The Phantom, the Boy and the Jedi Knight.
Beep, beep, beep…
At any time, the heart monitor could stop.
Beep, beep, beep…
At any time, Anakin would be dead.
Beep, beep, beep…
The metal machine's strident noise rang through Obi-Wan's ears as he stood mournfully in front of Anakin's bed. His head pounded from the infernal noise, and his eyes stung as he endeavored to fight off the ever-growing urge to sleep. But he could not rest. He would not leave Anakin to die alone. He had a duty to fulfill.
He'd failed Anakin once. He wouldn't abandon him again.
'It's all my fault."
Perhaps if he'd listened to the boy, or at the very least kept an eye open that night instead of indulging in sleep, Anakin wouldn't be in that state. Lying in the palliative care chamber, all the color drained from his body, the machine's static sounds were the only indicator of life.
"I should have believed you. I'm so sorry."
No response, only the beeping.
Obi-Wan had found the boy in the Jedi Council Chambers, just in time to witness the final moments of his duel with the Shadow. Obi-Wan remembered the determination through Anakin's eyes as he dealt the final blow to his foe. In that moment, just before he collapsed, he had been every inch a Jedi. Despite the shock of the scene, Obi-Wan could never have been prouder of the boy.
"Qui-Gon would have been proud."
Obi-Wan hadn't consciously spoken aloud to Anakin, but the disorder in his mind was too great to care or notice. Perhaps, there was a chance talking to the boy would help him recover or, at the very least, ease his passing.
Despite the shroud of death looming over him, it struck Obi-Wan how peaceful Anakin looked. Without the medical apparatus, monitors, and the grave position on which he'd been laid of the bed, it could look as if he were merely fast asleep. After all, he could see the gentle up-down movement of Anakin's breathing under the covers.
It could not be over yet. Anakin might still awaken.
No, it was foolish. Vokara Che was adamant. The boy was dying, and tonight, the Force would very likely claim him. His heart clenched at the thought, for he knew very well not everyone would mourn the boy's passing. From the very beginning, he knew his apprentice had a rough start at the Temple due to the circumstances of his birth, arrival, then his acceptance for Jedi training. He hadn't even been given a chance to prove his metal before all eyes looked upon him with abject suspicion. Obi-Wan suspected that some would even rejoice to see him gone. Whispers were circulating around the Temple, most of them speculating about funeral preparations. It was clear they already talked of Anakin as if he was no longer alive. They couldn't wait to be rid of the evidence he ever even existed.
These things made Obi-Wan want to snap in disgust.
"He's not even bloody dead yet!"
But he was screaming or cursing at no one in particular. He and Anakin were utterly alone. Besides, he had no one to curse but himself.
Obi-Wan looked around the chamber of the palliative unit. Strange how the room not only looked but felt like a coffin. It was dreadfully cold and damp. Obi-Wan had had to tighten his long cloak for warmth. Reaching over, Obi-Wan touched Anakin's forehead. He flinched at the touch.
"Oh no, you're cold."
Extra covers had been laid on the bedside table. Unlike the rest of the room, they were warm and smooth to the touch. Obi-Wan reached over to them and gently placed them over the boy. In his own state of exhaustion, the simple gesture had taken too much effort for Obi-Wan. Finally, he sat down, never taking his eyes off the boy.
From his seat, he took a moment to carefully examine the boy. Obi-Wan found he was appalled that he'd never taken the time to appreciate just how much Anakin had grown until now. Although Obi-Wan still very much saw traces of the spunky nine-year-old prodigy he first encountered on Tatooine, that boy was gone. Anakin was no longer a child, and he'd grown to care for the boy. Despite himself, he now held a special place for Anakin in his heart, which would always prevail over his uneasy feelings. He now found it was his privilege to train a boy with such potential, guiding the transition from childhood to manhood.
No, Anakin would never reach manhood or fulfill that mysterious kriffing millennia-long prophecy the blasted Jedi counted so damn much upon. The road was over for the boy. Anakin would be dead before he could even look forward to the future. Nothing ahead of him, apart from the heart of a funeral pyre.
He reached over, taking hold of one of Anakin's cold hands.
"I wish you would wake up."
He bent his head until it touched the covers.
"What will I do without you?"
Beep, beep, BEEP!
The heart monitor rang with furious outrage! It was as if it was telling him his inner turmoil and please were so futile, they were on the verge of insulting.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
In the chaos of his mind, it seemed the beeping of the monitor now screamed: Your fault! Your fault! Who cares about you! What will his mother say!
His mother.
In all that time, he'd forgotten about Shmi Skywalker. Out of selfless love and faith, she was saving him from a lifetime of slavery; she'd let Anakin go. Confident, the Jedi were giving him the life of adventure the little boy had always craved. Instead, the Jedi and Obi-Wan had led Anakin to an early grave.
What would the knowledge that those to whom she'd entrusted her son's care had directly contributed to his demise? That after the death of Qui-Gon, Anakin had been given to another whose inexperience and negligence proved fatal.
