Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_ nor any of the characters created by them.
Warnings: Rape, OOC and later Sasu-Naru.
Notes: --Kyuubi talking-

Living a Lie
Chapter Eight

Sasuke slowly made his way back up to his room and sighed when he saw Naruto already asleep. It had been a pretty uneventful day, other than Naruto screaming in fear, attacking him when he tried to get him to calm down and then running around the house searching for the front door. Sasuke finally got him to sleep again after lunch and only half an hour later, Naruto was screaming again.

He plopped down in a chair in his room and brought one leg up to lean on. Looking over at Naruto, he feared he wouldn't get any sleep tonight. Already, Naruto was trembling and twisting in his sleep, but Sasuke swore to not touch him unless he was given permission. All he could do was wait and try his best to calm the blonde down when he screams again. He moved his chair closer and sat back down, keeping vigil over the blonde as he thrashed around in his sleep.

Sasuke felt the urge to take the blonde in his arms, but he had promised and he was going to keep it, even though he knew Naruto could use someone to comfort him right now. "Naruto." He whispered, trying to wake the blonde with his voice. "Dobe, wake up, you're dreaming."

"N-no…" Naruto moaned, pain etched into his voice. "Please…don't."

"Naruto!" Sasuke said louder, more urgently as the blonde broke into a cold sweat. "Naruto!"

Cerulean eyes opened suddenly and without a second in between, Naruto launched himself at Sasuke. "Sa-Sasuke…Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke."

"Naruto? What's wrong? What?" He asked, pulling the smaller boy onto his lap while rubbing his back.

"I thought you were dead."

"Why would I be dead?"

"B-because they killed you." His voice almost frail and broken.

"Who?"

"Them."

Sasuke closed his eyes briefly, "They can't hurt you anymore."

"Yes, they can…"

"Naruto, what do you fear?" Sasuke suddenly asked, taking Naruto by surprise. Yet though the question was broad and left a great deal of room for Naruto to answer any way he wanted to, the blonde knew exactly what Sasuke was asking.

There was a long silence before Naruto spoke again and even then it was muffled and quiet. "I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"Because you'll hate me for being weak."

"Naruto, can I touch you?" He asked softly, even though he was already holding the blonde loosely. He felt the smaller boy tense and then relax minutes later with a curt nod. Sasuke tightened his grip on Naruto, "Do you want to know what I fear?"

Another pause followed by a slow nod.

"I fear that I will lose you."

Naruto startled, "What?"

"I'm afraid of losing you."

"Sasuke…" He whispered and relaxed even more into his grip, but he buried his face into Sasuke's shirt, muffling his words. "I'm afraid you'll leave me, my only friend."

Sasuke pulled Naruto away from his chest and the smaller boy began to cry, waiting for the rejection and disgust he knew he'd receive. Yet, instead of pushing him away, Sasuke just held him back and said quietly. "Naruto, don't look away."

"I-I can't…" he whispered, still not meeting his eyes. He couldn't. He'd break again if he had to face the rage and hate reflecting in those dark eyes and he knew he couldn't break again, he couldn't risk it.

"Dobe, look at me." He turned Naruto's face upward and let his emotions reach his voice. "I won't leave you."

Naruto frowned, thinking over what he just heard. "You promise?"

He smirked, "I promise." He carefully stood up and placed Naruto back on the bed. "Take my room for the night, okay? You're already comfortable here anyways."

"W-where are you going?" He whispered, his eyes betraying his fear.

Sasuke tucked him in as his mother had when he was younger and afraid. "I'm just going across the hall to your room to sleep. I don't want to disturb you and I can't sleep in a chair all night…though right now it probably wouldn't be too hard."

He bit his lip and uncertainty reflected in his eyes, but he nodded. He turned away, curling up into a fetal position and held tight to one of the pillows, but it didn't radiate the same heat Sasuke did. And he already missed the warm body next to his own.

Sasuke smiled softly and then crossed the hall to collapse onto the bed, smaller than his own, but still big. Forgetting to remove his clothes, he fell asleep with his feet dangling off the end and his arms spread out, taking up the entire bed.

