I woke up in a cold sweat. On instinct I reached for Shokyakuro, seeking his warmth. I cursed myself for forgetting I had left him at squad 4. I sighed groggily, not even sure what time it was, and dressed to go and retrieve him. Another sigh when it set in how angry he was going to be when I picked him up — I could already hear his wrathful voice in my head. The sun was just barely rising when I left my room. I gave Renji's room a quick and mournful look before setting off to squad 4. It killed me to see him the way I did last night. The worst part was, all I had wanted him to do the whole time I was in the infirmary was to care about me that way. And now, what, he sees me with Ichigo and that's what gets him? Or the fact that I didn't have my zanpakuto? I just didn't get it.
I shook it off as a slight chill made its way through my bones. I walked leisurely towards my destination, allowing myself to enjoy the crisp morning air. But as soon as I reached the squad 4 barracks, I hadn't even entered when I felt my body go numb. On instinct I sprinted inside, trying my best not to wake anyone as I maneuvered through the halls on the way to the room. I wrenched the door open and nearly collapsed. He was gone. The breath escaped from my lungs as I tried to steady myself and stave off the rising panic.
"Damnit …" I muttered under my breath. "Damnit, damnit, damnit!"
"Miss Katsumi?" Hanataro's sleepy voice surprised me.
"Hanataro ... I'm sorry, I hope I didn't wake you." He waved his hand casually and shook his head.
"No, no. I always get up this early to round on the patients, don't worry," he said with a yawn. "But ... what are you doing here so early? Actually, what are you doing here at all — didn't Captain Unohana release you?"
"Yeah, she did. I left my zanpakuto here last night," I explained as calmly as I could. "But it's not here ... do you have any idea where it could be? Did someone move it, or something?"
"Hm ... I don't think so? We don't really make it a habit of moving peoples' things if they leave something — and if we do we always make sure to return it to its rightful owner. Especially something as important as a zanpakuto."
"Damnit ... this is bad."
"I'm surprised you left it here ... did you just forget it?" he asked.
"I wish I had just forgotten it," I said, rubbing my temples. "No, I needed a break from him, and I knew I was going to come get him early in the morning. It was fine. It was supposed to be fine…" I worked to control the panic building in my voice.
"Oh dear ... that's not good."
"No, it's really not."
"Well, I'll take a look around here, hopefully it'll turn up somewhere! I'll be sure to let you know if I find it."
"Thank you Hanataro, I really appreciate it," I said, patting him lightly on the shoulder before running out of the barracks. What the hell was I going to do, now? I couldn't go to grandfather ... not yet, anyway. He had to be a last resort. I mean if I told him I left Shokyakuro on his own ... I can't even imagine the rage. I couldn't go to captain Kuchiki; there's no way I could deal with his judgement right now. Not to mention he would probably think I was a moron the rest of our lives.
I skidded to a halt in front of my squad's barracks. I should go to Renji — despite everything, he was still my lieutenant whether I liked it or not. And who cared if he judged me at this point; doesn't seem like he could think much lower of me. I started towards his room but stopped again, hesitating. My stomach clenched just thinking about having to face him, especially after last night. I growled to myself and took off again. I just couldn't do it. Maybe I had too much pride, or too many feelings I couldn't explain, but either way there was one more person I could go to. I ran through the Seireitei searching for the right barracks, thankful that there were only a handful of people awake and walking around right now. I couldn't imagine how crazy I probably looked running around as frantic as I was.
After a few wrong turns I finally found what I was looking for: squad 13. This was the difficult part now though ... I had no idea where to go once I was here. I roamed the grounds as quietly as I could, not wanting to disturb anyone, as I wracked my brain for how to find my way.
"Can I help you find something?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as a soft voice sounded out behind me. I turned to see a man sitting cross-legged in front of a small garden; his white hair flowed beautifully down his shoulders, disappearing into the white captains coat he wore. I flushed.
"I am so sorry to intrude, sir," I said with a bow. "I'm actually looking for Ichigo Kurosaki — do you happen to know where he is?"
"The substitute soul reaper?" he paused to think. "I believe he's staying in the guest house. It's around the back of this building here."
"Thank you."
"I don't believe we've met before, have we?" Manners just seemed to be out the window for me today, apparently.
"No, I'm sorry, we haven't. My name is Katsumi, and I'm the new third seat of squad 6," I said. His eyebrows raised.
"Squad 6? Yes I do believe I heard something about your arrival. I am Jushiro Ukitake — captain of squad 13."
"It is very nice to meet you, sir."
