Chapter 7: In the Shadows
(Trigger Warning: Suicide, self-harm.)
About two months after her battle with Kaiden Kellas in the Trials of Osiris, Elika received a mysterious transmission from the disgruntled Hunter. He reached out through a third party, which seemed odd, and gave her coordinates to his location before ending the transmission. She wondered why he couldn't just contact her via his Ghost like a normal Guardian. He's been way too sketchy lately and it made her suspicious. It felt like a set-up but something about the whole thing concerned her. He had no reason to contact her at this point, so what could he possibly want?
"He probably wants to kill you." Drifter was sprawled out on her bed staring up at the ceiling while she equipped her armor and guns.
"He can't." She responded concisely before looking over to see that the man on her bed had shifted his gaze onto her. There was an unusual amount of worry in his eyes. "Is something on your mind?"
"It's nothin'. Just a rumor. If you think it's fine then it's fine." Elika cocked an eyebrow at this response but didn't push further. She was not keen on adding to her already overwhelming anxiety with a simple rumor. If he didn't think it was necessary to tell her then she wasn't going to insist.
"Just you and me on this one, okay? I'm keeping everyone else out of it until I know more." She reached down and helped Drifter off the bed, pulling him into a hug.
"I'll be close by if you need me, tiánxīn." Both the Rogue Lightbearer and the Hunter Vanguard shared a brief kiss before they transmatted to their respective ships and made their way towards the meeting point.
The coordinates she was given led her to a series of caves in the Tangled Shore. The entrance was well off the beaten path; it took Elika nearly 2 hours just to get to the place. On top of that she had to crawl through some tight spaces and navigate a minefield just to make her way into the area of the cave system where Kaiden was presumably located. After some more spelunking she finally came to a room that was a dead end. There were some boxes spread around and a small cot. It looked lived in but there was no sign of Kaiden. She took a few more steps into the room as the clack of her footsteps echoed through the chamber.
"Kaiden? Are you in here?" She spoke in a whisper as the acoustics of the room made every sound ten times louder. She heard some shuffling before Kaiden's voice broke out from behind a crate at the back of the room.
"Are you alone?" He asked.
"Yes." There was silence for a moment before she heard the clank of his gun falling to the ground.
"Good." He mumbled. She moved slowly towards his position and as she made her way around the crate she saw a rather gruesome sight. There was blood everywhere, splattered on the floor and the wall. Some of it seemed to be Eliksni but most of it was Human. She saw Kaiden sitting in a small pool of red blood, covered in scrapes and bruises. His armor was strewn about the floor and he was in his underclothes.
"What the fuck happened?" Elika fell to her knees, took off her helmet, and began to tend to a bad gunshot wound on his right side, below the ribs. It was a few days old, by the look of it. As she touched the area to assess the wound he flinched away, as if he was afraid of her. She reached out to grab his hand in an attempt to comfort him only to notice a series of cuts along the inside of his forearms. Some were deep, deeper than they should be, and a few were scabbed over but many of them appeared to be fresh. As she looked over the plethora or wounds on his body she realized someone was missing. "Where's Baldur?"
"He's…" The Hunter paused, brought to tears by the mention of his Ghost. "He's dead."
"How?" Elika inquired with a desperate inflection in her voice. "How did this happen?"
"I made a mistake, El." Kaiden burst into tears and Elika immediately pulled him into a hug. Prior to their falling out, Elika and Kaiden had a sibling-like relationship. They were competitive with each other, sometimes even antagonistic, yet they always had each other's backs. They were often called "the twins" by folks around the Tower as many thought they were actual siblings despite one being Awoken and the other being Human. Their bond was just that deep. Something changed in him along the way and it took Elika way too long to realize that he wasn't himself anymore. Sadly, he had begun to alienate himself from her long before they faced Riven. He had been on his own for far too long and she knew she should have been there for him sooner.
They sat together in a silent embrace for a while. She rubbed his back tenderly as he sobbed into her shoulder. It felt like all the strife between them had vanished and was replaced by something that had long since faded away: camaraderie. After he took a moment to compose himself in her arms, Elika backed away and reached down to hold his hands.
"Spaghetti, can you help him?" Elika's Ghost appeared and hovered above Kaiden while scanning his wounds.
