NCIS

"Riley! Please wait!" Tim called as he rushed out of the bedroom after Riley while trying to get a leg into his boxers.

Riley had already made it downstairs and was putting on his clothes from the piles on the floor.

Tim reached the bottom of the stairs but Riley wouldn't look at him. "I'm sorry. Please, let me explain."

"No," Riley stopped him flatly. "Not here. Just get your stuff and get in the truck. We're going back."

"It's not what you think-"

"STOP!" Riley shouted. His eyes were wide, but his brow was not curled with anger. "I'm not doing this with you. Not here, not again." He looked only at the floor like he was afraid to look at anything else and stormed away into the garage.

Tim watched confoundedly and whispered to himself, "Again?"

His guilty conscience twisted inside him. He remembered Riley saying that the last person he brought back to the cabin left him crushed after the break-up, and that it was hard coming back to his own house because of it. He felt horrible about saying Gibbs' name, and worse that it was in Riley's safe haven. If Riley was taking them back, Tim knew it was because he didn't want to remember breaking up with him at the house. He buried his head in his hands as his heart ached, both for himself and for Riley knowing what he had done. He had to explain what happened, that he was over Gibbs but that he had planned for so long that Gibbs would be the first man to top him, that it all came spilling out and wasn't how he felt. He didn't want it to be the end.

He quickly rushed through the house, haphazardly packing his clothes but gently packing his typewriter. He walked quietly out to the garage where he saw Riley standing outside in the torrential rain in his t-shirt and jeans, leaving his leather jacket on the hood of the garaged truck. His fists were clenched and he breathed deeply and slowly. Tim gulped and slowly loaded his stuff into the truck's back seat, then sat in the front seat waiting for Riley.

Once he heard Tim close the door, Riley turned around and briefly glanced at Tim before walking back into the garage. He swiped off some of the excess water from his skin and hair and then grabbed his coat but simply threw it into the truck. Without a word he got in the driver's seat, took a deep breath, started the engine, and drove them away from the house. The silence between them was deafening. Tim could tell that even though his walls were up and his face was rigidly expressionless, Riley was still incredibly upset. He could just barely hear Riley trying to hide the deep breaths he was continually taking, but it wasn't quite enough. After only ten minutes Riley flipped on the radio, but Tim immediately shut it off.

"Riley, I'm so sorry. Please, talk to me."

Riley breathed shakily and adjusted his tight grip on the wheel. He remained silent.

Tim's nerves started churning under his skin. He didn't want to spend two hours in total and frigid silence when there was a lot to work out. When he looked closely at Riley, he almost thought he saw panic more than anger. "We need to talk."

Silence.

"Ok, fine, I know you're upset, but please at least listen," Tim pleaded. "I'm so sorry I said 'Gibbs.' It was an accident. He was the one I told you about, that I had feelings for. I wanted him for so long and I was so lonely that I thought he wanted me too, the way he acted around me and did things. I thought he would be the first to take me. But he didn't. I'm over him. I love y-"

Riley's stoic expression dropped to a frown and he interrupted with a spiteful hiss, "You said 'I love you too, Gibbs.' You didn't just say his name. I couldn't care less if you called me Oprah while I was fucking you, that'd have been weird but funny. But you said you love him. Don't just say you had feelings for him; you were in lovewith him and you still you were actually over him, you wouldn't have said it and you would've told me the whole truth a long time ago. You lied to me."

"I'm not in love with him," Tim defended. "I was before, I admit, even when you and I met. But being with you and falling in love with you, it- it-" he started sputtering as he tried to untangle his thoughts, "It just made me realize it wasn't real! It was a fantasy, it never happened."

Riley paused and narrowed his eyes, then chuckled. "Wasn't real," he quietly repeated and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Had I known it was Gibbs, I never would've let things go this far. It's not the first time I've heard that."

Tim frowned and looked at him with surprise at his reaction. "What?"

The other man inhaled like he was about to say something, then stopped and shook his head. The noise of the rain on the car and the spray from the road seemed to amplify the silence between them.

Tim noticed, and he felt afraid but needed to hear what Riley was thinking. "Say it. Whatever you're thinking or feeling, say it. We both agreed, no more secrets."

"Yeah, like you really stuck to that one?" Riley retorted cuttingly, but with less anger in his voice.

