June 2374

The war was ongoing, but Julian found himself strangely at peace. Even after being temporarily shrunken in an odd ship, he was content with how his life was. He had established a routine with Keiko's return to the station: he would wake with Ricky and feed both of them in the morning before carting Ricky and all of his necessary items over to Keiko, Molly, and Yoshi for the entirety of the day shift. He would pick Ricky up around dinner and they would go home.

Fortunately for him, Ricky was a very peaceful baby and so the evenings were quiet and Julian did, on occasion, want to go to Quark's with Miles for darts or a holo-suite game, but his responsibilities as a parent came first and foremost. Besides, Miles would come by most evenings for a portable dart game after his family was asleep and that was enough for now.

On one of the rare days he actually had off, Julian was rocking Ricky in a swing that Miles had made for him whilst checking messages and scheduling from his computer. Most of the messages were well-wishes from people throughout the ranks and on the station, but some were official and one was a message from Captain Grayson, asking how her sister was doing on the station.

At that message, Julian froze; he had thought that Dr. Grayson had left on the Spokane after indicating that she might, which was her reason for not showing up to the baby shower. He was now concerned and found himself checking the Sickbay work schedule, which caused his jaw to drop in both anger and shock: Dr. Grayson had been working night shifts since late March and nobody had thought to message him about it. He was supposed to be Chief Medical Officer!

"Bashir to Odo," Julian spoke in a concerned voice, tapping a button on his computer. "Got a sec?"

There was a brief silence, "Odo here," a gruff voice replied. "What's the problem?"

"Could you come to my quarters for a chat?" Julian asked in a concerned voice. "Right now?"

Without waiting for a response, Julian ended the call and decided to not tell Captain Grayson that he didn't know anything about it. By the time the message made it to her, it would be irrelevant.

The door chime rang, "Come in," Julian called out, hoping that Ricky wouldn't get upset.

Odo slithered under the door and rematerialized, prompting Ricky, who was awake and being quiet, to babble happily, "Well, good morning to you too," Odo replied pleasantly, smiling at the infant before looking at Julian. "You called me on a secure channel, so I assume it's urgent?"

"Yeah," Julian spoke quietly. "Did you know that Doctor Grayson didn't transfer to the Spokane? I thought she did because I haven't seen her since that day she brought Ricky from Sickbay."

Odo paused and Julian frowned at his colleague, "You knew that she didn't leave," he realized.

"I know you were not here during Dukat's reign of terror, so I'll be as blunt as I can," Odo replied in an unusually solemn voice. "There was endless violence against people on this station and the good doctor stepped in to help. I knew the situation would get grim fast, so I pretended to be aligned with the Female Changeling and the Dominion so that Mary could escape…"

Julian frowned, "Escape?" he replied worriedly. "She told me she would be fine here!"

"She said she could handle it, not that she would be fine," Odo corrected. "She can handle a lot."

Julian suddenly felt guilty and it must have shown on his face because Odo sighed, "Really, Doctor Bashir, you were pregnant and not capable of enduring such a thing under such terrible circumstances," Odo explained bluntly. "If you really want to know about it now, though…"

"Nerys mentioned Jake as well," Julian spoke worriedly. "What exactly happened?"

Odo sighed, "This story will take a long time and if I wasn't certain of the obvious distress not knowing is causing you, I would keep quiet," he replied calmly. "I hope you have some time."

Julian nodded and waited patiently as Odo got himself situated, sighing only when Odo spoke.

The chime repeated again and again, but Jake Sisko lay in bed pointedly ignoring it. He was tired from his late-night counseling session in the holosuite with Dr. Grayson, but the sessions had been helping; they weren't just boring sessions in Sickbay, they were some sort of activity and conversation only when either of them felt like it. He was beginning to feel better.

"Jake?"

Jake groaned as he opened his eyes, his expression shocked when he saw his father standing beside his bed looking worried, "You're sleeping at this time of day?" Captain Sisko asked in a concerned voice as he sat on the edge of the bed. "If you're sick, you should tell Doctor…"

"I'm not sick, Dad, just tired," Jake replied, grabbing a notebook off the table and sitting further up as he thrust it into his hands. "I get late night counseling. That's my therapy journal."

Captain Sisko frowned, "Therapy journal?" he replied. "Late night counseling with whom?"

