Sorry for the delay. It's a nice fat chapter though. Please note: Rey's emails and letters in this chapter start out rather stiff and childish. This is because, as she points out, she's never done it before - no practice! She'll improve as she goes.
Also, this site flatly refuses to let me do anything approaching email addresses, so the emails look a little funny.
Many thanks to Cincoflex for the camper suggestion!
It was still dark when Rey stepped out of the motel. Clyde had texted her to say he would be down in a few minutes, and so she waited under the cover of the extended roof, hitching her pack a little higher on her shoulder and yanking at the shortened ribbon of her balloon to make it dance. She felt a little silly, a grown woman playing with a child's toy, but the novelty of it made her heavy mood just a little lighter.
There should have been a gleam in the sky heralding the rising sun, but it was overcast; the night lingered, rendering everything a little unreal. Rey was stiff and achy with a too-early waking, but coffee and breakfast would fix that.
She wasn't sure what would fix the lump in her throat, though.
He's leaving.
Neither of them had said as much, but Rey knew it was true. She'd fallen into a heavy, sated sleep on returning to her room, but dreams had plagued her all night, absurd chaotic scenarios that bore little relation to reality but kept the same underlying feeling of anxiety…of loss.
It's like when Maz died. Night after night of being alone.
Those dreams had thinned out eventually, and Rey knew these would too; after all, this was just a goodbye, not a death. And she was an adult, not a bereft ten-year-old. She took a deep breath and focused on the day to come - the first day of her week's trial at the garage, her shining, lucky chance.
Rey was just starting to worry when Clyde came out, moving quickly but carrying only his money satchel. Rey fell into step next to him. "Where's your bag?"
"I'm comin' back after breakfast," he said, not looking at her. "Got something I need to do."
His car wasn't far away. Rey put her pack and the balloon into the trunk and wondered uneasily if it would look weird to take it to work with her. But I want to keep it -
Under cover of the open trunk lid she pulled out the bag she'd put at the top of her pack, tucking it next to the ancient tire-changing kit so it wouldn't slide around. There. He'll spot it sooner or later.
It wasn't much, that package, but it was about all Rey had to give, and she wanted something more than words to thank West for what he'd done for her. It would have to do.
Clyde was silent on the short drive to the nearest Waffle World. Occasionally Rey heard him draw in breath as if he were about to speak, but he never did; and she didn't either.
The restaurant was bright and cheery, in contrast to the strengthening grey dawn, and there were few diners at that hour; most of them were hunched blearily over their plates. Rey and Clyde slid into the booth the host led them to, but Rey didn't bother opening her menu, and Clyde didn't even pick his up.
"You're leaving today," Rey said softly when he didn't speak, and he looked up. His eyes were wide and sad.
"Have to," he said. "Mellie and Jimmy - they're expectin' me."
"Of course." Rey gave him a small smile, the best she could manage but still sincere. "They'll come looking for you if you don't, or at least Mellie will."
Clyde huffed, half amusement and half familiar exasperation. "Ain't that the truth."
The server came over for their orders, bringing coffee; Rey didn't have to look at the menu to know what she wanted any more. Clyde only ordered toast, though, and Rey frowned at him, a little worried. "Are you okay?"
He shrugged. "Not too hungry after last night."
Rey had to admit her own stomach wasn't as empty as usual either, but hunger was far too familiar for her to skip a meal when it was available, and anyway she probably wasn't going to have much of a lunch - or a supper either. That thousand won't last long. Better not spend it all at once.
Neither of them spoke before their food arrived. It wasn't that they didn't know what to say, Rey thought sadly; it was just that there really wasn't anything to say. Clyde was going home, and Rey was going forward, and that was all there was to it.
You've been left behind often enough, Rey thought. You should be used to it by now. Her parents, her school friends, even Maz - they had all disappeared from her life, voluntarily or not. Clyde was just the latest.
She was just cutting into her fruit-bedecked waffle when Clyde finally broke his silence. "Will - will you call me sometime? Just so's I know you're okay."
Rey, surprised, looked up in time to catch his ears turning red. "Of course," she repeated, almost by rote, and then the idea caught up with her. "Yes! Please."
Her smile was wider this time. "I need to know if you get home safely," she added. Rey wanted that, to keep even a small connection, to be sure he was okay on the long trip, all alone with his thoughts.
Clyde's lips turned up, and he leaned back, relaxing a little. "Okay. That's good," he said, still a little flushed, and Rey scrunched up her nose and pushed the dish of butter pats towards him.
