I do not own Twilight.

Rosalie

"Do you think Bella is alright?" Emmett asks me one evening.

I sighed and rolled over to look at him. The initial spark of life the family experienced when we found out about Bella had been short lived when she had started avoiding us. It was now two weeks into the school year, and we had scarcely heard from her.

We currently had the house to ourselves, so I hoped he would start to open up to me.

"I am sure she has a good reason."

Emmett sighed, I could feel the tension in his body and wished I could help. Not only was she avoiding us, Carlisle wouldn't let us hack any information to find out if she was alright. We had worked out her school schedule and tried to bump into her as many times as we could during the school day, but other than a quick hello she didn't reply. Even the handful of texts we had exchanged were brief and without emotion.

"Maybe she is struggling with the settling into school. The workload must be a strain on her. Adapting you know." It was a lousy excuse, but I was desperately trying to sooth him.

"Ye, maybe." He didn't sound like he believed me. "I miss her."

We all missed her. It had been hard work keeping Esme from approaching her. She cooked food and tried to give it to us to pass on. She is such an incredible mother and we can all tell the strain being unable to look after Bella is placing on her.

Alice was still unable to see her. This was starting to ware her down. We had expected Alice to be an unstoppable force, but in reality, she seemed awkward and unsure. Something we hadn't expected from the pixie. Jasper was concerned, we had spoken on a hunt a few nights.

Deciding to try a different tactic, I rolled out of bed.

"Where you going?" Emmett asked me, he had apparently been enjoying the cuddle time.

"I'll be back in a moment," I said, "Just wait here."

I ran downstairs to my bag. Although I keep up with the times, especially in terms of cars, I don't feel the need to be attached to my mobile all the time. Taking it out, I send off a text to Bella. Included in the text are the phone numbers for the rest of the family.

It wasn't something I was proud of, but I hadn't been as welcoming of Bella ask, I could have been back in Forks. Maybe she felt awkward with me. I refuse to let my family suffer because of my jealousy.

Running back up to bed, I lay back down in his waiting arms. Nothing had been solved, we were no further forward, but sharing always had a calming effect on my husband. Tonight, we just needed each other's company.

It was nice, relaxed and peaceful. At dawn, everyone started trickling back into the house, so we took this as our cue to get up for school. At this stage most of us were only going with the hope of seeing Bella.

I stood under the warm shower head simply enjoying the feeling. It wasn't the same as when we were human, we didn't have sore muscles to soothe and we didn't feel the same relaxation. It's one of the many human activities that I miss.

Sighing, after a good half an hour under the spray, I got out and prepared for the day. As a vampire, there isn't much to do. We can't brush teeth, no breakfast, everything is done at lightning speed, it's amazing how something so simple which humans find a frustration could be missed so much.

Alice had an early lesson that morning, so Jasper had driven with her to school and Carlisle had left for work, so it was quiet when I arrived back downstairs.

Emmett had the TV on, not properly watching it, just staring. I sat down opposite him and pulled out my phone, checking for messages. Surprisingly, there was a reply from Bella. Checking the time stamp, it had arrived not long after I had sent it. What Bella was doing up gone midnight, I didn't know, but I hoped it wasn't due to illness.

Why do you even care? Gotten bored without your pet and want it back, well I am sorry to say I'm not interested.

What did that mean? Something must be amiss, when did any of our family ever refer to her as a pet? I couldn't help but wonder if the story Edward gave us a year ago was a true account. Surely, he wouldn't have lied to us.

Unease was starting to fill me, if he had been lying to us, that would have explained the guilt that Jasper had felt but been unable to place.

Please, just meet with one of us. We need to discuss what happened. What about Carlisle at the park near you? He is off all weekend. ~ R

Hopefully she wouldn't feel too pressured by this, but it was clear that we needed to find out more information.

Bella

"I've told you; everything here is good." Jake was rambling on, he seemed convinced that I was hiding something. Obviously, I am hiding something, but he can't know that. Telling any of them about the Cullen's would be a disaster. They would drag me back to Forks.

"If you say so, how are the lessons going? They suitably challenging enough?"

I laughed, another thing they didn't need to know about. As far as they were concerned, I had flown through the last two weeks of school with no issues at all. That wasn't the case. I was struggling to keep up in class, my memory not storing the information for long enough. The physical demands of travel, moving around campus and looking after the house was also adding a lot of strain. Avoiding Cullen's wasn't taking the pressure off either.

