I hope you can all understand what is going for both Lily and Scorpius and that I managed to convey their emotions correctly :) Tell me with a comment maybe?

Wasteland

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With one hand on her stomach and her jaw clenched, Lily was walking fast. She wanted to put as much distance between her and those blasted dungeons before the inevitable breakdown she knew was coming. Her heart felt like a ticking bomb inside her chest, her stomach was hurting, her head pulsating and her eyes growing wetter by the second, but she held on.

She climbed the stairs leading to the ground floor hurriedly and just as she reached the main hallway, she exploded.

She immediately doubled over, letting her knees hit the floor, as she uselessly cradled her stomach with her arms as if it could help soothe her bruised heart and lessen her nausea. She sobbed silently, crying over something she had been so certain she'd never cry about.

She had never intended to fall for Scorpius. But she had. She had fallen for him hard and fast, her traitorous little heart acting on its own. And just as she had felt her heart crumble after hearing Scorpius' word, she had understood why. She had feelings for him.

But he likes someone else, Lily told herself, her nausea worsening as she remembered his words.

She closed her eyes, sniffing loudly as a new river of tears escaped them. How she wished she could go back to the blissful ignorance of her feelings. It would have been all so simple if she had still just seen him as a friend with whom she had casual sex with. His announcement would have only been inconvenient, not heart wrenching like it currently was. She certainly wouldn't have been ugly crying in the middle of the night, kneeling on the floor in an empty hallway.

But she was the only one to blame for this whole debacle. She had asked for this. Not the heartbreak specifically, but she had been the one who'd come up with the sex friends plan, the one who had insisted they try. She remembered how sure of herself she had been when'd she'd told Scorpius she wouldn't get attached. How adamant he had been that she shouldn't.

She sighed painfully, her flow of tears slowly receding.

Her only silver lining was Scorpius' promise not to flaunt his next relationship in front of her. Whoever the girl was, for whom he was falling, she really hoped she wouldn't see them snogging before a long time.

She would actually prefer never to see them snogging, holding hand,s or even stand next to each other, but that simply wasn't realistic. She just had to accept that soon, the boy she had fallen in love with would be dating another.

That realization hurt but it did help Lily clear her head a little. No matter how hard she would cry, how long she would stay alone in the dark, it wouldn't make it any less true. It was time for her to dry her tears and get up. Slowly but surely, she got back on her feet and started walking. But she didn't take the direction of the Gryffindor Tower. Instead, she went west and started climbing the stairs leading to the Ravenclaw tower. She arrived quickly in front of the common room door, with its bronze knocker, and waited for its riddle.

"What has to be broken before you eat it?" came a mechanical voice from the eagle's beak.

Immediately after hearing "broken", the word heart came to Lily's mind, a good indication of how hurt and sad she was. But she knew that wasn't the correct answer of course, it wouldn't have made any sense. Even if Scorpius had unknowingly damaged her heart, he wasn't going to eat it.

"The answer is an egg," she said after thinking about it.

Since she visited the Ravenclaw common room quite frequently, she'd become accustomed to the knocker's riddle and had developed a liking for them. It wasn't that difficult anymore for her to entre to the common room.

The eagle closed its beak and Lily heard the door unlock. She opened it and stepped inside the blue common room. It was empty, except for two 6th or 7th year studying at the table near one of the windows, who both looked up from their books at Lily's entrance.

Neither of them stopped her though as she marched through the common room as if she owned it, and toward the stairs leading to the dormitories.

She found her way easily and opened the door to the 5th year boys dormitory. All lights were out inside it and a light snore was coming from one of the bed to her left, but Lily walked silently toward the bed that she knew Lorcan occupied.

She opened the blue and bronze curtains of the four-poster bed and after taking off her shoes and robes, she climbed into it, finding herself a little spot next to her friend.

"Lily?" she heard Lorcan whisper next to her as she shimmied under the bedcover.

"Yeah it's me," she whispered back "Can I sleep here tonight?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Lorcan turned around in the bed so they were facing each other. One look at Lily's white face, puffed up eyes and trembling lips was all it took before Lorcan wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against him.