Rey worked her way through her waffle and sausage, watching idly as Clyde buttered his toast in a leisurely fashion and then ate only the insides, leaving the crusts behind. When he'd finished, he dusted the crumbs off his mustache with a napkin and looked up, serious again. "You need someplace to stay. It ain't safe for you to be out all night."
Rey put down her fork. His concern made her feel warm, but at the same time it was a little annoying. We already talked about this. "Yeah, well, I don't have much choice."
Clyde dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a keycard, holding it out across the table. "The room you was in, I booked it for a week more."
…What?
Rey stared at the card. "I…you…West, you can't."
"Already did." He put the card down and pushed it a little closer. "Not going to make me waste the money, are you?"
Now he was teasing her, but Rey couldn't laugh. It was too much, way too much, on top of everything else -
"Rey." The low word made her look up. "Lemme do this for you. So I know you're safe."
His gaze caught her, not letting her look away. And maybe it was the intensity of his stare, or maybe the shy hidden part of her that reached toward any scrap of caring, but either way her protest withered in her mouth.
She couldn't quite bring herself to say okay. But Rey reached out and took the card, and Clyde blew out a breath - relief, by the way his shoulders sagged. "Thank you."
It was hardly more than a mumble. Rey shoved the card into her pocket, unable to stop the pulse of relief at the thought of having someplace to go for a little while longer.
The auto shop was still dark when Clyde pulled up in front of it. He shut off the engine, and silence filled the car like water, thick and muffling.
It was so strange, Rey thought. In the span of a week she'd gone from spotting a vintage vehicle on the side of the road to knowing it almost by heart, inside and out. As for its driver…well, she knew the important things about him. He was kind, and sad, and smart, and in need of healing.
And a friend.
Clyde looked over at her, mouth pursed as if he were trying to keep something inside. "Wanna leave your stuff in the trunk? I c'n put it in the room, save you finding a place for it."
"That…that'd be great, thanks." He was tapping the steering wheel with his prosthesis, a nervous tic, and something swelled in her. Rey snapped off her seatbelt. "West…will you get out of the car?"
He squinted at her, then obeyed, climbing out as she did. Rey circled around the hood, and this time his arms opened first as she reached him. And if his grip was a little too tight, so was hers. She wasn't going to complain.
Her face was mashed against his shoulder, and his hand cradled the back of her head. Standing there, leaning into Clyde, Rey realized that this was the first time, in all those leavetakings, that she had the chance to say goodbye.
She didn't want to. She wanted to burrow into him and stay. But it wasn't possible; so when his grip finally loosened Rey raised her head and stepped back.
Clyde's hand and prosthesis slid down her arms as if reluctant; and as she straightened he turned his head, and his lips pressed briefly against her cheek, a clumsy, tickling touch that sent a flood of warmth through her. "You call me, hear?" he murmured hoarsely.
"You call me," Rey shot back, grinning a little and blinking away a sudden blurring.
His eyes crinkled. "Bet I will," he said.
And then there was no more reason to delay. Clyde swung himself back down into his seat; as he did a car pulled into the shop lot, and Rey recognized it as the sisters' vehicle. She bit her lip, meeting Clyde's eyes through the open window.
"Drive safe," she told him, throat closing on the words.
He jerked a nod, opening his mouth, then closing it again. His fingers fumbled for the key, and Rey moved back as the engine woke.
She watched him drive away again, this time at a safe speed; his taillights gleaming redly in the dull morning light until they flared, rounded a corner, and disappeared.
Rey swallowed hard, several times. Drew in a long, chilly breath.
And crossed the street to the shop.
The first day was hard. Very hard.
Clyde took to the highways this time. Part of it was because he wanted to get back to Jimmy and Mellie as soon as he could, but part of it was because highway driving took less attention than back roads. He could settle into a state where thoughts didn't trouble him much, where the purr of the engine and the sameness of the road kept him from thinking about anything but the traffic around him and when he'd hit the next exit.
It wasn't healthy, he knew that, but Clyde figured that if he could just hold off on thinking for a few days, it wouldn't hurt so much; and if not, he could dump it on the shrink when he found one.
It shouldn't bother him like this. He knew that too. He scarcely knew the woman; getting her stuck in his head wasn't good for either of them.
But she was. Stuck, that is.
He'd packed up almost on autopilot, not that he'd taken much out of his bag to begin with; moving the remaining food and the little candle lights into Rey's room hadn't taken much more time.