"Much more my level, it is nice to have friends that I can have an intelligent conversation with." I knew I was avoiding his question and he was likely to notice, but I couldn't bare lying to me. He had been my rock through so much and I owed him better.

"Just make sure you look after yourself Bells. The whole pack misses you. I had to help Seth with grammar homework the other day."

"Oh no, that's not good. I didn't even know you knew what grammar was!"

"Ye, joke all you want, but I am not as much of an airhead as you all seem to think. Cut me some slack." I loved the easy banter that I could have with Jacob. He cared but also knew, most of the time, when to lay off. "I'd better go, you need your beauty sleep."

"Thanks Dad," I scoffed at him, "Talk soon, reassure Charlie that all is good, he seems worried."

"I'll tell him all's good when I know that all's good, sleep well Bells."

We hung up. It was true that it was getting late. Sleep was a struggle lately. After getting in from a morning of lessons, I just needed to sleep, but sleeping all afternoon left me wide awake in the evening. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep at night meant I was exhausted before I left in the morning.

"Erugh!" I complained throwing the pillow over my head. I had some sleeping pills I could use if I needed them, but I hated how groggy they made me feel and the false rest.

Getting up, I decided to make myself some warm milk and honey. It was a trick that one of the tribe elders had taught me. A warm calm drink and breathing exercises. It was hit and miss, but I was running out of ideas for tonight.

I was careful moving around the house, Diana was asleep, and I didn't want to be responsible for waking her up. Opting for the hob instead of the microwave, really, they need to build a mute button for the ending beep, I set it to warm.

A few minutes later, the milk was ready, and I settled myself on the couch. The warm mug in my hands helped me relax. Slowly, I started inhaling the sweet aroma. Thinking about the ocean, I started to take control of my breathing. In, hold, out, hold. In, hold, out, hold. I had spent so much time at the la push beach that imagining the waves came as second nature.

I allowed myself to be lulled into easy relaxation. I wasn't sleepy, but at least some of the tension was starting to lessen. After a while, the breathing pattern became second nature and I didn't need to think about it anymore.

I simply sat. I could hear the sound the waves made in my mind. The crash as it breaks the shoreline and then the shish as it's pulled back. The way each of the waves synchronise themselves to create patterns of music. I imagined the rocks underneath me and the cold spray on my face. The smell of salt. It was almost like I was there.

My drink had long since finished, but I didn't care. I was in my brain was in its safe space. A space free from stress and worry.

I nearly cursed when a beep broke me out of my stupor. Blinking, I gazed around at the room, trying to determine what had made the noise. Everything was still. The room dark except for the warm glow from the lamp. Glancing down, I checked my phone.

It would be great if we could catch up soon. I've attached the other's numbers in case you want to arrange something with them. ~ R

Immediately, the stress and worries of the day hit me like a truck. My muscles tensed, mind became fatigued and I was incredibly irritated. What was she even doing messaging me at this time?! Sure, they don't sleep, but I should be.

Fuming, I stormed into the kitchen forgetting my resolve to be quiet. I roughly washed the now cold dishes and left them on the draining rack. All the time I was angrily muttering to myself about stupid vampires. I subconsciously hoped that I hadn't woken Diana and if I had that she hadn't heard my ramblings, but it didn't occur to me to be quiet.

Stalking back to my phone, I picked it up and looked again at the message. Sending off a bitter response, I left it on the side and went to my room. Last thing I needed was to start an argument at this time of night.

Closing the door harder than I had intended, I turned and leant my back against it.

"You're not good for me Bella." I heard his words replaying in my mind. "We won't bother you again." Lies! "Time heals all wounds for your kind." More lies!

I didn't cry. I didn't shout. I didn't even move. I sat on the floor for hours. I felt like I did that night of the cliff. The desperation for the feeling of freedom.

I was trapped, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling. They would all overreact; they'd find out about everything else I have been hiding. No, telling wasn't an option. I had to find a way to fix this on my own.

Sighing, I get up and make my way back to bed. Glancing at the clock, I start in surprise. The bright lights show clearly the time. 08:20. The clock must be wrong. Looking over at the window, I see for a fact that it isn't. It is light outside.

