Ahaha I had a feeling this would happen. So sorry for the long delay and thank you for understanding how hectic the season is haha. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season, consider this my "gift" haha. Anyway, lets get into some reviews from the last chapter.
A Reader-Hey, I'm backkk! This chapter is so great. But, dude, I was gonna cry when Rue's mom and Prim were interviewed. It's legit sad. Although I loved this chapter and the previous one, I have two tiny comments: In the previous chapter, you put the part where Katniss and Rue were talking about Peeta and how their romance was actually a strategy. Meanwhile, in the books, Katniss and Rue both covered their mouths and talked during the anthem so that Capitol won't hear them. Plus, think about it. If Katniss openly spoke about their love being a strategy, Panem would've known that the berries weren't because of Katniss being out of her mind due to love, right? Second, in this chapter, you included the part where Katniss buries Rue with flowers, but, in the books, Katniss noticed that that part was omitted when she watched the re-cap after winning. I'm sorry for focusing on such details, but, recently, I was reading The Hunger Games for the millionth time and couldn't help noticing these stuff!
This is actually a really important observation so thank you for bringing it up. I wanted these tapes to show nearly everything that Katniss and Peeta went through so I decided to include details the Capitol may have decided to cut. I'll address this later in the chapter.
Guest-This fic is so good! I don't typically read hunger games fanfiction where their kids find out about the games because the ones that I have read are rushed and they don't feel authentic, but this story is so well written. Plus, kudos to you that you are managing to rewrite an old fanfiction on a regular basis because most people that I've read only do a few chapters. Can we get a part where Lily goes to Haymitch to ask him about the games? Can we just get more Haymitch (and maybe Effie and Annie) in general? Of course you don't have to do that if you don't want to, or if it goes against what you have planned.
Thank you so much! And I honestly couldn't stand not rewriting this story after rereading my old one, it's so bad hahaha. And yes I definitely want to include more characters in the future.
Zzzarsa-I had an idea for the next chapter. Maybe lily could demand answers from Katniss about Gale as the questions she is allowed to ask. Katniss says no so then she makes Gale answer her questions and she learns abt how he liked her and how he was partially responsible for Prims death. And then maybe the next day Katniss decides that lily was right and deserves to know what happened as part of the agreement. Then she hears the story from both points of view.
OOO, interesting! Yea I think I'm going to have more interactions with the rest of the characters, just creating a better balance with the tape side of the story and the relationship part of the story. It's been a little rough, but practice makes perfect haha.
Rawlimad000-Hey! I just really wanted to let you know I've been loving reading your story and can't wait to read more! I like the reaction Lily gives to everything, cause in most of these fan fictions the kids responses are not even surprised, but the way you write it gives it a more lifelike feel. Seriously, good job!
Thank you so much, it's really important to me that I show and emphasize how traumatic the events of the Hunger Games were on Katniss and Peeta, as well as the rest of Panem, and how that trauma doesn't just go away with time.
Now, let's get into the story!
~Jillian
Xoxo
(Lily's POV)
It's the soft sound of birds singing that wakes me up. A sweet melody that compliments the golden light that shines through the leaves of the woods. It's the only sense that registers until the scratchy feel of the carpet under my catches my attention. With a groan I push my head off the carpet, rubbing the indent on my reddened cheek. As the bleariness starts to clear from my head, the events of the very long night come back to mind.
I don't remember when we all passed out, but I'm guessing it was sometime around the announcement of the rule change. The elation hits me all over again, the pleasure in finally understanding how both of my parents survived. A rule change. Of course.
After Katniss had screamed out Peeta's name, I quickly asked Adrian to pause the tape, needing a minute to process everything that had happened. The explosion, Rue's death, watching Katniss kill for the first time, the rule change, it was too much to handle all at once.
"I can't believe this," I had said, "I'm terrified but excited to see how they'll win. I feel awful."
"Lily don't be mad at yourself. You're curious, it's natural," Celia remarks, placing a comforting hand on my leg.
