Chapter 10: The Confession

June 1497

"Good morning, my love." Amara's eyes fluttered letting the light in at the sound of her friend's sweetest voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I believe I have felt better." Galinthius crept around Lucrezia's feet before leaping onto the bed to greet his mistress, bucking his head against her hand.

Lucrezia laughed. "I have no doubt."

"Where is Cesare?" It did not make sense that Cesare would wait until dawn to come and find her. Judging from everyone's silent whispers, backwards glances and Lucrezia's insistence that they take the secret passages back to her chambers the night before Amara knew she had not seemed well.

"Alas, I do not know."

"You cannot find him?" A wave of panic shot through Amara. What if he had gone after his brother, and Juan had somehow been the victor.

"I believe he went to my mother's taverna."

"Alone?"

"No, the party continued there." Having shared their childhood together the two found that much of their communication was done in silence. Why would Cesare attend an after party instead of enquiring after Lucrezia and herself? Finally, Lucrezia voiced, "I know."

"And he did not come back?"
"He spent the night out." Lucrezia sighed. "However, I have not just come here to worry you about my brother. You have a guest waiting for you downstairs. He's been here a good hour, but I think that only fair when you consider how long he has been making you wait."
There was only one person Lucrezia would let bother Amara after such a night. "Giuliano?" Amara smiled which Lucrezia returned tenfold. Hopefully the reconciliation would help her forget about Juan and Cesare's vanishing act.

Scooping the cat into her arms Amara raced towards the door and almost tumbled down the stairs in a desperate effort to reach the reception chambers. Their eyes met in a clash of emerald. Giuliano stared at his twin waiting for her wrath, but when he was only met with silence his eye went down to his trembling hands.

"Can we be friends again sister?" He questioned with a small fear she could never forgive him.
Amara slowly dropped to the floor and released Galinthius. She could feel her twin watching her every move. Desperate for an answer and terrified of what she might say. Finally, she reached him and flung herself into his arms. "Oh Giuliano, you know we are so much more than that."

"I am glad," He stumbled backwards in an attempt to steady her weight on him. Amara smiled feeling herself glow at his touch, but when they withdrew his face told another story. "Sister, you must tell me what happened last night."

"It was nothing." The last thing she wanted was to relive the affair and see the panic in her brother's eyes.

"Juan attacked you." Amara gawped at him.

"How could you possibly know that?"
"Cesare." She studied her brother. It was the first time he had used Cesare's name and not called him cardinal or Borgia. So Micheletto had betrayed her, it was not shocking and she supposed there was little else the assassin could have done.

Amara fell down onto a bench at the side of the room and gestured for her brother to join her. "He did not harm me."
"Given the chance he would have." Giuliano insisted taking his place beside her.

Her voice was small. "Micheletto was there."

"I never thought I'd thank God for him." He exasperated.

"Juan is just so different." She excused.
"You are too kind, Amara."

"There is something in him – a curse of madness. He has these swings in his moods that no one can foresee."
Guilano tried not to lose his temper. "Those moods would kill."

"He is still their brother though." Amara insisted. "What if Juan were like Piero, he does have sweetness in him."

"Piero is not like that man."

"No, but he could be." She racked her brain, trying desperately to find a way to make him understand. "Can you remember when we were young and Piero stole all those sweet breads for us? We ate all of them and when mother found out he took the blame. He could have sold us out, but he did not because –

"He said he loved us enough."

"What if Juan were once like that for them?" She imagined the three siblings running around their gardens in the golden sun so unaware of the path their father had already carved out for them. "I cannot be the catalyst that tears a family apart."
"He attacked you, Amara." Giuliano lashed out rising suddenly from his seat. "When I think of what he could have done to you. Does it not make you angry?"
"Of course, it does!" She matched his tone. How could he not know that every fibre of her being burned in anger at what Juan tried to do. "In future, I will avoid him at every turn, but Cain and Able were not justified by God so why would we think to be?"

"Look who has finally dragged himself home." Lucrezia loudly announced her presence hoping that the siblings could contain themselves before Cesare entered the room.

"Cesare." She had forgotten her fear for him the second Giuliano arrived. Yet here he was, standing in front her. Neither of them was sure how they ended up in the other's arms and neither of them had realised how much they needed to see the other. Cesare inhaled her sparkling citrus smell – like the childhood orangery he would play in with Lucrezia. It was confirmation enough to Cesare that Amara was a gift from Fortuna or God that needed protecting at all costs.

"How are you feeling?" He pulled back examining her.

"I'm fine, a little tired." She confessed. Cesare let a small smile grace his face satisfied with her response. Then he noticed Giuliano and gave him a nod which was returned starkly. Amara wondered if, that with everything else that had happened, they both decided to avoid any argument for her sake.

"You should rest, sister." Guilano said finally.

"Oh," she grabbed his arm as he tried to edge his way towards the door. "No you cannot go."

"You should stay, Giuliano." All three characters gaped at Cesare. "I have business to attend to."
"What business?" Lucrezia questioned finding it as odd as Amara did. Why would Cesare suddenly be fine with Giuliano staying with Amara?

