A/N: I have been traumatized by the 2019 live action musical about the horny dancing sleep paralysis demons covered in lion pubes so now I'm taking you all down with me. Enjoy. :D

Chapter 9

Medley for Kombat Cats: Part 1

Sonya: The Old Gumbie Cat

She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice

Their behaviour's not good and their manners not nice

Sonya smelled a rat— and she wasn't referring to the fur-covered vermin infestation that she heard complaints about. Mice were the least of her problems now.

Somebody had contraband in her base. Sonya knew they did. Someone close to her, too. Usually it didn't bother her; she had other commanders below her that handled dishing out the appropriate discipline needed if something was discovered during random barrack checks.

This time was different: it was affecting her directly, and it was enough to piss her off—enough to personally see who was disobeying her orders.

The General had her suspects, but the question was: which one was it?

At the top of her list, of course, were the ones she knew best: Johnny and Cassie. Throughout their entire marriage, she had known her ex-husband and daughter to break the rules, and while they were similar in character, the father and daughter pair still had differences when it came to their pranks.

All of Cassie's schemes were a careful balance between annoying in the moment but something they could laugh about later in retrospect. Johnny was unapologetically a clown, even now, being a late bloomer when it came to maturity, he was still hard-pressed to stifle the over-the-top nonsense; although it was slightly less irksome in his fifties than when she had first met him. After their rough patch, it was endearing, again, but only marginally, and her patience for it was usually determined by her mood that day.

But when they schemed together, however, she always suffered more than she should.

As she did now…

Blade popped another Benadryl into her mouth, swallowing it with a generous amount of water from the glass before balancing it on the edge of her bathroom sink. She grimaced at her puffy swollen eyes in the mirror; red and teary eyed while her fingernails scratched against her forearm at the small collection of hives that formed on her skin.

Unbeknownst to most of her staff, only knowledge to her own family, the General did have a weakness besides her commitment to her duty (besides her aversion to papercuts).

She got allergies bad.

Spring was always her most dreaded time of the year in that regard, but there was one allergy worse than her seasonal one that reared its ugly head and could only give her the aggravated symptoms she had now…

Cats.

Something that Johnny and Cassie find it difficult to introduce clandestinely to the General.

If it was them, as she suspected it to be, then Sonya would be sure they fully understood the extent of her contempt for their jokes.

However, the General still wasn't completely positive they both had anything to do with her current state.

Where would they even get a cat?

She had been in Johnny's room in the past few weeks, and she certainly never noticed anything feline romping around. Cassie also didn't have anything in her room, and she knew the sergeant cared for cats as much as Sonya did. The women didn't hate them, just preferred another species. If Cassie was to sneak anything into the base, a dog would have been her first choice.

Sonya, despite being miserable and groggy from both the allergies and Benadryl, smiled fondly at the memory of both Johnny and her daughter sneaking in a golden retriever puppy behind her back once upon a time. She hadn't been happy at first, but eventually ended up not caring in the end. Sonya had been too busy with work to even remember they had a dog until she came home and was greeted by it.

However, it didn't mean she didn't suspect them any less, but by her reasoning, it made her think of the only other two suspects left.

Takeda and Kung Jin.

Jacqui was never on her mind, but if it was Takeda, then she was guilty by association. They were a couple, Briggs would know.

It was the boys if it wasn't her family.

Despite having her attention diverted to the absurdly active workload she had on a daily basis being General of the Special Forces, she had picked up on slight differences between the Shirai Ryu and the Shaolin over the past couple of weeks. Tiny things, unimportant things, but noticeable, nonetheless.

Takeda, to put it lightly, seemed giddier than usual. While light-hearted, she had noticed an increase in his optimism. He was also more on his phone more than usual, and when she had passed by him after a training session with Kenshi, she noticed he was watching a cat video and chuckling before putting it away out of respect when he finally noticed her. It was innocent, but she had never seen him watch a cat video as long as she had known him.

Kung Jin was another anomaly. She had never seen the archer so tired, and it reminded Sonya of her first few months with a newborn Cassie from the hospital and how sleep-deprived Johnny and Sonya had been. Other than that, he was his usual self, as was his ninja friend, but there was also another thing they both unknowingly shared that made her question their innocence.