"These wounds are extensive. Some are even self inflicted. He's not my Guardian though, Elika. I can guide you through a bandaging process but that's about it." Spaghetti looked helplessly at Elika, who then looked nervously at Kaiden. She instantly sprung up and began searching for some fresh bandages while Spaghetti transmatted a medical kit from Elika's ship in front of Kaiden. He looked up at the wounded Guardian and hesitated before asking, "Is Baldur really dead?"
"Yes…" Kaiden dropped his head, clearly grieving the loss of his Ghost. Elika made her way back and began dressing the wound with Spaghetti's help. She has seen this done on non-Guardian's during the war but had never had to dress a wound herself. Guardians get so used to the privilege of Ghosts that they often forget what it's like to be without their Light. She took off his undershirt and ignited Solar energy in her hand. She used it to cauterize the wound before applying an ointment and wrapping it tightly in a clear bandage. After she finished with his side she moved on to his wrists.
"I'm sorry." Kaiden said weakly, tears still streaking down his face. Despite everything that had transpired between them in the past few months it killed her to see him this vulnerable. When she knew him he was always so self-assured yet here he sat, completely broken.
"Don't be. I'm here now, I won't leave you like this." She kept her eyes on her work, making sure to be gentle so as not to hurt him further. "I didn't know it had gotten this bad."
"Why would you? I did a damn good job of shoving you as far away from me as possible." Kaiden spoke softly, replacing his usual animosity with a tone of remorse.
"You had a good reason. I don't blame you. In fact, I blame myself for not seeing what was happening to you sooner."
"It's not like I made it easy, El." He chuckled lightly, squeezing Elika's hand while she applied ointment and bandaged his other arm.
"Why did you do this to yourself?" Elika paused to look at him as he hung his head in distress.
"I just want it to end. I can't do this anymore, not without Baldur. He was the only friend I had and now he's just gone. I don't know how to live without my Ghost." The wounded Hunter slumped down while Elika maintained her hold on his hand. She hesitated to respond, mostly because she didn't know what to say. She wanted to tell him it would be alright but how could she possibly know that? If Spaghetti was killed she wouldn't know what to do either. "I fucked up, I burned every single bridge I had. I have no one and it's my fault. I was just so thickheaded and stupid. What do I even do now?"
"You come home. We're still your friends Kaiden, even if we don't act like it anymore. It's not all your fault, I fucked up too. It was easier for me to paint you as some kind of villain rather than acknowledge that I neglected you, so I watched you struggling and never lifted a finger. I am so very sorry." A tear fell down Elika's cheek and onto the hand she was holding. Kaiden lifted his free hand to wipe the next one off her cheek.
"I guess we are both shitty friends, huh?" He leaned forward to rest his head on Elika's shoulder before faintly saying, "I don't want to be alone anymore."
"You'll never be alone again, brother." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around the man in front of her. She was once again reminded of the mortality of those she cares about, just like when Ghaul took everyone's Light during the Red War. Never again would she turn her back on a friend, even one as hard to deal with as Kaiden. He was her brother, always and forever.
"Wait, did you shoot yourself?" Elika inquired after realizing that he most likely didn't, based on the location of the wound, meaning someone else shot him. Probably the same person who killed Baldur.
"No, it was him. The Man... with the Go..." Kaiden said languidly as he began to slip in and out of consciousness.
"He's lost a lot of blood but my scans indicate he will live. He probably shouldn't stay here, though. Maybe we sh-" Elika held her hand up, abruptly cutting Spaghetti off as she heard the sound of heavy footfall entering the room. She looked at Spaghetti, holding her finger to her mouth to encourage the Ghost to stay silent. Still crouched behind a crate, she moved to cover Kaiden's body with her own. She braced herself over him with her left arm while her right arm grabbed for The Last Word, which was holstered on her thigh.
"I need you both to transmat onto the Derelict, it's in range." Elika spoke to Spaghetti in a hurried whisper.
"I'm not leaving you." The Ghost responded sternly.
"This isn't a debate! Tell Drifter that Shin Malphur is here and that the three of you need to leave right now." Elika spoke harshly at her Ghost before he finally relented. As soon as he and Kaiden disappeared Elika stood up slowly.