"The business of finding our dear brother, sister."

"Juan?" Lucrezia stepped forwards. "Where is he?"
"That is the mystery." Cesare teased. However, this was not enough to stop Lucrezia's furrowing brow. "He left our mother's last night and no one has seen him since."
Amara spoke with a edge. "You should check with our brother, I'm sure Piero knows all the good brothels." If Juan was missing he could not be harmed or harm his family in any way. At least for a few hours, Amara was pleased to know there was nothing to worry about.

The day was truly enjoyable for Amara and her companions. They had basked in the gleaming sun combing lemon water through one another's hair before laying it out to lighten. Even Giuliano, clearly searching for his sister's favour and happiness, had allowed them to attack him with it before playing with Giovanni chasing him through the rose garden.

Meanwhile, the Pope was highly strung with anxiety. He bickered with his clergy son over Juan's whereabouts. Cesare would put him at rest suggesting that he had made his way to a woman's bed after the festivities and was recovering there. Alexander VI knew this was not an outrageous suggestion, the Borgias had a vigour that no other man could match. Yet, the painful pinching in his stomach would not rest.

When the day was finally at a close, Amara returned to Cesare's chambers exhausted. She wished for nothing more than to crawl into the soft furnishings and stay there.

"Cesare?" Amara questioned into the dark air coughing slightly at the smell of smoke. "Have you lit a fire?"

Suffocating, Amara made her way across the sweltering room towards the glowing embers. "Cesare? It is as hot as hell in here."

There was still no answer.

Knowing that he must be in his office to escape the mix of manmade heat with that of the day only caused further confusion for Amara. Poking at the fire in the hope of cooling some of the rage inside the coals she paused noticing a glimmer in the light. Cautiously, she reached down to inspect it burning her fingers and heating up the rings on her fingers as she did so.

Finally, she examined her treasure. In the palm of her hand lay a golden clasp.

"Amara?" The small woman turned to face him. Slowly, his eyes travelled from her face down to her open palm.

"Have you been burning your clothes?" Her question was accompanied by a mix of humour and confusion

"The shirt was ruined." Cesare went to claim her plunder, but Amara closed her hand in protection.

She pressed on. "Why would you need to burn a shirt?"

"Because it was ruined." She could feel the tension rising in the already sweltering room.

"How exactly was it ruined?"

Clearly frustrated, Cesare exclaimed. "Leave it, Amara. It was just a shirt."

His sudden anger caused a spark of panic to flare up in her stomach as she willed herself to ask, "Have they found your brother?"

"Not yet." His voice was small.

The realisation hit Amara in a wave. Her hand rushed to her chest as though it would steady her frantic heart. The golden clasp fell to the floor, yet she could not hear it land with the ringing in her ears."My God, Cesare."

"No, Amara." He reached forward to steady her. For the first time, his touch scared her like an animal suddenly noticing it is the prey. Suddenly, her feet began to move in an attempt to take flight. "Wait."

"Let me go!" She struggled against him "Cesare, let me go!"

Eventually, she managed to break free or he let her go Amara wasn't sure.

"It is not what you think."

But his words were met with deaf ears, for Amara was already closing the door behind her.

When the inevitable news of Juan's demise finally reached Amara, the weight began to crush her. Both Cesare and Micheletto had rushed forward to catch her, but she had already secured herself on the stone windowsill. She did not say a word to either of them as she reached for her rosary and headed to the chapel wondering if she could pray Juan's soul out of hell.

Juan was dead, could it really be as simple as that and yet in the same breath cause such awful complications? The feelings of relief and turmoil that Juan's death brought raged within her.

However, Rome did not change with Juan's death. After all, the city had seen far worse men than Juan Borgia and endured far more pain than he could ever inflict and remained steadfast. Amara sat in the Vatican gardens waiting for the ground to open with the Pope's grief, but it never came. Instead the birds tweeted happily from the trees, the flowers bloomed in spectacular colours and the fruit ripened perfectly.

The only difference was the silent Vatican. Well, silent if you ignored the Pope's wailing cries. He had not left his room for two days and any food that was presented to him was soon rejected. It seemed so unfair to the Pope that such a golden boy must be taken from him so young. Even in death he could not see the flaws.

Amara noticed the dark shadow over her before any words were exchanged. "You must talk to me, Little Medici."

"Not here." She urged starting to walk further into the gardens away from any unwanted ears. When she was satisfied they were safe she turned to him. "What would you have me say?"

"I would have you speak your mind."

"You murdered your brother." It sounded so simple. Yet, it was anything but. The truth was that she could not even blame him for his actions - in fact she wanted to thank him. "I do not know what else I could say."

Cesare ran a hand through his dark locks. "If I did wield the knife, could you blame me?"

"No." She admitted. "But I had hoped you would have more logic or tact."
"Tact?" The word shocked him into a frenzy. Did she not understand what Juan had tried to do to her? And how it had only been the last straw! How he had hurt countless others and was going to be the downfall of them all. "How was I to have tact when he threatened everything I hold dear?"