He'd trapped the balloon's ribbon - oddly short - under his stack of books, leaving them on the room's desk for her. After all, he'd read them already, and had copies of most of them at home; he sure didn't need extras.
If the memory of her face lit with excitement over her found book was behind the decision, well, no one was there to criticize.
She didn't call the first day; but when he checked his phone that night, in a motel somewhere in Idaho, there was a badly lit photo of a tiny restroom, with a mirror shot of Rey in a Tico Auto Repair jumpsuit. Her smile was brighter than the sun.
He didn't spot the paper bag in his trunk until he was leaving the next morning. It was just an ordinary brown bag, salvaged from some meal or other, but the top had been folded carefully over and fastened shut with a length of ribbon, tied in a neat bow. Suddenly Clyde knew why the balloon's tie had been so short.
His throat constricted as he cut through the ribbon - too tight to untie - and reached into the bag.
It was a book. Two children walked on what looked like lightning, high above a city; above them the cover read So You Want to Be a Wizard. A piece of paper stuck out from between the pages.
Dear West, it said in careful print. I think you'll like the story. I know most of it by heart now.
Yours sincerely, Rey
The words ran together, becoming almost indistinguishable. Clyde swiped his arm across his face, lest any moisture drop on the cover, and closed the trunk firmly.
The book was placed gently on the passenger seat, note tucked back into it, and Clyde pulled out onto the highway, heading east.
But not forever.
To: adventureboy1992
From: reyreyreyrey
Dear Clyde:
Thank you for the call yesterday. I am glad you are safe.
The job is very good so far. Rose and Paige are nice, and I have met two other employees who are friendly. Rose says she has a friend who is talking about moving and may want to share an apartment, and she will introduce me to him.
I am also looking for a second job, even though I don't know where I will be staying. I think one of the delis near the shop is hiring.
I am sorry if this email is not very good. The only time I ever wrote a letter before was in second grade. The class had to write to the Easter Bunny, it was very stupid.
Please drive safely.
—Rey
To: reyreyreyrey
From: adventureboy1992
Dear Rey:
It's not stupid. I'm happy to read anything you send.
I'm glad the job is going well. Your bosses sound good. I hope the friend has a place available soon, but please be careful. Some folks can't be trusted.
I made it almost all the way through Montana today; there were a lot of trees and logging trucks, so it was a pretty drive but I had to stay alert. I'm nowhere near the park, though. I think I'm glad about that.
Did you get the job at the deli?
—Clyde
To: adventureboy1992
From: reyreyreyrey
Dear Clyde:
I looked at the map on my phone. It is hard to tell, but I think you should be almost to Chicago by now. Will you stop there and see the lake?
I did not get the job at the deli. I am still looking. Yusuf is one of the other employees at the shop, and he says that there are jobs for delivering groceries or meals, but you need a car for that. I like him too, he is the one who told me to come back and talk to the bosses when I asked about a job.
My balloon is still floating.
—Rey
To: reyreyreyrey
From: adventureboy1992
Dear Rey:
Yep, I stopped in Chicago, even though the traffic was ugly. I did see the lake, but I also wanted to see Wrigley Field, it's a baseball stadium. I put in a photo for you. There's a real tall building that lets people go up to the top to look out, but the line for tickets was way too long so I didn't go. Maybe I'll come back someday.
I bought postcards. When you have an address I'll send them to you.
Is everything still okay at the shop?
—Clyde
To: adventureboy1992
From: reyreyreyrey
Dear Clyde:
Thank you for the photo! Do you love baseball?
Yes, everything is very good. The shop was going to try me out for a week, but Paige says that I am just what they were looking for, and they will keep me! They pay me every day.
It has rained every day since you left. Today the sun came out, and I saw a rainbow. I never saw one before. I took a photo but it isn't a very good one, but I put it in anyway.
Thank you for leaving me the books! I finished Clockwork Boys and wanted to yell, since it isn't the end of the story. So I started reading The Dubious Hills. It's very strange, but I like it so far.
Are you almost back to West Virginia?
—Rey
To: reyreyreyrey
From: adventureboy1992
Dear Rey:
Yep, I got to Madison last night. Jimmy and Mellie came up to meet me since I'm not going back home just yet. I was real glad to see them, and Mellie said to tell you hi. She wants your address so she can email you, but I said I would have to ask you first. Do you want her to write to you?
We're staying here over the weekend, and then I'm going to Charlottesville in Virginia. It's a decent-sized city and I think I can find a good doctor there. It's kind of far from Mellie, but not so far from Jimmy; Mellie had a few things to say about that, but I knew she would.
