Bubba

Jimmy wasn't none too happy about puttin' the six-pack back in the fridge, but it ain't every day you go fishin' with the preacher. I think he knows we drink, but he ain't never said nothin'. Still, it don't seem right somehow to chug a cold one in front of him.

"I hope this goes better than last winter!" Pete muttered.

Andy throwed back his head and laughed real hard. All this time, and he still thinks it's the funniest dang thing he ever heard.

We was kinda bored last winter 'cause the water froze up, so we couldn't take our boats out. The preacher comes up to us and he says have we ever tried ice fishin'.

My eyes got real wide. "What in the world is ice fishin'?"

He said, "Well, you all come out to my place some time this weekend, and I'll show you."

Preacher's got a real gift. He'd kinda point to somewhere, and we'd drill a hole. Then a whole buncha fish'd come out. We got enough for a good fry and some left over to sell to the meat locker.

"Reckon country music is a sin, Preacher?" Jimmy asked.

"Nah!" Andy answered for him. "Even God likes George Straight!"

Pete thought that was real funny, and he kinda stumbled from laughin'. 'Cept he stumbled right into the nearest hole. Preacher was real quick to catch him by the hand and haul him back onto the ice.

"Ain't no one never told ya walkin' on water don't work 'less it's froze?" I asked. "Preacher's the best fisherman of all of us! We all caught fish, and he done caught a grown man!"

Ol' Pete didn't say nothin'. Too cold probably.

Andy said he'd run on back to Pete's trailer and get him a change of clothes if the rest of us wanted to stay. Preacher had invited us for lunch, so we agreed real quick.

Time we finished talkin', Preacher had already taked off his own coat and wrapped it real tight 'round Pete. Think Pete tried to say thanks, but he was shiverin' too hard.

The preacher had a real warm house. It was right cozy. He had one of them fake fireplaces that looks pretty durn real. He had Pete sit right down and make himself right at home in front of that fire. He didn't seem to care none that Pete was leavin' a big wet spot in the chair 'cause he was soaked to the skin. Preacher just got him a big cup of coffee; then he got one for the rest of us too.

"God like rednecks and good ol' boys?" Jimmy asked.

"When Jesus walked the Earth as a human being, he spent a lot of his time with fishermen," Preacher answered.

"Ya reckon Pete woulda gone to Heaven if ya hadn't pulled him out?"

Pete looked real mean at Jimmy.

"It depends," said Preacher. "It all comes down to whether or not we ask Jesus to forgive us of what we do wrong and if we truly believe he is our Lord and God."

"Never really thought much about it," Jimmy said. "Just always seemed like there'd be time later, 'cept with Pete…"

"We don't always have as much time as we think. One moment can change everything."
"Yeah." Jimmy sipped his coffee. "But, Preacher, if I take Jesus in my heart and ya baptize me, ya gotta promise not to do it the way ya done for Pete."

Preacher's shoulders shaked with real quiet laughing. "I promise."

Me and Jimmy got saved. Think Pete did too, but he couldn't hardly talk right. Reckon God understood him though. When Andy came with Pete's change of clothes, we got him in on it too.

We been trying to cut back on our drinkin', but it ain't been easy. Preacher says just keep prayin', and God will help us. I'm down to one beer a day.

Anywho, now it was summer, and we was gonna fish some more. Preacher said he knew this place called Swallow Lake. The feller who named it had real bad luck. He claimed he was fishin' in the ocean this one time, and he fell overboard and got swallered alive by this big ol' shark. His buddies managed to catch the shark, and when they cut it open, he was still alive. When the shark feller found the lake, he was wadin', and these real tiny fish without teeth started bitin' at his toes, and he got real scared 'cause he thought they was baby sharks or somethin', and his buddies laughed and laughed. Least that's how the legend went.

Preacher didn't own a boat, but his neighbor had the biggest dang pontoon you ever saw. When he started savin' up money for a boat, Noel thought he might as well have a big one. People thought it was pretty dumb and asked what in the world he needed a pontoon for.

Wasn't nobody laughin' when that flash flood hit a couple years back. Noel grabbed some food, put it in the cooler, grabbed a couple other things, whistled for his dog, and hid out on the pontoon for a few days. Good thing, too. His whole yard and the first floor of his house was flooded. Noel was a pretty nice guy, so he let about seven other people and their pets on with him when they got flooded out.

