Disclaimer, in case it wasn't obvious. I don't own Inuyasha, or really any other property. Thank you.

Being Alive

Chapter XVIII: Seeing Without Being Seen

Naraku:

For perhaps an hour, it appeared as though Kagura had died. A fascinating outcome, all things considered. He'd not believed the ogre Urasue was so powerful that she could have defeated one of his detachments. It'd been equally unfortunate for him to realize that a key piece of his plans was dead. Admittedly, he would simply need to be more creative in his next puppet. Perhaps the disloyal wind sorceress was always going to die by the hands of his enemies, in fact that was rational to believe even, so now he had lost two of the elements he'd bonded his first creations to.

I will need to find a way to create new incarnations that are even more powerful, but that may mean giving up some of the control I lord over them. That is not something I wish to do… yet.

This complicated things as well. The Kiln of Souls was no easy thing to construct. Though his incarnations of earth and fire had done their part, and Kanna, the void, was doing hers, he now lacked both Kagura and Urasue. Admittedly, the death of Yudarin was also not helpful, the force of water that would have been used to cool the Kiln meant its use would be very limited. He would need to find the Ogress, perhaps be himself and-

Kagura's heart was beating again? Looking towards it with an inquisitive eye, Naraku held the essence of the heart in his hand, looking into it as he felt the puppet reattach to its connection. He had not reached out to her, meaning that this connection was only made to take place due to another. Whoever this other had been, it seemed impossible to be Kagura. She didn't have the power to do that. So, had Urasue begun to work her powers of necromancy on Kagura as some kind of experiment?

Something powerful pulsed through the beats of the heart however, something that felt foreign to the nature of what Urasue had been. The still beating heart pulsed in his hands before finally calming. He could sense something had changed on the other side. Already he was commanding his eyes and ears to the distance winds, his insects going to find Kagura. If she had accomplished her mission, then all the better.

"Kagura killed Urasue," Kanna's almost distant voice whispered as she entered his space within the castle.

Annoyed eyes traced to the girl as she held up her mirror, inside of it, the face of the twisted agony the demon had been in before her soul was stripped from her decaying flesh, before it was torn apart in the wind, played for him.

Kagura was not designed to make an attack such as that.

It wasn't alarming, he didn't get alarmed over such developments. It was however, an interesting development. Where had that come from? Especially as he knew she had killed Urasue now, would she try to lie to him? Her usefulness was not yet at an end, but killing the necromancer which he had wanted in order to stabilize his designs was infuriating. Urasue had a means of controlling her victims in a way Naraku had yet to achieve. The longer the crisis with Sesshoumaru hunting after his every move went on however, the more likely it was that he would be discovered.

Even now, I have lost multiple locations which I had hoped to escape to. I still may, but my arrival there would be obvious. He need only get lucky once, and strike me with his Bakusaiga, and my body would be destroyed, unable to heal.

There were still other contingencies. Even though working with the other Sesshoumaru seemed out of the question, he could still help his ambitions. Even now he had amassed more demonic components, devouring more and more lesser demons which he could forge into new bodies, new incarnations. He still sat at the heart of his web, pulling strings as needed. The Kiln of Souls itself was yet another project which he had worked on, but it was one he felt he could have the most success with.

But with every setback, he lost its effectiveness. Urasue had been his means of control… though there was perhaps a work around, after its first use. But he needed more minions to obscure his actions. Perhaps the Kiln could be used. The creation of this design was nothing new, it'd been forged in the minds of other necromancers and demons for a thousand years. So long as the souls were there, he could achieve what he wished… by and large.

Without Urasue, some would lay outside of his grasp, but he knew most certainly not all.

Kagura's misstep has hindered most of the options I had most wanted.

The Kiln would have allowed him to resurrect any soul he'd wanted into a new body of flesh and blood, with the help of the demon Urasue, he could have ensured their loyalty to him without any other stipulation or control. He'd even imagined finding the soul of the father of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, and bringing the great Dog Lord back as his slave to destroy his own offspring. There were many others as well, demons of ancient power that could have been made to follow his every command.

Now, however… now he had to try and find lesser options, that were more easily controlled. Had half the kiln not been finished, he might have abandoned the project all together. Though it did still give him an opportunity that his cursed human heart yearned for.