Yet his restful sleep was interrupted when he was once more awakened by a tousle of blonde hair lying on his chest and tan arms circling his waist. He glanced at the clock and groaned, almost four in the morning again. Sasuke sighed and gave in, pulling the blonde up for a more comfortable position. He willed himself to sleep and an hour later found him back in a peaceful slumber again.

Kakashi had an even better time laughing at them because this time they were both in Naruto's bed and he couldn't help but comment on how cute they looked together. Sasuke ignored him, but he could feel the heat rising to his face and tinting his face with a light blush. He chased Kakashi out of the room and then stormed off to his room to get dressed, but every night continued the same way. Sasuke would go to sleep somewhere and around four a.m. Naruto would curl up next to him to sleep. Even if he was down in the living room on the couch or in a chair, Naruto would find him and curl up like a fox and go to sleep peacefully. Yet, Sasuke wasn't sleeping so peacefully. He'd hear Naruto's moans and whimpers and cringe, knowing the nightmares the blonde fought and knowing even more that he couldn't do anything to help him. So he'd stay up most nights, petting the blonde spikes softly and humming a little song until he fell asleep, giving him only two or three hours of sleep a night.

But he had to admit that when Naruto was around, his own nightmares that plagued him since he was small disappeared. He felt more at ease with someone sleeping next to him and often found his eyes wandering to Naruto's sleeping form just thinking. Even the droll, tiresome atmosphere seemingly disappeared when Naruto was awake and Sasuke was beginning to enjoy it only after a couple days.

On the sixth day since Naruto came to the Uchiha Manor, Sasuke finally approached him on leaving the property. Only two days ago did Naruto finally step outside for the first time, but he refused to leave the house without Sasuke with him.

"Naruto, we have to talk with Tsunade-sama about our mission. We have to walk through the village and we have to go today."

"Why?" He asked, staring at his breakfast. He didn't want to leave the house, he didn't want to see the cold stares and the disgust, he didn't want to have to talk with anyone, he didn't want to meet with anyone and he didn't want to see the pity he knew he'd see on Tsunade's face. He could deal with a lot of things, but pity was one he never did take well to.

"Because we leave in two days and we need tomorrow to prepare for it. Also, I'm certain there are people you want to say goodbye to."

"Not really…" He whispered, pushing his food around with his chopsticks.

"What about Iruka-sensei? Or Sakura? Kakashi-sensei I'm sure wants to see you before we leave and Kiba is certain to say goodbye. Hinata will be heartbroken if you just leave without a word to her and Shikamaru, even if he says it's troublesome, will also be hurt if you don't say anything."

Naruto bit his lip. He knew what Sasuke was saying was true, but he couldn't face them, not when he was defiled and broken. "But…"

"I'll be there, I won't leave your side." Sasuke said, sitting down next to him. He knew what was on the smaller boy's mind even if Naruto refused to admit it.

"Damn it! Why am I so scared?" He growled, slamming his hands down on the table and standing up. He wouldn't meet Sasuke's eyes, but he knew the Uchiha was watching him closely and didn't miss the two tears that fell to the table.

"You're afraid of getting hurt again, Naruto. Not physically, but emotionally."

His hands gripped the table edge tightly, "How did you know that?" He whispered as he turned his face away.

"Because I'm afraid of the same thing." Sasuke said, just as quietly, and then walked away.

Naruto didn't know what to say as he watched the boy's back walk away. Sasuke? Afraid of getting hurt? He didn't understand. Everyone loved Sasuke, no one ever wanted to see him hurt or dead, so what did he have to fear? No one would ever think of raping him or even touching him because he was Konoha's genius shinobi. Sasuke… He looked back down at his plate and then picked it up slowly, walking over to the sink. As he scraped the uneaten food into the trash can, he thought back on the past days. All he had been to Sasuke was a burden for the past week. It was Sasuke who cooked for him, cleaned for him, watched over him, helped him and even let him sleep with him, but Naruto hadn't done a single thing for him.

He hated this feeling of helplessness. He ground his teeth as he washed off the plate. He didn't want to be a burden, he didn't want people to feel like they had to take care of him, he was a shinobi, wasn't he? He wasn't supposed to be like this, he wasn't supposed to be a mental mess and a screw-up. He should've been able to stop those jounin from raping him, but even if he couldn't, he should've been able to get over it and on with his life.

