"When life is getting you down, just Fhtagn in there!"
- Graduation quote of a miss Helsa von Eldritch, prodigal daughter of the von Eldritch family. A brilliant student and stunning spokeswoman, Helsa graduated top of her class from Hellfire High, Hell's premiere private highschool. She, along with Charlie Magne, were both nominated as class valedictorian.
For most of the demons left stranded in the castle courtyard, surrounded on all sides by writhing walls of tentacles, things seemed dire. As they waited for Baxter, Wership and Sir Pentious to calibrate the group teleportation, most of the King's allies remained quiet and pensive, struggling to overcome the shock of the Arrival. All that they had worked towards, all the improvements to Hell they had made for decades, destroyed in an instant by forces beyond their control. Despite their best intentions, they couldn't help but feel at least a small amount of contempt for Ego; it was his meddling with the Void that had brought upon the Old God's wrath. It was more clear than even that the King truly had no interest in improving Hell for the better, at least not anymore. Once the prospect of returning his loved one to him was made available, thoughts of his duties and responsibilities became tantamount to nothing.
The King, meanwhile, paced around the courtyard with a zeal that only served to put the other demons on edge. Seeing their friend smile may have been a positive feeling, but it didn't take a lot of social cues to know that his happiness bordered on mania. Hands wringing, a crazed look in his eyes. Truth be told, there had always been at least a thin veneer of fear between the demons and Ego. It was only natural: being a creature of both angelic blood and demonic body, the King was one of the few beings able to truly kill a demon in Hell without the use of Exterminator weaponry. For decades they had carried about their work under the presumption that the King still valued them as friends and allies; that he still cared about them. Now that trust had begun to fracture.
"The calibrations are complete and we are prepared for departure." Baxter announced, making a few final adjustments to the screens built into his chair. Vaggie furrowed her brow.
"So how is this going to work? You're telling us that you built teleporters under the foundations of the castle?" Baxter raised an eyebrow at her.
"We had no need, the technology was already in place. I suspect the royals often used the technology to discreetly traverse Hell. In fact, it's more than likely that they used this very system to escape imprisonment after-"
"That's enough, Baxter." Vaggie cut in on her partner's behalf. Charlie's parents were a sore subject at the best of times, and these were certainly not that. Baxter merely shrugged.
"Very well. In any case, I would advise all participants to unclench as many muscles as possible. Jaws, balled fists, etc. This technology has a tendency to cause muscle spasming, as well as tinnitus, skin irritation, spontaneous combustion, and nauseation."
Husk interjected. "What the fuck did you just say?!"
Sir Pentious cackled, ignoring him. "Next stop, Von Eldritch Manor!" With that he dramatically pushed a button on his handheld device, covering the courtyard in a blinding blue light for an instant. Then, they were gone.
There was no point mincing words: Hell was in tatters. Black tendrils stretched for miles in every direction, expanding outwards from the epicenter that was once the Royal Castle. Buildings, roads and parks were all torn asunder by the writhing masses that spread out like malignant tree roots, sucking the life out of an already struggling landscape. Yet two particular spots remained notably free of the Old One's influence. First and foremost, the tendrils avoided the great Beam of angelic energy, as did all of Hell's normal denizens. The remains of some of the first tentacles to expand out were scattered around the Beam's source, still smouldering from the holy burns.
The second, less obvious site that they avoided was the historic Von Eldritch Manor. An obvious circle was formed around the estate, leaving even the surrounding orchards wholly untouched. The area itself was opulent to be sure: vast topiary gardens and hedge mazes surrounded the central residence. The statues and sculptures in the gardens seemed to warp and shift even when standing still, meeting at strange angles that unnerved any outsider. Rumors had long circulated that the mazes around the manor served as gateways to other realms, and that the von Eldritch's often used them as makeshift prisons for competitors. How many were invited to the Manor for brunch, only to be lured into the endless, shifting mazes of madness, never to be seen again?
If the landscaping was foreboding, the Manor itself was truly menacing. An enormous structure made of pitch black stone, inlaid on every surface with luminescent green carvings. The entire Von Eldritch family history could be read around the Manor's exterior, though few made it close enough to get more than a glimpse of the horrors depicted, and fewer still entered the building itself.
