Chapter 7

"Is he okay?" she asked, her heart catching in her chest as she looked pleadingly from Rex to Yoda.

Their deafening silence, and the way they avoided looking her in the eyes provided an answer she wasn't ready to receive.

He isn't okay, Obi-Wan isn't okay.

For some inexplicable reason she felt like it was her fault. But Rex had said he was shot….

"Obi-Wan is one with the force now Ani," answered the healer softly, shooting an angry look at Rex and Yoda who remained silent.

Ani felt tears cloud her vision before she could blink them away. That couldn't be true. It couldn't! She had seen how Obi-Wan died. Leia… "This is the brother, he's trying to trick me again," she whispered, only half understanding what she was saying. But it seemed so real and the tears she shouldn't be crying wouldn't stop. She couldn't make them stop. So she pulled her hand from Rex's to cover her eyes, desperately hoping that when she opened them again she would find herself back on her shuttle, away from Yoda's judging eyes and this harsh reality.

Unfortunately when her ragged breathing calmed and she opened her eyes again she was still lying in the healing wing of the Jedi temple. And Yoda was still looking at her, an intensity to his gaze. She felt her anger spike as she waited for a platitude about the everlasting force that would do nothing to comfort her.

"The brother you saw?" he asked instead.

Ani did not know how to respond to his question. Everything was so blurry in her head and her heart was burning in pain and how could this even matter if Obi-Wan was really dead?

Both Rex and the healer looked annoyed now, but Yoda persisted. "By the brother who do you mean?" he probed again.

"I…. I don't know," she replied, feeling much too overwhelmed to think about anything. Thankfully the healer seemed to know this and escorted the two men out of the room before coming back to her side.

"Is there anyone you would like to speak with Ani?" she asked softly.

But Ani could only shake her head no. There was no one.

XOXOXO

"Can I come in?"

After almost a week Ani had finally been discharged from the healing wing, and granted two weeks of furlough to re-group after her experiences. Her memory was still fuzzy regarding what exactly had happened to her out in unknown space. The healer warned her that she had likely suffered some sort of trauma, and to return if she was having issues coping with intrusive memories. Ani had plenty of disturbing visions of her missing time, but it would have to be bad for her to go back there. To the place where she found out that she had lost the person who mattered most to her. She never wanted to see the healing wing again. She just wanted to sit alone in her room and cry. Of course the force never respected what she wanted.

"Yes," she replied softly, eyeing the young Togrutan standing hesitantly in her doorway. She wasn't very old and she had been through a lot. Ani couldn't turn her away, but she didn't particularly feel like comforting her right now either.

"Padawn Tano right?" she asked as the the Togrutan walked into her room and looked around for a place to sit. For a chair that didn't have tools or clothes draped over it. Ani quickly pulled her robes off one of her chairs and gestured for her to sit.

They were quiet for a long time. Finally Obi-Wan's padawan spoke.

"Master Obi-Wan and I were going after a bounty hunter – Rako Hardeen. I was driving our speeder and Master Obi-Wan jumped out to go after him. I didn't see it happen. I heard it though. It was just a fluke thing, a stray bullet."

Part of Ani wanted to yell at the other woman, to lash out at her for what happened to Obi-Wan. Yell that she wouldn't have let Master Obi-Wan down, that she could have stopped it. But Rex held a great deal of admiration for Ahsoka and Ani had grown to respect his judgement. And she could not help but feel the younger woman's pain in the force.

"I'm sure you would have been able to save him," Ahsoka finished sorrowfully, and Ani feared she had sensed her thoughts. But she quickly realized she hadn't. It was the young girl's own feelings of inadequacy that prompted her words. A feeling that Ani understood only too well. It eased any lingering resentment and anger she felt towards her.

"Obi-Wan was a great knight, if he could not save himself there is likely nothing anyone else could have done," Ani comforted her, awkwardly walking over to where Ahsoka was sitting and putting her hand on her shoulder.

The girl seemed somewhat comforted by her words, but Ani felt her anger flare at her former Master irrational as it was to be mad at a dead man. How could you have died? How could you have left me alone?

