Chapter 8
I walk back into the room where my family is and as soon as Mas sees me, he comes up to me and cups my face. Putting his forehead to mine he whispers "You are perfect and you are mine." I don't speak but I nod my head that I understand. My mom and Nico walk over. I pull away from Mas just a little and look at them. I see the question in their eyes and nod that I am okay. My grandmother comes over and I ask "Mom said you're having him cremated?" She nods and says "Yes baby. I know this should have been your decision with you being his daughter but…" she says and I stop her. "Let him burn." I say and for the first time since my rape, I was erilly calm. Everyone looks at me shocked. "Do you know what he said to me? The last conversation I had with him?" I ask and my Nonna, aunts, uncles and cousins all look at me, listening. "He called me. He found out that I was staying with Nico and Massimo. Asked me if I was sleeping with Mas too. Asked me if I was really raped. Told me that I was an embarrassment. I don't know what I did to make him hate me so much." I say and the tears start falling. Mas is quick to wrap his arms around me and holds me close. "I am right here baby girl. I've got you." he tells me. My grandmother walks over and I hear her say "We all know what happened to you sweetheart. We are all here for you. Whatever you need." she tells me and I look at her. "Thank you Nonna." I say and she rubs my back while Mas holds me.
We all head back to Nonna's house and I am sitting beside her on the couch, my head on her shoulder, holding her hand and Mas is across the room with my mom and Nico. "She close to her Nonna?" Mas asks. "She has always been close to her. Toni and her father, they never were really close. But her and Nonna were thick as thieves when she was a kid." Mom says and they just smile softly looking at me. "Do you think this is going to throw her back?" my mom asks. "I don't know." Nico says. Mas looks at my mom and says "I'll do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen.
After spending the day at Nonna's, we head to my mom's house. Walking in, I tell them "I'm going to shower." Mom and Nico just nod but Mas follows me up to my room. I get my things together and just stand there a minute and the tears finally start to fall and he's right there, putting his arms around me. "It's okay baby girl. Let it out." he whispers and I sob harder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I sob and he just holds me as close as he can get me. "Shhh. Baby girl." he says and I pull away from him. "Why did he hate me? Was I that bad of a kid?" I ask. "No baby girl. You are fucking perfect. That was on him. Not you." he tells me. I shake my head and he walks up to me and cups my face and makes me look at him. "Listen to me baby girl. This is not on you. You are perfect. You mom and Nonna love you. Nico loves you. I love you." he tells me and I look into his eyes. "Mas…" I start. "No baby girl. I love you. It doesn't matter what he thought. He isn't here anymore. He doesn't matter. You are the only one that matters." he tells me. I look into his eyes again and he says "I love you baby girl." I kiss him softly and say "I love you too Mas. Thank you." He kisses me one more time and says "Get a shower. I'll be right here." he tells me and I nod before heading to the shower.
Getting out of the shower, I get dressed into something comfortable and walk back into my room and see Mas still sitting on the foot of my bed. He holds out his hand and I take it. He pulls me close to stand between his legs. With his hands on my hips, my hands on his shoulders, he looks up at me and asks "Are you okay Baby Girl?" I nod my head yes and he asks "What do you need from me?" I move to sit in his lap and he holds me as close as he can get me and I cling to him. "I just need you." I whisper and feel him kiss my temple. "You really love me?" I ask. "With all my heart baby girl." he tells me. He kisses me softly and I say "I love you too Mas."