What's this? A chapter not centered around parenthood? Shocking!

Just for clarity's sake, the Blaise in this chapter is Detective Blaise Corso.

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Mal asks, looking extremely uncomfortable. Blaise tosses him an Xbox controller and laughs as his discomfort grows.

"Because," she says breezily, "it's my turn to choose what we did tonight, and Kai already said we can't do another make-fun-of-him night."

"That's right!" Kai props his feet up on Blaise's coffee table and rests his hands behind his head. "Although I'm not opposed to a make-fun-of-anyone-else night. It was kind of fun, in a weird way."

"Okay, but why Grand Theft Auto?" he asks. He shoots a desperate glance at Natara, who only shrugs and sips her beer. "Doesn't it seem a little, well…"

"Fun?" Blaise offers.

"Awesome?" Kai counters.

"Ironic?" Natara suggests.

"Childish," Mal frowns at them all. "I mean come on, we're all adults here. I thought video games were supposed to be for kids."

"Well actually-" Natara starts.

"I hate it when you say that."

"-videos games are a pretty significant part of our culture, regardless of age. There's even subcultures within it. It's all very fascinating, really."

"Yeah, yeah, video games are the window to a person's psyche," Kai says obnoxiously. "We all get it, now let's play!" Natara rolls her eyes, but doesn't respond.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Kai," Blaise says.

She boots up the console and grabs the controller back from Mal. They all wait around for a while, waiting for the game to load. Privately, Mal thinks it takes too long and that it's a sign they should do something else. He's about to suggest it when the load screen disappears at the same time Blaise's apartment door opens and Jeremy walks in with snacks.

"What'd I miss?" he asks.

"Literally nothing," Mal gripes. "The game only just finished loading."

"Awesome," Jeremy grins. He dumps the bags of chips on Kai and settles himself on the couch between Mal and Blaise. "I love this game. Who's going first?"

"First?" Mal asks. He looks around, and notices something for the first time. "Hey, wait a minute. How come there's five of us and only one controller?"

"We take turns," Blaise says, furiously pressing buttons on the controller. "Duh. Hey Jer, you got the timer ready?"

"It's been ready since I sat down," he says.

"Awesome." Blaise finishes pressing buttons and immediately pauses the game. When she turns back to the rest of them, she's grinning in a way that make Mal's stomach plummet to his toes.

"Why does she look like that?" he asks Jeremy.

"Detectives," she says, her voice theatrically grave all of a sudden, "and Agent. And Kai, I guess-"

"Hey!"

"-we die like men."

"We're going to do what?" Mal's eyebrows pull together, but Blaise doesn't pay any attention to him.

"There is only one rule: survive, for as long as you possibly can." Without even the briefest hesitation, she unpauses the game and lobs the controller at Kai.

"A 5-star wanted level?!" he shrieks as he looks at the game. He scrambles to get a solid hold on the controller. In the second it takes him to find it, the avatar's head bursts apart in a spray of pixelated red and the game flashes a sickly, translucent green.

"Time!" Jeremy says, his eyes on the timer on his phone. "You lasted three seconds."

"You lose!" Blaise laughs, punching the air.

"That's not fair!" Kai yells. "You didn't give any warning, and I have a bag of chips lodged under my arm!"

"Excuses, excuses." Blaise stalks over to Kai, grabs the controller back and begins jamming buttons again as the game reloads. Together, they all watch the wanted level increase rapidly once more. "Now, who's next?"

"I don't know about you," Jeremy says, eyeing the timer again, "but I have to say I'm a little impressed." Blaise only grunts in response as Natara gives a light laugh.

"Oh you think you're going to run a red light?" Mal says gleefully. "I don't think so!" On the screen, an animated SWAT van clips the side of another car, causing it to spin out wildly. Bullets pepper the two cars as sirens wail and a character yells for the avatar to come out of the vehicle with his hands raised.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind," Blaise grumbles.

"Maybe not, but this is far more entertaining," Natara says as Mal continues to ram the SWAT van into other vehicles.

"Get 'em Mal!" Kai cheers, his fist raised. "Show no mercy!" Onscreen, the SWAT van slams into the back of another vehicle, and they all watch with a mixture of horror and amusement as the driver goes flying through the windshield.

"That's what you get for not buckling up!" Mal laughs. "Click it or ticket! Or whatever catchy phrase they're using these days!"

"He's going on nearly ten minutes with minimal damage," Jeremy says.

"Probably cause he stole one of the most armored cars in the whole game," Blaise says.

"How'd he even manage to do that?" Natara asks. "You'd think the police would kill him the second he got close."

"Hell if I know," Blaise says with a shrug.

"Hey, can I give people tickets in this game?" Mal asks without taking his eyes from the screen.

"Why would you want to?" Blaise asks, throwing up her hands. "Besides, that's not what SWAT does."

"No, but it would be funny!" Mal continues to maneuver the SWAT van through the crowded streets, and the others aren't sure he's aware that he's laughing as he does. The sirens of the other police cars only make it more chaotic.

"Hey, we should tell him about the army base and the tanks they have in it," Jeremy says to Blaise. Mal doesn't hear, but Kai perks up immediately.

"There's a what in where?"

Blaise glares at Jeremy. "Thanks, partner," she mumbles.

"I call the next turn!" Kai yells. "As soon as Mal dies, I get the controller."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Natara snorts as Mal rolls the SWAT van, carving a path of destruction as it goes, then somehow manages to land it right side up and continues driving. "At this point I kind of think he might be invincible."

Not that anyone was wondering but just in case someone was, this is an actual thing my friends and I used to do in college. The chaos was unparalleled and I have distinct memories of trying to outrun the GTA cops in a forklift.