[Reuploader's Note: This and subsequent chapters are taken from DJJ680's sporking, which means some passages may be missing. Thanks for salvaging most of the story though DJJ!]
Chapter 11: Phoenix Phoenix Strikes Back
Phoenix Phoenix, the fused version of Uncle and Nephew, said Uncle and Nephew being none other than the legendary defense attorneys Phoenix Wright and John Phoenix, was standing in the train, where a bullet had nearly killed one-half of Phoenix Phoenix. But another bullet saved Phoenix Phoenix's lives. An aura surrounded Phoenix Phoenix.
The aura was green. This represented John Phoenix. The aura was also blue. This represented Phoenix Wright. There were little pictures floating in the aura that emanated from Phoenix Phoenix's body and then dissipated in the air. The pictures were black and white and the pictures were of courthouses, court records, files, briefcases, gavels, and other legal things. These pictures represented being a lawyer.
"What's going on here!" exclaimed Phoenix Phoenix, scared. "What happened to my body!"
"It would seem, Uncle Phoenix, that your badge fused us together," said Phoenix Phoenix calmly in reply to Phoenix Phoenix. Clearly, this Phoenix Phoenix was John Phoenix, and the other Phoenix Phoenix was Phoenix Wright, both inhabiting the same body. It would seem that Phoenix Phoenix could talk as both John Phoenix and Uncle Phoenix Wright.
"It would seem, Uncle, that was can talk to each other even though we are fused," expounded Phoenix Phoenix. He held out his right hand flexed his fingers. "Hmm, interesting, it would seem I can only control the right arm, you must control the left arm."
"B-but... this is insane!" shouted Phoenix Phoenix. "This is impossible!"
Phoenix Phoenix scoffed. "More impossible than my psychic powers? Or spirit channeling?"
"Well, when you put it that way..."
Suddenly another bullet came through the window.
"Look out!" screamed John Phoenix's mother's bullet that killed her in the air. The other bullet that came from the assassin's gun came closer to Phoenix Phoenix. The Phoenix Phoenix that was actually Phoenix Wright screamed in fright but the Phoenix Phoenix that was John Phoenix merely lifted his hand and caught the bullet.
Phoenix Phoenix was shocked. "John Phoenix!" said Phoenix Phoenix. "H-how did you catch that bullet?"
"Easy, I slowed it down psychically," said Phoenix Phoenix. "Also, the aura that surrounds us seems to slow down time. But enough talk. Come, let us kill the assassin."
"W..what?" gasped Phoenix Phoenix. "Assassin?" The Phoenix Wright half of Phoenix Phoenix truly was useless. But to be fair, that half of Phoenix Phoenix was in shock, and also sleep-deprived. Phoenix Phoenix tried to move but the Phoenix Phoenix that was John Phoenix could only control the right side of the body. Phoenix Phoenix was frustrated because he knew it would a challenge indeed to get the Phoenix Phoenix that was Uncle Phoenix to coordinate.
"Mother?" asked Phoenix Phoenix of the angel bullet hovering in the air, because the John Phoenix half of Phoenix Phoenix had already deduced that it contained his mother's soul. "A little help?"
Phoenix Phoenix lifted his right leg and put his right foot on his mother's bullet. The bullet lifted off the ground and carried Phoenix Phoenix, who was balancing carefully on one leg, out through the window, shattering it as they went.
"My god," said the assassin in primal terror as he saw Phoenix Phoenix approaching on the bullet. Urine trickled down his leg. Phoenix Phoenix's hair was half-spikey, half-normal, and the spikes were whipping around in the wind. Also, the hair had an aura of its own. The assassin fired many bullets at Phoenix Phoenix but the aura slowed the bullets down and made them fall to the ground. Phoenix Phoenix grabbed the assassin by the head with the right hand of Phoenix Phoenix and then Phoenix Phoenix threw the assassin onto the train tracks and the train ran over the man, killing him instantly.
"Good rubbish to bad trash," said Phoenix Phoenix. Phoenix Phoenix rode his mother back to John Phoenix's private compartment on the train.
"Good work, John Phoenix and my brother Phoenix Wright," said the bullet, no longer under a foot.
"What!" said Phoenix Phoenix, clearly Uncle Phoenix, judging by his excitability and lack of logic. "You're my sister!" But then suddenly there was a flash of green/blue light and Phoenix Phoenix split back into the components of Phoenix Phoenix: John Phoenix and his uncle Phoenix Wright.
Then Godot flew in through the window.
"Hello. My name is Godot."
To be continued...