"Thanks for saying that," said Ahsoka. "But I doubt it's true. From the way Obi-Wan and the 212th spoke of you, you would have been able to save him."

"They talked about me?" asked Ani, taken off guard by Ahsoka's words. "I didn't think that …"

"Of course they spoke about you," Ahsoka said, as if Ani must be crazy to question that. "Ani would have done it this way…. Ani would have …. You hung the moon to him, I don't think I could have ever measured up as his padawan."

Ani felt herself flush. Then she frowned.

"Ahsoka, Obi-Wan was not one to praise you when you were in front of him. I thought I was about the least competent padawan in the order when I served with him…."

The hours passed without the two women noticing. Lost in a comfortable silence, broken periodically by shared memories of their former master, crying, laughing and bonding in a way that only two people with a shared sorrow can. Neither realized how late it was until a knock on the door interrupted them.

Ani stood up to open the door, and was surprised to find Yoda and Master Plo standing behind it.

"Masters," she greeted, bowing respectfully.

"Our missing padawan found," stated Yoda, looking past her at Ahsoka.

Ahsoka stood and walked over to the two Masters, looking between both of them. A hopeful look starting to form on her face.

"Ahsoka," started Master Koon seriously but with a smile on his face, and Ani found herself stepping back as he offered to take Ahsoka on as his padawan. The girl eagerly agreed and Ani found herself smiling despite herself, happy that the young girl was getting a Master who she knew would be kind to her. But it hurt too. To see that someone could still be happy in this world. That Master and Apprentice relationships moved on. But the war still needed more soldiers.

"Good fit they are," Yoda observed as the two walked away. Ani couldn't help but agree. But she did not say that to Yoda. "They might become too attached with one another," she observed instead.

"Yes, as masters and padawans can," agreed Yoda. "But confuse attachment and love do not young Skywalker."

Ani looked in surprise at Master Yoda.

"What is the difference?" she asked, wondering why they had never spoken of this before.

Yoda looked at her in surprise. "A youngling's lesson that is. I see some things neglected we have. But know it now you will. Love like the force is. Surrounds us. Boosts us. Leaves us not. Your love of Obi-Wan, perhaps spur you to great acts. Your attachment, perhaps revenge it craves. See the difference do you?"

"It's all love," Ani contradicted. "You can call it attachment when it influences you towards darkness, and love when it moves you toward the light. But you are deluding yourself if you think you can separate love and attachment as if they are two emotions and not different manifestations of the same thing. You can't tell me that it's okay to love someone, just don't get attached."

"Many Jedi love without attachment they cannot, so choose not to love they do," Yoda observed.

"You have to find the balance," Ani whispered, suddenly getting a sense of déjà vu, feeling as if she was far away, and speaking to another wise force user.

"Yes, balance. Find it few do. But what I came to speak of with you, that is not," Yoda continued. "The brother. What of Mortis know you?"

Ani spent the next hour discussing all that she could remember about her experiences with Yoda. It was mostly impressions and feelings she was left with than actual memories. Like the whole thing had been a dream. A dream of a beautiful place full of calm, that quickly turned to a nightmare as the brother, who embodied darkness, tried to tempt her. She told all that she could remember to Yoda as blurry as it was. Except for the one thing that stood out most clearly in her mind. That last vision – the one of Leia stabbing Obi-Wan. That she kept to herself.

"They were trying to test me or teach me I think. But I really don't know if I passed or failed, or even how I got back here."

Yoda nodded. "Upset you were," he observed, and she could tell he was concerned by her mental status when she arrived back. No doubt he was worried that she had failed somehow. She didn't think that she had. But how to reassure Yoda of that when she was not sure herself?

"I was upset because the brother scared me. He showed me upsetting visions, tried to do … something to me." She stopped talking, a flash of memories she did not want to pause on.

Yoda nodded gravely at her words. "Succeed did he?"

Ani's eyes widened. "I don't think. I don't think the father would have let me go if he did."