"She trusted Qui-Gon. She doesn't even know me…"
Another even more disturbing thought burst through Obi-Wan's mind. Would he even be allowed to tell her? Would the Jedi Council even allow Obi-Wan to travel to Tatooine, to say to her Anakin was no longer alive? How would she react knowing she would not be allowed to bury her own child?
He could imagine her before him, wailing, cheeks stained with salty tears, pounding at his chest, cursing his name, calling for her son.
Obi-Wan buried his face in his hands, instead a forlorn attempt to keep together his shattering resolve to remain calm.
"I'm so sorry." His voice was shaking.
It was all a nightmare—a nightmare of his own doing.
Nevertheless, even in the darkest moments, Obi-Wan remembered who he was, a Jedi Master. Giving in to despair would not do Anakin any good or change the situation. He had to find a way to clear his mind. Perhaps a short meditation was precisely what he required. He would be able to replenish himself while continuing his vigil.
Without closing his eyes, Obi-Wan sank into the chair, initiating the process of a meditative trance. He addressed the boy.
"Don't worry, Anakin, I'll be there. Till the very end."
As long he did not fall asleep, it was a promise he would honor. Obi-Wan's eyes closed, and at once, he found himself plunged in the soothing currents of the Force.
All of a sudden, a jet of cool air stirred Obi-Wan out of his meditation. He jolted upwards in his chair as if electricity had shocked him. He had no idea for how long or short had he been mediating. His eyes were wide open and alert, but Obi-Wan did not feel as if he'd been pulled from a mediation. He was just as tired as before, his neck now ached, and the room was somehow darker.
To his horror, he realized he must have fallen asleep.
Quickly, Obi-Wan willed his eyes to adjust to the dark. Ironically, all he hoped now was to hear the cursed beeping.
Beep, beep, beep…
At last, he heard the beeping monitor. He breathed a sigh of relief; his momentary slip had not led to dreadful result.
Nevertheless, something felt strange in the air. An odd sensation reverberated through Obi-Wan's mind. It was as if the whole world had suddenly slowed down to the point of immobility, with him the only living being still able to move.
Suddenly, a blue hallo of light emerged in the dark. The light began swirling in the air before hovering over Anakin's body. Like most glowing in the morning sun before blowing away from the heat. At first, the light was no bigger than a closed fist, but soon it grew, taking on a shape. Before Obi-Wan could process what was happening, the blue light settled into a human form.
Obi-Wan could not see the newcomer's face, the light of the form blinding his eyesight. Once his sight settled once more, he could distinguish a translucent blue hand, gently brushing the side of Anakin's cheek.
Normally, Obi-Wan would have screamed in alarm:
"Don't touch him!"
And lunged after the intruder. However, something in his heart stayed any attack. There was no fear pounding in Obi-Wan breast. Somehow, instinctively, he knew the presence, whoever it may be meant neither him nor Anakin no harm.
His eyes focused on the figure's face, and he let out a gasp. There was no mistaking who the newcomer was.
"It has been a long time Obi-Wan."
"Master Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan exclaimed softly, his mouth opened in awe.
Qui-Gon nodded, a fond smirk orning his lips. He certainly loved the effect his entrance had on Obi-Wan.
How could his old mentor be here, back from the dead! Endeavoring to speak to no avail, his mouth remained open like a Gungan out of water.
"It has been a long time, padawan."
Obi-Wan's heart momentarily swelled. He hadn't been called "padawan" in such a long time.
"I must be dreaming," Obi-Wan murmured hesitantly.
"No, Obi-Wan, you are not."
Obi-Wan didn't listen; instead, he shook his head in bewilderment.
"I must be losing my wits…You can't really be here!" He exclaimed.
It had to be a hallucination induced by a prolonged lack of sleep and nourishment. Obi-Wan tried closing his eyes and opening them again, multiple times in rapid succession. Qui-Gon did not disappear.
"You died!"
"I am aware of that."
Qui-Gon did not take offense at his former's apprentice continued disbelief. He simply chuckled and turned his eyes back to Anakin. At that moment, Obi-Wan didn't care whether he was dreaming or hallucinating. All he knew was that by some miracle, his beloved former master stood before him.
He would have rejoiced, were to not for the terrible possibility that Qui Gon's emergence meant his vigil had come to an end. Qui Gon was the closest thing Anakin had ever had to a father. Unquestionably, he had come to guide Anakin as he too became one with the Force.
Obi-Wan felt his throat constrict, and his eyes burned as he turned his gaze towards Anakin.
"At least he won't suffer anymore."
"Whatever do you mean?" Qui-Gon responded.
"You've come for him, haven't you? Why else would you be here?!" There was a hint of exasperation in his voice. Obi-Wan thought he was stating the obvious.
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon nodded, amused.
"I can see you still haven't lost your flare for the dramatic."
There was a long pause, in which Obi-Wan starred with even more bewilderment at his former master.
