Here we are with the "deleted scene" from Ragnar, with his point of view from the last chapter. We also get a little insight into his relationship with Aslaug.
I tried to keep the main story with Athelstan and Lilith, but every now and then, I'd want to see what the other characters were thinking or doing.
I hope everybody likes it.
Read on!
Pride
For the third time in two weeks, Ragnar watched his lawful daughter Lilith leave town with Athelstan, whom he considered one of his closest friends now after everything they had been through together.
It was true that they had not always seen eye to eye when it came to Lilith, especially given that the Priest had raised her from an infant. And it was true that despite the few bumps in the road along the way, they had managed to create a family unit among the six of them before things had changed.
Now because of a situation that could not be helped, Lilith did not feel happy with him or her sister. Now because of this new person in their lives, Lilith did not feel safe.
Ragnar did not regret his decision to pause Gyda's reading and writing lessons until after his new child was born. But he had not expected this to be the result of that.
Oh, he knew who was responsible, but until his young beautiful new wife gave birth, he could not confront her. So he would wait until his child was born, and then he would put a stop to this.
Ragnar would not have anymore of his children feel unsafe or unhappy if he could do anything about it.
As it was, Ragnar was still coming to terms with the fact that he had not seen Lilith struggling, especially after he'd noticed what had happened between his ex-wife and Athelstan before Aslaug had come to Kattegat on her own.
Oh, they had tried to hide it. Lagertha had been distant for months, and so had Ragnar. It did not surprise him that she had turned to the only other person available to her for comfort, even if he didn't believe it began that way. After what had happened at Uppsala, and even before that, Lagertha had been more capable of understanding Athelstan's anger, and Ragnar had chosen not to take the young man to Götland for that reason.
All that talk Lagertha had done about wanting Ragnar to rest and even the revelation of Lilith's gift had sounded strange coming from her. He had seen the anger simmering beneath the surface, but it had never come out. That had alerted him that something was still off with her.
The day they had celebrated Athelstan becoming a free man, Ragnar had become certain what had happened. Though he couldn't be certain about the night that Siggy's daughter had been sent to prepare Athelstan for the sacrifice, a good part of Ragnar's instincts told him that nothing had happened between them. And if it hadn't, then that meant it had happened between Lagertha and Athelstan. No man who had never been with a woman allowed himself to be kissed without some kind of reaction. And when Athelstan had not reacted to Lagertha's kiss the day he'd received his arm ring, Ragnar knew.
Considering neither of them had told him, he decided it had not been planned, but it also meant they were either ashamed or did not believe he would understand.
Perhaps that was why Ragnar was not surprised by Athelstan's anger. He was a passionate man, as evidenced by his outbursts over the years. He was quick to love, but also quick to anger when it came to the people he loved. Ragnar knew Lilith was the first in those people, and now he knew Lagertha was also in that small group. Ragnar knew his own children Bjorn and Gyda also had the Priest's love, and he wondered. Would he ever be included and worthy of Athelstan's love, if not his loyalty?
For now, there was the matter of resolving this issue between Athelstan and Aslaug, and Ragnar knew it would be resolved soon. Whether he had been a Christian or not, Athelstan was a member of his family, not only his household. Aslaug would come to understand that so there would no longer be an issue — for Lilith and Gyda's sake.
When he returned to the long house, Aslaug was waiting for him as she usually did. Though he did not wish to confront her on this issue yet, there was a small detail he wished to point out.
"The next time you see Lilith, I want you to look at her and tell me what she has done for you to cause this. Because you might not understand her place here, but I do. And this is her home as much as it is yours now. And I will not have her feeling this way for something that is not her fault. She is a child. You are a grown woman. Perhaps you should begin acting like one."
She stood up straight, holding her grown belly protectively and clenching her jaw, but she said nothing.
Ragnar took a breath, taking a step away from her. "I have agreed to this arrangement until you have given birth to my child," he allowed. "And until that day comes, this will remain the way of things. But we will . . . revisit this issue again. But by the gods or by my own hand, Lilith is my daughter. Remember that as you continue to await the birth of your own child."
He didn't wait for her to say anything, walking away without saying anything else.
Just a few short weeks later, Aslaug gave birth to their first child, who was a boy as she said it would be, and Ragnar knew then that the gods had been right in saying he would have more sons. This revelation made him think of his ex-wife, and he knew he'd been unfair to her, but holding his newborn son in his arms only made him think of the future.
His son would be called Ubbe, a strong name for a boy, just as his eldest son Bjorn's had been. Aslaug doted on their newborn son. She focused nearly all of her attention on him, as any new mother should, but Ragnar also saw her doing what he had asked before their son had been born.
In just a few short weeks, as Lilith and Athelstan had been leaving town and then returning both lighter and happier, Aslaug had been watching them both. She had not said anything to Ragnar, and he didn't think she would. But he saw her watching them, and he hoped she would do what he asked. Though she now had an infant to take care of, and that infant would be her priority for many months now until she was with child again, she already had two children in her household who needed her to be an adult and a woman.
He hoped it didn't take her long to make the effort he needed her to, but when Gyda's birthday feast passed in August and Aslaug still hadn't said anything to Lilith, Ragnar decided it had gone on long enough. A few days before Lilith's birthday feast, she and Athelstan again left to go to Helga and Floki's, and though it wasn't necessary, Ragnar decided to have another talk with his new wife.
"You realize in just a few short days, my eldest daughter will be old enough to have boys and men coming to ask for her hand in marriage," he said to her as she nursed their son.
