Epilogue
May 1976
Shelagh blinked at her cat's gaze. He seemed to have taken over of her, betraying his loyalty to Patrick. Now Mist spent the afternoons sitting next to her, or on her lap, letting himself be caressed, calming Shelagh's nerves with his soft purr.
He was looking at her in alert, perhaps sensing that his favorite person was more nervous than usual.
"What is it, little one?" she said, kissing his hairy forehead, "Am I upsetting you?"
"Who's upset here?" she heard Patrick's voice and turned to see him, and instantly felt relaxed, but even more when she saw him arrive with a cup of tea and a saucer of cake.
"I think I'm making Mist nervous."
Patrick looked at the animal, feigning resentment.
"I don't want to know anything about traitors like him," then, denying his words, he caress the cat and brought the cup closer to Shelagh, "Here you go, it is proven that sweet things can calm the nerves a bit."
She smiled, and ate a little piece.
"It's delicious!"
"How are you doing?"
Shelagh sighed, looking at the books and papers scattered on the table. She felt nervous, confused, and completely defeated.
"I don't remember anything."
He took one of her hands, kissed it.
"You know everything, it is your nerves that prevent you from remembering it. Let's see," he took one of the books, turned the pages.
Looking at him, Shelagh could not help but smile. She was not smiling only at him, but at her past, and at her future.
After his total retirement, Patrick was bored. He spent days walking around the house, aimlessly, and doing nothing but complain in silence.
She breathed in and out, counted to ten, recited psalms and hymns in her head, all of that many times, seeking patience. She knew that any word could detonate everything like a deposit of gunpowder, and if Patrick did not understand that, she was the one to do it.
She understood him, the same thing happened to her when she left her job as a nurse, and more than once she regretted having asked him so many times to retire, when clearly he was not prepared for it.
But after the shock of finding himself with nothing to do, Patrick began putting in practice his newfound culinary skills. He liked it and it distracting him, and his entire family appreciated that.
He seemed more upbeat, and stopping running after patients all day had improved his mood, and he seemed healthier.
But Shelagh did not smile at the cakes and cookies, or how funny and at the same time handsome her husband was with a cooking apron and flour in his hands.
Her final exams in the university became increasingly difficult, and despite the burden of that, she found that she enjoyed the process of studying immensely, because Patrick was there.
Together they shared a new activity: sitting together to read, take notes, talk, and exchange opinions. They did it before, but the difference now was that later, Patrick would take the books and make sure that she knew every important thing, helping her with the lessons, and helping her remember complicated concepts. And then they ended up chatting remembering the thousands of cases that together they had resolved.
It was something new and perhaps boring for most people, but one that had brought them much closer together.
She reached out and hugged him, and kissed his cheek. He put the book down, surprised, looking at her and asking wordlessly what was going on.
"Thank you," she whispered back, and they began to read together.
The camera flash blinded her for a second. She did not like photographs very much, but this one was special, and around her, all her mates were smiling, posing for the final image.
She parted from them, greeting, and held tightly to the small piece of cardboard that assured, in neat and elegant letters, that she had finished her specialization "with honors."
She turned to her family, who were waiting at the end of the great auditorium. Angela and May had skipped their classes in order to attend the ceremony, and Teddy looked a bit tired after his sports class, but he was clean and smiling. Behind them, Patrick was looking at her proudly, smiling. She approached, but two teachers were ahead of her, and greeted her husband with great fuss. He returned their kindness, but immediately turned his attention to her.
"Congratulations mom!" May said, hugging her. Angela did the same.
Teddy smiled shyly at her, already too adolescent to feel safe with displays of affection. However, he handed her a small black box.
"I bought you this today, Mom."
"A present for me?" she said taking the object.
"I don't know if you like them, I saw them and I thought..."
Shelagh opened the box, a pair of small earrings sparkled.
"Oh Teddy this is beautiful, but they seem very expensive!"
"No, well, yes but I liked them and..."
Shelagh hugged him and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek.
"My beautiful little man, thank you very much!"
"Oh mom," he parted a little, but she kissed him again, to the delight and mockery of his sisters.
When she released her son, she looked at Patrick.
"Congratulations Shelagh," he said putting a hand on her shoulder. Then he gave her a little kiss on her cheek and whispered in her ear, "I'm so proud of you. You're perfect."
She felt herself blush, she was going to deny such a statement but he stopped her.
"No, don't say you're not. You can't go against what the university says, and they said you are. That certificate you have in your hand affirms it!"
"Okay, Patrick," she looked down, feeling embarrassed but also proud.