Kikyo.

It was a disgusting thought, but it was still there. There was nothing he seemed to ever be able to quell it. That foolish woman who hadn't used the power of the jewel to save herself. She had proved herself too virtuous for Onigumo's desires. It was almost more than fitting.

"When Kagura returns, bring her to me," Naraku ordered. "I will have her answer for this failure, before we bring the fires of the kiln to life."

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Sesshoumaru the Younger:

This cat certainly changed some of the metrics. The only thing was, he wasn't fully sure of its capabilities, though it seemed that his human companion believed it was an invaluable asset. He didn't trust things from the outside all the same. This creature was loyal, seemingly, to Kohaku. What did that mean for himself? It was one thing to have it around, it was quite another to take it into account as a reliable asset. Though he was relatively sure it would be more of an asset, than a hindrance.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, are you sure that this beast is able to be trusted?" Jaken asked.

"It trusts Kohaku," Sesshoumaru remarked, looking at the spirit-cat briefly before looking ahead. "Unless given a reason to think otherwise, it's not necessary to remove it."

For him, it was the end of the discussion. Loyalty seemed built into the human's character, and he suspected the spirit's loyalty to the boy went beyond a passing fancy. Loyalty perhaps was something he didn't fully understand himself in some respects. He'd been loyal to his own father, and had seen how it was rewarded. Perhaps it was human loyalty that inevitably drew his father astray? To think on it too much seemed pointless.

"Lord Sesshoumaru," Kohaku said, his voice rising with concern. "The village we passed through, the corroded remains, it might have been too fresh, we might be too close to the group you wanted to keep our relative distance from."

The scents in the air and demonic energies told him enough, they were perhaps slightly too close, but with Naraku's scent also in the air-

Something odd passed by him for a brief second, like he was listening to a beating heart. It passed almost as soon as he felt it, and it didn't make much sense. There was a demonic aura to it as it passed through the air. It felt important for some reason, and he was unsure as to why. Familiar, would be the best way to put it. The aura sensed like Naraku. Strangely, the Tenseiga seemed to respond, pulsing to it once.

Odd.

More sorcery, in other words.

"They've slowed down their own movements," he confirmed with the boy as his eyes remained locked ahead, sensing everything he could in this world, as well as he felt something changing with the flow of auras around them. His own scent came back to him in the distance, and he knew exactly what that meant.

They're doubling back on us. No, the others have remained ahead. He's doubling back on us.

There was a chance to gamble for his reward. It would require that he trust others, however. Looking towards the boy, Jaken, and the cat, he eyed them seriously before looking ahead.

"The other dog-demon has turned towards us. He will arrive soon. Kohaku, Jaken, there is a half-demon, Inuyasha, ahead. It is within his eye that what I seek lay. There is a black pearl inside of his eye. I will remain here to deal with the other, but you will go forward and acquire this for me."

The boy immediately nodded his head, drawing his weapon as he did. The cat, Kirara, suddenly was wreathed in flame before its full size was revealed. Jaken hopped back in fright at the response, though Sesshoumaru gave no visible response. This creature would be useful, most certainly. It was odd to trust the two of them to stop Inuyasha, and the other traveller he smelled, but placing this trust in the others seemed warranted. The Tenseiga had guided him to it. The boy had understood the riddle as well. It was the sword's means of taking him to the Fang of Destruction to unite two of the three swords of fate.

The boy hopped on top of the cat before turning to Jaken, reaching out.

"We will return, my lord," Jaken said, struggling to reach up to the cat before a figure emerged in front of them, seemingly at a slow pace, but Sesshoumaru knew the other had come here at high speed.

Kohaku stared at the newcomer in shock, and the newcomer, his other self, looked on to the boy in surprise. Something was playing out for his counterpart before the cat launched itself to the side and into the air. Standing opposite one another, he felt himself placing his hand on Tenseiga's hilt. Even if it couldn't harm him, it could provide enough protection to prevent the blade which the other possessed from immediately overwhelming him.

"The boy," the opposite said, looking after him as he left. "How did he arrive here?"

He knew him? That was the implication by the way he spoke, his attention being turned.

