I'm sorry if you got the notification for this chapter twice. I'm not sure what was happening behind the scenes with FanFiction, but new chapters weren't showing up. So without further ado (fingers crossed!), chapter 18!

Piper always slept with her window open. In the morning she enjoyed the light gently waking her up, a beautiful warm ray of gold sneaking in through the gap in her curtains. In the evening she liked looking up at the stars - the few she could see through the light pollution, that was - and sleeping in the light of the moon.

That morning, a particularly breezy one, Alex woke up first. Her bedroom was usually cold, but she slept like a vampire. A sheet was pinned up over her window as drapes and when the nights hit below zero, she burrowed under her old and holey comforter like a little field mouse. Her eyes fluttered open and for a split second, she forgot where she was. She flipped over and came nose to nose with Piper, then suddenly she remembered.

Resisting the urge to reach out and touch Piper's face was hard. She loved watching her when she was awake, but there was something special about watching her sleep - not that she would ever admit that for fear of sounding creepy. She didn't have to worry about stealing furtive glances across the classroom, or catching her eye in the hallway. No, when she was alone with Piper, like this, it was different. And it felt good - really good.

Serene, Alex thought. Piper looked so peaceful. It was strange not seeing her mind at work. In the day you could almost see the cogs turning in her mind as she rambled. Now, her lips slightly parted as she let out soft breaths, she was a blank canvas.

Alex propped herself up on her elbow. Without her glasses the world was a little blurry around the edges, but sometimes she liked it better that way. Everything was a little softer. Easier to handle. If there were imperfections, she couldn't see them.

Piper groaned in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open after a few more minutes.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Alex murmured, raising her eyebrows. "Welcome to the land of the living. Finally."

"What time is it?" Piper asked, letting out a yawn. She looked over at her digital clock. "My alarm hasn't even gone off yet," she complained. "I must have felt your eyes burning into me."

"Is that so?" Alex laughed, looking away. She pulled the covers close to her chest, snuggling down. In Piper's ivory tower, it felt like she was untouchable. "Don't you wish we could just stay here forever?"

Piper wriggled down to be nose-to-nose with Alex. "Mm...I don't know," she admitted. "I don't think I wanna be here forever."

"Why?"

"Because you can hear every single word said in the kitchen from down here," she said. "I think it's because of the air vents. There's one under my bed."

Alex wrinkled her nose. "So? Does Miss Claudette sing too loudly whilst making Sunday pancakes?"

"Yep, that's it," Piper said, rolling her eyes. She looked away, chewing the inside of her cheek. "You know, not every single part of my life is easy because we don't have to worry about money."

Alex reached for Piper's hand under the covers and gave it a squeeze, pleased when Piper laced her fingers through hers. Though she felt that was the understatement of the century, she understood what Piper was trying to say.

"I know." A beat, and then she continued. "What do you hear?"

Piper hummed, then shrugged. "I was home sick from school one day, and Dad had already left for work...I heard the door opening. I thought it was Mom back from her book club, because I heard a woman laughing." She licked her lips, dry from the night, and frowned. "But it wasn't Mom."

Alex held back a sigh, counting the flecks in the paint on the ceiling. She could see where this was heading and she didn't like it.

"You can never unknow something, you know?" Piper looked up at Alex. "Once you've heard it, or read it, or seen it...that's it. I wish I had turned on some music. Or put my head under my pillow."

"I'm sorry," Alex said. The words hung in the air and though she wanted to say something, anything, to make Piper feel better, she couldn't find them in her mind. She hadn't expected such a heavy story when she'd watched Piper dreaming. "I can't imagine what that felt like."

She couldn't. She'd never had parents together. Her step mom and dad weren't exactly role model material. If her dad cheated, she wouldn't be surprised. Hell, she expected nothing less. It was different for Piper.

A beat of silence before she continued, "Did you tell your mom?"

Piper sighed. "I tried."

"What did she say?"

"She listened, and then she nodded. There was a moment where neither of us said anything and I wondered if she was going to break down crying, or start yelling at me, or throw the glass of wine she was drinking at the wall, but…"

"But?"

A little V formed between Piper's eyebrows as she frowned. "She just asked if I'd decided on the pink or the green for my prom dress yet."

"That's it?"