Ani was exhausted after her conversation with Yoda. She spent the rest of the week alone in her room, avoiding her fellow Jedi. Ahsoka had come by once and forced her into a sparring match, but the Togrutan was off on a mission with Master Plo now and there was no one else she felt like seeing. She might have ventured to the Senate buildings to visit the Chancellor or Padme but both were away in Naboo for the festival of lights. They were returning tonight though. The chancellor had sent her a holo-message that he wished to see her and Ani was going to wander over in a few hours.

XOXOXOXO

Obi-Wan looked wearily at Master Ki-Adi-Mundi as he asked yet another question about his undercover mission and the chancellor's aborted kidnapping. Obi-Wan knew an attempted kidnapping of the chancellor was important, that's why he had written a thorough report on his mission and presented it to the council as soon as he returned to Coruscant. But his thoroughness did not prevent them from having questions.

"What is my next mission?" he asked as soon as there was a break in the questioning, hoping to move towards an end to this meeting. He needed to go find Ahsoka and explain that he wasn't actually dead. He felt terrible knowing the council lied to her, but he understood that it was necessary if his undercover mission was going to work.

"Speak we must," Yoda said instead of answering, and Obi-Wan watched in frustration as all of the other Masters were dismissed from the meeting. Soon it was only he, Yoda and Mace Windu left.

"We have re-assigned Ahsoka," declared Mace, and Obi-wan found himself frowning. Had he been that bad of a master?

"She thought you were dead, and we had to re-assign her to keep your cover. And, perhaps we were hasty in assigning her to you instead of letting you pick your own padawan," explained Mace. "She and Master Koon left on assignment yesterday."

Obi-Wan nodded. He had to admit that Master Koon would be an excellent fit for Ahsoka, and letting her believe he was dead probably would do little to strengthen their Master-padawan relationship. But he still felt like he had failed somehow to have his padawan re-assigned.

"Besides, there is another matter that needs your attention," continued Mace and Obi-Wan frowned. He had been in deep undercover for weeks, had friends in the temple who still believed him dead and he very much wanted to have a small break and a tea. But no, there was a mission that only he could handle. He only just refrained from rolling his eyes.

"It's about Skywalker," Mace began and all thoughts of his tea vanished.

"Ani?" he asked. She was supposed to be in deep separatist space. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine physically. She's been safely grounded on Coruscant for almost a month now. She did not infiltrate the separatists as assigned."

Obi-Wan looked baffled at Mace's words. It was not like Ani not to complete a mission, or for the order to keep an effective General in the temple. Something must have gone terribly wrong.

"The force another mission for her had," cut in Yoda. Obi-Wan knew the green troll would never admit it but he suspected he had a soft spot for Skywalker.

"Yoda believes she was summoned to Mortis," Mace continued, though from the tone of his voice Obi-Wan could tell that he did not completely share Yoda's belief. Obi-Wan could understand his reluctance. He had thought Mortis was only a legend.

"Mortis?" he asked when neither elaborated. Mortis was whispered by some to be the birth place of the force. The home of the greatest force users in history. It was whispered they were locked there together in a constant battle between the dark and the light.

Yoda only nodded in response.

"What happened?" he asked, looking to Mace for more information.

"The 501st reports that they found themselves outside of known space. Then Ani abandoned them to take a shuttle out on her own. Told them that the force was summoning her. They found her shuttle floating back to the ship later in the same day. She was unresponsive, but their navigation was back online and they were able to return to Coruscant with her. She did not regain consciousness for several days."

Obi-Wan looked to Yoda for his interpretation but he did not give it and Mace continued.

"The healer's think that she suffered some sort of trauma. Her memories of what happened are murky but she did speak of the brother, of him trying to trick her. She was very upset when she re-gained consciousness."

Obi-Wan knew that the brother was supposedly the manifestation of the dark side of the force.

"Show her a vision I believe he did," Yoda said when he finally spoke. "But share with me she will not."

Obi-Wan nodded, realizing that this is what they wanted from him. To see if he could find out exactly what had happened to Ani. To ensure she had not been corrupted by the dark side.

"Her experiences on Mortis, or wherever she went, combined with her grief at your death, has us worried about her stability. We thought perhaps you could find out more about what happened. We will assign you to do a few joint missions before she is re-deployed alone."

