Hey guys. Sorry for the massive delay lol, school just started again and a whole lotta whole lotta been going on, but I won't bore you with the details lol. Anyways I just want to preface this chapter by saying there is a display of domestic abuse/manipulation and panic, but I tried to keep it as non explicit as this specific plot line would allow. I love all of you and I hope you keep this warning in mind if it may be triggering.

BTW-This chapter has been updated as of 11/20/20

Enjoy xoxo

This morning had been strange to say the least.

For starters, she'd woken up on the floor in front of her window, and Quinn wasn't the type to sleep walk. That alone would be strange enough, but when she realized she was covered in what looked like dandelion seeds she was thoroughly confused. But what could she do. It wasn't like she could've gone to anyone with this information. A therapist was out of the question, and she was sure that insurance wouldn't cover it, at least not without informing her poor excuse of a father.

As reluctant as she was to drop it, she knew there was nothing she could do in the moment. Maybe she could stow away for long enough that she could do some research but even then the likelihood that she'd find anything on such an odd occurrence was thin. I'm officially loosing it, aren't I.

Nevertheless, she pushed her confusion aside. There was still much to do and she was loosing daylight every extra second she spent in her room. The time for action was drawing closer and closer and she couldn't stop the anxiety that was creeping around the edges of her mind.

Ever since she'd broken that damned bracelet, it was all she could think about. Her neck was sore from checking her surroundings, walking on eggshells to assure that the Fabrays wouldn't notice her missing bracelet. Of course, she'd already bought a fake replacement that looked enough like it when she went to the mall to get that perfume, but Russel would definitely notice if he looked too close.

Needless to say she'd been on her best behavior. She didn't need him coming close enough to see the change. Can't they come back any sooner, she yearned for the day that she'd get a chance at a real life. She read and sang about living for as ling as she could remember, yet she'd only been managing to survive. She never got the chance to understand what it was she was hearing about. Love, life, friendship...she only knew of the manipulation, the fear, the struggle. Life through the looking glass…

Overall she understood that it wasn't Russel or the bracelet that brought on the onslaught of yearning. It was more about what it all represented. Breaking the bracelet was the act of defiance that lead her to this point. If not for it, she would've still been trapped by the Fabrays' expectations. But at the same time, all of these emotions sometimes made her wonder if remaining in that mindset would've been better.

If she hadn't broken the bracelet, she would have never known her true potential, in both the supernatural and natural worlds. If not for that, she would have never had such a deep lust for freedom.

Before that day, the most she hoped for was that Russel would finally give her a pat on the back for all of the work she'd done for him, and while she still wanted his approval deep down, she now valued herself more than his opinion.

She realized then that in the end everything could blow up in her face if the other wolves decide that she deserved the hand she'd been dealt. If that happened, she would not only die, but die with a broken and hopeless heart. Yet, she couldn't think that it would be better to die without trying.

To die without ever knowing hope, or to have met it and have it ripped away in her last moment, she couldn't decide which was better.

What she did know though, was that the choice had already been made, and much like the strange manner in which she woke that morning, she had no choice but to keep moving forward. It brought her a little peace of mind that she couldn't bring herself to regret her deliberate disobedience, that was for sure. Because, every moment since then, she'd had a purpose of her own. One that she gave herself. Although said purpose came with a hell of a lot of doubt and anxiety, it was better than waking up everyday to dread the rest of her sorry life.

Plus, the girl in the mirror seemed to thank her greatly.

Quinn looked healthy. Almost as though she hadn't been borderline neglected and abused her whole life. And she was buff as hell! Coach Sylvester would approve, she joked as she stood in front of her reflection.

Knock knock.

Quinn looked to the door of her bedroom in confusion. She sure as hell wasn't expecting any visitors and if the Fabrays were they would have warned her to be on her best behavior. She remained in her room until the unwelcomed visitor came knocking downstairs again.

Taking a swift glance through the door's peephole her breath hitched. Speak of the devil and she will come indeed, she sighed in annoyance. She swung the door open to reveal her coach.

"Coach Sylvester," Quinn's voice trailed as she took in the sight of the track suit clad blonde, "What a surprise…"

"If you thought you could go the entire summer without as much as a word for why you weren't at camp than of course this would be a surprise." She jested condescendingly, speaking with her hands folded into each other behind her back. She raised her eyebrows in question as if waiting for a response, much to Quinn's confusion due to the fact that she hadn't been asked a question.