Adrian nodded in agreement, "I know I would feel the same way if I was in your place. It makes sense to be at least a little bit excited to see all the pieces come together."
I think I laid down sometime around then, just staring up at the ceiling, vaguely registering the sound of Adrian and Celia quietly talking to each other.
But now it's morning, clearly. I spot my phone and grab it, cringing at the screen. It's almost 10am, and texts from both of my parents wondering when I'm coming home keep popping up. I decide then I might as well get it over with and get up. Leaning on my elbows I start pushing myself to my feet, but I feel a strange weight on my waist keeping my down.
Adrian's arm is draped over my waist, leaving his hand splayed over my stomach. I chuckle slightly, for as long as we've been friends, I've known Adrian was a cuddler. It's a trait that I personally found adorable, and it drove me crazy when I had feelings for him. But now, even though those feelings have gone away, I find myself smiling happily at this quirk. Placing my hand on his in order to move it, my touch startles him awake.
His body flinches and his eyes open in a flash. I restrain my smile watching the drowsiness in his demeanor. With a yawn, he meets my eyes, the green reminding me of sunlight against a leaf.
"Sorry for waking you," I tease, "but I seem to be a bit trapped."
Quick confusion then realization flashes in Adrian's eyes as he looks to his hand placement. In a rare display of embarrassment, Adrian's face flushes red and he rips his hand away as if it had been burned.
"S-sorry," he apologizes, leaning away from me. I quirk my head, amused if not slightly confused by his embarrassment. I decide to let it slide, noting how he can't seem to meet my eyes.
"Don't worry about it. No biggie," I reassure, standing up and straightening out my clothes. I make my way over to the coat closet, grabbing one of the sweatshirts I've stashed here over the years. "I'm just changing my shirt. I think my parents would find it a bit weird if I came home in the exact same clothes as yesterday, don't you think?" I joke, turning my head to look back at him. Surprisingly, his face has only darkened in color as he manages a nod.
I wait a second or two, the two of us not breaking eye contact. A sneer graces my face, "So uh, you mind turning around?"
Adrian's back tenses, "Yea yea, sorry, I guess I haven't fully woken up yet." He turns around quickly, shoulders rising and falling slowly.
I shrug off his odd behavior, he must have been as shaken up by the tapes as I was.
I pull yesterday's shirt over my head, shivering as the cool air hits my bare stomach, and shrug on the oversized purple sweatshirt.
"I'm good!" I call out, seeing Adrian turn back around out of the corner of my eye. His posture is much more relaxed, beginning to stretch the sleepiness out of his muscles. I smooth down my hair and grab my school bag. "I'm gonna head home, okay?" I say, looking to him as I walk to the door. "I think…" my eyes find the floor, becoming fascinated by a scuff on the wood, "I think I need to talk to them about things."
Adrian's eyes flash in concern but I shoot him a smile, forced or not, it doesn't really matter, it helps assuage his worries a bit.
"Tell Celia I said goodbye!" I say, waving goodbye as I walk out of the cabin and into the early morning chill.
Fall in District 12 has always come fast, cooling the air and painting the leaves. I love the way the orange leaves crunch under my shoes. The way the sun streams through the trees like stained glass. The way the birds sing quietly, preparing to take their leave in the coming months to go down south. Fall honestly might be my favorite season.
I let my thoughts wander as I make my way home. I needed a plan. I'm about halfway through these games, and I think I'm beginning to gain a semblance of understanding. They were afraid of me seeing what they were forced to do. But honestly what hurt me more was seeing what had been done to them. I want to talk to them, to be open, and honest. I want to know about what was going on inside of their heads, the fear, the anger, the strategies, everything. But if I want them to be completely honest with me, I need to do the same.
I need to tell them about the tapes.
(Katniss' POV)
It's nearly 11 am when Lily comes home. While it was already late in the morning, I was surprised when Lily didn't try bargaining for more time at Celia's. Usually they get breakfast or meet Adrian somewhere so they can all hang out together. But I'm not gonna complain about my daughter being home with me.