Obi-Wan felt smug for a minute that his original assessment - that assigning a newly minted knight all alone in deep undercover space by herself was a bad idea - had been correct and Mace was more or less admitting it. But then he realized everything that Mace had said.

"You let Ani believe I was dead?" he asked, looking in shock between the two Masters.

"She needs to accept…."

"I will speak with her," he agreed tersely, quickly making his way out of the council room before he said or did something he regretted. He made his way to his former padawan's room in record time, ignoring the few shocked Jedi who he ran into who still believed him dead.

Ani's room was empty when he got there.

XOXOXOXO

Ani looked at the chancellor. Tried to process his words. At first she felt relief, like a great pain had suddenly been lifted. But then the anger came. Anger that crashed in waves upon her.

"Really my dear. I'm surprised that the council kept this from you. Obi-Wan was never dead, only in deep undercover protecting me. I can understand the Jedi Council's discretion, but I'm surprised Obi-Wan let them keep this from you. I would have told them to tell you if I knew. I care far more for you than my own safety."

"I…" Ani couldn't think of anything to say. She had been in mourning for weeks. Had been in so much pain. Pain that they had knowingly inflicted upon her when she was already hurting.

"I understand my dear. No doubt you wish to speak with your former Master. We can cut our visit short."

She smiled thankfully at the chancellor before rushing out of the senate building.

He was sitting in her room when she got back to the temple. Just sitting there like he hadn't been dead and haunting her for weeks.

"How could you?" she demanded as he stood up to greet her.

"Ani, I…."

"No. I don't want to hear your excuses," she shot back.

He stepped towards her, and she instinctually moved towards him before remembering herself and taking a step back.

"The force summoned me Obi-wan," she began, not meeting his eyes. "When I was out in space. It took me in and tested me. Showed me horrible things. But I pushed the dark side back. So that future wouldn't happen, and you wouldn't end up dead. That she wouldn't kill you."

When she finally looked up Obi-Wan was looking at her, pity in his eyes. She could not stand it.

"When I got back they told me you were already dead," she cried, her anger melting into tears. "You were dead and my worst nightmare was true."

She fell towards him in her distress, punching against him before sobbing as he pulled her into his embrace. He smelled like tea leaves and engine oil. But he didn't hold her for very long.

"Who wouldn't kill me?" he asked, studying her face as he pulled away from her.

"No one," she said, turning away from him. But she could feel his eyes on the back of her head.

"My daughter," she finally responded, not meeting his eyes. Because she knew that was who Leia was in her heart in a way she didn't know it from the visions. "In the vision. She killed you with a red light saber."

Obi-Wan didn't say anything for a long time. Then he smiled. "Ani, I do not think you have to worry about that future. You are not going to have a daughter who becomes a Sith and kills me. It's absurd."

Ani felt her face color. Of course the visions were just manipulations of the brother. Meant to confuse her. To make her imagine feelings and possibilities that weren't possible at all. She wanted to flee but when she turned towards the door someone was standing in the entryway, blocking her escape.

"Interrupting am I?" asked Yoda.

Obi-Wan reluctantly left with Yoda. You didn't have much choice when the Grand Master asked to speak with you.

"The force, swirling around young Skywalker it was."

Obi-Wan could only agree. But a second later he found himself bluntly telling Yoda that it was likely the fact that Ani had been haunted with a vision of his death on Mortis only to be told he was dead when she returned to Coruscant that was upsetting her.

"Yes, issues with attachment has she," Yoda agreed.

Obi-Wan dared not comment.

"But not to speak of Skywalker I called you. A transmission from the Duchess of Mandalore received we have."

XOXOXO

Obi-Wan was worried about Satine. He knew things had to be bad on Mandalore if she was willfully asking for his help. But he was surprised that Yoda was letting him go. He clearly hadn't cleared the mission with the council. He had the distinct feeling that once Obi-Wan had told him about Ani's vision that Yoda no longer wanted them to spend any time together. He felt bad leaving her, but perhaps it was for the best. Though he had procured Yoda's promise that Ani would not be dispatched on any missions until he returned.

End Chapter 7