Every time she passed by either Jin or Takahashi— together, or one or the other— she sneezed, and her allergies flared up. Sonya hadn't even known she had been doing it until the last few days until she had them all gathered around a meeting room with Secretary Blake. Everybody had noticed her reaction too, as well as her current physical disarray; Sonya could not stop sneezing that entire meeting but had endured and refused to excuse herself. And despite the uncomfortable dishevelment she was in, had noticed her team regarding her with a bewildering hesitation that caused her to consider there was something else going on that was other than regular allergies.

Around the table, she had picked up on all of their moods: Jacqui had let out a glum sigh and had shifted her gaze elsewhere but at the General; as if regretting that she was withholding information that she wanted to tell but couldn't. Takeda also looked about the room at everything but at Sonya, appearing like a toddler who had stolen a cookie from the jar. Kung Jin had kept his eyes forward, blinking them tiredly, but had swallowed hard and nervously. Cassie and Johnny on the other hand, held in their amusement in silence and glanced at each other with knowing, devious looks.

She looked at herself in the mirror, sucking her teeth bitterly at her reflection, when she considered the last suspicion she had.

They were all guilty.

They had to be.

They were all in on it, and which one of them was hiding the cat…

Now all that was left, was trying to smoke out which one had it in their room…

THWAP!

The General's head snapped the second she heard the metallic trap in the corner of the bathroom. Dead inside was a single brown mouse with its neck snapped under the bar.

And she had the perfect reason for a barracks check…

After dressing back into her uniform, albeit still with puffy-eyes and sneezing, the General exited out of her office and immediately ran into a passing male body that let out a small grunt when he impacted with her.

The soldier, dressed in Special Forces fatigues and with a name-patch that read Corporal 'Walters', immediately stiffed and saluted, offering his apologies, his voice smooth and baritone. Sonya, who only took note of him enough to sponge up a brief physical appearance of him (tall, Caucasian, muscular with equally masculine facial features and sandy combed hair and blue eyes) simply nodded at him and said:" As you were" before passing by him; heading towards the rooms of the culprits she wished to investigate.

Walters, who waited until General Blade was out of sight, raised an eyebrow and headed towards the Special Forces' commander's door. He gave a haughty but brief chuckle before he jiggled the handle — testing it— before pushing himself into her room.

The soldier, who was anything but, had to admit this had been easier than he thought. In fact, the only troublesome thing was finding a uniform that fit.

Reaching inside the jacket fatigues, he pulled out what he came to Earthrealm with and walked over to the General's desk. He took quick note of it, glancing from the tidy paperwork, small trinkets, the blinking computer, and then glaring minutely at the framed picture of Sergeant Cage with her father, the buffoon/actor.

'Walters' still thought all this was a waste of time, but… a job was a job, and the Kahn was paying him good for this one.

So, he placed the rolled-up papyrus on her office desk and retreated, cognizant of making sure he didn't overstay his welcome in the metallic slate and modern-esque military office.

He grabbed the handle and shut it behind him, closing it as if nothing had ever happened…

Now the only course of action was avoiding those two annoying telepaths that would no doubt give him away…

Getting in had always been the easy part… it was getting out that was going to be the challenge.

You may meet him in a by-street

You may see him in the square

But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!

Johnny and Cassie: Mungojerrie And Rumpelteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together.

"I think mom is starting to catch on," Cassie piped up, chewing on a Swedish Fish she plucked from the bag in her palm. She glanced down when she felt something tap her foot and caught the sight of Johnny's Roomba, which Cassie named 'Jeffery', retreating away; the large googly-eyes glued to the vacuum bouncing with every movement.

Johnny swiveled in his chair, addressing his daughter that leaned against the open doorway to his assigned room in the base. The corner of Cassie's mouth tugged to the side as the older Cage sucked a freshly made protein drink the color of the vomit from The Exorcist, and from Johnny's sudden reaction following his first sip through a silver metallic straw, probably tasted about the same.

