As a reviewer very accurately commented, the bright side is that both Anna and Bates have a solid alibi regarding Green's death... And good for them, because they'll have enough things to deal with as it is. So, now let's find out what everyone wants to know... ^^
Bates had stayed at Anna's bedside all night, and her condition had not evolved. Still she lay unconscious and motionless. Very early in the morning, he heard a light knock on the door, and Baxter entered the room.
- Hello Mr Bates. How is she this morning?
- Nothing's changed I'm afraid…
Baxter sighed.
- I'm sorry. I came to offer that I stay with Anna for a while, if you want to go home, you know, take a little time to wash and change, eat something…
He frowned:
- I'd rather not leave her…
- I understand but… We don't know how much longer we'll have to watch her, you have to take care of yourself too.
She had a point, he thought. He had not eaten since luncheon the previous day, and he was still wearing his travel clothes. He was scruffy at best. And if ever Anna woke up, he wanted to look better.
- You're right, Ms Baxter. Thank you, I'll be back soon.
Before he left, Baxter looked down and said:
- Mr Bates, I want you to know how sorry I am for the way things have turned out. I feel so, so bad.
- But why would you blame yourself? You have nothing to do with it.
- But I have. It was my idea to go this this abortionist.
Baxter saw Bates's face harden, and his jaw clench at the mention of the abortion. She hurried to explain:
- But I only did that because she was so distressed, I didn't know what else to do! She was on the verge of taking her own life Mr Bates, I swear! You should have seen her in Ripon, she was about to let herself fall into the Skell! I urged her to talk to you or Mrs Hughes, but she wouldn't. I feel so guilty now, please, forgive me…
Bates stood silent for a while, like he was searching into the depths of his soul the strength to not be mad at her.
- Alright, he finally said. I can't say I'm happy with the way you handled it, but I see that you tried to help her. So, I'll go home now, thank you for watching her for a little while. I won't be long.
The next day was dawning and John was dozing, exhausted, when Anna's eyes fluttered open. The fever had fallen since the previous afternoon, and she had seemed to sleep peacefully all night. The doctor had been a little more confident when he had left that evening. She shifted a little in the bed, and he woke up in a startle.
- Anna? he whispered.
- John… she croaked, her voice hoarse from lack of use.
She passed her tongue on her crackled lips. He quickly reached for the glass of water sitting on the bedside table and presented it to her.
- There you go darling, take a sip.
She drank a bit, and fell down on the pillows. John reached for her hand and brought it to his lips.
- John… she repeated as tears were spilling on her cheeks. I'm so sorry… I ruined everything…
- Ssshhh, my darling, sshhh. We'll talk later. I know what happened, but now is not the time. You need to rest. I'm here and I won't go away. I love you.
The shadow of a smile came across her lips and she whispered:
- I love you too… as she slumbered back to sleep.
A few hours later, she had woken up again, drunk a cup of tea and eaten a small toast. When the tray was put back on the chest of drawers, John came to sit on the edge of the bed, and asked shyly:
- May I hold you in my arms?
She lifted her gaze to him, eyes filling again with tears. She nodded lightly.
- Yes, please.
He took her into the gentlest embrace that he could manage, trying not to hurt her, as she seemed so fragile. Anna rested her head in his chest and cried silently. He nuzzled in her hair, crying too, and whispered:
- Oh Anna… I thought I would never see you alive again… I was so afraid I had lost you…
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, she kept repeating.
He pulled apart from her a little, just enough to be able to look at her face.
- Why? Why didn't you talk to me my darling?
The hurt was audible in his voice and it made Anna shiver.
- What… what did they tell you? she asked, averting his gaze.
- Mrs Hughes and Lady Mary, they told me what that bastard did to you, how you were pregnant, how you wanted to get rid of it.
She couldn't look at him. There was her old friend, shame, nagging at her again.
- Why didn't you tell me?! Anna, we should have dealt with this together! For better or worse, doesn't that ring a bell to you? You stood by my side into my own darkest hour, why for God's sake didn't you let me support you into yours?!
- I wanted to protect you… I was so afraid…
- Afraid of what? That I would turn you away? You know I would never do that! When I said I would love you however, whatever, whenever, I meant it you know!
- I know, she cried, but… I was afraid you would go and kill him, and you'd hang. And I couldn't lose you.
- Oh, he said.
He couldn't deny that there was some ground in her fear. He had wanted to kill the man. In fact, he was very glad that he was already dead.
- I'm sorry my darling.
- Why ever should you apologize? she asked gingerly. You did nothing wrong.
- Oh yes I did. I'm sorry for not being the husband you needed. If I had been, you would not have feared coming to me in time of sorrow. I failed you.
