*I have changed the way the Admirals are addressed. From now on, they will be referred to as 'Commander' both in speech and Title. (Ex: Commander Nimitz)
Rule 7: HMS Belfast's 'torpedo bulges' have now been declared a lethal weapon.
It was a peaceful day at the Azur Lane if you ignored that explosion that just occurred near the cafeteria a while ago. Kansen happily strolled through the base, sitting down to dine at cafes and talk, browsing stores and playing in the parks and beaches, or dodging the desk currently rocketing down the main street from the Admiralty Building at a speed that put shells to shame…
Wait... what?
Kansen frantically dived out of the way as a mahogany wood desk and the Eagle Union Commander came flying down the street, smashing into a small food stall (much to Ning Hai and Ping Hai's dismay) before tumbling off the edge of the sea wall and finally coming to rest in the harbor waters below. A startled scream quickly followed as several quick-thinkers dove into the water to rescue their Commander.
"I'M SORRY!"
[The Admiralty Building; Several minutes earlier]
Commander Lillian Nimitz was enjoying the day. There was little paperwork, the weather was beautiful, the Sirens had been quiet and she had gotten a shipment of her favorite coffee with the latest convoy.
It was safe to say that Nimitz was in a very good mood…
Until she read the paperwork in front of her.
"The Royal Navy girls are requesting more tea leaves and baking goods… Typical of them.
The Iron Bloods have begun spending more on alcohol and a surprisingly large amount on anime merchandise? I may want to talk to Bismarck about that later…
The Eagle Union is urgently requesting that HMS Belfast's breasts be labeled as weapons…
The Sakura Empire is... wait a minute…"
And just like that, Commander Lillian had stopped working.
After several moments of staring into space (rebooting), Lillian's mental faculties returned to her and she quickly re-read the requests that Enterprise had given her earlier that day. Checking to make sure that it was coffee she was drinking and not Absinthe, she re-read the requests again before finally reaching for the intercom on her desk.
"Secretary USS Enterprise and HMS Belfast. Please report to the Commander's office immediately… and Enterprise, please bring some aspirin. Thank you."
With that said and done Commander Nimitz wordlessly let her head drop onto her desk with a loud 'thud' as she began to wait for whatever fresh hell she was going to address.
"And it was such a nice day too!" She mentally wailed as she fought the urge to hit the liquor cabinet.
"Oh, what the hell!" Commander Nimitz thought as she took in the scene of a sheepish Enterprise and a blushing and nervous Belfast accompanied by… USS Cleveland wrapped from head to toe in bandages with her sisters USS Montpelier and Columbia gently carrying her on a stretcher. USS Denver trailed behind them, shuffling into the room while clutching her phone to her chest with a somewhat disturbed look on her face. Commander Nimitz noted that she seemed to be carefully keeping her distance from Belfast. With her brain already spinning from the absurd scene before her AND Belfast's unexpected charisma break, Commander Nimitz simply slammed her head into the desk once again.
"I-" Nimitz cut Enterprise off with a raise of her hand before she could even speak.
A moment of awkward silence passed with only the sound of Cleveland's muffled breathing drifting through the room.
"Enterprise. Aspirin."
The small white bottle flew through the air before it was snatched up by Commander Nimitz, who quickly downed two pills before slamming her face back into the desk.
More silence ensued.
Several minutes later, Commander Nimitz finally gathered her thoughts. Vacation hours to be requested had been tallied up, alcohol required for the situation had been calculated, and new rule ideas had been mentally drafted.
Slowly lifting her head, Commander Nimitz leveled a deadpan stare at those before her.
"I have two questions," She began.
"First, why is Cleveland doing an impersonation of a mummy? And secondly, what is this request on my desk about declaring Belfast's… b-breasts as a weapon?" Commander Nimitz was already dreading the potential answers.
Enterprise and Belfast both lit up bright red, the two immediately looking like they would rather be fighting a Siren Warlord without their rigging rather than explain what had transpired. Luckily for them, Cleveland, sensing her friend's distress, stepped in. (Well… figuratively, not literally… considering she was on a stretcher.)
With a stiff gesture and muffled words, the eldest sister called Denver forth. The younger sister in turn hesitantly handed her Commander the phone in her hand, tapping on the video she had paused on the screen.
At first Commander Nimitz saw nothing out of the ordinary in the video. On the screen was a landscape view of the Eagle Union Dormitory Cafeteria. The room was mostly occupied with the faction members enjoying their breakfast, happily chatting amongst themselves. Denver's reason for filming quickly became apparent as the camera panned across the room to focus in on USS Seattle, who was gliding around the room on her roller skates, trays of food in hand for the returning Commission girls. The cruiser masterfully served her trays of food in a series of fluid motions before tucking the now empty serving trays underneath her arm. With a smile she skated away, performing a few tricks here and there to entertain onlookers as she grabbed a few extra orders on her way back to the kitchen. The performance was impressive, but everything still looked normal… that is, until-
Something seemed to catch Denver's attention as the camera quickly panned in the opposite direction. The camera's focus quickly adjusted to reveal the rather unusual sight of Belfast and Enterprise sitting at a table with the Yorktown and Essex-Class carriers. W - with Belfast seated on top of Enterprise's lap. Enterprise's bright red blush screamed both confusion and arousal as the Head Maid casually (and elegantly) ate small pieces of food from their apparently shared plate.