The actor's lips pulled away, his face twisting in disgust as he let out an audible 'ack' and smacked his lips.

"Lawn trimmings not agreeing with you?" Cassie quipped, smirking as she eyeballed the blender on his desk before throwing a stale gummy fish in the path for 'Jeffrey' the googly-eyed vacuum to pick up.

"I can handle the wheat-grass and fresh ginger— what I can't do is wheat-grass, ginger and cat food all together," Johnny grumbled, placing the silver cup on his desk; his stomach audibly growling.

"I swear I'm 'snip-snipping' Kat-niss's pony-tail in his sleep one of these days," the actor vowed, imitating two of his fingers to resemble scissors cutting.

"Figure the cat food would improve it," Cassie snickered, "Just give it a couple more passes in the dishwasher — should be fine, eventually."

"Hah," Johnny scoffed in amusement. "I caught that eventually. Besides, the taste is burned into my medulla oblongata for eternity now. But what were you sayin' before, kiddo? I was lost in the gross green sauce."

"Mom. Her allergies are hitting her bad."

"Well, that was the plan."

Cassie frowned, chucking a Swedish fish towards him which he caught with a hand before plopping into his mouth.

"I think you took it too far," the sergeant insisted. "It's not even close to spring. Mom was gonna put two and two together."

Johnny shrugged. "I'm surprised it took her this long. No need to sweat. She'll come in here, look for Jin's kittens and then go on her way. It's always moi she suspects of shenanigans anyways."

Cassie bit the inside of her cheek. "She was kinda eyeballing us all weird— Jin and Takeda mostly," she disagreed, her teeth tugging apart another red fish. "I don't think she thinks it's just us. I sure as hell don't want a cat in my room, so she knows it's for sure not me. So… I think we should let Jin on the random-but-not-so-random barracks check she's definitely got planned for all of us. Take them on a holiday. Fuck knows the cats could use the time away from Mr. Arrow up his Ass, anyway. Its animal cruelty not to."

The older Cage lifted a skeptical eyebrow at his daughter. "And here I thought you didn't like Jin? Now you wanna help him?"

"It's a love/hate with Legolas," Cassie corrected. "Besides… I don't hate the fluffy-buns. They are kind of growing on me — mostly because of how much they torture Jin."

Johnny laughed, scratching the back of his neck, as he eyed his fouled blender that still had the essence of pate de feline that he knew would never disappear no matter how much he would wash the expensive blender.

"Do you want to get him back for the blender, Dr. Evil?" Cassie piped up suddenly, a diabolical and tempting thought coming to mind as she eyeballed one of his many movie posters hanging over his desk. About cats, she knew there was only one movie that he had mentioned in the past that Johnny Cage had passed up and luckily so…

"My flicks only come in boom and awesome and that film had neither of those very, important things. Also, they gave it to Jason Derulo. Their loss. I can stop myself from yelling my name in every song."

It was too bad he had passed up on Cats, Cassie would have loved to have brought it up as ammunition just as much as her Dad would have loved to have used it as embarrassment towards her as a kid. She'd never have friends after they heard about it and he wouldn't have had a career afterwards, so it was beneficial for everyone that the only cats Johnny said yes to were Kung Jin's.

"What do you have in mind Mini Me?"

The corner of her lips curved into a smile before she rolled up her empty plastic bag, sans Swedish Fish, and then chucked the crinkled ball at Jeffrey.

"Movie night… the kind we like and know Jin will hate."

Before Johnny could answer, the bag bounced harmlessly off the robot vacuum, plopping on the ground next to it. The sensors picked up on the new garbage littered on the floor and meandered towards the source —the black plastic pupils of the goodly-eyes swinging side to side wildly— before it wheeled towards the bag. The vacuum sucked up the plastic bag, overloaded it, let out a mechanical grind before it stopped in its tracks, ceased vacuuming, and let out an audible error beep.

Johnny frowned while Cassie chuckled.

"Why are you always so mean to Jeffery?"

Cassie smirked. "Cause he's an idiot."