I like baseball okay. I played a little in high school but I wasn't very good at it. Wrigley Field is kind of famous so I thought I might as well see it.
Did you find somewhere to stay? I liked the photo.
—Clyde
To: adventureboy1992
From: reyreyreyrey
Dear Clyde:
Yes. Please give my email to Mellie, I would love to hear from her! Tell her I said hello too. I am very glad you got there safely. Have you been to Charlottesville before? What is it like?
I am on the waiting list at two shelters, and I am still waiting to talk with Rose's friend. Please don't worry about me. I will be fine.
I did six oil changes in a row today. That is a record for me. I hope I do not break it any time soon. Don't forget to get yours done. The window sticker on your car says it is due next month, but you have been doing a lot of driving. Sooner is better.
—Rey
To: reyreyreyrey
From: adventureboy1992
Dear Rey:
I'm going to worry no matter what. Do you know how long the waiting lists are?
I've been to Charlottesville a few times. It's got a big university and a military school, and it has a lot of history; William Faulkner lived there, and so did Edgar Allan Poe. There's a big old national park nearby too, so I might drive out that way if I get bored.
I got my oil changed. Maybe I should have stayed until the garage opened so you could do it.
I gave your email to Mellie and I bet she's written you already. She and Jimmy left this morning and I am heading out right after I send this. Jimmy says hi too even though he's never met you. I put in a photo of the two of them; ignore Jimmy's ugly face, he hates having his picture taken and he always does that.
Let me know if you find someplace to stay.
—Clyde
To: adventureboy1992
From: reyreyreyrey
Dear Clyde:
Your brother isn't ugly! And Mellie is so pretty in that picture. Yes, she wrote me right away, it was nice to hear from her.
Charlottesville sounds nice. I hope you find a good place to stay, and a good doctor really fast.
I heard back from one of the shelters, they have a place opening up in a few days. It's not permanent, but it will give me time to keep looking for somewhere to stay. They said that the YMCA has resources for homeless people so I will check that out.
Does The Dubious Hills make sense to you? It is still confusing.
—Rey
To: reyreyreyrey
From: adventureboy1992
Dear Rey:
That book is kind of a tough one. It helps if you read the Secret Country trilogy first, even though they aren't about the same people. Maybe I shouldn't have left that one for you, sorry.
I got to Charlottesville today and got a room while I decide what to do next. I might try to find a job while I'm here. Bartenders can usually find work, though my missing hand might make a manager think twice about me. We'll see.
Will the shelter have room for you before the end of the week? I can book it for longer if you need it, just say the word.
—Clyde
To: adventureboy1992
From: reyreyreyrey
Dear Clyde:
It's okay, it's nice to have something to read, especially something I don't already know. I found a library, but I can't get a card without ID, so I just go in and read there for a little while. Not very long because I am still looking for another job, but I can't help it, there are so many books! I will look for the Secret Country ones there.
I am glad you got to Charlottesville safely. The managers should be happy to hire you! Especially since you own your own bar.
There was another rainbow today, a double one, but the second one wouldn't show up when I took a photo. I found a raincoat at a thrift store, so now I don't get wet when it rains. I still like the rain, though.
—Rey
To: reyreyreyrey
From: adventureboy1992
Dear Rey:
The Orphans of Raspay is part of a series too, but it's less confusing. I don't know if the library will have the others but you can ask the librarians. Most of them are happy to help people.
I think I'll find a doctor before I look around for a job. I called up my insurance but they'll probably take a while to answer. In the meantime I can do some research. Mellie brought me my computer so I can look online. And I can keep up with the bar too. My friend Earl is keeping an eye on things but I still have to do the supply orders and stuff.
Do you still need the room? Don't think I didn't notice you not answering.
—Clyde
To: adventureboy1992
From: reyreyreyrey
Dear Clyde:
I found another job! It's stocking shelves at a grocery store. It doesn't pay as much as the shop does, but I didn't expect that. And the hours aren't the same, so I have time to do both.
I have someplace to stay, don't worry. Thank you for offering! The shelter space is available tomorrow night, and Rose is trying to get her friend to come over while I am working. It's hard, because he works too.
I said to Paige that you wanted to send me postcards, and she said I could use the shop address if I wanted, until I find someplace permanent. So you can mail them there if you want, I will put the address below.
How are you doing now that you are not driving all day?
