Captain: Woo a new installment! Came back empty-handed from hunting, but second season opens in November! /archeryforthewin. Still spending most of my time applying to jobs/not getting any bites so that part is /super. And my stupid state governor is trying to ban corn mazes and pumpkin patches 'cause ya know...being *outside* is so bad for you and you totally won't catch an illness at a damn *grocery store* but will in some farmer's field /can'trolleyeshardenough. Who's ready for normalcy?! I know our dear Darcy is! Sorry dear, like us, you in this for the long haul X'D
Poll on my profile! It is strictly to gauge ya'lls interest in potential future fics from me, none of which would appear until *after* this fic and Firewall are complete, I may be a masochist, but I don't hate myself *that* much X'D
Enjoy another long chapter!
It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. ~Ursula K. Le Guin
Darcy elected to take the stairs up to the elevated human section of the medbay, returning to the bed she'd left that morning. The dripping IV stand and rumbled sheets were gone, replaced by clean bedding and the bottle of medication she hadn't bothered to touch. There was also a covered tray on the table with the medication and a ridiculously tall glass of water.
Ratchet pointed a massive metal digit at the tray. "Do not think I am unaware that you did not eat today. Empty the plate and the glass and I may consider not insisting on another IV. I will check on you when I finish with the other miscreant."
He turned, bright blue eyes narrowing sharply at a part of the room she couldn't see. This time his voice really did growl. "Jazz, plant your aft back on that berth before I weld you to it."
A clang and a huff were the only indication that the silver Autobot had abandoned his attempted escape.
Deciding she wasn't particularly interested in pushing the medic any further, Darcy sat on the bed and pulled the cover off of the tray. Sweet mercy there was a lot of food! There was no way she could eat that much! She didn't eat that much when she was healthy, damn it. Granted, she hadn't been that great about eating regularly anyway, but still. Her brows pinched together as she noted that hadn't been entirely true when it came to the weeks leading up to her abduction. Lennox had been like clockwork when it came to organizing breaks for meals and even Row-Prowl-had made comments until she'd gotten annoyed enough to go eat something. They'd almost managed to work her into a halfway healthy routine before she was taken. It felt like a lifetime ago.
Sucking in a breath, Darcy started in, knowing she would be better off doing as ordered for now. The faster she healed, the faster she could leave all of this behind.
"Come on 'Hatch, this is unnecessary!" Jazz's voice whined from out of sight.
"I agreed to clear you for the base raid provided you accepted a full diagnostic stasis scan. You put it off for three days. Now shut up and go into recharge," Ratchet rumbled back.
Another huff. "He's knockin' me out, Darce, so I'll catch ya on the flip!"
She was seriously beginning to wonder if anything really dampened his mood for more than half a second. And if he was capable of calling anyone by their actual name. Shaking her head in amusement, she called back, "Goodnight, Jazz.".
Darcy tried not to let her mind wander to what could be going on that matched the muted sounds that reached her from where Ratchet was working on Jazz. A stasis scan didn't sound too bad, but then there was still so much about their basic functions that she didn't know. Rather than let her mind take a trip down that particular rabbit hole, she replaced the conversation she'd had with him before they were found by the medic. Or rather, the story he'd told her about his planet and the background of the Autobot and Decepticon conflict. He'd certainly given her enough to stew over for quite some time, more than enough to cover how long it took her to finally clear the plate and empty the glass.
Her stomach felt damn near to bursting as she finished the last of the water with the handful of pills she'd been prescribed. She did feel marginally better already, though a hundred times more tired. Ratchet better speed it along if he wanted a conscious patient. Fighting a wince, she forced herself to sit up straighter. She didn't want to be an unconscious patient.
Luckily whatever he was doing with Jazz finished or paused, as he stepped back into view. Muscles tensed and her gut twisted uncomfortably at suddenly being his sole focus. He did not act as if he noticed.
"You should rest as well."
"I slept already today." Nevermind the fact she felt like she could sleep another eight hours. That food was hitting hard. Like Thanksgiving turkey-coma hard.
A chuffing sound escaped him that was probably a snort. "Four hours in a chair is hardly rest."
She frowned, brows scrunching together. Damn comms. "Prowl?"
Of course he would tattle to the medic.
"Hound. He kept an optic on you until Prowl came to retrieve you." The blue light shot from his arm, running over her skin like a ghostly itch. Darcy scowled lightly, crossing her arms over her chest. She didn't remember the green Autobot that must be Hound being there the first time she woke up, but then she hadn't really looked around much before fading out again.
"I don't need babysitters," she bit, emboldened by the tick of frustration at his scanning her without warning and assigning her chaperones.
"And yet, until I order otherwise, you'll have them," Ratchet replied easily, looking down at some sort of screen on his forearm. "Rest, Ms. Blake, you need it."
He moved away, the lights dimming a moment later. After the brightness of the standard medical lighting and his scanners, the darkness was completely blinding.
Grumbling about know-it-all doctors, Darcy crawled under the thin medical blankets. She was out before she could finish rolling to her side.
