It…it happened so fast. My head was still spinning trying to process it all.
Darkness was doing just fine one minute, blocking Beldia's attacks with superhuman proficiency. But all it took was one opening in her defenses to leave her on the ground, coughing up specks of blood in a growing red puddle.
It was so hard to watch her scramble to retrieve her sword and lean on it like a cane. Worse still, now that her front body was facing me, I had front row seats to the hideous gash going from her right collarbone all the way down to her left hip. My heart sank into my stomach.
But why? Why was I getting so worked over Darkness? It wasn't just the nausea of seeing her armor caked in blood, there was something else to it. Maybe my worry stems from Beldia's show of power; it's obvious now that he's way stronger than a Griffin or Manticore if he can make Darkness bleed that. Y-yeah, that has to be it, that's the only logical explanation!
There's nothing more to it…I'm positive…I think.
Amazingly, Darkness took a page out of Theodore Roosevelt's book and stood up in spite of her injury.
"Darkness, PLEASE SURRENDER! Just let me talk to him, I'm sure we can strike a deal- -"
She cut me off, "I am a Crusader! I will not stand down while innocent lives are at stake! My duty is to protect!"
Her damn heroism is only gonna get her killed!
The mortally wounded knight turned to face the approaching headless knight. Although it seemed even that had become difficult for her judging by the way she was breathing funny.
"B-besides…this man...This man knoooows exactly what he is doing~"
…No. No, no, you can't tell me that's why she was breathing funny – you just can't!
Beldia halted his progress towards her when she made that suggestive comment. "What nonsense slips from thine tongue?"
"Oh-ho-ho, don't try and play dumb! You have been assessing my armor and mentally undressing me in the process. So, instead of stripping it all away like a creepy old undead man, you are deliberately choosing which parts to leave intact. You wish to publicly humiliate me by leaving fleeting glimpses of my naked flesh between the cracks of my armor."
Is that what this was about? Did she never believe she was in any real danger!?
The short answer: yes. By some wonder of the universe, this hardcore sub managed to turn her dire situation into something kinky.
Darkness stepped forward to Beldia, who promptly stepped back in response; whether it was out of fear or embarrassment was anybody's guess.
"Fiend! Standing there plotting where your next blow will land…Very well, hit me! Hit me now! MY BODY IS READY!"
"Wha- ? I- ? No, shut up! These people will get the wrong idea about me!"
I remembered being so frustrated in that moment that my toes curled inwards in anger. That meatheaded perv made me think she was dying, but, as it turns out, I was just being a paranoid idiot! And now she's back to her usual shenanigans like nothing ever happened. So yeah, excuse me for being just a little bit fucking salty!
"Would you, for once, please consider the time and place woman!? Now is not the time to get your freak on! Save at night for when the other freaks come out!"
The masochistic flinched at my words. "Gurk…! You consider the time and place yourself, Spicer! It's already taking all my willpower to endure public flogging from this monster, I don't need you throwing insults at me too! Unless…you two are taking turns berating me...? What delicious torment are you and this Dullahan planning!?"
"We're not planning anything!" sputtered Beldia, rightfully so.
"Yeah, what do you take us for? We may be evil, but we at least have standards!"
"Let's go! Create Water!"
Suddenly, a pool of water formed above Darkness and Beldia. The headless knight jumped out of the way while the non-headless one got drenched. I wasn't sure what I tried to accomplish there, but at least his boots were wet...So that shut them up.
"I normally do not mind harassment when I'm not expecting it, but you really do need to consider the time and place for foreplay, Jack~"
Hormones usurped my rational thinking, and I found myself struggling to tell her that that wasn't me. I almost didn't notice Yunyun of all people taking center stage.
"Cursed Lightning!"
Electricity crackled from her fingertips and lashed at the puddle Beldia and Darkness were standing in. Their conducive metal armor combined with the water produced a shocking result, pun and all. The currents of magical electricity surged across their bodies and the twitches intensified. Beldia hollered in pain while Darkness…well, hollered in pleasure.
I probably would've freaked out seeing her like that, but, after that fake scare she gave me, I know better. Of course, I should've known since her recruitment day. If that girl could tank two Explosions, two beasts of legend, and one otherwise fatal wound to the chest while getting excited, she'll be fine.
Yunyun didn't see it that way.
"I'm so sorry Lady Darkness! Please forgive me! I was under pressure and Kazuma pushed me to do it!"