Kung Jin and the Kittens: The Rum Tug Tugger

My disobliging ways are a matter of habit

By the Elder Gods, why was this a thing? The Shaolin just wanted one moment— just one— to himself where the kittens were not involved in something he was doing. He liked them, he truly did (always admitted to himself in secret and protested out loud) but they nearly 8-week-old cats were now starting to push their cute little luck now.

"Please… all of you go away…"

They mewed at him, all of them at once, before explicitly and purposefully ignoring his pleas for the twelfth time in the past ten minutes.

They were assholes. Oblivious, adorable, little assholes.

Kung Jin glowered down at all of them from the porcelain throne; the point of his elbow pressed into the top of his thigh as he rested his chin in his palm and tapped a single irate finger against the side of his cheek. Meanwhile, the kittens continued to either stare at him, knocked things off the sink counter next him (thanks RJ), or in Jack's case, felt it necessary to join him and squatted in the litterbox across from him with his beady little eyes looking at him the entire time…

Why…

Kung Jin blew a stringent, single puff of air from his nostrils…

Why in all the realms was THIS a thing?

The Shaolin monk, who had been trained in patience, threw his hands in the air in frustration at all five fuzzy annoyances.

"Why can't you all let me take a shit in privacy—for once?!" he scolded them through his teeth, his voice bouncing lightly off the walls of the white, tiled bathroom.

They all stared at him blankly, as if completely oblivious they were the source of what they deemed an unnecessary outburst from Jin, before going about and resuming their chosen activities.

RJ, who was perched on the bathroom sink counter next to him, lightly tapped the toothpaste bottle and watched it fall to the ground. It joined the toothbrush, numerous amounts of q-tips, a shaving razor and a yellow hair tie that TJ stole and was occupied with currently.

"Are you done, stupid?" Jin questioned, raising an eyebrow at the white kitten.

RJ looked at him, giving him the same dumb, blank stare, the others had as well in the bathroom; as if they all turned into complete, aloof idiots as soon as they passed the threshold.

"You forgot to brush your teeth, Kung Jin." RJ squeaked, looking at him and blinking its azure eyes. "The Elder Gods do not often express enough the benefits of good dental hygiene for Earthrealm warriors. So therefore, it is my task to remind you."

Raiden Jr. looked down at the square, white container of dental string, considered for a moment, before knocking it off the counter. "Also, do not forget to floss."

Jin sighed, picking up the tube of toothpaste and other victims of the Thunder Kitten's onslaught, before flinging them inside the sink-bowl the same time Lia jumped up to sit on one of his exposed thighs, resting back on her haunches and licking the top of his hand before giving it a 'love bite'.

"Feel and shiver in fear of my frost-bite, Kung Jin. A gift courtesy of the Grand-Kitten of the Lin Kuei."

She bit him again, her teeth refusing to detach and instead alternated opening and closing her jaw on the pinched skin from the top of his hand she had between her teeth.

The archer huffed, looking down at his pants currently around his ankles where the Shirai Ryu kitten was tucked inside his bunched-up underwear and pants, using it as a cat bed.

He rolled his eyes.

No.

Of course, they weren't going anywhere.

They never did. They were shadows.

It was as if they actively and collectively sought ways to pester him. As if they had one hive mind and schemed and plotted against him. He had a theory that they all met secretly under his bed, all of them huddled in a circle while they all discussed mischievous plots on what to do to their selfless and caring and compassionate human the next day.

Jin could understand most of those cute little-shits' schemes, but why… why in all the realms, did they feel it necessary to join him in the bathroom while he sat on the toilet, taking care of personal business. He didn't watch them in the litterbox and he wanted the same courtesy in return.

What was so interesting about it to them? Did they really have nothing else better to do? No kitten taxes to fill out or anything? They couldn't take the time to screw around in his room and take the opportunity to touch the shit he didn't like them messing with? They couldn't mess with his bow, his arrows, engage in one of their little kitten brawls, or even stare blankly at the wall while he was preoccupied?

No. That would be too kind of them to leave him alone.