Anyways, Noel couldn't come fishin' with us, but he was nice enough to loan Preacher his boat. When we got to Swallow Lake, we were surprised to see Preacher's hand wrapped up.

"Home improvement project gone wrong," he explained. "I don't know how I managed, but I accidentally got my hand with the nail gun. Dr. Lukas said I was lucky that I hadn't hit anything major, so even though it hurt, God was still with me."

"Reckon we oughta pray for God to be with us so we'll have good fishin'?" Andy wondered.

"Ya wanna do the honors, Preacher?" Pete asked.

We taked off our hats and bowed our heads.

"God, we are amazed that even though you're so powerful, you love us like your own children," Preacher began. "We praise you and thank you for everything. Thank you for being with us, no matter what, and thank you for our time together as friends. Please bless our fishing. We ask that you help us to do your will during our lives on Earth, just like we'll do in Heaven someday. Thank you for meeting our needs. Forgive us when we fail you, and help us forgive others who fail us. Help us not give in when we face temptation; ruin all the devil's plans against us. We worship you alone forever. In your holy name, amen."

"'Men!" we all said.

After a good couple hours, we still hadn't caught nothin', and I was gettin' pretty hungry.

"Who brought the food?" Pete wondered.

"I thought Jimmy was gonna bring some!" Andy said.

Jimmy throwed up his hands. "Don't look at me! Bubba?"
"I ain't got nothin'!"

We all sorta looked at each other funny.

"Never mind." Preacher smiled. "Let's just thank God for his provision."

He said grace over a lunch none of us had. Then he opened the cooler he'd been sittin' on. There was five ham sandwiches and a twelve-pack of soda.

"Ya know that was gonna be in there?" I asked.

"I didn't know for sure," said Preacher, "but Noel and I are old friends. I had a feeling he had food for us somewhere onboard, even though I didn't specifically ask for it. We should leave a handful of fish to thank him."

Pete's frowned. "What fish? We ain't got none!"

"Such little faith!" Preacher hit him in the arm, but he didn't hurt him none.

Wasn't more than half an hour later I got my first bite. Then we got so many fish that we had to put some of 'em back so we wouldn't be over the legal limit. We was all gonna be eaten fish 'til it came out our ears, and we'd have plenty to give our families and friends, and then we'd have a little soda money from the meat locker. Say what you want about Preacher, but you can't deny he's a real fish magnet.

As we were gettin' back in our trucks, another car pulled up, and this stranger got out. He looked real bad.

"Pastor Fulgrace?" he said in a real weird accent

Preacher smiled real nice like. "Yes?"

"I wanted to thank you. Your church sent a donation to my medical bills. I was able to continue treatment, and I'm getting better now. Dr. Lukas says I will soon be well. When I am, I want to do some volunteer work for the church to show my gratitude."

"Praise God!" Preacher shaked his hand. "You are welcome in services any time. We'd be happy to help you find a niche."

As the stranger drove away, I seed Preacher was frownin'.

"Somethin' wrong?" I asked. "'Course it probably ain't none of my business."

"Where are the other nine? We sent out donations to help ten people, and none of the others even sent a thank you card or a courtesy call. The only one who's thanked us has been this man." He shrugged. "God will take care of it. After all, we must help others out of love, not because we hunger for gratitude."

Preacher told a story then of a feller that won the lottery and bought this real nice house, but his money made him be a real jerk. He spent lots of it on loose women.

There was this homeless guy that asked the rich guy for food. Rich guy said no, but after the hobo begged him every day for almost a year, he gave him a fifty. The bum got a cheap hotel room without TV, but it kept the rain off his head for the night. He used the rest to have a burger. Couldn't afford no fries or drink, but he at least had a sandwich.

Rich feller weren't none too smart. He went out to Vegas and lost all his money gamblin'. When he came back home, he was gonna lose his house 'cause he couldn't pay the mortgage.

"Gimme more time!" he said. "I'm good for it! I'll pay ya!"

They gave him more time, so he went out and found the hobo. He wanted his fifty bucks back. The homeless feller didn't have it, so the guy who use to be rich started to beat him black and blue. Somebody called the cops, and they weren't none too happy when they heard the story. They helped the bum find this work program, and he eventually moved into the nice house. As for the other guy, he went to jail for beatin' up the hobo, but it turns out he already had a long history with the law, so they fried him like an egg.