A/N: Helllloooo readers! So like I said, I was still writing this, and after writing fourteen more chapters (not including this interlude), I present to you... Part II (out of III - if you were wondering...)

Interlude: Mission Debrief

Aiko coughed as she walked up to the head of the table donning her Akatsuki cloak and her Ame hitai-ate, that which now had the characteristic cut across its metal. She turned, looking at the nine forms who had taken a seat (or ten if you counted Zetsu as two people). She took a deep breath, her hand shaking as she looked at her queue cards.

"So," she coughed into her hand again, "the Chunin Exams. I'm here to tell you what happened. That is why we've gathered, or are present, or are thought-projected."

She frowned, trying to think about it.

"Would you just get on with it, brat," Hiruko sneered. "It doesn't take long to tell us how two Genin brats did on three simple tasks."

And so Aiko began the thrilling tale of how she, bravely paired with a blatant idiot and a creepy girl who was obsessed with knives, found out the Nine Tail Jinchuriki was an evil genius, and possibly had an unhealthy relationship with ramen. Oh, and she ran into Orochimaru. Around the table, Konan went as white as a sheep, her fists balled in anger. Meanwhile, Sasori…

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING SPOUTING ABOUT RAMEN WHEN YOU RAN INTO THAT TRAITOR?" he growled, his killing intent making it very hard for Aiko to breath.

"Why didn't you tell us? Why are we only hearing about this now?" Konan added, looking like she was about to go snake hunting.

"But the mission comes..." Aiko paused feeling as if she was about to face imminent death by paper cuts. "Erm, second of course, heh heh."

Aiko sweat dropped, thinking that shinobi rule number four could get her killed in more ways than one. With a deep breath, the girl made it clear her goals were completely different to the snake and they planned to stay very far away from each other. At that the room quietened down and the tension dropped from their shoulders. That was until the incident in the Forest of Death came up.

"And, well, Orochimaru's snakes tried to kill us, but the crazy knife girl - Anzu - skewered one to death and I stabbed one whilst he tried to drain me of chakra."

"You finally killed someone? Good on you, un," Deidara grinned.

"Nice," Kisame added, giving her a feral grin.

Aiko looked pleased with herself before her eyes flicked to her kaa-san who had just snapped a kunai into two with her bare hands.

"But in no way was I in any danger!"

"You almost died twice!" Konan snapped.

"But I didn't!" Aiko huffed.

It really hadn't been that much of a fight though, especially when you compare it to her near-death experience. And no, she wasn't talking about the incident with the giant blood-sucking leech. Continuing, Aiko looked pleased with herself when she received a 'well done' from Pain as he took the two nin-cards of the Jinchuriki.

"And then…" Aiko murmured into the ground, getting quieter by the second.

"Louder, brat!" Sasori called.

Aiko sighed.

"AndthenOrochimaruthreatenedtokillmeunlessIdidwhathesaid," she said faster than Konohagakure's Yellow Flash moved.

Unfortunately, she was in a room of skilled shinobi.

"He threatened you?" Konan sat up, her fists meeting the table top and causing it to split in two before collapsing in the middle.

"I'll make him go katsu!" Deidara growled, with every intent to join Konan's snake hunt.

"What did he want you to do, Aiko?"

Despite his calm and cool exterior, Itachi was close to breaking point on the inside as he questioned the girl on the snake's intentions at the Chunin Exam.

"He… he wanted our team to fight Uchiha Sasuke... until he was 'pushed to the edge'."

Everyone's head turned to Itachi.

"I see," was all the response he gave, as he mentally cursed the snake into oblivion and sharpened his shuriken for the hunt.

"I think he did something to him in the forest as well, since he came out looking half-dead and having to lean on the shoulder on his pink-haired teammate."

"Pfft," Deidara snickered. "Looks like the Uchiha name isn't what it used to be, un."

"I left my otouto alive purely as a spare set of eyes. As long as they are still intact, I have no qualms," Itachi breathed, adding Deidara to his list of 'people to mentally torture later'.

After a run down of the fight between Anzu and Sasuke, Deidara had been removed from Itachi's list. Aiko fought a puppet, Naruto won a fight with a fart, and Aiko passed over the whole month of training with a slight nervous breakdown.

"Oh, and I met a complete pervert called Jiraiya."

Konan sweat-dropped, her eyes becoming slanted as the girl explained the antics of a man who could be none other than her former teacher. She could only hope that her daughter hadn't picked up any traits like her father had. After recalling the battle prowess of two Jinchuriki, Pain cut her off.

"Excellent, I believe we can deem your first mission a success. We can now plan adequately with the information you have gathered," Pain nodded, rising to declare the meeting concluded.

"Don't you want to hear about the invasion?"

"The what?"

"Oh, right, did I forget to mention that the whole reason Orochimaru was there was because Sound and Sand had joined forces to invade Konoha?" she asked sheepishly.