"Where is he?" Shin Malphur, The Man with the Golden Gun, asked bluntly.
"Not here." Elika responded as she moved out from behind the crate, showing the man the gun in her hand without pointing it at him.
"I gave you that gun, Elika. Don't you dare threaten me with it." Shin hissed. The two of them began slowly walking towards each other, closing the short gap between them in the small cave.
"It's not a threat, just a precaution. You're looking a little cagey buddy. It's freaking me out." Elika stopped a few feet in front of him. He stopped in response and stood still for a moment before lunging at her with lightning speed. He swept one leg out from under her, dropping her to a knee as he grabbed a fistful of her hair. He pulled her head back sharply before activating his Golden Gun and placing it against the underside of her chin. The Solar energy flared up against her face, singeing her skin as she growled angrily.
"Where are you keeping him?" Shin roared before Elika knocked the Solar gun away from her face and shoved him.
"What the hell are you doing? I'm not some fucking criminal, Malphur!" Elika shouted, which echoed around the room. He stood still for a moment, assessing the situation, before finally deactivating the Golden Gun and taking off his helmet.
"Kaiden Kellas. He's your friend, right?" He spoke gruffy, but seemed less angry than he was before.
"He is. I take it you killed his Ghost?" Elika was still quite livid, refusing to let her guard down, but she holstered her weapon as a sign of peace. The two Hunters had previously worked together before he gave her his infamous gun, The Last Word, with the hope that she would carry on his quest to kill all those who followed in Dredgen Yor's footsteps. He also gave her Thorn, the Weapon of Sorrow that has the ability to kill Ghosts. He's a good man but a zealous one, for better or worse.
"I did." He spoke with indifference, as if it didn't bother him in the slightest. Kaiden's Ghost, Baldur, was a friend of Elika and Spaghetti's and the four of them were very close back in the day. Malphur's flippant attitude annoyed her.
"You're collecting more Weapons of Sorrow, then?" She narrowed her eyes at the infamous Hunter. She knew that the only way to kill a Ghost was with a gun like Thorn but he gave that to her, which left her wondering how he did it.
"Don't need a gun." He pulled out a knife that appeared to be carved from a Thorn bullet and spun it around in his hand gracefully. He reached into his pocket with his other hand, pulling something out and throwing it at her. Elika caught it with a gasp, looking over the dead Ghost in her hands with pain in her eyes. He was so cold, so broken. His eye was shattered by what she assumed was the knife that Shin was holding. She looked back up at Shin with indignation before continuing.
"I assume this has to do with Kaiden's contact with the Shadows?" Elika held onto Baldur tightly as Malphur raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"So you're aware that he's associated with the Shadows, then?" Shin crossed his arms, awaiting an explanation from the Hunter Vanguard.
Kaiden Kellas had briefly fallen in with the Shadows of Yor awhile back. Elika knew this because she had been secretly keeping tabs on him since his betrayal in the Keep of Voices. As soon as she was appointed to her Vanguard position she tasked a trusted friend, a Hunter named Lor-5, with the sole duty of gathering information on Kaiden. After he was given a soft ban from Tower activities he fell in with a variety of nefarious criminals, the most recent of which was a man who happened to be obsessed with Dredgen Yor. Elika closely monitored the situation but was unable, and frankly unwilling, to intercede at the time given Uldren Sov's rebirth. To her knowledge Kaiden had never pledged himself to the Shadows. He had become a lone warrior since his split with Elika and it was unlikely that he would allow himself to become indoctrinated by such a fringe group. After she defeated her old friend in combat in the Trials of Osiris she stopped receiving reports due to lack of information. Kaiden had seemingly disappeared and she assumed that was the end of it.
"I am aware, yes." Elika replied in earnest.
"How?" Shin asked with a hint of skepticism.
"I'm the Hunter Vanguard. I know a lot of things."
"So it didn't bother you that he aligned with the Shadows? After everything I've told you?" Shin was offended at the notion of the Guardian who he entrusted his legacy to suddenly turning a blind eye on the work she promised to help him finish.
"Yeah it bothered me but he dropped it so I didn't feel the need to intercede. If you knew that he was my friend and that he was associating with the Shadows why didn't you contact me first?" Elika stood her ground on the issue.
