Hi there! How are you?
I'm re-rating this fanfic for obvious reasons. We are not there it, but we'll be soon. Things will start to change more for Siegfried and Audrey.
Hope you're still enjoying and thank you for your support 3
Chapter 9
It's funny how some people behave. In those last days, Audrey and Siegfried received the most varied expressions of support and rejection of their new situation, although the situation has not yet been specifically classified by both. What were they after all? For a portion of Darrowby's society they were sinners, for Audrey they were together, simple like that. Siegfried, on the other hand, liked "crime partners" more, as it made a good mocking allusion at the porcion of people that considered them sinners.
They remained faithful to the decision to ignore people's behavior.
The phone had still ringing incessantly and the calls were closed numerous times if some of them answered before the caller finally gave up and asked for help. To solve this problem Siegfried made an exceptional small change in the division of work. James would stay in the clinic and consequently be in charge of the phone when possible, while he would take care of the runs.
No one he visited dared to dismiss him, even when they reluctantly accepted his presence. You see, for these people Siegfried had become a liar. All those years living alone, staying true to the memory of the deceased wife had become a front to hide an affair with the housekeeper.
Other people believed, in turn, that the sympathetic and empathetic Mrs. Hall was no longer a decent woman. First, they had revealed her divorced status, which had been a huge concession. You must know, divorces were frowned upon, but the fact that she was a woman of chaste appearance and behavior had helped her to be well regarded. That and the fact that she still wears her wedding ring. Now, exchanging kisses in front of everyone with the man who employed her and with whom she shared the same roof was unacceptable.
On the other hand, people who did not objected to the idea of them being together expressed a variety of "It was about time.", "Finally!" or "Why did you take so long?", making both Siegfried and Audrey blush slightly and smile.
At home, the challenges were different. While they went out of their way to keep James as busy as possible, the boy tried, without much success, to dodge from them so they could have time for themselves.
Having privacy was proving to be both a blessing and a torment. It seemed that things were progressing too fast. It was very natural for them to curl up in a hug, hold hands and exchange small caresses as if this were something they had been doing for years, not days. When she stopped to really think about it, Audrey realized that it would soon be three years since they shared the same roof and it was a time to take into account in their relationship. That's why she didn't feel so guilty about cuddling up next to him on the couch.
However, the guilt did not disappear completely when his mouth found hers and their hands roamed each others bodies causing sensations, even if without exceeding any respectful limit (which was becoming a real ordeal, it should be mentioned).
One of those nights, after returning from Drovers with James they found themselves alone in the room. Another new ritual for the countless ones they had built over the years. Between a comment about the night and another their bodies entwined in a hug and their lips met without difficulty for a moment before Siegfried devoted himself to exploring her neck with small kisses.
Audrey swallowed a sigh, brushing her nails on his scalp absently in a subtle incentive for him to continue. Pressing her against him and with his right hand on the back of Audrey's knee, Siegfried continued his careful exploration, which was rewarded when he found a sensitive spot to dedicate himself to. Audrey purred, feeling a shiver run through her body and long-forgotten sensations returning in the most hidden corners of her body.
Siegfried had a silly smile dancing on his lips when he pulled away and saw Audrey's face flushed.
So the days passed.
December 18, 1937.
"What a dreadful day to get married." Siegfried comments when he and Audrey settle in the rover, after leaving a desolate James sitting in one of the armchairs with the radio on and Jess for company. "Who gets married in the Christmas anyway? Shouldn't weedings happen on spring? " His comment makes her take a deep breath.
"Weddings happen during all year, Siegfried."
"Even at Christmas?"
"We are going at one at Christmas, aren't we? I suppose this answer your question."
Her comment silences him for a minute while he concentrates on driving around town. People come and go everywhere, despite the biting wind.