"Sasuke?" He called, leaving the kitchen and throwing on a grin. The black haired prodigy looked up from his seat on the couch. "Let's go." Naruto said before heading towards the door.

Sasuke frowned, he was expecting another argument or pouting from the blonde, not for him to actually agree with him, but he wasn't about to waste this chance to get him outside. Maybe Naruto was doing better than he had thought, but yet as he watched the blonde slip on his sandals, he thought he saw the grin waver for a second. Yet it was replaced just as quickly as Naruto turned to Sasuke and cocked his head expectantly.

"Coming?" Sasuke asked, opening the door and staring out at the yard. He hesitated, but then forced his feet to move and for the first time in almost two months; Naruto stepped outside on his own.

Sasuke quickly followed suit, locking the door behind him and then followed the blonde to the road. Naruto hesitated at the gate and glanced around for anyone on the road before slowly stepping onto it. "Naruto?" Sasuke asked quietly, seeing his friend hesitating.

Naruto flinched, but grinned and scratched the back of his head. "Just admiring the road, Sasuke, nothing to worry about!" He laughed and then started down the road at a brisk walk, leaving Sasuke behind to catch up. He didn't want to admit that he was terrified and barely keeping his nerve to continue this. Ever since he was able to account for everything that had happened to him two months ago, he had revolted against touch. He knew it was confusing to Sasuke for when he had first awoken from his coma, he had clung to Sasuke and refused to let him go, but now he flinched at the slightest touch and found his mind drowning in fear when someone hugged him. Yet, even in his sleep, he still sought out Sasuke and again, refused to let him go until he awoke in the morning once more fearing touch.

He glanced at Sasuke, a couple feet behind him, and then looked at the quickly approaching town square. Sasuke was watching him intently, waiting for to make a move before he did anything himself. Naruto knew Sasuke could see right through his cracking mask and he feared that would break him even more. No one had ever seen him in such a weak state and if the villagers ever figured out that he now revolted at the slightest touch, they would use it against him. They would surround him and taunt him like they usually did, but this time they would kill him because this time they would know how. Before, Naruto could always fight back and somehow escaped with his life without harming the others, but one touch from them would send him back into the recesses of his mind and back to that night of terror and torture. He wouldn't survive mentally, even if he survived physically.

Naruto took an uneasy step when he saw Sakura talking with Ino and Shikamaru, just hesitating for a half second, but Sasuke caught it. He stopped suddenly and just stared at them, afraid to move. He thought he could, but seeing the three of them froze his feet to the ground and he suddenly found himself once more terrified. Sasuke stepped up next to him silently and let Naruto decide what to do, but he made certain Naruto knew he was still there. He watched as the blonde grinned again and heard the sharp inhale of breath before, "Sakura-chan! Shikamaru! Ino-chan!"

The three turned and smiled as the two boys approached them. Ino was the first to speak, "Naruto! Where have you been? Everyone's been looking for you!"

"Well…" He laughed, scratching the back of his head, "I-I-I've been, um, well, you see…"

"He's been with me." Sasuke said, coming to stand next to Naruto, eyes glaring and hands shoved in his pockets. His eyes glinted dangerously when Sakura opened her mouth to ask the obvious question and she immediately closed it and decided to just smile.

Naruto frowned at her odd behavior, but shrugged it off. "So, what have you guys been up to?"

"Nothing much. Sakura's been added to our team and Shika is our jounin instructor." Ino said, latched onto Shikamaru's arm.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed and Naruto laughed.

"Shika!" Ino said, hitting him lightly.

"Hey!"

Sakura smiled and then hugged Naruto. Sasuke froze, emotions flickering across his eyes from rage to fear as he watched Naruto stand stock-still. "I'm glad you're okay, Naruto."

"Um…t-thanks." He whispered, the blood draining from his face as the fear he had so painstakingly pushed down began to grip him once more.

Shikamaru immediately saw the change in Naruto as did Sasuke and he frowned, just what did happen to him? Naruto was pale and shaking and Sakura didn't look like she was going to let go any time soon. "Sakura—"

"Naruto, we have to go. Now." Sasuke interrupted. "Hokage is waiting."