Thus, when the King's assemblage found themselves transported to one of the Manor's expansive orchards, the uneasiness they felt was not simply due to the teleportation. The Slayer and King were the only two to remain standing, although even the King had to rest his hand on a nearby gnarled tree to regain his balance. The other demons were less steady, collapsing to hands and knees, gasping for breath. Even Baxter looked a shade greener than usual, controlling his gag reflex as best he could. A few minutes of moaning and dry heaving later, and eventually their bodies returned to normal. Angel Dust groaned and got to his feet, scowling at the scientists.
"Just so you know, I'm leaving a bad review for the trip." Baxter just looked at him quizically.
"I wasn't aware there was a rating system in place." He turned to Ser Pent. "Do you devise that at some point."
Pentious just pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ugh… I believe he is being sarcastic, sir."
"Never mind that, where are we?" Ego asked, taking in the surroundings. They were all standing in a neatly organized grove of strange trees. The trunks were a dark brown color, yet seemed to reflect light somewhat, as if they were covered in a sheen of slime. Dark, twisting branches reached towards the sky like claws, and from the tip of each branch hung a strange fruit; they were star-shaped, looking almost like a lemon in terms of hue and size, yet gave off a small amount of yellow light that cast the entire orchard in a dim glow. Out of curiosity Ego flew up and grabbed one from the tree, which came off with a sickening popping sound. "What the hell are these things? I've never seen a fruit like this."
Charlie coughed a bit, getting her senses back after the trip. "Oh, those are Elder Starfruit. The Von Eldritch's have their fingers in a lot of pies, but one of their… less detestable businesses are growing these things. I wouldn't recommend them. Really sour, and even worse they can give you halluci- holy shit, Wership!" She cut herself off upon seeing that their small robed companion had proceeded to climb a nearby tree, and was now sitting in a branch devouring fruit, one in each hand. Ego just chuckled and walked over to them.
"Heh. Well, Wer is a spawn from the Old Gods. He used to work for their last messenger, Nyarlathotep, before helping me take care of him for good. I'm sure these are a delicacy to him." Ego eyed the glowing fruit in his hand and crinkled his nose before throwing it over his shoulder. "As much as I'd like some food, I'd like to skip the visions more. Seen enough weird shit today." The Sanguine King then turned towards the nearby gardens, whose foliage started about 100 feet away. "C'mon, we've got business with the plantation owners."
The crew walked in relative silence. Ego and the Slayer took up the front, with Baxter and the other scientists picking up the rear. Wership shuffled around the group, gleefully gurgling and picking stray fruits off the ground before shoving them into his tentacled mouth. Husker and Charlie warily glanced at the small being as he ran. They didn't trust him, with reasonable logic. If their home was being ravaged by the Old Gods, having one of their spawn so close to them wasn't the most comforting idea. Vaggie and Angel Dust tried to alleviate their concerns. Being the other two demons to aid in the fight against Alastor so many years ago, they could vouch for Wership's reliability.
After a while they entered the gardens, the manor looming ever closer. From all around them, topiary carvings and occult statues seemed to glare down at them, only elevating the feeling of dread that the manor cast on them. Passing by the outer border of the mazes, they could all swore they heard a distinct sloshing sound, like wet meat. The group chose to ignore it, out of necessity as much as fear.
At long last they reached the front gateway of the manor. The doors were seemingly made of the same odd wood as the trees in the orchard, and as such the crew could see their faces reflected back in the eerily shiny facade. Ego scanned the frame for some sort of bell, but seeing nothing he took a deep breath and knocked on the door, the sound echoing out into the deafening silence.
Almost immediately noises could be heard from inside. A soft slapping, squelching sound rapidly approached from within, along with a small screeching sound. The Slayer readied his shotgun, and Ego took up a fighting stance. However, a woman's voice soon followed the sounds, getting louder as it neared the door.
"Shoggy! Shoggy, I told you not to bark at the door!"
The original noises seemed to screech back at her, before letting out a last short yip. Finally the door creaked open, revealing the source of the noise. There, standing in the doorframe, was Helsa von Eldritch, daughter of entrepreneur Frederick von Eldritch. She was adorned in cushy, fluffy evening wear, evidently just having gotten up from a cushy evening around the fireplace. In her arms was the source of the first noises: a small bundle of tentacles and slime, wearing a pinky fluffy collar. Clearly the beast was some sort of family pet, albeit a nightmarish one.
Helsa, on her part, looked out from her comfortable safe haven to see the leader of Hell, grinning as he had never seen him before, with a behemoth of a man standing next to him, and a gaggle of her least favorite demons holding up the rear. Her expression immediately sunk, realizing her nice 'end of the world siesta' was now ruined. "...Shit"