"Mm."

"I'm sorry."

Piper shrugged. "It's their marriage, I guess…"

"Maybe she knew?" Alex offered. She tangled her legs up in Piper's and snuggled closer. "I mean, it's not impossible, is it? Maybe she already knew and was trying to forget."

"Maybe," Piper echoed. "But I don't think I could ever forget if someone did that to me."

Alex looked at Piper. Who would cheat on you? The thought ran through her head, but she didn't say it. It wasn't appropriate.

"No," she agreed quietly. "Me either."

"Sleep well, girls?" Mrs Chapman asked brightly as Piper and Alex sat down at the breakfast table. She looked at Alex, who had borrowed one of Piper's sundresses for the day. "I like that dress on you, Alex. Suits you. It was always a little too long on Piper."

Alex gave a shy little half smile. She'd walked down the stairs tugging the damn dress down. It sat a little high for her liking. No doubt it was knee length on Piper, but Alex was taller. "Thanks. I should have packed something, but my head was all over the place yesterday. Thanks again for having me, Mrs Chapman. I really appreciate it."

"That's alright, Alex," Mrs Chapman said. "I've missed seeing your friends around, Piper," Carol continued, setting down two glasses of orange juice in front of them. "Makes me feel young again."

Piper rolled her eyes and took a swig from the glass. "Cal brought his friends round last week, doesn't that count?"

"No," Mrs Chapman said bluntly. "All that reminds me is that when I envisioned being a mother, I didn't imagine fishing my stockings out of the pool after my son used them as a makeshift balaclava. He scared Mrs Henderson half to death."

Alex snickered. "Poor Mrs Henderson."

"Poor Mrs Henderson!" Mrs Chapman echoed. Her hand on her hip, she sighed. "At least she gets to close the patio doors. I had to put up with that playdate for another hour and a half. Besides, I meant Polly. I haven't seen her for a while. I hope everything's alright between you two."

Alex peeked at Piper, wondering what she'd say. Polly had been playing on her mind too. She couldn't imagine not seeing Nicky for such a long time. Despite being a pain in the ass, she loved her too much to cut off. Even after everything.

Piper shrugged. "She's busy, I guess."

"Too busy for you?" Mrs Chapman asked, unimpressed. She perched on a chair, her coffee mug drawn to her lips. "Sounds like a fair-weather friend to me. You know, her mother left the PTA after only six months."

"Scandalous," Piper said with a raise of her eyebrows.

Alex hid a smirk.

"Anyway," Piper said, grabbing Alex's arm. "We ought to get going. I don't wanna be late."

"You're not staying for breakfast?" Mrs Chapman asked. Her eyes lingered on Alex, whose own gaze had fallen to the spread of breakfast foods laid out on the table. She looked at her watch. "You've still got plenty of time to get there."

Piper shook her head. "We'll just grab something from Starbucks on the way to school."

Mrs Chapman rolled her eyes and gestured to the table. "Honestly, I don't know why I bother."

Piper mirrored the eye roll. "Well, you didn't, did you? Miss Claudette did. Tell her to take it home. Her girls will like it."

"I wanted my girls to like it," Mrs Chapman complained. "Pancakes used to be your favorite, Piper."

Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "We could stay and have a little, Mrs Chapman, I'd hate to see it go to waste."

"She's just being dramatic," Piper said. "Cal and Danny will eat all this in like ten minutes, it won't go to waste." She stood up and grabbed her car keys from the hook, poised to leave.

"They already left for basketball practice," Mrs Chapman countered, but if Piper heard her, she didn't react.

Alex stayed sitting for a moment longer, feeling torn. Piper was waiting, but then so was Mrs Chapman - and she'd opened up her home to her. It didn't feel right just skipping out.

Piper reached out for her hand. "Come on, Alex."

Piper pulled her car into the school parking lot, sipping on her latte. Beside her, Alex nibbled on a muffin. After a few more bites she set it down in the cup holder, brushing crumbs from her lap. Piper turned to face her, unbuckling her belt.

"What, you don't like it?"

Alex shrugged. "It's a little dry," she said, wrinkling her nose. She gave Piper a reproachful glance. "The ones your mom set out looked way better. She looked so eager too."