—Rey
September
Dear Rey:
Thanks for agreeing to let me write letters instead of emails. I've never been the best at texting and such; my fingers are too big for the phone. The post office box will do until I figure out where I'm staying long-term.
I'm glad you liked the postcards. I wish I had picked up more of them, though to be honest I didn't see much besides traffic most places. Someday maybe I can do that kind of travel again, slower so I can look at stuff. I never realized how big this country is before.
Is the shelter working out okay? How long will they let you stay? I hope it's not too far from where you work.
I found a couple of doctors who work with veterans, so tomorrow I'm going to call and see if they have room for me. There'll probably be a waiting list there too, but I've got time. I've been doing some walking since I'm idle, and visiting the library. It's kind of tricky not borrowing too many books to carry back with me. Next time Mellie comes to visit I'll ask her to bring a few old favorites with her.
I'm putting in another postcard so you can see what the park looks like.
Write back when you have time. I am always glad to hear from you.
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
Thank you for the letter! It's the first one I have ever gotten. I like this better too; typing on the little screen is HARD. Everyone in school could text really fast, but I never learned since I didn't have a phone then.
I hope you get the chance to see the country again. I will never forget driving with you; even at night I saw so much more than I had ever seen before.
I've moved into the shelter. It's noisy, but clean and safe, so I am glad to be here. They have some resources for people who don't have official ID, but there's a waiting list for that too! I'm going to contact the school in Eunice and see if they can give me information. I do not think Plutt will hear about it, and if he does he won't come up this far. He is a lazy asshole.
The balloon finally deflated, but I folded it up and kept it. I want to remember my first one.
Have you gone to any of the doctors yet?
Please write again soon.
Sincerely - Rey
Dear Rey:
I'm glad you're in the shelter, that's very good news. How long will they let you stay? Did you meet with Rose's friend yet?
Plutt had better stay at home. You be careful, okay? Just in case. Talking to the school is a good idea, though.
I have seen two different doctors for what they call "prelims". I guess it's a kind of way to find out if we suit each other. It makes sense but it's annoying at the same time, if you get what I mean.
Yesterday Jimmy drove up and we fooled around for a few hours. He's working full-time so he couldn't stay long, but it was nice to see him. Next week I'll go see him and Sadie, he'll have her then. She's a good kid. He says hi, by the way.
How are your jobs working out? Everything still good at the garage?
Have you started Bone Dance? I plan to read the wizard book tomorrow.
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
The shelter says I can stay at least a month, maybe longer if the waiting list goes down, but some of the women there say it never does. I talk to them a little but most of them are very busy with their kids, and some of them don't trust people. It's okay though. I did help one lady with her paperwork for a little while since she didn't speak English and the counselor was busy, but she had to leave the next day.
Working at the garage is still great! I wish I could work there full time. The stocking job is just boring, but I don't mind. It made my arms and shoulders hurt for a few days, but now I'm used to it. The manager lets the workers take some stuff home if it's too damaged to sell, but most of the time I don't because I don't have anywhere to cook it yet.
I met Rose's friend, and he was very nice, but the apartment is too expensive for me. I will keep looking. Maybe I can share with someone from the shelter.
I hope you have a good time with Jimmy, please tell him hi back. Will you send a photo of Sadie?
I haven't started Bone Dance yet. It's hard to read at the shelter because it's so noisy. Sometimes I go outside to read but it rains a lot and I don't want to get the books wet.
I won't ask about your doctor's appointments but if you want to talk about them I will listen. Or read. You know. I hope they go well.
Did you like So You Want to Be a Wizard? There are more of them if you did.
Sincerely - Rey
Dear Rey:
I finished the wizard book. I see why you like it so much; the author did her research. I think I liked the car best. I don't know if I want to read the rest of the series, but I will look up her other books and see what they're like.
That's a good idea, finding a place with someone from the shelter. It sounds safer. But if your time at the shelter runs out before you find someplace, let me know, okay? I can fix up something to tide you over until you get a good place.
I don't mind talking about the doctor stuff with you, not really, but there isn't much yet. I have to pick one and I'm thinking about just flipping a coin to get it over with. Part of me wants to get this done, and part of me wants to put it off. It's stupid.
Sure, I'll take a picture of Sadie for you. She loves having her photo taken, she used to do kiddie pageants and that was a lot of photos and stuff. Right now she's into comics. Did you ever read Calvin and Hobbes? I got her a few of those even though Jimmy says they'll give her naughty ideas. She also loves something called Power Pack but I don't know what that is. She's drawing her own comics too. Jimmy says he never knows when she'll take to something new.