She's rumpled with sleep, her hair in a messy ponytail, and wearing a purple sweatshirt she must have borrowed from Celia's house.
Lily flashes a wry smile to where I sit on the counter helping Peeta dry dishes. "Hey Lily', " I greet, hopping off the counter.
The water coming from the sink turns off, "Morning Flower!" Peeta says, causing a more genuine smile to bloom over Lily's face.
"Hi daddy," Lily drops her bag by the door and, to Peeta and my surprise, runs to give Peeta a hug. The second she wraps her arms over his shoulder he freezes, but recovers instantly, hugging her close to him. I stand off to the side, stunned, at the sight. It's an image of healing, forgiveness, and recovery. Lily tucks her head into the crook of Peeta's neck and Peeta sighs, giving her a tight squeeze.
And if I wasn't already shocked, the sound of pf quick breathes and sniffles would have definitely caught my attention. I force my feet to move and walk over to my husband and daughter. Lily has tears making tracks down her cheeks, her face flushed in red. Lily senses my presence and looks up to meet my eyes. The sight of her tear-filled eyes has me falling to my knees and placing my hands on her cheeks.
"What's wrong Lily? What's happened?" I whisper, my voice raspy. A shudder rushes through her, and Peeta reluctantly pulls away to look at her. Her eyes flick between the two of us, worry and concern no doubt shown plainly on our faces. I see the decision being made in her eyes, the determination to do what she's wanted to do.
"I've been lying to you guys," she confesses, wiping away at her eyes, "I haven't been learning about the Hunger Games just in my history class." My heart stutters and my hand instinctively reaches out for Peeta's, who grips mine eagerly. "I've also been watching tapes of the Games with Celia and Adrian in our cabin," Lily spits out.
She says it all so fast my brain needs a minute to comprehend her jumbled words. But once the pieces click together, the truth has me stumbling back in shock, my hand flying to my mouth. My eyes find Peeta in a second, and if he's as shocked as I am he hides it well. But while he doesn't look that surprised he definitely looks scared, and a bit sick.
"You-!" I start, my voice at a yell, but Peeta places an urgent hand on my arm, cutting me off.
"Not down here, okay?" I answer with a nod, and grab Lily's wrist and begin leading her upstairs, following Peeta. He brings us into our room, closing the door behind Lily. There's a pause, and I look to him, asking silently with my eyes. He nods, and I let loose.
"YOU WATCHED THE TAPES?" I shout, making Lily cringe.
"Katniss." Peeta deadpans, shooting me a look.
"Sorry...I- I'm sorry," I apologize, noting the guilty look on Lily's face. "I'm just really… I'm just surprised. I didn't even know you knew they existed."
Lily huffs and flops onto our bed, "Yea, I didn't either, until my teacher told us about it."
"So what did you do? Where did you find them?" Peeta asks gently, sitting next to her on the bed, though much more gracefully.
"Well that's easy," she starts, sitting up, "I just rented them at the video store."
"They just sell those at the video store?" Peeta asks, incredulous.
"We were told when we reformed the tapes there would be more protocol in place so they were taken seriously, not sold next to slasher films and cheap romances." I scoff, pacing the room angrily.
"Wait what-" Lily starts, but we're quick to move on.
"So you've been watching these tapes with your friends in our cabin? For how long?" Peeta questions, leaning a bit closer to Lily. She meets his eyes briefly, before she looks away, that guilty expression finding its way back onto her face.
"Since the first day of school…"
My mouth opens, as if to yell again, but nothing comes out. Revelation takes the place of anger.
Peeta speaks my thoughts out loud, "So that's what you've been doing every day? Why you come home so late?"
"Yes," Lily's voice is breathy, her words coming out in a sigh of relief, "We've met up nearly every day since we first found out, and watched a bit of the tape in the cabin. But we've only gotten about halfway through."
I feel my curiosity spike, "What does that mean? What part are you up to?" Peeta and I share a look, my own curiosity reflected back in his clear blues.
"The rule change. We're up to when they change the rules so two people can win the Games if they're from the same district."
