CH.9: Diaries of the Rooney sisters

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written in what seems forever…kind of got swept up in real life and no time to really retreat into my thoughts. Oh in case you have forgotten me diary, it is Liv. My time away wasn't easy but it did allow me time to embrace my acting chops and embrace that side of me that kind of awoke when I was just a little girl. I lived with my Aunt for 4 years and that kind of meant I hit my teenage years away from home…away from my family. My Aunt started up a bank account for me as I was earning an income, though, much of the money can't be accessed till I hit a certain age.

Yeah they paid me for the series I did, 11ish turning 12 and I learned what it meant to have a steady paying job. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows though…there were days that went over better than others while the rest tension was prominent. I made some good friends on set and each day was an adventure learning dialogue and really getting into our characters.

Hard to believe 4 years flew by so fast and yet the day news broke out our 4th season would be our last we were all devastated. There were genuine tears and group hugs and so many well wishes to the cast and crew. That series finale really shook us and many of us were hoping for a spin off…but…it didn't seem like an option. 4 years was a long journey but it also felt like it was a bittersweet sendoff. Once the series was over I packed my belongings and wound up back home.

It felt nice being back with family, I mean no offense to my Aunt, but this just felt long overdue. I was expecting more or less for things to be the same but upon going to our room Maddie had told me that she had something to tell me. I had no idea the moment she had me in that room of ours she would reveal her biggest secret…one that I admit I was not mentally prepared for.

My sister is not straight. She is a lesbian. Now I have nothing against the LGBTQ Community, but, this is my sister we are talking about, I am talking about…so naturally I may have not reacted the way I should have. I can only imagine how Maddie took it as she likely had yet to tell anyone but was waiting on me. For the record in her letters she never let any of this slip and she appeared to be crushing hard on Diggie, so, yeah, at the time aside from Jetlag I was attempting to figure out my sister whom I had to get to know again.

From there it was meeting up with my mother who more or less was the school psychologist so she kind of figured into my mental state of adjusting to public school after having tutors for 4 years. It is true…last time I was in public school it was so long ago and I wasn't quite prepared for the amount of students. Still I fought to be back here…and…my mother eventually gave in. Turns out though there is this really cute guy named Malcolm whom I met; cute, handsome, me likey. Either way he is a skater and quite the charmer.

However I can't exactly tell him how I feel and then there is the fallout with my sister. Where do I begin? I suppose the simplest thing is my sister kind of wound up agreeing to go to the dance with Diggie, whom apparently confessed how he felt to Maddie but she appeared unable to turn him down. We kind of had a slight dispute but it was nothing compared to what would happen. I took it upon myself to not only dress up as her but to invite Diggie over before school and let him down as Maddie. However what I was not expecting was Diggie to see through my disguise. I guess my acting still needs some improvement.

So yeah I wound up hurting his feelings…but not as much as I did with Maddie. She was not happy one bit and we kind of had it out in front of the school. I eventually had a conversation with Malcolm, and, his advice really got me thinking. Though not sure how I feel about him having a friend who is a girl. Either way patching things up would be no simple matter as proven by just us not even talking but using our brother Joey as a go between.

The dance was coming up and if I was going to dance with Malcolm I needed to figure out what to do about me and Maddie. It didn't help though when some jerk poured punch over me. But some girl I have never seen before intervenes when she punches him. She even offered to loan me her dress but even with punch staining my dress and hair I took that stage and apologized to Diggie and Maddie publicly. Eventually I did get my dance with Malcolm and all was right…but…wish I could say the same about my sister…

Liv looked over as her own sister was busy writing in her own diary. The two of them had done this when they were young as it just felt comfortable doing it when the other did. She still recalled before she left for the show that they had wound up writing in their diaries sometimes asking for spelling of certain words. It was a few weeks or so after the dance and it was the weekend so kind of a bit of downtime from school.

Liv doesn't say anything outright not wishing to interrupt Maddie. She brings out her phone and texts Malcolm as the two had been becoming fast friends. In terms of an actual relationship neither of them had agreed not to rush things and while she had said that part of her still worried about this female friend. Who was she…and…if Holden wasn't her type, shoot.

