8
THE cold wind seared against Padfoot's thick, matted, blood-clotted fur as he ran amidst the trees in an incontrollable speed, making Sirius Black's eyes tear and his mouth dry as in his Animagus form, the huge, hulking black dog licked its lips. He leapt over felled wood and pointed crags, over mossy rocks, and roots.
Ravens above his head squawked their displeasure at their tranquility being interrupted, flapping their wings in a frenzy as the beast prodded twigs along his zigzagged path, following the stench of the Rat, and the smell of the Wolf.
The Wolf he recognized. He smelled of pinewood, of autumn, good smells, but the Rat… A mystical power was surging over Padfoot with every twist and turn of his wretched body, trapped in this animalistic form for now as his disguise.
The stench of a bloodbath, the Rat's, was what propelled the Dog forward, and for once, the animal felt in control of his own body since his escape from Azkaban. Though before he could fulfill his greatest and darkest desire of sinking his own fangs into the rat's neck, thirst slowed his lean legs as he sniffed at the ground, following the scent of a nearby babbling brook that led to the Black Lake.
The water was icy cold to the touch, its placid surface rippling along stones, and as the black dog carefully padded on its paws towards the brook, its ears perking up at the noise, eager to plunge his taut jaw into the water and drink his fill, the dog caught sight of his reflection, the sight of a black but sharp snout sniffing the water carefully, at the deep yellow eyes surrounded by the unmistakable outline of thick black fur, at the two sharp pointed ears on either side of his head. Padfoot gave a start, feeling uneasy to see himself in this way.
He had not gone so long in his Animagus form, not since Moony's last transformation when Prongs and Wormtail had still been—No! The dog growled, baring its canines, giving a low, rumbling snarl from the confines of his chest as he thought of the rat. The reason for his escape. He was here.
At Hogwarts. Pettigrew and Moony, both of them. Padfoot had tried to forget Moony. What bloody hell else could he do? Remus had made his choice.
And it had not been to stick by him. He had heard what Sirius had tried to do to Pettigrew for the betrayal of the Potters' and hated him for what he'd done.
Or rather, hadn't done, Padfoot thought bitterly, not bothering to stifle his growl. If Wormtail hadn't fled like the coward Padfoot knew him to be, and honored Sirius's request for a duel, Padfoot felt certain he would have won, then.
He'd have beaten the rat to a bloody pulp had Pettigrew played fair, forced him to apologize to him and Moony for betraying James and Lily to Voldemort, and then would have slit his unworthy throat where the betrayer stood and that was that. Unfortunately, he'd not gotten the chance twelve years ago, but not anymore. Things would be different. Pettigrew had hightailed it into the night like the coward he was, but now, Padfoot would reap the revenge he wanted.
Padfoot's ears perked up as the dog heard a rustling noise and what sounded like the voice of a Woman. A soft, reserved voice, one that he faintly recognized.
Another scent wafted its way through his nostrils and Padfoot felt his pupils dilate in the dark, even trapped in Animagus form like this to maintain secrecy.
This Woman, this she-stranger, however familiar her scent was, carried another scent. One of pinewood, elm, and oak. The Wolf's scent, that mad beast.
Oh, yes. He knew that scent quite well. Another caught his attention, the Rat. Padfoot did not bother this time to stifle the low growl that gathered in the confines of his wretched chest as he let it out and bounded towards the noise.
Hopefully, if he were fast enough, he'd find him, and have the chance to explain to Moony the truth of what had happened.
Padfoot knew without even having to think as he bounded forward on all fours, the black dog's legs automatically taking him to him.
Towards the Black Lake. To Peter Pettigrew, that witless worm…
He could only hope he wasn't too late.
Tonks may have left Hogwarts castle, but had not actually left the grounds herself following that horrible misunderstanding in front of the Great Hall with Professor Lupin, but she simply could not bring herself to tell the man the truth.
She just couldn't seem to find it within her resolve to go back inside just yet and face the man and apologize for not being entirely truthful with Remus Lupin.
