Chapter 8

Red Base

At Red base only Sarge and Donut were there, and they were on top of the base looking at the canyon. "Just you and me hanging out at the base today, huh, sarge? This is new." Donut said to Sarge. Sarge said nothing. "I noticed you use a shotgun. That's cool. I just use this pistol. It works for me." Donut said to Sarge before whistling.

"So, you think the guys will be back soon? What do you think they're up to? Do you think they stopped at the store? I noticed we were getting pretty low on elbow grease." Donut said to Sarge. But again Sarge said nothing. "When you die, can I have your armor?" Donut asked Sarge. "No Donut." Jack said to Donut as he, Simmons, and Grif got back and came up the ramp to the roof. "Hey, we're back!" Simmons said to them.

"Oh, man, am I glad to see you guys! Sarge would not stop talking. Seriously." Donut said to them. "If that's the case then why could I only hear your voice Donut?" Jack said to Donut. "Enough Jack. did you three work out a suitable exchange?" Sarge asked them.

"Uh… not exactly, sir. You see, when we showed up the Blues were doing something REALLY weird and then w-." Simmons said to Sarge but was interrupted by Girf. "Really weird! And they were rude!" Grif said to Sarge. "Hey, dumbass, I thought we agreed I was gonna tell the story." Simmons said to Grif. "No we didn't." Jack said to Simmons. "Just let me tell the story." Simmons said to Jack. "Fine go ahead!" Grif said to Simmons.

"Well, you see, the Blue guys were really weird. And not just normal weird, really weird." Simmons said to Sarge. "You're not telling it right." Grif said to Simmons. "Okay, fine, how do you remember it?" Simmons asked Grif. "Well, I remember we agreed that you're a kiss-ass. I got fuzzy on the rest of the details." Grif said to Simmons.

"Jack report." Sarge said to Jack. "Blue's wired. Simmons and Grif brainless. Prisoner left to rot in the middle of cannon." Jack said to Sarge. "What does he mean by "Prisoner left to rot in the middle of cannon"?" Sarge asked them. "Yeah, they didn't want the prisoner back, sir." Simmons said to Sarge.

"Why, those cunning blue devils! Does their treachery know no bounds?" Sarge said to them. "It wasn't a total loss, sir. I was able to steal his wallet." Grif said to Sarge. "Grif… I may just make a respectable soldier out of you yet." Grif said to Sage. "Really, sir?" Grif asked Sarge. "Hell no! Now leave the money on my nightstand and get back to work! All of you!" Sarge said to the Reds as they got back to work

Blue Base

"Alright, Tucker, West, what the hell are we gonna do, man? I gotta get my legs working here." Church said and Tucker said. "I don't know, but I can't keep pulling wires down there."

"And unless you want to explode again, I think we should call in a professional. Heck that someone can fix Sheila, too." West said and Church said. "Why can't you fix Sheila?"

"The mannule got destory after you were killed by her." West said and Church said. "Whatever. But the idea has problems. The only people that have vehicle training are Senor El Roboto and Tex."

"Hmm… Tex can be kinda hard to work with." Caboose said and Tucker said. "Yeah, dead people usually are."

"If not annoying at least." West said, looking at Church and Church said. "Quite frankly, Tucker and West, I find your attitude offensive."

"What about that Lopez person? Is he available?" Caboose said and Church said. "No. I'm in his body, remember?"

"Well… Why don't you just leave his body, and then Tucker and I will make him fix you and my girlfriend!" Caboose said and Tucker and West said. "Girlfriend? What?"

"I-I mean, uh, Tucker and I will make him fix you and, uh, the beautiful tank lady who means nothing to me. Uh, then we can get you back in his body when he is done." Caboose said and Tucker said. "I'm confused. That actually seems like a good idea."

"I know." Church said and West said. "But Caboose said it."

"I know." Church said and Tucker and West punched Church robot face. "Ah! What the hell was that for?!" Church said and Tucker said. "I don't know, I thought maybe I was dreaming."

"And I just want to punch you." West said and Church said. "West, fuck you and Tucker. When you think you're dreaming, you don't punch somebody else, you get somebody else to pinch you!"

"Dude, it doesn't matter what kind of dream I'm having, I am not going to ask you to pinch me." Tucker said and Church said. "If you dented my forehead, Tucker, I'm going to be pissed."

"Be quiet and try it." West said and Church said. "Ok, I'll jump outta Lopez's body real quick. You three just watch him and make sure he doesn't try anything. Got it?" The blue nodded yes. "Alright, here goes nothing." Soon Church was out of Lopez's body. After Church was gone and Tucker complimented Caboose in the background, Lopez said looking around. [Where I am?]

[Welcome to Blue Base.] West said to Lopez and he said to West. [You speak Spanish?]

[Yes, now we have a job for you.] West said to Lopez and he said to West. [I'll never work for a Blue.] Lopez then punched West in the face and ran away. Church then appeared and said. "Yeah, back in the spirit world, alright! Man, I forgot how good this feels. Kinda loosey-goosey. "Hey. What'd you guys do with my body."

"Your body punched me and ran away." West said and Tucker said. "But his legs don't work." West then pointed to Lopez who was running to the cliff. Tucker then said. "Oh hey look, your legs work!"

"I gave you all one job and you fucked it up. Tucker, you guys go through the teleporter and cut him off. I'll meet you guys out there." Church said and Tucker said. "There's no way I'm going through the teleporter again."

"That is one thing we can agree on, so we will use this to stop Lopez. " West said, giving Tucker a grenade. "Good idea. Let's go Caboose." Tucker said as he threw a grenade into the teleporter and jumped off the base and ran after Lopez. Church appeared next to the teleporters exit and said to Lopez. "Alright, hold it right there, amigo. " Then Tucker grenade appeared out of the teleporter. Lopez saw it and ran away. Church didn't see it until it exploded.

Red Base

On Red Base they heard the sound of the grenade exploding. "What in Sam Hill is going on out there, Jack and Grif? Sarge asked Jack and Grif who were looking through some sniper rifles. "Sir, I think we're under attack. A very sloppy, poorly coordinated attack." Grif said to Sarge. "At best." Jack said to Sarge.

"How many do you see?" Sarge asked them. "There's two running our way and another one seems to be- retreating?" Grif said to Sarge. "Why would they retreat?" Jack said. "Oh, we'll give them all the reason to retreat. Saddle up, Simmons, and Jack. let's go rope us some Blue steer!" Sarge said to Simmons and Jack. "Woohoo! Alright, yeah!" Simmons said as they all started to head towards the Warthog. "We will feast on Blues tonight." Jack said as they got in the car with Simmons in the back, Sarge driving, and Jack in shotgun cheering all the way.

"So." Donut said as he walked to Grif's side. "Just you and me, hanging out at the base. That's cool." Donut said to Grif. "Shut up, rookie." Grif said to Donut. "Do you think they'll be gone long. Me and Sarge had a great time together. We talked about all kinds of stuff." Donut said to Grif. "Oh my God. I'm not gonna be listening to this all day long." Grif said as Donut kept talking. "He showed me a picture of his mother. We talked about home decorating." Donut said to Grif.

"Are you ever going to SHUT UP?" Grif asked Donut. "We made macrame ideas." Donut said to Grif. "Jesus Christ!" Grif said. "We shared recipes for souffles." Donut said as he continued to talk about random stuff as Grif tried to stop him or complained.