The comment's sting dug harshly into Tim's gut, and he backed uncomfortably further back into his seat. He might have imagined Riley's eyes shut regretfully for a quick moment, but he knew for certain there was more to the story. "What is it, Riley? You keep talking like we've done this before. Back at the cabin, you said 'again,' and even now… Did… did someone do this same thing to you before? Why does it matter that it was Gibbs?"

Riley thought tensely for a moment, and finally he replied, "It didn't just happen to me, it also was me. I was in love with him once too."

Tim's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. It suddenly started to make sense why Riley was so upset. It wasn't just any other man Tim said he loved; it was someone that Riley once loved too.

He then remembered what Abby told him, 'But he definitely has some secrets and things bottled up, and he's very good at keeping them that way. It's like… I don't know if what I think I know is true, and I can't talk about it or even about why I can't talk about it.'

Tim realized that she suspected Riley had feelings for Gibbs when they worked together, and that she couldn't tell anyone just like Tim couldn't tell anyone about his feelings either. They both involved implicating their superior of breaking protocol. He suddenly saw the rest of the car ride and the relationship looking extremely bleak.

Riley continued, "I have been here before. It was a long time ago. And for a while after, no one I dated was able to measure up to the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the man I idolized. So I was alone and miserable until I finally stopped wondering 'what if' and moved on."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tim quietly asked.

Riley scoffed, "Why didn't you tell me? For me it was ancient history. Irrelevant, over, done with, it didn't matter anymore. You… This only just happened. And I couldn't tell you because I… you know what? If you really want to know why, go ask him yourself. You two need to talk anyway. Until then I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Tim felt the wind get knocked out of him as Riley said the words. He knew it had to be on Riley's mind but hoped he could avoid it. He sat there silently staring at the other man, heart painfully throbbing, lump rising in his neck, and tears welling in his eyes. "Don't say that. Riley, I'm so sorry, but don't throw this away. I truly love you and want only you. I already talked to Gibbs about it when you and I got serious and he said he never felt the same for me. Since then, I promise, it's been over. I will fix this. I'll do whatever I have to."

Riley shook his head, no longer seeming angry or panicked but clearly conflicted. "Whether he felt the same for you or not, it was real enough to you to fall in love with him. You need more time to be over him, believe me, and I won't be a second-place trophy just because he is unavailable."

"Riley-"

"No," Riley firmly silenced him.

Tim silently leaned his head against the window and looked out of it for the rest of the drive. Sheets of rain streaked across the window and the white noise of the rain was the only other sound he could hear. He knew he didn't deserve Riley's forgiveness, nor how he could even ask for it again. Lost in his thoughts and miserably angry at himself, the rest of the drive went wordlessly on for an eternity until he recognized his apartment building. He could barely move when Riley parked the truck. He was afraid that if he stepped out, it would be the last time he'd see Riley again.

"Please," Tim begged. "Don't let this be the end."

Riley shut his eyes and his body quaked, like he too was holding back pain but also rage. "I can't do this, Tim. All this just reminds me of every painful moment I went through, and I won't do it again. More than that, you told me you loved me and then immediately withheld the whole truth to me about your feelings for someone else. So even if you didn't work with him every day, even if nothing really happened and it really was all in your head, all this and everything I already know just reminds me that there's no competing with Gibbs."

Tim put his hand on Riley's arm. "There is no competition, there's nothing between us. Please believe me, it's over."

Riley trembled and pulled his arm away. His eyes clamped shut as he whispered, "I want to. I really do. But like I said, I've been where you are now, so I know it's not over. Not yet. Please, go."

Tim's stomach twisted and his head felt like he'd been struck by a car. His eyes watered, but he slowly opened the truck door to the rain, took his things from the back seat, and gave Riley one last tortured look before closing the door. He knew he was over Gibbs, and that whatever happened was just a memory resurfacing. He was angry at himself and knew Riley had a right to be angry at him.

Riley didn't immediately pull away, but when he started reversing the truck every fiber of Tim's being screamed to run after him. But he knew Riley needed space, and he himself was still dumbstruck by all that just happened. His mind played the conversation over and over.

'I could tell Riley, but he couldn't tell me. I was in love with Gibbs, and so was Riley, but what was so different that he couldn't-"

The horror of the realization nearly brought Tim to his knees, both for what it meant to him and what terrible pain he had inflicted on Riley.

'Gibbs loved Riley too, and they broke the rules to be together. And I called out Gibbs' name to Riley.'