"Phrasing, Yunyun, phrasing! Anyway, I told you to zap him after I splashed him with water so that I could do this: STEEEEEAL!"
The "animation" for the Steal skill played out exactly the same as when Chris first demonstrated it to me. Except, after the flash died down, Satou was left with absolutely nothing to show for in his hand. In fact, he might as well have had his dick in it since that's about all he was caught with.
"HAH-hah-aaahhh…Clever trick, but did you really think a low-leveled adventurer's Steal would be enough to take my blade? I didn't think so. And now, to put an end to this farce."
A random mage from the crowd of adventurers behind me suddenly cried out, "Oh yeah? W-well, just wait until Mitsurugi Kyouya gets here with his Sacred Sword! Then you'll be sorry!"
That got the crowd riled up with cheers of anticipation. I, on the other hand, was sweating major bullets when I heard that.
"Mitten Kenya?" I mumbled to myself. "The do-gooder turned bad whose sword I melted down to make…emotion chips?"
My eyes locked on to the sad ring of cleanly sliced JackBot torsos twenty paces behind Beldia. I then rotated my shaky head to look back at my other two companions over at the gate. They only had concerned shrugs to offer me.
I may or may not have goofed up royally.
The now fried Beldia resumed his casually stride toward the city. "Go ahead. Let your champion come."
Okay, never mind, I DID GOOF UP ROYALLY!
Seeing the murderous Dullahan slowly advancing once more, I gladly took my golden opportunity to run away backwards into the crowd of adventurers. Predictably, it didn't take long for him to get cut off by Darkness trying to, well, cut him off…again…and failing.
"I grow tired of these interruptions!"
Beldia became enraged and unleashed a flurry of sword slashes at her; he was too fast for her to do anything other than tank the blows.
I gotta brainstorm something soon or else that's gonna be me! Okay, so, his head is an obvious weak spot, but how to exploit it? What if I use Bind to tie-up his hands so that he'll drop it? That probably won't work; it seems low-leveled skills are automatically negated by enemies whose Level is higher than the caster. Which would definitely explain why Meatloaf was able to cut through my ropes so easily yesterday.
C'mon, teen genius, there's gotta be another way to distract him!
"Water…"
I looked over to see Satou murmuring to himself.
"What?"
"Water, that might be his weakness. Did you see how quick he was to dodge out of the way of my splash zone? That might be because Create Water's water is blessed by magic, almost like holy water! Undead hate that stuff!"
"I'll ask again: what?"
"Baka – just watch what I do!"
Chanting the Create Water skill out loud again, the weeb blasted a small jet of water directly at Beldia, who was staring down an unconscious Darkness. Like Satou had pointed, the general seemed to have a strong aversion for water as he jumped out of the way before it could touch him.
Beldia was suddenly blasted with water, courtesy of the weeb standing next to me. Like Satou had pointed out, he seemed to literally jump and move out of the way before it could touch him.
"Everyone! Hit him with water spells!"
Green Bean's command went through to all the other mages who spammed Create Water alongside him. It was a warzone for old Beldia, and he was stuck in the middle of no man's land with no cover. The Dullahan hopped all around the field trying so hard to avoid the splashes.
"HEY, what're you – stop this! Stop this at once! Curse you, curse you all!"
I would be taking potshots at him too, but I had no mana left to do any sort of magic. So that just left me to kind of stand there by myself. Much like dodgeball day at gym class.
"Well, at least I'm not the one that's getting gangbanged this time around."
"Hey Jack, I know you're having one of your insane ramblings right now, but why is everyone else having a water fight all of a sudden?"
I turned to face Aqua and shouted, "Does this look like a game to you!? Water is that guy's weakness, and you of all people should be pitching in! Even a useless bum goddess such as yourself must know at least one water move!"
She stomped her foot and retaliated, "How dare you be imprudent with me! I'll have you know that, as a water goddess, I can use flood-class water magic."
"Then what're ya waiting for, an invitation? Do it already!"
"Not so fast. I'm not doing squat for you until you apologize for calling me useless first."
"Fine, I'm sorry for what I said. Now get to work, you glorified watering can!"
"MEANIE! That's even more disrespectful than calling me useless! That tears it; I'll show you exactly what a 'glorified watering can' is capable of…"
A blue angelic cipher circle began spinning under Aqua's toes while as all the water puddles made during the fight swirled around her like a miniature typhoon.