And yet, Tonks bloody knew that she owed it to the man to apologize. At some point, hopefully in the distant future, the truth was going to come out, one way or another, but there was a stubborn streak of pride deep within her personality that she had always hated and worked hard to repress, that she wanted Remus to confess the nature of his condition to her, before she mentioned him.
Tonks furrowed her brows as she walked, momentarily thinking of heading towards Hagrid's hut, seeing the smoke curling from the chimney and paying the half-giant old gamekeeper and caretaker of the Hogwarts grounds a needed visit.
Though something gave her pause as she froze, rooted to her spot, indecision rendering her immobile as she looked towards the left, towards Hagrid's home.
Or to the right, which led towards the Forbidden Forest and Black Lake. Tonks stifled a groan of frustration as she bit the wall of her cheek, pondering her options. Eventually, she settled towards the forest and the Black Lake, valuing peace and tranquility in her current agitated state over visiting with Hagrid now.
There would be time enough to visit with him later, Tonks told herself. The young witch gave her head a curt shake to try to clear her mind, wanting to shove thoughts aside of Sirius and Remus for now, and Tonks found herself unable to.
She wanted to march right back up the castle, find Remus, and apologize, grovel at his feet if she had to, and tell him the truth of the nature of her relationship with Sirius, and pray the man would forgive her for not being honest.
And yet, she was afraid that confessing the truth would drive a wedge between the two of them and put a brick wall up between her and her partner.
It happened once with Ollie, it could happen with this man too, Tonks thought bitterly to herself, biting the wall of her cheek in nervous trepidation.
The witch squeezed her eyes tightly shut, refusing to think of Ollie Brennan, and despite her best efforts not to, she thought of her former boyfriend anyways.
She had bloody said goodbye to that man a long time ago, and yet, the memory of him still burned and ignited a flame within the pit of her churning stomach hotter than any dragon fire from a Hungarian Horntail could ever flame.
The pain of the man leaving her for another woman, one she knew and liked, Norah Jameson, a werewolf who worked in the Ministry of Magic in the Department for Control and Regulation and Care of Magical Creatures, stung.
It hurt as hell, and last night had been one of those times when the pain of Ollie leaving her had seeped to the surface unwanted and rendered her breathless.
She had slept admittedly very little, and she was worried the dark purple shadows underneath her eyes were becoming more pronounced as days passed.
Her sleep last night had not lasted very long, Tonks was ashamed to admit it to herself. She woke as the sun rose, gasping and yearning for the man who had betrayed her by falling in love with another witch when he'd claimed to be hers.
But Ollie had never been hers. Always…hers. She had dreamed of Ollie last night. He had visited her in her sleep several times since he'd left her all alone to rot that fateful day underneath the shade of the willow tree in the park near her flat. In the darkness, the vision came, as clear as the nights they'd spent together and the passion the two of them had shared the one and only time Ollie had laid with her, which should have been another red flag in their six month relationship.
"A mistake," Tonks growled, echoing Ollie's words of bitter poison, whispering them through gritted teeth, not caring that she could practically see the poison that dripped from her words as she recollected that fateful evening.
In her dreams, she saw the depths of his cobalt pale blue orbs, felt the strength of his arms around her, and tasted the sweetness of his kiss, his lips against hers.
Each time the dreams came to her, each one more intense than the last, Tonks was forced to relive the glorious love she had thought she'd found in him, and the heartache of waking to find the man gone as she jolted from her sleep, her body still tingling numbly with the memory of her former classmate and love.
She feared she would never truly be able to be made whole again following Oliver James Brennan's betrayal of her feelings, for the man had ripped her heart out from her chest with his own two hands when he had left her for Norah, then.
Or at least, it felt that way at the time. Tonks let out a tired sigh and bit her inner cheek as she felt an uncomfortable pit forming in her nauseous stomach.