Damn, I'd better get ready or I'm going to be late.

Hurrying to get dressed, I am out of the door quickly. I need to run, or as much of a run as I am capable of, in order to get to the bus on time, but thankfully I make it.

From there, the rest of the morning is a rush. Forgoing breakfast means that by second lesson my stomach is growling, and a headache is starting to develop. Halfway through, I give up and ask to leave. I needed to find something to eat otherwise I'll be in trouble.

Making my way out of the classroom, I walk slowly to the college café. It isn't fancy, but they have plenty of sweet things for me to eat and I could get myself something warm to drink. Caffeine was a no go so coffee was out, but some tea would be nice. I sit on one of the sofas in the corner, out of sight to anyone unless they were looking for me.

I take out my phone for the first time that morning and see another message from Rosalie. Why won't they just give up and leave me alone?! It wasn't what I was expecting. Not that I really knew what to expect after such a rude message, but it definitely wasn't that.

Carlisle sounds like a good idea. He at least knows how to listen without crowding.

Deciding I don't want to speak to any of them unnecessarily, I contact Carlisle directly. I doubted that he really wanted to see me, but I would humour their game for a while, if it got them off my case. Maybe they would realise I'm still just a distraction and leave again.

Is that what I wanted? Did I want them to leave? To never see them again.

I couldn't answer any of those questions.

Almost immediately Carlisle replied saying he would be happy to meet me the following morning. He suggested 9 and offered me a life. I agreed to the time but declined the lift. Being stuck in a car with him was not a pleasurable idea. No, the park is close enough that I can walk without too many issues, it's also on the bus route if I need another way back.

I put my phone away and pulled out the work from the lesson. It didn't seem difficult, so I worked my way through the information sheet we had been given, hoping I would be able to catch up what was missed.

This was a stupid idea! I thought to myself as I trudged down the path towards the park. Why did I ever agree to meet them? They're just going to mess with my heart and dump me again. Charlie and Jake will kill me if they find out.

Too late now though, far too late to back out. I am sure he already knows how close I am. Damn vampire senses.

Taking a deep breath, I walk over to the bench I can see him sat on. It's awkward, he barely looked at me as I sat down and placed my stick on the floor. It would have been more sensible to bring my frame, but I refused to appear weaker than I needed to. Except in exceptional circumstances, I would not use the frame.

"Hello Bella." He finally turned to look at me and I saw the angst in his eyes. What did that mean? Was he here to tell me they were leaving again? Was he going to insist that I leave? Why would he look so broken? This man was a steadfast calm individual.

"Hi," I replied nervously.

I was sitting as far away from him as the bench offered, but it didn't feel far enough.

"Please don't be nervous, I just want to talk." I nod at him and he continues. "Would you like to start? Or I can? Whichever makes you feel more comfortable."

I deliberate for a moment and say, "You can start, your meeting after all." I knew my voice was cold, but I didn't seem able to make it any more friendly.

He frowned at me and started talking. "Well as you know, we left Forks on your request and came here. We've been here ever since…" I looked up at him sharply, shocked by his statement.

"What do you mean?" My voice was shaking. "My request?"

"After what happened with Jasper, you understandably asked us to leave."

I could only stare at him. What on earth was he talking about.

"I never asked you to leave," I whispered.

It was his turn to look confused. "Edward said that you insisted we leave and didn't get involved with your life again. He said you threatened to expose us." My breathing was raising. I was starting to feel flushed. Edward had lied to them? Had lied to me? My mind was whirling with confusion and questions. "From your response, this wasn't what happened?"

"No."

He waited for me to continue, but I didn't. "Could you tell me your version of events?"

His voice was calm again, he must have noticed my panic and was trying to help me calm down.

"H – He took me into the woods and told me how he felt. He didn't want me anymore. I was just a distraction. I'm not good for you all." I felt sick saying those words aloud. Why was I here, I shouldn't be getting involved with them, making their lives complicated again.

"Breathe Bella." Carlisle's hand touched my shoulder and I flinched. "None of that is true. You were the best thing that happened to our family and we have been broken without you."

I focused on my breathing, barely hearing the soothing words of nothingness coming from next to me. "That's it Bella, you're doing great."