She sighed against his chest:
- Well. It's out in the open now. No more secret. I'm glad of that at least. No more fear of being found out, because I am found out. My shame has nowhere to hide.
He frowned, as he put a strand of hair away from her face:
- But why do you talk of shame? I don't accept that there is any shame in that.
She looked up to him, a desperate gleam in her eyes:
- But I'm spoiled for you… And I can never be unspoiled.
- You are not spoiled! You're made higher to me, and holier because of the suffering you've been put through! You are my wife, and I have never loved you more than I love you now at this moment.
- Truly?
He smiled sincerely, cupping her cheeks and wiping her tears away:
- Truly.
They stayed silent for a little while, just enjoying each other's presence. He breathed into her hair and talked again:
- I've missed you so much Anna. I've missed you, I've missed us. I want us back. I love you so much.
- I've missed us too. I want us back too. But… I'm broken. I'm shattered.
- Then we'll pick up your pieces together. We'll take all the time needed. But together. No more secrets. Do you promise me?
She nodded slightly.
- I promise. So… aren't you mad at me for what I did?
John sighed:
- I'm not. I mean, I wish you had not. I wish you had come to me and allowed us to manage this together instead of putting your life in danger. But I understand why you didn't. You were not in your right mind. There was so much pain and fear inside you, you couldn't think straight.
- I don't deserve you… she said in a small voice.
- No, I don't deserve you. You sacrificed yourself to protect me. But you shouldn't have. It's not your job to protect me Anna. I should have protected you. I failed you from the day I let that filthy man come near you.
- But you warned me. I didn't listen.
- Because you're too kind my darling. You only see the good in people. But some people don't have any. Anyway, he's dead now.
Anna startled.
- What do you say? He's dead?!
- Oh, you didn't know? Mrs Hughes told me so when I got back. I thought she'd told you.
- No… What happened?
- I don't know. And I don't care. You'll have to ask Mrs Hughes. All I know is, he's dead, which is all he deserved for wrecking your life so bad.
- Our life.
- Yes, our life, he smiled. Because we are one, Anna. Your life is mine. And my life is yours.
He hugged her a little closer as a sob of relief escaped her lips at the news of her tormentor's death.
x x x x
Just after luncheon, Lady Mary had stopped by in Anna's room. Anna was sitting in the bed, her chest supported by a pile of pillows. She smiled wearily as her employer and friend beamed at her:
- Oh, Anna, you don't know how relieved I am to see that you are finally getting better! You've given us a mighty fright, I can tell you! Doctor Clarkson will be thrilled!
- Thank you m'lady. That's very kind. But I'm feeling completely worn out.
- I guess…
- M'lady, there was a question I wanted to ask you.
- Yes?
- Mr Bates told me that… he was dead? Is it true?
- yes, it is. Lord Gillingham brought me the news himself a couple days ago.
- What happened?
- He was hit by a bus, in Piccadilly.
- Oh.
- I won't say it outside this room, but I do hope he's burning in hell for what he did to you, said lady Mary forcefully.
- I'm relieved, said Anna in a small voice.
A few seconds later, Dr Clarkson entered the room. A look of happy surprise dawned on his tired face as the sight of Anna awake and sitting in the bed:
- Oh Mrs Bates! I'm sorry I wasn't able to come by this morning, things have been a little hectic. But I see that your husband's return has done you more good than I have ever been able to do! I'm very pleased to see you are better today.
- Thank you Dr Clarkson.
- I'll leave you to it, said Lady Mary, walking to the door. See you later Anna.
- Thank you m'lady. Good afternoon.
When Dr Clarkson was alone with Anna and Bates, he examined her once again. Her belly was still painful, but otherwise things looked better. When he was done, he looked to Anna and said:
- Well Mrs Bates, I can say that I am gladly surprised. I wouldn't have bet on this only two days ago. You beat the odds.
- It wouldn't be the first time, said Bates, looking at his wife with a happy gleam in his eyes.
- So, there will be quite a lengthy convalescence now. You have to rest, eat, drink, to regain all the weight you've lost lately.
- Am I allowed to get out of the bed Doctor?
- Erm… If you feel up to it, yes, but… little by little, and always under supervision. Don't overexert yourself. Anyway, you'll soon notice that you won't be able to do much for several weeks at least.
Anna frowned. Several weeks of bed rest was not something she was looking forward to.
- Alright Doctor. We'll be careful, said Bates, taking her hand.
- Well, I'll let you rest now. I'll come by tomorrow evening.
- Thank you so much Dr Clarkson, said Anna.
Bates got up and shook the doctor's hand. As he got out of the room, Dr Clarkson's felt his satisfaction at her getting better was a bit shadowed by his fear for lasting consequences of the infection. But he had decided that now was not a good time to talk to them about it. Now was the time to rejoice over Mrs Bates getting through this alive.
x x x x
When they were left alone, Anna looked up to John and said gingerly:
- Do you know what I would love to do?