"He was still your brother." Amara was blessed with the knowledge of what it was like to have a brother who destroyed a legacy. He was currently sleeping with every woman in the city and gambling away their much needed money in the process.

"My brother died years ago."

Do not cry, she thought digging her nails into the palm of her hand. If you cry now it will all be for nought.

"So, what is our move now?"

"Our move?" His voice was almost a whisper. As though he were scared that if he spoke too loudly this bubble of hope might burst.

"Yes, Cesare Borgia, you must know by now there is nothing that would make me leave your side."

Amara almost recoiled in astonishment as Cesare fell on his knees before her and sobbed. It was only for a moment; the days had been sleepless and his father's cries haunted his mind. Then, on top of it all, his Amara had refused to so much as look at him. She, who his actions protected more than anyone. The confirmation of her fealty brought such a wave of relief he could no longer contain his reaction. Clasping her hand in his he placed it on his cheek leaning in to kiss it occasionally.

"I will ask my father to release me from the cloth."

"Not yet, Cesare, he needs time to accept Juan is gone first." It was too much too quickly. Besides, the pope was many things but never a fool. He would come to the realisation quickly enough on his own. "There is the other issue of Juan's widow. She is screaming bloody murder to anyone who will listen and it is your name she cries." Maria Enriquez had already managed to enlist the help of Queen Isabella of Spain to put Cesare in the limelight.

"I know, but the number of men who wished my brother dead are legion."
"True." Amara agreed. Italian families had a flare for revenge. "Any of the great families could be blamed: Sforza, Orsini, any of the Roman men who had their wives seduced with or without their consent."
Cesare paused. "You have missed Medici from your list."

Her eyes narrowed. "Why on earth would a Medici wish Juan dead?"

"Juan was not doing any favours for Piero's reputation." He pointed out.
"Perhaps not, but I cannot imagine any member of my family killing him for that reason and risking the wrath of the Pope."

"Your eminence." The servant was clearly out of breath from his escapade around the Vatican searching for Cesare. "Forgive me, but the Pope has requested you meet with him."
This was different. The pope did not want to meet with anyone in his grief. "Has he eaten?"

"A little."

"I will come to you as soon as I have finished my meeting." He promised pressing his palm to her cheek. "After all, we have Naples to prepare for."

The days since Juan's death had seen a new normality enter the lives of the Vatican women. Although, the parties had ceased they now found comfort spending the long afternoons together embroidering new prayer stools. It was on one such occasion Cesare Borgia saw fit to make a shocking announcement.

"I have met with the committee of ceremonies. The funeral is being arranged."

The three women gawped at him. In the end it was his mother who spoke. "Your father won't hear of it Cesare, nor even consider it."

"He doesn't need to consider it. There will be a requiem mass, the church bells will be muffled, there will be 16 black horses drawing a carriage dressed in black silk to bear the coffin." He poured himself a drink. "That is the funeral."Turning to Amara, whose mouth was hanging open in shock. "Then, we have Naples to consider."

She shook her head in denial. "Surely that cannot go ahead."

"Surely it must go ahead." Cesare stressed clanking the silver goblet down to be filled again. "It is for me to decide, and the decision was made."

"Cesare, I think," His mother shot a glance at Amara and smiled in the hope she wouldn't be offended. "and we would all agree, it wise that you go alone."

"No."

"The politics are fraught at the moment." His sister tried to reason. "We have lost a marriage to Spain."

"I am well aware of that." His eyes were closed as though the women were too loud for him.

Now, it was Amara's chance to try. "It would not be wise to remind them of our… closeness."

"It was agreed." He answered back steadily. "The king has agreed to it."

"Cesare, listen to me." His mother commanded as only mothers could. "It is not possible."

"No it must stand. I will not be… " He trailed off taking a different train of thought "Life does not hold its breath for one man's grief."

All three women opened their mouths at once, but Cesare put his hand up. "Not a word more! Please. It is decided."

In almost practised synchronisation, the three women let out an aspirated sigh as they watched Cesare leave the room. Each looked at the other waiting for someone to make the next step. Eventually, Amara picked up her skirts and began to chase the man.

"Cesare!" She called. "Cesare this is madness."

"It is necessary." He did not slow his pace when she finally caught up with him. "You will attend as my ward and we shall all be civil about it."
"But I am not your ward." Small tingles like tiny pins crept over her body, bringing herself to a halt she stoped her foot and declared: "I am your whore!"
Cesare whirled around to meet her eyes as soon as the words had left her mouth. He began his descent upon her, his finger stretched out to match his scolding tone. "Do not speak like that." Then, in a softer way he continued. "We both know you are far more than that - far more than most wives are to their husbands."

"Naples will not thank you for this."

"I cannot leave you here." He sounded torn and Amara knew to let the matter go. "Trust me and let that be the end of this. We leave at dawn."

August 1497

Cesare cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. With Juan's death, the family had lost a valuable ally in Spain and with so many notable ladies screaming that his brother had plunge the knife himself they needed a new form of help. That was where Carlotta of Aragon came in. The new king's daughter would be an advantageous match for anyone let alone the bastard son of the Pope of Rome. He should have known the Pope would have plans for him once his robes were shed and they would not necessary follow his heart or Amara.

