July 31, 1993

Dear Sirius,

You've escaped. How did you even do it? No one has ever escaped from Azkaban. No one. And why now? Why wait twelve years?

They say you're after Harry. That the Dementors heard you say "he's at Hogwarts" in your sleep. That they're sending Dementors to Hogwarts, to protect him, because otherwise you might kill him.

I still can't believe it, like I couldn't believe you killed James and Lily. I remember when you first held him, thirteen years ago – it's his birthday today, did you realize that? You were so scared that you'd drop him or hurt him, that you were holding him wrong – you had no idea how to hold a baby. But Lily showed you how, and James told you that they knew Harry was safe with you, and I saw you relax.

You loved him. You used to make smoke and sparkles come out of your wand all the time because he loved it so much. And the expression on your face when he first said "padfoot" just melted my heart. You gave him his first broomstick. You were so excited about that. I can still hear you say "he'll be the world's youngest Quidditch player, Remus! He'll love it!", while you excitedly waved your arms and almost hit me in the face.

You were such a great godfather. I can't imagine you ever wanting to hurt him.

I'm a teacher now, by the way. Dumbledore hired me a few weeks ago. Snape will be brewing the Wolfsbane potion for me. I finally have a challenging job, and I can teach people about my favourite subject, Defence Against the Dark Arts! I want to teach them how to deal with Boggarts, so they can learn that fear is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you don't let it control you. I want to show them Grindylows and Red Caps and Kappas. And I want to teach them about Werewolves, so they'll hear about it from a teacher who doesn't only tell them about how we are disgusting creatures that need to be slaughtered. I want to teach them that the Dark Arts aren't always scary, and that getting to know the unknown is always better than fearing it without reason.

And I will be teaching Harry. I will be seeing him, talking to him. I'm going to teach James and Lily's son.

I haven't been so excited about anything in twelve years. I never thought this was a possibility. I honestly didn't think I would be happy again.

Love, Remus

PS I just realized I could probably send you this letter now. You're not in Azkaban anymore, no one would know except you. But you're also a convicted mass murderer who's after my best friend's son. So no, I don't think I should send you this letter or one of the previous ones. But should I write you another letter, asking you what you're doing and why? Asking you to turn yourself in? I am – I once was – one of your best friends. If you would listen to anyone, it'd be me. But on the other side, you were loyal to Voldemort. You wanted James and Lily killed, so maybe you wanted me killed, too. It's almost impossible to believe, but it's the truth, isn't it? Nothing I can say will ever change that.