Write soon. I always like getting your letters.
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
Thank you for the photo! Sadie's very cute. She looks happy. Jimmy is a good father, isn't he?
It is starting to get cooler here. Everything is so different. Yesterday I had some time off so I took the bus out to the piers and walked around for a little while. The Ferris wheel was amazing but the water kind of scared me, it was so dark and there was so much of it. But it was interesting too, and I liked looking at all the boats and the people. It was almost like a dream, all bright and strange.
I used to imagine that kind of thing when I was little. They showed us pictures of other places in school, and sometimes I could read books in the school library or watch a little TV, but it all seemed very far away, like a story. But I always promised myself that I would get away and see everything as soon as I could. And now I have!
I hope the doctor you pick is the right one for you. I suppose you could always quit and start over if you had to, but that sounds annoying. It's not stupid to be conflicted. I think you're very brave.
Mellie says she's coming to visit you next weekend. I hope you have fun with her!
Sincerely - Rey
October
Dear Rey:
Mellie and me did have fun, it was nice to see her too. She made me go shopping for clothes, though, which I do hate. I told her I could order stuff online but she said how would I know it would fit if I didn't try it on first. It was easier to give up arguing.
Jimmy is a good dad. He tries real hard, Sadie is almost his whole life even though she doesn't live with him. Sometimes he messes up, but I guess everybody does sooner or later, and Sadie is happy, which is the important part.
I'm glad you got a chance to see the water. I went out there too, and it sure is pretty. I think I know what you mean about it; it makes everything else look kind of small and breakable. I hope someday you can see more than just Seattle - it's a big place but there's other places too.
I had my first "real" appointment with the doctor yesterday. I guess it went okay? But I'm not ready to talk about it.
Did you find someplace to live yet? I don't mean to pester you but it does worry me. Offer's still open if you need it.
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
I got another job too! It's at a car wash. The cars go through the machine, but then we wipe them down afterwards. Most of the other workers are guys so I kind of confused them. One of them pinched me, so I shoved my elbow in his face, and now they are all nice. Even the one who pinched me. Guys are weird.
Thank you for the offer, I will keep it in mind. I am still at the shelter and still looking around. I did find a couple of places that I could afford, but they were too dirty or broken to live in. I can fix some things myself, but not that much.
There aren't many trees where I work, but a few of them are changing color. Every day I look to see how they're different. It's amazing, all the oranges and yellows coming out. Even when it's cloudy, the trees glow. I think I understand now why people go on vacation to see leaves, it must be so beautiful when there's a whole forest of them.
I think Mellie's right, but can't you just find what fits and then order another one next time?
I finished The Dubious Hills, but it doesn't really finish, does it? I really want to find the other ones now. I haven't started Bone Dance yet, I don't have so much time now.
Are the trees changing in Virginia? Are they pretty?
Sincerely - Rey
Dear Rey:
Yep, the trees here are pretty like that. Boone County's a lot like here, with more trees than you can shake a stick at - they're everywhere. They turn all colors in the fall, and then you have to rake up the leaves when they drop. When I was a kid Daddy used to burn them in big piles, but people don't do that much anymore. I can still remember the smell, though, there was nothing else like it. It meant fall to me, just like apples do to some folks.
You keep an eye on that creep at the car wash. If he won't take the hint tell him you have someone who'll come out and teach him his place if he don't shape up. Because I will, just say the word.
I had another session with Dr. Min - that's what she calls it. She says she wants to see me once a week, which means I got a lot of time to kill in between, so I found a place to stay (new address is below). It comes with furniture and stuff, so I don't have to buy any. It's not too bad - it's newer than the trailer I used to share with Jimmy. I guess the next thing to do is look for a job, so I don't spend all my time in the library. Sounds awful nice though, doesn't it?
Jimmy came up again a few days ago. I can tell when he's keeping an eye on me, but I guess it's a big brother thing. I still feel bad for how I worried them, running off like that. I think if I hadn't come back here Mellie at least would have come out to look after me. This way at least she can stay at home.
You're right about the clothes. I don't know if I can convince Mellie, though. She just loves shopping.
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
Congratulations on finding a place! Send some pictures? So I can imagine you there.
Fall just meant school starting again when I was little, but I liked it. I liked learning, and the school library, and getting to play at recess instead of working all the time. I was so mad when Plutt pulled me out of school. Paige said that maybe someday I can get my GED, though I won't have time for that for a while. I like the idea, though.