Oh, God, Amara!

The young girl was resting soundly, her head on his lap as the carriage jolted along the road to Naples. If he had been less selfish he would have left her behind, his father certainly would have preferred it, considering his new venture was to entice the new king so he would willingly hand his daughter over. When the Pope first suggested the idea to him he could barely fathom the prospect. On the one hand, his father had finally presented him with the respect and power he had always wanted. To leave the church, form an alliance, lead an army and bring the Borgia papacy into a new golden age. Yet, the cost would be dear. It would be Amara.

Suddenly, the carriage jostled as they went over a pothole and the girl woke. "Oh god," she complained taking her head in her hands. "Are we not there yet?"

"Soon," he soothed her head with his hands "I think we should be there by nightfall."

Amara was relieved at that, at least they could enter under the cover of darkness and maybe she could recover from the journey before everyone began to gossip about the cardinal's mistress. "What is Naples like?"
"It has been ravaged by plagues and wars and just about anything you can imagine."

"Ah, I see." She smiled lopsidedly and tilted her head towards him. "So not the most beautiful of cities."

"I should think not."

She shrugged. "But a good ally for the Vatican."

"Not if we do not wish to offend France." France had wanted to own Naples for as long as Amara could remember. Naples on the other hand wished to be free for as long as possible and Rome sat between the two. Neither could win the other without the blessing of a Pope.

"Well, I think your blessing of the crown will offend France." She lifted her legs up onto the empty seat opposite stretching the cramped muscles. "The heat will kill me." She began fanning her herself frantically.

"We are headed to Capua now."

This was news. "Why?"

"The plague is back."

"Oh," She pursed her lips. "That is not a good sign for a new king."

"I suppose not." Cesare chuckled.

There had been no dramatic meeting for their arrival into Capua, for that Amara was thankful. Watchful eyes and gossiping whispers could wait until tomorrow when she could hold her head high knowing her appearance was not tussled by the hours of cramp travel.

Early the next morning Amara was trying to keep her nerves steady as she made her way with the rest of Cesare's household through the corridors to the King's chamber.

"My honoured guests!" The king stood proudly as he welcomed the cardinal in. "I am so very happy you are here."

The whole party swept low.

"We are very happy to be here, your grace." Cesare spoke, almost humbly.

"Please stand." He was only speaking to the cardinal at this moment so the rest of the party remained in their lowered positions.

"And who is this?" Amara did not dare look up, but knew they were speaking of her. She could feel the eyes of court burning into her - she was after all the subject of many conversations.

"My ward," She could hear Cesare's wariness as he spoke. "the lady Amara de' Medici."

The king held his hand out to her, which she took willingly rising from her position to be studied better. "My, how beautiful you are my dear,"

You would think, that after years of being told of her beauty, Amara would be used to it. She expected it now, but with a new understanding that the compliment was not just meant for her it was meant for all the men in her life. She was a prize stallion brought out on parade and the men would steal glances when they thought she could not see or comprehend what they meant. In all her years though she had learnt the best response was often a sweet, "Thank you, your grace."

A silence descended on the entourage. Amara found that when men were silent and watching one another it was best to stay quiet. She desperately wanted to fall back in line with her maids and the lady's of the court. The king was surveying the cardinal with a twitching smile on his lips as new kings often did. After all, there was no need to hide their feelings. Cesare's face on the other hand was a difference matter completely. His jaw was tense, his teeth almost certainly gritted. No - the king would not test the young Cardinal today he needed that crown on his head first.

"I have a gift for you." The king clapped his hands in the air causing the crowd to part. Amara hoped no one saw the rush of horror on her face as her eyes settled on the youngest Borgia and his wife.

"Joffre!" Cesare rushed forward to be reunited with his younger brother, laughing he shook his brother joyfully. "You've grown!"

It was true. He must have been around 17 years old now. Amara thought about the last time she had seen the boy and how he had vanished from Rome. Suddenly, the room was becoming smaller, it felt harder to breathe and her eyes were slowly prickling with a mix of darkness and light.

"It has been a while, brother. A lot has changed in our time apart." Juan's name was left unspoken, but entered the room nevertheless. It was not clear from his tone if the younger brother believed Cesare guilty of the act. "You remember my wife, Sancha of Aragon."

The beauty held her hand out for Cesare to take, he kneeled before her and brought her long fingers to his lips. Throughout this task, Joffre watched Amara hoping to catch a glimmer of jealously in her eyes. Yet, the sinful couple had been through far too much for that. Then, Sancha moved on to the ward smiling brightly. Amara scanned her face for a moment trying to find a trace of grief for Juan.

"Oh Amara, it is my fondest wish for us to be great friends while you are with us." She was setting a tone.

"Of course." Amara smiled and hoped that it would convey her agreement to keep anything you once knew to herself.

"We should hunt!" The king announced with urgency wrapping a thick arm around Cesare's neck as though they were the long lost brothers. "I am in a great mood to stretch these legs and we have much to discuss."

