A/N: Difficult chapter. Could be emotionally triggering. Take care of yourself! Thanks to my beta reader JJfanCM as always. Let me know what you think please. :)

Chapter 8: The Past is Revealed

JJ was understandably on edge. The only tangible lead she thought she had was dead. And the worst part was, she didn't ever remember saying her theory out loud. Luckily, she hadn't been sent to this crime scene. She didn't know if she could handle seeing his body. It had all been too much lately.

JJ was just getting out of her car as her phone began to buzz with a phone call from Hotch. She was early to work and their latest victim had been found last night. Unless their unsub killed again, she couldn't figure out why Hotch was calling her so early.

"Hey Hotch, I'm just walking in. What's up?"

"I need to see you in my office now."

"Uh-okay." JJ stammered, easily taken aback by Hotch's tone. He didn't offer any other words before hanging up. JJ couldn't figure out everyone's weird behaviors this morning and it instantly had her worried. She hurried as quickly as she could up to the bullpen. Much to her dismay, the rest of the team was already standing around in the conference room. They were staring at her while trying not to look like they were staring at her.

Instantly, JJ's heart sank to her stomach. Her forehead began to sweat and her pulse raced. She tried to not jump to worst-case scenarios, but her brain was already there. For almost two weeks she had been sitting on an emotional time bomb. One she mostly buried due to the torture and threats from their unsub, but nonetheless, the risk had never left her mind. Just as she had feared at the beginning of this case, it was only a matter of time until someone found out. And now as her worst fears were being confirmed, she knew their finding out would only prove to have worse consequences for her since she hadn't been honest with them in the first place.

JJ sat in the chair across from Hotch's desk unsteadily. She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, furiously fighting the urge to start speaking first. All the emotions that she had been bottling up and the lies she had been forced to tell were eating her alive, and at that moment, it was all she could do to not break down and tell Hotch everything.

"JJ…" Hotch started, his disdain evident, his composure shaken, and JJ suddenly realized she'd never seen him so uncomfortable. "It has come to my attention that you have not been honest with your knowledge regarding this case."

JJ's mouth fell open as she struggled to find words. She had nightmares about this moment. She would find herself stuck in time analyzing what she would say and do if it ever came to this, but now as she sat there, not one word came to mind. Not one beacon of defense or explanation to try to smooth over this horrible mess that had been created.

"Do you want to tell me, or should I go on?" He questioned somewhat rhetorically.

JJ sat still, anticipating and waiting for the worst to come.

"As it turns out, you did attend high school with Mr. Alderman. Not only that, but you were in his class your sophomore year. Is that correct?"

JJ briefly nodded then wondered if she'd imagined it or if she had actually provided the feedback.

"JJ. I hate to ask this. You know I don't like going through the personal lives of team members… but when it's relevant to a case-" He stopped as he examined her behavior, trying to clue in on why she could be behaving this way.

"Hotch…" JJ trailed off, and while she had lacked any emotion through the duration of this meeting, suddenly her emotions began to take over. "I'm so sorry. I don't even know how to explain."

Hotch moved his hands to clasp in front of him on his desk while he leaned forward a bit.

"You have two options. You can either come with me to the conference room and tell the rest of the team what you know, or I can have Garcia take a fine-tooth comb through your personal life."

"Wait, you don't understand… I can't-" JJ stammered.

"I can't negotiate with you, JJ. My hands are tied, in more ways than one."

JJ's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Hotch sighed and stayed quiet for several seconds.

"I mean, this information was brought to the attention of Strauss."

JJ's head fell in defeat, and her eyes slipped closed. It wasn't Garcia that had found this information and told Hotch. No, it was much worse than that. She had a pretty good idea of how Strauss found out about her past, it began and ended with the coward behind the texts.

"I'm sorry, JJ. But I have to suspend you indefinitely while we conduct an investigation."

"No… Hotch, you can't be serious. You have to understand-"

Hotch stopped her by holding out his hand. "I do. I do understand. I can't imagine what you've been through. But as I said- my hands are tied. I'll ask one more time. Do you want to enlighten the team, or should I have Garcia?"

JJ neglected to start with an apology. She knew they didn't care and she couldn't find any words that would adequately explain the horrific situation she has found herself in. Maybe after all this was over she could explain herself and apologize, maybe then they would forgive her.

"Mr. Alderman was my sophomore year science teacher. He uh- was normal, I thought. A lot of the students really liked him. There were rumors about him being inappropriate with girls, but nothing had ever happened so I thought it was just that- rumors."

JJ paused and briefly looked around the circle, but she couldn't make eye contact with any of them. Not yet.

"Long story short, it came out he was abusing students and threatening them so they wouldn't tell anyone. That's why he got away with it for so long."

"JJ. We need the whole story." Hotch pressed.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Hotch," JJ replied while her lips pursed into a straight line as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"How did the abuse come out?" Emily interrupted gently, her complexion warm and encouraging.

JJ closed her eyes tightly and bit the inside of her lip. It had been years since she had spoken about her traumatic childhood. She had it all tucked away in a locked box deep inside of her. The team was trying to coax it out of her, to get all the information they needed, but it felt like they were pulling her teeth with pliers.

She wasn't naive, she knew somehow her past was connected to this unsub and this case, why else would he be so obsessed with her? She also knew that by telling the team everything she knew, it would help them find the man behind this and maybe put this living nightmare of hers to bed.

