The ping of Erik's laptop both called him to life and tolled his doom. He knew what the alert would be even before he looked; there weren't many things he cared about enough to be notified of them. Nadir was the only person to contact him on a regular basis, and he had already called on the flat to give Erik the daily pep-talk he had developed over the past few days.

Sure enough, the banner read that Christine had uploaded another video to her channel. She was no longer a prisoner of his deception and yet remained his eternally sweet tormentor. There had been no activity from her in days, which was both relieving as he didn't have to hear her voice when it was no longer his, and disappointing that he could not even wean himself off her.

Of course he opened the video - he was an addict and could not tear himself away now, not when it was his salvation as well as his curse - and began to watch without hesitation.

Instantly he drank in the sight of her again, staring as hungrily as if she had been gone for years rather than days. Her hair seemed to glow as always, her eyes as bright as ever. But were those shadows under her eyes? And where was the delight that constantly underlay even this staged smile?

Then the camera angle widened, and his heart sank in his chest. The boy was with her again, by her side in the place that should have been Erik's had life not been so unkind. His handsome face was alight with the joy that Christine's presence seemed to bring everyone.

Erik's lip curled in disgust as he continued to watch them together. Their singing was admittedly pleasant - hers bewitching and his delightful - yet it was anguish to Erik's ears. As his expression clenched in distress, he felt the abnormal ridges of his face rubbing against each other. The reminder of his disfigurement did nothing to raise his mood, instead reinforcing why he was sat alone while Raoul had been making sweet music with Christine.

He had to hit stop before the end, unable to bear the torture despite its wonder. A sound almost like a sob forced its way up his throat, and he pushed the laptop away in disgust. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, but could not rid himself of the painfully perfect picture of the two of them together.

Erik did not like feeling jealous - for who would wish this torture upon themselves? His mind writhed, his heart ached, and his chest seemed to constrict until he could barely breathe. He would never have believed it could hurt this much to give Christine up. Of course, he knew that an angel like her would have love showered on her in abundance, so he should never have deluded himself that he could retain anything special.

Golden memories of her smile and her song tried to force themselves through the darkness clouding his mind, but with his current mood even they quickly turned sour and painful. Despite being loath to enter this state, once in it he was trapped. In truth, a few hopeful thoughts should have been enough to drag him back from the abyss, were he to let them through. Yet he remained willingly locked in envy's grasp. No matter what he tried to tell himself, how he tried to bring his mind back to reason, his thoughts were always pulled back to bitterness and lament.

Erik had known jealousy before, of course; had been drawn to many a pretty face only to watch it turn to another. And before he had felt the pain of romantic rejection, he had always held a dark envy of all the wonderfully normal lives around him. That seethed constantly under the surface of his stony façade, much like the horror of his face concealed behind his mask.

And yet this was so much worse than before, because he had now known the alternative, rather than simply wishing for some intangible fantasy. He had been so close this time, only to have it ripped away once more.

Unbidden, his eyes flickered back to the screen beside him. Christine gazed back out at him, full of life and wonder, happy in the music despite the tightness underlying her expression. He delighted in that joyful face, yet despised it too.

When he had been with her, when he could hear her sweet voice, see the shine in her eyes and the softness of her face, he would have done anything to keep her safe, keep her from harm. Yet in these moments of pain, of torture, he wanted to make her feel as much pain as he felt. He wished she could see him beside another as she now was, wanted her to long to be in the woman's place, to curse the one that held Erik's affections.

Yet he could never truly wish her harm. He would bemoan and rage at his situation, but in the end they were only thoughts. He always twisted negative emotions to be on his terms. If someone made him sad or hurt, he would become bitter and angry at them instead because that was easier. The anger at himself would be turned outwards so he didn't destroy himself, but it all remained inside his mind.

I will feel nothing if I have to, but I will not feel this pain, he thought despairingly. If this is the cost of happiness, I will turn myself to stone.

Erik sat up quickly, forcing motion through his suddenly heavy body. As he moved, his hand strayed and tapped play once again on Christine's video. The last refrains of the song - What You Mean to Me from Finding Neverland - echoed through the room, painfully beautiful. The final notes clutching at life were a goodbye to her, to the fairytale he had lived for a few short months.

He heard her usual scripted ending, the gratitude and promise of more music to come. Raoul joined in, spoiling the moment Erik had become accustomed to before the pair of them faded from existence together.

Instead of fading to black silence, however, the picture changed from the unified pair to just Christine, smiling straight into the camera again. This expression was less bright than when Raoul had been by her side, now weary and strained, but much more real.

"I also wanted to thank another friend I've been working with a lot recently. I know things didn't go as planned, but I'd really like to meet up again. We shouldn't throw something away if it can actually work." There was a pause, in which she seemed to be considering what words to use next. To most people it probably looked like she was simply breaking for breath, but Erik knew her expressions better than his own, and could see the slight crinkles that appeared at the edges of her eyes when she was thinking hard. "I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're even there, but I miss you."

The video ended, her earnest blue eyes disappearing, but Erik was frozen staring at the screen. His heart was racing in his chest, each shallow beat seeming to echo hollowly within him. For a moment he was barely alive, no breath breaking his statue-like appearance.

Then he breathed again, and it was a new life in a better world. She wanted him back! Who else could she be talking of, especially with that echo of God Help the Outcasts in her words, and how could he refuse? She was truly a miracle, his miracle, who had stared into the face of doom and returned with a smile. Perhaps she was just as lost as he was in the dream they had lived together.

He rose to his feet, new energy coursing through his veins. Christine had put out her call for him to return, and now he was going to have to take matters into his own hands.