"The lady Amara-

"Oh, do not worry so much Cardinal!" A thick laugh came from the monarch. "You are an attentive guardian, but I will see that our joint family takes the best care of her."

Frozen, Amara watched as Cesare was slowly swept into a crowd of jaunty men filled with bloodlust. All at once, an arm slithered into hers and Sancha was smiling at her so brightly she was worried her face would ache. It was all so clear while the couple had been brought to Capua for the king's coronation. Cesare Borgia had brought his mistress and the illegitimate daughter of Naples was going to make sure she stayed out of sight.

A few days later, Amara finally managed to slip away from her watcher. Fortunately, Sancha was not a very committed guard who often found herself waylaid by dukes who would fall over themselves to greet her. On such an occasion, Amara had escaped to the vast gardens of that the royal town had to offer.

"Good day!" Her head snapped to attention as a voice emerged from the bushes. The voice belonged to a young man, he must have been a duke or at least someone of noble standing to be so forward in nature. Besides, anyone else would not have had the free time to laze on a bench in the middle of the day. "I do apologise, I did not mean to scare you."

"I would not make a habit of hiding behind bushes then." She scolded, but the corners of her mouth betrayed her.

"I was not hiding." He shook his head banishing his current thought and as he did it seemed as though specs of light were layers throughout his chestnut locks. "I was reading, but I would much rather talk. Please come sit."

Now it was Amara's time to shake her head. She took a step backwards. "I couldn't possibly disturb you."

"No please, sit." He stood to attention offering her his place on the stone seat. "It is the least I can do to let you rest after giving you such a fright."

"I am Alfonso." Clearly, the boy thought this should be enough, but the look on the girl's face told him otherwise. "Alfonso of Aragon."

Faces flew through her mind as she tried to place his position in the Naples' pecking order. Finally, she remembered and blurted out, "Sancha's brother?"

"Yes." The response clearly amused him. "I suppose I am."

"I am -

"You are Amara de Medici. I am well aware of that." She felt her face heat up and tilted it towards the sun the hope he might think it was from the external and not internal forces. If he knew who she was, it would be for her infamous status as a high born mistress. The boy, clearly good at sensing distress, tried to use his next sentence to reassure her. "My sister has often written letters about you. In fact, I believe I am here to charm you."

Well, that was new. Normally she found that no one was quite that honest when they had a possible dishonourable act to complete. "Would you like to know if you are succeeding?"

"Not yet - I would like to have the chance to try."

"Tell me what you were reading, Alfonso of Aragon?" Her short time with Alfonso seemed to make her feel more confident. There could not have been one bad bone in this body. He held up the battered book he had been reading with a bashful confidence. "The Letters of Alebard and Heloise. Are you a romantic or a philosopher?"

"I am afraid I am a romantic, but please do not tell anyone it is a great shame of mine." Amara very much doubted, from his tone, that it was his greatest shame.

"Why? I suppose it would make you a loyal companion."

"My lady, I thought I would have to coax you to jest with me, yet here we are!" A strong laugh came from his belly. "I believed you shy."

"I promise I would be if there had been more people here to witness our exchange." She pressed her lips together. "Why would you be here to charm me?"

"And you are bold too."

"That is not an answer." She quipped. "Is it because your sister grows tired in her role as my sitter?"

"Sancha does not like to follow rules, let alone impose them." He sighed hoping the young Medici was not too insulted by his sister. "Do not be offended by her. She does not mean to harm, it is just her way."

"As the scorpion does not mean to sting?" She mumbled under her breath. Then, with wide eyes panicked as she fumbled for her words. "Forgive me, that was rude."

Much to Amara's surprise, the duke laughed. "I love my sister, but she can be trying. The world has been unkind to her in a way it has often blessed me. Please try to remember that when she finds herself being cruel in competition with you." Amara paused. She had not imagined herself to be Sancha's competition. What was it they could be competing over? Certainly not Joffre, any affection he had had for Amara would be long gone by now. In fact, it seemed that the boy was now avoiding her at all costs and following his brother around like a lost puppy. A small voice in her head suggested Cesare. She had seen them together on occasion over the last few days, but he had always excused himself quite promptly when Amara came into view.

"I should really get back to the palace." Amara made an excuse her hand shielding her face as she tilted her face towards the sun.

Alfonso waited for her to move watching how the light bounced off her skin and mixed with the lines of shadows. "I'll come with you. I imagine the hunting party will be returning soon and I would not like to miss the plunder they have brought back."

The prince stood to attention holding his arm out to her. Willingly, she accepted the offer and hoped to God Sancha wouldn't see her so close with her brother. She really couldn't have another reason for the woman to dislike her.

Amara really hoped that the ground would open and swallow her whole. The men had decided to use their birds of pray for hunting, yet it had just been a completion to see whose was biggest so far. Sancha looked equally thrilled with the entertainment staring at the embroidery on her skirts.

"Good day, my lady." Amara thought she might throw herself at Alfonso as he appeared.

"Is it?" Sancha chirped back with a false smile on her face.

"Ever the delight I see sister." He complimented planting a kiss on her cheek.