"Of course,"

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"You look like Hell," was the first thing Albus said to Scorpius, as he took a sit next to him on Thursday morning.

It was true. He had dark circles under his eyes, his skin was even paler than usual, and his usually perfect blond hair was sticking in every direction. He was far from the perfect Malfoy heir today, and unfortunately, Malfoys weren't supposed to get days off.

"I haven't been getting much sleep lately," Scorpius shrugged.

"Usually that statement would mean you spent a very fun night with a witch, but somehow I don't think that's what you meant," his best friend commented.

Of course, Albus had noticed the sudden changes in Scorpius' behaviour. But curiously he had left his friend alone, instinctively giving him some space. But apparently, three days was all the time Albus was ready to give Scorpius.

"I got an annoying letter from my father, that's all," Scorpius full-on lied, knowing that particular subject would shut Albus up.

He almost never lied to Albus, but today he simply couldn't satiate his best friend's need to know everything.

The truth was, he hadn't gotten any sleep since that night in the dungeon but had been replaying his conversation with Lily endlessly in his head instead.

His nights were now filled with remorse and regret as he remembered all their moments together since the end of summer. Lily's bold proposition. Their first kiss and their first time together. The way she had felt under his hands. The way she'd touched him. The way her smile warmed his heart, the way their bickering always made him laugh. The way her eyes had filled with tears when he'd told her he wanted to end things.

Telling her he was starting to have feelings for someone probably hadn't been the kindest way to end things, he knew that. But it was the simple truth. He was starting to have feelings for her, and it was precisely why he had to crush any sort of affection she might have had toward him.

He couldn't let her fall in love with him, because he would just end up breaking her heart. And maybe his in the process.

He'd had to be brutal now to avoid being cruel later, but he still regretted it profoundly.

"Potter!" Alec Zabini exclaimed as he sat down across from Scorpius "Did you hear?"

Scorpius felt Albus' attention shift to Alec but didn't pay him any mind himself. Until he heard Lily's name.

" … apparently she spent the night there," Alec finished his sentence before glancing behind him, toward where Lily was seating next to the Scamander twins.

"Wait what?" Albus asked, to Scorpius' relief.

He desperately needed Alec to repeat what he'd just said.

"A few guys from Ravenclaw said Lily woke up in Scamander's bed and that she'd apparently spent the night there,"

Scorpius felt his hand tightened into fists, just as a hot white rage birthed inside him.

She spent the night with Scamander. She slept with him so soon after … Scorpius started raging internally but was cut short by Albus.

"That's nothing,"

Scorpius' eyes zeroed in on his best friend as the black-haired wizard shook his head lightly.

"Lorcan is her best friend. There's nothing there," he said "Actually, he and Lysander are probably the only two guys in Hogwarts whom I'm certain aren't after her knickers," he laughed loudly.

However, Scorpius didn't relax.

"Come on Albus, even if he is her best friend, that doesn't explain why she woke up in his bed. You never woke up in Scorpius' bed, yet he's your best friend," Alec retorted, throwing Scorpius a strange look.

"Of course not," Albus said with a disgusted face "but she's a girl. Girls do weird shit with their best friend,"

"Maybe they just do their best friend," Alec snickered, but quickly stopped after seeing the murderous look Albus through him.

"I'm telling you, there's nothing there," Albus's statement was final, and Scorpius forced himself to believe his best friend.

Lily wouldn't have done that. She wouldn't have just slept with someone, days after they were over. But then, he had hurt her, had been just a little too brutal maybe. People did stupid things when they were hurt.

He looked at the Ravenclaw table where Lily sat next to one of the twins, which one he couldn't tell.

She was talking with her friends, looking beautiful as ever. Her blazing hair was falling around her face, setting a nice contrast to her perfect white complexion. Apparently, Scorpius was the only one who was having trouble sleeping.

No, Scorpius shook his head.

He wouldn't think the worth of her. She was sad, and she'd gone to her best friend for comfort. Platonic comfort.