Dear Diary,

Maddie Rooney writing, so, I know I just wrote in you some time ago but I wanted to update you on events that had come to pass. For starters…when I wrote in you last I was crushing heavily on Diggie, ok, so it has been a long time since I wrote in you. I used to think he was hot, dreamy, the kind of guy you might even say his last name instead of yours. However all of that kind of changed when I looked deep down within myself and suddenly such feelings became…distant, like a faint memory; I began to realize then something was…different.

So while Liv was off living her dream of acting I was on my own digging down and figuring out who I was. Turns out there was this girl at our school, I won't say her name to save her from one day finding out this, but, she got my heart racing and she was cute. This isn't like, oh her dress is cute, no this was actually she was cute and I hope she notices me. Of course she was dating a guy but this was enough to make me realize that all this time these feelings that had laid dormant were starting to come out.

Perhaps it had always been there but I had always ignored it figuring it was wrong to feel such things, that, I should be thinking of boys, that Diggie was my happiness. I am sorry Diggie if you manage to read this one day, but, we will be and always will be friends. The girl and that guy are still together to this day for the record and honestly I am happy for them. I am not the type of girl to wreck another girl's relationship and the guy appears to treat her with respect.

The problem is knowing my feelings, knowing where I stand…doesn't exactly help me figure out how to come out. I wouldn't say our family is super religious but we still go to church and prayer is kind of during moments of crisis or looking for guidance. I am not putting anyone down who believes, but, given the amount of negativity of the LGBTQ Community from religious circles…it does make me question this, but, again not sure I want to cross that line. There are some religious people who accept that, a small amount, but still they exist.

Either way I could never tell my sister in our letters in fear of judgement. I did make a promise to myself to tell her the moment she got back. And sure enough those 4 years went by and Liv was back home. I managed to tell her that we needed to talk and once I told her, yeah, it didn't quite go as I had planned. Liv was dumbstruck and struggling to deal with the fact her sister was a lesbian.

Still life went on or the day more or less. I hadn't expected Diggie to show up and to be honest my basketball game had been a bit off since revealing to Liv about my sexuality. It didn't make matters better when Diggie straight up told me he liked me, like like, and he asked me to the dance. I sort of froze but managed to accept his invite. So…I put myself in a situation most girls who identify like me is panicking over. Is this a denial or a cancellation of my coming out?

Oh I almost forgot...I met this girl, well, don't know her name exactly but there is just something about her. I can't explain it but just from that short interaction it almost felt like there was something there. She knew who I was but I still don't know her name, I feel like screaming but Liv might look at me weird so keeping calm. Still a mystery is afoot and all instincts say to follow and she did tell me if I find her she would tell me her name, just, not exactly sure where to look.

Talking it over with Liv didn't help matters much but I was determined to tell Diggie, just, time was kind of catching up to me. Thing is I didn't expect Liv to dress up as me and turn him down. Diggie though had witnessed my sister and I doing this growing up so naturally he saw through Liv's disguise.

At school I find out from Diggie about the deception and the fact I couldn't tell him myself…kind of bit me in the butt. Still Liv had done some irreparable damage. We had a bit of a fight and went our separate ways. The dance wound up happening and after a talk with Joey I realized I needed to talk to Liv. However turns out Liv was up on stage stained with punch and somehow managed to bring forth an apology like no other.

All is forgiven but upon dancing with Diggie I finally have the courage to tell him, coming out to him as I did with my sister. And…the dance kind of stunk after that.

Maddie looked over at her sister as she appeared to be smiling as she was texting Malcolm. However for herself she had yet to receive anything back from Diggie. Even with these few weeks passing by it was clear her coming out affected him deeply. She looks out her window attempting to enjoy the weather on this beautiful weekend…but…in the end she was beginning to realize the damage between her and Diggie might not repair itself.

Authors note: In this chapter you read the innermost thoughts of the two Rooney sisters. It is also a bit of a catch up of the 8 chapters summarized. Still doesn't mean it isn't worth reading those chapters to get a fuller grasp of what went down exactly. Either way in the 10th chapter Liv and Maddie wind up going to the park and who will be there, hmm.