Sancha feigned insult. "I am a vision of loveliness."

The group was suddenly interrupted by the voice of the king.

"Come forward, Madonna Amara." The king beckoned her with one of his thick fingers. "I have something to show you."

"Of course, Your Grace." Amara smiled widely at the man who demanded her attention and steadily took off in his direction placing herself, quite pointedly, at Cesare's side.

"My eagle, Hera." The bird watched her proudly trying to work out her place with the party. Standing at almost three feet, she knew she was beautiful or at least awe worthy as the men watched Amara approach the bird. There was something so sad around her and Amara reached out as though to soothe her.

"I would not touch her." Alfonso warned. He had left his sister now and was slowly walking towards the men who were waiting for the hunt to begin. "She has not eaten yet."

"Once, she took down a boar." The king whispered in her ear proudly.

"Do you think she is vengeful?" Amara murmured at the king. His face dropped at her question, but the charming girl continued as though the question did not displease him and explained "like her name sake?"

The king let out a hearty laugh. "Ha! The lady worries that Hera is jealous of the attention she receives from me? I would have to become a swan."

"Now, your majesty, we wouldn't want to start any wars." She teased with a small tilt of her head.

He stepped back his eyes wide and let out a hearty bark of laughter. "You must be careful with the wit on this one, your eminence. She might cut you one day." His eyes trailed from Amara to her guardian and back again. Then he winked!

"I can assure you, your grace, I am quite capable of managing my dear lady's wit."

"Well, if you ever find it too much. I would be happy to try."

Amara tried to steady her breathing. Neither man had so much as glanced at her. Cesare's jaw was tight, clearly he thought it would be better to not say anything than risk loosening his tongue. Her blood was heating, not with anger, but with an anxious nature that made her heart fly up into her mouth. Whatever happened, she could not let Cesare come to blows with a king - especially with the suspicions of Juan's death still rife.

"My lady," Confusion must have been the only emotion on her face as Alfonso stepped forwards. "I believe my sister is quite bored being all alone. If the gentlemen would permit, I would be quite happy to escort you back to her."

She could have fallen at his feet. Alfonso held out his hand ready to rescue her and the minute Amara accepted a wash of relieve flooded over her. With her delicate female ears removed Cesare would be able to jest in response to anymore talk surrounding her. A part of her supposed she should be annoyed at this and much of her found it unfair, but if it could avoid any bloodshed especially among those they were here to charm, she would learn to accept it.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, she almost collapsed into her seat beside Sanchia. The woman observed the new arrival with dark eyes. Amara tried to give her a small smile. It did not seem clear what exactly what the ward had done to cause such irritation. Perhaps, it was the king's attention? If she wanted that she was more than welcome to it. Maybe it was the way Cesare's eyes with filled with such fury it was clear he would kill to protect her honour? Of course, the one which made the most sense to Amara was the way her brother had come to her rescue.

A crash woke Amara. She flung herself forwards squinting into the night trying to determine the source.

"Cesare?"

He was supposed to be out with the royal entourage. The hunting often turned into a jolly party of drinking and gambling as the men revelled in their prize hunt. Yet, there he was in front of her even though she was sure the men would still be having their fun for hours.

"I needed to see you." His voice was hoarse.

She was waiting for him to say something else. Instead, he just watched her. A smile came to her pink lips as she waited, her dark hair only slightly unruly from her hours of sleep, and her soft green eyes always met his with a glint of something teasing as though the two of them were always sharing a secret the rest of the world wished to know.

What was it that separated her from all other women to him?

Cesare had left the party early, forgetting that his father would be throughly disappointed in him to see her. The princess who was currently sitting in the French palace didn't matter very much to him when he imagined Amara all alone in her room waiting for him, always waiting for him. His whole life he had been waiting for a match like Carlotta. Yet, every bone in his body was screaming for him to run from the match, from any match that would keep him away from Amara.

It must have been that spark. That bubble that burst in his chest whenever he laid eyes on her or when someone mentioned her name even in passing. He knew exactly when she entered a room without a need to look. His mind could feel her, his body reacted to each of her movements as though they were his own.

"Cesare?" Her voice was like the sweet wine he had been drinking all night. Soft, gentle as the night and impossible to quit.

She was so god damn hard to quit!

God, he loved her and it was going to be the death of him.

"Cesare?" This time she reached her hand out and touched him. That crackle of electricity hit him again, just as it did every time as he observed her watching him through those dark lashes. "What is it?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he reached down with his free hand, cupped her chin and slowly pressed his lips against her open mouth.

"Cesare?" She questioned against his mouth.

His only response was to hush her. Carefully, he let one sleeve of the nightgown slip down her arm and then repeated the action on the other side. Then, he drew himself away so he could observe her fully. The gown had fallen down to her waist, revealing the soft peaks of her breasts.

She didn't shiver under his gaze or look remotely scared. After all this time, they were comfortable with one another. She let the corners of her mouth turn into a small, still confused, smile. Then, she reached up and let her thumb graze his cheek before pulling him down to her.

Cesare hadn't realised how much he needed her until he was there pressed against her.