The rain soaked through him as the pieces continued connecting painfully in his mind, cementing his feet to the ground as Riley drove away.

NCIS

Abby's head bounced to the loud music in her headphones while she thumbed through Deep Six. She wasn't overly fond of the book, but talking about it at work with Tim made her curious about how he could possibly reconnect McGregor and Amy. She stretched across her couch as she skimmed through the pages, looking only for parts where the two characters were involved, but still was having trouble agreeing with Tim's idea. A flashing red light on her home phone alerted her to an incoming call, and the ID showed the number from her bowling nuns' church. It was far too late for a normal call, which alarmed Abby, so she quickly pulled out her headphones and swiped up the phone.

"Hello?"

An older woman's soft but tired voice replied, "Hello Abby, it's Sister Rosita."

"Is everything okay?" she asked urgently.

"Oh yes dear, we're fine. I'm sorry to call so late, but someone called us looking for you, something about your cell phone not working?"

Abby eyed her cell phone suspiciously as it showed no missed calls. "Who was it?"

"She said she's your boss, that Ms. Shepard, and she needs your help. Apparently someone vandalized your friend's headstone at the cemetery, I think she said it was for Katie?"

"Kate?!" Abby's eyes widened and she jumped up from the couch. "Oh my god, no!"

"Ah, yes, that's it. Sorry, it's very late and I'm not fully awake."

Abby was already slipping into a pair of boots and rummaging in her purse for her keys. "No, no, thank you! I gotta run."

She threw the phone back towards the couch as she bounded out of the apartment with rage in her eyes. It was bad enough remembering that her friend was dead, but no one would desecrate Caitlin Todd's grave and live to talk about it while Abby was alive. She blazed through the rain to the cemetery in Arlington, nearly hydroplaning three times on the way. She sprinted through the rain to the grave where she saw someone already standing there in a black trench coat and holding a black umbrella. She was surprised that no one else was there and that there were no lights surrounding the grave to show the disturbance. Her footsteps squished on the soggy ground as she slowed, and she saw the serious face of Director Shepard become partly illuminated by a far-away parking light.

"Director!" Abby called. "What happened?"

Shepard quickly put a finger to her mouth to tell Abby to be quiet. Abby's face contorted with confusion as she neared the grave and found the headstone to be untouched. With the rage leaving her system, she became more aware of the cold, pouring rain thudding against her umbrella.

Shepard quietly explained, "I needed to get you here quickly, I'm sorry if it's late."

Abby frowned and stepped closer, almost bumping their umbrellas together. "I… okay, what's going on?"

"Did you bring your cell phone?" Shepard whispered.

"Yeah, why?"

"Take the battery out," the Director ordered.

A chill when up Abby's spine as she realized where the conversation might be heading. Her hand slightly shook with nervousness as she removed the back of her phone and pulled out the battery. "Okay," she replied.

Shepard turned to face her with a focused and determined look. "I'm faced with a very difficult decision, and I need to ask you to do something that will not be easy. Everything we discuss here is off-record and stays between us."

Abby trembled and nodded, but looked curiously at the headstone. "Why here?"

Shepard paused and also looked at Kate's grave. "I should've come up with an inspirational excuse, but the truth is that it was away from prying eyes and I knew you'd get here fast. After our conversation a month ago, I started digging further into OMNI." Shepard glanced over at Abby, studying her for any reaction. "I've secured a position as a buyer for a new computer virus they've developed. It's an advanced tracking program that can locate any cell phone, computer, or GPS tied to an individual."

Every muscle in Abby's body tensed. "You… you've been in contact with them?"

Shepard nodded. "They told me they positioned their people in companies all over the world to accomplish this, and all they need to track someone now is a phone number or even a name, and the virus follows them all over the world reporting their location."

"Riley was right, that's what they're up to… Wh-why would they tell you all that?" Abby stammered. "And… why are you telling me?"

"Because they want at least $300 Million for it, and they are auctioning it off in a matter of weeks. We need to get this virus off the market and figure out how to purge it from the world's electronics." Shepard's gaze faltered to the ground for a moment. "Money isn't all they want. Before they'll let us into the auction, they're planning a test using a randomly selected target. As part of vetting the buyers, they want the us each to volunteer a possible target."

Abby's eyes widened and her jaw quivered. "They want you to choose someone to be killed?"