Suddenly, she was grateful she had fled the first floor and the Great Hall, no longer hungry for dinner, though she inwardly cringed at having to go back up there and apologize to poor Lupin not just for the first time she had treated him so coldly on the Hogwarts Express the night term started, but tonight, as well.
Tonks could not help but ponder over Professor Dumbledore's words to her the other night in his office, how he believed her appointment as the man's new partner could lead to him making a friend, something he had little of in life.
And maybe if Tonks wasn't mistaken, a chance for her own happiness, too.
Happiness… Tonks shook her head and smiled sadly to herself, trying to tamper down the bitter bile rising in her chest. She felt happiness was something she was unlikely to be bestowed with in this life. Not after Ollie leaving her.
Tonks would never be able to let herself take the easy path to happiness. If she could, she would have found a way to convince Ollie to stay with her forever.
Tonks closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against her wrists in anger and utter humiliation. She attempted to forget the entire incident in the Great Hall but couldn't erase the sight of Remus Lupin from her mind, how hurt he looked.
She ached, longed, to tell the man the truth about Sirius, but she couldn't.
Besides, even if she did tell Professor Lupin the truth about Sirius, what was he going to do to her? What could Remus do? Tell her not to worry about arresting her own bloody cousin, for Merlin's left buttocks' sake? And what about her parents?
They worried and fretted over her, still seeing her as their little girl, though she wasn't a child anymore. She was a fully-fledged adult and had, in her mind, proven herself more than capable as an Auror, young still, though she was, it shouldn't matter that she was the youngest in her department at the Ministry of Magic. It paid well, and Tonks enjoyed the work, and she wasn't about to quit.
What about her friends? What about Shacklebolt and old Broody Moody? What would those two say to her if she failed in her current assignment to apprehend Black and bring her own cousin to justice? And Remus, oh, Remus!
The two men had been friends, once upon a time, in a different life. To ask the man to go against someone who he had once been on good terms with was unfathomable, and would most likely go against everything that he believed in.
Tonks squinted as she looked up at the late afternoon sun before closing her eyes and allowing her peaky face to bask in the sun's warming heat as it slowly dipped below the horizon. The grounds were quiet, only the occasional straggling student or two out for a walk, only the sound of finches and swifts were heard.
The young witch breathed in the twilight air and let out a tired sigh, furrowing her brows as she pondered over the nature of the vicious rumors, mostly generated by the Hogwarts Professors themselves, of Lupin and her.
She gritted her teeth and ground them, almost stomping towards the direction of the Forbidden Forest. The rumors circulating about her and Hogwarts' Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher were maddening, claiming that Professor Dumbledore had only paired the two of them together because Remus John Lupin held an obvious interest in the witch ten years younger than he was.
Some of them, Tonks had learned from none other than Professors Sprout and Remus, and this was only day three of the start of term, had the gall to say that she provided more service than just serving as a guard to the first floor corridor. This aggravated Tonks to no end, but she had, sad to say, been expecting such rumors would swirl. It was only natural, considering their unique pairing.
"Damn!" Tonks threw her head back to the sky, curling her hands into shaking fists at her side as she continued her walk towards the Forest. "Is there no way out of this mess that doesn't end in betrayal and heartbreak?" she sighed.
Apparently not. Tonks's frown deepened as her conscience tormented her. As Tonks slowly felt the worst of her anger drain from her system, all that was left in its wake was a horrible sense of hopelessness and despair and agony.
There truly was no way out of her predicament that didn't end in unhappiness. She was going to have to tell Remus the truth one way or another, in time, and she had a sinking feeling churning in the pit of her stomach that the man wasn't going to trust her or her motives once the truth came to light.
The most she could do was accept the reality: She was going to have to keep the secret and lie to a man who, having only just met him, she knew she liked.
It was a fact and there was no stopping it. Tonks groaned in exasperation, raking her fingers through her thick mane of wavy dark pink tresses in agitation.
She was still reeling from everything that had happened. Her heart still beat wildly against the cage of cartilage and bone within her chest as she pondered over what had bloody just happened at the front of the Great Hall. He'd…left.