He travelled down to her neck taking small sucks against her skin as his went. In response, Amara tilted her head up so she could open herself up to him, twisting underneath him in a way that drove him wild.

Finally, he arrived at her breast which he took into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around tasting and teasing her.

"Oh, Cesare." He smiled against her at the sound. Enjoying every second more as she arched her back beneath him trying to get him closer to her.

Eventually, it seemed that she couldn't take the teasing any longer. Using her legs, and the mercy of Cesare who did not fight back, she flipped them resting on top of him.

"Oh, God!" She heard him groan as she slowly edged her way down and let him enter her fully. The control made her feel powerful, it was entirely from her movements that he blasphemed and arched his back this man who so many seemed to fear.

"Fuck." She cursed leaning forward so she could be as close to him as possible as their hips rocked against one another.

Frenzied, Cesare pushed up against her, hooked his arms beneath her legs and found his way back in control. He wanted to devour her, own her, show her how much he loved her.

She didn't protest. In fact, she welcomed him, moving her legs higher around his waist and running her fingers through his hair. She made soft, breathless moaning sounds in his ear which drove Cesare to crazy. It was not long before they reached their high. He smiled into her neck as he finished planting one last kiss there.

She had been made for him. He was convinced of that now more than ever. When God had created Amara He had been thinking of Cesare and he was not going to let her go without a fight.

In the morning, Cesare groaned as he reached out across the bed and was met with nothing but blankets. Squinting, he sat up and stared at Amara who was brushing her hair, fully dressed at the vanity.

"You are up early."

"I have been thinking." She sounded oddly pleased with herself.

"About?" Cesare looked around for something to parch his throat.

"Alfonso of Aragon." Amara stated plainly.

He squinted trying to think what she could possible have to discuss about the young prince. "What about him?"

"Well, what do you think of him?" She prompted.

"He reminds me of a puppy."

"Exactly." Amara said proudly, jumping onto the bed to be with him. "I think he should marry Lucrezia."

"What?" That woke him up. His brow furrowed as his eyes grew wide.

"Let me speak, Cesare." She held her hands up. "The issue with men in this world is that they are malcontents. They age and all the hope of glory they had in youth is replaced by bitterness for the world. That is the type of man Lucrezia normally must marry, but with Alfonso it would be different. He is young and full of charm and joy – he had faced no real hardship and would adore her."

Cesare thought for a moment on what she said and then had his own revelation. "And it would link the Vatican to Naples."

"Well yes, that too. So what do you think of my proposition?"

Quickly, he reached out and grabbed her."I think it is a very good idea indeed."

She squealed, pressing against him. "I thought you would take more convincing."

"Do you think Alfonso would be happy in the match?"

"I do not see why not." She was waiting for his objection to come any any moment. "He is a bastard son and we are giving him the world."

"I will speak to the king." Cesare announced jumping from the bed. "We should try to prepare Alfonso too. I believe this king likes children to be easy." He said his last point thinking back to Carlotta and how forcefully she had fought the king on the matter of marriage to a cardinal.

Just like that, Cesare had pulled on his clothes and was gone from the room.

Amara found herself at the sidelines during the Coronation ball. The whole day had been exhausting and not as exciting as she had thought. Although, the ceremony was beautiful and Cesare crowned the king without error. She had been alone, apart from Sancha, for most of the time and spending the day with a woman who despised you was shockingly not too much fun.

So, when she finally had a chance to escape she snuck back into darkened corners of the ball which was well and truly underway.

Abruptly, a soft voice whispered in her ear. "My uncle approached me about Lucrezia Borgia?"

Alfonso was smiling at her, most likely understanding her wish to remain hidden. "And what did he have to say about the envy of Rome?"

He thought on her question for a moment before answering. "That she is very beautiful and in want of a husband."

"So it was quite a subtle conversation then."

"What is she like?" It was not the first time a man had asked her about Lucrezia. Still, she loved the woman more than she felt the pang of jealousy.

"Breathtaking. She is the light of every room she enters."

"I think everyone can agree she is beautiful." He muttered almost annoyed. "But what is she like?" Amara stared, it was very rare that someone needed more information about a future bride. "I plan to be with her until my dying day and I could not live with someone who is merely stunning."

"Oh…" She thought of Lucrezia. The first friend outside of her family she had. she remembered their first meeting, how young they had been, and how they had grown together. "Well, she is quick and kind and… ruthless."

"Ruthless?"

"Not in an unkind manner, she is after all my dearest friend, but there is a fire in her that we all seem to have. Hers is not easily kept at bay, especially when wronged."

Alfonso brought the goblet up to drink. "So never a dull moment then?"

"No, I do not think you will find that in Rome."

"We would return to Naples though."

She gawked waiting for him to say something. It was as though he were speaking a foreign language and the translation did not meet her ears. "Yes, I suppose you would." Lucrezia would have to leave her? Only Cesare would remain. Although, maybe something could be done. It was not unheard of for husbands to stay in their wife's city - and that city would be Rome in the Vatican itself! "But the wedding would have to be in Rome."