"Doctor Grayson does the night shifts in Sickbay with Jabara and leaves Jabara to run the place while we go to the holosuite for an activity and talk," Jake explained groggily, sighing as he realized his father didn't know. "I got beat up a lot by the Dominion when you were gone and Grayson helped me a lot. She rents a holosuite and we do an activity and talk about it…"

At a loss for words, Captain Sisko opened the journal and thumbed through it. Jake had kept logs of the activities, what they had talked about, and how he had felt as a result of the counseling. He also mentioned injuries and how his journalism talent had gotten him into trouble while his father had been away. Jake sighed and Captain Sisko responded by returning the journal to him.

"I hope she's not in trouble," Jake mused worriedly, frowning. "I didn't want Doctor Bashir to worry about either of us, so we've hidden the sessions well. I'm sure he's found out by now…"

Captain Sisko sighed, "She won't be in trouble, but Doctor Bashir may have a few gentle words with her about keeping secrets from the station's Chief Medical Officer," he replied in a reassuring voice. "I'm assuming Major Kira and Odo are aware of this situation?"

"They threatened Quark with a year in jail and a broken hand if he dared comment on why we were doing late night sessions in the holosuite," Jake explained softly. "Nog knows too, but I swore him to secrecy and he's pretty good about keeping secrets for me…"

Captain Sisko nodded, "If Doctor Bashir doesn't get too upset, I'd like to keep meeting with her but maybe not so late at night," Jake admitted with a yawn. "Humans need their sleep."

Smiling, Captain Sisko kissed Jake's forehead before getting up, "Thank you for telling me," he spoke in a calming voice. "You get some rest and I'll go see what else I can learn about this."

Jake nodded and quickly returned to sleep while Captain Sisko silently showed himself out.

The conversation between himself and Odo had taken several hours and Julian had wanted it that way because he wanted every detail that Odo was willing to provide. When Odo had finally left, Julian spent time in deep thought while feeding himself and Ricky. Once both of them were fed, he found himself wanting to talk with his colleague about the information he had gotten.

With that thought in mind, Julian found himself at the O'Brien's door near dinner time with Ricky and the the things Ricky would need overnight and was relieved when Keiko answered, "Julian," Keiko answered warmly, smiling at them. "How are you doing?"

"I'm all right, but I need a favor," Julian replied smoothly. "I've got some medical research to do tonight and it'll be an all nighter of work for me. Would you and Miles be willing to babysit?"

Keiko nodded and Julian handed Ricky over, "Thank you," Julian spoke softly. "Bye Ricky!"

Ricky merely yawned and fell asleep in Keiko's arms as Julian handed over a bag of supplies he had put together for the night, "I'll be back in the morning," Julian promised. "Thanks again."

Once Keiko had gone inside with Ricky, Julian silently made his way from the Habitat Ring to the Promenade and his first stop was Quark's, as it was around the time that Odo indicated that Jake and Dr. Grayson would visit with a holosuite booking. Quark, however, was alone in the bar and looking quite bored, "Evening, Quark," Julian said calmly. "Anyone using the holosuites?"

"Usually, yes, but not tonight," Quark replied irritably, a sigh in his voice. "Why?"

Julian sighed and gave Quark a look, prompting Quark to eye him, "You know," Quark realized.

"I know," Julian admitted in a quiet, but firm voice. "What time are they scheduled for?"

Quark scoffed, "Not tonight and not until next week," he replied calmly. "Dunno why."

Nodding, Julian left the bar and frowned when he suddenly noticed an unusually somber looking Garak skeetering out of his shop and down the hallway carrying a handmade pillow and blanket, anxiously gazing around to make sure he wasn't being followed. Julian moved just out of sight and watched as Garak disappeared into the infirmary down the corridor with the items.

Deeply concerned as to what was happening in what was supposed to be his infirmary, Julian wandered down the corridor and swallowed hard as he silently entered the infirmary, "…I spotted him in Quark's, but my dear, you should really have told him before now," Garak's voice filtered through the air. "And you ought not to kick all the nurses out. You need help to do…"

An anxious squawk filled the air, "For God's sake, Elim, sit down before you faint," Dr. Grayson's voice spoke in a mock annoyed tone. "I never knew you to be so squeamish."

"Mary, how can you just slip that into your arm without so much as a flinch?" Garak replied.

Julian had heard enough and he moved further into the infirmary just in time to see Garak sit in a chair beside one of the biobeds where Dr. Grayson was sitting in uniform with a strange looking syringe taped to an arm that had the sleeve rolled up, "What's this?" Julian asked in a concerned voice, frowning as he eyed the set up and saw the pillow and blanket on the biobed.