"Oh my followers," she said soft-spoken, "please, your goddess requires your assistance. Send in your prayers and lend me thy power."
Beldia stopped moving when he noticed the goddess charging up at an alarming rate. He took that as his cue to leave, however, before he could book it, Darkness spontaneously woke up and grabbed him by the leg.
"AHH! Let go of me you degenerate!"
"Your words hit like hammers~"
"Don't say it like that!"
I watched on in amusement as Beldia tried with all his might to retreat as fast as he could with a horny knight in tow. Then he trudged through the circle of broken JackBots, only to be just as surprised as I was when they suddenly sparked back to life and latched on to his legs with their mechanical claws! Pretty soon the whole squad was aiding Darkness in holding him down to prevent his escape!
That's my boys: fighting till the bitter end! Even when they're nothing but torsos, they'll continue to carry out my will for world domination…
Why can't everyone be emotional robots?
"Sacred Create Water!"
Cumulonimbus clouds replaced the peaceful white wisps in the sky. Rain trickled the fields in a light shower, but it wouldn't last long. It began to rain cats and dogs, and the wind turned into a harsh wall of moving air.
In the direction Beldia had been attempting to limp away to, much of the water had already accumulated in the hills that a large tsunami formed and rushed inwards. His screams were drowned (in more ways than one) by the waves as they engulfed him. Omi can eat his heart out.
Anyway, I was about to tell Aqua that was enough until I noticed she still had her eyes closed in that little magic trance of hers. And that the flood was also upon us with no signs of stopping.
Megumin, who was standing next to me, held onto my person in a momentary need for security. In that very instance, I activated the HeliBot to shoot us directly up into the overcast sky right before the tip of the tsunami licked our boots.
We both had the right idea to not look down after hearing all the wet, sloshing destruction below us. So the kid and I hovered in the air together until the noises simmered down to a calm drip.
As we made our slow descent back down to whatever was left of the land, the two of us surveyed the damage caused by Aqua.
There were puddles scattered around as far as the Farsight skill would allow me to see. Those who were in the process of picking their wet bodies up were soaking wet, no surprise there. Sadly, this also applied to the remnants of Attack Squad Sigma. If they were semi-functioning before, they weren't anymore now that they're waterlogged. I'm gonna have to gut out their shells and reinstall everything from within. Damnit.
To try and take my mind off the new workload ahead of me, I gawked at what was left of the front gates. Even the first block of the residential zone got hit by Aqua's miniature flood. If I may geek out for a moment here, the whole setup reminded me of the ending of the Invader Zim episode, "The Wettening". Funnily enough, I think I was watching that very episode on the day that I died and got reincarnated.
"By the gods, Jack, look. It's Beldia. He's still standing!"
I thought something smelled like wet undead (which is absolutely RANK). Megumin alerted me to the Devil King general pulling himself out of a large puddle nearby. After his head coughed out a mouthful of water, he weakly yelled at the water goddess responsible – wait, how the Heylin was she dry after all that!?
"You…! What is wrong with you…? Lady, are you insane!?"
What I and many of the other adventurers noticed was a certain Japanese teenager creeping up behind Beldia as he was venting. Once Satou got into range…
"STEAL!"
One eye-straining flash of light later, and Beldia's body stood completely still. Except there was just one small, teensy-weensy little thing missing from his person.
"Wha- I- oooh nooo."
I watched as Satou lifted Beldia's head up to his face and glowered it down with an, admittedly, impressive evil grin. Of course, mine's better, but his was definitely sinister enough to make a decapitated head produce sweat beads through his helmet. This is why being evil has its perks.
But anyway, now that Beldia's head was successfully taken, we've basically already won! So why don't we have some fun with it? I mean, there's never been any harm in running a victory lap.
"Hey guys! Anybody want me to show you how to play soccer?"
I had a better game in mind.
While Satou was distracted, I snuck up behind him and karate chopped the base of his neck, knocking him out and allowing me to scoop up the Dullahan's head.
"Forget soccer! Who's up for a game of b-ball instead?"
"B-ball!?" reiterated the head in horror.
"Yup, it's short for basketball," I explained as I dribbled him, causing his head to yelp with each bounce. "The object of the game is to dribble the ball around and pass it to other players in order to shoot it through a hoop!"
I jokingly passed the head over to a dude wearing a blue jacket. He examined it at first, then proceeded to dribble it as well. Pretty soon, everybody was getting a feel for the game.
