Complicated Love

Chapter Ten

Ino.

The platinum blonde looked around frantically, searching for the source of the familiar voice she missed so much. It echoed past her ears, sweeping away towards the ceiling. As she craned her neck, hoping to see a face, something caught her eye. Gone was the black uniform. Her regular outfit was back on her body, violet material clinging to the contours of her body. And the slashed forehead protector? Nowhere to be found. Ino brought a hand to her shoulder. No dull pain. She felt her ankle. No pain either. Where was she?

Dad?

Where have you been?

There was no mistaking her father's voice this time. Goosebumps prickled on her skin.

Dad, so much has happened. I don't even know where to start.

Ino, I need you to tell me where you are.

She was enveloped in white space. Well, it was a lot more than just white space. As she tried to look into the distance to get an estimate of how far the end of the space came to a close, the blonde noticed that everything was shrouded in mist. Her ponytail swished as she ran through the endless void, the ends of her hair damp from condensation. With each step, her bare feet hit the ground with a soft thud.

The kunoichi stopped short, realizing that there was little purpose in blindly running further into the unknown territory she was enclosed in. The words echoed back but she had yet to pinpoint where they were coming from.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Ino tuned out her surroundings, attempting to recenter her focus. Her sensory abilities still worked, and she felt a jolt run through her body yet she was unable to project how far the source was from wherever she was.

Am I trapped in a genjutsu?

-x-

Ino couldn't shake the feeling off.

As the mind user stood beside Deidara in the study, none of Pein's words were registering. The Akatsuki leader was reading aloud information from a manila folder, and as much as Ino tried to focus, it became lost in thought. She contributed a nod every so often, but everything was going in one ear and out the other. All she could think about was the dream.

Ino had been feeling tense ever since she witnessed the Two Tails extraction. The simple task of falling asleep was starting to become a small, but festering roadblock in her new life as a missing nin. Nonstop training and running errands for the criminal organization should have left her exhausted, which it had. Throughout the day she would drag herself across the base parameters, looking forward to a blissful night's sleep but as soon as her body hit the sheets, brain activity refused to follow suit.

Last night she laid flat on the bed, an anxious churning in her stomach.

The dreams, sometimes nightmares about her family were so vivid she often woke up in the middle of the night screaming. Other times, she would awaken in cold sweat and her body tingling. There was no shortage of violence and bloodshed, on occasion she would sometimes be able to smell certain scents while dreaming. If there was no violence or bloodshed, she would be given a cruel tease of how life would be in an alternate scenario, one where she had chosen to abandon her standing as a member of the Akatsuki and return to the village where family and friends welcomed her with open arms. Waking up with a hole in her heart solidified the reality that it had been, and would only continue to be a dream.

It was impossible to try and fall back into sleep afterwards. When that happened, she was forced to stay awake, wallowing in her own thoughts and worries. Perhaps a part of her was still dwelling in guilt surrounding her first kill. Under normal circumstances, she would have been able to keep her emotions in check, keeping personal feelings from influencing her actions as a kunoichi. The platinum blonde wasn't sure what caused her to snap and unveil such a horrific part of herself that day. It almost scared her.

With the Two Tails secured, the Akatsuki were now even more pertinent on hunting down the rest of the tailed hosts.

"Have you seen Tobi? He is due to meet Zetsu and myself to discuss their travels."

"Tobi gets to go on a mission while we can't? How is that fair, un." Pein tsked, narrowing his eyes.

"Need I remind you that you were both badly injured not too long ago?"

"Where is he going?" Ino asked, only half interested in the response.

"Returning with Zetsu to the Land of Waves. I want to dig up the Seven Tails' whereabouts and it doesn't hurt to send them back."

"I can't say I'm thrilled to hear that, un."

"I have a different task in mind for you and Ino." Deidara perked up.

"Really, un?" The Akatsuki leader sighed.

"In all honesty, this was Konan's idea. It seems that fate wants me to continue delegating tasks to you, Deidara. Because everytime I send for the cell I know would do a solid but painfully slow job- Itachi and Kisame, they've still got their hands full finishing up whatever assignment I sent them on. As we speak, they're wandering off to Iwagakure, hot on the trail of Four Tails." The artist looked annoyed at the mention of the Uchiha as the fire haired leader continued to drone on about his juniors.