Don't worry about the guy at the car wash, he's very polite now. It was sweet of you to say you would take care of him, though! My hands keep getting chapped from the wet towels, but I got some lotion for them. I might get gloves if I can find them at the thrift store.
Maybe you should apply for a job as a librarian! Or work in a bookstore. Though you might spend all your pay on books that way.
Sorry this is short, I am tired and I want to mail it.
Sincerely - Rey
Dear Rey:
I'm glad you liked the photos, though the place isn't very exciting. On the other hand, I've had enough excitement for the year, I think.
Speaking of hands, my prosthesis busted and I had to find someplace that would fix it. The wiring got loose, I think. It should be done in a few days. I haven't had it all that long, but I forget how useful it is. While I was looking for a repair shop I read up on some of the new stuff, and it's really amazing what people are inventing these days. Not that I'm not happy with what I've got, but things have changed a lot since I lost my hand.
I hope you get the chance to finish school someday, maybe even go to college. Mellie went to the local college but me and Jimmy never did.
What's the situation with the shelter? It's been almost a month, hasn't it? Are they going to kick you out if you don't have something lined up?
I don't mind if your letters are short, just please keep sending them so I know you're okay. Or call me. Please.
Yours sincerely - Clyde
November
Dear Clyde:
Something really nice happened! Last month a customer brought in an old teardrop trailer to get the axle fixed, but they never came back for it and Paige says that as far as they can tell the information the customer gave was fake. Apparently sometimes people will do that when they don't want to dispose of a car or something properly. Normally Rose and Paige sell or get rid of stuff if it's not claimed in thirty days, but Rose said that if I wanted to I could stay in it in the shop lot. She even said they would give me a key so I can use the restroom in the shop at night.
It's not in good shape, but the walls are sound, and I can fix it up some - once I clean it! Technically it's not legal for me to stay there at night, of course, but I'm not a legal employee anyway and Paige says that if anyone asks I should say I'm security! She's joking of course. I can put paper over the windows on the inside and that should keep any light from showing. I'm very excited!
I'm so sorry your prosthesis broke, I hope it gets fixed quickly! What did you use before you got it?
It's getting chilly here, not like the desert at night; more wet, if that makes sense. I got gloves, which is good, because wet hands get very cold very fast. Some of the guys never wear them, they say they don't get cold. I don't know if it's true or if they're just being macho.
I promise I will keep writing, as long as you do too. I like to know that you're okay also.
Sincerely - Rey
Dear Rey:
That is some great news, really great! What's the trailer got? Will it be warm enough for winter? Does it lock up properly?
It's getting on toward cold here too. Probably not as wet, but I know what you mean. The cold gets deeper, somehow.
I got my prosthesis back and it works good as new. I didn't have much before; they gave me a sort of hook contraption back when I first healed up, but I never could get it to fit right and it hurt, so I finally gave up on it. I used a fake hand the rest of the time until I got the fancy new one. Now it's decor at the bar. It didn't do anything, it was just there to hide my stump.
Dr. Min has me talking about the Logan Curse now, at least when I talk at all - there's a lot of silence going on in her sessions, but she don't seem to mind any. It feels weird, laying it all out for a stranger, but she don't scoff at it the way Jimmy does and that's a comfort.
Send me a picture of your new place?
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
I sent a picture of the outside, but I won't send one of the inside until I get it in better shape. Right now it's just a place to sleep, but that's much better than sleeping rough, so I am happy to have it. It will be warm enough. The lock is pretty flimsy (I may fix that too) but the lot has a tall fence that's locked at night, so it's safe.
I'm glad your prosthesis got fixed! I figure you can drive and stuff without it but it must still be inconvenient.
How did the Logan Curse get broken? If you don't mind saying. I hope you're finding your balance again.
People are putting up holiday decorations already, which is silly, but they are very pretty. Yusuf says it doesn't snow much here but I'm hoping it does so I can see it. It snowed a couple of times in Eunice, years ago, but it was just a little bit and it didn't stay. Does it snow a lot in West Virginia?
Sorry for another short letter.
Sincerely - Rey
Dear Rey:
You weren't kidding about the camper needing fixing up. But I'm glad you have a safe place. Do you need anything for it? I'd be happy to help if you need it.
It snows in West Virginia, sure, but different places get different amounts. At home we get it sometimes but it don't usually last. It sticks more in the mountains.
I can't say exactly how the Curse got broke. I know it did because something good happened and nothing took it away. Maybe someday I can explain it, but not right now.