Everybody except for Yunyun – who was fretting over her KO'd partner – and this one guy wearing a red jacket. He was too busy shouting random declarations like "My tomatoes are ruined!" and such. I dunno, his problem, not mine.
The rest of the adventurers, however, broke into teams of two with each team trying to pass the "ball" to their respective members.
A girl wearing a green hoodie piped up and asked, "Wait, what can we use for a net?"
Modern problems call for modern solutions.
I hovered 10 ft. in the air and formed a ring with my arms.
"Here, dunk it in my arms!"
The girl dribbled the head and performed a decent hook shot maneuver, slamming it into my "net". Beldia could be heard shouting how he was gonna hurl on the way down. That made me laugh, not evilly or anything, but just out of the sheer hilarity of it all.
"Jack? Do you have a minute?"
I saw Darkness fully recovered and standing next to the motionless body of the Headless Horseman's stepson.
"I know you're having fun right now, but don't you think it's about time we wrap this up?"
"Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right…Aqua, would you care to do the honors?"
Coming from the bowels of Axel, a flower bud staff defied the laws of gravity and flipped through the air. It made it all the way to the shattered outer wall until it was caught by a water goddess' manicured hand. A sparkling pink raiment cloaked itself around her neck and her flower bud opened up, revealing a heavenly light from within.
"It'll be my pleasure, Jack. Sacred Turn Undead!"
A pillar of pure light pierced through the storm clouds and absorbed Beldia's inanimate body. I dropped to the ground and picked up the Dullahan's head. We stared at each other for a bit until I gave him a cheesy grin before saying a one-liner line not even a B-list action movie would bother using.
"Just call me, Air Jack."
One jump shot directly into the light pillar, annnnd…
"I'll see to it that you suffer in- -" The head unceremoniously disintegrated into the light with no further noise. Aqua dispersed her spell at the same time the clouds dispersed, irradiating the mushy land in a godly glow.
I said to myself, "Hmm, it's getting way too bright and cherry for my tastes. Let me try to darken the mood with one of my diabolical laughs of foreshadowing."
However, before I could even gulp in enough air, I suddenly felt completely drained and weak. It was so bad, my body couldn't possibly ignore it any longer and shut down.
In my last few seconds of hazy consciousness, I think I saw three people rush over shouting something at me. Well, at least I was finally going to be getting a full twelve-hour sleep session, so that's what counts, right?
Once in a blue moon, I'll actually wake up feeling refreshed and ready to start the day. And guess what? The moon must've been blue because other than having a couple of bones pop from sitting up in my haystack, I felt completely rejuvenated. The only thing that was off was my internal clock for obvious reasons; I had no idea what the time or day was.
Seeing as how I fell asleep with my wrist device still strapped on, I booted it up to check the calendar app. And OH BOY did I oversleep big time! It's already well into the next day! Can you say circadian rhythm? 'Cuz I certainly can't!
"Y'know, maybe starving myself of sleep each and every night isn't the best for my long-term health. Then again, evil never rests for anyone. Isn't that right, JackBots?"
No beeps, boops, or bops of affirmation…
"…Homeboys?"
It was only after scanning the stables that I finally noticed the unsubtle pile of scrap metal located right next to the pink elephant. My bots have definitely seen better days, but they've also seen much worse days. At the very least, it looks like they dried off overnight. All I really have to do is replace their innards, weld their torsos back together, and voilà: bad as new!
Standing up, I did my pre-robot-reassembly stretches until I spotted the sticky note stuck onto JB-D3V4574702's helmet lid. I peeled it off and read it aloud.
" 'Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Did you have a nice dream? Was your #1 favorite goddess in it? I hope so because you were out like a light! Seriously, we did everything we could to get you back up! First we tried splashing water on your face (provided by yours truly), but that didn't work. Then we convinced Darkness to sit on your chest to jolt you awake, but that didn't work either. Even Megumin's LOUD Explosion magic wasn't enough! So we eventually caved and brought you back to the stables to rest. Let this be a reminder to get a good night's sleep, young man! If you need us, we'll be at the guild celebrating. Signed, Aqua.' "
…Did I really sleep through Darkness sitting on me? I…don't know how I feel about that.
"What am I even thinking!? These are Aqua's words! She probably made up most of that garbage just to get a rise out of me! Well what's the point in doing that if you're not around to see my reaction, stupid? Ah whatever, let's just go meet the others at the guild."