"I agree and so does my uncle. I am to return to Rome with yourself and the Cardinal."

"Excellent news." Amara said and hoped that it sounded somewhat genuine.

Meanwhile, across the room from Alfonso and Amara, Cesare Borgia was having a very different conversation with Sancha. "I have been spending the week with your little ward."

Cesare stiffened. Sancha never brought good omens. "I am sure you are very happy with the company."

"It's strange, don't you think?" The beauty frowned as though in deep thought.

"You will have to be clearer, my sweet sister."

Sancha waved a hand around while she made her point. "That she can be so wise and yet know so little at the same moment."

"And what is it that you think yourself wise about?" He was frustrated now. She enjoyed her games and he would give her some of them, but not at the expense of Amara.
"Well, your marriage of course." Sancha revelled in the moment, waiting for the perfect moment to continue. "I understand that you would like to keep things quiet until the time is right… when do you think it will break her heart the least?"

Cesare turned on her, a face full of thunder. "If you utter a word -

"Please calm down." She soothed rolling her eyes at his reaction as though it were over the top. "I would never dream of doing such a thing. My husband on the other hand might not be so… careful."

"I am warning you." Cesare was surprised how calm his voice was considering she was threatening to take all he held dear. "If you dare hurt her."

"You think I am the one intent on wounding her? Cesare Borgia, you are the one who holds the knife. She has been led to believe that you will marry her when we both know that has never really been an option. There is only one villain in this story."

Cesare wanted to say something back. He willed his mind to come up with something. Yet, there was nothing to say. She was right and it caused the fire inside him to rage. A small smile came to her face as the silence continued to grow.

In the end, he decided it was best to just walk away. Crossly, he glanced from face to face trying to find Amara. Surely she would be stuck talking to some boring old noble pretending to be interested as he droned on about his estate. He found Alfonso and Joffre, but the girl in her blue dress had completely vanished from the room.

Of course, he thought suddenly remembering Amara's habits, she would have escaped the room. Turning on his heel, his set his sights on the door leading out to the terrace.

There she was. Her head tilted towards the moon, her arms cradling her body from the late summer air and her hair falling in soft waves down her back. Out here everything felt a lot simpler, his father, Naples - God the whole of Italy could crumble to nothing just as long as he could keep her here in this moment.

Amara felt his presence first, only turning to smile at him once he was a step or two away.

"You shouldn't be out here all alone."

"I am not alone." She quipped smiling at the guards at the end of the terrace. Their faces remained stoic as they pretended not to hear her.

"I suppose…" Now it was his turn to face the moon. Amara tried not to think of Juan and tried even harder not to imagine Cesare thinking of Juan. The terrace was laced with brightly coloured lanterns and she was close enough to a guard or the party that someone would be able to hear her scream. However, you couldn't scream when Juan came near you, her brain thought before she could stop it. If Micheletto had not arrived you would have been mute.

"I was foolish on that night." Cesare did not move, it was the first time she had mentioned anything to do with Juan's attack. "I should not have gone out into the courtyard and I most definitely should not have tormented Juan by scolding him for being with that girl."

It was the first time he had heard of any other girl being on the scene. Micheletto had not mentioned it when explaining the events to him. Still, that was not important right now. "You did nothing wrong. The Vatican is your home, you should have been able to go into a courtyard."

"I should have gone straight back inside when he first started talking, but it was Juan and for all his torments I didn't think he was unsafe." Amara blinked away tears unsuccessfully. "And I feel so horribly guilty about it."

Snapping to attention, Cesare reached for her arm and pulled her away from the guards towards the other side of the terrace. The last thing he needed was more gossip about them.

"There is no guilt at your door, Amara." He reassured taking his thumb across her cheek to wipe the tears.

"Yet Juan is dead and I am thankful for it." And there it was out in the open for the whole world to know, her greatest shame, that she was glad she did not have to see his face or worry that at any moment he might come bounding round the corner looking like a cat who got the cream. Nothing happened though. The world remained entirely unaltered by her deepest shameful secret. God didn't come from the sky and strike her down and Cesare did not look at her as though he could not stand the sight of her any longer. In fact, she thought his face was almost relieved.

"Amara…"

Maybe it was the tone of his voice as it gently called into the night, but she couldn't stand the world anymore. An angry bubble of tears burst from her. She wept for what Juan could have done to her that night, she wept because he was dead and some part of her missed his once smiling face that had turned so sour. She wept for her brothers who had sent her here. Mostly, she wept for the girl who had arrived in Rome all those years ago and she wondered what she would think of her older self sobbing at the coronation of the king of Naples.

A/N: Hello - Happy new year everyone! It's 2021 and it can only get better I suppose... Hopefully. Sorry for anyone who got a double update the first one I uploaded had loads of computer language in there with it!

Please let me know what you think! It really helps when the writer's block hits to read your reviews and see your views to know there are people out there on the other side - and know some of you share in my Cesare obsession. So please if you can come talk to me! Hopefully I will be able to get something down on paper soon and upload again. And maybe 2021 will be the year that I can write the part of the story I've been dreaming of since I started this fan fiction!

All my love,

A x