"That is none of your concern," he responded reflexively.

There was a half-amused, half-irritated huff in response before his elder turned towards him. It'd been almost three months since their last meeting. Even since then he could tell things had been set in motion around them. Naraku's scent was what his counterpart had been following, and he had been followed him in turn. Destroyed forts, dead demons, and damaged villages lay in the wake of this other self. It was so odd to know he was traveling with their pathetic half-brother. Was his older self so desperate for allies? That was something he would never find himself falling into. He did not find others to align himself with them.

The wind briefly picked up around them as his hand remained firmly on his sword's hilt.

"Why are you tracking us?" he asked bluntly.

"I know what lay within Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru responded.

"That fang was never meant for you," his other said. "It will not obey your command."

It will not obey its rightful master?

This was a ploy, to try and dissuade him from his path in order to prevent his own destruction. It was painfully obvious.

"Pathetic," he responded. "Did you believe I would be so easily misguided by you? You fear my strength should I possess the Fang of Destruction."

"Was I ever really this shallow?" he heard in response, a bitter lip curling up on his counterpart's face. "So selfish and self-absorbed that I could not see? Why would have father hidden the blade, if it was meant for you? If he wished for us to have it, he would have given it to us the last time we met."

Anger tipped on the edge of his mind as he felt himself almost sneer at his other self. It was like speaking with his father, almost. Was that what he'd become destined to warp into? It was awful to even think.

"Father wished to spend a lifetime with a woman and disgraced our mother," he reminded his other self. "His desires were suspect for years, prior to his madness."

That was enough to keep his other self quiet, who now also placed his hand upon the hilt of his blade. The promise that their next confrontation would be his death still played heavily in his mind.

"You can acquire your own sword," his mirror said. "It is not without a chance. It is within you to unlock it. Understand Tenseiga's lessons, and one day it can come to the fore. It is the more difficult road to walk. It is one born of pain, loss, and hardship. But that is where true strength is born."

Briefly, he considered letting his fingers off Tenseiga, if only because his other self seemed willing to divulge a secret to him. Perhaps it seemed like a chance to speak with his father again. But it was not Toga who was across from him, it was himself. He knew his own nature too well, and he could see that more than anything. This creature, like himself, was seeking nothing but a worthy battle.

Did he still desire the Tessaiga for himself?

"What lesson would that be?" he asked, his tone dismissive.

"You know what it is," his other self responded coolly. "You simply choose to ignore it."

"I, Sesshoumaru, listen to power, and the means to acquire it, in order to achieve the goal of conquest, of both the spirit, and my foes," he responded bluntly. "The same as you. If you and I are in fact the same, as you claim."

It was when his counterpart's hand left the Bakusaiga that Sesshoumaru saw something in the reflection that he'd not imagined. Even with their previous encounter, he could see so much more of himself. He could still see it, but it was being lost to something else, and it was disgusting to see. The revulsion he felt was only intensified with the fact he was staying his sword now.

"Conquest?" he heard in response. "An empty concept. What will be left if you are the last one standing? The ultimate conqueror? What will there be left?"

Drawing his own blade in response, he stood tall, in defiance of the words of the elder.

"I will be the last one standing. The final authority."

"You will be alone," was all he heard in response.

"I can live with that."

They'd not come to blows yet, it seemed as though they wouldn't, which was alien to him. The other seemed to turn, as if he was preparing to leave. He came here just as a warning? That was it? There was no confrontation?

An angry sensation ran through his chest into his neck, and then to his head. He was almost disoriented he was so furious. He was being ignored?

As soon as he cracked his knuckles with his free hand, the other figure stopped his turn, looking back towards him.

"Is your pride worth your life, Sesshoumaru?" he heard himself ask.

"Is your arrogance worth yours?" he fired back. "Choosing to ignore me?"

"I have decided to stop ignoring you," the elder pointed out. "I came here to see if you'd actually listen to what you have known is the truth. Respect our father's wishes."

Their father. The one who had done so much to dishonour them? The one who had denied him the Tessaiga, and the Sounga? The one who had threatened his very life, for having tried to pull him back to sanity. The one who had abandoned all moral reasoning, for the sake of love with some human? The one who had denied him the chance to prove himself against him. He had left everything behind for his own selfish desires and deviancy, and he was supposed to respect his wishes?