Of course, it had to be noon by the time I regained consciousness. And because I used the last of my sunblock yesterday, that meant having to skulk in the shadows to avoid the harmful UV rays. Yup, nobody else in this stinking town has to deal with this annoying problem except for me. Sometimes I hate being the only albino.
Either way, I reached my destination and booked it indoors with as little exposure to the sun as possible. I identified Megumin, a fried frog leg in each hand, racing up to me the second I was in her line of sight.
"Jack, you're awake! Perfect timing too, I need your help with something."
She then gestured over to Darkness chatting with Sedol, Heinz, and Galil over a drink. "Darkness is being super stingy, and she won't let me any alcohol. She says I'm 'not old enough', can you believe that load?"
My blonde-haired teammate came to us with her mug in hand. "I am sorry, but the legal drinking age in this county is fourteen, Megumin. I do not wish you to get in any more trouble with the local guards."
Boy, she has such a way with words~
"Aaaayyee – Hic – it's The Cracker Jacker!"
Unlike certain drunkards.
Aqua haphazardly draped herself over my neck, much to my discomfort. Although my libido may say otherwise, my personal bubble was heavily inclined to disagree. She took a big swig out of her mug and belched.
"Leave it to you to get drunk right before lunchtime…"
As the drunken goddess failed to whistle a jaunty tune, Luna gathered everyone's attention by clapping her hands.
"I have an important announcement to make. Due to the events of yesterday, the Axel Town Adventurer's Guild has reserved a special reward for both Satou Kazuma and Jack Spicer's party."
That certainly got my attention! Before I could get the busty receptionist to spill the beans, a vaguely familiar gruff voice spooked the living daylights outta me.
"Who would've thought you lot could take down a leader of the Devil King's army. That's quite the impressive feat."
It was the buzz cut mohawk guy giving us a thumbs up from within a dimly lit corner of the room.
"I believed in the radiance inside of you guys from the very start."
"The radiance inside?"
"Yup. 'A light to shine on the gates of Hell'…At least, that's what the legends used to say."
Before I could ponder what he meant by that, a random adventurer a couple tables away singled me and Satou out.
"He's right! If it weren't for them lads, we'd never would've beaten that Dullahan! Three cheers for Jack and Kazuma's parties!"
That got everybody in the building to go wild real fast. By sheer happenstance, my team and I managed to kill off a high-ranking official in the Devil King's army, and now we were being praised for it. This had me rather conflicted.
On the optimistic side of things, it honestly felt pretty damn amazing to get recognition for my hard work. I still remember how I got sidelined on my arrival in this world. Back then, Aqua was the talk of the town, and I was chopped liver. But now I was finally getting praise from outside sources. These weren't robots or monkeys cheering for me, these were real people appreciating my talents.
But with that said, this was not the kind of admiration I wanted AT ALL! In fact, it was the exact opposite of what I expected to happen! I wanted to be feared as a dangerous rouge hellbent on crippling the Devil King's army for my own nefarious gain, not loved as some lame-ass do-gooder! I'd rather Satou be seen as the hero and me as just some guy who participated. I've got a reputation to keep!
Sadly, my cries of protest couldn't get through to these cheering idiots. So now what, does this mean I'm going to be seen as a small-town hero from here on out? Fuck me, it's always one step forward and two-hundred steps back. This is all your fault, Eris!
Luna blew a sharp whistle with her fingers and immediately got everyone to shut up. She smiled and said, "For the contributions of both parties, we here at the Adventurer's Guild are offering a complimentary reward of 300,000,000 eris each!"
Forget what I said about Eris – she and her money rocks!
"OH, OH! Since it was my magic that killed him, most of the proceeds should go to me!"
"Talk of money sobered you up real quick, didn't it? Also – SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL!"
After Satou and Yunyun were given their reward, Luna came to me to hand over our respective paycheck. It may not be much compared to what I normally get as a monthly allowance, but the equivalent of ¥300,000,000 wasn't too shabby- -
"Uh, Luna? I think there was a mix-up in upper management. You gave me a bill for 305,000,000 eris in damages."
Luna began wringing her hands. Not exactly reassuring body language from what I gathered.
"I'm truly sorry. You see, the flood Aqua summoned did do a substantial amount of property damage…However, defeating a Devil King commander is an incredibly big deal, so I won't ask that you pay back in full. Just a small portion is all."
Oh, just a small portion you say? Alright then, I can part with 10 eris. That is a small portion by definition.