"Around the time that Commander Worf and Commander Dax were preparing to get married, I started feeling off," Dr. Grayson explained softly. "I ran a scan and I've got issues…"

Julian frowned, "I managed to synthesize a chemotherapy type drug that will help, but it makes me unfit for ship duty," Dr. Grayson spoke softly. "Elim helped me get the supplies…"

"Why didn't you let me know?" Julian asked in an upset voice. "I could have helped…"

Dr. Grayson sighed, "In hindsight, I should have," she replied softly. "I do apologize."

Julian sighed and Dr. Grayson offered him a PADD, "My data," she explained quietly.

"I'd actually prefer to run my own scan because one cannot scan themselves," Julian replied in a calm, but professional voice. "I might be able to offer you a less physically taxing solution."

Dr. Grayson sighed, but laid down and Julian silently proceeded to run a scan while Garak watched from his chair, "So was Jake part of the ruse?" Julian asked in a quiet voice.

"No, but he knows I'm not feeling well and will need several days to recover from this," Dr. Grayson replied in a tired voice. "It took a while to get, but it seems the best option…"

Julian eyed the scans carefully and then watched as the drug began interacting with her body, "I don't think you'll need more than the single dose," he finally spoke. "It's a tumor in one ovary and it's cancerous, but I can remove it safely and put you on less horrible medicine."

"Jake knows," Dr. Grayson spoke softly, sighing. "He's concerned. Could you maybe check on him for me while I'm recovering, Doctor Bashir? Just to make sure he stays on track?"

Nodding, Julian quickly moved out of sight to change into surgical clothes and get the things he needed to perform surgery. He wanted to call a nurse for help, but as he changed, he suddenly heard Dr. Grayson's soft voice speaking to what sounded like Jabara over a combadge.

When Julian was finally dressed and ready, he returned with the proper supplies and was surprised to see Jabara already there in a surgical outfit, "Elim, please tell Jhanathan he was right and so were you," Dr. Grayson spoke softly, sighing. "I should have said something sooner."

"I'll be going while they do the surgery, but I'll be back in the morning to sit with you," Garak spoke in a calming voice, sighing before he took his leave from the quiet Sickbay.

Julian smiled at his colleague kindly as he picked up a sedative hypospray from the tray, "I'm going to sedate you now," he explained calmly. "When you wake, you'll be in a stasis field from the waist down so you can rest and at least Jabara will be here with you. Time to go to sleep."

Using the gentlest touch he could manage, Julian sedated Dr. Grayson and then began to get to work because he knew that he and Jabara would need to work gently, but quickly to be of help.

Hours later, after the surgery was complete and Nurse Jabara had kicked him out to go spend breakfast time with his son, Julian found himself back in his quarters with Ricky and all of the things he had left with the O'Briens the night before. He had wanted to stay to make sure post-op went well, but Jabara had reminded him that he also had a responsibility to his son.

Julian found himself quickly tiring while feeding Ricky breakfast and he was on the verge of falling asleep quickly enough that he thought about cutting breakfast short, putting Ricky down for a nap, going to bed, and sleeping until noon. Suddenly, however, his computer beeped.

"Incoming message from Earth," the computer spoke. "Incoming message from Earth."

Sighing, Julian set the food aside, "Computer, broadcast message," he spoke in a soft voice.

Julian frowned when he saw his mother's face appear on the screen looking concerned and annoyed, "Julian, why didn't you tell me that Ricky was born premature?!" Amsha Bashir asked in an upset voice. "I just heard through the newsfeeds that he was born back in April!"

"Um, he was and he was very premature," Julian replied nervously, frowning. "How are you?"

Amsha sighed, "Lonely," she replied in an irritated voice. "At least the Federation is allowing your father and I to write to each other, but it's lonely. I put in a request with the Federation that you get some time off so you can bring Ricky to meet me, but they refused the request."

Julian froze, "Mother, you shouldn't have done that because it will send the message to the Federation that I'm not competent enough to do my job and be a single father," he replied in a concerned, slightly upset voice. "Besides, any requests I make for visits to Earth or any requests made by others for me to visit Earth will be denied until Father finishes his sentence..."

"So you and Ricky are stuck on the space station on the front lines?!" Amsha asked worriedly.

Julian sighed, "I'm afraid so, but I get people to babysit him while I'm working," he replied.

"That station is not safe for a baby!" Amsha snapped. "You nearly lost him in an explosion!"

Anxiety began to fill Julian and he realized that he was in need of his mood stabilizers, "Why would the Federation even let you keep him there?" Amsha spoke angrily. "I've heard stories...!"