"All because I was too afraid to tell him the truth," Tonks answered bitterly to herself. She shakily knit her fingers together and tried to calm herself down by forcing herself to breathe slowly in and out, though it felt as though the cold air that made its way to her burning lungs was biting, and everything bloody ached.
Professor Dumbledore would surely appoint someone else as her partner. Remus Lupin was going to complain to the Headmaster about her inability to do this job effectively and that was going to be that. She'd be thrown out of the castle by morning. Of this she was certain. Tonks had succeeded on the third day of the school's term in upsetting the school's Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and had overstepped Merlin only knew how many invisible boundaries.
"I'm sorry, Moody," Tonks whispered hoarsely as she looked towards the woods. "I wasn't strong enough for this job. For this place," she murmured lowly.
Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach as she realized how disappointed her mentor in the Auror's training program would be once he learned she failed.
Tonks exhaled a shuddering breath and focused her vision straight in front of her, not wanting to think of what Mad-Eye Moody would say when she was reassigned and given an alternative assignment when Professor Lupin complained to the Headmaster about the despicable way she had treated him this evening.
The air was chilled as the beginning of autumn leaves softly rode the bitter breeze. Looking towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest, at the dark silhouette of the trees against the fading light of the sky, Tonks huffed in aggravation as she wiped her brow and looked at the Forest, that dark place of intrigue and mystery.
She moved on, slow and sure, along the narrow path through the Forest that would take her to the furthermost corner of the Black Lake, away from prying eyes. Or maybe not anymore. Nevertheless, she knew she wanted to move away from the nauseating stares those sixth and seventh year boys were giving her.
Distasteful, the lot of them, and horny as hell. Tonks let out a groan of anger, thinking just the idea made her insides revolt and coil, cursing herself of the obscurity and clutching at herself for warmth, wishing she'd brought a jacket.
Tonks knew she had to relish this part of the late afternoon, when it was warm, for this was rare and only lasted about a meal's time, and dinner would be over soon. Almost there. Her heart started thrumming as she reached the lake.
The way the tall dark oak trees swayed in the breeze as night slowly fell was a rather unsettling sight to behold, and Tonks couldn't bother repressing the cold chill of fear and…something else…that wafted its way down her spine and made her skin crawl. The young Auror had been about to take a step forward, when a chittering squeak and what sounded like the snarling hiss of a cat reached her ears.
"I need to—oh, excuse me!" a young girl's voice squeaked, causing Tonks to swerve her head around as she heard the much younger voice coming from behind her, and was practically barreled over as a brunette, Hermione Granger, Tonks thought if memory served her correctly, having seen her with the youngest Weasley boy and Harry Potter in the hallways of Hogwarts in between their class periods, skidded to a stop and almost bowled poor Tonks over the moment an abnormally large, tattered looking brown rat let out a terrified squeak and cowered underneath Tonks' skirts of her black dress, behind her boots, utterly petrified of the ugly orange cat that was chasing it that looked more part Kneazle than a cat.
Tonks blinked, staring at it, thinking she'd never seen a more hideous creature, hoping her revulsion wasn't evident in her pale gray orbs or the way she scrunched her nose in disgust as she took in the sight of the haggard looking cat.
The huge orange cat that let out an angry, snarling hiss as the Granger girl scooped up the hideous creature and coddled it in her arms, speaking to it in babying tones as a mother would to an infant, was a somewhat amusing sight.
The cat's orange fur was dull and thin, unwashed, and bare. The bony edges of his ribcage protruded from his chest, as his frame seemed to nestle into his owner's arms as he shot what Tonks could only perceive as a withering look towards the young witch as she was drawn to the chittering squeaks of the rat.
Hermione bit down on her bottom lip as she watched the older woman kneel to the ground and scoop up the rat, cradling it gently against her elbow.