"Yeah...Coach Sylvester I-" She tried, only to be interrupted by the woman on her doorstep.

"No, you don't get to explain yourself now Fabray, the time for that has long gone. I guess I'm just glad to see that you've been staying fit." She commented throwing a pointed look at her flexed bicep as it held the door propped open.

"Thank you, Coach. I was going to visit you at the school soon but-" Quinn tried again, yet to her chagrin, she was cut off again.

"Soon? School starts in two weeks. Were you planning on walking into my office on the first day back?" She asked in her usual heated hiss. Quinn's stance straightened at the sound of such a challenge, yet as defiant as she was willing to act, she knew the woman had a point. She was the head chearleader, and she hadn't been in contact with her team all summer. With the way things were going, she'd be lucky to even still have a place on the pyramid. They probably think I'm pregnant or something, she sighed and shook her head in defeat.

"You're right...I'm sorry, this summer's been kind of-"

"Quinn!" Was anyone ever going to let her finish a sentence today? She internally groaned hearing her supposed father calling for her from the couch, she remembered to throw an apologetic look to the woman at the door before she stepped back slightly to call back.

"Yes, Dad?" She hesitated, the whole summer had gone by without her calling him with such respect, she'd almost forgotten to use the term at all. Glancing back to the door that was slightly ajar she hoped that Sue hadn't caught the slip up and maintained her fake smile.

"Who the hell was at the door?" He all but belched in her direction. Holding back a face of disgust she fixed herself to respond appropriately.

"It's my Coach, from school...Sue Sylvester." Quinn said, suggesting with her tone that he could come see her himself if he so pleased. And apparently he did. She heard the man groan as he shifted from his deep set butt print in the couch to come to the door. As he approached her, he wiped his face with his hand and looked Quinn up and down.

"You answered the door in a fucking tank top? After all I've done for you, you chose to disgrace me with such whorishness?" Russel spat, crumbs and droplets of beer and chips flinging from his facial hair as he did so.

"I'm sorry Russel." Quinn whispered in response, trying to save some face with the two adults that seemed to corner her mind. Sue is right there, and I'm sure that open door won't do much to stop her from seeing if her hits me, she calculated. The man was piss drunk, and there was a slim chance she'd get out of this unharmed. She looked between the door and the man that stumbled in front of her.

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it this time. You think I'm stupid or something? Huh, Lucy? I know you took off your fucking bracelet, you're only still here because I let you live-"

"Shut up!" She thought. The man was breaking ever last shred of resolve in her being, but to go as far as to call her by that name as if he were truly the one that gave it to her. He'd never done that before, and he sure as hell wasn't about to get away with it now. Yet, when she look into his eyes with the rage that she knew he could see, all she saw was a red tracksuit in front of her. What? She thought, looking back to the door where she'd left her coach, only to find it ajar and empty. Sue…

"Listen here sir, I don't give three and a half rat asses about what you may have given this little community but if you think you're going to proceed this way in front of me, you are so sorely mistaken. I suggest you make yourself a cup of coffee and be on your way." She gritted through her teeth. It was rare to see Sue act in such a protective manner, seeing as the only people she seems to care for are her sister, Becky and herself…

"I will be taking Quinn for the day and if you so much as look at her when she leaves I will call the authorities. Now I know well that it won't do much to see you get what you deserve but It sure as hell would be a headache for your piggy friends to cover your tracks again, huh Russel?" The man only watched her with what Quinn was sure was bleary vision, and slowly trudged backwards and into the kitchen. By the time he had turned around to complete the task the woman gave him, Quinn could feel the woman's firm grip on her shoulder, pulling her out of the house and into her car.

That's where the two of them stayed, for how long Quinn didn't know. The silence was heavy, Quinn could nearly see the adrenaline that emanated from the blonde beside her.

Yet, no matter how desperately she wanted to thank her for what she did, she just could help but feel like she should be angry. Who was Sue for her to swoop in and take her away from her home? She was no one, rather Quinn was no one to be protected. Especially by Sue.

After all these years of playing her role as the HBIC, in that moment she felt utterly powerless. Powerless to her inexplicable regard to Russel Fabray and his family, the relief that came from liberation...the dread that came with liberation. Such conflicting notions were bound to have her messed up for a while, but with the addition of Sue Sylvester driving her to God knows where…

All of a sudden she became aware of her heart. It was beating incredibly slow. Almost too slow. It made her more than a little uncomfortable. She'd just been caught in a vulnerable position by a woman she wasn't sure was on her side until just then, and all she could do to react was sit in the passenger seat and drift off in her thoughts? Maybe she was just in shock? She couldn't tell, and it did nothing to ease her discomfort. Am I about to pass out or something? She panicked, I can't be unconscious with her driving me around! And just like that her heart rate sky rocketed.