"You were busy. I heard the Sov boy was back." He had grown tired of posturing and finally relaxed his shoulders. After all, he and Elika were currently on good terms with one another. "I trust you, kid. Always have. But I figured I'd just take care of him for you and tell you about it after the fact. You're a bit too close to this."
"Take care of him? So you meant to kill him and then just casually mention it to me later? No, you have no right t-"
"I have no right? Shin fucking Malphur has no right? Just because he's your friend doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants. There's a cost to the shit he's involved in Elika, you've known that for as long as you've known me."
"Look, I get it. I'm not saying he can just 'do whatever he wants'. Let me deal with him, okay? I'll admit that I made a mistake and should have followed up with the Shadows thing. But I'll take responsibility for getting him back on the right path, I owe that to him. You've done enough." She beseeched him.
"Fine. He's yours but I'm only doing this because it's you. If you fuck this up then I'll be coming for you both. I don't take this shit lightly." Shin moved in towards Elika, getting close enough so that he could lean in and whisper in her ear. "I know what you and your paramour are up to in the Ascendant Realm. I also know that you made contact with the Darkness on the Moon and came out intrigued. You had better do yourself a favor and pledge yourself fully to the Light, Elika, or I'm going to be taking those guns back off your dead body. I'm watching all three of you now."
He spoke so quietly that she could hardly hear him over the sound of her own heart beating in her ears. Her eyes widened as she took in the severity of Shin Malphur's threat. How did he know all this? An uneasy feeling overcame the Hunter Vanguard as the man in front of her backed away just slightly so that their noses were practically touching. He looked her in the eyes for a moment, never blinking, with a knowing smile on his face. Then he took a step back and put his helmet on before walking away. He turned towards her one last time, pretending to shoot her with a finger gun, before backing out of the room entirely.
Elika gasped for breath, realizing she had been holding it in for a while now. She held her hand up and saw that it was shaking. Without further hesitation she did a quick sweep of the room to make sure Kaiden hadn't left any of his belongings. All she could find was a blood covered necklace that she gave to him a long time ago. It made her smile to know that he had kept it after all this time. She held on to the necklace along with Baldur's shell as she transmatted back to her ship. She sat still in the pilot's seat, completely taken aback but what just happened, before snapping back to reality. As soon as she set a course for The Derelict's new location she departed the Tangled Shore with urgency.
Upon arriving on Drifter's ship, Elika quickly made her way towards the makeshift workshop in the back. As she rounded the corner into the room she saw Kaiden asleep on the bed while Drifter and Spaghetti watched over him, talking quietly to each other. Elika approached the large storage container in the back of the room as silently as possible before knocking on the wall, causing Spaghetti to turn towards her. He gasped and then bounced eagerly towards his Guardian, resting his shell in the crook of her neck.
"I didn't feel you arrive!" The Ghost seemed confused. Normally he would have felt a surge in her Light as soon as she arrived on the Derelict.
"I wanted to surprise you so I suppressed myself." She smiled. Spaghetti backed away and looked at her with a pouty expression before eventually smiling back.
"I'm just so glad you're back." It was rare for the two of them to spend any time apart, but they had never been this far apart from each other before. After allowing the Guardian and the Ghost a moment, Drifter approached and enveloped Elika in a loving embrace.
"I was startin' to worry." He spoke softly while holding on to her tightly. He maintained the embrace for longer than usual and she could feel that he was shaking ever so slightly. He stepped back and put his hands on her shoulders. "You okay? Did he shoot you?"
"I don't think I'd be here if he did." Elika joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. Drifter, Spaghetti, and Elika all laughed together. The joke was far from funny but it did help them to relax their frayed nerves. However, their laughing caused Kaiden to awaken in a confused panic. Elika quickly moved to calm him down before he hurt himself.
"You're safe, you're on The Derelict. Everything is okay." She attempted to comfort him as she sat next to him on the makeshift bed. He nodded as he began to feel safer and she continued, "I'm going to get you back on your feet, Kaiden. I don't know if it will ever be like it was before but you're not alone anymore. You'll never be alone again. I promise."
"I don't know what to say…" He mumbled, still slightly dazed. Elika waited a moment before handing him the necklace and his former Ghost's shell.
"I'm so sorry about Baldur."