She woke in Starscream's grasp, the room bathed in the red glow of his eyes. Screaming, she tried to scramble out of his clawed hand. He cackled as he clenched tight around her, cutting off her air. Knock Out appeared at his side, visor burning bright, the wicked needle he'd stabbed her with once before out and ready to go. She struggled, gasping for breath, fighting with everything she had to keep that needle away from her skin. Knock Out tsked her as he forcibly grabbed her arm, jabbing the needle deep. Where were the Autobots? Where were Ratchet and Jazz? Where was Prowl? Where was anyone?
The sedative in the syringe acted quickly, dragging her back to oblivion.
Bright lights met her the second time around, muffled voices drawing her into consciousness. They were too far away, too low for her to make out as her mind struggled to fight off the drugs in her system.
She shot up, feeling a tug on her arm and ripping out the line before looking around. It was the medbay at the dam.
"Do you have a personal vendetta against intravenous medication?" Bolting back on the bed, Darcy whacked her head on the wall, sending stars to dance across her vision. Swearing roughly, her hands wrapped around her abused skull. "I would advise against doing that again."
She blinked up at the dry tone of Ratchet, who stood in front of her in all his robotic glory. No Starscream, no Knock Out, no sign they were ever there. Her forearm where Knock Out had implanted the tracking chip was still wrapped up tight, no sign it had been punctured. Just a spot of blood at her elbow where she'd ripped the IV out...again.
A dream, it had just been a dream. A terrifyingly real feeling dream, but no less the makings of her own mind.
"Ms. Blake?" Ratchet was frowning at her, the blue light of his scanner sweeping over her. Whatever readings came up made the frown deepen. "Your heart rate is elevated. Bad dreams?"
"Not that I remember." The lie fell easily from her lips as she busied herself with sitting up and rubbing her head. She scowled at the knots in her hair. Someone had cleaned her up when they brought her in-a thought she was definitely not going to think on for too long-but Starscream's grip had left a phantom residue she swore she could feel. Scrubbing a layer of skin off sounded as divine as it did human. "Any chance there's a shower and a change of clothes around here?"
The medic was still watching her carefully and he took several moments to do so before blasting off a vent of air. "After you take your medications and eat, Jazz will escort you to your assigned quarters."
"I can find my way, there's no need to trouble Jazz with babysitting duty." Jazz was the best of them, kind and small, but damn it all she wanted five minutes without an alien watching her.
"I don't recall asking for your medical advice," Ratchet snapped back and Darcy clamped her mouth shut. Right then, no arguing with the alien doctor.
Breakfast at least was lighter than dinner, if a little stronger on the protein. Finishing it was no easier on her stomach, but she forced it and the required medication down under Ratchet's heavy gaze. Only then did he clear her to officially move out of his medbay and to her temporary housing by the barracks. The sling on her arm itched, but the sharp look the medic sent her whenever she touched it kept her from messing with it...for now.
Jazz met her at the door in his shiny silver Porsche mode, Shemar Moore sitting on the hood with a cup of coffee she sorely hoped was real.
"Please tell me there's a coffee machine somewhere in this joint," she groaned once Ratchet had turned his attention to something else. For whatever reason, the alien held a remarkable level of disdain for caffeine in reasonable quantities. Tea just didn't cut it.
Jazz's holoform grinned, holding out the steaming cup to her. The heat and the aroma were quite real and the taste well worth the scalding it gave her tongue when she took a long pull from it. The first coffee she'd had since being taken and it was the best damn thing she'd ever had cross her lips. "Bless you, Jazz."
He chuckled with a shake of his head, the car rolling along beside her as she walked. "Happy ta be o' service."
Her skin pricked under subtle scrutinization, but Jazz said nothing, leading her in almost comfortable silence. It seemed a little out of place for the alien to be so quiet; perhaps his sleep...recharge...was not as restful as it might have been. Did a living computer dream, or were they incapable of reliving a memory as it didn't happen?
Unbidden, the image of Knock Out from her dream came to the forefront, burning the glowing red visor in her mind before she could push it away. The actual Decepticon didn't even have a visor. There was only one she'd seen so far that had it, but now her mind had linked the damn thing to fear.
At least Jazz was in car mode for now. She didn't need the questions or pitying glances that might come if she started flinching from him.
The walk to the barracks went quickly, Darcy raising her brows as Jazz gestured with a flourish at the door, his body stuck a few halls down. Holoform range was at least fifty yards then.
Stepping through the door, she was surprised to reveal what was basically a studio apartment. She'd expected a single bed maybe to herself. Certainly not her own bathroom and small kitchenette.
Jazz apparently recognized her confusion and grinned as he walked into the room, spinning to drop easily on the loveseat. "What? Thought we'd stick ya with the rest o' the grunts?"
"Um, yes?" This had to be a mistake. Jazz was screwing with her or something.
"Tsk, we may still be in construction, bu' we treat the VIPs betta than tha'."
"I'm hardly a VIP." She frowned, noting a familiar looking duffel sitting on the bed. Her duffel that usually acted as her go-bag whenever cases kept her from home for too long.
Jazz's holoform shrugged. "Perks o' havin' Prowls for a Guardian. Puts ya a bit above most visitors."
Her feet froze to the ground, the coffee cup pausing on its way to her lips. "Prowl is my what?"