In her thoughts, Sue failed to notice the turmoil stirring in the teen beside her. What was supposed to be a run of the mill check in had turned out to be some sort of poorly planned rescue mission, to say the least she was shaken. The adrenaline of undermining the man's authority was enough to allow her to forget who she was protecting in the moment, but now, sitting beside her as she drove to the school, she was having a hard time understanding how she'd missed it.

It was her job as coach to ensure that her students were well taken care of, and even if she made it a point not to take good care of them, she never would have wished for one of her kids to be abused. All of the harm that was meant to come to them would have been of their own accord, but this… Damnit Quinn…

She knew as well that asking why she hadn't said anything would be foolish. She only would have gotten fed the same lies she fed herself all those years ago…

"Quinn." She spoke evenly without letting her gaze stray to the side. The suddenness of her voice, no matter how soft, was enough to physically jolt the girl out of her panic. She let out a gasp, jerking her hand to clutch her heart as it pounded.

Sue only spared the girl a glance of concern, still unsure how to approach the topic of what they now fled from. After a moment more Quinn finally regained her sense and steeled her expressions in preparation for what would no doubt be a line of questions that she didn't want to answer.

"Yes, Coach?" Quinn said monotonous and soft, as if she were a servant being sent to do clean a bed pan of some sort. The woman in question pulled a face at her tone, yet side stepped her concern to continue.

"Are you...are you hungry?"

"Yo, Rachel." Noah called out as he saw her enter the house. He quickly stood from his hunched position on the couch and jogged up behind her as she moved up the stairs.

"Hello Noah," She greeted amiably enough, not bothering to crane her neck backwards. When she reached the top of the stairs she turned around suddenly and pushed a hand into the large boy's chest to prevent his from walking straight into her in his distraction. "To what do I owe the interruption?" Noah connected his eyes to hers, clearly distraught about whatever it was teen wolves thought about these days.

"I uh, I gotta talk to you about something." He said in a hushed tone, as if protecting his vulnerability from prying ears around the house. At this Rachel's eyebrow quirked curiously.

"Clearly...I take it you want to go for a walk?" She predicted, nodding her head in the direction of the back yard. When Noah only nodded his response she released a tired breath of anticipation and she ran a hand through her loose brown locks.

"Alright," She exhaled, "just...give me minute to change." It was only then that Noah noticed her slightly disheveled state, and more importantly, her smell.

"Ohh!" He chuckled in disbelief. "Looks like our alpha finally got some action!" He enthused loudly, resulting in a muffled snickering to erupt behind her. She turned her head to see who she knew was behind the laughter and gave the meanest glare she could muster, which was if anything laughable.

"Mhmm, Berry's got it bad for Trixie~" Santana joked as she approached the pair o=at the top of the stairs, making sure to poke Rachel's sides teasingly as she went passed.

"Her name, is Tracy." Rachel huffed and swatted at the fingers jabbing her stomach. "And what I get up to in my spare time is none of your concern. That goes for you too Santana." She complained. The girl in question only yawned defiantly, stalling oddly beside them rather than continuing her descent. Rachel smirked deviously when she noticed just how flushed the Latina's cheeks were, and by the way they grew even redder when the door behind her opened again, she knew exactly what she'd been up to.

"Hey, Brittany?" Rachel asked, looking as cocky as ever when she didn't even turn to face the blonde, choosing instead to watch the brunette's reaction to her next words. "Speaking of what we do in our free time...what have you been doing?" She crossed her arms around her chest and cocked her hips as if to say gotcha!

"Well-" She poised to respond, even going as far as to tap a finger to her chin in contemplation, if only Santana hadn't jumped to cute her off.

"Brittany! I need to show you something!" She swiftly said, pointing a flustered glare at Rachel as she ran forward to pull the blonde away. The girl simply laughed as she struggled to keep up.

"Silly Sanny~" Rachel heard as Sanny closed the door behind her, leaving her and Noah teetering at the landing in prolonged silence. Subtly, Noah cleared his throat.