Shepard nodded. "As you can imagine, our list of terrorists we want dead is fairly large, but it's also their client list, so we can't use one of them. They want someone from within, an agent. The deadline is coming up quickly for me to choose someone. I'm telling you this because you're the only one who knows how to successfully hide from OMNI without my help."

A whimper escaped Abby's throat. "You're choosing me. You can't do this, this is horrible! It's illegal! This- This is like a human sacrifice but not even cool!"

"Abby, look at me," Shepard ordered quietly. "This is crucial to us catching OMNI. It cannot look like I've helped you in any way, or that you have any knowledge of what's going on. In a few days, you will go on a short vacation using whatever excuse will work. You will leave your personal phone and any other electronic device behind except for a satellite phone that I will give you. Only I will know the number, and you will lay low for a few days until I call you. I have several agents in our Cyber Crimes division ready to trace the upload of the test so we can catch these people, and then it will all be over."

"Gibbs would be better," Abby replied as her body shook and tears welled. "He never uses his phone and he's a trained marine sniper. He'd have a better chance."

Shepard's lips curled up, though only momentarily at the thought of Gibbs taking out a whole hit squad. "Too good a chance, and too easily recognized by whoever else may be watching. I'm sorry, Abby, but you're our only hope of making this work."

"Not even Ziva?" Abby pleaded.

"Abby," Shepard reassured her, "you'll be fine. I've trusted you since you told me of your OMNI history, now you need to trust that I know how to fish without losing the bait. I put Tony right next to an arm's dealer and he made it back without a scratch."

Abby's grip on her umbrella tightened further. "We thought he died in a car bomb," she replied flatly. "Just thought I'd mention that."

"You'll have the satellite phone," Shepard repeated. "If they choose you, I'll know. I'll make sure you get away even if that exposes me. You have my word."

They stared at Kate's grave in silence as they each pondered the task ahead.

NCIS

Gibbs paused sanding one of the outer planks of the boat to take a sip of beer. He was glad to have the whole day to get this part of the boat ready for its first paint job, but he figured that would wait until Sunday afternoon. He didn't need a storm to keep him inside, though he wouldn't have minded being able to tend to a dry lawn. He'd heard the sound of a car hastily pulling into the driveway and even its door being forcefully closed, but so far no one entered the house. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it since it was close to 10 PM, but he had his pistol just an arm's reach away at the workbench just in case. He resumed sanding the boat, but finally heard the front door open and slam shut.

'Well whoever it is doesn't mind being heard, that's for sure,' He thought to himself. 'Wonder who I pissed off this time.'

He waited and looked expectantly at the door at the top of the stairs, then was surprised to see Riley rounding the doorway, completely drenched from standing in the downpour and panting heavily.

Gibbs smirked and called up to him, "I will never understand why you like to stand in the rain."

Riley curtly replied, "It usually relaxes me."

Gibbs frowned and watched Riley descend the stairs. Riley paused halfway down exactly as Gibbs expected, loosened his fist revealing a large pocketknife, opened it, then after a few deep breaths he unleashed a rage-fueled yell and hurtled the knife towards the opposite wall. The blade sank entirely to its hilt in the wall nearly two feet from its usual target, the wooden column. Gibbs looked with uncertainty between the knife and its owner, then warily walked to the workbench and poured two small glasses of scotch. He'd seen this look before and the old habit of wanting to take the man into his arms tugged at him, but time had made him more resistant to those urges.

He pushed a glass towards Riley and instructed, "Drink, breathe, then talk."

Riley glared menacingly at Gibbs, and Gibbs matched the stare but softly and with concern. He nodded again to the drink, which Riley finally marched to the workbench to claim. Gibbs' eyes stayed focused on the younger man as he downed the scotch like it was a shot, then snatched Gibbs' glass out of his hand and repeated the action. Gibbs hadn't been heavy-handed with his pour but he put more than a double-shot's worth in each glass.

Gibbs exhaled and set both empty glasses on the workbench. "So, it's that kind of day, is it? What happened?"

Riley breathed deeply as he was told, then he turned to squarely face Gibbs with a frown. "You happened, Jethro."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows with confusion.

"Tim told me something very interesting tonight," Riley continued. "But I need to hear it from you. I need you to tell me that you didn't know that he was in love with you until he told you."

Gibbs frowned again and leaned on the workbench. "I didn't know he was in love with me, but… I knew he was feeling something."

Riley nodded. "And what about you?"

"Riley-"

"Don't 'Riley' me, Jethro!" he yelled.