But before I could have a say in the matter, a hearty slap on my left shoulder made me jump. I craned my neck to see Darkness standing behind me. Her face could be best described as disappointed yet hopeful if that makes any sense.
"Well, we do have 5 million eris on top of our 300 million eris reward. I think it's only right if we back the debt in full."
Dark, baby, no. Please don't do this to me.
"O-oh!" squeaked Luna, "How selfless! Thank you so much! You don't know it, but you've just saved me from an ungodly amount of paperwork tonight."
Our 300 mil and my personal 5 mil!? There's no way the others are on board with this- -
"ALAS! Our reward 'twas no meant to be," sighed a melodramatic Aqua before speaking normally. "I suppose it is the right thing to do. But I call dibs on our next quest! I'll make sure it has the highest bounty possible so we can make back our profit!"
"It seems our bloody journey of magic is only getting started!" added Megumin excitedly. "Let's make this next quest an explosive one!"
Crap, three against one. Now we have to file for bankruptcy all because of something that blue bitch did. That's it, I'm done.
"Hmm? Jack, is something wrong?"
I wasn't listening. I stormed outside the guild and plopped myself down on the first step. I had this thing planned out in my head where I was gonna march all the down the stairs and mope on the last step, but there was more shade near the front doors. The sun just can't let me throw my pity party the way I want it, can it?
Speaking of which, someone came out to sit next to me, completely ruining the "being alone" part of the deal.
"Go away Megumin…"
"What's your problem, huh!? You just walked out on us and didn't say a word! No one likes a guy with a stick up his ass, you know."
"Yeah? Well I don't want people to like me, I want people to FEAR me! As a legitimate THREAT! Ever since I came to this world, I have done everything to make it abundantly clear that I am not a good person; that I am an evil teen genius who shouldn't be taken lightly. And then this shit goes and happens! But hey, that's just been the story of my life, so why bother trying to rewrite the manuscript now, eh!?"
I huffed and slouched even further, sticking my chin into my folded arms.
"...Nobody gets me, that's the problem. You say you want to rule the world with a burning passion, and then they laugh at you, because they think you're joking. And that you, yourself, are a joke. If I can't do something as simple as convey that I'm a jerk...well then where's my worth…?"
I felt a small hand tap me on the shoulder. Reluctantly, I looked over at Megumin. Her body was turned toward me, and not since discussing Explosions has she ever looked more serious in her life.
"Don't you dare say that about yourself. You do have worth, and I know you're smart enough to already know that. Who cares what others think of you? Screw them! You know who you are and that's all that matters in the end. Never let the opinions of others bring you down, or you'll never get anywhere in life."
The Crimson Demon's tight-lipped mouth became a cheeky, lopsided smirk. "Plus, if it's any consolation, I think you can be a jerk."
I blinked. Barely able to contain my hopeful excitement, I smirked right back at her. "Is that so?"
"Oooh yeah, you can be a real ass when you want to. Like walking out on your own party for instance."
"Or all those times I called Aqua an idiot."
"Or when you snuck a thumbtack in Kazuma's seat!"
"And let's not forget how I totally stole his thunder yesterday! Did you see me out there? I was all, 'HI-YA!' And he was all, 'I'm out.' I didn't even know I had it in me!"
"Me neither!"
We laughed on the steps of the guild for a good while before eventually keeping it down to only a few chuckles. Our sides were sore, but we had fun doing it.
"Hey, Jack? If you're feeling up for it, you wanna come with me on my next Explosion run? I thought we could blow up the rest of Beldia's castle as a way to stick it to his ghost. Thought that might help you unwind after that big fight."
"…I think I'm down for an Explosion palooza."
"Sweet. Anyway, we should probably head back inside. I kind of already promised Aqua and Darkness I'd bring you back in."
"I'd make a sarcastic remark, but honestly, my butt hurts from sitting on these steps for so long. Let's bail."
Megumin and I sat up and got our aching keisters indoors. And as I tried in vain to soothe my rear end, I thought about all the times I was huge jerk to someone. The kid was right, I really shouldn't be all that concerned about what others think of me (unless they're evil bigwigs of course). I know that I'm a bad person deep down, and that's the end of the discussion. It really goes to show how frighteningly intelligent Megumin can be.
The masses can think I'm a hero all they'd like. I'll prove them wrong sooner or later, oh-ho-ho just you wait…
"Hey, um, guys? Can you wait up for a second?"