The death glares that Belfast and USS Essex occasionally leveled at each other did not evade Commander Nimitz's eyes. Suddenly, Belfast leaned forward slightly as she reached across the table to grab what appeared to be a small napkin. Presumably for Enterprise, who had not noticed a piece of food stuck to the side of her lip. The movement, however, gave a rather generous view of her amazi-
Commander Nimitz mentally slapped herself as she averted her eyes from the particular scene. She would rather not deal with an angry Grey Ghost today. However, she still sent a mental prayer of thanks to whoever was running the universe.
Having retrieved the desired object., Belfast leaned back up and proceeded to clean up her partner's face. Meanwhile, USS Vestal, who had the treat of sitting directly across from the couple, was now burning bright red. Commander Nimitz swore she could see a bit of steam leaving the repair ship's ears and wondered how her head hadn't just exploded yet.
There were a few moments of silence, before another individual sitting with them, USS Hornet, spoke the words that were a herald of what was to come.
"You know, I think you could bounce a quarter off those torpedo bulges."
The comment earned a light blush and smile from Belfast and a rather venomous glare from Enterprise, who suddenly wrapped an arm around Belfast's waist as she began to reach for a piece of silverware to fling at Hornet. Before she could, however, the woman who had earned the nickname 'Horny Maru' attempted a demonstration.
"See what I mea-?"
A sound reminiscent of a gunshot suddenly split the air as the quarter, which had just touched Belfast's chest, was launched at an immense velocity. The now potentially lethal projectile shot across the room in a blur, taking the unfortunate, half-asleep Cleveland, who had just opened the cafeteria doors, square in the chest. The poor cruiser was instantly sent back out the doorway like a missile leaving the Northern Parliament silos. The distant sounds of screaming could be heard through the surprisingly crisp audio of Denver's phone, which was quickly followed by the sound of a magnificent explosion and crumbling bricks and mortar. Pained groaning wafted through the phone's speakers soon after.
The video began to shake immediately afterward as Denver, Montpelier, and Columbia leaped to their feet and raced out the door. The last thing Commander Nimitz could actually see was a brief frame of Enterprise and Belfast trying to get up simultaneously, only for Belfast to stumble and make contact with the cafeteria table chest-first. The table promptly snapped in half seconds before the video came to end.
Gently setting the phone down, Commander Nimitz simply stared into open-air blankly. She opened her mouth to speak, only to close it again. This repeated several times before she simply stood up, walked over to her liquor cabinet, snatched a bottle of Whiskey from the first shelf, and promptly kicked it back right there and then. Silence filled the room, except for the steady gulps from the Eagle Union Commander's throat.
Holding up a hand to forestall any attempts at talking, she suddenly popped open another bottle and repeated the process once again. This would happen three more times.
As her subordinates stood there nervously shuffling around Commander Nimitz wondered just how much whiskey it would take for the world to start making sense again. Of all the physics classes she had taken, of all the ballistics she had learned, she still could not comprehend how one's BREASTS could send a quarter flying faster than any Kansen's ballistics computer could viably track.
It was at this moment that Belfast's guilt finally welled up to the point that she experienced an absolutely astounding break of character.
Throwing herself into a deep bow at the waist, she began spewing an incoherent string of apologies to the shock of everyone in the room. Hell, she seemed on the verge of tears. Something absolutely unheard of. Suddenly, she seemed to reign in her emotions and shot back up. Unfortunately, her rather large bust swung up, and in such close proximity, they impacted the desk.
"OH SHI-!"
Raw instinct saved Commander Nimitz as she activated her nanomachines. Just as the expensive, and heavy mahogany desk slammed into her.
The initial G-force was immense. Commander Nimitz could only hope her nanomachines would prevent her internal organs from being rearranged as she shot out of the Admiralty Building's second-story window. It did not escape her mind that the massive desk was still bearing down on her.
Her artificial neural systems rapidly began running immense calculations as she flew through the air in tandem with the desk. Yet to her horror, they couldn't even seem to get a solid grasp on their velocity. Worse, the numbers seemed to be climbing. At an alarming rate. Thus, the Eagle Union Commander did the only thing she could do in such a situation.
She screamed.
[Present Time, in the harbor]
Commander Nimitz groaned as she was dragged onto the nearby beach. Slowly, she opened her eyes and instantly regretted it. The world around her spun, it was bright and rather disorienting, even for her modified sensory functions. To top it off, her ears rang endlessly, muffled and distant-sounding voices were the only thing she could make out as she laid there on the warm sand, surrounded by concerned Kansen.
"Ah shit. Am I gonna die…?"