"And what of it?" she asked, almost like she didn't care.
Ragnar stepped closer to her. "That means she will be a woman in the eyes of every man in this town. And she will need a woman to help guide her through this. Gyda is not my only true daughter. Lilith is my true daughter, in the eyes of our laws, but also in my eyes. And you are now her lawful mother. Does it not matter to you that she will have to face this without the wisdom of a woman to guide her? Do you not care for her well-being enough now to put aside your pride and do what is expected of you?"
The deep breath she took at least told him she was listening, and while he was grateful for that, when she didn't respond, he sat in front of her so she would have to look at him as he spoke to her.
"My daughter Gyda has accepted you as her step-mother because I gave her no choice," he stated. "And so far, I have seen you do the same. Though I suspect her sister had something to do with it. And I have given you ample time to adjust to taking care of our son. But if you do not accept Lilith, if you cannot put aside yourself and be a mother to her, I will have no choice but to send her to Helga permanently. Since it is obvious to me that Helga accepts her and loves her the way she is. And whether Athelstan goes with her or not, I will not only lose my daughter but also one of my closest friends." He paused, and she lifted her gaze to him. "That means, to me, you will have failed as a mother and as a wife. Is that really what you want?"
She huffed loudly and clenched her jaw, sitting up straight as he leaned closer.
"In three days, she will be sixteen years old," he said plainly. "I will expect you to have spoken to her by the following morning. Think about that very carefully."
He only waited another minute, rising and leaving her in their room. He had a birthday feast to plan, and he knew Gyda would help him even if his wife would not. He hoped she took his words to heart. He would not like watching Lilith leave town for good.
Ragnar wanted this birthday feast to be the biggest the town had ever seen, the same way he'd wanted to Gyda's to be, and he assigned many of the duties of decorating and cooking to his daughter so she could delegate to the other servants. Gyda, of course, knew her sister very well, so it only made sense that she handle as much of it as possible. This feast would be all about putting Lilith on display to the town, so they would know she was a woman, and Ragnar expected many of the guests to lavish great gifts on her.
Nearly everything had been planned by the time Lilith and Athelstan returned the next morning, and it was then that Ragnar realized something was different about his daughter and her favorite companion. It was true that Athelstan had always been a constant in Lilith's life, since she had been an infant. In the last few years he'd known them, they had shown as clear a connection to one another as any two people could. It had always seemed to him like the gods had tied their fates together more than it seemed possible. And now, watching the two of them return home after spending the night with Helga and Floki, Ragnar saw something else.
There had always been friendship between Lilith and Athelstan. Light and reverence. And as Lilith had grown, there had been a growing closeness that only came with time. But now, Ragnar saw love. The kind of love that only came from laughing together and running together and keeping secrets together. The kind of love that suited only two people who knew each other inside and out, even without the intimacy of sex. That would come later. Ragnar was certain of it now.
The day of Lilith's birthday feast arrived, and his suspicions of her closeness to Athelstan were only confirmed further. He watched the two of them laugh together and whisper to each other, more than likely sharing truths only they understood. They still spoke their mother tongue to each other when they thought no one was looking, and even as a dozen and then another dozen and another of gifts were set down before him, Ragnar's mind was made up.
This feast had been meant to show Lilith off to the town, but now, he knew her heart already belonged to one man. All these other men would just have to live with that. None of them would like it, but the only thing Ragnar cared about now was his daughter's happiness. He knew Athelstan already made her happy. So he would nurture this to the best of his ability.
Something else he noticed was that his wife still had not spoken to Lilith by the time her birthday feast was finished and all the guests had left the Great Hall to give his family one night of peace before their responsibilities began again. And it was the last time he was going to say anything to her.
"I believe my eldest daughter has found the man she will marry," Ragnar told his wife the night after the feast. He glanced at her as he undressed for bed. "And I believe the man she has chosen has also chosen her."
For nearly a minute, she said nothing. Then she spoke. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked.
Ragnar smiled to himself. "Do you not remember what I told you before today? About how you had only a short time left before I took drastic measures on this issue."
This time, she remained silent, and he sat down to pull his boots off. "She is a woman now. And she has not had a woman's presence in her life in many months now. And while I will not deny my role in her current state, I will also not relieve you of yours. It is your place to do these things now. And I expect you to fulfill that role to her."
She finished nursing their son and carried him to the bed, laying him down and then sitting on her side of the bed. "And how exactly am I to do this? If she refuses to speak to me or even acknowledge my role to her. It is not completely my fault she is so stubborn."
He scoffed softly, standing up and moving to his side of the bed. She looked up at him, and he leaned over so his face was level with hers. "Perhaps you should speak to Athelstan," he suggested. "You might not like him, but he is more useful to me for his knowledge, and he is a part of my family as much as you are. He knows Lilith better than anyone, and perhaps if you were not so stubborn yourself, you might succeed in getting to know him as well. This is the last time I will speak on this. In the morning, if I have not been satisfied to my liking that it has been resolved, my mind will be made up."
Ragnar gave her no other options, laying beneath the furs on the bed and turning to hold his son as she lay down on the other side of the baby. She didn't speak to him, and he closed his eyes without any reservations. Either she would see to what he said, or this would cause even more significant damage to his family in less than a year.
I've been thinking about posting more of these, but not too many. This story is about Athelstan and Lilith, but sometimes, other characters might need to have a perspective on what's happening. We'll see.
Also, since I've put my other Vikings story on hold, I'll be switching this one to be updated weekly. I'm working on the last few chapters now, so I'll keep you updated.
Until next time!