Sakura stepped away, "Hokage?"

Naruto was breathing harshly and he felt sick. He couldn't see anything, he couldn't focus, he couldn't breathe and he began to panic as the memories resurfaced. All he could see where for four faces standing over him and the malicious smiles on their faces as they began stripping him of his innocence. "Sa…Sasuke? Where are you? Where'd you go?" He whispered, almost inaudible.

"I'm right here." Sasuke said softly, standing right in front of the blonde. The first thing he noticed was how pale Naruto was and the second was how distant his eyes were. He knew immediately Naruto was in his past and prayed he could bring his teammate out of his living nightmare. "It's okay Naruto, just breathe."

"I-I can't see you." He cried.

"I'm going to touch you, okay?"

"Okay." Naruto said after a pause.

Hands softly touched his own, "I'm right here."

Slowly pale skin, dark hair and ebony eyes faded into his vision and Naruto sighed in relief. Sasuke hadn't left him; he kept his promise and stayed next to him. He gave a crooked smile and stepped away, breaking their contact, "Thanks."

Sasuke gave a curt nod and then turned away, his own emotionless mask firmly in place. "Come on dobe, we need to go."

"Bye!" He yelled in his usual manner and started trailing after Sasuke, but Sakura grabbed his wrist.

"Wait! Why are you going to see Hokage?"

"Please don't touch me Sakura-chan." Naruto whispered, his eyes downcast and hidden while his body was once more frozen with fear.

Sakura pulled away as if she had been burned. "Naruto…" She whispered, shock evident in her voice. Had he heard me on that night? Did he remember how I didn't ask if he was okay, but instead asked Sasuke? Damn it! I was worried about him, but it became a habit now to ask Sasuke how he was first…

"We're leaving on a long term mission Sakura," Sasuke answered neutrally, but rage burned in his eyes. "And need to talk with Hokage-sama before we leave."

"I'm going, right?" Sakura asked.

"No. Naruto and I are going alone. I don't know any more than that."

Sakura looked at Naruto, at first jealous of the time he would get to spend with her Sasuke, but her anger turned to curiosity at his odd behavior. He wouldn't look at her and he didn't want her to touch him, but she had thought Naruto would love to be hugged by her. She had heard so many people saying Naruto had a crush on her and so wouldn't he love her touch? "Naruto, are you mad at me?"

He startled and looked over at her, his mouth slightly opened in surprise. "N-no! Of course not…"

"Then why can't I hug you?"

"I-I just don't want to be." He said lamely.

"But why? I thought you liked me." She pursued, coming closer to him.

Naruto backed up, but Sakura kept coming closer. "I do, b-but I just don't want anyone touching me."

"Why?"

His breathing hitched again and his eyes darted around, looking for an escape. "I just….please Sakura-chan, just leave it."

"No! I need to know why!"

Sasuke grabbed Sakura by her wrist and jerked her away. "Stop it Sakura. He doesn't want to tell you so leave it."

"You know." She said, her eyes narrowed.

"I know because Naruto told me and he will tell you when he's ready. Now, leave him alone." He growled. He dropped her wrist and then glanced at Naruto, "Come on dobe, we're going to be late."

Naruto darted away quickly, trying to get to the Hokage Tower as quickly as possible. Sasuke was beside him in seconds and he flashed the prodigy a rare smile. "Thank you."

"Hn."

Naruto didn't say anymore. A simple thank you wasn't enough for what Sasuke pulled him out of and he doubted there was any way he could ever repay him enough. Sasuke understood the weight and sincerity behind his words and knew not to mock them as he usually would. They continued to walk in silence, ignoring the hated stares Naruto received, and avoided contact with anyone else, much to Naruto's relief.

The Anbu watched them warily as they approached, but let them pass when Tsunade beckoned them to sit. Naruto flashed her a dazzling smile and a small greeting as she smiled softly in return.

"Welcome back Naruto." She said seriously, her elbows resting on the desk and her hands intertwined beneath her chin.

"Thanks, baa-chan."