I think balance is a long way off, but I don't feel so lost any more. Talking with the doctor does help some. Don't tell Jimmy I said that.
Maybe this is a stupid question, but do you do Christmas? Like, is it a thing you believe in?
I was hoping we could not do Thanksgiving this year, but Mellie won't see it. But she has agreed that we can do it at Jimmy's place in Lynchburg. Sadie will be with her mom this year, so it will just be the three of us. Seems a little silly to have it with just us, but you know Mellie.
I liked your idea about the library, but turns out you got to have a degree to work in a library unless you're a volunteer. I thought about the bookstores, but it's getting crazy with the holidays coming up, so I started looking for bartending work instead. I didn't turn up much, but one place called me back a couple days ago - their opening shift guy quit. So I guess I'm giving that a try. It'll be nice to get back in practice, I guess.
Take care of yourself, hear?
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
Thanks for the offer, but I'm good. Rose and Paige aren't asking for rent just yet, so I used some of the money you gave me for a new mattress for the camper, and a coat. My bus pass takes up a lot of what I'm making so far, but I am saving a little. So long as I don't get sick, I should be okay for a while.
I have an appointment with someone to see about getting an official ID, but it's not until January - the waiting list is really long. And I still need to write to my school. Or maybe I can call. I think I'm a little scared to ask, in case they say there is nothing. Sometimes I feel like I imagined the memories of my parents, except that Maz said she saw them, so I can't have.
How is the job going? Are you liking it? Is it busy there? Send another photo, please? Mellie showed me a few pictures of your bar at home. What's the weirdest drink anybody ever asked for?
It's not a stupid question. Maz and I used to celebrate Christmas when I was a kid. We would decorate her tree, and go to church on Christmas Eve. For a while I kept the little nativity set she had, but eventually Plutt threw it out. My friend Luis invited me for Christmas dinner a couple of times, but he left for Austin as soon as he graduated. I hope he made it okay.
Your Thanksgiving sounds nice, even if you don't want to go! The shop is closed that day but I am scheduled to work at the grocery store because of all the last-minute shoppers. They're paying extra for that shift, so it's good.
What did you do for Christmas when you were little?
Sincerely - Rey
December
Dear Rey:
Seems to me the school ought to have something, or else how could you get enrolled? I hope they write you back quick.
The weirdest drink anyone ever asked for had a name I won't repeat in front of a lady, and I didn't have the ingredients for it anyway - Duck Tape is a working man's bar, if you get what I mean. The weirdest one I ever made was a Mikey's Breakfast Banger. That's orange juice, amaretto liqueur, and club soda. It's not half bad.
The job is okay. It's a little pub that mostly serves draft beer and whisky, not a lot of fancy stuff, so that's better for me - I can do fancy, but I'm not lightning-fast like a big-city bartender. It's kind of strange not being in charge of things, but it's a lot easier, too. And I'm only working a few shifts a week. You know I don't really need the money, but it's keeping me busy, and Dr. Min says that's a good thing, talking to people. Gives me less time to brood, I suppose.
Christmas was special when I was little, I guess. We didn't always have a lot of money, but Momma and Daddy always made sure we had at least a present or two, and a tree. We got stockings to hang up, and we would go to church on Christmas Day, Momma insisted. Mellie's a lot like her that way. When I was a baby there was dinner at Grammy's house, but I don't really remember that, she died when I was six. I guess it was like what people say it should be, for kids.
How's it going with the repairs? It is real nice of your bosses to let you stay there.
Yours sincerely - Clyde
Dear Clyde:
Your Christmases sound really nice. I wonder sometimes if my parents celebrated it - for all I know they were Jewish, or Muslim, or just didn't want to. I'm kind of looking forward to it this year. The only thing Plutt did for the holiday was close the garage - this year I get to choose what to do, since the shop and the car wash will be closed and the grocery store doesn't have me on shift that day. I think I will get myself something from the bakery in the store - they have a sale rack - and take it back to the camper and eat it all. And I will put up all the little candle lights you left me. And then I'll probably have a nap.
Is your job still going okay? Maz used to say that most of a bartender's job was just letting people talk, that half of them came to bars to blow off steam that way. I like imagining you in there, it looks nice with all the dark wood and the shiny bottles. Does it smell good? Maz's always smelled like beer, but that can be a good smell.
Can you give me Mellie's address? I want to send her a present. I have one for you too, of course, but I already know yours.
Sincerely - Rey
To: reyreyreyrey
From: adventureboy1992
Rey -
Would you want to come to Virginia for Christmas?
—Clyde