"Is this your rat?" Tonks asked the thirteen-year-old girl, quirking a delicately shaped brow your way. When Hermione nodded, a disgruntled look on her face, Tonks let out a sigh and held out the rat to Harry Potter's friend, much to the cat's displeasure who let out a hiss. "You'll want to mind him better, then if he is. He's not looking so good," Tonks murmured, tapping her chin.
This much was true. The poor creature was missing chunks of his fur, as though chewing them off in agitation, and if Tonks squinted her eyes close enough, she swore she saw the brown garden rat's ribcage, as if it weren't eating.
It looked to the young Auror as she shifted the common garden rat in her palms, feeling the creature's weight in her hands, that one good puff of wind would blow him over and keel him right in. She doubted he'd live another year.
Hermione inclined her head as a show of respect, or perhaps it was out of embarrassment at letting the rat escape her grasp as she moved to take the rat.
"Thank you. He's my friend Ron's rat, S—Scabbers. M—my cat, Crookshanks, h—he likes to chase the—the rat for fun," Hermione mumbled, panting and gasping her sound, wheezing for breath, winded, having run Merlin knew how far to try to catch her cat in pursuit of her friend's garden rat, sounding thoroughly put off, shifting the rat under her arm, and her pet cat in the left. "Thank you for grabbing him. I—I don't know what would have happened if I'd lost him," she murmured, a light pink blush speckling along her pale cheeks.
Tonks merely proceeded to shrug her shoulders and shake her head slightly, as if to silently convey to the bright young witch that it was no problem at all and said as much. "I was happy to help you grab him. Tell your friend Ron to be a little more careful with his pets next time," she sighed. "Excuse me," she mumbled, turning away from the third-year Gryffindor on the heel of her black boot and had been about to head towards the Black Lake when the girl spoke up.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Hermione Granger breathed in an awestruck voice.
Tonks turned her head and regarded Harry Potter's third best friend in silence, thinking the young witch had a lovely sort of face, but spying, in a way.
She made no immediately reply, and Granger took that as her cue to continue. "Must've been beautiful some time ago," she murmured, gesturing towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest, casting a skittish glance to the trees.
"It wasn't," Tonks heard herself, thinking of the many escapades and adventures that she and Charlie and Ollie had ventured into the Forest when they were Hogwarts students, and had spent many a night in detention for, and didn't stop. She looked at the forest twice before swiveling her head back to Hermione.
Tonks squeezed her eyes shut and ground her teeth as visions of Ollie's face flitted in the forefront of her mind. No. She could not—would not—think of him. "For me, at least. But things change when you see worse, Miss Granger. And then you go back to what you once thought was ugly and find them beautiful."
The thirteen-year-old breathed out a nervous chuckle, what Tonks guessed was supposed to be laughter, and Tonks wasn't exactly impressed with Granger. Tonks found it rather unpleasant for another witch to have discovered her here in her own little secret place of solitude during her new appointment as a guard to the school. She suspected the girl had followed her to ask about Sirius.
"Or maybe it's still ugly," said Hermione, tapping her chin in thought before lowering her hand to scratch her pet cat, Crookshanks' ear, "only now you think it's beautiful because you still haven't seen the worst." There was a beat, a pause.
Tonks hesitated, her head inclined as she folded her arms across her chest, already knowing the girl's name in passing from one of the Hogwarts Professors.
But still, it was proper edict to introduce oneself when you met someone new, and though she wanted knowing more than to be left alone, she'd comply.
Tonks bit the wall of her cheek as she gave the thirteen-year-old brunette Gryffindor a once over. She seemed kind enough, she supposed. "I—I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," Tonks mumbled, feigning ignorance of her name, as if she did not already know via the whispers in the hallway who the girl was.
Hermione's face flushed a light pale pink, both cat and rat tucked in each arm as she offered the older woman a quick smile and looked down at the ground beneath their feet. "I'm Hermione, Auror Tonks. I'm…Harry Potter's friend."
Tonks nodded, her mouth opening slightly in enlightenment but kept her voice to herself, offering another incline of her head to show that she had heard.