"Likewise," he responded with a sweet smile. I bowed again quickly and scurried off to where Captain Ukitake had instructed. I found what looked to be the right place and hesitated before knocking, feeling guilty for waking him so early. Still, I rapped on the door a few times. I heard him stir and waited a minute before he opened the door. I couldn't help but get butterflies looking at him. He was rubbing at his eye with the heel of his hand and somehow he managed to make bed head look cute. There was a slight blush on his cheeks from sleep, and I was surprised to be a little caught off guard by him in a tank top and sweatpants. As soon as he registered that it was me, he perked up a bit, his eyes focused on me.
"Katsumi ..." he said, still groggy. "Surprised to see you here so early. I mean, I'm not complaining or anything, but when you said tomorrow I didn't think you meant as soon as tomorrow started." He let out a low chuckle.
"Ichigo ..." I whispered, suddenly realizing how out of breath I was from sprinting all the way here; I was panting. His face softened though I could see concern in his eyes.
"Here, come in." He took my hand in his and led me inside, shutting the door behind me. "Sit." I obeyed. Though it didn't hurt, I was suddenly very aware of the scar on my stomach.
"Thanks."
"So what's going on? You're starting to make me nervous." I took another big gulp of air and tried to steady myself.
"My zanpakuto ... it's gone."
"Gone?" he echoed. "What do you mean gone?"
"I mean he's gone. I went to squad 4 early this morning to pick him up and when I got there he was nowhere to be seen." Ichigo paled.
"What? What do you think happened? Do you think someone took him?"
"I mean ... Shokyakuro is strong, and never ceases to surprise me, but I doubt he grew legs and walked off on his own," I said, genuinely taking a second to roll the idea around in my head as a possibility. "So, yeah, I think someone must have taken him."
"But who would do that?" Ichigo mused. "It's not like they could wield it the way you do. So what's the point?"
"No clue ... I just know I need to find him, and fast." Ichigo nodded.
"Understood. Just let me get dressed and I'll help you track him down."
"Thank you," I said in breathless relief. I stood to leave and give him some privacy to change, but when I turned to look at him, his pants were already off. I couldn't help but admire the way the dark blue briefs hugged his backside. I felt my face heat. He took his shirt off next and I nearly passed out. The muscles in his back rippled as he moved, his strength evident. He turned to face me and smirked, clearly enjoying the dumbstruck face I was surely giving him.
"I thought it was only fair I repay the favor," he purred. I couldn't stop myself from admiring his beautifully sculpted body. I could see each individual ab built into his stomach, and his pecs looked hard as rocks; there wasn't an inch of him that looked anything less than perfect. I managed to shake myself out of it and looked back up to his face. His equally perfect face, that was staring at me, almost smug. I could see something else in his face, too. Desire, maybe, or maybe just satisfaction at my reaction to his immaculate form.
"Sorry," I said, my voice breaking a little, much to my chagrin. "I don't mean to stare."
"I don't mind," he replied, taking a step towards me. "Like I said, I owed you anyway from the other day." I was truly at a loss for words. There was no doubt that Ichigo was gorgeous, and a heat in the pit of my stomach ached for me to go to him, to wrap his body around mine and lose myself in him.
But that was just it — I absolutely would lose myself in him. And I just couldn't do that. Not right now anyway, not when Shokyakuro was missing, and not while …
Renji.
I don't know why his name flashed through my head at this moment, but I shook it off. My eyes focused on the man in front of me, still standing at arms length, an inquisitive look on his face. I took a deep breath, silently cursing myself for making the decision I was about to make. I stepped towards him, closing the gap between us, and placed my hand gently on his bare chest. I dug my fingertips into his skin, ever so softly, and nearly lost my resolve at feeling its sturdiness. He looked at me with eager eyes. I reached up, lifting myself up on my toes, and laid a lingering kiss on his cheek.
"I'll wait for you outside, Ichigo," I murmured against his skin. I pressed my lips to him once more before mustering every ounce of self control I had and walking out the door to allow him to change alone.
As soon as the doors shut behind me I exhaled so hard I nearly collapsed. I braced my hands on my knees as I bent over at the waist.
"Holy shit …" I breathed. I couldn't help but marvel at my level of self-restraint; obviously all I wanted to do was kiss that incredibly handsome man in there. But I knew there were more pressing matters at hand. The door slid open behind me. He dressed quicker than I would have thought.
"You ready?" He said, close enough that I could feel his body heat on mine.
"Yep! Ready to get going!" I groaned inwardly at the obviously faked enthusiastic tone. My head was swimming; I was worried about Shokyakuro, nervous around Ichigo, not to mention my body was still hot for him, and then still upset over Renji. The damn boy wouldn't leave my mind. Ichigo's posture shifted. He straightened his body and stepped away, putting a bit of distance between the two of us. He stared me down for a second and then nodded curtly.
"Right," he said. "Let's go."