"No, I have not come for Anakin. I have come to see you."
The answer took Obi-Wan aback.
"Why?"
'To tell you, you still have the chance to be the mentor Anakin will need for him to fulfill the prophecy."
"You mean, the Chosen One?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan. You saw how Anakin defeated the Shadow. You must realize now that he will be the one to bring balance to the Force."
Even in his strange state of confusion, Obi-Wan hesitated to second Qui-Gon's words. The Chosen One prophecy seemed a constant burden from which neither he nor Anakin could escape.
"Even if it is the case, I can't teach him."
Obi-Wan expected an answer; thus, Qui-Gon's silence and calm expression outraged him.
"I neglected Anakin. I left him here alone and defenseless because…" he stammered, "because I was afraid I would make a mistake."
"All Jedi Masters make mistakes, Obi-Wan; the great ones most of all. We all strive to be the perfect models for our wards, only to be sorely disappointed. It is the lot of every mentor."
Qui-Gon placed a translucent hand over Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"What matters is the lessons you have learned and how in the future you will use this knowledge."
Obi-Wan still refused to face his late master. Qui-Gon knew perfectly well what his state was about.
"Nothing you could possibly have done would've deterred the Shadow from attacking Anakin. The Shadow would not have stopped until it struck its target."
Qui-Gon must-have sensed continued desperation in his former apprentice, for at once he stated resolutely:
"As for the rest, you thought you were doing the right thing."
Momentarily, Obi-Wan looked up.
"I always knew the task of training Anakin would not be easy. I never would I have made you promise to train him if I did not trust you."
"The Jedi Code undeniably has some wisdom, but experience had taught me no Jedi should rely on it completely."
Obi-Wan chuckled lightly. He was aware of his late master's liberal interpretation of the Code and his disregard for its literal meaning.
"Understand that more than a Jedi Master, what Anakin needs is a brother."
Obi-Wan could not protest. He knew perfectly well that the boy craved for a bond far more profound than that of a teacher and student. Nevertheless, the Code's stance on such attachment was abundantly clear. But, perhaps for the sake of his vow to Qui-Gon and his duty to Anakin, he could modify his ways. No matter how radical it seemed.
"I will heed your wisdom, Master." He said before inclining his head respectfully.
Qui-Gon turned to look down once more upon Anakin. Something sinister now clouded his gaze. As if, despite the hopefulness of his words, a bleakness hung above.
"Remember Obi-Wan, Anakin's actions more than your guidance will determine the path by which the prophecy will unfold. When the time comes, Anakin too will have choices to make where he will either follow your teachings or go down another path."
Obi-Wan nodded his head in half, understanding. He was too tired to take in the full importance of Qui-Gon's speech. The balance in his legs had begun to falter, and his head spun slightly. Evidently, the fatigue was getting to him once more. Qui-Gon gently nudged him back towards the chair, directing him to sit once more. Obi-Wan's eyes grew heavier and heavier until they closed shut.
The last thing Qui-Gon said before vanishing was:
"Rest Obi-Wan. All will be well in the morning."
The morning had just arrived when Obi-Wan woke up. Through the single window in the room, he could distinguish the warm amber glow of Coruscant's sun.
Remembering Qui-Gon's words, he looked hopefully at Anakin. Obi-Wan felt his spirit crushed into a thousand pieces when he noticed the boy had still not moved. Worse of all, the beeping had stopped.
It was all over.
He averted his gaze from the body, lying there in the faint warm morning light. He felt his insides clench in unbearable pain. Qui-Gon had never come. None of it was real. It was all a dream—a vivid, cruel, and reckless delusion.
Obi-Wan rose and turned towards the door. He had to inform the healers. As he made his way towards the door, it felt as if his whole world had vanished. It took what seemed an eternity to reach the opening. For a while, he let his head against the door. As much as he couldn't bare to stay in the room any longer, he didn't to be the one to announce that Anakin had died. Obi-Wan began to cry.
Mmmmm
A sight broke the silence before any sob could escape Obi-Wan's lips. It was so subtle it was barely audible, but he heard it. Then there was the rustling of sheets. He heard it too, but more importantly, Obi-Wan could sense movement. Briskly he turned around.
Anakin was lying on his side now, still fast asleep. His legs and arms curled against each other. He'd nuzzled himself in his pillow, facing against the morning light.
"Anak…"
Obi-Wan nearly called out his name but stopped himself before he let out in a deliriously happy scream.
Anakin was alive. It took all his self-control to stop himself from waking the boy or to crush him in a bear-like hug. However, he did not wish to disturb his apprentice. He had something far better to do. Now grinning from ear to ear, a discreet jolty spring in his step, he made his way towards Master Yoda's quarters.
He couldn't wait to see Master Windu's face.
Thank you to all those who have continued to follow this story in spite of the long silence! I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know in the reviews/comments.
Next chapter, Anakin and Obi-Wan are due for a good heart to heart and the mystery behind the Shadow will be revealed.
May the Force be with you!