"I know Harry. Ah, well, I—I mean, I know of him," she corrected, a light pink blush speckling along her cheeks, cursing herself as she was starting to sound like a babbling idiot again, a bad quirk of hers that Moody scolded her for. Desperate to distract herself and steer the conversation away from James and Lily Potter's son, Tonks blinked and met the young brunette's gaze once more. "You know my name?" Tonks asked, wanting nothing more than to regain her sweet, silent solitude, though saw no reason to be rude to the third-year Gryffindor girl.
Almost immediately, the older witch cursed herself for asking such a question and ground her teeth in annoyance and ducked her head so the third year Gryffindor girl wouldn't see her blush. Of course, she would know who she was! Tonks had made it a habit of patrolling the entire first floor of the castle, occasionally pointing a few lost first years in the directions they needed to go and had presumably heard the Hogwarts teachers mention Tonks's name in passing.
If it was at all possible, Hermione Granger's blush deepened. "Ah, w—well I heard some of the professors talking about you in the hallway, Miss Tonks…"
Silence fell between the pair of girls and Tonks could feel the tension and awkwardness in this was how Hermione Granger, the 'Chosen One's' best friend saw her. Tonks silently bristled, wondering if the teachers were gossiping about her natural aptitude for clumsiness and more importantly, the nature of her relationship with Professor Lupin. And she was quick to decide she didn't like it.
Her eyes, a glistening dark brown, which briefly reminded Tonks of Lupin's eyes, albeit darker, were masked with a smile, but there was something within the inquisitive, and somewhat nosy Gryffindor's eyes that unnerved Tonks a bit.
Tonks, out of the corner of her eye, swore she saw a tightening of Hermione Granger's jaw, which she thought rather unfounded, considering she'd done nothing to warrant the younger witch disliking her, or so Tonks had believed.
Either way, Tonks found herself swallowing down past a lump in her throat.
"Ah, w—well, I—I'd better get going," Hermione mumbled, sensing the dawning anger in Tonks's face as her mind processed her words, turning her head to the side to cough as she seemingly reluctantly pulled herself out of the staring contest. Tonks felt the fine hairs prickle on the back of her neck, feeling as though this Granger girl knew more about Tonks than she was letting on, but was remaining mum about the situation for now. She'd have to watch this one…
Hermione Granger slowly turned her back towards the older witch, her cat, Crookshanks, tucked under one arm, and the Weasley boy's pet rat, Scabbers, in the other, though she stopped as she trudged up the hill that led towards Hagrid's.
"Miss Tonks? I almost forgot something." There was a beat. A pause. Tonks waited. She perceived the hesitations on the young Gryffindor student's part, as if Hermione Granger never actually meant to convey her final intended message.
Instead, the Granger girl swiveled at the waist and locked gazes with Tonks one last time, the corners of her lips twitching as she fought back a kind smile.
"Professor Lupin is lucky to have you as his partner. I—I know it isn't my business, b—but I heard Madame Pince discussing it in the library earlier with Professor Dumbledore, Auror Tonks," she began hastily and hesitantly, biting down on her bottom lip as she noticed Tonks's already pale face drain of all colors, a look of shock and outrage dawning on her heart-shaped face as once again, Tonks was met with the knowledge that the Hogwarts professors had nothing better to do than gossip about her and Remus John Lupin behind her back, "but from what I can tell of him in class, h—he is very gentle a—and a kind man. He's lucky to have you. I think he's quite lonely, you know, but you'd know, considering you're his partner. I hope that you can help capture Sirius Black."
Tonks felt her jaw drop open in shock and had nothing to do but watch as Harry Potter's best friend shot her a shy, awkward little half-smile as best she could and shifted the weight of Crookshanks and Scabbers under both her arms.
She quirked a brow at Granger's way as the younger witch turned her back to Tonks and marched her way back up towards the castle given night was coming and it wouldn't do to be caught out on the Hogwarts Grounds after dark.