"OH! Right...Let me just, uh-" She stumbled as she retreated to her room to change her clothes.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Rachel said from beside the boy as they trekked the paths in the forest behind the safe house. She had showered and changed into a stolen hoodie and some cotton basketball shorts, all courtesy of Noah's closet. Thankfully Noah had some sense to grab a hoodie himself, the weather was finally starting to cool down, and though they didn't exactly need the clothes to keep them warm, it's not like they really thought much of it when they saw the weather forecast. Old habits and all that…

"Um, it's about Quinn." At that, she stopped completely, eyes fixed and distracted on a leaf on the ground. Quinn… "I'm sort of still in love with her." He continued, completely missing the alpha's sudden stillness. She didn't give him a chance too as she quickly made up the steps and regained her stride beside him

"Wow. I don't think now's the right time to be thinking on that though, if I'm being honest." She said carefully, trying to suppress the emotion that was growing in her chest. I am so gonna need a run after this, she thought.

"I know! I'm just..."He sighed, "We go back to Lima in like a week!" He ran his hands through his hair and stopped walking to face her directly. In return Rachel looked at him sideways trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"Noah…" She said, imploring him to continue.

"I hate to ask this of you, but she'll see right through me if I asked Santana-"

"Noah!" She said in disbelief.

"Please Rachel...We're friends! It would be easy to pull off if we just acted like a coup-"

"Absolutely not!"

"Rachel-" He pleaded as she vehemently shook her head and walked ahead of him. Now way in hell is this happening, she thought as she ran her own hand through her hair. Sure it would in theory keep the Noah away from the blonde, but if he knew anything about her at all he would already know that it wouldn't keep her away from them. Quinn had always been confrontational. And this was a confrontation that Rachel couldn't have.

"I can't." She protested again. Her eyes shut tightly and her fists followed in suit. Right when he opened his mouth to beg she lifted her hand to his mouth. "How would that make us look Noah? I just broke up with someone who considers you their best friend at the beginning of the summer. If we came back to school like that it would draw too much attention." He looked down at the hand in front of his face and took a moment to consider. It was a valid point. If they were going to keep a low profile to avoid the purifiers, it wouldn't help to have the whole school talking about the Alpha of their pack.

"Rachel," He started, his voice holding an air of seriousness that sent a bone chilling shiver through her being, "They're going to talk regardless. If we're going to be on guard the whole time we can't have distractions...I can't have her distracting me." She shook her head again.

As much as she didn't want to talk to Quinn, she couldn't deny that their was apart of her that wanted to know how she would react. This is such a bad idea...but he's kind of right. She let out a deep sigh, rubbing the wrinkle out of her forehead as she considered.

"Fuck, Noah…I'll think about it okay?" She acquiesced, knowing that he knew she would agree. But she'd be damned if she didn't come up with some terms of her own.

"Thank you, Rachel. Thank you." And when he hugged her she hugged him back, even if her mind was racing with the coming events.

The conversation had passed through her as though she were idly watching a movie. She had just agreed to put herself in a situation that would put her directly in the path of the very blonde she was avoiding. The same blonde that pushed her into Tracy's arms every other night.

As Noah walked away from her she watched him. Even as the corners of her vision began to blur and distort, her eyes remained on him as though he were the one who had sealed her fate. Even if she wanted nothing more than to hold the one he loved, her beating heart could hardly be tamed by her desire. He still loved Quinn. The same Quinn that lied to him and hid him from the world. The same Quinn that stirred his insecurity. The same Quinn that chose his best friend over him.

In that they were more similar than he could ever know. She too held regard for her, even after everything they'd been through. Even after all those harsh words and less than subtle blistering stares from across the halls. Rachel still saw her eyes in every reflection. She saw her smile in every light. She could even hear her voice on the wind as it blew, just as she had heard it that day.

"Rachel," Quinn whispered as she locked the door of the empty classroom they'd holed up in for their lunch period. Never before had she known her whisper to be so dangerous...so coarse. "I can't be friends with you anymore…"

As quiet as they were, they'd clearly bounced off the door they were spoken into and flew straight into her ears. She stared at her back, waiting for the punchline of what she thought had to be a joke. Yet, it never came. And just as she had processed those words, the blonde turned her head ever so slightly to make eye contact with her.

In that moment Rachel made sure to ingrain every one of her features in her mind. The way her hazel eyes looked at her with dim melancholy that she couldn't understand. The way her lips held together tightly, holding back the flood of words that she didn't dare utter. She remembered the way she shuffled across the room to stand in front of her. The feel of her naturally cold hands as they took hers into them and held them to her undeveloped chest.