The Eagle Union Commander simply lolled her head as she tried to get a solid visual. The bright lights still pierced her eyes, blinding her. Suddenly, a dark shadow casted itself over her head, blotting out the light.
"Hey, you're awake!"
Commander Nimitz blinked. Then she blinked again. Turning her head slowly, she began to make out the shapes of several Kansen surrounding her.
And almost all of them were in swimsuits.
"Well shit, I think I'm in heaven." The Commander giggled as she treated herself to some eye candy. She thought she deserved it, at least a bit.
"Oh great, she's alive." A voice deadpanned from the crowd.
And so, after making her way back into her office (well, the remains of it), Commander Nimitz simply surveyed the still-present group which contained a now thoroughly distraught Belfast, who was being held by Enterprise, and the dumbfounded Cleveland sisters.
"Answer me this, Enterprise.," The Eagle Union Commander said.
"Has that ever happened to you before? And before you try to say something, I know damn well you've touched them more than once."
The carrier simply shook her head, the initial protests having died in her mouth.
"Alrighty then. Eagle Union request is approved… right after I get my desk back."
True to her word, the classification was made and a new rule was posted. However, more conflict would spark as political powers began to debate the ownership of such immense power. In the end, it was decided that USS Enterprise of the Eagle Union would be put in charge of this dangerous weapon as an independent party. And the world's governments could only pray that she would use the newfound power wisely. For the sake of the world.
[Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, a few days later.]
The Siren attack was immense. Almost all of Azur Lane's forces had been roped into countering this attack, but even then, things were looking grim.
"HORNET HAS BEEN HIT! HEAVY DAMAGE! I REPEAT! HORNET HAS BEEN HIT!"
The radio burst to life as a fresh round of casualty reports rolled in. Commander Nimitz grit her teeth. At this rate, someone would end up sinking.
"Commander. Permission to engage in close-quarters combat."
The radio crackled as a familiar voice came in. It was Enterprise. Commander Nimitz slammed her finger on the radio transmitter in an instant.
"Are you insane?! The Siren forces number in the hundreds! Even for you, that's impossible to take on alone!"
The Commander was met with silence. For a moment, she became fearful that Enterprise would simply disobey orders. Suddenly, the radio opened up again.
"I will not be alone; I will be using it."
Several gasps could be heard over the radio. Commander Nimitz froze. To invoke such power was dangerous. Placing her hands together, she began to consider their options.
"I suppose… there really is no other option."
Pressing the transmitter again, Commander Nimitz took a deep breath.
"You are cleared to use it, godspeed, soldier."
"Roger that. Enterprise, ENGAGING!"
A bright light suddenly shot into the sky. Illuminating it in all directions for several miles. The brilliant light could even be seen all the way from the Azur Lane Combined Naval Base, despite the engagement being more than fifty miles offshore.
"Ah… there it is…" Commander Nimitz murmured as she stood.
Slowly, she approached her freshly repaired windows as she gazed out across the sea. All around the base, and even the world, people looked up to the brilliant light. Within the conflicts that shook the world, there was still hope. And they could see it in that light. The light of a warrior who fought for them on the azure lanes. Truly, it was a magnificent sight.
"Yes. This light is the hope of humanity…" Commander Nimitz breathed as she extended a hand toward the light.
"And its name is…"
Enterprise let out a war cry as she charged forth, the weapon in her hands shining brightly. Power coursed through her veins, filling her cold, steel hull with a gentle warmth.
Enterprise knew she wielded the hope of humanity.
Thus she had no fear as the Sirens unleashed their deadly barrage. Lasers seared the air as they shot toward her, missiles homed in with deadly precision, and shells whistled a tune of death as they all converged on her as one.
"Let them hear the name of hope. Let them fear it, this power."
"BELFAST!"
With a mighty heave, the Eagle Union carrier unleashed her ultimate weapon. The Royal Navy's Head Maid was pulled before her, her bust bearing forth.
"FULL COUNTAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!*"
The Siren weapons slammed into the duo, as the light glowed even brighter, engulfing the battlefield in a brilliance of gold and white.
Then death ripped forth from the Head Maid's breasts as it tore into the hundreds of Siren ships, the force of their weapons returned three times over.
Nothing was left behind. Nothing could escape the wrath of the Head Maid's breasts.
"Yes… the hope of humanity…" Commander Nimitz whispered as the light slowly faded.
"Lies in Belfast's breasts."
*Yes, that was a Seven Deadly Sins reference. (Full Counter)
Hello everyone! It's been a while! Happy New Year by the way. I'd like to give a BIGGGGGGGGG shoutout to TheGreatestShow for creating the base for this chapter. Their writing never ceases to make me laugh at their brilliant ideas.
An additional shoutout goes to DaPorkchop_, Solmanthe1st, and Hellopeople130 for hanging with me and faithfully editing each chapter! Thank you all!
This particular chapter was inspired by this post: Danbooru post-3716828
As always, thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you feel so inclined so that we can improve as we go! The next chapter has plans to introduce a new nation Commander! Take a guess at which one it'll be~!
Till next time! -Yuukikonno08