"It's uncomfortably cold. I'm sure Darrowby will be covered in snow by tomorrow. " He continues to complain, because in fact it is too cold, even with the hood of the car closed. "Aren't you cold, my darling?" Siegfried reaches his left hand towards her, with the gloves he doesn't know if she is cold or not, but the thin stockings she's wearing let the pallor of her calves be seen.
"Nothing I cannot handle for a couple of hours. Let's hope Father Tom won't stretch the ceremony too much."
"You shouldn't be hopeful, he loves to be wordy at these occasions. At Evelyn's wake I almost…" Siegfried starts without thinking, but then realizes that he is about to talk about Evelyn and stops. That is not a topic they talk about and it would be strange to talk about her with Audrey. Women never liked it when a man talked about previously relationships.
"You almost?" She asks encouragingly. From the corner of his eye, he sees that she is looking at him intently. Siegfried had forgot that she is not like all women.
"I almost told him to shut up. All I wanted to do was end that moment and he couldn't stop talking." He responds in a low, subdued tone.
"What stopped you?"
"Tristan." Siegfried doesn't elaborate, but he can still see the desolation on his brother's young face. In a decade, despite his young age, Tristan had lost three of the people he loved most, and that day, sitting next to him, he looked just as hurt and lost as Siegfried. Perhaps even more, since he did not hide the tears that dripped from his eyes and rolled freely down his cheecks.
Audrey nods in understanding.
"Did he marry you and Evelyn? Father Tom, I mean. "
"He did and that was another never-ending ceremony." The sarcastic comment makes Audrey laugh and he relaxes, feeling more confident to continue. "He was much younger back then, but prolix the same. He got really mad at Tristan, well, I did too. Can you imagine Evelyn picked him to carry the rings? Tristan was about ten at the time. My father was getting weak, nobody could control him so he was at his worst behavior and he stood at the altar with us during the vows swinging on his heels. Back and forth. Back and forth. I never wished he would fall so badly."
"Silly boy!" Audrey laughs and he knows that she can imagine a scene perfectly. It's not that bad, he notes, sharing those kind of memories with her. Not even painful.
"Evelyn couldn't stop laughing. Everybody laughed, but the priest and myself."
"I would never picture you would be mad at him." She says sarcastically, squeezing his hand comfortably. "Were they close?"
"Evelyn and Tristan?"
"Yes."
"They were like siblings. Shouting, laughing and playing all the time, they could never stop once they've started." Countless other memories become clear as water in Siegfried's mind, but he has said enough. Tristan's relationship with Evelyn was totally different from what he had with Audrey. Although they both pampered him, Audrey was motherly with him, something Evelyn never did for lack of experience."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking about this."
"Don't be. I'm glad you're finally talking to me about her."
Siegfried finds a spot a few meters from the church and parks. The silence between the two is comfortable, so when he turns off the car, he turns to look at her directly.
Although she seems essentially the same Siegfried notes that Audrey has been gaining more color day by day while allowing herself to be vain. The beautiful dress hidden over her coat had aroused on him old unsettling sensations, her loose, curly hair seemed to beg for his fingers and her pink lips cried out for a kiss.
In his heart Siegfried hoped she was making these changes for herself. He wanted, more than anything, for her to see herself the way he saw her, and if she needed female artifices for that, so be it.
"You can talk to me about... You know."
"Maybe some other time." From her tone of voice Siegfried knows that she is not going to talk about her marriage, at least not anytime soon. "We have some dragons to fight right now. Come on." Audrey smiles briefly before getting out of the car.
The changes in Siegfried are always extreme. One minute he was restrained talking about old memories and the next he was walking with his chest puffed, arm in arm with her, in a show of unshakable confidence that discouraged people from completely opposing him.
They walked along the corridor like the couple they were now, until they found an empty bench in the middle of the church.
"This looks nice." Audrey looks around the decor for a moment. Arrangements of lilies adorn the benches and the sides of the church, with cream satin ribbons keeping the arrangements together with delicate bows. The people around her are all dressed up, wearing the best clother under their coats and she greets herself in thought for choosing the satin fabric and the model she saw in last month's magazine. If it had pleased Siegfried he would certainly be noticed by the others.