Yes, that was it, he thought, as he looked toward Lily again, just in time to see her rest her head on the shoulder of the Scamander sitting next to her. Just like she had sometimes done right after they'd had sex.

Probably feeling his eyes on her, Lily looked up and their gazes met. Her hazel eyes were fixed on him for a few seconds before she gently smiled at him and looked away, and Scorpius felt his heart panged painfully at the casual dismissal.

Maybe she wasn't as sad as Scorpius had thought, anger flashing inside him.

"But Al, Billy Hodkins from Ravenclaw says she's slept there for the past three nights," Alec insisted, once again capturing Scorpius' interest.

Three nights?

That last comment succeeded in making Albus frown, as he probably started doubting himself.

Scorpius cleared his throat.

"Maybe their friendship evolved into something else," he stated matter of factly, perfectly hiding how much he hated this hypothesis.

Please, tell me I'm wrong, he chanted in his head, his fists still firmly clenched.

Alec and Albus both looked at him, pondering on what he'd said. The initial shock and excitement on Alec face had left room to plain old curiosity. For whatever reasons he was taking this whole thing to heart, at least as much as Albus. In fact, Lily's brother didn't look all that upset, contrary to what Scorpius would have thought. None of the anger Scorpius felt was reflected on his best friends' face, adding a feeling of betrayal to his already tumultuous emotions.

"You'd be cool with that?" Scorpius asked his friend, more a statement than a question.

Albus still took his time before replying, watching his sister interact with the Scamanders at the other end of the Great Hall.

"I guess so. That wouldn't be half bad actually," he granted "At least I'd be certain he loved her and he'd treat her right,"

That last sentence confirmed Scorpius' fear. If Lily were truly dating, or even just fucking one of the Scamander twins, Albus wouldn't do anything to stop it. Which meant Scorpius would have to endure seeing her with another. So much for not being obvious about seeing someone else.

Alec and Albus were still discussing the matter in a calmer fashion, but Scorpius had had enough. He was feeling cold and alone. The slow yet consistent painful beating of his heart was the exact reason why he didn't believe in love. Or more accurately, why he wanted to avoid it at all costs. If some small feelings like the one he had for Lily were already causing him so much pain and inconvenience, what would full out love be like? Why was everyone searching for love when it had the power to hurt them? It seemed like every shiver and every pleasure had to be paid with regrets and agony. In his eyes, it just wasn't worth it.

Scorpius took a deep breath and let out a low sigh. What was done was done. Let this be a lesson for him, one that taught him just how pointless feelings were.

"Well, that concludes it then," Scorpius announced, interrupting the two other wizards.

"Concludes what?" Albus asked him, confused.

"My celibacy,"

Alec and Albus' faces shifted to surprised expression, not quite understanding what was going on.

"I mean, if even your baby sister is getting laid," Scorpius said, barely containing his revulsion for the last two words, "Then I should really be getting some as well. Otherwise, the world would be upside-down," he joked, flashing his friends one of his signature grins. Which almost wasn't forced.

"Hey, we're still not certain my sister is getting … laid," Albus interjected and Alec shot him a sympathetic look that clearly said he was naive for believing that.

Lily's brother rolled his green eyes and let out a defeated sigh.

"So you're ready to get over your mysterious lover?" Alec asked, excitement starting to bloom in his eyes.

"Well, you know what they say. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else," the Malfoy heir smirked, sliding back into his character easily.

"Or behind," Albus jested with a big proud smile on his face.

"Do you already have a target?"

Scorpius shrugged.

"The school is full of beautiful witches, but I think I'll first get back in the game by revisiting some classics," he said, glancing at a group of Slytherin girls sitting to their right, thankfully out of earshot, which included Alexia Reinford and Ivy Cowley, two of his previous conquest.

The two other wizards followed his gaze and Alec clapped his hand.

"It's official, our favourite playboy is back!" he whooped.

"Actually, I prefer man-whore," Scorpius corrected with a devious smile "Mr. Man-whore,"