"Then there's Hidan and Kakuzu who are efficient yet often sloppy in their work. Hidan has a penchant for dramatic flair, but not everything I ask calls for that. Meanwhile, Zetsu is- "

"Hatafuri, I think I get the point, un. You want me to take this because there's nobody else for you to assign it to."

At least it's a step up from the useless work, he thought with a frown.

He and Ino had been stuck on patrol duty, guarding the base's parameters from wild creatures for the past month and it was getting old. A trained monkey could do it. In between, they had busied themselves with training but there was only so much to do when both of them knew there wouldn't be a mission assigned to them in the near future. So much clay had gone to waste making snakes and spiders. He hadn't killed anyone with an explosion in over a month and felt antsy.

But Tobi? Getting sent on a mission with a member outside of his cell? It was almost unheard of.

"I'm changing things around. With Ino on the team, Konan has brought to my attention that the chances of us getting the one or nine tailed host are much, much better. But don't look too excited just yet, I haven't forgotten the hiccup that happened last mission." Deidara narrowed his eyebrows but continued to listen.

"The two of you will be staying in Sunagakure at a lodge near the hot springs." Pein continued, pushing a scroll across the desk towards them.

Was that a smile they detected in his tone? Deidara internally sighed, wishing his leader would stop aggressively shipping him with Ino. It only added to the awkward factor.

"There's a man who goes by the name of Soro. He has been our information source on the Kazekage for the past year, having done business with him in the past. You could say that he knows the ins and outs of that estate like the back of his hand."

"I see, un."

"When the time is right, send a clay bird back to base and I will know to supply you with reinforcements."

"I would eventually like to try capturing a tailed beast for myself, un." The blonde grumbled, grabbing the scroll and tucking it into the sleeve of his cloak.

"Your time will come, Deidara."

-x-

Ino didn't know how she felt about going to the Sand Village.

It puzzled her how they were to pull this off. With summer weather at its peak, the amount of travelers coming into Sunagakure would be astronomical. They had ditched the forehead protectors, but the infamous cloaks were blaringly obvious. The black cloak dotted with red clouds was bound to be a dead giveaway, and she wondered if the Akatsuki leader had even thought about this being a potential issue for the assignment. The sketch of this 'Soro' person was vague, rendering it good as nothing at all, and they were only left with the profile information to rely on. She felt a shift in the air as they began entering into desert territory, and pushed her bangs back, as sweat began to form along the edges of her hairline.

The other thought on her mind was the Kazekage and well, the Kazekage's family. Add that to the list of former colleagues and friends who had yet to hear of her alignment status. Or perhaps they had. Ino turned her head back instinctively, expecting ANBU to be trailing behind.

Had Konoha gone into an uproar about this? Did they care enough to put a bounty on her head?

Even from thousands of miles away, she was still preoccupied with the public's perception of her.

"Are you feeling okay, un?" Deidara stopped walking to look at her.

Ino forced a smile but it never reached her eyes.

"I'm fine. Just haven't been sleeping that well lately, that's all." She replied, stretching her arms. It was unclear how long they were to remain in Sunagakure but she was thankful this assignment allowed for some rest time and nothing too extreme. All they had to do was meet the informant and await Pein's orders. If they managed to successfully locate said informant, that is.

The clay artist didn't buy her words, his aqua eyes never straying from her. It seemed like she had wholeheartedly accepted her new status as a member of the Akatsuki. She no longer spoke against the Leader's orders, held her head up a little higher when donning the trademark cloak and slashed forehead protector, and more recently, carried out the killing of a basement prisoner. He was impressed after having witnessed the clan jutsu that Pein had spent months raving about and now understood the role she was to play in their future endeavors.

Nonetheless, it seemed like she was so detached from everything even when he was standing right next to her. It was as if she could pull her presence like a light switch. Even when standing beside her in the same room, her body was there but her mind showed signs of being lightyears away.

Truthfully, she hadn't been sleeping well, but he only believed that to be half the story. Last night had been the third time he had had to coax her back to sleep after she woke up from what he could only assume was a nightmare.

They continued along the road in silence, sandaled feet kicking up dust every few steps. He figured if she wanted to tell him what was truly bothering her, she eventually would. It was a fine line that he was walking between prying for information when she wasn't ready and trying to get to understand her on an emotional level.