He would have normally feigned a lack of care, but for himself, why would he even try to deflect? It only took one word to say what he thought of his father's wishes.

"No."

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Sesshoumaru: 150 Years prior to Kikyo's Death

So, the clash of the greatest powers had begun. Though no battle was met yet, all demons could sense the brief scuffle between his father and the demon, Ryukotsusei. It had been a confrontation that was building for some time. The dragon had been rampaging through the islands for some time, destroying as it went. It destroyed humans, demons, and the lands themselves as it pleased. It was a worthy foe for anyone, but he knew his father had wanted to quell the demon for some time, in order to help these humans.

It was not the concern of Sesshoumaru himself. He had little interest in confronting the Dragon at this time. The monster was too far ahead in power even for he to confront. He sought to expand his power. Perhaps with the power of the Tessaiga, or the Sounga, he could have fought the beast, but as he was? He knew his limits, even if it was difficult to admit.

Where he stood now though, was on the edge of a peak, overlooking the ruins of his father's current home. The residence where the woman had been kept, along with his father. The destruction was nearly complete. Every building was shattered, and the walls had been blown to pieces. The mountains around this place were equally scarred. The first battle had taken place here.

Both demonic auras were still alive, their scents on the wind, there would be another confrontation, soon.

Walking along the stone pathway towards the now ruined garden, Sesshoumaru looked about, taking in the destruction. He was not displeased that this was the fate of his father's hubris. This place had fallen faster than he imagined, but it was still the fate he'd always foreseen for his father's illicit dreams.

"Sesshoumaru," the familiar voice of his father appeared.

"Father," he responded, offering the 'respect' he was due.

"Why have you come here, Sesshoumaru?"

"I came to see the battle, though it appears as though I am late, and it seems as though no victor was declared."

When he looked over the ruins, he couldn't see any sign of the human. Her smell was still faintly in the air, but it wasn't burned. It was unlikely that she died in this attack, but he could have hoped.

"You came to claim the swords from my corpse?" his father asked, serious in his tone.

"No," Sesshoumaru answered bluntly. "Your pet has taken flight, it would seem."

"I have left Izayoi with her people until I can kill that monster. I will slay him before anyone else is harmed."

"Do you really believe the humans will protect their own, when they discover her child is an abomination?"

There was a tensing in the air as Sesshoumaru saw the anger edge on his father's face. The only pause came when he realized there was a struggle beyond that.

"I am aware of the danger," he said stiffly. "If I asked you to protect your blood from harm, would you answer my call?"

The implication was enough. He was going to ask him to protect his concubine, and her disgusting child. There was tension now rising from his own side, he openly showed the disdain he felt as he stared back at his father. To ask him that first was the final disgrace. Had his father asked him to go to the battle with him, he would have answered the call. Instead, the fool asked him to protect someone, and someone who had only brought their entire family dishonour.

How could he? How selfish had he become?

"I will not answer a call to protect a human," Sesshoumaru responded coldly. "Or a half-demon."

When Toga heard the words, his own eyes hardened, as if he was thinking of something else.

"They are mine to protect, Sesshoumaru," he responded. "I only asked to fulfill my duties to her… and your soon to be born brother."

The disgust only intensified as his father tried to offer an explanation for such an offensive request.

"Then you should defeat the demon, Ryukotsusei with the greatest haste," Sesshoumaru said, offering his own 'advice' in the form of the obvious, intentionally.

"Would you help your father in battle against such a monster?"

The question came, and it was not expected. Even if he'd have answered the call before, he had never expected to hear his father ask him for such aid. Now that he had however, the taste had been soured so much that Sesshoumaru felt nothing. His heart had no sympathy for it. The demon had struck his father's home. It had destroyed this castle and left the woman and her child to their fates.

He had no quarrel with this demon, as his father did. Certainly not now.

"I would not answer such a call," he responded. "A call to arms, even amongst blood, requires loyalty to that blood."

The bond was broken.