- What is it my darling?
- Wash my hair. It's filthy and all entangled…
Indeed, Mrs Hughes and Baxter had washed her a bit with a wet cloth while she had been unconscious, but her hair had been left untouched for almost a week, and was a greasy mess from all the sweating when she was feverish.
- Alright, er… Will you manage to walk to the bathroom? Do you want me to call for Baxter to wash them?
- I think I'll manage, the bathroom's just next door, you'll support me. And I would prefer you to do it…
- Oh, hum, alright…
He was a bit uneasy at that thought, having never washed long hair. But he was so relieved to have her back, and not the tense and distant wife she had been for the last months, he was prepared to do about anything she would have asked him to do.
- Well, let me get things ready. I'll put a chair next to the bath tub, and warm some water, and I'll come fetch you.
- Thank you John, she said with a loving smile.
A few minutes later, he came by her bed and helped her get up. She felt a bit dizzy at first, having been lying down for so long, and her legs trembled when she stood up. She held tightly onto John's shoulders for a moment, before she was able to steady herself, and started slowly taking a few steps. It took them several minutes to cross the short distance to the bathroom, and when she was finally seated on the chair near the bathtub, she felt like she had run a marathon.
- Oh Lord, she breathed, I get what Dr Clarkson meant when he talked about not being able to do much. I'm wasted…
- Maybe we should have waited until tomorrow to let you walk… said John looking worried.
- It's alright. Let's go on, she said.
She held her hair over her head while John put a towel on her shoulders. She tilted her head backwards over the bathtub, and he let the warm water run on her head. He then gently rubbed the soap on her wet hair, until it lathered. She closed her eyes and moaned under his soft touch when he lightly massaged her skull.
- Oh my God this feels so good, she whispered.
He rinsed the soap off her hair, and passed slowly his fingers through her hair to undo the knots, until he could slide freely from her skull to the tips of the hair without any resistance. He deposited a light kiss on her forehead before wrapping a dry towel around her head. This was the most sweet and intimate moment they had shared for more than three months, and it felt so good to both of them.
Anna looked up to John and sent him a gentle smile:
- Thank you my darling.
- Anything, my beloved wife, he answered.
He rubbed the towel a bit on her head, and started passing a comb through her blond hair. When he was done, she asked:
- Do you know how to braid a hair?
- I'm afraid not, he replied, a sorry smirk on his face.
She chuckled, and started to braid her hair. When she was done, she said:
- Alright, I think this will be enough exercise for the day. I'll have to take a nap to get over it. Let's go back to the bed.
When they had managed to make their way back, she sat on the edge of the bed. As John helped her sit back, she grabbed his jacket, and pulled him down, until their lips met. It was a short and light kiss, but John felt like a firework had broken out in his chest. As they stood forehead against forehead, he whispered:
-I love you Anna.
She shot him a watery smile.
- Would you lie with me for a little while? she asked.
He had spent the last two nights on a chair, so the prospect of lying in a soft bed beside his wife did feel like heaven to him. He put his shoes off, and settled next to her. She nestled her head against his chest, and whispered:
- When I was out, I had a weird dream, in which you were telling me poetry… Something about golden locks…
He chuckled:
- I did tell you a poem while you were out. Do you want to hear it again?
- Sure.
- Yestreen I had a pint o' wine,
A place where body saw na;
Yestreen lay on this breast o' mine
The gowden locks of Anna.
The hungry Jew in wilderness,
Rejoicing o'er his manna,
Was naething to my hinny bliss
Upon the lips of Anna.
He smiled as she snuggled closer to him. She rested her hand on his chest and sighed. He went on with the poem, until he came to the last verse:
- She is the sunshine o' my e'e,
To live but her I canna;
Had I on earth but wishes three,
The first should be my Anna.
And he heard her snoring softly. He kissed her temple, and closed his own eyes.
Moments later, Mrs Hughes knocked and entered the room. She stopped when she saw the two of them snuggled against each other, deeply asleep. She smiled, and silently went out and closed the door. She chuckled when she thought that Mr Carson would find the idea of two servants sleeping in a guest bedroom totally inappropriate, but she felt they both had been through enough to deserve it. To hell with propriety.
Well there you go. I must admit that I've been a bit weak, because medically speaking, coming to the point to which I streched her condition, in the 1920s, without antibiotics or fluid IV, there was every likelihood that she would have died... But it seems that I will never find it in me to kill Anna. And besides I want my story to go on, so let's say she beat the odds!
Oh, and yes, I have borrowed a mythical scene from "Out of Africa" ;D