It was late into the evening and the sun was about to give welcome to the moon. Jack had already went home a while ago to "fix his babies" as he so strangely put it. I assume he was referring to those metal golems he made. I should ask if I can watch him build some, they're really cool. Not Explosion magic cool, but still.
We were out on the street, reaching the fork in the road that would lead us to our separate routes. Aqua's path would take her to the stables with Jack, Darkness' would direct her to the hotel she was booking at, and mine would take me outside the town walls to my makeshift campsite. It wasn't much, but neither was back home at the village.
However, before we parted for the night, I had something I needed to get off my chest.
Aqua stopped herself from progressing any further and twirled around with her hands behind her back. "What's on your mind, Megumin?"
Darkness halted as well and asked, "Are you still out of it from your daily Explosion? I can carry you back to your tent if you need- -"
"No, no, that's okay. I can walk just fine, thank you. It's just that…well…"
The two party members who I've come to know as my friends waited patiently for me to spit it out. They seemed to be curious in what I had to say.
So I said it: "What if Jack means what he says?"
They now seemed confused instead of curious. I don't necessarily blame them.
All Darkness could say was, "Pardon?"
"What I'm trying to say is, what if Jack is serious about wanting to rule the world? It's stupid, I know, but I can't shake this lingering doubt that there's some truth in what he says. When I went to console him, he vented about how he was frustrated that nobody viewed him as a villain on the rise. And he sounded…so sincere."
It was hard to look them in the eyes when I told them that. I admit that the whole thing sounds absurd, but I can't help but be a little worried about it. Jack may be a douche at times, but he's shown that he has a soft side. The dude doesn't realize that he wears his heart on his sleeve like I do. He's very much capable of being an honest-to-god good person.
And to hear him be so willing and eager to throw all that potential away is…well, kind of scary. What if our leader really is deadest on conquering our world?
Aqua spoke, "Oh relax, girl! It's just Jack being Jack! Remember when I gave you that crash course on the art of chuunibyou? Well, that's exactly what he is: a shut-in chuuni. Your entire culture is built upon that lifestyle, so you of all people should be able to recognize it even if you can't explain it."
I mean…Yeah, she does make a strong point there. I almost mistook him as a long lost member of the clan when we first met.
Darkness added to Aqua's rebuttal by saying, "Right, and correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you admit that you also wanted to usurp the Devil King as well?"
"Well, yeah, but I was eight years old and didn't know better."
"True. However, it's quite possible that Jack simply hasn't grown out of that particular phase yet. He is still a teenager after all, he's at the age of self-discovery. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he one day he dropped his ambition of wanting to become a heartless dictator without mercy…although a little part of me would die inside…"
"So you see? There was nothing to worry about," said Aqua confidently. "All the big baby needs is more sleep and he'll be fine. Come to think of it, you should probably get some rest too if that's what you were fretting over."
My friends are right, I was worrying over nothing. Maybe not getting the chance to unleash a glorious Explosion on a general of the Devil King's Army affected me; made me doubt myself a little. Oh well, there are still seven generals left out there somewhere, I'll collect my due eventually.
"Yeah, you're right, sleep is probably just the thing we all need right now. Goodnight Aqua, goodnight Darkness. I'll see all in the morning."
We bid each other goodnight and traveled down our respective paths. And as I gazed upwards into the first star of the night, I reflected on my previous doubts regarding our eccentric leader, now giggling at my bold stretch of a claim.
"Heh. Jack: evil. How ridiculous."
The first story arc is now complete! This actually a huge milestone for me since this fic is by far the longest anything I've ever written, and it's only going to get longer with time.
Now, let me address something here: I know what I said last chapter about not taking a month to upload new content. Let's just say personal stuff happened and it kind of put a damper on my motivation to write. No sense in making an intricate fanfiction when you're bummed out and overloaded with work. But it's okay, my family and I are taking steps in addressing these issues. And I'm doing my part in keeping a daily planner to micromanage all the things I have to do, including dedicating a set amount of time to writing! When I did that, I was able to finish the rest of this chapter before I knew it!
So even though I don't have an upload schedule, you can all rest easy knowing that I'm reserving some time to perfect my craft.
Also, I would like to give a special thank you to BLINIX for suggesting I do more scenes of the girls discussing Jack's "eccentricities". I thought that'd be an interesting avenue to explore hence the POV shift at the end. Tell me what you think of it in the reviews. Stay tuned for the next installment; I have something new I want to try out by then.