"Now we are all going to have dinner as a celebration."
"Yes! Pizza!" yelled Teddy
"Teddy, is a good celebration, you will not pretend that we are going to eat at the grungy pizzeria you always want to go to," May complained.
"It's true," Patrick said, "We'll go to a very elegant restaurant that I already reserved."
"But Patrick..."
"Shelagh, we must celebrate."
She nodded, smiling. On her way to the exit, many people greeted her, including her teachers.
Dr. Staton even asked her to seriously think about being his assistant in obstetrics classes.
She was surprised by such a proposal. She never imagined that someone would be interested in having her at the university to teach. She thought it might be a joke, she even laughed a little nervously, but Staton remained serious.
"I mean it, Mrs. Turner," the man affirmed.
Shelagh looked at her husband and children, immediately began to make mental calculations: how could she balance something else in her life?
She felt Patrick squeeze her hand as she opened her mouth, about to decline the offer.
She glanced at him, and then glanced at her teacher.
"I'll think about it, Dr. Staton."
The man seemed satisfied with the answer.
"But don't take too long to think about it," he said greeting them and walked away.
"Wow, mom will be a professor at the university!" exclaimed Teddy.
"Son, don't say that, I still don't know and..."
"You must give the worst grades to all," laughed May, "The teachers enjoy doing it."
"Oh, I couldn't..."
"Tim told us that you used to teach the nurses at Nonnatus, so you have experience."
She smiled remembering those classes, and also her eldest son, too busy at work to attend this little celebration.
"I said I'll think about it, don't be hasty."
Patrick squeezed her hand again, she smiled.
Indeed, the restaurant that Patrick chose was elegant and expensive, and she felt intimidated, as her children, but as the minutes and the food passed, they were relaxing and laughing, commenting on the great events of the day.
When they got home it was quite late, so the children went to sleep right away.
In the silence of the room, she began to process what had happened. She had a completed specialization, and she would go back to work, just part-time. She no longer felt stupid and a useless old woman, she had the knowledge and all the practice. Unfortunately she must to quit her job in the printing press, but Angela already had her pencils sharpened, ready to relieve her of the position and start making her own money.
Patrick came back from the bathroom, and that surprised her because she thought he was going to go to sleep, since he looked tired. But he took her hand and led her into the bedroom. There he sat her on the bed.
Shelagh looked at him, he was serious, he did not say a word.
"Patrick, is something wrong?"
He sat down next to her, took one of her hands and kissed it. It looked like he was going to say something, but Mist jumped on them and they shouted.
"It's incredible, not only I have to wait for my children to fall asleep to spend time with you, but I also have to fight with this cat," Patrick took the animal, and lowered it from the bed. The cat walked away, offended, wagging its tail and meowing angrily.
"Leave him, poor thing."
"You let him do what he wants; you treat him better than me."
She laughed, shrugging.
"He wins my love because he's very sweet."
"Well, maybe I can win your love too," he winked at her, but got serious. He took her fingers, playing with them. He looked worried, and that worried her too. Nothing had happened at dinner, or all day, that could bother him. Well, except for Staton's proposal, but Patrick seemed happy about it.
"Patrick?"
"Shelagh, I know I haven't been the best husband..."
She frowned, and turned to see him fully.
"Patrick what do you say?"
"Since my retirement I've been the worst, don't deny it."
"Patrick..."
"It's not necessary that you lie, I know that I was, and sometimes I am, quite irritable."
"Well...yes, but I understand you. I, too, was irritable and nervous, and I haven't touched a saucepan or turned on the oven to make dinner in weeks, which I appreciate," she laughed a bit, but he did not join in on her joke, "Patrick?"
"I've been thinking and...Since I'm retired and bored, and you've already finished university…Well, soon you will return to work and you will also teach..."
"Patrick I don't know if I'll do that, besides Staton said it just because, he sure tells everyone the same."
"...you will also teach at the university..." he repeated, this time with a mischievous smile forming on his face.
"What's up with all that?" she said trying to make him leave the suspense and also his serious and at the same time cheerful face that completely disconcerted her.
"I have savings, and added to everything I said before, I decided that we do something else together," he finished, squeezing her hand.
She looked at him, raising her eyebrows. She did not understand where all this conversation was going. In her mind she went over the night, they drank wine, but not so much that he ended up drunk.
Patrick reached over to his nightstand, opened the drawer, and took something out. He turned to Shelagh and handed her a large white envelope. She looked at it, then looked at him, who shook the envelope, urging her to take it.