A somewhat bloody important sounding tidbit Jazz had very conveniently forgotten to mention when telling her about them yesterday. Whatever the hell being a 'guardian' meant sounded a hell of a lot more permanent and long-term than Darcy was even wanting to entertain the idea of considering. Sure the Decepticons had thrown the term around a time or two, but that had been their own assumptions, it hadn't meant anything. Not like it did coming from an Autobot's mouth.
Jazz raised his hands in peaceful surrender. "As far as NEST tops know. Makes it easier fo' us to take care of ya."
She stiffened. She didn't want them to take care of her. Forcing out a breath, she mentally talked herself down. It was just a lie to deal with bureaucrats and keep them from attempting to sweep in. In no way was it actually true. It only meant that it was the Autobots she'd have to convince into taking her home and leaving her be. A feat she wasn't entirely positive was possible right now, but the time would come. Prowl would be the easiest to talk into it; he'd wanted her gone long before she'd ever gotten taken after all, no doubt he would fully support her leaving now.
"Right, well...thanks again for the coffee, but if you don't mind...I'd really love to take that shower now."
Jazz nodded, standing. "One mo' thing."
Pulling out what looked like a phone, he set it on the little nightstand by the bed. "So ya can find us if ya need ta, or if ya just wanna chat."
Right, the tracking in it definitely worked in reverse too. No way was she taking that thing anywhere. She nodded anyway, knowing she'd never use it for its other purpose either.
Come to think of it, she'd need a new phone as soon as she was out of here. Barricade had rather thoroughly trashed hers.
Setting the empty coffee cup aside, Darcy realized she had a rather long to-do list once she was out of here. It would be dealt with when the time came, for now, she had a shower calling her name.
It was the first time since waking that she was truly alone. No Autobots, no humans, no chances of someone coming across her in some hallway. She was alone and as she stepped under the spray the fragile ribbons holding her together began to snap.
Generic soaps rasped against her skin like sandpaper, taking off a layer skin with every forceful scrub. A layer for the grime of the caves, a layer for the coating of hateful stares, a layer for the blood on her hands, a layer for every touch, for every feeling she wanted to forget. The cut where Knock Out's chip had been removed dripped crimson from the shredded scab.
A sob wrenched from her throat as she watched red drip to the floor, watched the water spread it around before pulling it to the drain. So much blood, so much senseless violence, so much.
The tile bit her knees. Her throat constricted around every gasping breath. Scalding water cascaded over her shaking shoulders. The last ribbon snapped, releasing heaving sobs that could no longer be reined in. Darcy did not try to. She let herself sob for the lives destroyed, for the tortured and tormented. She let herself cry for herself.
Blood and tears flooded down the drain, but pain was not so easily washed away.
Jazz vented as he walked down the hall, no real destination in mind. His processor was wandering, namely around the little brunette femme he'd left behind to bathe. There was certainly a spark of fierce determination that had driven Prowl so bonkers in there, but it was buried under a mountain of trauma that was going to haunt her for a long time. She was working on accepting his presence, but even he got to her at times. He wanted to help, but she was going to heal more to start with someone she actually trusted. Even if neither of them were aware of the extent of that trust right now.
Pivoting, Jazz turned to saunter towards Prowl's office. It was time for some meddling, because his old friend was going to need all the help he could get.
"What do you mean no one is here!? The trackers are still active you blind, fragging idiot!" Starscream lashed out, clawed fingertips raking Skywarp's left wing. The seeker attempted to backpedal away from the Decepticon leader, only to find himself blocked by the smoking rubble pile.
Once it had been a large construct of bunkers and underground tunnels. Once it had been the Autobot base. A heavy barrage of missiles had reduced it to nothing. A solid and swift victory. The humans had never had time to flee for themselves.
Now they were saying there was never anyone there to begin with. No humans, no Autobots, no living things except for a few roasted lizards. A pair of which Skywarp held in his servos, charred skin peeled back to reveal the hidden trackers Knock Out had supposedly implanted in humans.
Thundercracker landed nearby, a small box pinched between his digits, knowing he needed to hand it over but loathe to do so. He could guess what kind of message would be on it and the repercussions that would follow. But there was no hiding in a trine bond, which meant better to get it over with before the others started gathering. It was always worse with an audience, especially now that a number had been buried in the old base by the Autobots, including three of the five Stunticons. Starscream would be looking to save face.
"This was left behind for you." Thundercracker passed the box to his leader, electing to not comment on the crude drawing that had been with it that indicated it was for him specifically. Now that he had destroyed.
"Tck, Sunny and I had a bet," Sideswipe's voice, of all mechs, happily chirped through the recording. "He thought you had the few wits necessary to know not to go for the easy attack right after we handed you your afts, but I know you 'Screamer. I have much more faith in you that you'd do something that dumb. The humans have been wanting to demo this place for ages but, ah, funding, you know? I trust you leveled it well, so we all thank you for your service, Screamie."
He broke off laughing, the recording cutting abruptly as the box was crushed to pieces in Starscream's grip.
Thundercracker barely had time to shut off the main pain receptors before Starscream latched onto his chassis and slammed a clawed fist into his face. Again and again and again, each blow sending a spark of pain through the bond that couldn't be turned off or ignored. It was a pain the leader could feel as well and it only enraged him further, pushed him to increase the strikes and the force behind them. Trines were never meant to injure each other, but Starscream always saw it as a limit to his power and control. He hated it. He hated the reminder of it. Most of all he hated that he relied on it.
