyes. He clapped a hand on the shoulder, " I don't think that is the case John. But I will look into it. Try not to worry about it anymore tonight. Ronon needs you more now than ever."

John bit his lip and nodded his head. He knew that Ronon needed him, if their relationship was going to make it through the pregnancy he knew that he needed to talk to Ronon. He left the infirmary feeling worse than he had when he went in.