The both of them were barely fourteen when it happened. Just as they were when they'd met. They were so young...too young to have subjected themselves to public concern. But she supposed at the time she understood how large of an influence the girl's conservative father had on her.

They stood there staring at each other for so long. It could have been as long as twenty minutes, or as short as three. But, it was long enough for Rachel to be haunted by the lifelessness behind the eyes that she was learning to love. And they too were haunted by visions of brown and gleeful eyes.

Rachel thought it would help to close her eyes, that if she couldn't see Quinn in that moments that she would learn to live without her. Quinn had other ideas though.

"Rachel…" She whispered only a hair away from her face. The weight of her feather light breath on her eye lids crushed her shoulders toward the Earth, and when she opened her eyes to look at her one more time, her vision was blocked by the golden tendrils of hair that covered her face as she closed the distance between them. Quinn's lips left her own far too quickly. But, Rachel supposed that was just Quinn's trademark, leaving a whisper of an impression. Whispered words often hold more power than those that are cried out, Rachel would soon come to learn.

"Fuck." She whimpered, so lost in the memory that came over her that she hadn't realized that she was still standing just behind the house, shaking and crying silently.

She stumbled as she backed away from the house, tripping over herself as she struggled out of her clothes and head first into her transition. She yanked at the reigns of the fire that burned in her veins, practically exploding as the fur erupted around her skin and her bones reconstructed. Her pained growl came as her feet planted unstably into the forest floor, moving her forward haphazardly faster than her mind could comprehend. She didn't know where she was going, only focused on the cold and dirt covered sweat that clung to her fur like the panic that gripped her heart. Water, she thought. She needed water.

Soon enough her body had sought her request, landing her at the lake that she had taken Santana to weeks ago. In her panicked state she was unable to notice the fairy like lights that flew around her in a calm flurry, starkly contrasting the heaviness and instability in her chest. She dove paws first into the water, closing her eyes tightly as the water rose over her fur covered head.

In her panicked state she was unable to notice the fairy like lights that flew around her in a calm flurry, starkly contrasting the heaviness and instability in her chest. She dove paws first into the water, closing her eyes tightly as the water rose over her fur covered head. Though she couldn't breath now fully submerged in the lake, the moment the water enveloped her body she felt the weight of her past be left on the surface. Down here she felt safe…

She opened her eyes slowly, as if moving too fast would disturb the tranquility she found. As she opened her eyes to what was beneath the water, time slowed to a near stop. All around her those same flecks of gold swarmed around her like an excited school of fish after a feed. Yet, she did not panic in their midst. If not for her paws she would have reached out and tried to touch them, she even tried as much. And when she outstretched her paw the gold began to part around her fur, coaxing her forward into the light. Further and further she went into the light, even as it became too blindingly bright for her to see past it. She was entrapped by its brilliance.

Slowly, she regained her sight, yet she was surprised to no longer be in the lake with the friendly glow.

She was in a bedroom. It looked lived in and warm. But, something was...wrong. There were no pictures littered about the room. Just paper. Notes, classwork maybe, but mostly what looked like files. Even those were scarce though. Why am I here? She thought to herself, stepping on all fours into the middle of the room. Only few of the flurries of light followed her in, as if guiding her to remain calm and curious. And curious she was. She tried to take a sniff of the room around her but quickly stopped when she realized that the weight of the water had not left her face. She was somehow still in the lake…

She closely examined the bed, thinking that there had to be a diary or something under the pillow. Maybe I can find a name...and before she could flip the pillow over with her snout, the door to the room was flung opened. The foot steps that followed were muffled as sound would carry through water. But that's not what she focused on. The girl who entered had stopped dead in her tracks, staring right into her eyes. Of course… Rachel thought. Of course it had to be her.

"Rachel."

There it was, the same as it had been. A mere whisper that should have been lost to her mind. But she still remembered. Her face could have given away the pain that coursed through her body like a searing hot blade, she wouldn't know. All she knew in that moment was her.

Quinn.

She could feel her in the "air" around her body, she was literally everywhere.

How couldn't I see it before. She wanted to say. And perhaps she did, by the look of the blonde's face she had said something. She wasn't sure though. She would never be sure, as just before she could even quirk her head to the left she was sucked away from the girl's room by a panicked shout of her name.

"Rachel! Rachel, wake the fuck up!"

Thanks again for reading the story you guys. I'll be uploading more frequently from here on out so don't y'all worry your pretty little heads lolol.

xoxo