Skywarp flinched away, dropping the dead lizards and turning away from the incoming Decepticons. Starscream would turn on him if he caught him cringing over his spark chamber which pounded with every strike against their trine-mate. It wasn't right, but there was no stopping it. Not now that Barricade and Breakdown were rumbling closer, not now that Soundwave could see.
Thundercracker didn't raise a hand to defend himself, even as his left optic flared brightly before going dark. No one raised a hand, they just watched until Starscream felt he had recovered himself in front of them well enough and let the blue jet drop to the ground with a sneer.
"Back to the Nemesis, the lot of you!" he roared, snapping into his alternate mode and blasting into the sky. The grounders were quick to drop into their chosen vehicles and disappear into a cloud of dust, escaping the dirt more than a desire to follow orders.
Skywarp waited until everyone else had left before daring to approach his fallen trinemate, wrapping an arm around to hoist him off the ground. Neither said a word as the air warped around them, a crackling boom going unnoticed by the empty canyon.
Knock Out growled as they appeared in his medbay on the Nemesis, as annoyed by the interruption to his buffing as he was by the fact that the room was already half taken over by the mech he'd been entirely unaware was even there before their mountain base had been destroyed.
"Now what?" he snapped, looking over Thundercracker before motioning to the only empty berth. "You know, until we actually start scrapping some Autobots, I don't have that many optics to replace what you lot keep destroying."
"Just do what you can, Knock Out," Thundercracker rumbled tiredly, dropping onto the available space with a pained grunt. Even with Starscream some distance away, the bond ached at the abuse it had taken.
As the red car set about repairing the damage to his frame, the blue seeker eyed the large covering that split the room in two and hid the other patient from view. He didn't know who it was or why the secrecy, nor did he particularly care to ask.
He just wanted this all to be over. He wanted to fly and explore and not get shot at, he wanted to celebrate something other than death. He wanted to do something good again, that felt like it helped the lives of the Cybertronians left.
Most of all, he was just tired.
Darcy stayed too long in the shower, until she'd cried herself out and then some. Her skin red and raw from the scrubbing and heat of the water yet feeling no cleaner than when she had stepped in.
She was due to take her medications from Ratchet again, but tracking down where the bottle had fallen when she'd tossed it from her pocket sounded exhausting. She had to have slept for a decent number of hours last night, but after such a breakdown, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. Since she wasn't expected anywhere, that was exactly what she did.
She woke up screaming, covered in a layer of sweat, Shockwave's lab burning behind her eyes.
Chest heaving, she rubbed her damp eyes and tried to focus on the memory of the rescue, of the medbay. She was in a real bed, in a room on the Autobot base. No Decepticons were here. She was safe.
And more weary than when she'd laid down. Swinging her legs over the edge, she gave up on the idea of trying again.
After putting on a fresh set of her own clothing, she stood by the door, unsure. She didn't want to be around the Autobots, didn't want to be around anyone really, but her skin crawled being alone in that room. She glanced at the phone Jazz had left for her. She could use it as a way to avoid any of them and perhaps it even had a map of this place. Of course they could always track her by it, but if she saw them coming, she'd have time to move on.
Grumbling to herself, she snatched it off the nightstand. There were no buttons on it, just a small screen and a fingerprint reader. Scowling, she pressed her thumb against it. There was no way they'd set that...okay, apparently they had gotten her fingerprints down and input in the phone...thing. It flashed to light at her touch, revealing the home screen of any smartphone. Only a few icons were present, but the background was completely overtaken by the smiling face of Jazz's holoform. An icon was even expressly labeled 'Call Jazzinator' and was in the shape of a silver Porsche. Skipping over it and the contacts icon, she selected the Autobot symbol cheerfully labeled as 'Find my Friends'.
It wasn't a well detailed map, but it could be enough to somewhat navigate the base. Only four blue dots showed up, Jazz, Ratchet, Prowl, and Optimus. She doubted that somehow everyone else had cleared out, which meant she'd only be able to know where those four were at any given time. Not ideal for avoiding all aliens, but it was a start.
Using the map, she turned left, hoping to find the kitchen or dining area. Food sounded entirely unappealing, but another cup of coffee was calling her name. If she wasn't going to be getting much sleep, then she was going to be needing a lot of it.
Turned out it wasn't too far from the rec room, which wasn't all that hard to get to from her room. Six coffee machines lined a wall, indicating she was far from the first caffeine-addicted human to have stayed here. Thank God.
Filling the tallest cup she could find, she took at a seat at an empty table. This dining hall was solely human sized, no aliens unless they were using holoforms. No celebrity faces mixed among the soldiers, so she counted herself safe for now.
According to the phone, Prowl was pacing in front of Ratchet, Optimus hadn't moved from where she was sure was the conference room she'd been in yesterday, and Jazz….Jazz was headed this way.
It was definitely coincidence. No way he was looking for her, an insignificant human among a hundred. He could just be passing by, he could be looking for someone else.
She still felt her heart rate spike and stood slowly, moving in a forced relaxed manner to the opposite door. No one would notice her departure, and there were now many hallways between her and the Porsche.