When he said it, the bond of family had broken in that moment. A look of disappointment, and perhaps even a hint of despair crossed his father's features. Sesshoumaru had chosen honour, over the needs of his father. Even if the dragon was defeated, his father had left his lover in the care of wolves, and they both knew it. His prior curse upon him, had been a knowing one.

"You have the look of your mother about you, Sesshoumaru," Toga responded, his tone edging on the coldness that he and his remaining parent, had been renown for.

It was no insult, though clearly to Toga, it was more of a warning.

"I offer you the best, in the battle that is to come, father," Sesshoumaru said, bowing his head formally. "I hope victory is as swift for you, as you need it to be."

The problems of his father, were his father's problems. He would either overcome them and live, and prove Sesshoumaru and all others wrong, or he would fail, and either die in battle against the great dragon, or return to the den of humans he'd left his degenerate lover to.

Turning his back on him, Sesshoumaru began to walk away.

He had not suspected that he would see his father only once more in his entire life. In truth, he hoped his father survived, to return to the corpses of his sin, learning of his folly through the disgraceful end of the whole affair.

Only in his worst nightmares, could he have imagined his father dying, and dying embracing the delusions he'd succumbed to, while the products of his mania would live.

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Sesshoumaru the Elder:

Ironic, wasn't it? They had both turned their backs on their father, yet he invoked his name in hopes of stirring a rational response, and his counterpart rejected it. It was familiar, just as when he rejected the idea that the Tessaiga was not meant for him. It was the same as now, wasn't it? His control over the situation had always been void.

What he had not expected to see, was the boy Kohaku. How exactly did the boy come to be here? If the cat, Kirara, was with him, it was even more suspicious. Events had changed dramatically to have allowed that. What was odd was the fact that it would be Kohaku journeying alongside him. It was almost as if the players places had all been changed, but the pieces were all still on the same board. If that were the case, did that mean their fates were all tied? He would need to see.

But his other self's ambition for their father's fang, almost made him believe even more that the Jewel perhaps had a hand in the wheel of fate.

In which case, his efforts to kill Naraku would not bear fruit. It also further made sense that Kagura's death arrived, regardless of his sparing her. It would also mean that his other self perhaps would find a way to not get himself killed by him so swiftly.

"You sent the boy and Jaken ahead, do you really believe they are going to steal the black pearl from Inuyasha?" he asked.

The younger self gave at first a marginally surprised shift in his eyebrows, before he reasserted his normal look, staring back at him with feigned indifference. He sensed Inuyasha and Jaken, already noting the fight having broken out. Inuyasha was a powerful fighter, even with only half blood. The odds of a young Kohaku, and Jaken, overwhelming him, even without Tessaiga, seemed extremely unlikely. His real concern was for the demon and boy put in danger. Jaken's death at the hands of Miroku's wind tunnel would not be able to be reversed.

"I have enough confidence that they will return, they are very dedicated to achieving their goals," he heard back. "As I am. Once the Tessaiga is in my hands, we will do battle once more. This time, it will be I, Sesshoumaru, who stands atop the peak of victory."

How insufferable.

"In its current state, the Tessaiga is weaker than Bakusaiga," Sesshoumaru warned, finally beginning to reveal why this was a fruitless effort. "It would not be a battle you would win, even if you could possess it. Which you cannot. Father-"

"Listen to you. Father? Are you so quick to invoke his name, to me no less?"

"I am not so quick to throw away his wisdom, not anymore," he responded back quickly. "Though I am not going to defend his actions, there is more truth in what he spoke of than you know now."

Starting with a noise of disapproval, his other self prepared his response. It was remarkable to be faced with who you were. All of the mistakes were laid bare without them even being discussed. How strange to even think that his father had imparted on him the right wisdom.

"To think I became someone as weak as you," Sesshoumaru responded, his eyes narrowing. "How pathetic."

"And yet, still strong enough to stop you."

His counterpart stiffened at the remark, the other Sesshoumaru dangerously leering at him now as he finally broken from his standing stance, beginning to walk towards him on an angle, trying to keep his options open for a means of attack. Even with Bakusaiga, and more experience, he knew not to sleep on his younger counterpart. The truth was however, if they fought once more, he would need to kill him. Tenseiga couldn't resurrect him a second time…

Is that my fate? To kill my younger self and replace him? Will I be the only Sesshoumaru?

