This chapter is inspired by "What a Beautiful Mess I'm In" by Lorna Winters

Please check out her story!

Thank you Lorna for the inspiration and your kind suggestion!

ADVENTURER 003 - FORK IN THE ROAD

#FLASHBACK# ~ STARDATE 44769.4 ~

Simon plumped down onto the stool in Ten Forward. His shoulders visibly drooped and he just didn't have the incentive to raise his head. He knew he must appear like some sad and hopeless case, but at this moment in time he just didn't care.

He had just walked away from a pep talk with Captain Picard, who had tried to cheer him up after the whole soul-destroying interrogation he had endured the previous day. Although the interrogation was now over Simon felt its aftermath was much more detrimental. The Captain had meant well, but despite his kindness, Simon just didn't feel any better about himself right now - The Captain knew he had lied, and soon everyone else on board would too! How humiliating! How could he possibly stay on the Enterprise now?

He closed his eyes, but a sudden dull scraping noise made him open them again. A glass was being pushed slowly under his nose. The golden brown liquid within it smelled strong.

Simon looked up perplexed.

Guinan returned his gaze with an empathetic smile.

"It's a double brandy - none of that Synthehol nonsense - you look like you needed it" she said softly.

Simon smiled bravely at her warmness. Then his brow furrowed quickly once more.

"You have the whole universe on your shoulders I see - I know that feeling. It can be overwhelming."

Simon looked into her eyes, seeking solace. He liked Guinan very much. She always had words of wisdom to impart.

"Have you heard?" he asked uneasily.

"It's a small ship" Guinan pointed out.

Simon bowed his head in shame. "Then you know" he sighed.

"Well, I know you're innocent" Guinan declared.

Simon gulped. "I meant...the lie" he added red-faced.

"Ah...your Romulan heritage. So you're ashamed of who you are?" Guinan asked bluntly.

"No!" Simon objected, "...well...I suppose I was...."

"And now?"

Simon winced. "I'm not ashamed of who I am now...just what everyone thinks of me."

"Let me ask you Simon, can you change your heritage?" Guinan posed.

"No" Simon replied slowly, not fully understanding.

Guinan nodded. "Remember that - everytime anyone makes you feel ashamed. It will help you accept it."

Simon nodded pensively. Then his brow furrowed again. "But, the lie - I feel like I need to live the rest of my life making up for it" he despaired.

Guinan folded her arms and thought. "Tell me, is that how the Captain sees it?" she inquired.

"Well, no..." Simon replied slowly, "...he says, my work on the Enterprise has been exemplary. He says he can overlook it, that I've proved myself to him by my conduct."

Guinan smiled. She had a soft place in her heart for Captain Picard. For a man of his importance he seemed remarkably compassionate, always ready to extend mercy to those that needed it. She leaned on the counter purposefully, focusing her gaze. "Well, do you think that maybe you can be as kind to yourself as the Captain is?" she asked him slowly.

Simon opened his mouth to speak, but stopped to ponder her words - he couldn't deny Guinan's wisdom. He relaxed a little in that moment and allowed himself a half-smile. He looked down at the glass and began to play with it. "This smells good actually" he observed.

"Try it. You won't be disappointed."

Simon sipped the golden brown liquid. "Mmmh. Strong, but warming" he remarked.

"You wouldn't believe who gave it to me" she smiled.

"Who?" Simon quizzed, but Guinan just smiled enigmatically.

"The Captain wants me to stay," Simon began slowly, "but I've asked for a transfer...a fresh start might be good for me and I wouldn't have to explain myself to everyone who questioned me about the whole thing." He sighed. "But, I want to serve on a Starship and I'm not sure another Captain would commission me; they might not be as lenient as Captain Picard. I don't know what to do really." He looked up at Guinan, hoping for an answer.

"Well, you will never know unless you try" Guinan began. "But if you leave you the Enterprise you may regret it one day...Or, on the other hand, you may find that moving on is the best thing you've ever done...there's no rhyme or reason sometimes - and sometimes there is" she added as an afterthought. "What is it that you truly want Simon?" she asked with careful interest.

Simon thought. "I've always wanted adventure" he answered presently, "the excitement of travelling the stars and discovering new worlds and civilizations...and, to make a difference."

Guinan thought. "And don't you feel the Enterprise has given you those things?"

"In a way" Simon answered thoughtfully. "But, not fully."

Guinan gazed at him intently for a while, almost as if she was searching his soul. Then she suddenly frowned.

"What is it?" Simon asked worriedly, noting her expression.

Guinan looked away distractedly and began mopping the counter with a cloth.

"Guinan?"

"Take the transfer" she said seriously, almost under her breath.

"What? What did you say? The transfer?... Are you sure?"

"If you want my advice, well, there it is" she said, still preoccupied.

"But, do you think I will be accepted?" Simon queried.

"I do" she replied quickly.

Another crewman approached the bar then and Guinan walked over to serve him.

Simon frowned, a little confused. Why would she say that all of a sudden? He stared down at his drink and then took another sip. The second sip tasted nicer and the third, nicer still. Soon there was only the empty glass.

Guinan glanced across the room and watched Simon leave ten forward. She gave a sigh and nodded to herself.

...

#TWO WEEKS LATER#

Simon rushed into Ten Forward, his eyes glued on his PADD. He looked up saw Guinan at the other end of the bar.

"Guinan!" he called, walking over to her. "Guinan! I've got it! I've got a transfer!"

"Yes? That's wonderful Simon!" Guinan exclaimed stopping her work to face him.

"Yes I know! The Starship Adventurer! I can hardly wait!"

"Adventurer? Seems rather apt!" she smiled.

Simon chuckled. "Yes. Yes, I just can't believe it!"

"Like I said, no rhyme or reason sometimes" she grinned wryly.

"Thank you. Thanks for the advice" Simon beamed. "You're the best!"

Guinan smiled with satisfaction and produced a bottle of the brandy from below the counter. "Here. A parting gift" she said kindly.

"Are you sure? Thank you Guinan."

"Don't drink it all at once mind" she warned. "Savour it. Make it last. But mostly, enjoy it."

Simon took the bottle. "I'll save it - for special occasions" he promised. "And as I drink it, I'll remember your kindness."

Guinan put hand to her heart. "You will be missed, more than you know Simon" she smiled wistfully.

Simon smiled bravely, fighting back the tears. "Well...I must go. I haven't got long and I 've got to pack and say goodbye to Dr Crusher and a few others."

He stood gazing at his friend.

"Come here" she said, walking from behind the counter and taking him into her arms. "You make sure you take care of yourself. Promise me now? And you'll keep in touch?"

"I will" Simon promised, wiping his eyes.

He walked away with a heavy heart and his gift bottle of brandy. He gazed down at it in his hand and then stopped suddenly in the open doorway - the bottle had been gift-wrapped with a ribbon and a small card that read 'To Simon & to the Adventure!' Simon turned and gave Guinan one final glance. Had she known?

...