"Have you been trying to push the Federation to try and get Ricky taken away from me to give him to you?" Julian asked in a confused, slightly frightened voice. "Mother, did you?"

Amsha scoffed, "I'm under house arrest for a year, Julian, and people don't visit!" she replied anxiously, realizing the conversation was going badly. "Your work is your life and grandparents do have rights in this century. I simply asked Starfleet if they could evacuate Ricky to Earth while you're busy with the war because that filthy station is no place for a helpless infant! And you're still recovering from what happened to you in the camp! Can you even handle a baby?!"

Nausea filled Julian, but he sighed anxiously to curb it, "Computer, end call," he ordered softly.

As the call ended, Julian got up and silently moved Ricky from his highchair to his swing, placing his blanket on the child in hopes that he would nap. He couldn't believe that his mother was so lonely and desperate for company that she would file a request with Starfleet to force her grandchild to Earth regardless of how the grandchild's parent would feel about the separation.

This is for the best, Jules. His father's voice echoed through Julian's mind as he sat on the couch and tried to calm himself. The phrase, spoken with a tone of patronizing demand, was one of the last phrases his father had uttered before taking him to Adigeon Prime for the genetic enhancement procedures. He felt like yet again, his parents were being unfair and demanding.

The door chime suddenly rang, prompting Julian to swear loudly, forgetting Ricky's presence.

"Come in," Julian spoke, quickly calming himself in case it was an official visit.

The door slid open and Captain Sisko came in with a tablet in hand, "Doctor, I thought I should talk to you personally," he spoke in a concerned voice. "Starfleet sent me an urgent message..."

"My mother just called me about it," Julian replied grimly. "She's trying to take Ricky away."

Captain Sisko sighed, "She's filed paperwork with Starfleet deeming that you're not a fit guardian due to your PTSD and that Deep Space Nine isn't a safe place for a child," he explained in a solemn voice. "Starfleet asked me to handle it, but has already told her that transporting an infant to Earth would take time and resources we don't have available right now because of the war."

Julian exhaled anxiously, his expression sad, "She's lonely because she's under house arrest and she and my father can only write," he explained bitterly. "I told her that I'm not allowed to visit Earth or not allowed to be summoned to Earth until Father's done his sentence, but she wants me to send Ricky on his own. If Starfleet forces me, I don't know if I'll ever see my son again..."

"I managed to talk to JAG personally and got them to agree to a compromise," Captain Sisko explained as he came over to the couch, sat, and showed Julian the tablet. "Have a look."

Julian took the tablet and scanned it, "Parental fitness assessments?" he replied. "Every month?"

"I don't like it either, Doctor, but it's what I was able to swing as your commanding officer," Captain Sisko explained in a concerned voice. "Starfleet needs you where you are right now and there are resources here that can help you. I just need you to sign the contract if you agree..."

Julian sighed, "I thought we were doing well, but I've felt more lost than usual about certain things," he admitted softly, his expression upset. "He's not a typical baby and I'm not a typical..."

The word mother died on Julian's lips because he wasn't sure what he was; he was a man who had given birth and was now trying to raise an infant alone. He had tried to do what he could...

"I was told by Jake that Doctor Grayson would be unavailable for the next little while, but I've made other arrangements," Captain Sisko spoke calmly. "You'll need to go to weekly counseling with Counselor Telnorri and also meet with myself or others on the senior staff who have had parental experience for guidance. I promise, though, that they will not try to take over your responsibilities as Ricky's parent. Your space and rights will be perfectly respected."

Swallowing hard, Julian gazed helplessly at Ricky; it wasn't fair that his right to be a parent and parent however he liked was being called so much into question that he was now forced to prove his fitness for the job through ridiculous exercises. His dignity, skills, and competency had been thrown into question ever since the pregnancy had been forced upon him by the Dominion's experimentation and he was sick of having to prove himself. It wasn't just about him, though...

I have to think of Ricky and what's best for him. Julian thought silently as he was met with a smile by the infant who trusted him implicitly and had been nothing but a peaceful child who was extremely attached to his only parent. Maybe learning how to be a better parent will actually help us become closer and I've still got too much pride, arrogance, and fear inside me.

"I love you," Julian spoke in a soft voice as he gently stroked Ricky's forehead briefly with his calloused fingers before turning back to Sisko and applying his signature to the proper line.

Not wanting to give himself a chance to reconsider, Julian handed the signed tablet to Sisko.