Without any kind of seconds thoughts, she pushed aside Hermione Granger in her mind. Tonks, while she was stationed here at Hogwarts, had no interest in making friends anymore, not after the heartbreak and emotional blow that Ollie had dealt her by ripping her heart out into two and as good as cleaving it, then.
Gaining back her solitude felt like a precious victory, Tonks thought bitterly as she faced forward to the edge of the Black Lake as a light autumnal breeze kissed her hair off her shoulders and flushed her cheeks pink with high rosy color.
Tonks let out a haggard sigh and moved to the edge of the Black Lake's shores, to the spot where she fondly remembered her and Ollie spending a wonderful spring evening under the stars, with Brennan showing her the constellations, pointing out the ones she didn't already know, telling her the myths behind the stars. The lake in front of Tonks loomed in an almost dark and daring crystal, beckoning her to come forward, to take a little forbidden swim.
The young witch knelt to a crouch and she held out her hand, allowing the tips of her fingers to gently touch the water and made more ripples out of nowhere.
Just like magic. Tonks stifled a small smile. Perhaps the ripples were like beauty, fame, riches, or power. For a fleeting moment, it grows, then it's gone. Just like love, Tonks thought bitterly. The touch of it though, was delish.
Tonks bit the wall of her cheek as she shot a quick glance to her left and right, stripping herself of the black cape covered over her black dress meant to protect her from the wandering eyes of all of those hormone fueled teenage boys.
Her cloak crumpled at the edge of the lakebed and without any second thoughts, before she lost her nerve, she stripped herself of her dress, pulling her boots and socks off, until she was in just her undergarments, slowly feeding her feet into the frigid cold water.
She let out a hiss at how bleeding freezing the water was, but she enjoyed the ice-cold sensation nonetheless at it numbed her brain and made her forget her conflicting of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, everything. The water was exhilarating. Being engulfed in the middle of the Black Lake as she swam out to the middle of the body of water, not fearing the Giant Squid, reminded Tonks of happier times in her life when she smiled a little more.
Tonks stretched out her arms, surrendering her body to the whims and mercy of the Black Lake, looking up to the night sky at the clouds above her head, her lips slightly parted, her dark pink pixie cut clinging to her forehead. She was a siren of the Black Lake, albeit she made a better water nymph than the ones that actually dealt below the Black Lake's surface deep in the depths.
Her thoughts plastered as quiet vibrations underneath her skin, making it crawl as her mind once again drifted to thoughts of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Her face began to immerse underwater as her consciousness started to falter when the very water of the lake began to feel like hands crawling on her skin.
The sensation both unnerved her and calmed her, and Tonks allowed her mind to drift to thoughts of Professor Lupin. How kind he had been to her, and how she had hurt him. How the man's light brown eyes were inky pools that reflected a lifetime of sorrow and hurt and confusion, no doubt not only from a hard life of being a werewolf, but with the knowledge your best friends was a murderer. She shivered as a cold chill wafted down her spine. But not from cold.
Tonks's pale gray orbs remained steady and fixated on the Forest in front of her, the view distorted by the water and a few strands of her floating pink hair.
For some reason, she could not shake the feeling as though she were being watched. Furrowing her brows into a suspicious frown, she thought of Sirius.
Sirius Black. Sirius. Seriously Sirius. My own bloody cousin, the murderer.
The name irked Tonks, and what was even more troublesome was she had no idea how to broach the topic with Remus, and for a moment she almost saw the man himself looming above her, standing on top of a nearby boulder, watching her silent swim, his towering, lean and lanky silhouette unmistakable against the tree line. She swore it was him.
Yes, it was her cousin, phantasm or not against the darkening edge of the Forbidden Forest, his wild, disheveled dark curly hair. His haggard striped prison uniform, tattered robes, his smoldering fathomless look of rage evident in his eyes. It seemed so…so concrete, so bloody really real.
Tonks's brows began to come together as she wondered how this phantasm of her overactive imagination could be so real. And then the man's head inclined.
Burning. Smoldering. Fathomless. Antagonizing. Pale gray orbs just like hers boring stray through her, piercing her soul. His lips parting open slightly to speak.