"Did you find him? The Man with the Golden Gun?" Kaiden looked worriedly at her. He set the necklace down next to him and took Baldur's Lightless shell in his hands, holding him tenderly.
"He found me. Don't worry, I took care of it. Just don't do anything stupid and you're in the clear." Elika punched his shoulder lightly and smiled. She was right to assume that their relationship would probably never be the same. However that didn't mean they couldn't be friends, even if they weren't as close as they used to be. Kaiden eventually laid back down, placing Baldur's shell on the pillow next to him, and attempted to go back to sleep.
Elika sat with her old friend for a while and once he was completely asleep she stood up and motioned for Drifter and Spaghetti to follow her. The three of them made their way out to the main deck of the ship before Elika turned to them, speaking in a whisper.
"Bad news. He knows."
"Knows what?" Drifter inquired.
"About the Throne World, the Darkness, everything." Elika continued.
"What about the Darkness?" Spaghetti looked at her, somewhat confused.
"That I… That I'm not afraid of it." Elika confessed. Spaghetti had been consumed by the Darkness when she met with it on the Moon. Afterwards she decided to keep her curiosity about the entity to herself, only telling Drifter in private about how she was feeling in order to keep Spaghetti from worrying.
"You don't mean you plan to join it, do you?" Spaghetti was a Ghost and therefore he couldn't actually cry, but the inflection in his voice indicated that he would have been doing so if he could. To him, this felt like Elika admitting that she would part ways with him at some point since he couldn't follow her into the Darkness.
"No, not entirely. Spaghetti I'd never leave you or the Light. We can talk more about this later, and I promise I'll tell you everything, but right now we have more pressing matters."
"More pressing than The Darkness?" Spaghetti asked.
"Yes. Shin Malphur knows about all of this, about everything. I have no idea how but he threatened all three of us: Me, Xiang, and Kaiden." Elika began fiddling nervously with her fingers. She looked to Drifter, expecting him to be mad, but he sat there quietly processing the information for a few minutes before finally responding.
"Then we have to be more careful. I must have slipped up somewhere along the way." The Drifter spoke with a level of solemnity that Elika had never heard before. "It's fine, we can figure it out. What are we going to do about the backstabber in there?"
"I'll take him to the Tower and talk to Zavala and Ikora about getting him a job in The City. I can watch over him there and make sure he stays out of trouble." Elika had thought a lot about what she'd do with Kaiden on her way to The Derelict.
"Maybe you should start a group for all your little projects: Elika's Home for Broken Guardians" Drifter joked. Elika laughed but quickly got back on track.
"He won't be living with me, at least. I don't have the space and I don't think I could handle that anyway. There's still a lot of bad blood between us. I'll see if Lucinia can take him in." She replied.
"Sounds like a good plan." Spaghetti confirmed. It was clear that Elika was still anxious as her sullen eyes betrayed the smile on her face. Still fiddling with her fingers, she let her eyes fall to a random spot in the floor and stared at it intently. Drifter moved up to her and lifted her chin up softly with a single finger.
"We'll get through this." He reassured her. "Those pyramid ships are gettin' mighty close and we have an awful lot on our plates as it is. You think you can handle the pressure, Hunter Vanguard?"
"I know I can." Elika replied with confidence. Drifter knew that one of the best ways to get Elika out of her own head was to challenge her and this time it worked. "We'll handle it together, thick and thin."
"Thick and thin, bǎobèi." Drifter winked at her and reached down to hold her hand while Spaghetti hovered between them.
The Drifter transmatted some snacks for him and Elika to eat while the three of them sat on the deck of the Derelict silently. Spaghetti had so many questions for his Guardian and knew that they were in dire need of a good, long talk.
Drifter had a billion thoughts on his mind but tried his best to focus on the thoughts that could keep him and Elika stay out of Shin Malphur's sights.
Elika had yet another massive undertaking laid before her. Not only did she now have Kaiden and Shin to worry about, but the Darkness was closing in fast. Rasputin's map of the solar system showed the pyramid ships around Uranus. On top of all that was Uldren, who she had been training for the past two months. He was doing well but was far from ready to face what was barreling down on them from the outer reaches of space.
The Hunter Vanguard was stretched thin, but what else is new?