She let the name slide and leaned back in her seat. "I need you two for a long term mission and this is one you cannot turn down. I need the two of you to visit every country and give me a full report on the people, Kage, their shinobi and the soundness of the village. Also, if they are a threat to us…" Picking up two small folders, she handed them to Sasuke, "These are your passports, it's up to you how you wish to carry out this mission, civilian or shinobi, it doesn't matter. But there is a chance you will be chased out, attacked and hunted."

Sasuke and Naruto nodded, looking over their passports curiously. "This is a high ranking A mission, isn't it?" Naruto asked. "Almost S." She was asking them not just to spy, but to take on hunter nins and Anbu. No chunin would ever be given such a dangerous mission and yet they were being given it. It was true that as a pair, Sasuke and he were sometimes given S Class missions, but usually they were low ranking S or given to them as B Class missions. Yet this one was undoubtedly an S Class mission and anyone who saw it would immediately know it.

He has gotten sharper…and here I thought he'd be jumping up and down with excitement. She nodded, "Yes, it is. As of now, you two are jounin shinobi…actually," she added in a hushed voice, "the two of you are in the ranks of Anbu, but that is a fact only known by a handful of people here, Kakashi being one of them."

"But the council—" He started.

"The council can't say a single word to demote you, Naruto, and the entire village knows the two of you deserve it."

He bowed his head and spoke softly, "Thank you."

"The rest of the information is in these two scrolls along with my signature. That signature will allow you to withdraw as much money as needed from any bank in any country, though Sasuke has graciously offered to help fund this trip." She said, handing them each a scroll. "Your funds are now unlimited—Naruto, this does not mean you can eat unlimited too."

"B-but…" He stopped when he saw the glare she was directed at him and sighed, "Hai, hai."

"Good. Now scram kid, you need to go over those scrolls and get ready. Don't forget to pick up your new jounin vest on the way out!" She called as the two shinobi walked out. The Anbu guards shot them both glances before returning to their earlier states in front of the door.

"Jounin…" Naruto breathed and then laughed, "You knew, didn't you?" He asked Sasuke.

He glanced at the blonde, but didn't answer.

"Bastard! You knew!"

"So what, dobe?"

"Well….why didn't you tell me?"

He smirked and continued walking, knowing it would only anger the blonde even more and he was right. Seconds later, a frustrated growl echoed down the hall and Naruto appeared beside him, huffing angrily. His arms crossed over his chest and his lip out in a pout. "Aren't you a bit old to be pouting dobe?"

"I'm not a dobe! And I'm not pouting." He pouted, refusing to look at Sasuke.

"Mature Naruto." He whispered and shook his head.

Naruto cracked a smile and folded his hands behind his back, looking around with mild curiosity. He began whistling a simple tune and grinned when Sasuke shot a glare at him. "Aw, Sasuke, don't be such a bastard!"

"Hmph…" he smirked, "dobe."

"Sasuke!" Naruto growled, but it sounded like more of a whine than a threat.

Sasuke suddenly stopped at the end of the hall and glanced at Naruto, still fuming, and knocked, "We're here dobe, so stop complaining."

Ten minutes later, two new jounin left the Tower and began their walk home to prepare for their mission. Naruto was grinning broadly while Sasuke was scowling darkly at anyone and everyone in their path. The chunin they met had refused Naruto his vest and was now laying unconscious and bloody on the floor thanks to Sasuke's temper.

They hadn't gotten very far when Sakura appeared out of nowhere and latched onto Sasuke's arm. "Sasuke-kun!" She said happily.

"Sakura." He nodded, watching Naruto in front of him.

"Oh! You're a jounin now?"

"Hn." He nodded again.

"So then you have a chunin team?"

"No. I told you, Naruto and I leave for our mission in two days."

"Naruto's a jounin too?" She whispered, looking at the blonde walking a couple feet in front of them.

"Yup!" Naruto said, turning around. "Is that so hard to believe, Sakura-chan?"

She smiled and stepped towards him to congratulate him, "That's great Naruto!"

But Naruto retreated hastily and smiled sadly, "I'm sorry Sakura-chan, I just need some time to…" he drifted off, looking to Sasuke before walking away, avoiding the people who came too close to him.