"No, you failed to mention that minor detail," Konan hissed, managing to make eight (or nine) fully-fledged Akatsuki members wince at the level of killing intent being emitted.

"Well, err, yeah. I was perfectly safe. The Jonin protected me and even let me kill-" Aiko did a mental count before running out of fingers before shrugging - "some guys. Actually it was going really well until I was kidnapped."

The killing intent spiked.

"By Itachi!" she added quickly, causing Konan's head to snap to the side and glare at the raven haired teen.

"I was responding to her distress signal," he clarified, allowing everyone to lower their tensed shoulders.

"Anything else you failed to mention, brat?" Sasori growled.

Aiko stole a look towards her mother, turning back to Pain.

"The One Tail kind of went berserk and got released. Me and Itachi were able to watch the whole fight, so we've got some great intelligence," she beamed.

"So Konohagakure is no more then?" Zetsu whispered, causing Aiko to blink.

She had almost forgotten he could talk beyond threatening to eat people and demanding to be watered.

"Actually the Nine Tails, Uzumaki Naruto, was able to defeat him… the Tailed Beast himself even made an appearance, although I think it was actually a frog," she frowned with a tilt of her head.

"Pfft… kid doesn't even know the difference between a frog and a fox," Kisame chuckled.

"Believe me," she dead-panned, recalling a certain pink abomination. "I know the difference."

"Well then, it seems we have a lot to discuss. I am proud that you have accomplished so much on your first mission, Aiko," Pain announced, finding that the hole in the roof in Amegakure was making itself known once more before turning to Itachi and Kisame, "and what about you? What were you able to accomplish? I fail to see the so-called 'ramen-obsessed evil genius' in my presence."

At her oji-san's stern expression pointed in the duo's direction, Aiko snickered, holding her palm out to Deidara who left her hand stinging with a high-five of glorious victory.

"I tried telling them that I should go in to retrieve Naruto. He trusted me, but alas they would not listen," Aiko sighed, supporting her cheek with a clenched fist as Kisame internally promised her next training session to be a particularly deadly one.

"That didn't work when you approached him in the Land of Hot Springs, did it?" Kisame smirked, watching as the girl's jaw clenched in anger.

"He was coming with me before you failed in preventing the te- I mean, Uchiha Sasuke from interfering," she glared back, turning her cold gaze on Itachi. "In fact, why did you reveal yourself? I could have convinced him to my side before you showed up! I mean, come on Itachi, how did you think it was going to go?

Hello Itachi. What's that? You need to borrow my team mate. Sure. Just make sure he comes back with a pulse, would you?" she mimicked, choosing to do her speech in an expressionless monotone since Akatsuki had no idea how pathetic expressions had made the younger Uchiha.

Deidara was struggling to breathe by the time she was finished, trying to cover up the fact he had to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"My brother had already seen my cloak in the village. It would not be long before he saw yours and realised we were aligned in our goals," Itachi explained in a similar monotone.

"Well, whose fault was that?" she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as her cheeks became tinged pink with the knowledge that she had insisted that she wear the damn cloak.

But still, it was them who had got caught.

"Enough," Pain declared, commanding the attention of the room once more. "Please conclude your report."

"Itachi kicked his brother's ass," Kisame grinned, eyeing up his companion from the side to see if he gave any reaction to the statement, "and then the Sannin, Jiraiya, showed up."

'The pervert?' Deidara mouthed to Aiko, making her nod with a shudder.

"I see," her mother murmured to herself, "did he… say anything to you?"

Aiko opened her mouth to answer, frowning when she had to think about it.

"Like what?"

"Never mind," Konan concluded, motioning for Kisame to finish up before linking her hands in front of her to listen, whilst ignoring Aiko's questioning gaze.

"Not much to tell after that. We managed to hold our stomachs, didn't we kid?" Kisame chuckled, enjoying Deidara's yelp as his friend shifted into a consuming depression.

"Do not speak of it," the girl hissed from her corner of shame, head bowed.

"Let me tell you guys," Kisame continued, making the girl tense, "that kid's got guts."

Thus, the meeting of Akatsuki was concluded, Kisame laughing his ass off at the girl that had thrown herself across the no-longer whole table, held back by a blonde pyromaniac by the ankles. Her eyes stood out, a stark red amongst the shadow of her face, as Kakuzu began to take bets as to who would survive this fateful encounter, Pain handing him 100 ryo in Aiko's favour, whilst Sasori gave him 100 ryo in Kisame's before slipping Deidara a muscle relaxant as the blood-hungry girl was let loose. As Kakuzu glared at the leaf Zetsu gave him, Konan and Itachi chose to leave, claiming the others to be complete savages.

Just your typical night in the Akatsuki household, really.

A/N: Wooo! Here we go people, round two *ding ding*! P.S. this chapter is inspired by the greatest 're-cap' episode ever (in my opinion). Any guesses?