-x-

The mass number of travelers piling into Sunagakure had been a blessing in disguise. With civilians donning clothing of all fabrics and colors, the two blondes in black melted right into the crowd. She and Deidara hadn't said much to each other on the way here, both of them occupied in thoughts of their own. The clay artist was rather guarded today, and the aura she sensed from him today was off.

They arrived at their destination a few hours later as day began to transition into evening. No matter how many times she had traveled to the Sand Village, it still threw her off how hard it was to tell time. Even well into the night, the nighttime breeze remained warm and the sun took its time setting.

-x-

Her body melted into the mattress. It was as if she hadn't realized how worn out the day trip had made her. As she closed her eyes, she felt soreness begin to set in. Deidara set his belongings down before joining her. But he didn't make any move to roll closer to her or wrap an arm around her like he normally would. Ino sensed hesitation from him, and wondered if this was due to her setting boundaries.

Ino felt a little sad, but reminded herself that the mission came first.

"I don't remember the last time I was sent on a mission this far away." She commented, watching the artist kick off his sandals before rejoining her on the bed.

"Even back home, un?" The platinum blonde shook her head. "The last few I went on were escort assignments." Ah, there was that feeling again. That feeling of insufficiency never failed to creep in at the worst times.

Her insecurities had slowly begun to fade away as she grew accustomed to this new lifestyle she had been thrown into, but Ino never stopped to ask herself if she was truly happy. To be grateful she hadn't been killed was one thing, but to sit and ponder if she was satisfied with where she was at was completely different. Identity wise, she had yet to figure it out.

"Have you ever been back?"

"To Iwa? Not since I joined, un."

Ino stared out the window of their room, watching the desert like domain. There was hardly a shrub of green in sight. It was like everyday brought her further and further away from her roots.

Can I imagine myself doing this long term?

Being part of the Akatsuki was something larger, as Konan had put it. There was a greater cause that was more important than her immediate needs. Each and every member had a personal goal, a psychological itch to satisfy which was why they were there in the first place. Ino didn't mind this, her short time as a Jonin had prepared her to adopt this way of thinking. While becoming stronger had been a short term goal she had hoped to accomplish, the Yamanaka began thinking about her own purpose.

She would be nineteen in three weeks.

While it was normal to ponder about the future, becoming a missing nin had never crossed her mind as a possibility. This wasn't the kind of lifestyle that would permit her to start a family, or allow her to come and go as she pleased. As of now, she had no home. The only thing she could do was move forward.

Ino puffed a sigh, reveling in bittersweet thoughts and her own foolishness.

-x-

She decided to test out the mind link.

I have to be completely alone first. She thought, scanning the corridor. Deidara had slipped off into a deep slumber, leaving her with an opportunity to roam around as she pleased.

If her father was attempting to communicate via mind link, this meant that the leaders of the Village Hidden in the Leaf had been informed or at least made the decision to declare her as missing. The pain traveled through her body, making her heart ache. And how could it not?

She assumed the doors were all guest rooms.

Her senses twitched, and this time Ino was certain it was her father trying to reach her.

Funny how I only notice when I'm alone.

The platinum blonde treaded down the hallway along the pristine white walls that lined the hostel. They were thin enough for her to pick up on mumbles of conversation between other guests. Half a block away, she heard the splash of water and hissing steam. The hot springs were much closer than she thought.

At last, she reached the bathroom at the end of the hallway and slipped in, locking the door behind her. There was barely enough room to turn around but she would make do with what was available.

Leaning against the sink counter, Ino closed her eyes in an attempt to drown out other noises. The back of her head tightened. She was straining more than usual, which was almost unheard of.

Dad? It's Ino. I only have a minute so I'll make this fast.

-x-

Ino wanted to take full advantage of the hot springs because who knew when there would be a chance to relax again. Deidara, on the other hand, had woken up from his nap and decided to do some poking around to see if he could gather any information from either those who frequented the hot springs or the staff working there.

She was pleased to find that the pool area of the facility was divided for men and women. It was mid afternoon, so the area wasn't too crowded.