"Hey!" Gibbs called over him chidingly.

Riley stood closely and stared up into Gibbs' eyes, studying them. "You lied to him, didn't you? I know you."

Gibbs turned away with a huff and walked back to the boat, feeling flustered. "What else was I supposed to do? I wasn't going to make the same mistakes I made with you."

"So you made a different one?" Riley called scornfully as he followed Gibbs. "He's a good person and he's out there right now thinking that he dreamed up all the things you did that made him fall in love with you! That is cruel, Gibbs."

"As cruel as letting him throw away his career?!" Gibbs retorted. "He is a good person and he's a damn good agent, and I wasn't going to ruin that just because I wanted him. Once he started showing interest in you, I backed off so you two could be happy."

"Oh, gee, thanks," Riley scoffed, his fury still burning. "Well even if he's not fully in love with you anymore, his feelings are still unresolved thanks to you. You can start doting on him again."

Gibbs shut his eyes and sighed disappointedly. "You broke up with him?"

"Yeah. Yeah I did," Riley answered and clenched his fists again, trying shakily to keep composure. Then a quick, hysterical laugh escaped his lips. "You- you know the worst part? I don't even get to be mad. I want to be so angry at him for what happened, but I can't because I was in the same position and did the same things, the same little lies, and I can't even tell him what happened with us because it was our well-known little secret. But I can be really fucking pissed at you because now I know how it all started."

Gibbs tepidly looked over at him. "What did he do?"

Riley grimaced. "He told me before he had feelings for someone, but he didn't say he loved them and didn't tell me it was you. The real cherry on top was finding out a few hours ago because he said he loves you while we were having sex."

Gibbs grunted, "Dammit." He stared thoughtfully at the boat while they both stood in a moment of silence.

"You have to tell him the truth, Jethro," Riley prodded. "About you, about us, everything. I'm done letting lies and secrets screw me over."

Gibbs sighed and gave him an unhappy look.

Riley scolded him, "Oh, don't even think of giving me thatlook. I didn't tell him because I promised you that I wouldn't, but you're the only one who wanted it to be a secret." He sauntered back to the workbench and poured a smaller splash of scotch back into his glass.

"It's not just my rules," Gibbs argued. "I'm his superior. I know this is my fault, but he'll think we can make it work because you and I did for a while. I don't want to drive him away like I did to you."

The glass was barely to Riley's lips when he slammed it back on the workbench and shouted, "THEN MAKE IT WORK, JETHRO! I didn't just let go of the man I love for you to not even see your side of it through. Tim is not me. He doesn't have baggage like I did, and he's obviously patient enough to have stuck with you this far. Stop hiding down here waiting for him and GO GET HIM if you want him so fucking bad! But I swear if you keep him in the dark and still make him get his hands dirty for you, I will never forgive you for it. Don't you dare."

Gibbs could see the seriousness in Riley's eyes, but the rage and the alcohol weren't helping the conversation. He slowly stepped towards Riley and quietly began, "Look, it's been a rough night for you. Go upstairs and take a shower, then sleep it off in the spare bedroom. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"No," Riley quickly answered and backed away towards the stairs. "No, no, I'm going home."

Gibbs rushed to him. "Don't run away from this, Riley. Not again. I don't believe for a second that Tim doesn't love you, and you just said you still love him. You can make it work with him."

Riley stared up at him and nodded. "Being loved was never my problem, it was being enough. He… both of you made me feel like I was. And then I wasn't. I just can't do it again. You tell him the truth, Jethro, and he'll make his choice." He pulled away and ran up the stairs, letting the front door close itself behind him.

Gibbs sprinted up the stairs after him and followed him in his own truck. He knew Riley wouldn't listen to him or let him drive home, but he needed to at least make sure that Riley made it home safe. After seeing Riley enter his building, Gibbs drove home and kept thinking of how he'd tell Tim the whole truth. That was one aspect of being the Team Leader that he hated, when personal issues got in the way. He was rarely the cause of the issue, but he recognized his own fault in letting things get so far with Tim. He hoped with all his might that Tim wouldn't leave NCIS or the team, and he had to figure out what he'd say in case Tim wanted to. Slinking back down to the basement, he saw Riley's pocketknife still sticking out of the wall. It was one of many that Gibbs had given him to practice throwing. He placed a hand on it, but decided to leave it stuck firmly in the wall as a reminder until he fixed things with the two men he cared for most.