Looking down at the cup in her hand, she cursed her own cowardice. Jazz had been nothing but kind and gentle, offering stories or silence when she needed it, brought her coffee for pits sake, and here she was avoiding him because he was an alien.
Shoving the phone in her pocket, she buried the guilt and kept walking.
Eventually she ended up in the rec room again. Only a few soldiers were enjoying their lunch there, plates of food balanced precariously on a knee as they gestured dramatically through whatever story they were telling the large red Autobot sitting behind them.
She winced at the glare of the color.
No, this was Mirage. He was one of the good guys. He'd led them out of those caves, helped them escape
All she had to do was suck in a breath and take a seat in one of the empty chairs; he wouldn't talk to her, he hadn't even looked at her.
She turned on her heel and walked back out.
There was nowhere to go, no way outside that she had found yet, and nothing in her room but empty walls and silence. No case to work on, no mine to dig, no job to do, not a thing to distract her from the thoughts or the Autobots she couldn't get away from.
Letting out a strangled frustrated sound, she set herself to finding the nearest unaccompanied human to ask for directions. If they couldn't or wouldn't point her towards a door, then there had to be some sort of gym around here. Her head may be screwed to hell but at least she could start rebuilding her body again.
The soldier she did find gave her a confused look when she asked about the door and didn't seem sure how to answer, but he did point her in the direction of the workout room. It didn't host many machines, mostly free weights and even the majority of those were obviously created by welding together pieces of scrap metal from the construction projects. Crude but effective. The room was empty of living beings.
Deciding not to squander her good fortune, Darcy slipped back to her room to change, thankful her go-bag always had a pair of sweats in them just in case. The mock weight room was right at the front of the barracks and so just down the hall from her room; inaccessible to the aliens.
She paused as she returned in proper clothing, wondering if this was really such a good idea. Ratchet had been very clear about keeping her arm immobile until he cleared her for 'specific' exercises to build it back up and the rest of her body was hardly in any better shape.
It wasn't like she could think of anything else to do though and just maybe the physical work would help her sleep without dreams.
That was the hope anyway.
Careful to keep her left arm as uninvolved as possible, she started through a series of simple arm and core reps. The usual weights were too heavy, her flexibility and core strength shot. She scowled as her right arm failed to complete the tenth rep of a simple side raise, the weight slipping through numb fingers. Weeks she spent swinging a hammer in the Decepticon mine, and now she couldn't even get through one workout routine?
Growling, she chanced a glance at the clock on the wall. Not even half an hour. There had to be a treadmill or a track or something around. Surely she could at least still jog.
Tucked in the far corner where the lighting was poor, a lone treadmill sat, as if shoved in as an afterthought and not touched since. Clearly it'd been purchased used and no doubt at its previous address it'd been used more as a coat hanger than exercise equipment. Not that Darcy blamed whoever used to own this thing. She wasn't a fan of treadmills or jogging anymore than most people. Right now, though, it might damn well be the only thing she was capable of doing.
Ten minutes was all it took to prove that she was wrong in that too. Slower, weaker, and no stamina. She hung her head as she walked back to her room, needing another shower. It was going to be a long road to getting back to police standards.
Shaking her head, she knew that she couldn't dwell on how long it was going to take, only that the first step had been taken. Move forward, keep moving forward.
If only her head could listen to such advice about other things.
The second shower she kept short and decided afterward that the best way to keep Ratchet away was to do as he instructed. Scrounging around the room revealed the corner the medical bottle had fallen. Taking the prescribed number of pills, she set the bottle on the nightstand for later. Actual food was next on the list and definitely another cup of coffee.
If she didn't look at the clocks, it was impossible to know what time of day it was. In all her wanderings she'd only found a handful of windows that looked out onto the dam or the river below, offering very little natural light throughout the place. How did these people handle not seeing the sun? Or was she simply the only who hadn't found a damn door? No one had said she wasn't allowed topside and yet anyone she asked avoided giving her a direct answer outside of the hangar door she'd seen Ironhide drive out of. But that door was definitely not about to open at her whim.
She'd tried.
So for two days she spent her time in the mess hall, the gym, her room, or wandering the corridors while attempting to avoid any and all aliens. It worked, for the most part. Other than an occasional 'hello', the Autobots she did come across paid her no mind and were utterly unfamiliar. It all occupied her mind as well as watching grass grow, but her racing heart always drove her to escape whatever alien she'd come across.
At night she did whatever she could to avoid sleep. She paced and jogged empty corridors, wrote notes of everything she knew of Cybertronians thus far, worked her shoulder through stretches to test its new limits, and dared visit the rec room when it was empty to watch mindless television. The news mentioned nothing of people being murdered, nothing on an explosion in the Cascade mountains, nothing on aliens. It droned on as it always had, offering half details of stories that might make people afraid or angry. They didn't know fear, they didn't know the real threat out there, staring the planet in the face, haunting her sleep. The Decepticons were waiting for her when she closed her eyes, ready to tear her apart, or tear John and Lennox to pieces in front of her, or any of the hundreds of hapless other victims she couldn't save. Sometimes it was the Cons themselves, sometimes they had the features of the Autobots, and sometimes it was the Autobots committing the violence.