Even so, it didn't make the lump in her throat go away. And it certainly didn't make the words any easier to say.

"I reported it," JJ answered weakly.

She saw the team's countenances change with this new information and she watched as they tried to hide their mixed emotions.

Rossi shifted in his seat. "How did you know there was something that needed to be reported?"

JJ heard Rossi's question, but she kept her eyes fixated on Morgan. He was staring straight at the table, his gaze never wavering. She could sort of see his expression but she couldn't quite decipher what it was.

Disappointment? Disgust?

She felt her lips tremble as the uncomfortable words sat on the tip of her tongue. She didn't realize how difficult this would be. But she would rather tell her story herself than to let someone else put the details together into whatever they thought to be the truth.

"I was failing the class. Normally I was an excellent student, but the pressure from varsity soccer was overwhelming. In order to stay on the team, I had to get my grade up. My soccer coaches set up a time for me to have an individual tutoring session with Alderman after school one day."

JJ tried to spit out the words as soon as she thought them, she knew if she thought about it too much the words would never come out. So she just kept pushing on and pretended like it wasn't her story she was sharing.

"When I showed up he brought me inside the classroom then immediately locked the door. I didn't know why and I felt like he was doing me this huge favor so I didn't say anything. I didn't want to upset him."

It felt like the words echoed in the silent room as she said them. For the first time since speaking, she felt the emotion well up in her eyes. She fought to keep them under control, to not show any more weakness than she already had, but the battle was futile.

"He told me he could raise my grade and make it all go away. I asked him how and that's when he took off his shirt." JJ stuttered over the words. "He walked towards me and told me I just had to do one thing for him and that he wouldn't tell anyone. I told him I wasn't so sure about this and turned to walk to the door. He got really angry and told me that no one would believe me if I said anything."

JJ looked up from her shaking hands with blurry vision and tears streaming down her face.

"Please Hotch. Don't make me do this." JJ begged, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry JJ. We have to know what happened. We can't find him if…"

JJ nodded her head and looked back towards her fingers that had become damp with fallen tears.

"He told me my parents would be so upset if they found out about this, and that I wouldn't be able to play soccer anymore. I asked him why I wouldn't be able to play, and he told me that he was friends with the coaches and that he could get me kicked off the team for being a slut."

JJ resisted the urge to vomit at the memories. Her anxiety bubbled in her stomach and made her extremely nauseous.

"He made me take off my clothes..."

Morgan stood up abruptly, cutting JJ off.

"Come on Hotch, we don't need to hear this." He said angrily, his eyes glaring deeply at Hotch who was standing towards the back of the room.

Hotch ignored Morgan's outburst and turned his attention to JJ.

"Did he assault you?" Hotch continued on.

JJ nodded her head and again fought the overwhelming emotion threatening to take over.

"What happened after you left his classroom?" Hotch guided gently.

"I told one of my soccer coaches and then it all spiraled from there. I had to go to the hospital for an exam. I had to report my story to the cops so many times. And then the next week he was arrested. That's when other victims came forward about his abuse. He'd been doing it for years."

At this point, JJ felt about as big as a bug. She could feel the tension in the room like the thick smoke in a house fire. None of them would make eye contact with her and she almost felt as violated here as she had on that awful day.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Garcia asked through her own tears.

JJ closed her mouth tightly and barely offered a shrug. She didn't have a good answer for Garcia's question.

Hotch stood up and moved in front of JJ, standing between her and the rest of the team.

"I'm sorry JJ. I need your badge and gun."

JJ handed over the requested items with a stiff arm. Her other one still placed in the sling. She didn't give Hotch a chance to excuse her, she walked out of the room as quickly as she could. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to stand in that room again.

JJ was sitting in her car while sobs wracked through her body to no end. This time she didn't try to stop them. She just sat there and cried while feeling every awful emotion her brain could come up with.

She about jumped out of her skin as the passenger door opened and Morgan sat down. He stared forward silently and JJ kept her eyes on him, attempting to figure out what he was doing or what he was thinking.

She didn't have to wait for long before he started speaking.

"Jayje… why didn't you tell me? You didn't think I would understand? After everything with Buford..." Morgan replied, his tone somber and disappointed.

"Derek, I'm sorry-"

He cut her off.

"You could have told me. I could have… I don't know. I could have done something so that you wouldn't have had to do that."

JJ stayed silent.

"I could have protected you. Helped you. I just thought you trusted me more than this." He moved to get out of the car, not once having looked in her eyes.

"Wait, Derek, please. Let me try to explain."

Morgan slowly moved back and closed the door again. This time he turned in his seat to face her. Without warning, Derek leaned across the center console and put his hands on either side of her face. He placed his lips on JJ's with a sense of passion that JJ had never experienced before.

After a second she felt herself soften in his embrace and she slowly slid her one good hand behind his neck and deepened the unexpected kiss. She couldn't tell how long the kiss lasted, all she knew was that it had ended too soon as Morgan's cell phone began to ring.

Their lips parted and they stared at each other for a moment that seemed to last forever until Morgan finally broke eye contact and answered his phone.

"Morgan." He answered.

And suddenly JJ was aware of every muscle in his body, each one that moved as he spoke and tightened as he felt her gaze on him.

Morgan whipped his head towards JJ with a wide stare.

"We'll be right there." He answered into the phone before hanging up.

"Reid's awake," Morgan said with a deep smile.