Piper sighed. "Come on, Al. It's Tuesday. Who makes all that for a weekday breakfast? She's always so over the top, it can be embarrassing. Besides, you know she didn't set that out, right? Miss Claudette probably did it. She delegates everything. If she could pay someone to breathe for her she would."

"Oh, I'm sorry, your mom cares too much?" Alex crossed her arms over her chest, glancing out of the windscreen. She wasn't angry, exactly, but she was a little bitter. "You're lucky, you know."

Piper stared at Alex for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. "Your mom is going to be fine," she said, reaching out for Alex's hand. "You know that, right?" She gave hers a quick squeeze. "I'm sorry if I upset you. We'll stay next time. Even if it's raisin bran. Deal?"

Alex let out a little laugh. "Deal," she said, leaning over. Her lips hovered over Piper's when Piper gently pushed her away. It stung Alex's pride to say the least.

"Not here," Piper murmured, sneaking a glance out of the car window. She pressed her lips together and dropped her hand to graze Alex's bare knee. "I'm sorry, but you get it, don't you?"

Alex sighed but nodded. She tried not to show the disappointment on her face. "Come on," she said. "We'll be late if we don't get going anyway."

"Did you hear that Mrs Figueroa is hooking up with Mr Caputo?" Piper asked, lying down across the bleachers. Her legs were hooked on the row above her and her head hung off the edge, blonde locks flying in the gentle breeze. She nudged Alex with her knee, scooting closer. "Isn't that so gross?"

Lunch had rolled around and instead of sitting in the crowded cafeteria, they'd decided to stick with Nicky's favored place instead - under the bleachers. Piper had to admit, it was nice to have a little quiet - even if it came at the price of being the butt of Nicky's jokes.

Alex snickered, rolling her eyes. "No way. Look at him. He's...well, he's...you know!"

Piper fell into a fit of giggles. "So he's a little rough around the edges, maybe she likes that. Ooh, maybe she likes his mustache! Or maybe it's a power trip. Being a vice principal comes with much responsibility..."

"Have you seen her?" Alex asked, her eyes wide. She picked at the salad she'd grabbed from the cafeteria. "No job could convince me to be with him if I looked like her."

"Come on." Piper rolled her eyes this time. "She's not that hot."

"Strong disagree," Alex quipped. A smirk spread across her lips. "Do you think they do it in his office?"

Piper wrinkled her nose, nibbling on an apple. "Hard pass on thinking about that, please. I've sat in those chairs and I don't think they've been cleaned since the eighties. God. Next time I get called into the principal's office I'm bringing Purell by the bucket load."

"When do you get called to see the principal?"

Piper glanced over at Alex. "Well, for one, when I ran for class president."

"You ran for class president? But Brook Soso is class president. You didn't win?"

Piper sighed, sitting up. "They didn't like my policies."

"I'm not surprised," Nicky rasped as she took a drag from her cigarette - her version of lunch. She let out the smoke and raised her eyebrows. "So, did you guys hook up last night?"

Piper spluttered on her apple. She swallowed hard, washing down the apple with some water, and glared at Nicky. "What kind of question is that?"

"A valid one," Nicky said, raising her eyebrows and flicking ash from her cigarette on the floor. Piper frowned as she did so and Nicky rolled her eyes. "I'll start, eh? Lorna and I definitely hooked up last night," she said, and then she was the one frowning. "Well, until Christopher called, that was." Her expression turned sour.

"Don't you think it's kind of an abusive relationship?" Alex asked tentatively. She plucked a blade of grass, pulling it apart with her fingers, and just about dared to look Nicky in the eye.

"Abusive?" Nicky scoffed. "Lorna's barely five feet tall. And I'm certainly not swinging for her. Well, not in that way." She smirked.

Alex rolled her eyes, brushing grass from her jeans. "I meant emotionally. You know, you harass her, she blows hot and cold…"

"Always hot," Nicky corrected, still smirking. "Always."

"Nicky," Alex complained. "Be serious for once."

"Like your relationship is much better?" Nicky challenged. She sat up, her nose wrinkling. "Another straight girl who doesn't wanna be seen in public holding your hand. Same scenario. Plus she's a -"

"I'm right here," Piper complained. "And of course I don't care about being seen holding Alex's hand," she protested. She glanced at Alex, whose face said it all. A blush swept her cheeks from remembering that same very morning. But a kiss was different, she reasoned. PDA is not attractive. That's what her mom always said.