She woke screaming every time she let herself fall asleep, so she kept herself awake as long as she could. Maybe, just maybe, if she exhausted herself enough, she might fall into a deep enough sleep to avoid the dreams.
It wasn't working yet, but she couldn't face Barricade carving into John again.
"Detective, you should be in recharge." Darcy jolted, snapping her unseeing gaze from the TVs to the figure in the doorway. Black and white, her heart thudded in her ears.
Prowl, it was just Prowl, not Barricade, not an off-colored Ravage, Prowl.
"I'm, ah, not tired," she forced out, shooting a quick look at the clock, three in the morning, which meant two hours before the mess hall started serving. His face made the motion of raising a brow, drawing her eyes up to the chevron standing starkly out in cherry red. So very different from the pure black of the Mustang.
After a pause, he dipped his chin in apparent acceptance, even if she doubted he actually believed her.
"I thought you might wish to know that Detective Williams and his spouse were safely delivered to their home. There appears to be no Decepticon activity around your town, nor have they revisited their disposal sight." She let out a relieved breath. Regardless she knew John wouldn't stay long before packing up and heading for Florida, but she was grateful to hear the rest of her town was not currently being plagued by the Decepticons.
"Will I be cleared to go home then as well?" It was a stretch and she knew the answer the moment his face shifted into what could have been considered a frown.
"I would still greatly advise against such an action. There is no guarantee that they are not monitoring the town from afar, hoping you might present them another opportunity." There was a note of resignation and she found it odd that she took some comfort in it. At least he seemed to understand her desire to go home, even if he couldn't get her there right now.
But then, he did understand that desire, didn't he? His home, his planet was dead and dark. He couldn't ever go home, he was trapped on an alien world fighting the same fight that had destroyed his world in the first place.
Her problems felt very small in comparison.
"I understand. Thank you, for telling me about John." She wondered if they dreamed and if they did, why kind would haunt their sleep after millennia of war?
Mentally jerking herself from that particular bunny trail, she turned back to the television which was still quietly playing some military show from the 70's. She could practically feel Prowl over her shoulder as he turned to go and hesitated.
"Detective, Ratchet has requested a scan to check your healing progress." She winced lightly, having successfully avoided the medical bay in the last two days. Granted, she had also managed to avoid having a consistent 'chaperone' and she wasn't counting her luck to go so far as the medic not noticing that little fact. She did not look forward to drawing out the alien's ire more than it was already.
"If you would permit," Prowl continued slowly, as if unsure. Darcy blinked back at him in surprise. When had he ever been anything but totally confident? "I have the scanners necessary for such an exam, I can do it now so that you do not have to find your way to the medbay."
Darcy could only stare, shocked more by the offer than his initial hesitance. Of course it made logical sense, she reasoned. If he had the equipment to do it and Ratchet wanted results pronto, why not just do it while he was there with her?
As much as she wasn't a fan of the scanning, the chance of not having to face the medic was too tempting to pass up.
"Yeah, I...guess that would be fine," she replied with less confidence than she was hoping. Prowl had scanned her before, it would be fine. Granted he'd been a car at the time, but that was no difference, right?
He nodded once, stepping forward to get an unencumbered view of her. Muscles clenched tight at the vibrations his movement sent through the floor. It's just Prowl, she reminded herself sharply, relax damn it. Last thing she needed was Ratchet thinking something was wrong with her because her scan came back showing she was all clammed up.
Taking several steadying breaths as Prowl messed with something on his forearm-in the same place as Ratchet's scanner, she noted-Darcy managed to slowly get herself to ease the tension of her body. It wasn't a perfect relaxation, but it was the best she could manage.
The blue light danced over her skin, raising the hairs on her arms with its phantom touch. It was just light, nothing was actually touching her, and yet even closing her eyes she swore she could feel it. She hated it and apparently having the right equipment did not mean that it worked as quickly as the medic's, for Prowl took easily twice as long. Her skin itched.
His blue eyes narrowed slightly in her direction and this time the advisement sounded much more like a direct order. "Get some rest, Detective, you need it."
Yeah, right.
She tried, she really did. Once she was so exhausted she walked her bad shoulder into a doorjam and the coffee no longer did anything to keep her eyes open, she went to bed. She slept hard and fast and had a solid two hours before Starscream was there, whipping a cat-like tail back and forth as he stalked her. She ran and ran but could not go anywhere, could not escape the hot breath fanning over her neck, could not get away from his mad laughter as gunfire cut down the invisible faces around her.
Darcy shot up gasping, choking on fear and tears, her legs tangled tightly in the sheets. She struggled out of it, heart pounding as she finally found her feet and turned on the light. Four hours, she'd gotten four hours.
It would be among the best nights she'd get over the coming week.
Jazz tracked her down more than once, offering coffee and stories. She liked him, he was friendly and humorous; good company, provided it was his holoform visiting her and not his towering robotic self. She couldn't get away from Autobots, while most were content to ignore her in favor of their conversations with their other human friends, Prowl seemed intent to find her for a 'scan update' every other day, his orders for sleep gaining severity each time.
She shrugged him off, it wasn't as if he could understand, not really.
It would be better once she was home. They just had to let her go home.
Prowl was still claiming it was too dangerous; her mentor had made it home and made the move south without incident, but he was convinced Barricade would jump on the chance at her again.