SIRIUS! Tonks felt her jaw drop open in shock and anger as she bolted out of the Black Lake's water like a lightening bolt. Her head swiveled to the left and right in utter panic, turning to every corner of the edge of the Forbidden Forest and the lake.
Nothing. Not a damn thing. Her cousin wasn't here. There was nothing and no one. Just her. The boulder he had been standing on moments ago was now empty, and the young witch was just as alone as she'd been when she came.
A cold chill wafted down her spine that had nothing to do with the dropping temperatures as night fell upon Hogwarts and her grounds, and everything to do with her nerves. "Bloody hell," she swore under her breath through gritted teeth.
She could hear herself breathing and see the cold steam crawling out of her pale skin. The ice in the air stung and she covered her chest as she walked to the discarded pile where she'd stripped herself of her dress, cloak and her socks and boots.
Tonks swore she felt multiple eyes boring through every corner and crack of the Forbidden Forest, this dark place. Quickly, the young Auror dressed, not giving a damn if her boots were properly laced or if her cloak was fastened right.
Nymphadora Tonks fled the Black Lake in a wild state of disarray, her wavy hair dripping wet, horror following and nipping at her heels as she ground her teeth. Sirius Black had somehow been spying on her, the perverted murderous creep. She was smart enough to look back, though as she fled to the castle with intent to tell Professor Dumbledore what had—no. Wait. She—she couldn't.
How the hell was she to tell the Hogwarts Headmaster she'd gone for a swim in the Black Lake, sans her clothing, and she'd caught her cousin spying on her?
No. He wouldn't believe her. She—she couldn't tell the man the bloody truth. Tonks heaved an exasperated groan as she shrugged into her cloak for warmth and realized with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was still carrying Madame Pince's now ruined book that she had accidentally stolen from the library.
"Hell," she swore again. "Pince is going to bloody murder me for this," she moaned, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as she stomped up to the castle. Though something gave her pause. Something she had quite forgotten about. "Remus," Tonks murmured through clenched teeth as she looked towards the castle, thinking that somewhere in the massive estate, her partner lingered, probably searching for her if she had to hazard a guess after their misunderstanding. Maybe the man would believe her words if Albus wouldn't.
At the very least, she was sure she could count on the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor to keep her secret but then doubt, that demon crept into her mind. Would Remus Lupin even believe her, or would he, like the other older adults here in the castle, merely tell her it was a phantasm of her own mind?
And what would he have to say about the fact that she had essentially stripped herself of her clothing and gone for a forbidden swim in the Black Lake?
Tonks groaned and almost violently wrenched open the front double doors to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, having concluded that this was yet another secret that she had to keep from her brand new partner, like it or not.
The young witch was smart enough not to look back behind her as she stepped foot inside the castle and let the double doors slam shut behind with a bang, resonating in their hinges so hard that they creaked and almost rattled.
She wondered if Hermione Granger was right. This place, the Forbidden Forest, where she suspected now that she had bloody seen him with her own two eyes, where Sirius Black was hiding out, of this, she was sure, had never once been beautiful.
It had always been ugly. As Tonks strode up towards the Grand Staircase, ignoring the questioning looks and wandering eyes of the teachers and students as to the nature of her wet short hair and the mud trailing from her boots, Tonks started to fear for the very worst.
A/N: I promise my version of Sirius isn't a creep! LOL. He was just following the scent of Wormtail/Peter and didn't expect to see a young woman swimming in the Black Lake and, well, it made sense in my head when I wrote it.
The next chapter flits back to our favorite werewolf and Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor as he continues to explore his feelings for his new partner and slight warning ahead for a slightly more ah, 'wolfish' aspect of his personality in the next chapter, and I won't say anything more, lest I spoil the plot for myself and you, my lovely readers!
The only tidbit I will give is he has a nice conversation with his old Head of House, a much-needed conversation with McGonagall!
I hope that you enjoy it! Stay tuned! :)