After stripping off her black two piece and wrapping a towel around herself, Ino made her way over into the water. The high temperature met her skin, sending a jolt through her body. She wiggled her toes underwater. This was a good decision and she was glad she had decided to come here instead of returning back to the room. A few minutes passed and her body adjusted to the hot waters. The platinum blonde leaned her head back.

She had never felt a headache like this before.

She shut her eyes, appreciating the momentary pause of pain. Reaching up, the blonde pulled to loosen the hairtie tightly wrapped around her hair. The entirety of her scalp instantly relaxed but the strange hammering she felt on top of her head continued. Even the slightest clench of her jaw sent the nerves in her temples screaming. It wasn't dehydration. She had had plenty of water, knowing they would be in a desert setting. The pain was indescribable and came and went in intensity.

The mind user waded to the corner of the hot spring, hoping that it would pass after a nice soak.

-x-

She vaguely recalled getting dragged out of the hot springs by two women frantically shouting. How she ended up back in their shared room, Ino had no idea. Her throat felt dry and she coughed, gasping for air. What she didn't expect was to be staring into the face of a very angry Deidara. Her eyes took a minute to focus, alternating between the textured beige ceiling and the blazing blue eyes looking down at her.

The platinum blonde stirred, realizing she now had a robe tied around her body. The rough material felt hot on her skin.

"They said you fainted, un."

Ino mumbled something incoherent as the artist handed her a glass of water which she chugged. She sat up, coughing. Her eyes met Deidara's and she flushed at the thought of him seeing such intimate parts of her.

He officially knows what I look like naked. The platinum blonde thought miserably, embarrassment was a generous understatement. She rubbed her temples.

"You should have told me you were going out, un." He said quietly.

"Sorry."

"You scared me, un." He mumbled, standing up from the bed to walk towards the bathroom. Ino grabbed his hand.

"Wait, don't go."

She kissed him forcefully, throwing her arms around his neck and dragging him ontop of her. Deidara kissed back, confused but wasn't about to complain about this rare expression of physical intimacy.

"This isn't like you, un." He barely got a chance to finish as she gripped a handful of his hair, pulling him closer.

"What's wrong?" The artist murmured against her lips, reaching for the hands in his hair and bringing them down. He held Ino's hands, taking a seat back on the bed as he waited. She looked up at him and smiled sadly.

"Now what, I can't kiss you anymore?"

"It's not that, un." Ino sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong." She patted the spot next to her and he climbed over, allowing the platinum blonde to rest her head on his shoulder as he leaned back onto the headboard.

"I-I think I've finally figured out why I can't sleep at night." Deidara turned to look down at her, still listening.

"My dad's been using our clan's mind link to reach me."

"And did you get a chance to speak with him, un?" Deidara didn't know what compelled him to ask, he was already sure of the answer.

"I turned off the mind link." Ino's voice was shaky as she did her best to hold back tears.

I'm getting really sick of crying all the time, she thought to herself. She hoped Deidara wouldn't ask any questions that would force her to provide further details.

His response was nonverbal. The artist pulled the covers over both of them and enveloped her in a soft hug, kissing her forehead.

And from that, she knew he understood and was grieving right along with her.

-x-

They woke up the next morning after one of the lodge's staff informed them that Soro had arrived. As the two blondes sat on a bench in the lodge's common area, Ino wondered how civilians knew to keep an eye out and how much of a payment Pein was dealing under the table for information.

"Some of the staff work for the Kazekage, un."

"Informants don't get paid much, do they?" Deidara shrugged.

"Seems popular for the wrong reasons, un. I've never been on a mission like this."

"But then again, ever since you were recruited into the Akatsuki I've been doing things I never thought I would have done before, un."

Ino smiled.

Soro arrived shortly, and they were surprised that he looked almost identical to the sketch provided. The three of them then moved to an empty room where plans for capture were discussed in great length.

"In comparison to the rest, I don't think the One Tail is as powerful as the others, meaning that the capture should be a no brainer for professionals like you two." Ino and Deidara exchanged looks. If only Soro knew of their incompetence that was their last mission.

"Well, I should be getting back soon." The man looked around, and she sensed fear in his voice. "She doesn't like tardiness."

"Who, un?"

"My fiance. She's the Kazekage's sister."

A/N : There's chapter ten! We will see when the next update happens. Thanks for reading, as always!

xo, D. Sparkle