TJ, who was chasing one of the yellow leather bands he used to tie his hair with, bounced around and slipped around the tiled floor before he pounced and captured the leather ribbon between his teeth. The kitten brought it to his mouth, flipping over onto its back and kicking the slender fabric voraciously for a few moments.

"That doesn't belong to you," the Shaolin monk castigated from the toilet.

The tiger flipped back over to his paws, sauntered over to him, and gave Jin a tiny glare before he dumped it at his feet; the only damage done to it being a few indentations from teeth on top of being wet with kitten spit.

The orange tabby sat back and meowed at him, batting the ribbon lightly with one of his front paws.

"Try putting your hair in a pony-tail NOW, Shaolin-Duck!" TJ lifted from his spot, strutting around the bathroom with pride with its tail up straight. "You can't—because I have killed your precious, girly yellow ribbon. Enjoy your tangled hair you dumb, stinky hooman."

"Thanks," he shot back at the orange cat before picking up the band and placing it on the sink counter. Raiden Jr. stared at it for 5.3 seconds before batting it to the ground with a single paw.

The Shaolin's eyebrow lifted up, his attention abruptly fixed on the jaguar sitting across from him, also taking care of business. For now, Jack sat on his back haunches staring at him, his tiny little body tensing as he had an uncomfortable bowel movement pass through him that was accompanied by the small waft of kitten poop hitting the air.

The panther gave a tiny mew, looking at him, as he placed a single outstretched front paw on top of the ledge of the litter box. "It's ok Kung Jin… we will get through this together."

Lia also placed a paw on the outside of his forearm, as if to console him as well.

"Leave me aloooone," Kung Jin griped, his tone pleading yet annoyed, as his eyes twisted shut.

Unfortunately, instead of receiving less company, a knock at his door signaled he was about to receive even more.

His eyes shot to his barrack's door, the bathroom door slightly ajar enough he could watch as the doorknob rattled from where he sat. It was locked thankfully, but that didn't stop Cassie from being annoying.

"Yo Siegfried and Roy, we gotta talk about your tigers," came the sergeant from the other side of the door, before she turned and wiggled the doorknob overzealously; just to be purposely irritating.

"I'm kinda busy!" Jin called at the door.

"Well hurry up— it's important!" the blonde retorted.

"He's in the bathroom Cassie, chill out," he heard Takeda inform her from the other side of the door.

The archer gave a flippant annoyed scoff at the door, his eyes widening in annoyance. "Thanks, alot, Takeda!"

"You're welcome," came his friend's sarcastic retort.

Cage Sr. laughed at the same time Kung Jin grumbled, finishing his business, before removing a tired Hana from his pants and quickly before flushing the toilet. The Shaolin made a move for the door before he felt a tiny set of claws latch on to the side of his long-sleeve white shirt. Glancing down, he raised an eyebrow at the miniature Thunder God that looked up at him.

"Kung Jin, you forgot to wash your hands," the kitten meowed, blinking softly at him. The archer sighed before he turned, pumped the hand soap into his palms, cleaned and rinsed quickly, before drying his now germ-free hands on his jean pants.

An orange flash darted in front of him, nearly tripping him as the Shaolin stumbled around trying to avoid the tiny tiger that shot across the room for seemingly no reason.

"Watch it, jerk," Jin reprimanded as the tabby jumped on the bed. "Are you trying to kill me?"

TJ's eyes slanted at him contemptuously. "Perhaps..."

Jin said nothing, walking to the door as the other kittens romped from the bathroom to join their master in the room as he opened the door. He cracked it open, just enough to poke his head through and raised an eyebrow at the four people that he had outside his door.

"What?" he questioned.

Jacqui let out a sigh, at the same time Cassie replied: "We gotta talk about your fluff-balls."

"Why? You're all not here to play with them?" Kung Jin asked, throwing a suspicious eye in Takeda's direction who shrugged innocently in return.

"Well, that," Cage Sr. joked lightly. "And we gotta talk about them all of a suddenly being on the most endangered species list."

Kung Jin furrowed his eyebrows. "What're you talking about?"