She knew they had history but was it this severe?
Probably.
Now he was before her again, face pinched as he finished yet another scan in favor to Ratchet.
"This behavior is destructive. You need recharge, Detective," Prowl intoned with a hint of frustration. She swore his doorwings stood a little more rigid on his back than they usually did.
"I said I'm fine. I'm not even tired." She wasn't, not literally anyway. She was dead-on-her-feet exhausted, but if she went a little longer, just a bit more, she stood a better chance of sleeping hard enough to not dream for three hours.
"All of us get the dreams, you cannot avoid them forever and they will not go away if you do not face them." His tone had dropped to a softer pitch. It aggravated her, scraping against worn and fried nerves.
"I've told you, I don't remember any dreams I might have. I'm just not tired." It was the same excuse she'd passed several times before. She just wished he would leave her alone already, stop pushing and prodding. Turning her back to him, she started for the human sized door that would give her some forced privacy. Thank god his holoform projector had yet to be fixed.
His engine growled. "If you are quite done lying to me."
The accusation in his voice, the bite, it was all too much. She whirled on him with a growl of her own, throwing up her hands in frustrated fury. "What do you want me to say, Prowl? That every time I close my eyes, I see the Cons coming for me? That I hear the screams of people being tortured every night? You want me to tell you all about how Starscream or Barricade kill me over and over, that I wake up terrified? Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Her hands shook as she angrily swiped at escaping tears. Prowl vented softly, the doors on his back dipping. "It will be alright, Darcy."
"How?" She hated that her voice cracked. "How can it be alright when I'm afraid all the time?"
He glanced around with a sigh before his body collapsed in on itself, panels sliding across one another with a hiss until the Charger was before her, driver's door propped open. "Will you go on a drive with me?"
No, absolutely not, she wanted nothing to do with getting in a car that was actually an alien.
But she did want out of the base, to see the sky and breathe fresh air. It wasn't like this was a new Autobot, she'd ridden in this form several times. She'd driven it without asking and he'd let her. Her alternative was to walk away and stay trapped underground until they deemed fit to release her. Cursing her still-racing heart, she slid into the driver's seat, eyeing the door as it clicked softly shut behind her. Immediately the windows dropped down as he started rolling forward.
They exited the base in silence. Relief was almost tangible the moment the fresh breeze hit her face, the rays of the sun soaking into her skin. She didn't touch the pedals or the wheel as they drove, tipping her head back to focus solely on the open air swirling through the windows. It didn't matter where he was taking her, it wasn't as if she'd be able to stop him anyway.
"Take control," his voice jolted her out of her twisting thoughts.
"What?" No way she heard that right.
"Take control," he repeated, relaxing his hold on his wheel. It was an unnatural feeling, but Jazz was right. She was going to need a push.
Darcy was sure he wasn't serious and only tentatively placed her hands on the steering wheel, light enough to not correct as he drifted into another lane. No one was out here on this empty stretch of highway. No one but the semi in the opposite lane, closing the gap fast.
"Prowl," she warned, taking her hands back. What the hell was he doing?
"I do hope you plan to follow your own road laws soon. I do not wish to have to explain to Ratchet exactly why I crashed."
"You're not serious." She eyed the oncoming semi, heart jumping to her throat as it blared its horn. Prowl continued to drift further into the truck's lane.
"I am not Sunstreaker, I do not particularly care if my paint gets scratched." He was letting off the speed now, coasting in the wrong lane straight at what amounted to a battering ram.
"This isn't funny," she growled, checking the doors to see if bailing was an option. The locks were down tight. "Prowl."
It was like he'd checked out completely. The Charger continued rolling as if no one was in control, driven by its own momentum.
"Prowl!" Nothing, the truck was seconds away, laying on its horn.
Darcy slammed her foot on the gas, jerking the wheel harshly to the right. Prowl responded as he had when she'd stolen him after John had been taken, surging forward at her touch, clearing the path of the semi only just in time.
"What the hell, Prowl?" Darcy growled, attempting to rip her hands back now that they were in the clear. A small tingle of an electrical current rippled through her fingers, clamping them firmly down. She couldn't let go.
"Don't bail on me now, Detective. Drive." He was not giving her a choice.
Fine, if he was going to be that way, then she was going to test just how much he didn't mind getting his paint scratched. The more miles she put between her and the dam, the better. Taking the next exit, she cruised through the twisting roads until the blacktop ended and the salt flats were laid out before her, stretching beyond the horizon. Open, unending, not a soul-human or otherwise-for miles, just her and a silent Autobot.
Prowl was powerful. Darcy was painfully attuned to the fact that she wasn't even completely aware of all his strengths and weapons, but in horsepower alone she knew he dwarfed any man-made machinery. He was putting all that power in her control, giving her the literal reins to his body. Reins he could take back at will whenever he wanted, but for now he let the salt and sand fly, let her push him to his maximum speed.
In a normal car it would be suicidal if not downright impossible to go so fast, but the Charger did not even rattle in protest and Prowl didn't apply the brakes. Wind and salt bit at her face, whipping her hair around and partially blinding her. Despite the reckless nature of the drive, it felt….freeing.