Finally, I was back in control of myself. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"No need, do you want a moment." I nodded and he sat back against the bench the impression of relaxation. His hand didn't move, but I didn't shrug it off. It felt nice.

I took some time to collect my thoughts. I might not be able to make sense of them at the moment, but I could at least put them in order, maybe colour code them. Sighing, I looked up at him and nodded again, showing I was happy to continue.

"Can you tell me about what happened after we left? Then I can fill you in on the rest."

I breathed in deeply and let it out slowly, preparing myself for the story.

I told him about my zombie days. The way I was detached from reality barely eating and screaming all night with nightmares. I admitted to how low I was in myself and how I didn't feel able to carry on alone. I told him about how Charlie had threatened to send me to live with Rene and I had dragged myself up acting human. I told him about meeting Jacob, how things improved for a while, how we had fixed the motorbikes together. How he had also abandoned me. The grief when my world collapsed yet again. I told him about finding out about the wolf pack, the problems with Laurent and Victoria.

"The wolves managed to kill both of them, but Victoria managed to get to Harry. He was Charlie's best friend. I didn't know anything had happened."

I went on to explain the day of the cliff, the way I had heard his voice. I told him about the hospital, the recovery, about how much life had changed after that stupid decision. I told him about all of the medical details, the way Jacob and Charlie had supported me.

"Renee didn't come down; she was busy with Phil and didn't seem very interested. Sue stepped up and helped me, but it wasn't the same. She was doing it out of obligation. She loved me but had recently lost her husband. The relationship was cold." Throughout my story, my voice was cold. It was like someone else was using my body and I was simply watching them. I was detached.

"We should never have left," Carlisle said softly. "We have no right to ask for your forgiveness. You've been through immense hardship due to our family's actions and I apologise most profusely. I'm so sorry Bella. I will do anything I can to make it up to you."

I looked up at his face. Does that mean they are staying? The question must have been written on my face.

"Yes, we will stay." He squeezed my shoulder and I let out a woosh of air in relief. "There are some things that I need to tell you if you are happy to listen."

"Of course."

"I feel I need to impress onto you how much my son lied to you that night. I am sure you are aware that he lied to us also. We wouldn't have left had we known. The last year has been difficult for us also. The spirit in everyone went out. It was like being around corpses. We kept up appearances, but behind closed doors there was nothing. No life."

I gasped; they were really torn up over this. Over me. I listened as Carlisle told me about how each of the family had responded. I was shocked to hear that even Jasper and Rosalie had changed; they had never given me the indication they cared much. Jasper maybe in the hotel, but definitely not Rosalie.

"A month after we moved here, Edward decided to leave the family for a while to go traveling. Esme called him often, worrying about him, but after a while he stopped answering. We haven't heard from him in several months now."

It was only now that I noticed that E… HE had been missing from school. How had I not noticed that.

"When we lost contact, I asked Alice to check on you, thinking maybe he had gone back. But she couldn't see you. You completely disappeared from all of her visions. We thought you were dead." His words were laced with sorrow. They had grieved deeply for me. "You're alive though. You have no idea how much of a shock that gave us all."

I didn't know what to say. He had lied to me. He had lied to his family. He was missing.

"I'm sorry for causing such a rift in your family."

He placed his hand under my chin and moved my face to look at him. "This is not your fault. Do not blame yourself." I could see in his eyes that he meant those words, but I didn't know if I should believe him. Maybe they were playing with me.

Deciding to throw caution, I wrapped my arms around him. He immediately returned my embrace and held me for several minutes. Repeating his words to me. I tried to believe them, I really did, I just couldn't. I felt numb inside, like the lights had gone from the world.

He pulled away slightly and held me at arm's length. "It's getting on, you must be starting to get cold." I took a check of myself and realise I had indeed started to shiver. "It's only 3, would you like to come back to ours for a while? I know everyone would like to see you."

I bit my lip. Was I ready to see everyone? To forgive them. Was it a good idea to trust them all again? I could hear Jake screaming in the back of my mind to tell them to leave again, but I couldn't. They were the family I had always dreamed off.

Carlisle sensing my discomfort continued, "Or any other time. There isn't any rush until you are ready." I smiled at him and muttered a thanks. "Are you alright getting home? I can give you a ride if you'd like."

Once again ignoring my sensible head, I replied, "That would be nice."

Thank you for reading, please review to let me know what you think.