Before he could get an answer out, he felt something fluffy try and squeeze its way through his legs and out the door. He squished his ankles together, entrapping Lia who was trying to wiggle out between his legs and into the hallway. She squirmed and protested, her claws scratching lightly against the tiled floor as she mewed. The Lin Kuei kitten grappled the side of the door, using it as leverage to pull herself out of Jin's legs and try to escape.

"Freedom! I have acquired freedom! Do not fret, fellow siblings! I will return with help—"

Jacqui plucked up the kitten, who squirmed and caterwauled indignantly at the specialist. "Foiled! I have been captured. I will try and break free, brother and sisters!"

Lia gave a weak bite to the top of Jacqui's hand as Briggs gave a half-amused smirk. Lia released her hand and put its ears back as it stared at the human holding her. "Your tolerance for pain is commendable, Jacqueline Briggs. Very well, you win this battle."

Hearing approaching footsteps come down the hall, Jin relented and opened the door wider for them all to come inside. Hana scampered to the door as everybody filed into the monk's room, and before the calico could escape, Kung Jin grabbed the kitten under its tummy with one hand and lifted her into the air.

The archer brought the kitten up to face level, staring at it eye to eye. "Nice try."

The amber and black cat swiped its paws at Kung Jin's nose. "Curse you, wretched Shaolin hooman! May all your arrows fly crooked!"

Hana booped Jin on the nose softly. "There. You are cursed. Permanently. There is no hope of redemption."

As soon as the door was closed, the archer handed off the Shirai Ryu kitten to its favorite person, who in turned, made it no secret Hana was his favorite.

Takeda held the kitten against his chest, her front paws dangling over his shoulder as he smiled and said: "Hello my little chugin. Did you miss me?"

Hana sniffed the inside of his ear before biting his lobe with a quick nip. Takeda chuckled, grimacing slightly in pain. "That wasn't very nice, Hana. Don't make me have you clean the Fire Gardens with a toothbrush."

"Oh my god, Takeda…" Cassie snickered.

"I am a warrior, Master Takeda-san. I apologize. I cannot contain the fire within, sometimes," Hana meowed.

Takeda instantly let out a loud, nasally snort while looking at Jin before telepathically relaying: "Really, Jin? Takeda-san? I'm flattered. And you know I can hear all the conversations between you and the cats, right?"

Kung Jin looked at his friend, sucking his teeth and quietly thinking back—knowing Takeda was eavesdropping. "I thought you respected my privacy not to snoop."

Takeda shrugged, scratching behind Hana's ears with his free hand. "Don't worry, I won't tell. It's kinda adorable. Especially with how much you say you aren't attached to them. Still, it's too bad I can't audio-record others' thoughts."

Kung Jin narrowed his eyes; challenging his friend. "Shut up before I tell Jacqui you're afraid of Vera as much as Jax."

The ninja smiled at him, saying nothing telepathically or out loud, but raising a slight single eyebrow at him that didn't need to be telepathically communicated: "Try it."

Kung Jin gave a frown before he turned to the others. "So, what's going on?"

"Well let's just say that 'everything is kitten close to getting out of the bag'," Johnny answered.

TJ yakked somewhere behind him.

"What?" the Shaolin deadpanned; trying his best yak as well.

"Well, let's just say right meow, your cats are still a secret, but they might not remain a secret for long," Cassie added.

Jacqui rubbed the side of her temple with two of her fingers, pressing her digits into a circle and looking as annoyed as the archer was.

"English please," Jin groused, feeling RJ rubbing against the side of his leg and purring.

"Patience Kung Jin. Show patience to your comrades."

"What we are saying is it might be… pawsible that the kittens are on a certain General's radar now," Cassie snarked.

"By the Gods..."

RJ gave a low 'murr'. "Never mind. I was wrong. They are unworthy."

Briggs shook her head. "Sonya is on to you. Well, to us. All of us. She knows we're hiding something. They can't be in your room, anymore. She'll find them."

Jin sighed, feeling RJ plant his front feet on the side of his calf and balancing on his back paws; trying to get his attention. The monk reached down, grabbing the miniature Thunder God, and let him rest against his shoulder, his hand on the kitten's backside for support. It hadn't escaped his notice at the last meeting that the General looked worse than usual, caused by her allergies, and that she had suspected them all for that reason.