"It's not ladylike, Piper."

But then her mom probably wouldn't think holding Alex's hand was ladylike, either. She sighed and when she glanced up, Nicky and Alex were both looking at her.

"My relationship is none of your business," she snapped, looking at Nicky. "Mind your own."

Nicky held her hands up. "Hey, I'm not the one throwing stones," she said, gesturing to Alex. "I'm just saying watch your own glass house before worrying about mine."

"Alright, alright," Alex said with a sigh. "I'm sorry. Hey, do you wanna do something tonight? Mom left me a voicemail when I was in Biology, she's gonna be in for another night at least." Her olive branch extended, she looked hopefully at Nicky.

"Sorry, kid," Nicky said. "I've got a prior engagement."

"Lorna?" Alex asked, trying not to sound judgmental but fearing she did anyway.

Nicky shook her head. "Nah. Luschek's throwing a party. He practically begged me to come, and my only other option was sitting in with Marka, so obviously I'm going."

"Hope he doesn't think it's a date," Piper said.

Nicky glared, but a blush swept her cheeks. "Why the hell would he think it's a date?"

"Well, he likes you," Piper said innocently. "I think he has a crush."

"Of course he doesn't like me like that." Nicky frowned for a second before shaking her head, her curls bouncing wildly. "Don't be stupid."

Piper held her hands up. "Okay. Well, have fun at your party anyway," she said, shrugging. "Are you taking Lorna?"

"No," Nicky said. "Lorna doesn't like parties like that."

"Did you ask her?"

Nicky shrugged. "No. I knew she wouldn't want to come."

Alex exchanged a look with Piper that said it all; stop talking. If Alex knew that Piper didn't want to be seen in public with her, it was a hundred times worse for Nicky with Lorna. She wouldn't even look in her direction on the street, especially if Christopher was there.

"Well, next time," Alex said. "We'll do something just the two of us. Like old times."

A little smile fell over Nicky's features as she nodded. "Yeah," she said, rubbing her nose along her cigarette. "That sounds nice."

Before Piper pulled out of the parking lot to go home, Alex turned to face her. "Hey, could you drop me off at my house instead of yours?" she asked. "I loved last night, but I don't wanna intrude anymore. I'll be fine at mine."

"Oh, Al, you don't have to worry about that," Piper said, turning her key in the ignition. "You're welcome as long as you want to stay. Honestly."

"Thanks," Alex said. "But honestly, I'll be fine. Just don't tell your mom, okay? She'll be upset if she thinks I'm alone."

Piper looked unconvinced, but nodded reluctantly. "Fine," she said. "But call me tonight, okay? I don't wanna worry about you all night long. Do you promise?"

Alex smiled. "I promise."

"Can I stay at yours for a little before I go home?" Piper asked as a compromise. "I'll be bored at home without you."

"Always," Alex said.

"It's always been a pain in the ass to open," Alex said as she pushed her way in through the front door, giving it a shove with her shoulder. She threw Piper a smile as she kicked a pile of junk mail like they were autumn leaves. "The day we moved in, Mom thought they'd screwed us over and given us the wrong keys."

"Least it's harder to burgle," Piper said, looking on the bright side. She reached out to snap the light on, but nothing happened. "Huh."

Alex's heart sank as she too tried it and got the same result.

"I forgot to pay the bill," she said, scowling at the light as if it were being deliberately obstinate. She sighed and then looked around. With false brightness, she said, "No, it's okay. Mom will be home soon and everything will be okay. I'll just…" she flung the cupboard door open, grabbing a box of Apple Jacks. "I'll just make the most of what we've got. This is fine for dinner."

"You can't have cereal for dinner," Piper said with a straight face.

Alex wrinkled her nose and shook the box. "Haven't you ever heard of breakfast for dinner?"

Piper's brow furrowed. "Yeah, but that's like pancakes, or eggs and bacon," she continued. "It isn't dry cereal."

"I wasn't gonna eat it dry," Alex said. She yanked the refrigerator door open and grabbed the milk from the shelf. "See?"