I swallow the bile that has risen in my throat.
Peeta places a gentle hand on my wrist, tugging me to him. His eyes plead with me, for me to let him in. It doesn't take much work for me to give in. I basically fall onto his lap, my arms wrapping over his neck as I bury my head into his chest. I'm not crying, but I feel nauseous. The memory of every emotion I had felt at the moment I heard the rule change making my stomach churn.
My arms tighten around him, pulling him closer to me, desperately closer. He reciprocates easily, his hands around my back, rubbing circles along my spine.
"That's definitely an interesting place to leave off," Peeta remarks, looking at Lily over my head.
"Yeah well, I needed a bit of a breather," Lily retorts. God, it's never been so evident that Lily uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism, much like I do.
Peeta chuckles despite himself, removing one hand from my back and reaching out to Lily. I remove my head from his chest and see he was holding Lily's hand, comforting her, a reminder we aren't upset with her, just at the unfairness of the situation.
Lily's shoulders rise as she takes in a deep breath, calming herself, "I'm sorry for not telling you, but I felt it was time."
"It's okay," Peeta answers, "we understand. If anything we should have known you'd take it into your own hands to find the truth." His lips quirk up in a knowing smile, seeing how his justification soothes Lily's nerves.
Then, as if a light goes off in her head, Lily remembers something. "Wait! What did you mean when you said the tapes were reformed?"
I sit up fully, turning on Peeta's lap to face Lily, sharing a quick look of decision with him. "During the first few years after the war ended, there were a lot of decisions that we were faced with," I started.
Peeta continued the explanation, "President Paylor had come to us and the remaining Victors and asked us a question. Did we want to release the tapes of the Hunger Games to the Public, or did we want them locked away forever?"
Lily's eyebrow quirks up in confusion, waiting for an actual explanation, and I smirk at her impatience, continuing, "It was really hard to come up with a decision at first, it seemed like everyone wanted something different."
"That was until your Aunt Annie came up with a compromise," Peeta smiles again at the mention of his closest friend. "She said that if we are going to release these to the public, we show everything. Every horrible, rebellious detail that happened during the games. To show we weren't compliant, and that not everything was as it seems. To take some authority over our suffering." Peeta looks me in the eyes, piercing my soul, "To show we were never just a piece in the Capitol's Games."
I feel a shiver, a powerful feeling, run through me, as Peeta stares into my eyes and I stare into his. The sound of Lily clearing her throat awkwardly breaks our connection.
"So there were things originally cut out of the tapes that you guys put back in for public viewing?" She asks.
"Exactly. For example, I'm guessing you saw me putting flowers around Rue?" I ask. Lily nods slowly, cringing slightly. "Well when the Hunger Games were first broadcasted and recorded, the Game Makers refused to show that part. They didn't want the public to sense a hint of rebellion against the Capitol. Even though all I wanted was to show that Rue's life meant something."
Lily nods in understanding, I'm guessing the full impact of what I was saying had finally hit her.
"Is there anything else you wanted to tell us, or ask us about?" I say, leaning forward to grab Lily's other hand.
She looks uncertain for a moment, her eyes flitting around the room, before hesitantly meeting mine. "What happened between you and Devin's dad? ?"
(Lily's POV)
The moment the question leaves my lips, both of my parents tense up. My mom shoots up in a flash, needing to stand and pace the room, the way she does when she's stressed. But while my mom is anxious, dad just looks sad, avoiding my eyes.
"Katniss…" he starts, standing up to join mom in her pacing. But before he can finish his thought, get out whatever comforting words he was going to say my mom turns around in a whirl, facing me with blazing eyes.
"Okay, listen Lily. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened, on one condition. Don't say anything until I'm done, okay?"
I nod enthusiastically, surprised I'm even getting this chance.