It didn't seem like a positive fate at all. It was in truth, the worst outcome he could imagine. To walk the path he already had, in the guise of himself? That was to be a spectre to your own life. Even as reluctant as he was to be involved in the fate of Inuyasha and the others, he was yet more reluctant to get involved with his other self's fate. If only because this encounter alone was proving it.

He could not be told or bargained with, away from his desired goals.

The other demon then seemed amused. A small smile appeared across his face as Sesshoumaru's head turned slightly, his senses picking up the barest hints of what he expected happened. Kohaku and Jaken had managed to acquire the Black Pearl. He could sense the demonic energies surrounding it. Kirara must have played a role beyond what he expected, and without the Tessaiga, Inuyasha must have been overwhelmed, even with the monk present.

"You underestimated them," his younger self commented. "The same as you underestimate me, because you are have become our father. For all your strength, you cannot wield it, your heart holds you back."

Drawing his blade, he gave a cold, openly angry look at his counterpart. Fate had chosen this option, it would seem. Inuyasha needed the Tessaiga, and he could not let it fall into the hands of someone who could not wield it, and would never stop trying to until he could grow enough. He would not meet Rin, in this world, that much he could confirm.

Unless… is Rin a piece on the board of this fate?

The realization was enough, and he must have appeared distracted, as his younger incarnation had already closed the gap between them, raking his claws up at him, coming inside the range of his sword's most effective striking distance. His arm was cut, though he was immune the poison itself, before he staggered back, feeling the impact of the claws on his body before he felt a hard-left punch connect with his jaw, sending him further, his back slamming into a nearby tree as Kirara raced past him.

The smart move would be to strike now, to cut Bakusaiga at the cat, the boy, and Jaken, and annihilate them, before retrieving the Black Pearl.

Jaken, his most loyal companion.

Hesitation arrived again as he felt himself choke up, before noting his counterpart racing back.

Rushing down the pathway, the monk and Inuyasha came rushing in from behind.

"How did you lose to a child?" Sesshoumaru snapped.

"You mean the giant monster-cat?!" Inuyasha spat back. "And it's Miroku's fault!"

"He had a blade to my throat," Miroku repeated, clearly, again.

Damn it.

Launching himself after the others, he felt himself racing against time. This couldn't be allowed to change this dramatically. With the human boy with them, his counterpart might even be smart enough to realize when he and Jaken couldn't breach the barrier, Kohaku could. He doubted that would be their first thought, but it would come eventually. Inuyasha's form raced up beside him, the monk now on his back.

"Don't get used to this," he warned.

"I assure you, this is as enjoyable for me, as it is for you, Inuyasha," Miroku sighed.

"Quiet, both of you," Sesshoumaru demanded. "If they take the Tessaiga, and it cannot be retrieved, Inuyasha will not survive long."

A surprised look crossed his sibling's features as he sensed the pearl being opened by the staff ahead.

Damn him.

Unfortunately, he might have had an understanding of what his father felt when he didn't listen to him at all. That was something he most definitely was not going to admit aloud.

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Author's Notes:

I was going to do an in-depth play by play of Kohaku and Jaken stealing the pearl, but I'm just not sure it fit in the chapter itself, which really was about Sesshoumaru(s). Even Naraku's role at the very start is a bit out of place, but I felt I kinda needed to have that exposition to give a follow-up from the previous chapter.

This chapter was narrowed and focused, namely because I wanted to set things up for Chapter 19. Though I am tempted to start it off with the pieces of this chapter that were left on the cutting room floor.

So, coming up, we'll have:

Chapter XIX: Tessaiga

Also, we're going to finally introduce a character I've wanted an excuse to bring in after that, with…

Chapter XX: Lost in Time.

Thank you to everyone who reviews the story, I genuinely appreciate it. I was going to put this out sooner, but there were issues with FF, and I wanted to make sure they were solved first.

The story is also slowly going to be put on Ao3, but only a chapter at a time, weekly. The first chapter has been posted.

I've answered all accounts by PM. As for the sole Guest Reviewer, yup, you're on the nose. The people who were complete assholes pre-Kagome arriving, are still complete assholes, lol.