As the mountains that were once far in the distance began to loom overhead, Darcy let off the gas, letting Prowl slowly come down to a stop. They were a long way from any roads, from any life larger than a lizard. Salt created a sticky layer over her skin and for once, she couldn't feel Barricade's crushing grip.
"We all struggle to come to terms with events that were beyond our control."
Darcy blinked at the radio for a lack of a better place to look. "What?"
"Your dreams, the fear, it comes from the lack of control you felt with the Decepticons, that you still feel with us." Well wasn't this the perfect plan then? Let her drive them out to the middle of nowhere where there was no way to get away from him and a chat she really didn't want to have.
"I figured that much, thanks," she growled, twisting the wheel and pressing the gas to head back to the pavement. To her surprise, he let her.
"But you are not alone in it. We may not dream the same as humans, but that does not mean we can escape the memories of fear." Darcy found it hard to believe this Autobot had felt that paralyzing, cold terror. What was there to fear when they were as big as they were? As strong? They could be killed, yes, but it took tremendous force. Humans were so very fragile compared to them, an ant to a boot.
"When was the last time you felt fear that stuck to you? When have you ever been out of control?" she snapped, glaring at the speedometer that was now refusing to go above seventy.
He went quiet for a pause, his voice coming out low, as if he wasn't sure of what he was saying himself. "When Barricade had you in his grip and I could do nothing but watch him take you. I was helpless to protect you when you needed me and I cannot scrub that feeling from my memory bank. I have seen the results of Shockwave's experiments and I have been at the mercy of a fusion cannon. Millennia of war does not make it easier to face our moments of greatest weakness, but we must face them to move forward. Your dreams are not going to disappear because you try to sleep as little as possible. You must accept what you had no control over and focus on what you do."
Darcy slouched in the seat, looking at her scarred hands instead of the flats speeding by. "I just want to go home."
"I would not advise such a course, but we will not hold you captive. If home is where you wish to go, I will take you there and you need not hear from us again."
Her heart hammered in her chest. "Really?"
"I cannot promise the Decepticons will not still come for you, Barricade's vendetta runs deep, and I must ask what your plan is. I am aware you lost your position in your department for calling me. Do you intend to continue with law enforcement?"
She blew out a heavy breath. He made an unfortunately good point. Barricade would still be after her even if just out of spite, and she didn't have a job waiting for her. There was nothing waiting for her at home but an empty house. Would she be able to find work in another department? Or had the Chief totally sullied her name?
There was only one thing she actually did know for certain. "I can't imagine doing anything else."
Even if she had to start from the bottom and work her way up again, there was nothing else she wanted to do. She had control over that, at least. People still needed help from worldly dangers and she was capable of handling that.
Air escaped the vents in a sigh. "I suggest a proposition. Stay with us for a month, give us time to understand what the Decepticons are up to and yourself time to process and adjust. Then I will take you home if that is what you wish, with a recommendation from NEST to whatever department you choose and the funding to cover your relocation."
That was...generous. She hadn't expected to be able to leave here with anything but a contract of secrecy. All she had to do was stay for a month, thirty days. It was time to get her head right, to wrangle her sanity back in and get herself sound enough to walk the beat again. She'd already done it for almost a week and a half, what was four more?
"Deal."
"I have one other request."
She raised her brows at the dash. He'd already gotten her to agree to stay for a few weeks, what else was there?
"I want you to be honest about your dreams, Darcy. If not to me then someone on base. They are not going to cease until you face them." She knew he was right, that avoiding them was getting her nowhere, that pretending they didn't happen wasn't going to make it true. But she didn't know if she could face them, or who she could tell them to. Not the NEST soldiers, they were well used to the Cybertronians and had signed on to fight alongside them and against them. John was gone, moving on with his life, and if she was being honest with herself, she didn't want to put it on him. He'd gone through enough and deserved to be left to his recovery. Ironically, of everyone available to her on base, it was Prowl who knew her best.
"I doubt it'll help." She slumped further, noting there was still no sign of the pavement ahead. Just how far out did they come?
"And yet your current course has not been working, has it?" His tone clearly indicated it was a rhetorical question that he definitely knew the answer to.
Blowing out a breath, she conceded that he was right, damn him. "Alright, I'll find...someone to talk to about them."
She didn't know who, certainly not a base shrink. Maybe Ratchet so that he might give her something to help her sleep? Prowl hadn't asked she describe her dreams, only admit to them when they happened. That she could do at least.
They traveled in a silence that for once was comfortable. As they finally hit the pavement again, Darcy glanced around, noting with a wince the layer of salt that now covered every surface of Prowl's interior. "Sorry about the salt."
Probably should have put the windows up before the mad dash over the flats, but she couldn't find it in herself to regret it too much. He rumbled lightly, "I wash just as easily as you."
Captain: Not a whole lot of action this chapter, but some critical bonding time between our two favorite investigators, and we see that perhaps Ratchet and Prowl are a little more onto Knock Out's tricks than the 'Cons expected...and Sideswipe is...himself, poor TC. Can Darcy survive a full month on the Autobot base without going stir crazy? Will Jazz continue to meddle in the relationship between his friends?
Please drop a review! And when you do, lemme know your favorite Cybertronians and if there's anyone you'd love to see show up :D