"Alright." My eyes follow my mom as she makes her way over to a chair by the window, staring out into the clouds. When she looks back at me, her eyes are as grey and clouded as the winter sky. "You already know what happened to my father when I was young, but what you don't know is that it happened to Gale's father too. The very same explosion." She pauses, taking a hand and wiping at her forehead before going on. "After that, I turned to the woods to survive, remember everything my father had taught me about hunting and gathering. One day, when I was 12, Gale found me. He was hunting too. Trying to provide for his family in the only way he knew how. After that, and an incident with a wildcat, we became friends. Best friends."
I swallow down my feelings. It's so obvious how much pain my parents have kept buried over the years in order to spare us the reality of their traumas. And each new revelation never ceases to take me by surprise.
"We were each other's hunting partner for years, we shared the same sanctuary: the woods. But it was more than that, when we were together we could actually forget that in a few hours we had to go home to desperate mothers and starving little siblings." Her voice breaks at the end of her sentence, no doubt reminding herself of her little sister, my aunt Prim. "And then...I was reaped. Seeing what I went through during the Games and knowing there was nothing he could do was hard on Gale, but the after-effects really drove a wedge through our friendship." My mom lets out a huff of frustration, standing once again. "He didn't understand what I had been through, what it was like to actually be in that arena," she practically growls. "We no longer understood each other. And of course, I now had your dad to think about." I look over and see my dad's face is pinched up, uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. I mentally slap myself for bringing it up, but my curiosity tends to get the better of me most times.
"He didn't understand our relationship. He didn't get that, while I may not have been in love with him at the time, that I was an act of survival during the Games, I still deeply cared about him. We were bonded in an unbreakable way. The two lone survivors of the same Hunger Games. He could no longer find it in himself to be the same around me. Oh god, and then he kissed me."
It takes everything I've got not to shout out, not to break my promise of staying quiet. My mom and Devin's dad have shared a kiss? That's...deeply unsettling.
"All this time he had these feelings for me, feelings I didn't share and didn't understand. He couldn't forgive that. It was only during our time together during the war that we were able to get close again, to find a friendship that was similar to what we once had. But then my sister died, and it changed everything." The anger that had been building in my mom during her rant dissipates at the mention of her sister. She chokes up, looking at my dad with tear-filled eyes, "Peeta, can you go on for me, please? I can't finish."
My dad nods slowly and I shift my body towards him. "Your aunt Prim was killed while working as a medic during the war. An aircraft with the Capitol seal on it had dropped these parachutes into a crowd of children. Everyone thought it was supplies. Until the bomb went off."
I can't contain my gasp. The idea that the Capitol would bomb and kill its own citizens, children, is horrifying.
My dad goes on, "Rebel medics rushed to help the injured and dying. Prim was one of them. She just wanted to help people, to save them. But then another round of bombs exploded. Killing her." Even my fathers voice begins the break when talking about Prim. There's not a doubt in my mind he loved her too.
He must see the question in my eyes though, 'What does Gale have to do with this?' because he continues with the story.
"Before this, Gale had described this exact kind of trap. An initial bombing that would injure and kill one round of people, luring in more to their aid, and then another would go off, killing them as well."
Oh my god. So are they saying-
"We don't know if Gale is responsible for Prim's death," my mom speaks up again, voice shaky, "but the idea that he could have been… no. It ruined everything."
All of a sudden everything in my mom's demeanor shifts, a sudden burst of energy making her words fly out of her in a rush. "I told him I never wanted to see him again, that we were done! But then- then-!"
"...he came back to district 12." I finally speak up, knowing we're at the end of the story.
My mom's eyes flash with anger, then sadness. "Yes. He came back."
My heart drops when she looks at me, the anger in her silver eyes being replaced with sympathy.
"I'm sorry Lily, I never wanted to put you through this. Any of it." She comes back to the bed where I'm sitting, hugging me tightly, and I feel my dad's strong arms join my mom's. I take my hands and hold onto their arms tightly, emotions bubbling once again to the surface.
"We love you so much."
Xoxo
I hope you guys liked that chapter! And again, I'm so sorry for the delay in posting it, I've just been a bit overwhelmed as of late haha. Don't forget to leave a review letting me know what you thought of the chapter, and follow to keep up with any updates! The next chapter should be up by January 9th!