Giving it a shake, the smug look slipped from her features as it sounded decidedly...chunky. With a small sigh she threw it to the trash can on the other side of the room as Piper side stepped to dodge the dairy missile.

Piper shifted her weight from one foot to the other, leaning against the countertop. "Now what?"

"Cereal and orange juice works too." She shrugged, but the loud growl from her stomach gave her away.

"Al…"

"It's fine."

"Just come home with me, it's really -"

"Pipes, I don't wanna mooch off your family anymore," she said. "I've had worse things for dinner."

Piper pressed her lips together. "It's not mooching." She paused for a moment then continued. "We should have breakfast for dinner," she said. "We can reheat the stuff my mom set out this morning," she said, sounding a little guilty.

Alex wouldn't have been so hungry now if she'd just stayed for breakfast like her mom had wanted.

"My mom bought that stuff for you anyway," Piper bargained. "And you said you didn't want it to go to waste, didn't you?"

Alex sighed. If she weren't so hungry, and it didn't feel so dark and cold in her house, she wouldn't have relented. But it was and she did.

"Okay," she said reluctantly. "But go home. I just have to pack a few things. I'll meet you at your house for dinner time, okay? You can help your mom set it all up again. I know she'd love that."

Piper frowned. "I can wait, it's not a big deal-"

"No," Alex said. "I have a couple of things I need to do. I'll be okay. I've gotta give you a little time to miss me," she said teasingly.

A faint smile crossed Piper's lips. "Alright," she said, hesitating once more. "I'll see you at home, then." She crossed the room to Alex and pecked her lips. It was a tiny kiss, but meant the world to Alex.

"Bye," Piper said, slowly going to the door.

"Bye," she said absentmindedly. With her back to Piper, Alex touched her lips. She smiled when she tasted strawberry lip gloss, just like always.

Alex rubbed her hands together as she leaned against the cold brick of the alleyway. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out.

A message from Piper read: Are you still coming over? Let me know you're okay. Everything's set up...you were right. Mom was so happy.

Alex slid the phone back into her pocket without replying. She sighed. When she remembered how much she enjoyed selling before, it didn't make sense in her mind. It used to make her feel excited. The thrill of the chase. The way her heart thumped when the exchange happened. Now she felt that way when she brushed up against Piper in the hallway. When their noses touched in bed this morning. She realized that it didn't need to be dangerous to be exciting. A tiny kiss - something so innocent - could feel the exact same way. Better, in fact.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head back. Breathing in the cool evening air was refreshing, but it reminded her of why she needed to do this, why she needed to keep on going even when she didn't want to. A lump rose in her throat as she thought of her mom, but at least she was in hospital. At least when she was better, she had a home to come back to.

Someone cleared their throat in front of Alex. Her eyes snapped open and she came face to face with her first customer in months. She kicked off the wall and stood eye to eye with him. Nate Griffiths. He was arrogant and pig headed but even Alex had to admit he was charming and, to the right person, pretty hot.

"You got the stuff?" he asked, jerking his chin upwards.

Alex nodded, slipping unpainted fingernails into her jean pocket. "Got the money?"

He scoffed, like it was a question. Of course he had the money. "You better not disappear again, Vause," he said, glaring at her. "I had everyone waiting on these pills last month. The guys in town overcharge me," he complained.

"Well, I'm back now," Alex said, not a hint of sympathy in her voice as she licked her finger and then counted the dollar bills. "I've been busy."

She held out the little baggie of pills.

He smirked and reached out for it. "With your girlfriend?"

Alex dropped her hand. "Yeah," she said. Her chin jutted out. "Is that a problem with you?"

"No problem," he said, raising his eyebrows. He plucked the baggie from her hand, grazing her hip as he did so. He leant forward, his breath tickling her ear as he whispered, "Just let me know if you ever change your mind."

He was repulsive, she knew that, but she had to admit - it felt pretty good to be wanted. To have someone find her attractive...it felt nice.

He turned and Alex watched as he walked away. He had almost disappeared into the distance when Alex jumped forward.

"Nate, wait."

A/N:

Hi guys. So sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Hopefully you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for the reviews on the last chapter. Please let me know what you thought of this one. I hope you're all doing well at the moment, despite everything.

Stay safe.

- Star xo