Sakura and Sasuke watched him leave silently. Sasuke knew he needed to be alone for now, but he still wanted to follow the blonde and make sure he was okay. He sighed, knowing it would be better not to, and just hoped Naruto would defend himself if he ran into trouble.

"Sasuke-kun, what's wrong with Naruto?"

"Hn."

She sighed, it was pointless trying to extract information from him, but she decided to try her luck with her long term dream. "Want to go to lunch, Sasuke-kun?"

He was about to decline as usual when he thought it better not to. This may be the last time he'd ever see her again if they died during the mission and even if they didn't, it would be a long time before he saw her again. "Sure, but as friends Sakura, and nothing else."

She smiled sadly, but nodded. "Okay, Sasuke-kun."

Naruto sat on the roof of his apartment, staring at Konoha and thinking. He had heard Sasuke talking to Sakura after he had left, he had doubled back and was about to ask them if they wanted to go to lunch when he heard them make plans. At first he was hurt that they would go without him, but he knew what was running through Sasuke's mind and appreciated the offer of solace, even if he did and didn't want it. He needed to be alone and to think things through, but he couldn't be alone because then memories of that night resurfaced and tortured him once more.

He tried to focus on the sun and the busy streets of Konoha, but the memories came unheeded and immediately his breathing increased. Naruto covered his head with his arms and pulled his knees up, softly crying, "No, no, no, no….please no." Yet they wouldn't go away and once more the darkness consumed him and he was lying on the ground, paralyzed as four figures loomed over him, metal glinting in the moonlight.

-Kit, don't fall into the darkness again!-

The voice was faint, but Naruto heard it. "Kyuubi?" He whispered and the memories blurred.

-Don't give in to it, fight it.-

"I…I can't." He cried and saw the first blade stab into his arm. He curled into a tight ball, crying as the pain returned.

-No! Kit, listen to my voice and fight! Focus on the present, don't give in.-

"But it hurts." He whispered. "It hurts Kyuubi."

He heard a sigh and suddenly he was in the cage with the giant fox. -Stay here as long as you need kit, but don't run from it.-

"How can I not?"

The great fox paced in front of him. Naruto was still on the ground crying, but his eyes vaguely followed the claws clicking on the ground. -It's hard, I was there with you kit, even though you experienced the most pain, I was still there and I know what you went through.- Kyuubi stopped and laid next to him. -Let me help you.-

"How?"

-I can…suppress the memories completely if you want me to or I can take away some of the pain. The memories would still be there and you'd still fear touch and have nightmares, but the pain you feel would no longer be there.-

Naruto leaned against the fox, feeling the soft fur, "You'd do that for me?"

-Yes kit, I'd do that for you.-

"Then please…make the pain go away…" He whispered and snuggled closer into the warm fur.

-Sleep kit, and I'll help you with the pain.- The fox whispered. Naruto muttered something sleepily and curled against Kyuubi's stomach. Kyuubi stared down at the young human beside him and sighed, wrapping a tail around the petite form. If only the seal hadn't been so restraining, he could've protected his host from the pain, but the seal made that impossible. Only if Naruto was emotionally stressed could his power be used and then only by Naruto, he couldn't do anything except watch unless Naruto let him out. When he was raped, Naruto was helpless and there was nothing Kyuubi could do except heal his body and watch, both he and Naruto were too drained to effectively fuse their chakra to stop the rapists, so all they could do was let it happen and wait it out.

He cursed the humans for being so blind and hateful and knew he couldn't apologize enough for what the kit went through because of him, but at least he could do something to help him now. -If forgetting the last two months of your life was worth it, I'd do it in a heartbeat kit, but it wouldn't be right. Even though what they did wasn't right either.-

Dhampir
Page 10
1/29/2005

Author's Note:

I would like to apologize if it's still not clear. As the author I know where the story is going and what will happen within it. I knew that Sasuke had told Tsunade and the others that Itachi was dead and only he and Naruto knew the real truth. But I did not mention that in the story and it has caused some problems. I am very sorry because that is a major mistake and I will try better to find such mistakes.

Also, thank you for the review, I'm happy this story is still well received!