She took it carefully, and just as carefully opened it. Inside were papers, which she took out. Patrick turned on the bedside table light so she could see better.
"What is...?" she started to say, before reading. Then she realized what it was about, "Airplane tickets?"
She looked at him, not understanding. She still had the horrible memory of Patrick telling her he was going to the Outer Hebrides, so seeing him behaving strangely and then seeing some plane tickets did not calm her down at all.
"What is this, Patrick?" her voice came out harsh, anticipating anything that might crash into her.
"I chose France and Italy, I know you always wanted to know those places, but if you don't want to, we can change and we will go wherever you want. Or we can do something else," he said hastily, suddenly he seemed as embarrassed and childlike as Teddy.
Shelagh opened her mouth, realizing that what was happening was nothing bad, but an extension of the happiness she had experienced that day.
She reached out to caress his face, drawing closer to him.
"Patrick?" she whispered. He shook his head, still staring at the ground.
"Maybe I rushed, and didn't think well. It was an idea I had, and I think I was wrong not to consult you, after all it's a lot of money and...Sorry. We said we will talk about everything, and you see, I..."
Shelagh cut him off, throwing herself at him, hugging him.
"Patrick! It's beautiful! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Are you serious?" he pulled away from her arms, still looking worried, "We can do something else, or nothing, or..."
"No! I want to travel with you! Your idea is great."
"I promise I won't be bothering you. And that I'll take you for a walk, I'll take pictures of you and I won't complain all the time that my knee hurts and…"
Shelagh silenced his spiel with a kiss.
She broke away, laughing though he still did not seem convinced of her answer.
"Shelagh, I promise I'll buy you nice dresses and..." she interrupted him again with a kiss, just to leave him continue with his list of promises, "And we will also have ice cream, do you know that in Italy there are the best ice creams in the world...?" another kiss, "And I'll buy you shoes," another kiss, "perfumes," another kiss, "and I'll ask you to marry me again."
Shelagh released him.
"What did you say?"
"God, the first time I was a disaster because, who asks for marriage in a kitchen? And now I could do better but I hurried."
"What did you say?" A smile began to form on her face, but she was determined to let him speak.
"Oh it's just a very cheesy idea that I came up with. But you know, it's kind of silly because we're already married and it doesn't make sense."
"Say it."
"What thing?"
"Say it. Ask me."
"Oh no, the idea was in Paris, with the Eiffel Tower, and all that they do in the movies."
"Ask me now, Patrick. In Paris you can do it again if you want."
He denied, giggling a little, but taking one of her hands.
"Will you marry me, Shelagh?"
She made a face.
"Mm…let me think about it..."
"Oh no, Shelagh!" He complained releasing her, but she hugged him, throwing him on the bed, laughing and kissing him, this time deeply.
He groaned, pulled her against him, but she pulled away, just to whisper in his ear.
"Yes, I want to marry you. Here, in Paris, and on the moon if possible. Now and always."
He kissed her sweetly, then hugged her and kissed her hair.
"Then we will go on a trip," he said after a few seconds of silence.
She just smiled, kissed his chest and hugged him closer.
Suddenly she could not hold back her tears. Maybe it was all the emotion of the day, or maybe it was because she was grateful, and at the same time she still could not believe that they were just hating each other for so long, without having a minimum gesture of love between them.
Now it was all a bad memory, a lesson learned with blows.
She sat down and took off her glasses, wiped her cheeks.
"Sorry," she whispered, smiling at him. He looked at her worriedly, he also sat down next to her.
"Shelagh, did I say something wrong? Don't you want to go?"
"I don't cry about that, you fool," more tears came out, she felt like an idiot, but she let herself be hugged by him, "I'm just very happy."
"Do I really make you happy, Shelagh?"
She nodded.
"Yes, a lot. I know that we still have our problems, many things happened and sometimes it's inevitable not to remember them but...I love you."
He stroked her hair, and kissed her temple. She felt calm, happy. It seemed like everything that happened for months, it was just a nightmare of one night.
If they hurt each other, yelled at each other, spat out words just to bother each other and separated because of their problems, today because of those same problems, they were together.
And the future looked astonishingly wonderful.
"I love you too, Shelagh," she heard his voice in her ear, and closed her eyes.
What more could she ask for?
Oh, this is so silly, but I wanted Shelagh to fulfill her dreams. Also, they fought throughout the fanfic, they needed some happy moments to assure us that things will go well!
If you got this far, and you endured my delay in updating and my mistakes with English, you should know that I thank you infinitely!