"We are in trouble, Kung Jin. Your heart knows it to be true as well."

"...I know, RJ."

"Yeah… I had that feeling too," the Shaolin murmured, running a hand along the back of the white cat's fur and eliciting a round of purring from RJ. "But I don't have homes for them yet. I'm still working on that.

"We weren't necessarily thinking that, but it is like what Jacqui said: we have cat to be kitten them out of here," the blonde warned, the corners of her mouth pulled up at her joke slightly.

"You beat me by four milliseconds, Cassie," Johnny chuckled, watching the remaining kittens meandering around the room. "We should probably start sneaking them away now… only time will tail when Sonya will get here. If I know her, she's already on her way. We need to stop pussy-footing around."

"She'll go into cat-aract arrest if she finds them," Takeda joined in.

"Nice Takeda," Johnny smiled.

"I swear I'm gonna pummel the next person that utters a pun," Jacqui snapped before Jin could.

"No need to have a hissy fit about it," Cassie responded, before she gave a small 'oops' and raised her hands up in defense while giving a sheepish shrug. "That one slipped out, I swear Jacs."

"Sure, it did," Takeda piped in, raising a dubious eyebrow at her.

The archer, ignoring the horrendous puns, raised an eyebrow around the room at everyone; taken by surprise.

"So… you're all helping me?" Kung Jin's eyebrows bridged into a sudden, abrupt and suspicious line. "Why?"

Johnny and Cassie glanced at each other, giving each other a sly smile that the Shaolin didn't particularly like, before returning their attention back to him.

"Oh, don't worry, Carole Baskin, the kiddo and I are not gonna ask too much of you as payment and give you a reason to kill us," Johnny grinned. "Well, maybe you'll want to kill us a little, but it's what you get after not washing my blender."

"I did wash your blender," Jin shot back sternly.

Johnny let out a scoff. "Right, and Zoo-Karen didn't feed her husband to the tigers."

"Something tells me I'm gonna hate every second of it," the Shaolin grumbled.

"Right-o, Jin. That's the idea," Cassie confirmed.

The archer scratched behind RJ's ears, contemplating for a moment if he genuinely wanted to willingly sign himself up for whatever odd torment that the Cages' had planned for him. Though, despite there being an obligation for repayment, he knew Takeda and Jacqui were simply volunteering even if they were recruited by the duo Hollywood royalty. He couldn't help but smile internally at all of their good intentions towards him— and the cats. It appeared… he wasn't the only one attached to them in some sense. Everyone in the group didn't want Sonya to find them as much as he did, and he wasn't ready for them to be discovered as well. He… he needed more time.

Jin caught himself, clearing his throat.

More time to find them homes, of course. After all, what else would he mean?

Raiden Jr. nuzzled into his throat, rubbing the sides of its face against the exposed skin of the Shaolin's neck while purring, and despite himself, Jin leaned a little into it before he nodded his head at the group, accepting their terms. Whatever the debt, the Shaolin had a pretty good guess it was going to be some Gods-Awful movie they were going to force him to watch. Eighty percent of the time, it usually was as harmless as that. Irritating, but harmless.

"What do you have in mind?" Jin asked, the Cage pair just about to explain, before he heard something fall off his bedside table behind him and one of the kittens squeaking at his back from the bed.

"You like your cellular device on the floor, yes?" Jack meowed. "I am helping. I am a helpful baby jaguar of the Am-a-zon."

He felt Takeda's eyes on him, looking at him with barely restrained amusement and an expression that read 'Really?' as he said nothing and gave a miniscule, dubious shake of his head at him. The ninja enjoying the kitten dialogue, once again.

"Zip it, Takeda."

A/N: Next Chapter featuring Kombat-cats: Skimbleshanks, Macavity and Mr. Mistoffelees. I'll leave you to guess who those are.

I don't own MK or Cats, I mean I do own three cats, but not the musical. Let me know what you thought (if you want). Always appreciated from your's truly. :)