"It does but I'm glad James decided to stay at home. No one should go thru a situation like that."
"Helen will notice."
"We can say he had to answer an emergency."
"Very well."
Still looking around she notices Jenny with a flaming face looking around. When their eyes meet, the girl runs towards her.
"Finally! I've been looking for you two everywhere." Jenny's bad mood is evident from the tone of her voice and the grimace she makes, which melts under Siegfried's inquisitive gaze. This was news to Audrey. Jenny looks embarrassed and leans towards her. "Aunt Audrey, can you come with me?" The girl whispers in her ear.
"Something happened, love?"
"Your Helen wants to talk with you."
Audrey nods in response to the girl and turns to Siegfried.
"I'll be right back."
His inquisitive look at her doesn't have the same effect on her.
She quickly leaves hand in hand with Jenny and crosses the church to the sacristy, where Helen is pacing.
"Oh, dear God! You look beautiful." She says unable to contain herself. She had never seen a bride more graceful than Helen, the dress was beautiful and delicate, it suited her. Everything would be perfect, if it weren't for the dread on her face. "What's going on, Helen?"
"You told me a few times that you would be here if I needed to talk." Helen says and Audrey nods. "And right now, I need to talk to someone more than ever."
"Alright."
Jenny tries to go unnoticed, but a hard look from her sister is enough for her to leave and close the door behind her.
"Mrs. Hall, I don't know if I want to get married anymore. " Helen says hastily. "I've been so busy organizing the wedding and taking care of the farm that I didn't stop to think about what I'm about to do until last night and I'm not sure that's what I want for my life."
Audrey opens her mouth to say something, but closes it immediately. What to say? Any advice she gives can have a disastrous consequence, be it for Helen or for Hugh. Besides, there is James and she can't help thinking about him right now. It seems that the impossible and improbable is happening right now and he is at home suffering.
"I always believed that my life would be this. That one day I would marry Hugh and we would be happy together, but now I don't know anymore, I..." Helen hesitates and her lips curve in a sad smile. "I don't know if I want to have this life with him."
At that moment Helen needed a mother, not her. As much as she loved her and those boys she had at home, she could not be a mother to everyone and yet, she found herself with no choice.
"I can't even imagine what you're going through, love, and there's only one thing I can say to you right now, however frustrating it may be." Helen looks at her closely, waiting. "You need to follow your heart." Helen nods firmly. "What does it say?"
"It says I should cancel the wedding and run out of here."
"So here's your answer." She says simply and Helen, still nodding, hugs her tightly.
"Thank you." Helen says filled with relief.
Siegfried checks the clock. It has been 15 minutes since Audrey got up and no matter how much he looks over his shoulder at the back of the church, he cannot find her anywhere. As he wonders what's going on, he notice the people around him. Some give him crossed looks, several smile and he returns each reaction in the same coin.
At the altar he sees Hugh restless, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and walking back and forth from time to time. That is a moment that Siegfried does not envy. This waiting is endless and distressing, despite preceding a single moment in the life of a couple. And yet part of him hopes to be able to relive that moment soon. Contradictory, he knows.
Following this path is right and natural, although he imagines that it will take some time to actually happen.
He is distracted by his own thoughts when Audrey finally slides down the bench to sit next to him and puts her arm around his, nestling on his side in search of warmth. The others could look if they want to, he said to himself.
"God, you're freezing." Siegfried said as his hand rubbed her cold knees.
"Why do you have this maniac smile on your lips, Audrey?" He asked, suspiciously.
She smiles brightly for a brief moment and presses her lips together to contain herself, making him just more curious.
"Just wait and see, love."
Five minutes later a new topic had emerged to be the gossip of the moment. Twenty minutes later James started to cry with relief when he heard the news.
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